Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - To The Moon, Leslie! (FULL SHOW 9/2)

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

Would you survive a disaster? We quizzed each other on what to do in various disaster scenarios (earthquake, hurricane, flood, etc) and basically we're all dying pretty quickly. Play along and see how long you'd live! Klein got a scary visitor yesterday, a woman who knocked on his door and said he was living in her house and that he needed to leave. At one point she grabbed onto his arm and we're pretty sure she cursed him. She even warned him she'd be back. Is Klein being haunted by a witch? Today we heard a HEATED battle in Petty Claims Court over laundry. Matthew washes it, and Leslie folds it and puts it away. Or does she? It led to a bigger discussion about how to divide up the household chores when one person works and the other one doesn't. Plus an update on Jake's big dinner date, deciding the perfect relationship age gap during Clickbait, and Ally is leaving something very important to Klein in her will, and he definitely doesn't want it.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet David Stank, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. show started we are live in los angeles three two one and here we go low 6.7 kro qfm and hd pasadena los angeles orange county the sonic pulse of los angeles this is the world famous k-rock oh hell yeah good morning welcome to your wednesday here on the world famous k-rock we are clinelli show nice to meet you thanks for coming back for more A decent hour in store for you, a decent day if you want to win things from us like tickets to Ohana Fest, Ocean Way Festival, Universal, Halloween, Hollywood Horror Nights, that's a tough one to say, and of course access to the endless summer kegger known as the Clam Slam, which will be happening. We just got more details about that yesterday, and I'm excited.

Now I'm finally at the point of excitement. First I was annoyed, and now I'm excited. I think that's your normal cycle of everything. Yeah, I'll go back to being annoyed again, I'm sure, when I get in the car to drive there. But for right now, I'm excited, and that'll be happening tomorrow, and I know people are starting to freak out. But don't worry, tickets. In fact, let's go ahead and kick off the show by giving you some access right now. Caller 20-800-520-1067.

We will see you tomorrow if you are caller 20 right now and you are not a lame-o. No lame-os. That's the deal. My name's Klein. Nice to meet you. There's Allie over there. Hello. Jake's a nerd.

What's that, man? We'll find out what happened on his big date last night. Of course, you've got DJ Omar Khan over there, the audio sniper in the back, Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking them calls at 800-520-1067. Lots of chances to win stuff from us today, including Allie's money and moments. So we get into that and much, much more. I had the weirdest unsolicited visitor come to my front door yesterday that I've ever had in my entire life. It was the strangest experience.

And now I am a little freaked out. Solar? Not so. I was hoping. I was like, let's just get to the solar thing. But it wasn't. Let's do it. We'll get to it later.

It should come as no surprise to you that that was Lincoln Park on KROQ, and we are Klein Alley Show on Thursday, which is tomorrow. We've got something planned. It's called an Endless Summer Kegger. We started this summer by finding out some sad news that fun scores were at an all-time low. People were not having fun anymore. People cannot afford fun. Also, I think people have more options just to stay home and watch stuff, so I think there's less of an interest to go out and actually find fun. Well, we also have heard several stories of failed fun this year specifically.

A lot of broken bones. Oh, yeah, jet ski guy who fell asleep or passed out during the jet ski process, almost died. People who have, I mean, it's... So even people trying to have fun. But also, like, people on the street are just going stabby-stabby. True. Another good point. Like, why do you want to go out there, man?

So as a result, people are like, that's it, fun is over. And we decided let's go ahead and do our part to try to make this a funner summer. And it's all going to hopefully commence with this giant endless summer kegger taking place tomorrow. That was our plan, at least, after I realized I couldn't fit all of the listeners into the backyard of my house. So we are doing it tomorrow, and now we are officially at the final, final moment. So we say good morning to our next person who will be attending. This is Chloe in Long Beach. Hi, Chloe.

Hi. You are the 20th caller. You made it through, and that means tomorrow you'll be at the Endless Summer Kegger with Slightly Stupid. That's awesome. Thank you so much. Hey, no lame-os, but you can bring someone, but just make sure they're not lame. Oh, for sure. Okay.

Who are you going to bring? Probably my sister. She might kill me if I don't take her. Older or younger? Younger. Cool. Murder. All right.

