Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Summer Injuries

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, Rob.

We are Klein Alley Show. Summer is supposed to be a time for fun, but also there's a lot of the summer injuries that happened. The sausage toe, that's what got me last summer. This summer, I almost came out unscathed, but then, boom, head butt to the nose, blood everywhere in the pool. And then now I'm deaf in one ear. So don't follow your medical advice from TikTok. Well, you can't blame anybody for that but yourself. Well, I can blame whatever happened that forced me to then turn to TikTok and put a bunch of olive oil in my ear.

You are the one who chose TikTok. Yeah, I know. That's what ruined it. No, it was already going in a bad direction, and then I made it much worse. Mm-hmm. But at some point today... It's your blame. Just say, it's my fault.

Can't hear you, Jake. Let's find out how you hurt yourself this summer and make it all worth your while by getting you into our endless summer kegger just announced happening in Orange County, Newport. Nice place. The Hyatt, we're going to be there. Back Bay. Oh, too fancy for us. That's a swanky place. I've played there before.

I bet you have. I would imagine a lot of weddings probably take place there. We're going to be taking over that whole Back Bay area. It's going to do all the fun you could expect, including just some of the things that we have on our wish list. I don't know how many of these we'll be able to make happen, but if we can even get 10% of them, it'll be worth it. Yeah, I know. I mean, I imagine they've been pretty chill so far with us. Minus the name part.

Hey, Lita, you're on KROQ. Good morning. Hey, good morning. How are you doing? Okay. How'd you hurt yourself this summer? Wow. I went to practice shooting my rifle in the desert, and I popped a boobie.

What do you mean? You shot yourself in the boob? No. The recoil. Oh, the recoil. The recoil. Yeah, I thought I had it. I don't know.

But I'm going to not. It's just a pop. It's going to be over the next few days. I got it fixed already. I did get it fixed, actually. I hear it leaking in you right now. They need to pop the boob. So wait, let me get this straight.

You had implants. You have implants. and the recoil from the gun was so powerful that it actually popped one of your implants? Yes, that's right. The chief, hello? No, he can't tell if he's answering or not. She's speaking to me?

I can't hear her. We're having a conversation. Okay, just making sure. That's Lita. That's a good story. I hope that, I mean, it sounds like that's what happened, but sadly we've lost, Lita, is that what happened? It sounds like it, yeah, the recoil from the rifle

deflated my boobie. oh my god that is unbelievable i wonder how quickly you can get that fixed or if you just because then it leaks out right and you've got all the yeah uh-huh it took about a week for it to leak out and um i had to gather some money quickly and uh about two months later which a couple weeks ago i got it fixed so you were walking around for a period of time with a one only one boob yes wow that's amazing yes don't make fun of me i'll shoot you yeah i know Yes, I only have one boob right now, but I also have a rifle. So, you know, you can choose your nicknames carefully.

You can just walk away. All right, Lita, it's going to be tough to beat. That is a real summer injury right there. God, I'd love to have her at the party, huh? I mean, just to sit there while it's slowly leaking over the course of a week, I imagine that's probably painful. Allison, what happened to you this summer? Summer injuries?

Someone's going to be rewarded by getting that sweet handicapped parking spot to be able to hang out with us at the Endless Summer Kegger slash Clamslam. What's up? Hi, good morning. I cracked my knee open cleaning a slip and slide. not even going on the slip and slide but cleaning it no i was perfectly fine on the slip and slide it was only cleaning it after and then you slipped and then you slipped yeah i slipped straight down on top of my kneecap you know i have never thought those were cleaned ever

yeah i don't think anyone's wasting any time cleaning the slip and slide i thought it was clean while you're using self-cleaning yeah not when it's covered in grass yeah at the end you just give it like a power wash yeah i see because if you don't then next time you unwrap that thing There's like things living in it. Right, but also, the first person that goes down it, they kind of take care of it. That's what you used to think. I don't think I've ever cleaned one of those. Who's up first?

You're the one cleaning the slip and slide this time. That sucks. Yeah, I know. Crack your knee. Go down hard. I feel like that would take a long time to heal. By the way, when you tell someone, I slipped and hurt my, how'd you slip? On a slip and slide.

They go, well, it's right there in the name. See, you walked right into it, literally. Spoiler alert. You know, that's what it's called. All right, let me say hi to David. David, how'd you hurt yourself this summer? What's up? Well, I took the same journey you did.

I started working out, and I thought I was strong, so I hit up this random guy at a bar. I said, hey, you want to arm wrestle? And then he ended up pulling my pectoral major, so now I kind of have a chest injury. I can't even work out anymore. I saw a guy, a challenge guy at an arm wrestling thing one time, and I saw his entire bone get shattered.

The guy was such a big guy, and he just, that's the thing about these guys that are like real, actual real strong men. They will destroy regular mortals like us. And they have no mercy whatsoever. They don't know. I don't think they know their own strength, but boy, they do not like to be challenged. So you think that you're in good shape for you, and you're like, I'll challenge this guy to arm wrestling, and then he just snaps your pectoral muscle.

That's what's great about it, is that the guy started working out, and he was like, I'm going to start getting drunk and arm wrestling people. I'm ready for this. Yeah. I am so glad I don't have the confidence in myself to do that, because I know that I would lose any arm wrestling match. You know what? You should arm wrestle this guy at the thing.

Let me see what kind of shape he's in right now. What line is he? David, are you currently crippled now or no? You know, I think I've got one more week of recovery. That should be good. You've got to take them on. Now that you can't lift weights anymore because you messed up your pre-tour, did you go back to being completely out of shape again?

