Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - The Dank Tank

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Okay, Rock, we are Klein Alley Show up for grabs right now.

Access to the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. Slightly Stupid will be there. You should be there as well. And all we need from you is your ideas as we officially open up a new round of the Dank Tank. Just to go ahead and remind you, because everyone's short-term memory is fried. Thanks a lot, Weed. Here are some of the many ideas we've received over the years. Good morning, guys.

I think, or I used to think, a brilliant idea was burrito tape. I hated going to Chipotle, and, you know, you take a bite, and it all falls apart. So I was thinking translucent, flavorless tape that you could use on your burritos, on overstuffed tacos, on, like, a messy burger. Brilliant. That guy calls his own idea brilliant for burrito tape. I still don't believe it exists, but he did bring that to us a few months back in the dank tank. I think the technology of making that, it has to be highly adhesive but flavorless and edible. I think that's tough to do.

Someone pointed out you could just do double tortilla, and that would solve that problem. Or use other pieces. Yeah, but that's too much tortilla. Yeah, I agree. It does change the ratio. Then there was this idea. So what if they had cereals mixed with other cereals? So my idea is for a hoodie, like a sweater, and the top of your sweater has a hole for the woman's ponytail.

Okay, picture this. picture, instead of an ice cream truck, you'd have a beer truck coming around to the neighborhood and to the park, and then you see the parent running out to go get their sips, their beers. So clearly there is no such thing as a bad idea. We will

take yours now at 800-520-1067. Invest our actual money into the ideas we like and tickets so you can officially come and hang with us at the Endless Summer of Kegger if you are on the Dank Tank. Here we go. My idea is called the Blunt Etiquette Book. Lego or Kinect set that you can

put together, and you've got your pipe or ball. It's called the Dinkle Meter. Bug repellent, if they could make it smokable. Instead of having a tree in your mirror, we're going to have, like, weed leaves hanging, bro. It's glycine for your mouth. We should put popcorn out of business and start serving mac and cheese.

All right, first idea out of the gate today, Allie, is from Sky, listening right now on Line 4. Good morning, Sky. Welcome to KROQ 800-520-1067. You're in the Dank Tank. Officially pitch away. Hi, Sweet Divs. Sweet Divs.

My idea is grocery store daycare. Oh, for your kids. So you just drop them off at like a little play place and do your shopping? Yeah. Isn't that what that little area is with all the expired stuff in the back? I know that rack well. It's right by the bathrooms. Yeah, you just go ahead and leave them back there.

Why don't you go ahead and alphabetize these expired snacks? Just the kitchen doors? Yeah, yeah. So don't go back there. That's where the butcher is. But, you know, I sit right here. Interesting concept. You could also put them in that little beer walk-in closet thing.

Oh, that's a good idea, too. You keep them, especially in these hot days. Yeah. All right, so you say add some sort of a... Like a pen. Like a valet, a kid valet at a grocery store. Yeah, they just get so bored and frustrated, and I'm just like, I just want to put you somewhere

so I can do my shopping in peace. I know. And then I'll pick you up. It's also annoying because anything they ever want to grab is something that we just... They're such suckers for the end of the aisle. Oh, man, and they know. Those stores are smart.

They put all that stuff there knowing it's going to be like... Let's put all these Hot Wheels right over here. Right, what can I do to shut this kid up? Okay, go ahead and throw it in the car. Well, and then a kid is constantly talking at you while you're looking at an aisle and trying to make a very important decision, you know, about which soups and pastas you want to buy. It's good stuff.

All right, hold on one second. Sky brings us the grocery store daycare. The idea is could be good, could be bad. We say hi to Noah on KROQ. Welcome to the Dank Tank. Noah, what do you got for us? hey so instead of a waymo i was thinking like weed mo they're green self-driven cars that everybody knows you're getting high in it just looping snoop dogg and cypress hill all the time

and then you would have like a fast pass through del taco when you're in this safe self-driven weed car oh wow so this is not to deliver you weed it's for you to just get in hot box just hot box and cruise around and it's painted green so everybody already knows you're high, so when you pull into Del Taco, they're just like, go for it, man. Smart idea. That's a great idea. It's a custom-made, you know, because we are in the world of the driverless technology. That's only going to continue, so now you have specific ones.

You don't necessarily have anywhere you need to go, but it's just you want to pick up, and maybe you have an option. Well, smoking weed and driving, I mean, it was such a great part of it. Well, they have those new Waybos, the vans, though. Imagine that. You could get in there with five or six strangers or friends. You could just go for a little smoke sesh, drive you around the beach. No one's got to get high and drive, and then you can, it'll know right away to take you to, as you said, like a Del Taco.

