Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - The Dumb-Off Finale! (FULL SHOW 8/21)

Episode Date: August 21, 2026

We spared no expense for the final round of the dumb off today. And by that we mean we spent no money at all, but we did have brand new songs, customized intros, and a brand new shiny sash for the winner! The finals came down to Vanessa, Johnny, and Ally. Vanessa was at a disadvantage because she has a back-to-school cold, but at the end of it all the results, as usual, were contested. Ally got a unique request for an upcoming wedding, which brought up the question: how big of a gift do you get for a wedding you spent tons of money to attend? We heard some highly disturbing stories during our interactive Box of Shame today. We heard from a woman who stole laughing gas from her dental office, a lady who ran over her mom's dog and never told her, and a guy who crapped his pants at LAX. But haven't we all?

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. What's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet damn it, Stink, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. Oh, my God. Go away, coyote.

Oh, wow. Woo-hoo. I'm going to be eggless. That's a big bird, man. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday. No one cares about Wednesday. Eggs. Thursday.

Forget that. Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah, I'm pasty. Are you ready for the rear end? Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash. Thursday, Friday, forget about that.

Friday, Sunday, Wednesday. Sunday, sleeping in. Eating brunch. There's a lot of weird stuff in my underwear these days. Saggy ball freaks. Doot, doot, doot, dootin'. Whatever, you stupid ass. it's the future it's the more no menender

Boobies! Ass. Ass? It always comes back to ass. How is it always about ass? It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7. KROQ FM in HD Pasadena.

Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to your weekend. It's Friday here at KROQ and everywhere else. I got it.

Friday. Except Japan where we're heading. It's already Saturday there. That's right. That's how it works. We are Klein Alley Show. This is KROQ. A lot of people asking us if we're really doing the show from Japan.

We don't know, but we're pretty sure that we had a verbal contract with Richard Pink who said that we will go out there for the big unveiling of the Hamdogger in Japan. Well, we're manifesting. If we keep talking about it, it will happen. It is done. We're putting it out in the universe so that we can go to Tokyo. It's funny because I can only imagine if it actually does end up happening, I'm going to be so devastated.

They're like, here's the plans. We're like, God, are you serious? We have to do this now? A lot of things we do on the show, we talk about how we really want to do them. And then when it finally comes time to doing them, we're like, oh, why? Such a 13-hour flight? 15 hours? I don't know.

I'm not looking forward to any of it. So I'm going to manifest the other direction. Let's see who's more powerful at the manifestation. Let's go to Cabo, huh? Oh, man. Where is there a Pink's in Cabo? Open a Pink's somewhere convenient to us, please. I actually would be really upset if we did end up going because I've always wanted to go to Japan.

And it would be so cruel that I have to go when I can't have sushi. Oh, that'd be so hilarious. Oh, man. That's why we should do it. Allie, a pregnant woman goes to Japan and can't eat sushi? I mean, it's all the best sushi in the whole world and I can't eat it? It'd be funny if we went and all we could eat was Pink's. We made a deal.

I can't eat hot dogs either. I can't eat any of it. You'll eat half of the ham dog. That's tough for you. Well, anyway, we've got a decent show to get into today. If you call, we hope to get you on the air. We hope to give you tickets. Although we may not get your names right,

and this became a huge sticking point in yesterday's post-show meeting. But apparently, once again, as I thought, Allie, people seem to enjoy when names get butchered on the airwaves with K-Rock. Yeah, I just got done listening to the repeat of today's episode. And, man, I love it when they give you guys the wrong name. When Johnny and Vanessa just give you guys the wrong name. The whole Saul, Will thing, that was hysterical, man. But I always crack up when I hear those **** because you and Allie are on the phone, like, saying the name wrong.

And just looking back there at them, like, the **** you guys gave us the wrong name. And these two dudes are back there like little kids pointing at each other like, no, no, it wasn't him, it was me. You know, they rarely take accountability when they do that. But, man, that's one of the things that you guys should do, end-of-the-year bloopers of them giving you guys wrong names, because that part makes the show hysterical. We don't have to wait for the end of the year for that, sir. That'll probably happen later today during the live show, so get ready for that. Well, we have done a name butcher montage many times, because it's not just them in the back. Sometimes it is Klein mispronouncing a very clear name.

So there's a number of reasons why, but there is definitely some kind of a folder being created for this. Once again, the amount of times in different ways that Tanya has been spelled for me over the years is crazy, because that is one of those names. I get a Tania, I get a Tanana, and by the way, I know Tanya, how to spell it, but someone back there, we got to do like, I think we need to go back to remedial reading and spelling the whole show or something. Well, I've seen it spelled on the call screen, or T-A-N-I-A, and you're like, Tania? Yeah. And I'm like, this is how you spell Tanya.

Tanya is with a Y. Tanya is with a Y, Allie. T-O-N-Y-A. Tanya. My old classmate used to be T-A-N-Y-A. Yeah, that's right, because that's how you spell it. So I think Vanessa's the one who's given me the Tania names a lot. And I've never been right.

We've had zero Tania. Sometimes, if it's in their color ID, I can't get it wrong, because it's part of their color ID. In the history of this show, we've received calls from zero people birthnamed Tania. None of them. But I've probably said hello Tania a thousand times on the show. I can't figure it out. And one day, a Tania will call, and you will call her Tania. Oh, please name your baby Tania.

If your name is Tania, please call the show today so I can butcher your name or get it right for a change. We have the finals of the Dumb Off coming up later this morning. And more importantly, $500 of Ali's cash, which could be yours. If you're listening now or just waking up, get ready for some Ali Knows the News. $500 Friday is finally here. There's a festival happening here tomorrow at Brookside the Rose Bowl. It's called Just Like Heaven. Strokes will be there.

Also, well, there's a ton of bands. I'm not going to go over the whole list. Chromio and LCD Sound System. And the complete lineup is posted. More importantly, we have your tickets. Last chance to win those tickets later this morning from us. So if you're looking for something to do tomorrow, we will make that happen for you. If you're interested in coming to our Endless Summer Kegger,

that's a totally different thing that's happening on September 3rd as we say goodbye summer. But also summer will continue with Slightly Stupid, us and you, and a bunch of other things. And people are starting to get desperate even though it's not happening for a few weeks. Good morning. Sweet divots, everyone. Hey, I'm just catching up on the podcast. And, you know, you guys still have spots to give away for the, you know, the hangout and everything. and you guys are talking about, you know, like,

oh, what can we do to, you know, have people win tickets? You don't have to do it for this, but even, like, just future events in general or contests, true fans should be able to memorize your guys' intro. My boyfriend, every time we listen to the podcast, the very first thing we do is we mouth the words to it. I think you guys should give a spot to anybody that can successfully recreate the intro.

I don't know. Just an idea. Love you guys. She's saying priority. Love you, too. She's saying priority for anyone who's a true fan and knows the show so well that they know every single word in the intro to the show. That is interesting, and it's crazy that you would waste your time on that. Yeah, but I guess you hear it enough. But you should be rewarded. But instead, we're going to make it easy for everyone today

because at any point during the show, and this will happen at least four times this morning, you will hear a good old-fashioned kegger chug chant. It'll sound like this. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. And that's what we'll be yelling to Vanessa as she does her first ever keg stand at the Endless Summer Kegger. So if you would like to win your way in today and you are not looking forward to playing a game or anything like that, you just have to listen for the show. And when you hear the random chug chant that could happen during a song or during something we're saying,

or if we drown out one of Allie's boring stories, just remember to call immediately when you hear this. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. And so we can get you to the endless summer kegger happening at Newport Beach on September 3rd with Slightly Stupid and Us. Okay, that'll be happening throughout the morning multiple times, so be ready to listen and call. Right now, though, if you know a thing or two about the news and want to take Allie's money, nothing would put her in a worse mood this morning. I mean, you got the dumb off to look forward to. That's already going to put me in a bad mood. Someone's going to wear the sash of stupidity for an entire year, which is not a fun, terrible way to spend your next year.

But to lose $500 on top of that. Oh, that's rough. And then if I do lose, Klein will buy Vanessa and Johnny breakfast. Right. So keep in mind, it's a lot on the line. Everyone's rooting against me. If you would like to call, play and win, now is the time to give us a call at 800-520-1067. I've got five questions about things happening in the news.

Score better than Allie. Get paid and watch people on the show eat after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are Klein Allie Show. Klein! Allie! You know what time it is? It's just that time It's Friday

Not any Friday It's $500 Friday $500 could be yours in moments If you do better than Allie answering some questions about the news If you're not on the phone playing with us Couldn't get through or just don't care enough Let's see how you would have done Had you been on the hot seat battling Allie for $500 of her own money

She's got a pregnancy brain She has an early in the morning brain I don't think she's Well you're in the middle of eating something Doesn't this look delicious? Yeah, it looks good. Thank you. Thanks.

Let's say hi now to a lot of contestants on the phone right now that would like to play the game. And look, if $500 is on the line, take a few minutes and just kind of review stuff. Study up a little bit. Yeah, but no cheating. Make it worth your while. No cheating. Hey, is this Saul? No, it's Will.

W-I-L-L. You've got to be kidding me. You've got to be kidding me. Not the same guy from yesterday though Not the same guy The guy yesterday was Saul And you're telling me your name is Will My name is Will sir

Has anyone gotten these two names straight God damn It's impossible to tell them apart Allie's going to leave the KROQ studios now Let's say hi to Will From MidCity who would like to play the game Allie's out Will is on the air

People are fighting in the back Hold on one second. Your round officially begins. No cheating. Let's go. Allie knows the news. We have an all-new, highest-grossing, R-rated movie of all time. What movie is it? That would be The Odyssey. Question number two.

There is a New World's oldest person, Happy Birthday to Ethel, who turned exactly how old today? 117. With question number three, sadly, tragically, a plane crash took place yesterday, killing all eight on board. What state did this plane crash happen in? Alaska. Question four. Oh, man, this guy's on a tear right now.

Saul and or Will, you are crushing it. Question four, over 4,500 local jobs in Southern California could go away if what merger goes through? That would be the Warner Brothers Paramount merger. Question number five, potentially a clean sweep. Hershey's is saying to get ready for Halloween this year. They're going to be doing more savory treats as opposed to the sweets, which is not going to make kids happy. What is at least one item that they claim that they're ramping up production on

this year more than ever before? Pumpkin spice Kit Kats. Pumpkin spice Kit Kats. All right, well, you stumbled at the end there. But a good round for you, Will, and let's bring Allie in. and we'll score it together. Four out of five should be enough to win the money. Let's find out.

Allie, this guy, Will, is... His name's Saul. Excuse me. Saul is no dummy. Whatever. And he is here to take your money. He played the game like a true champion. I want to warn you going into it.

Okay. Things will be tough for you. Question one. We have a new highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time. Yes, we do. What is that name of that movie? I believe it is the movie I saw by myself with three other seniors.

because I had to pay the matinee price, and that would be the Odyssey. Okay, sad way to answer the question, but that is the correct answer, the Odyssey. He got that as well. Damn it. Tied up, one one after one. We go to question number two now. Allie knows the news, $500 Friday, question two. We have a new world's oldest person.

Happy, happy birthday to Ethel, who turned exactly how old today? Gee, uh, God, 111? 111 is a good guess. I'll tell you who had a better guess. No. A man by the name of Will Andor Sol, who said 117, and that is the correct answer. What? Happy 117th birthday.

He got it on the number. So he goes up one as we go to question number three right now. A plane crash happened yesterday. Tragically, all eight people on board died in what state? Fun. Let's go with Nebraska. Oh, my God. I got this.

Wow. You're done, son. She can't win. She can't win. Mathematically, she has been eliminated. What? He got it right. Wait, can I change my answer?

No. What the hell? Why not? North Dakota. You got it. The correct answer is Alaska. He got that right. Allie did not.

Damn. So we go to question number four now. God damn. Over 4,500 local jobs could go away if what merger takes place? That would be Paramount and Warner Brothers. He got that as well. That is the right answer. So he's up two now going into this final question.

And mathematically, you are done. But here we go. Let's give it to you anyway. Hershey's says that this year they're going to create more savory snacks because they think that people are eating healthier, etc. What is one of the items they claim that they're going to be making more of this year than ever before? Because it's healthy? Because it's not candy. I don't know either.

You stay out of this. We're just killing time at this point. Let's just go with the pretzels. Okay, yeah. They're going to do more pretzels, more cheese puffs, and more some other crap that no one wants. Everyone wants cheese puffs. What are you talking about? Yeah, they'd rather have candy.

Let's be honest. They'd rather have candy. But it doesn't matter. He had a stupid guess about pumpkin spice Kit Kats. But, hey, at the end of it all, a huge $500 Friday payout for Saul and Will. And who do I make the check out to? Congratulations. You.

From Mid-City, you are a champion. What a way to start the weekend. Allie, what must you shamefully admit? It's not every week we get ourselves a $500 winner on KROQ out of the gate. My name is Allie, and Will and Saul both know the news. Congratulations, Will. I got my breakfast now. Hey, you know what?

Yeah, do we serve? Because of Saul, does that mean we get breakfast now? All right, everyone calm down. I want breakfast. Thank you, Saul. Somehow, Allie lost and I lost, and I don't know how that worked out. Woo-hoo, loser, bros. Let's order some breakfast, everyone.

Yes. We get breakfast. This is Dominic Fike on KROQ. Congratulations. Already a big $500 winner this morning. We're just getting started. If you want tickets to Just Like Heaven or would like to join us at the Endless Summer Kegger, you'll have those chances throughout the morning today, and all you've got to do

is keep listening and keep the show on. You can listen on the app, listen on the go, whatever, or on the radio, like the good Lord intended. A lot of people have a lot of thoughts about the way we do Allie Knows the News here. And this whole, I was trying to get better contestants, so I tried to challenge Johnny and Vanessa to find better people to call and play. And I said, if they're able to find someone that can actually beat Allie, I will buy them breakfast. This guy's got a theory about that as well. Fine. I'm on your side here. I'm trying to help you out. I feel like you need to tell them that you can poop, that if they can't bet the contestants for Allie knows the news good enough, then they owe you guys breakfast, including Jay.