Bring her. That's cool. Hold on one second. That's Chloe and her sister. They'll be there tomorrow as well. A lot of people are asking, too, what do we know the percentage of single people that will be there? I don't know the percentage because Vanessa's been talking to people off the air. It's not a preliminary question we ask.

I think there will be quite a few single people there. So who knows? Maybe you meet your next whatever. at the Endless Summer Kegger. What a story. Were you in cuffing season, officially? Or does that start in October? I can't keep track of it anymore.

That starts usually at the beginning of October. Going into Halloween, the holidays. We're pre-cuffing right now. Yup, everybody's breaking off their little summer flings and they're getting serious with their one boo. Got it. Thank you for saying it like that. In case you're wondering, Johnny's a black lady.

I don't know if you knew that, but now you know. Everybody says boo. That's right. Should I dump my Bayer boo? I'm not sure. Johnny's getting you ready for Halloween season It's not the late 90s anymore, man I didn't say boo-thang, I said boo

Man, you turn 27 and everything changes I'm out the door, man Apologies for all that I'm almost 30 Any complaints, send them care of Postmaster Johnny We gotta take a break, when we get back, Allie's got cash It could be yours, and if you want it, call and claim it now 800-520-1067

Easy round, by the way The questions have already been written This is an Allie Knows the News And I think anyone who is let's just call you even dim-witted would be able to beat alley today so if you're ready to call and play and win and get 100 bucks of alley's money the number is 800-520-1067 that is happening after this quick break on k-rock a lot of news happening news breaking all the time and usually the good stuff happens right when we get off the air but every morning we give you a chance to win some

money if you know more about the news than alley who is currently working on the next batch of add news for you right now so you can stay informed while you get through the rest of the show waiting to win your tickets we say good morning right now to jennifer and palmdale who would like to take ali's money this morning good morning jennifer good morning what's more exciting for you the chance to win a hundred dollars the bragging rights the invitation back to the ali knows the news tournament of champions uh the money the money it's all about the money thanks for the honesty greatly appreciate that and we've never done the tournament of champions we talk about it no no we've got a long list of all of the people that are qualified when we when we're

ready to announce it. We're trying to get more money because we feel like if we do an Allie Knows News Tournament of Champions, we really have to raise the stakes. Yeah, I have to develop a new savings account. Yeah. We're going to wait until Allie goes away on maternity leave and then we'll do the Tournament of Champions. With my money. With Allie's money. And then she'll come back

and realize exactly how much she lost. So Allie's going to leave the studios now. Your round will begin. Jennifer, answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately. I hope we can pay the people. The people are you. We're rooting for Jennifer and here we go. Allie Knows the news. Rumors

circulating right now that Tame Impala, Fred again, and Dua Lipa will be headlining what annual festival? Lula Tablada. Say that again?

Lula Tablada. Go to question number two. Taco Bell has announced that it will be bringing back what dessert from the dead? Dessert that has been dead is coming back, thanks to Taco Bell. What is it?

Flan. Flan. I think the world has been demanding more Flan. Like Jesus, Flan will rise again. We go to question number three. Tiger Woods had to make a plea

during his trial yesterday about his rollover crash that took place close to a year ago. What was the plea that Tiger Woods made yesterday? um pled guilty for the DUI pled guilty for the DUI we got a question number four

Ontario got a bit of a shaker this morning according to the US Geological Survey what was the exact rating of this earthquake that happened this morning in Ontario area um 3.2

and we go to this final question a new cast has been announced of what show that will include a Mormon wife, an Olympian, and one of the members of Hanson? What show are they all going to be a part of? A new show?

A new season of a show. A new season. I'll say... Mormon wife, Olympian, and one of the members of Hanson. It sounds like a joke. Okay, let's say... It does sound like a joke.

um damn need an answer three two um one what'd you say the pit the pit that would be funny all right let's bring ellie in we'll score together see how you did that would be an amazing it would be an amazing announcement that was going to be on the new season of the pit all right alley question number one yes sir rumor report tame impala fred again do a lipa all rumored to be headlining what annual festival? That would be a Coachella. That is the big rumor that is circulating. KROQ doesn't usually report on rumors,

but it's getting a lot of buzz. It's been reported by a couple of... There's odds on Couchy saying it's a 91% chance that it's going to be Tame Impala and Dua Lipa. Yeah, so you can go ahead and place some bets on that right now, but Allie is correct, and she gets the point early when she said Coachella. Sadly, that is not what Jennifer said.

