Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - The Bud Light Bros Top Excuses to get Out of Work

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Special announcement for all of you fans of Blink-182. There is a pop-up that is taking place starting today through the 3rd of July.

And this is on Fairfax to celebrate the anniversary of one of the finest albums that ever was and ever will be. Take off your pants and jacket. It's an anniversary with Complex. It's a pop-up and it's a full-on experience that is taking place to celebrate, I guess, the 182nd day of the year. I didn't realize that that was now. But congratulations and welcome to your anniversary of all things Blink-182 and the fine album known as Take Off Your Pants and Jacket. Nice. Happening details on KROQ Socials. I think it's somewhere on Fairfax.

And it's taking place today only for the next few days. All right. Listen, the Bud Light Bros, as you know, are future celebrities. At the current time, they're just a couple of brothers that live together and drink a ton of Bud Light. Not brothers. Cousins. Are they cousins? I think they're cousins.

We're not exactly sure if they're even related. They're not brothers? This was a revelation to me as well. Yeah, when we were trying to get one of them laid and we did help one of them lose their virginity this year, which I think is also one of the finest things we did. If you think about all the nice things we've done for people. I know currently we're trying to find Blind Charlie a working kidney. But, I mean, even if we get him the working kidney, I still think the nicest thing we ever did was get one of the Bud Light brothers laid.

And I think we discovered that he's pretty asexual. But he did have sex with a trucker woman. Yeah, a trucker lady listened to the show. And that was really cool of us to do that and cool for him, I think. And cool for her to do. Cool for her. And she said she enjoyed it. And, you know, it was a win-win-win for everyone except for the lawyers here that made us sit through a lot of meetings afterwards.

Regardless, the Bud Light bros have committed to being YouTube superstars. And that is why they have released another list, Allie. Well, they all say it's consistency when it comes to YouTube. Got to just keep doing it. And they will be the next Mr. Beast. Mark my words. Currently, it's a slow build, but also it was from Mr. Beast. And they do look like beasts.

And the last video they did was about the top breakfast cereals ever. But now they have one that I think is much more relatable for all of us. And this is according to these guys that have been able to, believe it or not, hold down multiple jobs. These are the top five excuses that you can use if you plan on not going to work. And it only takes one video for it to go viral, dude. And these guys are going to be an instant sensation. Instant overnight sensation. And people will say, how have we never heard of these guys before?

And you'll say, oh, I used to hear them on Klein Alley Show. I found them to be mid at best. So how long did it take them to get through these five excuses? This video was about 21 minutes long. And they have personal experiences with, you know, calling off work. So they give a couple of examples of each, you know, way to get off work. The first one is in Eclipse are a little longer this time around because I want you. This is going to be a master class in telling a story and lying and getting your point across.

and you have to pay close attention because the subtle nuances here that they're going to teach you will definitely get you off of work. At number one is fake an element and this is how they want you to do that. Anytime you mention this, nine times out of ten,

the person on the other line is going to be like, ooh, TMI, and just be like, I'll mark you down, homie. I'll let them know. And that is explosive diarrhea. You just like going like,

You know what? I've been on the toilet since like midnight and my butthole sore or the best way to do is when Even if you're not using the bathroom go in a bathroom Call from there and the echo from being in the bathroom will help that out, too If you're seriously committed to the bit, you know, let out a couple farts I got you know what? I gotta let you go cuz I'm about to get on this toilet again And they'll be like, get out of here. Go, go, go. I don't want to hear that s**t.

So there you go. Explosive diarrhea. Jake's offended as a guy who has explosive diarrhea. My culture's not your costume. Jake has to deal with that on a daily basis. Not an excuse, but for real. That's great. These are the top five excuses that you can use to get out of going to work.

And listen, let's be honest. Everyone can use some time off over the summer. Maybe you don't have any time off. Maybe you have a job that forces you to go in unless you're, quote, taking a sick day. so you need your excuses on the ready and the bud light bros have broken down at least according to them the greatest collection of excuses you could use and you know what put these away even if you just stockpile them for later maybe you save them for the holidays you'll need these at one point they prefaced the video by saying that the reason they decided to put this out is because the world

cup's going on so you're going to want to take some time to watch the games this is great especially now that the knockout round has started all right so getting a little bit more intense and they matter a little bit more at number two um they uh are going to give an example of uh getting out of work using car troubles as an excuse you know you just call and be the a-fool you know what my uh my car ain't starting it's messing with me i don't know what's going on uh i hear rumbling i it just goes you don't want to turn over i don't know what it is it could be the battery it could be the alternator it'll be a starter the engine the carburetor I don't know what's going on.

I need professional help. I need professional help. That is a fact right there. That is the truest thing they've said. Right. You just start listing off all the parts of a car. Carburetor, transmission, engine, wheel. And most people say, all right, just figure it out and we'll see you in here.