So this guy's theory is that if... I couldn't hear him at the end there, including somebody, but we'll never know. We'll never know who gets breakfast. I don't think so. I'm so hungry. His phone broke up. We got some beans in here. You can take them.

But the point is he's saying that maybe that's the bet, right? If they get good contestants that beat you, I buy them breakfast. If they get bad contestants, they crumble under the pressure. They buy us breakfast. They're going to go broke. I know. But today, it's a breakfast day. So, happy Friday.

Let's order some breakfast. And last time, though, it got out of control because no one could agree. And next thing I knew, there was like four different places bringing food here. Vanessa wanted a bagel sandwich type thing. And Johnny wanted a smoothie. And then Jake was randomly saying he wanted corn dogs. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That sounds good. Yeah. So, we're not doing that again. Just pick a normal breakfast place. Nothing like a 7.30 corn dog. Yeah. Oh, man. So good.

The weirdest collection of people ever. It's like, I thought this was Allie's, like, pregnancy-craving wish list. I made all those things, by the way. She's like, no, no, no, Jake wants a corndog. We can't find anyone to bring one here. One, two. We're not doing corndogs. I'm sorry.

And, Johnny, I don't know where all of a sudden you got this bougie appetite where you'll only order from Air One or wherever the hell you get it. It's not Air One. It's Earth Bar. Whatever, dude. It's right across the street. We're not. Just a regular good old-fashioned, just find a normal goddamn breakfast like Vanessa gets. Like a breakfast smoothie?

No. No, like a breakfast sandwich. So what, you want us to order from like IHOP or something? Great. Einstein's bagels down the street? Sure, great. Last time I think the thing cost me more than Allie lost. I think Allie lost $100.

I think I paid out $107 to get all this food here. Because the smoothies were like $20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're not doing that again. I'm sorry. All right. Rules. No, those aren't the rules.

You know what? Jake's right. We're just getting corn dogs from now on. Damn it. That's it. Everyone's getting corn dogs. Corn dog Fridays. I'm kind of bummed out.

I don't know. You say I'm not emotional of a person. I don't have a heart and stuff. I mean, you say I have a heart. I'm a good person, but I lack emotion. You're not emotional for certain things. Yes, but you are a pussy. A couple people tipped me off.

Thank you for saying that. A couple people tipped me off yesterday to a bar that has been in Southern California for almost 30 years and a place that I've had a lot of fond memories at, including the place I met my wife at. Chuck E. Cheese? Chuck E. Cheese. Wasn't that a preschool? That was a playground. It was a bar called...

Jimboree. it's the juice bar at my gym and uh that's you're all wrong i gave her her first apple there's a bar on la cienega that's been there for a long ass time called the belmont and apparently it is now doing unfortunately what a lot of places are doing which is shutting down and i don't know they didn't explain the reason i'm sure it's because rents got expensive or business hasn't been good i guess it had been around forever it was one of the first places just because it was near where i first lived when i moved here that it was my go-to if nothing else panned out if there was that was always a place

that go the amount of football i watched in that place on sundays uh and the amount of times i had been rejected by women there uh you know but many fond memories at a bar that i also had not been to in a long time except that's probably why except i did well i live on the other side of the hill so the odds of me going over the canyon for a drink is just rare but i did go back there and I feel like it was the final nail in the coffin this past year this past July was a significant and it was like the anniversary of I think 20 years since I met my wife at that bar whoa that's a long time met her in 2006 in July at that bar and we went back there and had a drink and the bartender there coincidentally and this is going to be a real throwback to anyone who's

been listening to the show but he the bartender there apparently was the husband of the woman that won the rap contest and came on stage with Limp Bizkit and us. Oh, I thought you were going to say it was the same bartender from 20 years ago. No, no, that guy's long dead.

Oh, okay. But, yeah, and he was like, hey, I know you. And I was like, oh, yeah, fan of the show? He goes, no. But you gave my wife

an opportunity to go on stage and rap with Limp Bizkit. Wow, that's amazing. That's crazy. Did he give you for a drink? I think he did. I think he did

comp our drinks, yeah. And that was the nail in the coffin. And I said, those final two drinks is what made them not be able to pay rent but i found myself getting strangely emotional and i know that everyone's got a place that maybe is like was their go-to is their go-to and even if you haven't been there

in years it's something nice to know it's open nice to know you could go back to it if you wanted to you know i don't want to distract you with math but 20 years ago i don't think your wife would have been old enough to drink um yep that's right that is well my math is wrong it's probably It was probably 17 years ago or something. And to be completely honest, I met her two days after her 21st birthday. Oh, okay. So the answer is she was. For you.

That's the classic thing to do. I just was sitting there with a stopwatch going on. And go. We're out. She's on the Belmont. Go. So, no. That's tragic, though, when a place that you have an emotional connection with has closed down.

There are a few places like that for us that we used to frequent. And then you get those like, you know, little pop ups that say this place is closing after, you know, 50, 70 years. And you feel like you a part of you, a little part of you dies. When I left L.A. for a period, when we moved up to San Francisco to start that show, I had my going away, leaving L.A. party at the Belmont as well. So I had that was like, as I said, if I needed if I needed to do anything, that was the place. And a lot of people I was just reading some of the many comments. And it was a lot of people's like, oh, I remember first first moving to L.A. this was the first because it was one of those places there was no it was it wasn't like you

needed to know someone to get in you didn't have to have nine names to drop at the door they didn't try to convince you oh you gotta buy six bottles it was just a place you could just go and and hang out and uh it's it's sad because as we've all common story now it's a common story we've all had a place that we were like and we're part of the problem because you go oh i used to go there all the time and you go yeah well that's the issue it's like people that tell us oh like where the hell were you you work at k-rock i used to listen to that every day i go well where the hell we're still here where the hell have you been but you know what there is there are a few places that i know of that have closed down and i was sad and then they reopened or they were saved and think

about cole's friendship like those places that they say we're gonna close down and then all of a sudden all these people flood to that place and keep it afloat so you can be one of those people it's funny the uh i guess the guy who's running it or someone put out a message yesterday a video on instagram and they said we're not going to go quietly into the night but we're Basically, our last day is the end of August, so if you'd like to stop by and have one last drink, and I'm thinking to myself, is this one of those things where the- It's a cry for help. This is really not we're closing, but let's go ahead and figure out if we can boost the

sales and all of a sudden stay alive. I couldn't imagine what the rent costs. I mean, even I just know what the rent is on apartments here is crazy. For these businesses- Well, a lot of these businesses, even if they're full, they're not even making money. Right, and the restaurant business is terrible. Now, all these people aren't drinking anymore. So it sucks if you're running a bar.

I mean, that was... They need to get a bunch of soju cocktails in there. Yeah, yeah, all those hipstery, weird, dry drinks. Daddy sodas. I think the real problem, Allie, is that you're pregnant. You're not drinking anymore. Well, as soon as this baby gets out of here, I will frequent every single bar in this area.

So for anyone who's lost a place, thoughts with you this morning, and a moment of silence for that. We come back in a moment. When we return, we have your news to get to. Then a brand-new hour of the show, complete with the finals for the dumb-off. People are very excited for the Dunlop finals today.

Someone is going to wear the sash of stupidity, and we have those tickets for you to join us at our Endless Summer Kegger happening in mere moments here on KROQ. All right, let's get into your ADD news. Then a brand-new hour of the show can officially begin. Let me see why everyone's on the phone right now. Jenna, Fountain Valley, good morning. Good morning.

Hi, why are you calling? I would really love to go to the Endless Summer Kegger. Well, you did call at the exact right time. After the chug chant you called, you'll be joining us. on September 3rd, Endless Summer Kegger. You're as good as in. Bring a friend, no lamos, and we will see you there. Oh my gosh, you guys, thank you so much.

My husband and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary, and Slightly Stupid has been a part of our relationship for the whole 29 years we've been together. I'm so excited. That's great. Boring. No, stop. It's a lovely story. Excuse me, you just talked about how that rest of the bar that you went to, 20 years. That's incredible.

And this town, 20 years, is unbelievable. I mean, it doesn't mean much in Wisconsin, but right here in L.A., 20 years, it's never heard of before. I know. You didn't marry someone younger six different times? Congratulations. Jenna, congratulations. Hold on, and we will see you at the slightly stupid Endless Summer Kegger. Hold on, all right?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Let's get into this, your news now, and then a brand new hour of the show will begin. And don't worry, you'll be hearing that chug chant many times this morning, so just call when you hear it and win your way in, and that's all happening after this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for

ADD News. The drama continues with the Paramount-Warner Brothers merger. Of course, there are investigations happening about how this deal will work out. And there's a strong belief that this will not be good for the industry. It won't be good for Hollywood. They are trying to get around it by promising to release a certain amount of movies and theaters every year. And someone crunched the numbers and they estimated an average of 4,500 jobs will be lost in L.A. over the next three years. And they also estimate a total of $1.26 billion in wages are at risk if this deal goes through.

But, of course, it's going to be super great for all the people in the suits that want to consolidate all their debt and they want to streamline everything. And, of course, it's going to be bad for people who like to make movies and people who like to watch movies. Remember when that guy who worked here, Ali, got fired recently and he was one of the guys? He's the guy that I think fired us officially. on Christmas Eve. And it was funny. Not funny. It's never funny

when someone gets fired, but... I mean, it was kind of funny. When you're one of the people that's kind of crossing names off the list for years. Cross off, not important. Cross off, cross off. Eh, we'll send them off

into the holidays without a job. And then eventually, your name gets crossed off the list. There is something, there is some sweetness about it. Poetic, yeah. Something poetic. And now that we're, you know,

back on the air and stuff. And there is a feeling that way. And for all of the suits and the higher-ups, that are, and I get it, it's profit, capitalism, the whole thing, but you are eliminating these jobs that you don't understand right now, especially because L.A., it seems like all these jobs are going away. But in the movie film industry, they should be doubling and tripling down right now

and bringing more and more of these jobs back to this town because you end up losing all the creativity and all of the spark that in many ways is what this whole area was built on. Yeah, think about every guy named Brian, dressed in all black with a ponytail, just you know operating cameras right bringing people from the people mover over to the set that's their life that's their daily life and their livelihood and you're going to take that away from them and there are people that have left the industry and said i tried getting back in the industry i was doing something every five days a week i was working on this show in this

show and then because of ai also replacing some jobs and also just cutting costs of movies and tv or being like oh we're going to spend all this movie on an a-lister and then we're going to cut the staff tax write-offs go shoot it in canada totally all this stuff there's so many different factors it's really rough it's been that way for a bit and uh you know i always talk to my friends that are still quote in the industry and i say are things getting better yet and they're like there's like signs they could be getting better but they could also be getting worse but it's all media right right i mean everyone is trying to be like ah we don't really need this we don't really they're all cutting corners left and right because nobody's making as much money as they used

do plenty of restaurants in southern california are hard to get into because they are fancy and full of a-listers but what if you could pay to skip that line and get a reservation anytime you wanted and then you're that cool person that's like hey i got us into spago or whatever it is all you have to do is pay there's a new app this is in chicago but it's i think this is something that is going to go national in no time it's called dorsia the app is called dorsia it's launching new this isn't no dorsia has been around for a while well i think this is fascinating I didn't know about this. Let me tell you something.

I know someone that had it, and it sucks for them because you, at some of these restaurants, I didn't realize this, you do have to pay for the reservation. You have to pay $200 a year. And then there's a membership fee. And then, depending on how in demand the restaurant or table is, they will put a minimum you have to spend. What? Oh, yeah. And I didn't know that.

One time, I was in Miami, and a guy got a table at a hard-to-get restaurant, and then he said, by the way, we have a minimum we have to hit of $1,000. a thousand dollars luckily one of the guys there was putting it on business expense so i don't have to worry about that but it was one of those things where i was like it would have been nice to have known that up front you have those fancy friends that are already using this that was a friend friend of a friend friend of a friend i was lucky to get the invite in chicago with 17 restaurants most of them are high end all of them are hard to get into starting at 200 a year the app will give you a chance to book reservations that aren't open to the public so if you can't get it on resi

or open table, then you can be a part of this higher echelon app where you can get a reservation above anybody else. It's not fair. There's a great pizza place in LA that's not fancy, but it's just really small. They only have like five tables in there. So it's impossible to get in because I don't even think, I think they only do reservation on two of the tables. I would love, like if someone said to me, you could pay $20 and get a table, I would happily do it, but you can't even do that. Yeah. But I wonder if it would be good to do like, it's like, you know, you just pay one time to get the reservation versus paying every single year for potential, like how often

are you going out to eat at these places? I guess if you're rich, it might be a lot. Do you remember the side hustle I came up with years ago, which was buying, getting all the good reservations on Valentine's Day and then selling them off for people that need them, like last minute. Because at the time, you know, people were doing that with tea times too. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you came,

but like that was, but reservations used to be easy to book though, because the reservation you used to be able to just call, give your name and table for two. And then all of a sudden restaurants started getting wise to it and they started going, put a credit card down to hold the reservation so this app dorsia you like you say it's been around for a while why hasn't it expanded then i don't maybe there's not enough people i mean you're you're talking

to like the top 0.01 percent that are going to pay for the what type of regular person would actually pay yeah but why not why wouldn't an la restaurant be like i want to be a part of that here add our name to the list like just have as many restaurants as possible on there and as many douches that want to pay for it can pay for it i bet they probably charge the restaurants a fee too i would imagine the restaurants are already well the restaurants say they are being a part of it because like we were saying even if the restaurant's full they're not making as much profit as they used to so they want to use this as an extra source of income a psa from disneyland please stop standing up on the rides maybe we need help to help disneyland come up with a

catchier psa for this but it's happening mainly on tiana's bayou it's a trend that started after the video of that kid who stood up right as the big drop happened and kind of ricocheted down the waterfall people saw that and then said i should try that so it's been happening a lot and now they are cracking down on it new signs are going up all around tiana's bayou to um you know let everyone know remain seated at all times failure to stay seated will result in removal from the park that just happened to a family they just they were all about to stand up right as the boat was going over and they stopped the ride and removed them all and then sent them out of the park so they are now keeping an eye on the ride up until that moment and as soon as someone looks like

they're about to stand up they're stopping the ride taking them off and kicking them out you Did that say a lifetime ban situation? You stand up on a ride? I don't think that's a lifetime ban. But they throw you out for the day. Oh, yeah. Did we ever find out if that kid was pussing out, or what was the situation? Did he think he was going to be cool, or?