As we go to question number... What did Jennifer say? I didn't understand. I did not know. I asked for it three times. Jennifer, what was your answer for question one again? It was Lollapalooza. Oh, Lollapalooza. The phone was cut.

Now we got a question. Oh, it's because I'm driving through the highway of the 14, so I kind of lose track. Yeah, that's right. That's exactly the contestants we're looking for. That's right. That's a good Johnny special. Where are you? In a terrible cell area?

Let's get you on the air immediately. I listen to her. I'm driving. I get it. I get it. I couldn't imagine that every single phone line that had a caller on it were all driving through a terrible cell area. I mean, the answer to that would be... I didn't think I was going to get on if you want me to be completely honest.

Oh, okay. Well, that's where our crack staff makes sure you get right to the front of the line. I didn't even think I was going to get on, so I figured, what the hell? I'm not even going to... Isn't Jennifer's personality so good, though? And she sounds lively? Thank you. And she only cut out once?

For the most part, this is good. Okay. Stop complaining. We go to question number two right now. What do I know? Question number two, Allie. Taco Bell. This bitch.

Taco Bell. Vanessa, jeez, you're all over the place with this, Jennifer. She is a fierce person. Taco Bell is bringing back what dessert from the dead? Oh, my God. The Choco Taco. Oh, that is a correct answer. Choco Taco.

One of the best ice cream treats. One of the greats. When you can't decide if you're in the mood for dessert or a taco, you go with the Choco Taco. And Taco Bell is bringing it back, baby. We go to question three. Allie's up 2-0 early. Question three. Tiger Woods had to make a plea yesterday in a case about a car accident that happened about a year ago where he flipped his Range Rover.

What was the plea that he officially made? You know, I feel like those high-profile cases, it's always like no contest. Okay. You always want to say like not yes, not no. Jennifer said he pled guilty to a DUI, but the correct answer is, and this must be what the lawyers tell you to do, he goes no contest. Which I don't even know what that really means. There is no contest here. There is no contest here.

That is the theme for the show today. We go to question four. Allie's up 3-0. Ontario woke up to a bit of a shaker this morning. What was the official rating of the earthquake that shook Ontario? Yeah, I heard about this. It's a three or it doesn't matter really. I think it was a 3-5.

She said 3-2. The correct answer officially was a 3-4. Allie closest. But no one gets the point on that one since no one got it exactly right. And it doesn't really matter because this is a no contest, as we like to say. And we go to this final question. There's a new season of a show that will have a housewife on it, one of the members of Hanson, and an Olympian.

Hanson? What show? Which one? What show? I don't know. Taylor? Zach or Taylor? Oh, it's Taylor?

What show is it? Uh, God. What show is it? Let's say it's got to be, like, I don't know, Dancing with the Stars or something. There we go. That's easy right there. She said The Pit, which would have been hilarious. Oh, wow.

Taylor Hanson on The Pit would have been. The correct answer is, of course, Dancing with the Stars, new season announced. And they're running out of stars because most of the people on there, you go, who, what, where? Dancing with the mildly important people. So Dancing with whoever takes our calls after season 29 or whatever. Anyway, congratulations, Jennifer. You won no money, but Vanessa says you have a good personality, so you got that going for you. And what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Go ahead. My name is Jennifer, and Ali knows the news. Thank you for including us in your drive to work today. Appreciate you. Ah, man. Weird thing happened yesterday. One of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. It's actually stuck with me now, and the more I've thought about it...

You seem pretty haunted. I'm shook. I actually am, and when it was happening, it was one of those things that was happening, and it didn't really fully... The effect of it didn't hit me until long after I woke up this morning, and I'm still very weirded out by what took place yesterday. It all involved a stranger knocking on my door yesterday. We'll get to that next on Carol.

I know that rarely, if you get a random knock on your door, is it ever a good thing. I don't think there's ever. There used to be those people that would go around and give the oversized checks. The Publisher's Clearinghouse. That was the only. Are they still around? I don't think so, but I feel like that was maybe the only reason. I don't think they even had a business.

I think they just gave checks to people. Once they had to order more checks, they were like, oh, we're tapped out. These things are massive. So expensive. But I think that that's the only reason I think for a long time people would ever open their door for a stranger because they go, maybe it's someone would give me a giant check and some balloons. Especially around here because if you're getting a knock on the door, you're like, is this a distraction for somebody entering my house and breaking in?

