Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Sexiest Jobs

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

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I just started looking to your show, and you guys are the best. Cameroon. Cameroon. Is that you? You guys are hilarious. Long history of not reading words correctly on the air, as you just heard a moment ago. Damn you, turtle reading group, someone said. And as we break down this list now of the sexiest jobs you could possibly have, I think that we'll all be surprised when we find out the number one sexiest job is something that failed me my entire life, sadly.

Right? Would you agree? Gym instructor? No, that's not even on there. But, you know, sexy jobs shift person to person. And I think that we all have someone that we would consider to be sexy. I would think that it would be like professional athlete, physical trainer. You would think those are sexiest jobs.

Yeah, it would be like lifeguard, things where you have to be really trim. Yeah, Pilates instructor, yoga instructor. That should be number one on every list. It's not even on the list, which is crazy. And I think that they have put this list together based on a couple of things, not just what we consider as humans out there in the real world, But they are looking specifically now, Google Trends looks at employment figures across 45 different professions, and they are trying to see what attraction searches and costume interest. So that means as people are starting to plan Halloween stuff, and they're searching for sexy blank, sexy blank, it's already begun.

So once again, the- So that means it's a sexy profession if people want to dress like it for Halloween? Well, they believe that that's why the Google Trends has now changed the order as to what is considered an attractive job to have. Well, and I bet it's different for men's professions versus women's. Like, if I was going to say men, I would go with something more like firefighter. And for women, I would go with the obvious, welder, park ranger, shot putter. Definitely the obvious. All the bulky jobs.

Ali has just given us the full list now. No need to spend any more time on this. It's funny, you mentioned firefighter. That is actually number five on the list of the top five sexy jobs. That is number five. But I do believe you're right. I think it is gender specific where if someone's like, hey, I've got this girl. You got to meet her.

She's hot. What does she do? She's a Pilates instructor. Hell yeah, let's do lunch. She's a firefighter. Great. I'll introduce her to my friend Helen. Right.

Is she? You got to meet her and introduce her to another woman. But yet a guy, I would imagine most women, Vanessa, if I said I had someone I wanted you to meet, and you say, what do they do? I'm like, they're a firefighter. Instantly you go, ooh, right? There's interest. I do go like, ooh,

but then I also think, I bet you he cheats. Really? That's my second thought. I heard that is a stereotype or a rumor. Literally, I keep hearing that, so I'm like, I'm not interested.

But if somebody to me said, I want you to meet this girl, she's a firefighter or a cop or something like that, I would be like, ooh. No, it's nurses. Nurses are known for being the biggest cheats.

They cheat on all of their spouses. Firefighters are, that's a bold statement, Johnny, But firefighters are hot for multiple reasons. They're actually literally hot because they're inside of burning buildings. But they're hot, according to all the searches, because something heroic about what they do makes them instantly hotter. The brave and the heroism, regardless of just the physical attributes, because of the stereotypical history of like, oh, it's a calendar, a hot firefighter calendar. Even if they're saving somebody, yeah, that's hot.

But even the little things like, hey, little kid, you want to come check out my fire truck? Like, it's all endearing and cute, too. So that's hot to people, like the just good example on a community type thing. When they go to like a fair or an event, they're passing the boot around. It's endearing and, you know, I think heart crushing. Because some firefighters, let's be honest, they're fat guys with big bushy mustaches. And there's not, if they had a different job other than firefighter but looked the same way, they would be, I think, looked at as less attractive. Then because they're a firefighter, they instantly get attractive points.

And that's what it's all about. How many attractive points can you collect? Oh, well, I think that about lead singers. Like, if a lead singer is a four, they're going to be like an eight on stage. Because they're up on stage. Right. Lead singer. The next job, which is similar to firefighter, and once again, Allie, I would think this would be huge in the lesbian world, but police officer is number four.

Specifically, once again, the whole thing is that people like someone in uniform, but I don't think it's the uniform so much as the uniform implies that they have a job. And I think nowadays, especially living here, where so many people have, quote, jobs, but, like, I'm a producer or I'm a, like, what does that even mean? There's not a clear image in your head. Right. I'm an entrepreneur. If they're not a Paw Patrol character, then who cares? Yeah, yeah. Which character from Paw Patrol are you?

So are you Marshall or Chase? Because if not, I can't quite figure it out. There's a lot of people that I'm sure you've met here that have these, like, jobs that you can't really even explain. If you have to explain, like, my brother-in-law, I still don't know what he does. Mm-mm. entrepreneur does this does that he uses all those buzzwords yeah he's a business starter he's a consultant i'm a connector i connect people what does that mean though but what is the job he's a bcc-er he bcc's people that's what he does you know and then i don't there are

people that think that's hot because he's a mover and a shaker but i don't think that it's but there's no there's no top of the list someone goes i'm a cop you're like i know exactly what you do oh and if i see a woman in a tight ponytail she's on a motorcycle she's got a badge She's got a gun. That's power right there, right between her legs. That's a power play. I think that we're into the power of it. The idea that they could maybe get us out of a ticket is also helpful as well.

There are roles that automatically start playing out in your head. That's what's hot. When that motorcycle cop pulled you over on the way here. That was not hot. But he's a good-looking guy. What? He's a good-looking guy. He was a fat, bald guy.

He wears a helmet. How could you tell what his hair looked like? Well, because I looked him up. Oh, you found him after. You weirdo. You did? You looked him up afterwards? Yeah, I was mad.