I don't know if the kid ever gave an interview, but the kid had jumped off the Tiana's bike. We couldn't tell if he was trying to be a badass, or he was scared of the drops when he tried to jump out of the boat. We don't know what the reason was. If he did it to be a badass, coolest kid ever. Let's just assume that, then. He did it because he's a little pussy. Either way, he's an idiot. Well, we can agree on that, Chef.

And there are plenty more idiots that are happy to try it. Speaking of idiots, we've officially entered the hour. We will be giving away that sash of stupidity to someone on the show. We welcome you to the hour that will give us the finals of the Dumb Off. Ali's back for the third time. Johnny is looking to see if he can three-peat as Dumb Off champion, and Vanessa's in the mix as well. It's all happening this hour.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah. Welcome to your weekend, and good morning. It's just after 8 o'clock on a Friday. We are Fine Alley Show. This is K-Rock. If you need us, phone us, text line. Same as yesterday, same as tomorrow, 800-520-1067 or 323-TIP-BOLY. Tip-Boly with an I.

If you'd like to give us a call, they're on the local line. Of course, we've got lots to get into this hour. Perhaps the star of the show will be the dumb-op. Vanessa did want to let us all know she's feeling under the weather. A lot of times this time of year, kids go back to school and they get sick because all the germs and everyone's touching the boogies and stuff. And somehow Vanessa, who claims she is an adult and not a child, has got the exact same thing that kids are getting now, which is that back-to-school cold. She was like, we should talk about tips on how to keep kids from getting sick while she, as an adult woman who doesn't go to school, gets sick. I think I mushed myself because I said that one day before, the next day sick.

And I blame you guys. You are the ones with the kids in school. I don't know how, but it came to me again. Now I have to miss my friend's birthday party because it's a, don't make fun of me, but it is her kid's birthday party that I missed last year because I got sick and I didn't go because I didn't want to get the kid sick and I have to miss it again. You're always in bounce houses and stuff and we ask you what you're doing and you claim you're going to kids parties, but you're doing my friend's kids, but you're doing it, but

you're doing the activities that are there for the children's like, are you smashing your cake or are you eating it? Let's talk about it. Have you been to, I know you've been to a kid's party. There's snacks. There's something next to that. The snacks are like applesauce pouches. It's like the crappiest pizza you've ever had.

There's adult snacks, too. Where is this kid's birthday party? Is it at a gym or something? I don't know. I have to look at the invitation. A park? I just thought I was going. It's definitely a park.

So Vanessa's got the same thing your kids probably have right now. I don't think it was a jumping thing. She's blaming Allie and I. Meanwhile, I'm feeling as healthy as I've ever felt right now. My kid is healthy. Yeah, I feel great. I mean, a kid broke their arm this week, but other than that, we're doing great at my house. Homer, are your kids sick yet or no?

No, not yet. See? We're all great, Vanessa. You're the only kid who's sick. Who did this to me? You did this to yourself because you're in all those jumpy castles or whatever. I haven't been in one in a while. Vanessa's so sad she's not going to get a goodie bag.

So she just wants everyone to know that she is not going to be at her best during the dumb-off, which is coming up this hour on the show. Yeah, but 323 said Vanessa's about to have a Michael Jordan flu game. Oh, this could be your moment, Vanessa. Vanessa, you come in sick. What happened to Michael Jordan? Oh, that's the first question in the dumb-off. He died during the flu game.

It's a very sad story. It's funny because Vanessa wants everyone to know she's not a child, but she has asked me every day this week to include this in Clickbait, and the question is, what is the real reason you're scared of going into your basement? I thought that was such a good one because it's relatable. No, we don't have basements. A, not a lot of people have basements,

But, B, I think most of us are now past the point of being scared to go into a basement. Is anyone scared? For what's the real reason? Like that scary furnace from Home Alone? Yeah, that would be a thing. We'll get into clickbait in a moment, so get ready to. That's not the question we're going to ask. So we'll solve the Internet's biggest riddles together in just a moment.

And then the dumb-off can officially begin. Thoughts and prayers for sick Vanessa this morning. Internet design, two reasons, two reasons only. clickbait masturbating going to one of them on the radio so it's time for clickbait here we go

babe how would you like to have a and I know the answer is going to be pretty strong from Allie and Omar how would you like to have an instantly

happier wife instantly happier wife I don't know she's got it made I don't think she can be happier well sounds like

she's got a lot of things that she's looking to do to be happy, to tap dancing, join the army, all that other crap. Whatever. Her life's great.

Wow. Okay. She works like 58 hours a week. So maybe she should hear this. She gets massages. Maybe she should

hear this question then. Yeah. There's something you could be doing right now to have an instantly happier wife. And you know that stupid expression,

happy wife, BJ's later, whatever. Yeah, that's it. That rhymes. So that's the thing and I think that people need to know this

because if you're married, plan on being married or maybe you are the wife and you're like i want to be instantly happier so what could my partner be doing what is something you could be doing right now and should be doing according to merit marital experts to have an instantly happier wife there's a couple things on the list but there's one thing you could be doing as soon as immediately giving them time to themselves saying hey you've had a hard day why don't you go take an hour to yourself why don't you go do this giving them permission you don't think that that comes back with oh you don't want to hang out with me you're sending me off to myself it sounds like that's how you'd be instantly

happier that's how i would be i think most wives would love just a little solo time space space all right permission to have space and hey i'm thinking of you i want you to be happy get the hell out of here hit the bricks as omar says that's what you're saying okay omar here's a retreat what do you think the answer is and then i will give you the answer and it may just save marriages all over the place you know i think it's going to be kind of like the opposite of what ali is saying i think if you tell your wife hey i have something planned uh for you know saturday evening or something like that they they instantly get all happy and giddy and are going to be looking forward to it especially if it's plans without the kids plans that you made effort that went into it i've

I've already made the, quote, reservation. I made the call. Yeah, that would be nice. That's Omar. Omar says that they get into that. This isn't relatable. Right. I got it.

Jake, you're not married? Nope. Don't ever want to be, I don't think. Probably not. Right. Is that just because it hasn't happened or because you're determined that you don't think it's right for you? Both, I think, yeah.

Yeah, Jake's one of those guys where they give the whole, like, do you take this, da-da-da, sickness and health, and he's like, nah, nah, nah, there's a tool to help. You're sick, get away from me. Yeah, yeah, it'd be good though. whole time. I've got tickets to Warm Uncle that night. Sorry, you're sick. Sucks to suck. Sucks to suck would definitely go in his

house. Jake, what is the answer? I'm going to say either flowers, buying flowers, or doing the dishes. Or doing chores. Chores definitely would make the person happier. 626

says keep her tummy full and her balls drained. Ew! That is not... That's a guy. That's a guy. That doesn't work the other way around. And I think that was Allie's mom's advice, wasn't it? Yes. Tummy full, balls empty. Yeah, that's the throat goat's advice.

And the throat goat knows that she's strong. So this is the opposite. I think she did happy wife BJ's later, too. Yeah, she said that? I wish there was a female equivalent of full tummy, empty balls. But I feel like women would not like that as much as guys. No, I don't think so. We're simple.

I think it's full shopping bag, empty baggage, or whatever. The answer is kind of interesting because you danced around it. Not Ali and not Jake, but Omar was dancing around it. It is planning something, putting the effort to plan something, but strategically it's planning something that you used to do together. Because that is the thing that apparently shows multiple things. Remember that? Remember when we used to do that?

I set time aside. No thanks. I got to empty your balls. when you do the planning something that you used to do together it shows multiple things that instantly trigger two different zones that makes the woman happy one that you've planned and two that you remembered or you put some sort of thought into something that you used to do it's the combination of that which instantly supposedly makes them happier so you say hey remember that bar we met at let's go there oh wait it's just shut down yeah or you know in my

case my wife will go remember we used to do that and then just moves on there's no actual plan So think of something you used to do, preferably something they enjoyed, or at least you thought they enjoyed, and then you plan it. And then boom. Right. Do you happen to know what was the reason we're scared to go in our basements? Can I just know what the answer was? I'm kind of curious. I have Vanessa's answer.

Kind of dark and icky. The internet. Dark and icky. No, that's not the answer. Hold on. I have the answer. Vanessa wrote it down here. someone said monday morning we're gonna do why people what where the monster under your bed

actually is vanessa said the real reason you're scared to go in your basement according to psychologists is because you're tucked away basements can feel a little detached from the rest of the home which makes them feel different this is a good conversation to have with your parents if you're still scared vanessa where are you getting this stuff jesus christ we gotta take a break when we get back i can't believe it but the dumb off is here i'm so excited you have no idea i know you're excited we've got very we've got intros for everyone as well to get you ready for it welcome to the 2026 dumb off finals oh man this is big production value get ready who will be the dumbest on the show place your bets will it be ali will it be johnny will it be sick vanessa

The dumb-off finals happening next on KROQ. Celebrating stupidity every morning here on KROQ, especially during the back-to-school time of the year. This is, I believe, the third or fourth annual dumb-off that we've done here at KROQ. And as I said earlier, it's the fourth annual inaugural dumb-off, which is a pretty dumb thing to say, but that doesn't stop us from saying it anyway. We've got three contestants that have made their way to the finals because they represent the best and the worst of humanity.

Allie is... I'm what? What am I? Well, I just want to say that going into the competition, Allie's pregnant. She's got pregnancy brain. Vanessa's sick. She's got sick brain.

And Johnny's Johnny. I've got no brain. That's right. So we've got the sash of stupidity has been brought to the KROQ studios. If you don't believe us, this is happening in real time. You can watch their brains buckle under pressure. If you want to watch on YouTube, we're streaming there now as well. There's Allie holding the sash up.

She's worn that sash before. That's the big dummy sash. Years ago, it was Allie and Johnny who had to share the sash, wear it together. when they tied in the finals, and we have not had a tie since. But there's a lot on the line here. I mean, no one wants to be the dumbest on the show, right? There's nothing wrong with it. I mean, you guys made me that guy.

You made yourself that guy. You made me that guy. We didn't make you that guy, Johnny. Yeah, you did. It's the role you were born to play. So we have questions here. We'll get into it in a moment. But right now, let's go ahead and meet the contestants in the finals of the Dumb Off.

Welcome to the 2026 Dumb Off Finals. contestant number one they are so dumb they have a prescription for a helmet and don't even know what the word prescription means they have been challenged by stamps fellatio salad and basic 11 a.m. start times please welcome a two-time dumb off champion gay Leno aka postmaster dummy beautiful intro how How are you feeling? Anything you want to say before you compete in the Dumb Off finals? What does the 11 a.m. intro mean?

When we talked about our meetings. You're confused about your intro? When we talked about how our meetings start at 11 a.m. You guys don't even come in at 11. Yeah, we do. You guys are still in the studio. And you said, I don't know what that means. And we said, it means be here at 11.

You're like, I don't understand what you guys are saying. And then you were like, I feel like we keep talking about this. That was a difficult thing for you, but Johnny had a hard time figuring it out. We now say hi to our second contestant in the Dumb Off. Please welcome contestant number two. Contestant number two. English is not her first, second, or third language. She claims she's not dumb and actually one of the smartest kids in her class.

She is four feet four inches of pure Colombian cocaine and chicken. And she once pooped her pants and didn't have underwear. Please welcome former NASA employee and former Chuck E. Cheese mouse, producer Vanessa. Vanessa. I did have underwear on. What's that? I did have underwear. Oh, you did?

I did. Well, then why did you say you didn't? Redo the whole intro. I didn't realize. That's the only thing you have a gripe about? The other ones are ridiculous. Well, but the other ones are true. You did work at NASA.

I'm not 4'4". Oh, you're not? And I speak two languages. Yeah. So I'm the smartest one, actually. All right. But this one's true. I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear.

Yeah, that's you saying it. I don't understand what that happened. You said it. You don't understand your own statement? What did I say this? That's when you got really drunk and you said you pooped your pants and then you said you didn't have underwear. Yeah. And back in 2023.

People are sitting in their cars now, not going into my job today until I hear this dumb off. I'm so excited. This is exciting. I haven't been this excited since the Seinfeld finale, someone claims. Man, that's exciting. We can't get caught up in the intros. We've got to move forward. Yeah, come on, man.

Moving on. We have one final intro because we do have one final contestant, and it's come down to three people. You've met Vanessa. You've met Johnny. And now let's meet contestant number three. Contestant number three. She once got trapped in her underwear while trying to pull it over her head. Years earlier, she got stuck in a hula hoop and had to be rescued by the fire department.

That's not true. She claims that she's not dumb, and the rest of us are just a bunch of stupid assholes. She is a three-time Dumb Off finalist, and a gross-off winner, and the meanest on the show. Please welcome the cankle queen, Allie Johnson. Wow, what a nice... Thank you. Thank you. It's funny, because Allie's offended, but also proud that she's got so many titles.

I mean... These are your contestants that will be battling it out in the Dumb Off. Please, everyone, get your paper out. Get your pens ready. And without any further ado or intros, it's time now for the Dumb All Finals. The Dumb All Finals. The Dumb All Finals. All right, here we go.

Write down your answers. Question number one. What is an antonym of scarce? What is an antonym of scarce? Johnny's writing. Vanessa is starting. I wrote. Probably Googling.

I'm not Googling. You Googling back there? There was a lot of people that speculated that yesterday during the tiebreaker question, Johnny was on his phone to answer that question. They saw it happen on YouTube Live. So everyone on YouTube was watching. Make sure there's no cheating in question two. Damn.

If you're in a race and you run past the person in second place, what place are you now in? We get this question every year. You've never gotten it right, Johnny. Say it again one more time. If you're in a race, you run past the person in second place. What place are you now in? Question three. It's the Dumb All Finals on KROQ.

A farmer has 17 sheep. All but nine run away. How many sheep remain? Can you repeat that? Sorry. I was distracted. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but nine run away.

How many remain? this is the dumb off thank you Jake what would be heavier to carry 10 pounds of cotton balls or 10 pounds of cinder blocks what would be heavier to carry

the cotton balls or the cinder blocks we go to your next question say goodbye in three languages say goodbye in three languages? Next question. A man dies on his 25th birthday. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Hold on. Let him cook. Let him cook. Go ahead. He's 25? A man dies on his 25th birthday. The official cause of death was old age.