It's usually just some kind of a scam. Sometimes delivery. It's weird. I have some Amazon guys that leave and go. Some knock. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Some just drop the package. An Amazon driver knocking?

Yeah, sometimes they knock. Sometimes they'll ring the bell. sometimes. Probably because they've heard of your snack game and your bathroom open policy. That's why. I need to get in there. This loser will let us in. Knock three times on this house and a door will open. I don't

usually pay much attention. I have an app so I can look at it if I have my phone charged, which I rarely do. I'll be like, oh, there's someone there. They look like they're selling something. I'm not going to answer. They'll walk away eventually. Yesterday, middle of the day, Jerry, my dog,

is out in the front yard and he just starts barking, which is nothing new because he barks at anything. A leaf blows, he'll bark. A dog walks by, he'll bark. And he starts barking, but it's a louder, like more aggressive bark than normal. So I just go to take a peek at what's going on. And this old lady has wandered from the sidewalk kind of up to my front door and she doesn't have a clipboard with her. She doesn't, I don't know her. I've never seen her before. It's not like one of those old... There used to be an old lady

that would kind of sweep the street constantly. She died, and I watched her get carried out of her house in a stretcher. That was sad, but... The sidewalk's probably a mess now. It is.

A lot of leaves. A lot of leaves. Dude, why aren't you out there with your blower? I was going to ask about the blowing. The blower is not... I didn't get a good blower,

and it's not... Oh, my God. It's dead already? It's not dead, but it doesn't hold the charge like it used to. I need to remember. Like it used to four days ago

when you bought it? Yeah. I kind of got over that phase pretty quickly. Oh, man. But this woman is wandering up, and she's wearing a big sun hat. She's wearing a neon pink bathing suit top and then weird shorts, but not attractive, but a very strange situation. And I don't know if she's looking for – I don't know if it's a silver alert situation. I don't know if she's wandering around.

And by old, how old? Are we talking about like 60 or 80? Somewhere in that window. So I'd say maybe if I had to place her, I'd put her in the mid-70s. Oh, okay. Yeah, mid-70s. You turned on Omar? Omar's indoor.

Almost at Omar's sweet spot. Yeah. And I say, open the door. I say, hi. Hi. I've been waiting. You're just dry enough. I say, can I help you?

And she goes, you live here? And I said, yeah. She goes, well, it's my house. Oh. I go, excuse me? She goes, this is my house. You need to leave. I say, this is your house.

She says, there's a lot of problems in there. You want it? Oh, you admitted it. You're like, are you friends with these roaches? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The roach is yours? I said, what? And then she starts describing what the house used to look like

before they had, like, knocked it down and rebuilt the thing I live in now. And she's like, an old blue house with a garage that used to be right there. And I'm like, okay. She's like, yes, this is my house. Maybe she was in a coma and then she woke up and was like, I got to go back home. But it's not her house anymore. Maybe she's a ghost. Maybe she's Encino Man.

Oh, so many possibilities. She's a little. It's probably Encino Man. She's like two miles east to be Encino Man. But okay, regardless, she's confused. Encino is just over that way. So she. You're in the wrong movie.

I say, I don't think. I say, I think you're. First, I'm trying to be pleasant because she's like an old lady. So I go. Yeah, she seems like dementia confused maybe. I think you're confused. I've been living here for a while now, and so I'm sorry this is not your house. And she, like, goes to reach and grabs my wrist, and her hand is cold, very cold feeling.

You think she's a witch? I don't know. She kind of looked like that woman from Weapons, to be honest. Whoa, did she have one of those weird sticks with her that had the rope around it? Oh, she touched you? She touched me. Oh, dude, you got a voodoo curse on you. She touched me on my, I got the wishy potions.

Wishy potions. I got them on me. Some wishy potions. Vanessa, did you put a curse on my family? This woman grabbed my wrist in a very cold feel, cold and very strong grip. Like old men have a strong grip, but not usually old ladies. And she grabbed my wrist hard, and she goes, this is my house, and I live here, and I'm going to live here again. Whoa.

And I'm like, what the? And then I said to her, I'm like, and my dog at this point, he even like, it's weird, he stopped. It's almost like he stopped to watch, but he wasn't continuing to bark. And he like got weird. Like he was mesmerized? He was kind of weirded out by the thing as well. And then I said, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. And she goes, you can leave.

