Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - The Funniest Draft

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hopefully you've been paying attention to today's show

because there will be a Klein Alley Show quiz happening that will score you access to the endless summer kegger, or if you'd prefer, we get you to Ocean Way Festival with the Killers. That is the next manual here on KROQ, and we have that coming up. But right now we're going to talk about funny, something our show does not do well. According to Vanessa, we don't know funny. And that's why we're going to draft funny on the show right now

because a lot of fantasy football drafts are happening, perhaps your wars is going on maybe one of these people that says i can't keep track of my leagues i'm in 11 leagues i've got drafts upon here people talk about this as if they're being drafted off to war they're like it's gonna be a rough week for me i got nine drafts i know but then when you win how do you not talk about it but here we are talking about something that i think is significantly important and that is who is the funniest person on the planet best movie ever funniest movie at least uh funniest scenario that you would encounter in real life and the funniest thing that is inappropriate but still funny if done well something that would not be

appropriate for the workplace or usually around a family event probably get you canceled still something very funny about it so first pick in the round number one which is the funniest real life scenario round goes to jake the nerd which i'm not happy about because but i'm not concerned he's going to take anything that's actually funny so jake the nerd has the first number one overall pick in the funny draft. Jake, what is the funniest real world scenario? My funniest thing in the world that I see

is people getting scared, especially grown men. If you get a video of some kind of scare prank and it's a grown guy getting freaked out, I'd die laughing all the time. Right. Grown man shrieking like sees a bug and gets scared. Or just like a scare prank or some kind of ghost

prank or whatever and it's a grown man, especially a big guy gets scared and starts screaming. It's hilarious. It has to be a big guy? I mean, it's funnier. It could be anyone, but it's funnier if it's a big guy. You have always liked people getting scared. Yeah, it's so funny. I remember when you first started working here, and you would do that big woo thing in the morning. Oh, that was so normal.

And it would scare everybody. It was definitely not fun to remind them. And then you would laugh that everyone was scared, and I hated it. It was so funny. That was the worst. All right, so Jake picks grown men being scared. I got to start scaring people again. That's the first overall pick.

The second pick in this round is Allison Johnson. All right. Allie. So, real life scenario, there are so many that I enjoy, but I will have to go with accidentally naked. Any kind of nip slip, you trip over something, your pants fall down, guy catches a foul ball and his junk comes out, anything where... When does that ever happen?

It happens all the time. It's never happened in history. When were you on Facebook? If it did happen, it would be hilarious. Anytime that there's accidental nudity And somebody is naked in public Even in a concert When a nip slip happens with a costume

You think that's funny? I think you're confused You find that to be funny? When people accidentally are naked in public It's hilarious I mean, guy naked is kind of funny Women naked is hot It's serious

It's a serious problem I mean, I think that when anybody is naked accidentally I mean, in your scenario If a towel falls off Someone's trying to change at the beach discreetly, and all of a sudden their towel falls off, and then they try to cover their butt with one hand and their junk with the other. That's funny there. Or a guy walking through Walmart doesn't really...

Nip slip at a concert is not funny. I think you're confusing me. No, I think every time someone's naked accidentally, it's hilarious regardless. I mean, it's funnier, like, in a Walmart. Accidentally naked. Well, Walmart nudity is always funny. Always funny, whether it's intentional or not. Omar, you're next up.

This is the draft. It's the Fantasy Funny Draft on KROQ, and now we're drafting real-life scenarios. Omar with the third overall pick. So, yeah, there's video evidence of this, and this is one of the funniest things, and it's on our Instagram from time to time. I go back, and I have to watch the video, and that is... Oh, falling. Falling, yep.

And I had two of them to choose from, but I'm going to go with falling off a bike while trying to record yourself because that one is hilarious. It's really specific, Omar. It's so funny. I think you need to go that specific on it. Do you think that my falling off the bike was funnier than Klein's fall in the hall? Oh, 100% because of the whole situation, and then you falling, and then you just got distracted by some dude, and the audio's hilarious. He was crossing the street.

It was loud. Sally falling off the bike. I agree. Falling is so funny, and there are so many different ways for a fall to happen. I like when they just mop a floor, and they put those signs up, but someone still slips and falls. Right. And then someone else yells, you're safe. Like they slid into third base.