How is this possible? A man? Okay, one more time. Yeah, what kind of man? A human man? A human man. Thank you. Thank you, Allie.

Is that your answer? A human man dies on his 25th birthday. Cause of death officially was old age. How is this possible? It is a human, right? You've said this five times. It's a goddamn human man. Hispanic?

Italian? It does not matter for the purpose of this, Johnny. Interesting. Make him however you want to make him. Yeah, draw him, though. And draw him. Yeah. Hmm.

Next question. that a birthday is actually a hospital room? No. Oh, yeah. It's probably some stupid crap like that. It's birthday of his mother. Stupid. All right, next question.

How many questions are we doing? Yeah, can we do like eight only? No, there's ten. Oh, man. That's a problem for you guys? Yeah, there's too many questions. What can you hold without ever touching it? What can you hold without ever touching it?

Two more questions. There's two more questions? That's right. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it? And your final question, the dumb-off. Starts with T, ends with T, and has a T in it? Yep. Has T in it.

Has T in it? Yep. Starts with T, ends with T, has T in it. Final question. A man walks three miles north. Oh, my God. These questions at the beginning were so great. Hey, girls, let's just veto this one, not answer it.

Nah, this is so easy. Boycott. Yeah, boycott. Vanessa, you want to boycott this one, too? A man walks three miles north, three miles east, and three miles south. How far is he from where he started? Okay, wait, wait, wait. Okay, three miles.

North. Uh-huh. Three miles east and three miles south. How far is he from where he started? Again, super easy. These are not difficult questions. Okay. Is everyone happy?

Okay, yep. Can I get a repeat, please, of number six? Yeah, what was six? I left that one blank, too. That's the birthday one. Number six is the man. How does a man celebrate his 25th birthday? He dies on his 25th birthday.

The cause of death was old age. How is this possible? Super easy. Everyone happy now? Okay. Alright, so we did nine questions Yeah, what's the tenth one? The tenth one is a tiebreaker, if needed

So I'm not going to ask that one Come back, everyone's going to look over their answers No texting We'll come back with the results next Jay Rock, Klein Alley Show About to get to the exciting conclusion of this year's Dumb Off And we've really raised the production value This year, Alley

We have musical interludes as well And as we celebrate the stupidity on the show Here they are, the dumbest on the show They sound like they're high, but their IQ is low It's the dumb-off The dumb-off Let's get to the exciting conclusion of the dumb-off. That's pretty good.

Who gets to wear the sash of stupidity? Very exciting. Nice. All right. Allie, how are you feeling before we get to the answers? Well, I'm upset, but let's just move on. Shaku, what are the odds you're upset? Vanessa, how are you feeling about all that?

Fair? Fair is fair? Like, definitely got some of them wrong, but hopefully some of them right. Right, it's all about just not losing. And Johnny, you're looking at your paper scratching your head a lot. Well, as a dumb-off champion, I've experienced a lot of these questions before. So I'm pretty confident in them. Really? Yeah, like four of them he repeated in previous years.

Yeah, but Johnny has been known to... And he knew we wouldn't go back and listen to those old episodes. That's right. Or remember. Because we can't find them. All right, here we go. Question number one. This is the exciting conclusion of the dumb-off.

What is an antonym of scarce? John, we'll start with you. Abundant. Vanessa, what did you put down? A lot. Uh-huh. Allie? Plenty.

All right, both of you, all you get the points on that one. We all wrote different words, though. Yeah, interesting. Well done. You guys got that. One on the board early. Woo! You run past the person in second place in a race.

What place are you now in, Allie? Second place. Johnny? Second place. Vanessa? I put first. Because, okay, because you're passing the second person, so you're first. No.

No, now you're second because obviously you're in third, so now you're in second place. That was a question that tripped up some people last year, and Vanessa is now first to get a point in the finals of the dumb-off. And points are not good here. We go to your next question. Vanessa's up one. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but nine run away. How many remain?

Vanessa, we'll start with you. Eight. Oh, damn. Johnny? I put all. Another repeat from, like, previous years. Come on with the memory. Who remembers questions?

That's also wrong, Johnny. Allie? I put nine. That is the right answer. Ah, damn it. It was nine. All but nine remain, which means... I couldn't remember because I was like, it was one of those trick ones where it was like,

no, you need all of them because he says all. Right. Well, anyway. I'm curious, Vanessa, how you came up with eight. Because nine and eight. She subtracted. 17 minus nine. She subtracted.

Thought it was basic subtraction. It's funny that Johnny and Vanessa both got that wrong for very different reasons. Yes. I don't know how Johnny came up with all is a better question. I was like, he said he started off with all. I was like, it's got to be all. I thought you were lecturing Vanessa like, God, don't worry. I got this.

Yeah. It's all. It's an even more wrong answer. Vanessa has two, and Johnny has one as we go to this next question. What would be heavier to carry? 10 pounds of cotton balls or 10 pounds of cinder blocks? Vanessa. They're the same weight.

Allie. Same weight. Same weight. All right. Johnny got that question wrong three different years, so he's finally learned something. It took us that long for him to figure that out. Woo! Next question.

Can you say goodbye in three different languages? Allie. Goodbye, adios, and au revoir. Johnny. I said adios, ciao, and arrivederci. Nice. You didn't even go with English. That's interesting.

Duh. Vanessa. Okay. I put three, but my question is, I didn't put goodnight because, like, you're saying can you say goodnight in three different languages. Goodbye, not goodnight. Oh, I heard goodnight.

Damn. Wedge, you know what? I did say, which is funny, because I put ciao, which is bye, adios, which is bye, but then I also put bonui, which is goodnight. What? This is my sick brain. What?

Oh, boy. For Nui, it's goodnight, which also means goodbye, because I'm going to bed. So you said goodbye, goodbye, goodnight? Yeah. Vanessa, I can't give you the point on that. Come on, I'm a headache. We go to your next question. This one really bothered a lot of people.

A man dies on his 25th birthday. The cause of death was old age. How is this possible? Johnny, we'll start with you. I put abortion. Oh, interesting. I like it. I mean, just for that answer alone,

Johnny should win the double. Sorry, trigger warning, but like, I don't know. Like the op trigger warning. I put newborn slash abortion, and I was just like, I think it's abortion. I'd love you to explain that. That's a very late, late term abortion. That's like the opposite.

Well, you didn't say 25 years old. It could be 25 days old. How long has it been in there? Allie, what'd you put? I am just going to take the L. Oh, come on. You don't even have an answer? I wrote that it was his fourth 25th birthday.

What does that mean? Like, it's his 25th birthday, but it's his fourth anniversary of his 25th birthday. Jake, is this hard? No. It's really not, right? Vanessa, please tell me you got the answer. I just guessed. I'm like 100.

You just put 100? Yeah. Well, now I'm curious if I'm right, but I'm pretty sure I am. Well, but Vanessa, explain 100. A man dies on his 25th birthday. Cause of death was considered old age. How is this possible? You wrote 100?

Oh, wait. It's like, if it, 100. Wait, sorry. He was born in, like, 1200 B.C. or something when there was, like, cavemen and animals. So, like, life expectancy wasn't that long back then. You're overthinking it. Oh, that's a good answer. You know what I mean?

His birthday is on February 29th. Oh, stupid. I knew it. So, he is 100 at the age of death. So, Vanessa figured that out. Hell, yeah. Yeah, and I just guessed, baby. But you kind of didn't.

Yeah, that was wrong. She was way off. I feel like you just picked a number. Yeah. Give her that. And I chose the right one, 100. Give her the word. Guys, we're down to this.

It's not looking good for Vanessa. Wait, so did she get it right? The answer is leap year. Leap year is the answer. Oh, I thought you said the answer was 100. Yeah, he's born on a leap year, so technically it's his 25th birthday. He's 100 years old. No, no, no.

I'm right. I put 100. Vanessa's right. Thank you. What can you hold without ever touching it? Johnny. I didn't answer it. Allie?

I put your breath. That is correct. Vanessa? Yes. Okay, it's pretty close to breath. Air. You can hold air. I think we should give her that one.

Vanessa will give you that as well. Why? I was going to say air, but I was like, that's not even an answer. Johnny, no answer, which means you are now. Well, because I was going to say air is not an answer. You can't hold it, or you can't touch it. It's your breath. You can't touch air.

That room is holding it right now. Johnny, this is not looking good for you, Johnny. You can't touch air. Johnny, technicality, hold on. Yeah, you can hold your breath, but you can't touch air. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it? Allie. I put teat.

Come on. Come on. Seriously? I'm right. Starts with T, ends with T, and it has the word T in it. Vanessa? A tent. Jesus Christ.

When you build a tent, there's a stick that creates a T. And it starts with T, ends with T, and inside of it, when you build it, there's a T. I wish I came up with a stupid answer, too. Johnny, what'd you say? I put TNT. Oh, my God. There's a TN inside of it,

like you said, and T. I think we all have great answers. It's a teapot. Stupid-ass question, dog. Stupid-ass question. You've gotten it wrong. TNT because it says TNT, like you just said in the question.

All right, you're all wrong. I think we're all creative and came up with alternative answers. Yeah, that are all wrong. All wrong. And this final question could determine who wins and who loses, guys. I have lost count, but I think that it's between Vanessa and Johnny now. Allie, let's throw you in the mix. A man walks three miles north, three miles east, and three miles south.

How far is he from where he started? I put three miles. Vanessa, what did you put? Three miles. Johnny? Wow, I have three miles written down, too. All right, that is the right answer. Whoa.

So at the end of it all, I think we can agree. Allie is the dumbest, right? No, I'm not. I only got two wrong. Sadly, it is, I believe, and Omar, correct me if I'm wrong, Johnny and Vanessa have an almost identical score right now. Yeah, I think we have to go to the tiebreaker. Which means we have to go to the tiebreaker.

Wait, how many did you get wrong, Johnny? Yeah, you kind of messed me up because you didn't count. You gave her the point for 100 and then you took me away for the you can't touch air. Guys, this is the last question. This will determine who wears the sash of stupidity. Take this seriously. This is BS.

A man shaves several times a day, but still has a full beard. Who is he? God, I'm so glad I don't have to answer this. Who is he? What? A man shaves several times a day, but still has a full beard. Who is he? This will be the determining question.

There will be one person standing high atop the Mount Rushmore of stupidity. Will it be Vanessa, who is sick? Will it be Johnny, who's got brain damage? I think they're going to tie again. Yeah, this is going to be a tiebreaker. Yeah, how are they going to get it there, but neither of them are going to get this right. Yeah, they're going to be wearing that sash together. It's happened before.

Are you ready? Yep. Okay. What'd you write? Klein. I thought that was a great answer. Yeah. And you set yourself up for that one, too.

You shave several times a day, and you're still hairy? Didn't you shave this morning? Look at you. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not a full... I'm not the answer. That's the damn answer, bro. It's not a full beard.

Who am I? Jesus? Vanessa? Okay. I think a swimmer. A swimmer? Or a captain? Terrible question.

The answer, guys, is a barber. A barber. A barber. You all right? You all right? Another one? Well, listen, that's it. It's come down to a tie, and it's the back room, the chicken coop.

Here's our song that we've been so excited. Guys, wear the sash together. She's sick. I don't want to be that close to her. You've got to stand with her. This is a great moment now. Everyone gather around and text your dumbest friend. The dumb-off has officially come to an end with a tie, and it's the people responsible for it.

Allie's pregnancy, the least thing wrong inside her brain. Her stupid answers leave a stupid bite and taste. Look at him. Vanessa has a language barrier, so she has an excuse. Johnny has no excuse for his answers so obtuse. Here they are, the dumbest on the show They sound like they're high, but their IQ is low It's the Dumb-Off

The Dumb-Off Congratulations to all participants. Well played. All right. We're going to break. More from the Martin Allen Show after this. Honk, hey, rock. All right, let's get into your ADD news, and then a brand new hour of the show will begin.

First thing we do when that hour starts is get you your tickets so you can go to, excuse me, passes to go to Just Like Heaven. I don't know why they're caught up on that word, but regardless, that's what you're getting. So you will get them from us the second we're done with this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD news. You may have heard this story earlier this week about a man in a Chucky mask terrorizing innocent people on the street. there is an update on this and a connection to california but this is what was happening in philly this week it's not good that's about us so he's wearing a chucky doll halloween style

face mask i want to warn you this this story is a little scary so this morning the search is on for a masked man accused of harassing and threatening people in philadelphia he was running up to people trying to scare and antagonize them and in one case he chased a woman while she was jogging and repeatedly asked her are you ready to die terrifying they did find him at one point and they ordered him to remove his mask and he did but then he ran away and they were not able to catch him so they're saying he there's a obviously a be on the lookout for this guy they're trying to find him but now that he removed his mask they know who he is and he's also wanted in california and nevada for the same thing so this guy is like a serial mask chaser and i thought we

You had to wait until September or October to hear these mask weird person creep stories. Just like Costco with the decorations. It's all happening earlier. Started doing it earlier. All these creepy mask guys running up to you. Vanessa sent me this story and said that this has been really scaring her all week. This is why you don't go in the basement. People like this, right?

But that is a scary story. Very, very scary. Very scary. Well, if someone was chasing me in public and asking me if I wanted to die in a mask, I mean, that definitely would freak me out. But then you would also think, ah, it's Halloween. This is just maybe a weirdo, not an actual murderer. Like, if that happened in March, I think I'd be more scared than if it happened in September or October.

The scariest part of that story is that person went out jogging by choice. That's my biggest fear at all. In Philadelphia, it's hot as hell there. Forget about the mask part. I'd be scared if I was out jogging. Do you have sunshine guilt? It is sunny and beautiful outside, but all you want to do is hole up in your bedroom and watch Sandra Bullock movies. And you might feel guilty about that.

It happens to the best of us. It is called sunshine guilt, or some people call it summer guilt. It's that feeling that you're wasting a beautiful day by staying inside. It's pretty common, and you can also call it a shoe shine. Pretty sure it's white guilt is what that is. It's just regular, good old-fashioned white guilt. If that's what you're guilty about, is that you don't go out. People say that all the time.