Oh. And then I said, if you don't leave, I'm going to have to call the cops. Oh, damn. You got really spicy with her. And she goes, you don't need to call the cops. It's my house. And then she just walked, like in a not fast way, but in a slow, very weird way, just walked. Maybe when someone's playing a prank on you, maybe someone hired an Etsy witch to come visit your house.

No, this was like... That'd be so cool. You followed her, right? Did I follow her? You had to see if she was going to hop in a car, get a license plate, get something. No, I didn't think about that. You didn't follow up with her at all? Because that's a weird thing, dude.

What if she comes back? Well, it was very strange. And then I did... I took a picture. I mean, I looked on my, you know, video footage of her walking up. I can't even see her face in that photo. I know. I got to find the doorbell footage.

You are just so bad at investigations. I didn't think to follow her. That was a curse you put on him. Yeah. Dumb. She gave me the dumb curse? Oh, no. No, she's going to come back and pivot and try and sell candy bars for her basketball team.

So I don't know what to make of any of that. Because she didn't, like, demand anything other than just told me that I was living in her house and it was going to be her house again. I think there's a situation where there's maybe another reality where this is her house. Maybe she's from another dimension. She went through some kind of a crazy portal. In a pink bathing suit? Yeah. Or she has Alzheimer's.

Yeah, that's not as fun as portal, but it could happen. Yeah, it's either portal or Alzheimer's. Did you call anybody? No. I grabbed my wife. So I kind of started to tell her, and then I said, what am I doing? If I say this to my wife, she's going to be completely freaked out and want to get out of there immediately. Do you have the actual video footage of you talking to her?

Yes, I do. And her touching you? Yes, I probably have that on footage as well. And I'm telling you, that was the part of all of it. That was the part that was weird. I felt some weird energy transfer when she held my wrist. Oh, my God. In a weird sort of, like a weird-ass way.

I can't explain it, really. 626 said when she said this is my house you should have said no this is Ram's house Ram's house who's house I've already made that joke about everyone didn't go over well and then a brand new hour of the show will begin

we also have tickets for you coming up for a couple of festivals taking place on the shores of Southern California including Ohana Fest and Ocean Way Festival tickets coming up starting at 9am happening all day long as we ping pong back and forth between those festivals and get you into everything plus the endless summer kegger

don't worry don't fear we have many tickets to give away today and tomorrow before we finally all join forces with slightly stupid at newport beach for a uh one final summer hang uh all that will start happening after this your news grab your adderall it's time for add news well we'll start with some festival rumors that are circulating who is headlining coachella according to calchi the betting site there is a 91 chance that the headliners next year will be Tame Impala and Dua Lipa and a 41% chance that the other headliner is BTS

who I'm sure would have record attendance if you just drive by SoFi right now. I think there's lines of thousands of people just trying to get merch for BTS. What are they, four shows in a row at SoFi? Yeah. I think all sold out and people are

camping for merch. Other rumored artists... If I gave you a million dollars right now, could you name one BTS song? Song? I don't know what BTS stands for. Dynamite? Jake has IBS. No, I got BTS.

Which is also headlining Coachella every year. Every year that Jake is there. It's IBS. Not a line for merch. You could name a song, Allie, or no? Dynamite. Is that a real one? I think so.

Yeah, I think so. Lock me up like dynamite. You should have said, I couldn't do it. And then I would have said, all right, do it for a million dollars. I thought you were going to ask me to name a member. Yeah, name a member. Jungkook. whoa whoa no no i think that's his name whoa junk okay i think that's his name guys which one

i i think his name is jin jin there is one yeah there is a jungkook yes thank you buddy oh he is in bts yep now he is all right dynamite klein you name one that's that's a clip that's an old clip that's not a context clip john cook would be very i just said john cook very offended other rumor artists include fred again oasis radiohead and another rumor was miley cyrus who recently dropped the cyrus she's just miley now but she was allegedly offered and then she turned down the offer because she wanted to focus on her new album and you know when you drop your last name changing your name at dmv is a whole process so we talked about this new trend of putting your text conversations and creating ai songs