That's always funny. God, one of the funniest things that ever happened in my early in my relationship was Katie fell down the stairs. It was so, all of them, all of them ricocheted back and forth. Yep. And then when she hit the bottom, it was just flat silence. And then she went. And then she didn't remember it because we were wasted. And the next day she was like, my whole body hurts.

The falling is funny because here's what happened. You have to wait a second to figure out if it's going to be a real problem. Like, did this person break their neck or not? Yeah, you have to go to the ER, right? And once they stand up, then it's almost like you have to hold in how funny it truly is. And then you get to really... Sometimes it's so funny, though, you don't even have time to make that decision. Yeah, I start laughing before they hit the ground.

Yeah, sometimes I just can't. That's close to what I drafted, too, man. Well, we have to pick a different pick, then. Yeah, pick Paulie. It's close, though. It's close. It's not identical. Well, you're not even up yet, Johnny, so hold on. Omar with a great pick. I can't believe falling slipped a third.

I'm on fourth up, by the way, for a change. I can't believe no one took this. I was so expecting this to go already. A fart in a quiet setting. Oh, yeah, farts. Elevator fart or a funeral fart. I figured a guy would take farts at some point. A fart in the office when we're having a meeting.

Right. Guys love farts. They think it's so funny all the time. It's not always funny. It's funny in a quiet setting. Or when a person clearly thought it was going to be a silent one and it was not. And then they have that look of embarrassment. That is...

In recent memory, when you tried to fart by changing your weight. And I fell out of my chair. That was a combo. That was a combo of two of the funniest things right there. It was a fall and a fart. A combo fart. That was a fartle. I think I invented the fartle.

And I'm proud of it. That's now taken. So, that was me trying to shift my weight in a stupid, flimsy-ass folding chair. to mask the sound, only to then collapse the entire chair. Yeah. And let me tell you, people had a good laugh at that. And I'm sure it was nice to see in real time. And that's something that when it's so funny,

but it doesn't translate if you explain it to somebody. So that is off the board now. Falling is off the board. Fart in a quiet place, off the board. Grown man getting scared was the number one pick by Jake, and Allie has taken at the number two spot. Accidentally naked is always funny. Vanessa, you're next up in this draft of the funny, fantasy funny draft.

What do you take? A dog dragging its owner because it's too big. Once again, this only happens to you, I could imagine. I've seen it. A dog. In 101 Dalmatians? Like the dog is just pulling, pulling. The owner is dragging itself and they fall.

There is a funniness to an owner with no control over a giant dog. I agree. There is something funny about that. I thought you were going to say a dog dragging its ass across the carpet, which is also super funny. That would have been a great pick. Dog dragging its ass across the carpet. Especially when a whole family is there. It's never not funny.

Everyone loves it. And we know what they're doing. They're itching their butt, but it is just the best. And there are people that want to pretend it's not happening and other people that can't pretend it's not happening. It's a real divide. So the number that's Vanessa's pick is dog dragging owner. Johnny, you have the final pick in this round of the Fantasy Funny Draft. Here we go.

I love seeing little kids getting hurt. Like, I love seeing them when they're running in a store, and all of a sudden they just trip and fall and splat. And everybody's just around them like, ooh. Yeah, kid injuries. Little kids getting hurt. That's okay. I will accept that, Johnny.

Congratulations. Little kids getting hurt is the last pick in the round number one. As we move to round number two, Johnny, you're up for the first pick. That's it? I don't even get to elaborate what else makes it funny? I think we get it. You ever see them climbing stuff, too, and you're like, oh, that kid shouldn't be climbing that. And then they fall over, and they hurt themselves?

I think it's funny, and then I think when you have your own kids, then all of a sudden you develop a weird heart where you're like, oh, that sucks. But then, you know, usually kids are pretty Teflon. They'll bounce back. Their bones are all bendy and whatnot. So then it goes to being funny again. Yeah. My kid has recently discovered our yoga ball, and he's had a lot of injuries with that, which is actually pretty funny.

Johnny, you're the first pick in the second round of the Fantasy Funny Draft, and that is the funniest movie of all time. Hands down, it's Nacho Libre. It is the best. It has the most quotable lines. You could say it to anybody, and they know it, and they love it, and it's an instant crack up. It's the best movie ever.