No, no. I did more and more leg workouts. Leg workouts. Who cares about those days? Skip them. Those are skippers. Dave, let's say hi to Dave. Dave, these are all people that hurt themselves,

and they would like to have one last hurrah. What's up, Dave? What happened to you? What's up, guys? I just want to say that I appreciate it because I'm the one that called for the Kager backyard party, $5 at the door on the goat line. Oh, nice.

I'm like, yeah. We're finally doing it. We're finally doing it. A good old school Kager. That's awesome. I appreciate that. But, yeah, over the summer, we were at the park playing baseball, and my cousin was swinging a metal baseball bat around,

cracked my head open, got seven staples, and I got a big old dent in my head now. Whoa. And that's a forever thing, right? That doesn't get better. That doesn't get better, and I got a big old dent now because of that. So, brain damage, or you don't know yet?

Well, sometimes I speak backwards a little bit now, but other than that, I think I'll be all right. Cool. And did you get knocked out completely? Did you go unconscious or no? Oh, yeah. I fell like a log straight to the ground. Bam.

Damn. Talking backwards is a good party trick, though. And were you catcher, or was he just practicing his swing in a place he shouldn't have been? Yeah, I was behind him, and he was just swinging it around, and it cracked me in the back of the head. where, like I said, I got seven staples and a big old dip in my head now.

You've told us that already. Do you want to say it backwards? Hold on, that's that guy. Man, I feel like it's been a very dangerous summer for people. That's that guy. Ryan, not a great story, but terrible result. What happened to you, Ryan? Mine's more stupid than anything.

I'm really... Come to the right place. Say hello to Klein. You can only hear in one ear. Yeah, I went to a theme park, a water park, and went around without a shirt on all day and did not put on any sunscreen. And I ended up sunburned so bad

I had to go to the hospital. Two bags of IV and a $500 copay. Oh, man. What are they? Like a blistering skin level sunburn? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was nasty.

And were you drunk? Oh, hold on one second. Were you drunk at the water park? He's on line six. Hey, go ahead. Sorry, Ryan. What's up? No, completely sober.

Wow, because I've seen people at a water park that are just wasted, and they're standing there, and they're starting to get red, and you're like, they have no idea what they're going to feel later, but sober, that's crazy. We have to pick one of these people to party with, which is not going to be easy, because they've all had great stories, and they all seem like they'd be a lot of fun to be around, minus maybe that sunburned guy. Amanda, what happened to you? hey good morning guys um so there is a swinger party that throws a huge pool party every year and i went to it of course you're trying to walk around look all sexy and i was getting in the pool and the steps are kind of weird and i flipped and just yanked a groin muscle oh man women have groin muscles yeah oh oh yeah it was yeah so i uh yanked on that pretty good which kind of ruined my fun for the night um but yeah you were at a swingers you were walking around a swingers party You fell in the pool and pulled your groin?

Yes. You did, period. That's correct. Just making sure. And that's like the most important part of your body to be in good shape at a swingers party. I mean, you were there to get... I mean, you still got an ass. Yeah.

Good point, Alan. And that was a bad night and a bad night, bad muscle to have pulled for that. Yeah. Yeah, how long does that take to heal? It's like, I was limping for like a week. It was kind of rough. I feel like the swingers, though, they're a very welcoming community. They'd be like, that's fine.

Get in this hammock. I'll still left you. Let's put a bag of ice over here and meet my friend Steve. All right, hold on one second. That's Amanda right there. God damn, she sounds fun too. Now that we have two people

with groin injuries pretty much because we let the clam slam lady in. It's just the groin. Change the name to the groin injury endless summer party. All right, we give the final word to Jasmine. We have to, Allie, we have to pick someone to come to this thing.

I want to let them all in. What happened to you, Jasmine? Hi, so I was at a pool party, and just walking around like normal, no shoes on. I ended up stepping on a bee, got stung, and then, I mean, we got the stinger out and everything, but I was trying so hard not to step on it. But apparently I did, because I ended up getting it infected and having to be, like, go to the ER the next day. Over a bee sting? Over a bee sting.

Yeah, but those ephors, like, sit around the pool, and they jump in the pool, and they drown in the pool, and then you try and save them and then you step on them and they sting you. But that's one thing, but then when it goes to the next level, it's always the infection that follows. That's the thing you have to be on the lookout for. Then you're like, I might lose a foot. Alright, Allie, we have to... Hold on, Crystal. Crystal, this is

really the last. I mean, you've got to have a crystal at a party. Go ahead, Crystal, what happened? Hi, so I had a child-free day and a husband-free day and I wanted to enjoy jumping in the pool. 15 minutes in, I jumped in the pool and I broke my toe and

And after breaking my toe, it happened to be the same week I put in my notice from work. So now I'm jobless and I take a little broken toe lift. And footless, yeah. And by the way, broken toe doesn't sound like one of those injuries that is that big in the scheme of things. But as a survivor of sausage toe, you know what that's like. As a man who deals with sausage toe on a daily basis, having a bust up toe, man, everything sucks. Yeah, just because you still walk funny and everyone laughs at you. We have to ponder a lot of the stories here.

And a lot of the text line we haven't even gotten to yet. So let's give you the appropriate song right now, which is Jimmy World Pain, while we talk about these injuries and come back and announce who's going to be joining us at the Endless Summer Kegger Slash Clam Slam. And that is after this. I'm K-Rock.