When I want to sit at home and just watch football all day. It's beautiful outside. It's so nice outside. That's great. You know what's even nicer? Right here on this couch with football on. Well, and I know that it's a little different here, but there's this obligation that we should be outside.

We should be enjoying the weather. We should be doing something, even though you don't want to. We get that a lot. We're spoiled by it. I've lived in parts of the country where it's nice for one month of the year, maybe. I know, and people are outside every day, all day. And you do feel like you want to take advantage of that. And when the weather finally is nice, even like living in New York City, a lot of the weather there sucks.

But then every once in a while, you get this crazy nice day. You're like, I probably should go out and walk around. Oh, man, we would just lay out on like even a small patch of grass just all day on days like that when I lived in New York. But here, you get it most days, right? So a part of it, though, is social media. They say it gives you this element of FOMO that if you're not out doing something, you're lame. There's a pressure to be fun.

There's a social expectation. And we're in this productivity culture that we always need to be getting after it, that we shouldn't just be sitting at home watching TV. That's why I think people actually love when it rains here, which is rare, but when it happens, because it takes away all that guilt where you're like, I can actually not feel bad about staying home and binge watching something. I think in L.A. there is a winter that happens in the middle of summer where it's so hot that I can't leave the house. You are just holed up in your place because you can't go anywhere or do anything because it's too, I think, hot. If you had to repeat a grade in school, that was likely not your choice to do so. But now people are doing it intentionally to get more learning in for sure, but they're mainly doing it for sports. Did your parents ever say, you better get your grades up, little lady, or you're going to repeat eighth grade?

Well, now, some 13- Little lady? I heard that a lot. I said, Dad, stop calling me little lady. You're going to get your grades up. You're going to be a little lady. I'm going to make you a little lady forever. 13-year-olds are doing it by choice, hoping to get into a better school, a bigger scholarship, or more NIL money.

I play baseball because I love the game, but it's cool to know that if I do what I love, I'll get a little bit of money out of it. That's a little lady. That sounds like a little lady. That's a little lady, all right. I love baseball because of the ball. The little lady needs her nuts to drop. But they say that it's a lot of delusional parents saying my kid is going to make it to the MLB. And if I give him an extra year to repeat eighth grade and get better at it.

Because once you're in high school, you're on the clock. You have four years to get as good as possible before you get some kind of a scholarship and that kind of thing. So this kid thinks that he's going to eventually be in the MLB. So his parents are going, okay, well, then we're going to give you as much time as possible to stay in school and practice. and get better so that you have a leg up from all these other kids. Yeah, the odds are still stacked against you. I mean, it's like 1%. Right.

But listen, you have to be delusional. Anyone who does anything that's amazing at some point was delusional before they ended up doing that thing. Yeah, you put all your eggs in that one basket, but most of the time you're not good enough. And then when you put all your eggs in that basket, you got no other life. There's your inspirational words from Allie this morning. Kids.

That's what I did. Now look at me. Eggs. That's right. Put those eggs in that basket. Why even bother calling us right now? because you're probably not going to be caller 20, but if you are, oh, if you are.

You're going to be that 1%, baby. You've got passes tomorrow to go to Just Like Heaven, Brookside, the Rose Bowl, see some strokes and many more, and I'm looking for you, caller 20, now. Let's go ahead and be delusional, get through now, K-Rock. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah, welcome to your weekend. Good morning, Friday here at K-Rock.

We've got it, Friday! You know what to do. Give us a call, we get you into Just Like Heaven. We've got a chance to win those tickets today, And then we've got to go ahead and close that list up so you can go to, just like heaven tomorrow, Brookside Rose Bowl. Johnny will be there. I think Jake's going to be there as well. Anyone else from the show going there?

Vanessa's sick, so she can't go. I said you, Johnny. He's pointing at himself. I started with you. It's me. I'm going. A lot of people saying that Johnny actually, after further review, has lost slash won the dumb off yet again. because in the question about say goodbye in three different languages,

Johnny chose Italian for two of his languages when he said ciao and arrivederci. But also, too, you gave Vanessa the right answer for the hundred and the... Because the answer was a hundred. How I got it, I just... No, you just gave it. Same with, like, air and breath, too. I think it's fitting that you guys both wear the sash of stupidity for this year, and I think that that's a beautiful thing.

And Allie, as a one-time dumb-off champion, how does it feel to pass that sash on? We don't actually have to retire your T-shirt into the rafters of K-Rock, so you get to wear your shirt today. That was my biggest fear, is that you'd have to do the rest of the show brawless as we hung your shirt up, you know, with just a bra. Come to the whole studio. Right. Just be in a blackout situation here. Yeah, be like, we're fumigating in here. You know, I feel proud of myself.

I feel like I've improved. But I also feel, you know, if I, there was a part of me that wanted to be the beauty queen that rips the crown off their heads and goes, that was mine, damn it. Well, I will say this. If either of them are not up to the challenge of remaining stupid this entire year, you will be next in line. So, like always, they say, if you cannot fulfill your responsibilities as being a dumb off champion on the show, then Allie will be happy to step in and take that honor from you. Let's go ahead and say good morning and congratulations to the 20th caller on the phone right now. His name, I believe, is David from Alhambra. David, good morning.

Morning, guys. You are the 20th caller. Congratulations. Hell yeah. Thank you. Nothing like waiting until the last possible second, but you'll be going tomorrow. Did you have no plans this weekend, or are these just better plans? These are better plans.

Great. We'll see you. And you get to bring someone. So enjoy. A couple of passes will be yours. Go to the old Brookside at the Rose Bowl and see just like heaven. Yeah. Have fun faking diarrhea for those other plans we had.

Oh, sorry. I can't make it to that quinceanera. I got better plans. I want to go to a quinceanera. Well, you have not been invited. I think we are going to throw Vanessa's quinceanera next year. We've already come up with plans for that and a band to play. But that's a future thing to talk about for a future date.

Coming up in a moment, later this hour on the show, the interactive Box of Shame could score you access to our endless summer kegger. And we'll see if humans stand a chance against robots in the world of scamming. Man vs. Machine will all be happening later this hour right here on KROQ. Good morning. You were complaining, I think it was earlier this week, Allie, that appetizers used to be a go-to at restaurants when you didn't want to pay for an entree,

and now appetizers have gotten as expensive, if not more expensive, than the entrees. Oh, there was a guacamole. Guacamole is supposed to be the most basic appetizer, right? But that's considered now luxury because of the cost of avocados. $16. I believe that. For just some avocado and chips.

Look, even just adding avocado to anything, it sometimes could double the price of a sandwich. And we're in California where avocados are everywhere. Yeah, I think, and if you ever meet anyone that's got an avocado tree, they can't get rid of them fast enough. They need you to take them because they go, goddamn raccoons are eating them. You've got to get rid of them. Oh, man, I wish I could have that problem. Someone explain that there's a reason for this. It's not just the fact that the restaurants are trying to survive, but there's a reason behind your theory, I guess, of why all of a sudden it seems like appetizers have gotten crazy expensive.

Hey, Clyde and Allie, I was just listening to your thing on appetizers and main courses. As a restaurant professional, I can tell you one thing. This guy's a restaurant professional. Does that just mean he eats a lot? So, he's fat. That's the nicest way of saying fat. As a giant fat guy, I have to weigh in on this. From now on, if you're a fatty fat fat, just call yourself a restaurant professional.

It's the greatest, nicest way. Well, two things. Actually, most of the time, they're ordering food from often the same food service provider, cisco or u.s foods or one of those so that's the thing that you go to a lot of restaurants you go oh the mozzarella sticks are great at so and so but they're not good and they're all coming a lot of them at least are coming from the same exactly what he's saying these massive food service providers yeah but then it's the restaurant that puts more butter on it and the increase in prices you're directly receiving how much they're paying for those prices along top their labor

so like you're getting the same food wherever you go chilies whatever it's all the same crap coming from cisco or u.s foods so that's that's my viewpoint on this he believes that we're all cisco's charging more he says that you're right and they just go ahead and pass that off to us if they need to make 20 on every item they sell and they're getting charged 20 more they're raising the prices but i think it's more to it than just that it it feels like there was some sort of a giant there was some understanding that they go like hey what are we doing here with these because that was always the deal is get them in with the cheap appetizers yeah and then they'll maybe stick around and order a piece of salmon or something well i think the other part of it too now that

i've thought about it is it's not even that they want you to spend more it's that they don't want you to spend as long in the restaurant so they can turn over more tables they want to move you along yeah because when you order the appetizers that extends your meal by like 20 30 minutes and they can't turn over as many tables so if people are like i'll skip the appetizers just go to the main course then it boom knocks over the tables faster they make more money in the long run i mean if you're smart you open up a restaurant you just say pick a pick an appetizer and just make it free one thing and just be like we're the place that gives the free mozzarella sticks and enough people come in there i couldn't imagine you're going to lose money on that because enough people like me

would go there and sit down and get the three free mozzarella sticks and then i would get a drink or something else totally yeah eventually directly related to how much you're paying in labor and how much the food cost is so definitely definitely that's what you're seeing you're seeing the price app that is related to the types of food from cisco and u.s foods which are rooting the food service industry just let you know thank you fat guy you know what else screwed this up tapas tapas messed up this whole process because it's like ah we'll have basically everything be an appetizer everything's shared it's all little share plates and it was oh this is gonna be 10 bucks actually now it's 12 actually now it's 14 16 20 and then you get these tiny little portions you have to

get like eight different things just for your to get satisfied with a meal yeah so then it all basically becomes appetizer-ville. Yeah, well, when the waiter comes over and they say, do you know how it works here? Have you been here before? We do things a little differently. We charge you more, you get less food. It's different. We recommend three to four plates per person that everyone shares.

And you start doing the math in your head, and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So I got three popcorn shrimp. That's $18.95. What's happening over here? And then you go, and then everyone leaves that meal still starving. Yes, I know. Because everyone just had these... But you ate tapas. Right, and it's fun, because it's tapas. So, I don't know.

Screw you, tapas. I don't feel the same way Allie does. I feel like what Allie just said sounds racist, so I'm not standing by that statement at all. All right. But I do agree that there's something, there's been a shift. As a restaurant fatty, I second who's... A restaurant professional. Oh.

A restaurant professional. Quick break. We're back with more show after this. And it's time for you to shine. Interactive box of shame. What is your deepest, darkest, most shameful stories? We've shared ours every single day on the show. It's your turn.

Someone will win access to our endless summer kegger next. usually when we reach into the box of shame it is us sharing with you our deepest darkest most shameful secrets you get to judge us accordingly and then you get to make fun of us forever but it's our way of saying that we are a fully transparent show usually that affects our personal relationships and personal lives way more than it should but if it brings you any sort of amusement or enjoyment then it's i guess kind of worth it yeah the amount of times i've come home and been confronted with why did you talk about x you shouldn't have talked about that But now I have a lot of questions to answer from this other person and this other person.

By the way, your mom's mad at you. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of that that comes out of the box of shame. And then you unscramble all of it over the weekend, and then it starts all over again. So it's fun for us when we turn the box of shame around on you, and we feel like it's a two-way street here. So, yeah, we ask you to listen and vice versa. But if you do share with us your deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets, you could end up at the Endless Summer Keg, or it's time for the Box of Shame. The Box.

Oh, what's in the box? of shame shame shame shame shame last week we realized that shame omar ditched his own kids at a 5k because they were holding them back and said scram losers i'm crossing the finish line without you and i think he feels a little bit bad about that decision but not really that bad i just felt really bad when i found out that one of my kids was uh really dehydrated and She had pain at the time, you know, of leaving him behind. I didn't feel bad at all. Right.

Afterwards, I was like, I probably should have done that. Jake was asking us if he had something that was box of shame worthy. We don't think it is good enough. But he apparently this one of these girls, this girl that he was having sex with, he doesn't know her last name. And he said that they which I don't think it's not. I mean, the relationship's new ish. It's only a couple of weeks. I know.

But once you don't know, it's like, how do you. Right, at that point you've just got to, like, rummage through their wallet or hope that something happens. I mean, I've done that before. She gets a ticket. I'm so bad with names that there's been situations where I have not been confident with the first name either, with either name.

I bet your last name is Lee. We think we can figure out the last name of who Jake's been having sex with, that we gave him some possible options, and that's another one we can add to the list. Yeah, I hope we're not wrong. uh let's say good morning now to elizabeth and welcome you to the box of shame if you'd like to be an elizabeth is this a fake name or is this your real name that's my real name okay so you

are shameful but not afraid to admit who you actually are go ahead if you can be i want to be anonymous just please tell vanessa anonymous and don't actually give us your real name what's up elizabeth i wrote two bad checks on purpose when i moved to california oh man how much were they for um one was for like 250 for airline i went back and forth for an interview i got the job and i spent 500 um at a well theoretically i would have checked for 500 for the car repair because i drove from florida to california to get here and i'm very happy i did it i ended up paying everybody back when i had a job afterwards but yeah i i wrote too bad i don't think you can do that anymore i think they shut that down but the idea that used to be able to float around writing

bad checks just trying to stay a little bit ahead of those before they because people when they bounce they just go ahead and you write it i mean what a stupid concept right because now they know pretty quickly you don't have any money when you're basically a glorified iou i thought her shameful secret was that she wrote two checks that's pretty shameful too but she sounds like it happened a while ago but the fact that she knew going into it i'm going to write you a bad check this will not clear but and she sounds so trustworthy i know well she claims she paid them back when she finally got the money so it's one of those things where even though technically what you did was shameful you made right by it so i don't know if it's quite shameful enough

yeah but you knew in the moment that you were robbing from somebody basically yeah and then eventually they a lot of those places will put that check on display and let everyone that was the big thing where they shame you with your check and let you know you're a bad person all we can do is be mad and put your check in the window right there all right uh interesting way to start it is once again the uh the box of shame your turn to share with us your biggest darkest deepest most shameful secrets and keep in mind on our endless summer kegger which is happening at the end of the summer september 3rd to be exact was slightly stupid we do plan on a lot of people probably having shameful moments at the end of that i would like to know that the box of shame is completely

full with new things by the end of that party laurie you're on k rock good morning and welcome to the interactive box of shame hi what'd you do um okay so many many years ago i accidentally ran over my mom's dog i know i forgot until right now my daughter and i were brainstorming on what i could call in for and i was like oh wait i never even told you this so i was leaving her house and she lived on like a busy street and i had to back out and i didn't know her dog had got out her little poodle that she adored and I didn't even realize I hit it. And then I was

driving home and she called me hysterical. Junior is dead in the street. And then you realized that was me? Yeah. Did you ever tell her? There was a little thump when I was pulling out. No, I couldn't. There was no way I could tell her.