out of them we did it for our show the text thread and it was mildly entertaining but one of the first videos i saw about this was a text thread between moms that were arguing about oreos one of them had put oreos in their kids lunch another mom was upset about that and this has not only gone viral it's become a thing that has been shared millions of times and become a bigger conversation about oreos family and the school environment the viral debate about bringing Oreos to school is anything but black and white for many parents. Ava came home really upset yesterday because one of the girls had Oreos in her lunch. A series of posts set to music on Instagram showing what looks like a group chat among moms of five-year-olds at the

same school. One mom, Michelle, says her daughter Ava came home upset after another child had Oreos in her lunchbox, adding, we don't allow that kind of thing at home, and asking the other moms to stop packing Oreos, too. I just wondered if we could agree not to send things like Oreos, chocolate, etc. So the kids aren't preparing lunches. Another mom, Charlotte, firing back.

Does this sound familiar to you? Well, I'm so torn because I was one of these kids that sadly, I never got the good stuff. Never got any of the good sweets at all. I was so bummed out it sucked and I had friends who would get it all. I had friends, you could tell the parents were definitely going through divorce and stuff

because they would get the greatest lunches. and you could tell, like, oh, this must be dad's week because the lunch was like nothing but Oreos. Doritos, Oreos. I understand the idea of wanting to be, quote, healthy for lunches and crap like that, but there's also, I think, a bit of a flex for a parent to be like, hey, here's some Sunny D.

Right. Here's some Oreos. Here's some old school enjoyment. Here's some red dye, number 30. Yeah, because if there's any point in your life to destroy your body, it's when you're a kid. Exactly. Right, because you can recover so quickly.

Yeah, the pediatrician pretty much said at one point, because I was like, I, every day, we're fighting about stuff, and they don't want to eat. She's like, whatever they eat is going to be fine. If they lick the ground and they call it dinner, they're going to be fine. Give them a beer. Yeah, like, she really said it. At this point, you're right. It doesn't matter.

The part when, you know, at our, now, if I would sit down and eat a sleeve of Oreos. Oh. Be feeling that way. Be, like, hung over from it. Please do that. But I would like to do that. And then we'll do a text thread about it. Well, these moms are heated.

Yeah, and then, you know, it goes on to have this conversation about should you not bring it because there are other people that are going to compare. But it's like, yeah, but that's just life, right, is that people are going to have things that you don't have. And that's a lesson that all of us learn. Sucks to suck. I mean, poor Jake's going to school a mustard sandwich. He's jealous of all the kids that have Oreos and meat in their sandwiches, probably. Right, and then there's kids having hot lunch.

and then they're probably jealous that the other kid has a brought-from-home lunch. So everyone's going to compare. That's school. That's life. And by the way, all I hear from my kids is that their lunch sucks and the other kids have better lunches. But then when their friends come over, I say to their friends, I go, hey, my kid said you had a da-da-da-da-da lunch.

And the kid's like, no, I didn't. Hey, your kid has the best lunch. I'm like, what? I feel like you're grilling them about their lunch when they come over. Yeah, I am because I get told stuff. Why do you care, dude? Because I'm being told by my kids, I don't have a good lunch. Dylan has a good lunch.

So I say, Dylan. You just don't want to get one up by another parent? I say, Dylan, how many desserts do you get in your lunch? She's like, one maybe. I'm like, one? My kid told me three. Well, and let's all be honest. Everything really was taken down a notch when nuts were no longer allowed.

No one's getting peanut butter and jelly anymore, so everyone's just sad in general. No one wants a sunflower butter sandwich. No. We're all struggling here. We sure don't. Now there's a new sign you're old. This is according to Gen Z, allegedly. So I guess you decide whether you want to take it seriously or not.

But having your own name as your email address is now a sign that you are of age. If your email is just your first and last name with no extra numbers or letters, it likely means that you claimed it early. Perhaps even back when Gmail was invite only, which I don't even remember. Some people have like Instagram names and it's just like Jake at Jake. You're like, how'd that guy get that? Right. You know, you go, that guy must have been in on it early. But don't you feel like that's kind of got a cool factor?

Like, whoa, you got it back when there was just Jake. Used to be, but that would be like making fun of someone now whose phone number is just, you know, like, you know, old school area codes, which people are proud of that they have one of the originals, because now who can keep track of all the new ones? Right. Well, my first Gmail address, if you are a true millennial, it wasn't your name. It was something ridiculous. Like, mine was my BFF Alley 143, because my friend Elijah created it for me. Right. And it was like, wow, this is fun.