It's great. So, but is there any legal problem with that? Like, you can't drive while you're high, but you can be in a car, can't you? I don't think there would be. They would be upset if you, like, I don't, if you were to smoke weed in a regular way, now, I think one of those humans would jump on and be like, hey, cut it out. Like, we see you, because they're spying on you. Oh, really? They're watching you? Oh, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, they have eyes on you. I mean, it says that. Yeah, they'll tell you stuff. So if you were to, like, hook up in the back of the Waymo, it would stop the Waymo? Yeah, you should test it out and see. I will. Yeah.

Interesting. So if you're, like, snorting coke back there or doing illegal stuff, they'll stop the ride? It'll tell you, and I think it says it can use any sort of footage against you for criminal reasons. Cool. Yeah, but I know that they're, like, eavesdropping in on you, and they are watching. I think that's very clear. NARC car. It's a NARC car.

Yeah, shut up, NARC car. One, you need those cameras. I'm sure you can cover up. It's the Dank Tank. Ideas. High profit. We say good morning now to Berkeley. Hi, Berkeley.

You're on KROQ. How goes it? So my idea, you know how there's full self-driving Teslas all over the road, and most people like to avoid them because they're either slamming on their brakes or cutting in front of them. So I like to have a blue status bar on the back of all full self-driving Teslas that lights up so when we know they're full self-driving, we can just avoid them. Yeah, that's great.

Like a cab that's open has that light on top. It's so light to let people know this one's driving itself right now. Yeah, that's a great idea. It's like the student driver sticker. Let me say that to John. You're on the Dank Tank. John, any idea is welcome. We will pick our favorite and instantly invite you to the endless summer of kegger.

What's up, John? Yeah, what's up? Good morning, Sweet Divots, everyone. Sweet Divots. So my idea is a protein-infused vape. Oh, Klein loves it. You know, there is a three-second period in the day where I'm not getting my protein in, and I could. You're only at 300 grams.

I could vape in the rest of it. They figured out how to protein everything. Why have they not figured out how to protein vape? Vape with protein. And why stop at protein? Why not go creatine? You go a whole thing. It's a whole line of smokable.

At least you don't have to taste that powder taste. Jake tells me, and you want to talk about what a weirdo this guy is, he doesn't even put, he takes electrolyte powder. He doesn't put it in water and let it dissolve and drink it. He just puts the powder packet right in his mouth and swallows it. It's not even a packet. It's a scoop. I just put a scoop of the stuff into my mouth. I mean, what a weirdo he is, huh?

Yeah, but also, Vin, it just sucks for like 30 seconds. It doesn't suck for the entire time you're drinking the water. It actually doesn't suck at all. I like it. Yeah, but Allie, to drink a bottle of water, Omer drinks nine gallons of water a day. To drink a bottle of water takes no time at all. You put a little scoop of powder in there. Yeah, but then your water's salty.

It's gross. All right, so Jake just puts a giant scoop on his tongue and swallows it whole. He says that 30 seconds when he's trying to take it down is difficult. I like it. He's kind of tanking now, ladies. Yeah, Jake is kind of off the market, so watch out. Let me say hi to Gus. Gus, you're on the Dank Tank.

Good morning. You know, if we did, I had an idea of replacing the inside of chapsticks and glue sticks with butter. Do tell. and just make making toast a lot easier and it just goes up and down like your chapstick does and then you just apply it whenever well this is actually i actually think that's great a great idea is that it's like the same technology we have for chapstick like those big tube glue stick things where you just kind of roll it up and then you go up and down on your bread and you do it use it with for your butter for spreading purposes pan you just spread it on the pan originally i

I thought he was talking about putting butter on your lips all day, which I thought was a great idea, too. We already were in. Yeah, I was like, that's a good idea. And now I realize he's actually talking about putting it on bread. Yeah, but I thought you were also talking about just, like, butter on the go. Like, if you're in a situation where you have bread but no butter, then you have this. Well, the thing about Jake, he had that whole tantrum in the casino because he couldn't get butter. He could have avoided it with chapstick butter.

I tried to get my own goddamn butter, and they wouldn't let me. All right, Gus, that's maybe the best idea yet, which is not saying much for this crop of ideas in the Dank Tank. We need to come up with a better name than just chapstick butter. Right. Yeah, but that's for the... It's for the marketing department to think about. We're just here to get the idea. Samuel, you're on KROQ.

Good morning. Hey, good morning, sweet knockers. Sweet knockers to you, good sir. Hey, so it's summertime, it's hot, and everyone's out by the water. But, you know, sometimes you don't have a canoe. So I'm going to be selling your own build, your own canoe set. That everyone would just bring to the beach? Yeah, you just keep it in the back of your car, you know, or truck, whatever.

and it's pretty much a chicken wire. You make the frame of the canoe and then you put a little saran wrap around it. Saran wrap?

Saran wrap, yeah. Is it going to float? It's not sound. Don't cut this guy off. He's in the middle of his pitch. Yeah, what's the important part?

It's the flex seal or rip-off version of it. You feel all the way around the canoe and then it floats like a boat. Have you actually made one of these before?