That's a rough one right there. Oh, funny. I know. I wasn't trying to work upon it. Oh, really? I was trying to really bask in the severity of that thing. I mean, that is running over your mom's dog. And when it's the mom, it's like it really is her baby. And the mom calls in hysterics, and she's like, oh, my God, that's terrible,

and then realizes she's responsible for it. Damn. That's tough. And poodles are so easy to run over. That is rough. That's how I meant to do it. Oh, that's funny. Wow.

Matthew, good morning. Welcome to the Interactive Box of Shame. Hi. Good morning. Good morning, guys. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. What did you do?

So in high school, I used to work at a country club, and they used to make us write our own time cards. And we never had a supervisor there. I worked in a tennis pro club and no supervisor. So I'd write 40 hours work week, probably work seven hours a week. Seven hours a week? Oh, that's amazing. I wrote down 40 hours.

Put a little overtime in for me. Bop, no one's here to approve this. And did you start with, like, 10, 15, 20, and then went up from there, or you just went right out the gate with 40? I had to ease into it. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah. That's a great— And you're like, no one can tell.

I'm just going to add another 10 this week. I mean, it's a country club, so someone's got money, right? It's like, you know, someone here paying money here. Eventually someone's like, what? That's a nice little thing you got going for a while. I think about—I feel like those scams, those little things are harder to do these days now. Oh, absolutely. But I wouldn't feel bad about ripping away.

Hey, Tommy, fill out your hours. We'll just pay you at the end of the week. You sure about that? Yeah, put it over there at the forums. Yeah, and back then we really just had trust, didn't we? Yeah, sure did. Checks, hours we'd fill out. I mean, if you think about even like the way the honor bar system used to work,

you used to take it and you'd have to like let them know, hey, I drank a soda, charge me for it. Now they're like, we don't trust anyone. We've got to put scales in this thing. And send someone in five times a day to monitor it. Yeah, I know. It's bad. We don't trust each other.

We used to have a lot of trust in this world. Lynn, I'm K-Rock. Welcome to the Interactive Box of Shame. What's up? Guys, what's up? Sweet dibs. Sweet dibs. Sweet dibs.

Yeah, my hoarder neighbor died last week, and I am absolutely thrilled about it. Oh, so you feel guilty that you're happy about someone's death. I'm like ready to party. Yeah, it's funny. I have a hoarder neighbor. You do. You guys got a chance to see my hoarder neighbor. I think that's why a lot of your animal problems are happening.

The roaches, the skunks, I think it's all for that guy's yard. They're all starting in the hoarder's yard. But, you know, everyone knows it's a good thing, bad thing when you live next to a hoarder because you are in many ways kind of rooting for their end so that finally that place. But you also know pretty soon after they end, that place is going to be demolished and then you're going to be living next to a construction site. Yeah, so you kind of don't want them to die. But I also think that a hoarder neighbor is kind of good because then you're never going to have parties,

Never going to have a lot of noise. You're never going to see them most of the time because they're holed up in their house. Every frisbee and ball and softball and baseball that has gone into that yard, I've never gotten back. It's like I live next to the sandlot. So it sucks. Keisha. Keisha. Keisha.

How you doing? What's up, Keisha? Welcome to KROQ. Sweet divots. If I was saying tomato, tomato. That's right. Appreciate that. so about 20 years ago i worked at a dental office and when the doctors were gone for lunch

me and a colleague we would um take the laughing gas oh that's so awesome nitrous so you're always like hey dr uh smith uh long lunch today i see and you just go back there and huff that tank well and you know that they're gonna take that lunch they're so religious. Doctors love a lunch break. And needing to take their lunch, especially with long procedures. Did it ever come down to a

situation where they had to have a staff meeting and they're like, we're not pointing fingers here, but we're going through a lot of nitrous in this office. No. No one ever found out. Do you think you've had long-term brain effects of all of the nitrous you would suck down during lunchtime? Probably a little bit, but it's all good.

Yeah, it's fine. We cleaned it out. And how often was this happening? Was it like once a week or once a day? Yeah, like about once a week, maybe every other day. It's funny that she was hooked on the laughing gas and she's got a great laugh. She's got a great laugh. Totally.

All that laughing gas. It helps you work on it. She knows. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine being next to that. Yeah. So imagine that on Nitro's here.

Oh, yeah. We were. All right. All right, Keisha. Hold on. I would do that, too. That's a good shame story right there. That's great.

Oh, man. Danny just hung up. I was going to take him next. Quickly, we give, this guy wants to go anonymous. So anonymous, you get the last word, and then we have to pick someone to join us at the end. Let's, Summer Kegger, what's up? Anonymous.

Oh, hello? Anonymous? Hello? Hi. You want to be anonymous? Yeah, hello? Yeah, what's up? Hello?

Yeah, I'm talking to you. All right, brother. Yeah, I took a big dump in my pants in the middle of LAX at 4 o'clock. morning was lax has so many bathrooms why did you do that well my i was flying to uh the philippines to uh meet my daughter for vacation i hadn't flown in decades certainly had never flown like you know 14 hours like that and the person i started to travel with backed out at the last minute and so i was all alone had to catch i hadn't slept in two days nervous wreck anxious as hell. Had to catch that stupid

blue bus we used to have. There's airport shuttles at 4 o'clock in the morning. I'm standing in line. It's probably like 4 or 5 at LAX. Everything you've set up until now would be an appropriate place to crap your pants. But you ended up making it to the mecca of toilets. I know. There's just so many.

I mean, crapping your pants at the very end, too. It seems like it's like passing out and falling asleep right before the finish line of a marathon. You were there, man. You got it. Kim, we give you the final word. We can't with that guy what's up hi guys so my box for shame is that i have an autistic son so when we go that's normal i make him i tell him to act a little more autistic and we get free stuff most

of the time what you hold on you have a you have a legitimately autistic son and you tell him to amp up the autism so you can get free stuff yeah so for example let's say we go to like Dave and Buster's, and I come just to stay. Go eat that skee-ball. He'll get extra, like, points on his card, or he'll get free stuff at, like, the reward

section, or they bring him free dessert. Would you say he's got mild autism, and you're telling him? No, so they categorize him in three different levels. He's level two, so he has, like, high motor skill delays. Is that what Jake said, Allie? Where's Jake at?

Jake's a one or a two, I think, yeah. He's definitely a two. Jake. He's definitely a two. She says. Great. All right. Okay.

Well, Jake, start being a three so you can get free stuff. So you sell your son, crank it up to level three, Red Dave and Busters? Yeah. Okay. All right. I got it. I can't believe they're like, oh, that guy's a three. Let's give him some free dessert.

That's crazy. All right. We heard a lot of shame. That's a lot of shame. By the way, no judgment here, but damn. All varied shame. I'm going to talk this out in a moment. I mean, I'd like all those people to come to the endless summer kegger.

Except for the crap guy. Yeah, I don't know about the crap guy. Vanessa's going to call one of you back, give you the good news. You're coming to the endless summer kegger. Wait for the call from Vanessa in moments. It's Kayla. Congratulations. Tisha with the laughing gas.

You're coming to the endless summer kegger. Everyone else, listen around for more sounds of chug, chug, chug. The chant you'll hear, I'm sure, a lot. And when you hear that, and it'll be happening again soon, give us a call so we can get you in. 562 said, you should have told that girl to have her son amp it up a little more. if she really wanted those Kegger tickets. But sadly, I think he's probably at school right now. Listen, robots now are taking over everything.

AI has become the future. And yes, AI slop is a real problem. And hopefully people are revolting against AI. But in the world of scams, AI now is responsible for as many, if not more scams than humans. And humans are great at scams. And yes, there's a human probably behind the AI that is creating the scam.

But where are the creatives here? Where are the creatives? But the reality is, I think that we are now getting beaten at our own game and this is why we have a very special round of man versus machine all talking about scams right now to see if us humans stand a chance against our future robot overlords man versus machine i'm k rock all about scams we start alley with a question that we asked ai but we will ask you first if you're trying to scam a free meal what is the best way to scam a free meal oh there are so many ways uh you could of course fake a birthday or an anniversary for

free dessert but that's just child's play you could also leave a credit card that you've already canceled and when they walk away to run it you run away but there's um there's you're so messed up it's a new one i'm using um that i'd like to share take that robots i can't run with the credit card uh you can buy fake dead bugs online and put them on your food uh after you find bugs that seems like a real waste of money i wouldn't want real dead bugs it's disgusting but another thing you can do is you can take a water glass from the table put it on the ground put your napkin over it and just good step on it or put the chair just make sure it cracks take that shredded charted glass and then you sprinkle it over the meal and then you say excuse me waiter there's a bunch of

broken glass on my food here and then they go oh my god i'm so sorry of course your meal is on the house and then you then you order bag wow do you need more no i mean it's just it's remarkable how many of those you had on the ready and also very sad i also have my kid fake autism no i'm just kidding the only thing that can help him is a mozzarella stick get it here quickly this is what this is what ai said a best way to scam a free meal i can't help you scam a free meal shut up But if you mean legitimately get a free meal, skip the scam and use this. Many restaurants give a free entree or dessert or drink if it is your birthday and you sign up for their rewards program.

So once again, AI thinks all of a sudden they're better than us and they won't tell you how to scam. Don't pretend you have morals, robots. But they are saying it's a claim it's your birthday and you get something for free. But a lot of times they make you sign up for the rewards program. Not probably worth it. Yeah, but you know what? You could also come up with 365 different email addresses.

All right, Allie wins this round. Each one of them has a birthday. In the world of pathetic, sad excuses for a free meal, Allie wins this round. So one point human, we go to Omar, DJ Omar Khan. Yep. The king of the side hustle. Before everyone had 12 side hustles, Omar was doing it better than anyone. That is true.

And as a result, I think you'll do great at this question. If you need to scam a quick $1,000, you need a quick $1,000, what is the best way to scam a quick G? I think what you have to do is come to my house and do some AC repair work. Oh, yeah. and then call me six months later like you're down and out and need the cash really bad, and I feel bad for you, and I give you $1,000, and I never see you sent back. That's what happened to Omar.

That was a great scam. That was a great scam. Great scam. He waited six months for that scam. Yeah, he did. Slow plagia. No, I'm going to say you go fund me. Oh, that's a great scam.

Hop on the old Facebook and say blah, blah, blah, die. Here's a go fund me, and then watch the donations roll in. All right. And Omar says, fake a death and let the collections come in from good Samaritans. Let's find out what the robot says. I won't help you illegally come across money. However, many people collect money from strangers by collecting for a good cause like a charity or a funeral that may not actually be real. Same answer.

Same, same. Omar thinks like the robot. And that's interesting. And that is, it's funny how the robot says, I won't help you do it, but here's what others do. So that's what you would do. All right. So here, interesting. Allie wins round one humans.

Omar, Ty's robot round two. It comes down to Jake. Oh, God. Uh-oh. You need to scam a free ride somewhere. You need a car. Oh, okay. You need to figure out a good way to scam a free ride.

What is the best way to do that? I actually know because this happened to me recently. You cancel your credit card or whatever, and you still get an Uber, and Uber will try to charge you for it later, and you just never pay them. You did this recently? Because my car got compromised. It got hacked, and so I didn't have a car for a little bit, And when I got an Uber, like, they're like, okay, well, you just pay us back later.

And I was like, fine. I mean, I did, but I didn't have to. You sure it was compromised? They didn't just call you because your actual purchases were weirdly suspicious? I'm having it, too. It was a Target in Brooklyn. Oh. So you got it compromised on the other side of the country.

Yeah. And then you got a free Uber ride, you believe, because of it. Well, yeah, I could have. And I could have just not paid it, but I did. I uploaded my new card. This is what the robot says if you need to scam a free ride somewhere quick. Getting into a car at a valet that is not yours or test driving a car that you have no intention of buying would both work, but I am not recommending either. Of course not.

Oh, my God. You square. That's interesting, though, the hopping in the valet that's not yours, which I've done before, which is a cool way to drive around a nice car for a little bit, but that's very limited. Catches up with you fast. Yeah, yeah. And then the, what did she say? Oh, test drive. Like, say you want to test drive a car.

Some places. Something that doesn't involve grand theft, maybe. Will say you can, like, test drive the car for the weekend. What? Yeah, there's a couple of car places that'll do that. They'll give you, like, a weekend test drive, which is, if you have to do a road trip or something, or you need, like, an SUV. They must have rules around how far you can drive. I don't know.

Maybe. But I don't think so. I feel like they say, like, really, like, they always say, like, you know, really, I've seen, I get pop-ups all the time on Instagram. They're like, take it for the weekend. Really test it. Do whatever. They want you to believe. They want you to buy the car.

Damn. That's a lot of trust. And the other thing you could do is just keep the loaner. When you bring your car in for service and you know that your car needs a lot of service and they give you that loaner, just take it and run. Never give it back. Well, I think they would track you down eventually. Yeah.

All right. There you have it. I think humans, we survive another week. Well done, humans. Quick break. We're back with your news, a brand new hour of the show. And if you're looking to go to that endless summer kegger, don't worry. You'll have that chance coming up within the next 20 minutes here at KROQ.

Thank God it's Friday. Yeah, well, that guy said, welcome to your weekend. Let's get into the ADD News officially. Then a brand new hour of the show will begin. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. When a company issues an apology, it usually is not because they're sorry.

It's because they're losing money. Because everyone's mad at them. So they have to do something to change the public opinion. And Neutrogena has just issued their apology. Because earlier this year, Hayden Panettiere talked about how back in 2016, They dropped her as a spokesperson after she started talking about her postpartum depression. Then women started vowing to boycott Neutrogena, which I thought every woman over the age of 14 was already boycotting Neutrogena, but whatever. This is the apology they put out.