So what did you do? I hate-watched his photos. What? I was like, you jerk. Number three, I didn't even know this was a job, but apparently cowboy, that's a job? You can know that's a full-time job? Really?

That's cool. Most sexiest profession in America. Like a rodeo cowboy? Like bull rider guy? That's what I would, I don't even want to know. I got eight seconds. The people that gather the cows, guys. Cowboy.

They gather the cows. Okay. Yeah, but that's a... Cow gatherer doesn't sound as sexy. That sounds like a wrangler. Yeah, yeah, that's different. I mean, a cowboy, like... A cowboy, guys!

He's on the horse! I know what a cowboy looks like. I didn't know that was, like, a profession. Like a ranchero. Like, neighbors used to do that. They used to have a farm with chickens and stuff. The sexy name of a ranchero is a cowboy. All right.

But, like, what would be a standard... I mean, if I met some... You meet someone... Like, who... What are they doing as a full-time cowboy? Right. Gathering cows. I don't think that they're just gathering cows.

It can't be a full-time job. It can't be 9 to 5, I'm gathering cows for this entire day. You're repairing fences, you're patrolling the ranch, all sorts of stuff. No, you're stopping the robbers. The train robbers. Obviously. You're fighting Indians. That's most of the job.

Careful, Jake. That's Jake right there. He's from a different time, guys. He's been grandfathered into that phrase. Still hot. Just above cowboy, the second hottest job. Johnny mentioned this. nurses and once again i think there's something about being cared for and i think that the

concept of and we talked to real nurses that don't like all of the i think that's the old stereotype is the sexy nurse dirty doctor naughty nurse there yeah right but the reality is in real life they're just changing your bedpan giving you an it's a very unsexy job most of the time they see you at your worst i know you think they're hot it's never bad it's never reciprocated But also, I think that nurses have really toned down. They don't want to be thought of as sexy, so that's why they wear those giant smocks and stuff. Like manatees on them? Super tight figs?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wear super tight figs. Not super tight. Getting baggier. I think they decided we're sick and tired of it. Because remember we met that weird contestant for Creepiest Uncle that was always checking himself into the hospital just so he could flirt with the nurses? Oh, yeah, that's right. And the nurses have got to be just annoyed as hell.

They don't want to deal with that. So eventually they go, if I just keep putting on baggier and baggier scrubs, they'll stop hitting on me. And they wear thicker and thicker shoes. Yeah, that's a good point. Those things are so thick now. Yeah, like it's definitely very different than if you look at any Halloween store, what the, quote, sexy nurse costume looks like. Yeah, that doesn't exist anymore. Versus the reality.

There's no such thing. Did nurses ever wear skirts like that? Back in the day, like in the 60s and 70s for sure. I don't think so. I don't think they ever wore that. No way. Like there was a time when every nurse was walking around looking like a nurse stripper? No way.

Right. I think that that was just a trope from the beginning. And the sexiest job, according to all of the research, the Google Trends, of all the 45 professions that were studied, is something that I think goes, they say, down the middle. Men are attracted. Women are attracted. And it has to do with the art. Morning radio. There we are.

Finally. So just if you're wondering, that is true. Everyone finds morning radio hosts to be incredibly attractive. The fattest and baldest of them all. even the women and they wrote uh by the way this is a joke no one likes you losers get a grip uh teacher that's the number one wow teacher you know i i would agree with that i don't the most sexy is kind of surprising but if if there's a guy who's like a history teacher i feel like that's hot well that's the thing he wants to teach the youth supposedly women like reading

everyone finds reading to be a quote sexy hobby i think women find that hotter if guys read teacher I think you're forced to read. So you got that figured out. Well, they like it. I don't think they like it, but they have to because they've got to read the curriculum or whatever it's called, right? It's even true, too, like when the teachers hook up with the students all the time. Very hot. And by the way, there's probably a lot of male teachers that probably are creepy that do that,

but a lot of the female teachers that are hooking up with students, they're all hot. Yeah, dude. I don't know what's going on. They're bad. They could do fine with men their own age. They could do great. And they're somehow with students. I can't figure it out.

Well, and I'm sure the students are like, this is amazing. I know. I mean, I look back at some of the teachers. I know you had that teacher you stalked and you followed home from school. I followed her halfway home once. Vanessa, did you ever have a teacher that you had a crush on? In college, I did have like a cute teacher. I was like, what?

You're my teacher? Hi. Did you say that every day? No, I thought it. I was like, I will come to this class every day. And did you ever go to like office hours or? No. Never?

Never. It helps, too, because sometimes it's a very boring subject. Like, we had a physics teacher who was a young, hot guy, and everybody was paying attention. And physics sucks. Yeah, but I wonder what that is, though, because I understand the power dynamic of, like, a student, a college student, and a young, hot teacher, right? But if they were not the teacher, it's because they're having power over your grades, right? Or they just know a lot. They're super smart.

Is that the turn on? Yeah, they're smart. Like, the fact that this big, buff, hot guy was, like, handling beakers. Really? Everyone was like, ooh. So there you have it. If you're a teacher, a nurse, a cowboy, a police officer, a firefighter, or a morning radio host, you are considered incredibly sexy. Someone said they were a volunteer firefighter for a while, and they had to stop because they were getting hit on constantly.

I wonder how little I could volunteer to just say I was a firefighter. Like, can I put in like an hour every other week and then just go around and tell people I'm a firefighter? I don't know if volunteer has the same ring to it. Yeah, let's carry on.