No, I've been trying to for 10 years Okay I mean, how long is it going to take For us to build this makeshift canoe? 11 years If you want to go in a canoe 11 years from today We've got the kit for you I mean, they have inflatable canoes and kayaks everywhere

This guy's got chicken wire, saran wrap And flex sealant And he's still not sure And what is the situation where you need this? Like he says, hot days like today 11 years from now So this is not for emergencies? This is just recreational canoe use?

Yeah, I think he's saying for fun. I thought it was like an emergency. Is this a fun item or is this an emergency item, Saul? It's a fun item and, you know, you start now and you can start building it. It's great. I'm only asking for $1 million. Oh, my God. For just chicken wire and saran wrap?

I think it's a good deal. The fact that you go through that much effort just for fun, not out of, like, starvation or necessity. Yes, Pantyhose Greg, you're on KROQ. Good morning. Did he fall asleep? I think so. I just heard, wah. Pantyhose Greg, good morning.

Oh, hey. Hey. Hey, you guys. What's up? Hey, how are you doing? Sorry, are we bothering you? You called us. Yeah, I was just dozing off here.

Yeah, my high idea is a good one, man. What about, like, you run the washing machine, and when it's done, you don't touch it, But then the dryer starts. It's really fabulous. They have that. That exists. Yeah, I think Ginger Justin has one.

Yeah, that's cool. I'm really jealous of that thing. That technology already exists, man. Because picking up the wet clothes and then you always drop stuff on the way. And it's just, there's no not awkward way to do it. They have one of these things. I've seen it. I think Europe was on this trend earlier than and now it's finally here or something.

Yeah, but I don't think it dries stuff all the way. But none of the dryers do anymore. Sorry, man. Are you guys going to find me a hot little number so I can smoke out with a chick? I thought you were gay. Well, gay and some, you know, gay plus it's called. Gay plus? I've never heard of this. Gay plus plus.

Oh, gay plus is the newest. It's like you're gay in some areas, but plus one or two in other areas. It's called gay plus. Move over, Disney plus. I can't solve this riddle, but congratulations, Greg, on that. It's exciting that you came out as gay plus on our show. You get a gay plus. One final person gets an idea.

And let's say hi to Jasmine on KROQ, and then we have to decide a winner, Allie. Go ahead. Jasmine, this has been ridiculous enough. It is the Dank Tank. It is on KROQ, oftentimes imitated, never quite duplicated. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

So my idea is exercises to slim down your neck. Oh, my gosh. How would that happen? Who could possibly use that? Klein needs to know. I could think of one person that definitely needs it. Right. Well, let's not all say the name at once.

What did you, Klein? What is the, do you have an actual exercise that can actually help slim your neck down or no? I mean, I'm trying to think of some and, yeah, because I think you might need it. Right. Thank you. That's great. I'm thinking of a noose. It's great when you come up with an idea that you just thought of one minute ago.

All right, Allie, we've heard some ideas now. They're not all the best. Some of them are. We didn't even get to some of the ones on the text line, like a fast track pass for the streets, not just for the freeway. Wow, great idea. So there's certain lanes that you can go in, like a bus lane. Oh, my God. But fast track for you.

Who doesn't know? Could you imagine that on, like, Highland? Yeah, but once again, as soon as that lane became a special lane, it would suck, too. Totally. It's just like the high occupancy vehicle lane sucks now on the, sometimes it's the slowest one. I know. And then it's like tricks you and then it's fast at first and then it backs up and you're

stuck there. We've heard quite a few ideas. Only one of them will win access to our endless summer kegger. Who do we want to drink with? Which one stood out to you as the best one? You know, for me, it's between Chapstick Butter and Fun Canoe. Yeah. Those are my two favorites.

Those are the strong ones. Maybe not the best ideas in reality, but I do like the fact that Guy Cawley's been working on this canoe for 10 years plus and still only has chicken wire saran wrap. He didn't really think it through all the way. I hope he has a significant other that's like damn it again with the canoe.

Will you give up the project? Here's the deal. Since we are doing this endless summer kegger right by the water, I think that he's invited, but he has to have a prototype. He has to bring his prototype. Vanessa, that's the deal. That's the man who wins the access to the endless summer kegger. It's whoever gave us that

canoe idea, but he has to get his And sometimes you need that, you've got to light a fire under these guys. Yeah, we did it in five years. Yeah, so he's got another couple, he's got two weeks to finish this prototype, and then we're going to go test it out in the water. Yeah, well, I'm sure you, you know, you had Paiwine as an idea, and then when you actually got Shark Tank, it was like, whoa, we've got to kick everything in the high air. Now we've really got to make something happen.

These guys are going to say no in front of millions of people. They've got to be ready. They've got to be ready for this rejection on a massive scale. And that can be you, Canoe Guy. So, all right, tell that guy the good news and pick a few other people that called in. Let's invite them as well. We are Klein Alley Show, and this is KROQ.