Johnny goes Nacho Libre as the first pick. I don't think anyone else. No, I don't care for that movie. I remember watching it, and I don't know. I also don't really find... It's Jack Black, right? Yeah, it's Jack Black. Yeah, I don't really find him.

It's the best. We go to Vanessa. Funniest movie ever, Vanessa. I really have two options. I really want to say my second one, but you guys are going to make fun of me, so I'm going to go with the first one. I'll go with the second one. Is this a Halloween, a Halle Blue movie you were into?

It's Monsters, Inc. Oh, my God, Vanessa. And Boo is being crushed in the garbage can, and the monster thinks, Sally thinks that Boo's getting crushed, and he's making that face like, I laugh, my stomach hurts. Did you hear what we said? Your stomach hurts? You're laughing?

Vanessa, we said the funniest movie of all time in the history of movies. Okay, that was my true option, but I'll just go with Bridesmaids. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. I don't want to talk you out of this. If you think that Monsters, Inc. is funnier than Bridesmaids. It's so funny. I wouldn't even say the people who were in or made Monsters, Inc. would agree with you.

No. That movie sucks. That's my favorite. Okay. Do you like that ride at Disneyland? I haven't been on the ride. Nothing to see there. It's so funny.

It's the funniest ride. So funny it still exists. I need you guys to watch the movie again. You'll laugh. I highly doubt it. I've seen it plenty of times. All right, Vanessa's taking Monsters, Inc. A Bridesmaid would have been an acceptable pick, I think.

Yeah, that's a good one. Too late. It's written down in ink. That puts me next. Man, this is so hard. I was torn because if I was thinking about the funniest person of all time, they're not in the funny. And I was back and forth between two movies. But I think the funniest movie of all time for multiple reasons is Borat.

That's interesting because that's not a movie that I have ever seen again. But I remember when I saw it in the movie theaters, I said, this is the funniest movie I've ever seen. And I think for a few reasons, I put it there. And I do think if I were to watch, I have watched it a few times, but I think if I were to watch it again now, I would still laugh. That's a huge, to be able to laugh at the same thing that you know is coming over and over again. And because of what it stood for. Like, it was him in these real, quote, real life scenarios. So there were some stakes to it.

And I'll tell you right now, I was torn because I was really back and forth between Borat and Naked Gun. Naked Gun I think I'm going to say for favorite funniest person ever was Leslie Nielsen but I also think you could go

Sacha Baron Cohen funniest person ever so anyway in my category of movie that's it I go Borat Borat is funniest movie

which means we're now up to Omar DJ Omar Khan funniest movie ever yeah well I mean this is a

total classic in my opinion and one of the best people you know that write comedy in direct movies is Mel Brooks, and I'm going to go with Spaceballs.

I just love Spaceballs. That was such a good movie. It's just the whole world that he built, and it's just like scene after scene, the Schwartz and everything. I mean, it's just a classic. I love Spaceballs. Not to interrupt you guys,

but text line is saying, Vanessa, you should check out The Penguins of Madagascar. That'll be your new funniest movie ever if you watch it. And I bet you it is funny. Allie, we go to, you're up, number two. This is the round of funniest movie ever

in the Fantasy Funny Draft. I was having the same dilemma as Omar because I wanted to choose a movie from the same group. Like, you chose a Mel Brooks movie because you find those movies to be incredibly funny, and I agree. So I'm going to do a Christopher Guest film because that's my favorite.

And Best in Show is, like, my personal favorite, but I'm going to go with the overall This is Spinal Tap. This is Spinal Tap. At least that's the funniest movie ever. Just because of what it stands for, it's quotable, and all of those movies, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, all of them amazing. Jake?

Yeah? You're up. Well, Borat was at the top of my list, but I'm just going for straight as much as I last during a movie. And it's either Borat and since that's taken, Jackass. Wow. Original. Really? Just one of the Jackass.

I forget which one, but I've laughed my balls off. It's just such a one-trick pony. Well, there's a couple of different tricks they have. It's a couple trick ponies. The new one was not as good. Too much dongs for me. A lot of dongs. Not too many for Jake.

We come back with another round of the Fantasy Funny Draft, and we'll figure out who's the funniest person on the planet next.