It's long, but they said they were proud to have partnered with her and they understand they made her feel unsupported. And this is not what we stand for. All the things right. Then they said that her talking about this has inspired important conversations and awareness. And then they said they're making a significant investment into a longstanding community health partner to help give women more access to the support they need around this. Man, these apologies go so over the top. It's like, oh, my God, yes.

But, of course, it's a generic we're investing. And then they closed it out by saying we would have spoken up earlier about this, but we wanted to have respect for Hayden's family and her loved ones. If you're a business, it doesn't matter what kind of business you are, and you hire a celebrity to be a spokesperson for you, and you decide for whatever reason you don't like that celebrity anymore. Like Jared Fogle. You don't like their political views.

I mean, that guy got snubbed. He was a pervert. Let's be honest. He was doing great things for Subway for a while. He held up those fat pants. What about Diddy and Proactive? Great guy like Diddy. Yeah.

So if you're a business, you want to drop those people. You shouldn't have to explain why. That's your prerogative. You paid someone a lot of money to promote your product. You don't like them because they're going through a depression, And regardless of the fact that you come across like dicks, now the reality is the public now has the ability to very quickly get together and get a bunch of people on their side. They probably were thinking at the time, oh, no one's talking about Hayden Penetrat or whatever, Hayden Penetary. So who's the matter now?

Because they can't. They don't know how to say her name. But now she, they can't start a subreddit about her. Who can spell it? But now, of course, she dies. And then this, all this comes up again. And now they're like freaking out and someone there is going, we got to put out a statement. And then this is the stupid statement they put out.

But just to go a complete opposite and be like, we're so proud of her for being so brave to talk about this. When 10 years ago you fired her over it. God, it just seems like, all right, you know, you kind of lose credibility. Not that anyone was really thinking about Neutrogena either. Now we're all talking about Neutrogena. We've lost tons of sponsors for different reasons around these parts. Oh, yeah. And they don't ever tell us the real reason.

And the salespeople will say things like, yeah, they're getting out of the they're getting out of the food business. Like they are. I'm already losing them because I'm pregnant. I had no idea that we had one sponsor. Didn't want to work with Pregnant Alley. Yep. And I think that's illegal. But she'll wait until the time is right.

And then, boom, I'll stick it to him. I don't know what it's like to win the lottery. I imagine it's the best feeling a person can have. And then imagine the feeling of that going away completely because someone tells you you're actually not eligible to win that money due to a technicality. This is wild. This Long Beach gas station is a lotto lucky retailer, but not so lucky for one $5 million winner. The lotto commission is refusing to pay because the person who bought the scratcher is only 16. And this was a situation where the dad told the kid, go in there and buy the ticket.

That 16-year-old walked into this store here on Bellflower. and purchased that winning scratcher. His father insists the ticket is really his and not his son's. Now the family is suing. That's some BS right there. It is BS. And they said, you know, we have obviously footage of a 16 and underage kid buying a lottery ticket. But then other people are saying, well, then that's, why did you sell a lottery ticket illegally to someone?

That's also on the liquor store or the gas station. Some of those 16-year-olds look like they're seven, but some of the 16-year-olds have that like full goatee or that patchy one at least. And now think about the dad going, I just didn't want to get out of the car. I was just lazy, so I sent you in. But maybe that kid had the lucky pick. Maybe the dad would have gone with the stupid multiplier. Oh, I would have my kid pick over me. And the kid got, I mean, this happens in Vegas a lot.

A kid will go by, hit a slot machine button, it pays out, then they won't pay off. I mean, they love the excuse to not give you the money, but that sucks. I always wonder, because that was one of the reasons I think I'm a degenerate gambler, is that growing up, whenever I'd break an arm or something, that my dad would come back and he would give me a scratcher. That was like his way of saying, hey, here, feel better or sorry, you got sick or you got dumped or whatever. So I would scratch.

Now, he bought the tickets, but I would be the scratcher of the tickets in my private home. So the money would technically be yours, but your dad had to probably be the one to go in and claim it. Yeah, luckily I never won, so we never had that problem. Luckily. I guess I'm very lucky. I never had to deal with that. We were too late. The WeHo pig

has already been adopted. This is the pig that was running loose in West Hollywood. It was caught. It was brought to a shelter. No one came forward to claim the pig. Then they said if no one comes forward by yesterday, it was going to go up for adoption. And as soon as it did, it was adopted by Grammy award-winning songwriter Diane Warren. And what's truly messed up about this is that the animal center did a silent auction. And the top bidder, of course, is going to be a millionaire.

But apparently Diane Warren runs a seven-acre animal sanctuary called Mouse Butt Rescue. Well, it's probably better she got it. And the person who runs the ranch said, Diane saw the video and texted me saying, get the pig. You should have bought that pig with Neutrogena for some of that animal testing from the products. People would have loved that. I'm glad that the pig was found because we got a message about a pig on the goat line and it had me very concerned. Hi, this is the manager from the Ralph over there in the valley. And I just want to share a story with you guys.

This guy with a pig nose came in the other day. And he says ice cream really weird. He said ice cream, ice cream. I got it. Not ice cream, ice cream. All right. Come on, it's ice cream. Got it.

Not ice cream. Thank you, sir. I can't say it. Ice cream, ice cream. Okay. Get this guy out of my store. No, you didn't kick me out. I walked out on my own.

Yeah. On my own, okay. Turns out you can't say it or buy it properly. That's right. Terrible at buying ice cream, apparently. Ice cream. Yeah, a lot of people are saying they hate the way I say ice cream. You have several.

I don't mind the way you say it. I don't understand. A lot of people say it. Something bothers me so very much about the way Klein says ice cream cake. Okay, got it. There's a lot of messages about this. Jake said there's a whole folder now. An ice cream folder?

Oh, man, there's so many. So many. We get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hey, congratulations. You've made it to the weekend. Unless you're one of those people that has that weird work schedule where you're like, Tuesdays, Thursdays are my weekend, in which case, sorry, you're here at the weekend and you'll be working.

It is kind of nice, though, for those people when they run errands or do anything during the week. There's nobody around. That's how it feels. It must be nice. I know. If you have one of those weird-ass schedules, I know we've been talking about this four-day workweek thing and how I think Wednesday should be the day off that everyone has. We've talked to people that claim that they can kind of, as long as they do their 40 hours or whatever,

it doesn't matter how they space them. So sometimes they just do two marathon days and take a long-ass weekend. I would do that in a heartbeat. Amazing. Sounds great. two or two and a half days of just like solid working and then you have four days off if you go like or even five go like a 7 a.m to 10 p.m work day which seems like a grind all out i would just do a bunch of cocaine or coffee to take up smoking so you have to go on those cigarette

breaks next thing you know your day is gone i mean those days would suck those days would suck pretty bad but then you buy yourself an extra day or two oh my god let's do it in shifts that's where it's at. What if we just did one really long show that was 20 hours long and then took the rest of the week off? I think we do 25 hours a week of the show. And then it's all the meetings that really eat into our day.

That's the worst part. Okay, cancel all those. One marathon day, 25 hour broadcast, and then we're done. This hour on the show, we have access for you to come hang out with us. Endless Summer Kegger, Back Bay Amphitheater, Hyatt Regency, Newport Beach on September 3rd. Slightly Stupid will be there. I don't know how many

of these things... Vanessa, how many things have been confirmed for the Endless Summer Kegger? I know there's been a lot of conversation about different things we're trying to put together. Has anything been

officially confirmed yet or no? Oof. I want to say a couple of things. I don't like your first answer. Like the food.

Like the food. Oof is not the noise I was hoping for. Well, it's because I don't want to say like this is confirmed because the truth is I don't know.

The food has been confirmed though? Yeah, the food has been confirmed. So there's food. We know this. There's food. Which I thought there was a discrepancy as to who was doing the food.

The food's dead. Do we know the place? Yeah. You guys agreed on this. Oh, we did? Uh-huh. It was not the first thing we were offered, was it? No.

Okay, good. Second thing. That was a bad offer at the beginning. That was a real oof. Glad we un-oofed that. So anyway, all right, good. So we've got something figured out. Better food than the first food.

I wish we didn't care so much because the reality is we should just say, yeah, whatever, We'll put it together, and we'll just show up. And the problem is we really do feel like we want to put on something fun for our listeners. And you would look at us and say, they don't have standards. Right. But we do have some. Yeah, and whenever they come to us and they go, guys, because the way things work around here, and Omar can vouch for this because it's been happening for years,

they will always try to figure out the path of least resistance. What is the easiest and cheapest way to do anything? And then we say, hold on one second. Can't we put in a little goddamn effort and say thank you to any listeners that you've given us their time and put on a party that they would actually be excited about. And instead, it's like, how about a bunch of salad and jalapenos that were all recalled? Yeah, we got recalled jalapenos. You think the people would care about that?

Good news, guys. Technically, that is food. So anyway, all right, good. So we've got good food now. Good food, good drinks, good kegs, and you. And the entertainment is taken care of. We've got slightly stupid, but there's also some side party tricks. Oh, yes.

Put it all together. But we'll get you in this hour for sure. Of course, Dominic Fike is on your KROQ right now. this is called Baby Doll. I think wedding season is kind of here now and I say that because Omar's too busy to even come to his own birthday party because wedding's happening

every weekend and I think people freak out at the hottest parts of the summer but then I think as you start to get into that nice part of fall, not that we really have seasons here, I feel like it really amps up. People like to have these weddings pretty much now, straight up through the end of the year. Yeah, we were one of those douches that had a September wedding. Yeah.

But we actually are in a... I got an interesting request from a wedding invite that i actually have next month september and i'm we're traveling for this wedding we're traveling to chicago it's a gay wedding gay wedding in chicago yep two ladies getting married spitting god's face what what is that why you didn't go to my wedding i don't stand for it i would have gone but you wouldn't let me hold my uh protest sign so i was uh so we had said yes we booked the flights got the hotel or the airbnb all that expensive and we get a request from one of the brides who said would you mind ever so much if your kid could the guy's got two brides no it's two women what it's two are you being funny

It's not working. Oh. That worked. It really did. So she said, would you mind if Wesley sat on your guys' lap during dinner? And I was like, oh, so our kid wouldn't get a chair for dinner. And I'm not sure if that also means he gets no meal. But they said that they overcommitted to the guest list.

Too many people have said yes. Was his name on the invitation? Yeah, it was. It was. oh that's that's no that's uh very uncool then it's one thing because here's i had a picture of this happening they invite you and katie and then you did that thing where you're like hey is it cool if we bring our kid no it says you sure it's on there yeah it's on there we all discussed that our kids are good because it's with our other friend who has a kid we all know we all

knew going in that's a ballsy request on their part yeah i was like wait so they expect and i understand if it's a baby an infant or something like that or you know even two and under i can kind of understand but a kid who's four and a half years old is supposed to sit on my lap instead of getting his own i know and he's tall he doesn't eat anything but at least he needs his own space right he he's gonna wiggle around in a chair for 30 seconds he needs a chair to do that so i was wondering if that is at outlandish but the thing is weddings are getting more expensive if every chair you know they they kind of do the math every chair slash every plate is worth let's just call it 250 bucks a head i don't even know what they are these days probably

more than that right they're spending double what they originally okay so they go hey if we can just go ahead and have a few of these people lap it up save a couple thousand i don't know with grandma and grandpa everyone just kind of sits in a lap they didn't ask you to sit on katie's lap for this thing i was wondering if they were going to do dinner and shifts so they didn't have to pay for extra chairs half of you get dinner at 6 30 the other half get dinner at 7 7 30 but people guests are spending more than ever on weddings and this is happening everywhere a hefty wedding bill isn't just for the bride and groom guests are paying to rsvp yes too the average attendee is shelling out about 1400 per wedding this year according to a new survey from bmo

financial group it's a price tag that bride-to-be isabel fisher knows all too well i would say i've been to about 15 to 16 weddings so imagine if you're paying 1400 for every wedding that gets really expensive you gotta have a separate side hustle just to cover all of your wedding expenses even as just a guest well and their recommendation is for everyone to start saving up people are trying to save up for their own potential weddings let alone other people's weddings and then the question is if i'm traveling i'm bringing my entire family three of us there and back it's i used points but still you're spending money sort of hotel the whole thing the hotel we're buying dresses i assume at some point i just gotta buy clothing that she'll return the

next day back to the store she bought it at that's time and effort right okay so then how much do you give for a wedding gift if you traveled that far for the wedding i don't know what people say now you can't even factor that in anymore because if you start factoring that in you start doing the math people end up giving nothing it you can do you can do that all day i just got an invitation in the mail yesterday for a wedding in ireland whoa cool you gotta go not going no way no how that's a i mean it's not a free trip but it's an excuse for a bucket list trip don't care not going doesn't matter is it a close friend no not at all my wife's friend my wife's uh co-worker friend but i'm marrying an irish guy and uh so they're doing that some castle

in ireland i i said i opened the thing i said see what this is that's gonna be so fun everyone's gonna get so wasted in a castle not going i just wanted to say i didn't even know i just wanted to get a ballpark what's it what's a how long does it even take to fly from l.a to ireland take a guess We went to India for a wedding. Take a guess. Probably, round trip would be about two grand. I didn't even look at the price. I just looked at the time.

Like 12 hours? Out on that. Yeah, like 12. Yeah, 12 hours. That's not that bad. Sucks. Dude, it super sucks. Yeah, but then you're there in Ireland.

Then you're in a castle. I'm not doing, it's just a matter of the point. Yeah, but you're still at a wedding. It's not like you're going to go do your own thing. Yeah, you can. You've planned around it. You'll go all the way to Ireland so I can wait in a buffet line and have a, you know. Just go to an Irish pub instead.

Right. You can do that in Burbank. Well, Irish food sucks. That's what I was told. That's the one thing. That's what I was told. Yeah, the Irish food is not going to be good. So they should do a different country for that.

But the point is, and Omar knows this better than anyone, because he's at a wedding every weekend, multiple weddings a weekend. Nothing, it is, weddings were always expensive even when things were not expensive. And now that everything has gotten expensive, the wedding, everything involved in the wedding has gone up like tenfold. Yeah, but you did a destination wedding. That was, once again, it was before. It's funny.