I mean, listen, people use that excuse. How many people have not made it in here for car? I think all of us. Every single person at some point. Ginger Justin just missed a day. Even today. He's not in today. He's working from home today because his car is, quote, not working anymore.

He mentioned carburetor or something, and then I tuned him out. So they're right. You list enough car parts, eventually the person you're giving the excuse to is going to tune you out. People don't like hearing about your medical problems or your car problems. They really don't. They really do tune you out as soon as you start talking about it. Now, I can't believe they came up with three other excuses because to me, we've always said explosive diarrhea is one of the big ones. You can always use that.

We've all used it. And then car problems is the other big one. So the fact they came up with three other ones, I would imagine death in the family has got to be on the list, right? It is on the list. Not yet, though. Number three, personal matters. And they give a great example here. Hey, man, I got a I got a lawyer meeting in downtown L.A. I didn't know about it. If I don't go, I could be facing some kind of criminal charges. Oh, Jesus. And they're like, what are you talking about? Hey, look, man, my lawyer advised me that I can't even talk to you about this.

He told me to plead the fifth. You know, this is too much information. All you've got to know is I've got a meeting in downtown, and I've got to be there, and I can't be at work. He's got a baby mama truck. I'm not liable to say. I feel like these excuses are coming a little too easy. Definitely do that snap. Yeah, I think it's better if you have a guy on your side going, mm-hmm. That's right.

You need to have your own hype man when you call to give that excuse. All right, you have a lawyer meeting in downtown L.A. Great excuse. I'll have major legal problems if I don't attend, but I can't tell you about it. It'll raise a lot of red flags. I should also point out, the Bud Light Bros, I think, have been through multiple jobs this year alone. Oh, yeah, for sure. And I'm sure they've used all these excuses multiple times.

Probably. That's the best part of getting a new job is you get to reset the excuse clock. At number four, family emergency and death in the family. And the way Chris sets this up is that he was working at 24 Hour Fitness a long time ago. He was working at 24 Hour Fitness. Yeah. And he was just, this was like his third day on the job, and he just didn't feel like going in. And he just decided to.

Was he working as a medicine ball? Yeah. I think I should work at a place called Zero Hour Fitness. And he decided to just make up this story on the fly, and you are not going to believe this. I was working at 24 Hour Fitness at this time. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to make it work today, big dog. He's like, oh, what's going on?

And I'm like, hey, man, I don't even know how to say this, but my cousin just got in a car wreck in Tijuana, Mexico, and I got to go identify the body. What? And he was like, oh, my God, are you serious? I'm like, yeah, man, I'm dead serious. He's like, wow, I don't even know what to say. I'm like, I don't even know why I'm calling you, bro.

I'm supposed to be on the freeway right now. I'm supposed to be on the phone going down to identify his body. I want to show you how responsible I am. Exactly. But he was just like, hey, man, take however much time you need. You know that. I got off the phone. And I'm like, where did that even come from?

I'm like, I'm so good at improv. Hell yeah. So once again, that's a great excuse to use. Got to go identify a body in Tijuana. I love that you take the excuse and then you times 10. Yeah. You know? Death in the family, car accident.

But I have to go identify the body in Tijuana. I shouldn't even be on the phone with you now. I should be on the five. The last example they give, they were surprised because they witnessed this. I think Chris was working with a crew, and one of his members used this excuse, and he was shocked that this worked. And at number five, pet emergency. Yeah, this fool left, and, of course, he told, like, the superiors above and everything,

the general manager and all that. And then the next day, the general manager comes up to me, and he's like, hey, I'm going to need you to, you know, be the lead around here for the next three days. Great heads. I was like, why? And he's like, you know, homie over here lost his dog, and he said he needs like three, four days to cope with it or something. I was like, God damn, that works?

I'm over here using cousins. All you got to do is make up a chihuahua, and you get the time off. All right, there you have it. Another home run from the Bud Light Bros. They claim that our show inspired them to step in front of the camera. And I don't know if that's a good service or a bad service for society, but I think it's a win for us all. I think this is the best video they've done.

I think it's one of their finest ones. And I think it's good that they quit at five because normally they would have gone top 50. We'll take a quick break. When we get back, it's your time to shine. Why do you currently not have all your fingers? That is the question. As we get into the final week

for many people to have 10 fingers, firework day is on Saturday. A lot of people lighting them off. I heard a ton of them last night where I am. I'm sure you're all hearing them. So the question is, why do you not have 10 fingers right now? Your stories could result in you winning some Monster Jam tickets next at 800-520-1067.

Dial slowly with those 9, 7, 4, 3, 2, 1 fingers. Call next.