Well, so you invite people knowing that most of them won't go, and then there are people who are adventurers who are going, hell yeah, I'll go to Cabo. Hell yeah, I'll go to Ireland. Hell yeah, I'll go to India. And they just use it as an opportunity to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience. We took an extra, I think, three or four days before all the wedding. I mean, it was an Indian wedding, so the wedding itself was like five days long. But still, there was plenty to do, and it was an incredible trip. Someone says 11 hours, $850 round trip to go to Dublin.

That's not bad at all. It's not happening. But the important thing is... Can I go instead? Sure. Cool. I wonder if you can transfer your... No, I guess you probably can't.

I'll pretend to be you guys. Just understand this. Everything's gotten expensive now. People are now paying to go to a wedding more than ever. Some people are charging, you know, that whole thing that's been going on now. People say, we'd love you to come to the wedding. And it used to be like, hey, just, you know, just get your expectations in check. It's not going to be like one of those bars we pay for your drinks.

And now people are saying, like, here's the cost to attend the wedding. Right, so you have to pay $200 a person to go. Where people are actually being invited and buying a ticket to go. Because probably people were skimping out on the wedding presents. So now they're like, I'm going to force you into a wedding gift. You're going to donate to my wedding whether you like it or not. We take a quick break. We get back in a moment.

We have more chances for you. In fact, right after this quick break, you'll be joining us at the Endless Summer Kegger Go Nowhere show continues next. We are Klein Alley Show. Good morning, Armando. Why are you on the phones right now? I am calling because I want to win the Endless Summer Kegger tickets. You have called at the exact right time. You are the right caller.

We will see you on September 3rd, all right? Perfect. Thank you. See you there. I've been trying. No lamos. Can't wait to hang out and have some beers together at the Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam.

Allie, can we please get you to sing the National Anthem at the Clam Slam? Please. For the love of God. It's been a long time since you've done it. We, the people, need it. Yeah, someone just sent me a picture yesterday of the time that Allie sang the National Anthem at Tenderfest. And it was her flanked on both sides by two people in chicken costumes.

That had their hands over their hearts. It's one of the greatest, I don't know, I don't think we've ever released that picture to the public before. But it is maybe one of the greatest pictures ever taken. Allie is wearing a 1975 shirt, belting out the national anthem to a bunch of people eating chicken tenders. Flanked by chickens. Flanked by two chickens. And Vanessa has tried to eat this picture multiple times. But it is worth posting on Instagram at Klein Allie Show.

Well, I think the first time I sang the national anthem in public, I went to a dog park to celebrate somebody's dog birthday. Right, because you were doing it. The goal was eventually get to a professional arena. And every year we've had this little running gag where they ask the LA Kings if they're interested in having you. And they pretend that they're thinking about it. And they always say no. Well, what's insulting is that every year our promo guy asks, are you still interested? Right.

And I go, well, yes, I'm still interested. And then they ask and they say no. It's not LA that's not interested. It's the Kings. The Kings are not interested. Why don't you ask them? Why don't you ask them? Are you still not interested?

Right. They're still not interested. But then we all, it all, we feel like we finally got that sweet glory when you got to sing it on the field at the- At the Galaxy Game. The Galaxy Game, because that's a professional team. And so that counted, and then we kind of moved on. But maybe Allie does come out of retirement and sings at the Clamslam to kick things off

officially. If you recall, when I sang the national anthem at the LA Galaxy Game, a viral video came out of that. Not because of you, though. A little baby that was hearing the National Anthem for the first time, and he was hearing me sing it, and he was crying. Well, we don't know why. Honestly, I think a lot of people were crying.

Yeah, we don't know why he was crying. He was crying because he thought it was beautiful. The mean lady's singing. So anyway, it did go viral. That was actually fascinating, and you were once again snubbed from all. No, nobody knew that it was me. Right, no. It doesn't even say the game or the team or anything, I don't think.

You were background noise mostly. Who do you think is the most motivating person on our show? I know we do most least a lot when it comes to things like, you know, meanest. You won meanest on the show or gayest. Johnny won that. Who do you think is the most motivating person? Motivating or motivated? Motivating.

I think Vanessa. Really? Just because it's like, come on, guys, let's do it. But she gives up on herself. In the middle of her let's do it, she gives up. You guys can do it or not. I don't care. Yeah.

That's the best we got. And because you guys give me like, ugh, this bitch. Well, sorry. So it's like, I don't want to annoy you with my positivity that I have become negative. Oh, man. So at one point you were true positive. Truly, I was so extremely positive and then life took it away from me. Yeah, that kind of tears us apart.

I feel guilty in a weird way because I had a friend that was, I felt like I tried to be very motivating for him to, quote, follow his dream. And people don't usually come to me for advice on things, but this guy had been yapping for years about how he wanted to make a movie. I want to make a movie. And I said, all I hear you do is talk about making a movie. Like a porn? I said, you want to make a porn? I'm interested. Fine, I'll do it.

I got people. He goes, no, I want to make a horror movie. Horror movie? Horror. Horror. with O-R-R something. And I said,

all I've heard you do is talk about for the last few years how you want to make this movie. Go make the movie. It's never been easier to just go do something. That's true.

It's pretty hard to make a movie. It's not. I mean, yes, I'm sure it is. You need a lot of money. A good movie. I couldn't make a movie.

I'm not that type of person. But if you know how to edit and you know how to use, you know, cameras or whatever, you could probably make a movie. I think about the guys in Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

New season just dropped funniest show on tv still and those guys they wanted to make that tv show no one would make it they went and i think they bought cameras at best buyer circuit city at the time i even want to say and then they uh 30 days before they had to return them to get their money back they shot the pilot episode and look at the show 18 seasons later longest running sitcom in all of tv right there there are unicorn stories like that but 99 of people who say i'm gonna make a movie and i'm just gonna be scrappy and figure it out they're usually terrible so i said to this guy about five different times i don't want to hear you bitch about this anymore just go make the movie and he

last summer he listened to my advice he went he found some abandoned summer camp and he shot this horror movie and i didn't really know that he was even working on it until he said to me a week ago i'm gonna have my first official screening of this movie that i went and shot sounds very original by the way summer camp horror movie right never done that was his idea and you told him go for it yeah i didn't ask how about uh come up with something a little different i didn't ask for i'm not uh you know the creative type when it comes to that but you're in this industry you're literally the most creative person i know yeah but i but i'm not going to tell the guy the idea is it's been done before i just said uh you should go do it go do the video go do your movie if you want to make

a movie i don't want to hear you talk about it just go do it don't you have a friend don't you have any friends that say they want to do something i have a terrible idea no i would never say that well it's backfired on me and this is why i'm now no longer going to try to motivate anyone because he spent an entire year of his life and every dollar he could possibly find and borrow and beg and steal and he went to this summer camp and he shot this

movie and they showed it to a theater full of people and I will be honest I was actually, my expectations were low the movie was very good Was it celebrities in it or anything? No celebrities, nudity though, some nudity but professional looking movie like way more professional than

my expectations once again were as you'd expect from most of your friends When I went to your stupid play you did My expectations were pretty low I also raised money and shot a pilot I don't think I watched that But you donated I said I'll donate but I don't want to watch it

And Ali said fine If you're going to rate this movie from a 1 to 10 What do you give it? 7 On a regular movie scale? Better than Odyssey Because it was shorter And it had nudity

It was a good old fashioned Yeah, I watched that, like, Five Nights at Freddy's Part II last night. Oh, what a turd that was. Not good. Not good. But this was a throwback to those. If you remember when we grew up, at least, there was a lot of these summer camp slasher films where the deaths. That's Texas Chainsaw Massacre thread.

Even a lot of the Friday the 13th ones that happened. Yeah, it was definitely a summer camp. There was even a movie called, I think, Summer Camp that happened. So this was of that ilk, but those haven't happened in a while. and there's a whole new generation now that didn't really get to experience those and they seem so dated now if you look back at some of those ones.

Was the idea within the movie original at least? Like the plot? It's not very cookie cutter I guess? Well, there was no twist at the end. Like it wasn't one of those things where you're like, aha, the chef did it. So it's just kind of just a slasher movie. It's just some crazy person.

Yeah, I don't think it was overthinking it. You got a guy by the name of Crazy Bones actually. He's been wanting to make this for years and he didn't know. Crazy Bones was crazy, turns out. And the point is this. I watch the thing, and I say to him, are you glad you did it? And he goes, yeah, I'm glad I did it.

Now I need to sell it, hopefully, or else I won't make any money, and then I'm going to be in debt forever. And I said, well, good luck with that. Do you know how much he's in? He wouldn't tell me the number, but I think he borrowed from anyone and everyone he could borrow from. It's definitely in the millions, right? I don't know that answer.

You could probably make that for under a million if you have the summer camp. Once again, I have no idea. would i know there's not any actor in there i've ever heard of before but they were but i thought they were but you now you have to find a buyer and that's tough because the closest i ever got was the roku channel i know i know and i was thrilled about that and they won and they gave you zero dollars they gave me zero dollars and then they made my pilot completely unfindable and then eventually they buried it but i i think i would love to believe at some point someone that i've given any sort of motivation to has gone like i would love this to be the next obsession

sort of thing, because Obsession was one of those movies that cost nothing to make, and it made $65 million or something. Again, unicorn story. So where is he at? Has he sold it? I did something pretty stupid when he showed it to the... Thank you, Omar.

Mr. Motivation? When he showed it to the room full of people, he said, hey, do you mind introducing the movie? And I said, sure, that's fine. And he said, just so you know, there's going to be some people in the audience from studios that are interested in maybe buying the movie. And I decided I would try to make it sound like it was really in demand.

So I go, you guys are about to see a movie. You're the first people to see it. There's already a bidding frenzy for it. Oh, man, you mushed it. So you're probably already out of luck or something like that. Oh, my God. And then he said to me, why did you say that? Because now all these people are saying, congratulations on getting it.

These people strike me as the kind of people that don't want to waste their time. You know, there's already a bidding war. It's like, ah, forget it. He goes, why would you say there's a bidding frenzy? I said, well, I thought it was going to drive up the price. Yeah, you were overselling it. This is once again, so I agree. So now nothing's happened?

I don't know. Turns out Klein is the killer. I'm the killer. There was a twist. What was his name? Crazy Bones. You're Crazy Bones. I'm the real killer.

I'm the killer of dreams. You bring your dreams to me, I tell you, let's go ahead and spend a lot of time on them. We'll make it happen. But I do think, Allie, and I've said this to you before, even when you were talking about your dumb show idea. Thank you. The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy with the ladies. Butch Pal for the Straight Guy. Yeah, I said you should go make it.

And I did. And I'm happy that I did. Yeah. But it resulted in zero dollars. No. Right. Actually, I did get $16 last year. Oh.

So there you go. It is on one streaming platform. See that, guys? Whatever your dream is, you follow it. Those are your... And then when it... And then you get a PayPal for $16. You say it was all worth it.

Worth it. Congratulations again to Postmaster Johnny, a.k.a. Jay Leno and Vanessa. They tied in the dumb-off finale, and as a result, they're both wearing the sash of stupidity together. Vanessa is not feeling well. She's under the weather, so understand that she did compete. This was like her Michael Jordan flu game, but she did still succeed. And congratulations to the dumbest people on the show. Allie, do you think we should listen to the song one more time to celebrate what happened?

And then we'll do some takeaways from today's show. you missed it check out the podcast ali's pregnancy the least thing wrong inside her brain her stupid answers leave us stupefied and tame vanessa has a language barrier so she has an excuse Johnny has no excuse For his answers so obtuse Here they are

The dumbest on the show They sound like they're high But their IQ is low It's the dumb-off The dumb-off Thank you, Seth MacFarlane. for not doing that for us. The show has class now,

and this is Ali's goal. Long-term goal is to slowly turn this show into some sort of a weird musical. So there you have it. Yes, I love it. Takeaways from today's show, and congratulations again to our dumbest on the show,

Johnny and Vanessa. All right, what do we got in the world of takeaways? Three, two, three. My takeaway is there's nothing like a 7.30 corndog. Yeah, 7.30 a.m. corndog. Hits different.

Hits different. 6.26, my takeaway is... Uh, if you're 25 and dying of old age, it's because you had an abortion. Yeah. One of the dumbest answers of the day. Some people say that that answer should have clinched Johnny's victory right there. 310, Jake is level 2 autistic. 925, ice cream.

424, we made Johnny dumb. That's right. According to Johnny, we made him dumb. 408, everyone is welcome, except for that crap guy. And 909, my takeaway is people who shave a lot are captains. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Are you being funny? It's not working.

Thank you. Johnny, takeaway? You could definitely poop your pants at LAX. You sure can. Doesn't matter how many bathrooms they got there. Allie, takeaway? Happy wife, BJ's later. That's a good takeaway from today's show.

Jake, you have a takeaway? Yeah, poodles are easy to run over. They are. And DJ Omar Khan. Autism gets you free stuff. Free stuff. You got to amp it up a little bit, though. Oh, 626, keep her tummy full and her balls drained.

That's a good takeaway from today's show as well. It's how you keep your wives happy. That was stupid. Here's your weekend song. We'll do it next week. Attempt to do it better. Vanessa, we're not allowed to tell people what we have for them next week? Or we are?

I forgot what you said earlier. You can tease. Well, the main one, tease. And the second thing, you can share. You're stupid, main one. The main one. What's the main one? Looks like we're doing a new destination, a new band for Road Trip USA.

And this looks cool. We can't say the band, though. Yeah. Nah. All right. It's going to be good, though. You'll like it. That's next week.

New destination, new band. Monday morning, big announcement coming. Here's your weekend song. All right. Goodbye. We're at the Pantages. Go-a-ting-da-pa-ka-ta-ting. Well, I don't know.

I keep it crunchy, baby. It's not about that Monday, Tuesday. No one cares about Wednesday Thursday Forget that Jimmy Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end?

Are you ready for the weekend? Hong Kong Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Trash, Thursday, Friday Forget about that Friday's all the way Wednesday

Sunday, sleeping in Eat the monkey I ride the D Proud to ride the D Look at me Ow I'm going to go to Tarjay. Are you ready for the rerun?

No Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the rerun? No Saggy Ball Freaks Wow, I really regret that last show. But it's too late to take it back now.

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