What is our screen name going to be, essentially? And then once I got serious, I was like, crap, I need to have some kind of an adult Gmail. and then by then all of the Allison Johnsons were taken. Right. Once I got serious and decided to make

my signature shenanigans, I decided to get my name on that. I actually checked after we talked about that. It's no longer shenanigans. What does your stupid signature say? Pull up one of Allie's emails. It says voiceover,

radio, acting, and then it has her full name, Allison Johnson. It doesn't say acting. It says something dumb like that. Yeah, it does. Vanessa, read it.

Voiceover, radio, comedy. Comedy. Oh, my God. What's the comedy? I replaced shenanigans with comedy. When does that start? Right now. And you have a website?

It's no longer active. I stopped paying. Oh, okay. Why is it on here? You have a former website on there? No, there's something there, but I think it says... iCloud account and a website. You're AllieJohnson.com.

Yeah, my website is called 404 Forbidden. Oh, I love that. Oh, yeah, it says website expired when you click on the link. See, now that's comedy. Told you. That's some sweet-ass cheapness right there. Check out more about me. No, it's a website, an unpaid website.

I didn't want to renew. I never use it. Not even the, this is being bookmarked for future use. Just a completely dead website. It was not paid for. Yeah. You know what's interesting, though, is my dad was telling me that he, because he grew up in, like, the dot-com era,

where everybody was tech boom in Silicon Valley, and he has, like, some of his biggest assets are old domains. Right. That have four-letter domains that are short. You still wait in the cellar? Yeah, he said he's basically stockpiling them, and he gets offers every single year from big companies saying, I'll pay you thousands of dollars for these domains.

What's he holding for? He said he's going to pass them on to me. Oh, God. Domains. Those are my... That's your inheritance? That's my inheritance. I just found out off the air what Ali's going to pass on to me.

We'll get into that this hour on the show. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning. Welcome to your K-Rock. We are the Klein Ali Show. It is Wednesday. It is September still. My name's Klein.

There's Ali. Hi. That was DJ Omar Khan. Morning. Jake Znerg. What's up? Busy night last night, and of course, he gives no credit to any of us for making that happen. We'll get to that a little bit later this morning.

Of course, you got Vanessa and Postmaster Johnny in the back taking the calls. 800-520-1067. If you're new to the show or listening because someone else told you you wouldn't hate us, three-day challenge, all you need is three days to make up your mind. And it maybe goes the other way. We've had some people that have said, I did the three-day challenge, I'm out. And others that have said, I'm in. So decide for yourself.

It's a real choose-your-own-adventure. 626 said, based on the last conversation, you have to give good things in the kids' lunch so they can trade with their friends. And I know that the schools have always tried to go ahead and shut down snack trading. But snack trading, if you think about it, is a great way early on in life to learn about, you know, getting bamboozled, how to deal up. Get ready for prison. Yeah.

Right. Absolutely true. It's a great life skill. It's one of those things in school. You know, I've always thought in school you learn some of the stuff you need, but really it's the things you learn in school that you really need are the things like the snack trade. How to negotiate.

That's the stuff that you're not going to learn in the classroom, but that's as valuable as any of that other crap. Right, and the kid in this, you know, chat thread is going in with Oreos. So they're the one that everyone wants to trade with. Right. You think Bruiser's just going in there and taking everybody's lunch? Bruiser does appear to do really well in the trades. I'm actually, Bruiser's in trouble.

I brought these dolls home yesterday that, you know, the print guru made for us. And I didn't realize that my kids would start playing with them. And then they started imitating the sound bites. And now Bruiser's in big trouble because this was all day yesterday. You stupid assholes. This Bruiser now just sang the things from the dolls. She's quoting all the things from the dolls now. And my wife's really mad at me for bringing them home.

Yeah, why is she in trouble for this? Well, I didn't think they were going to take them out of the box. To be honest, I was just going to bring them home and put them in the closet where I put stuff. Well, they're dolls that kids play with. My kids wouldn't have played with any. If I had brought them any doll, they wouldn't have played with it. But this one they picked up. You stupid assholes.

I think she's misquoting it. I like to smell you guys' penis. I mean, the fact that she's now quoting this. I smell this guy's penis. It's like so embarrassing, to be honest, and humiliating that she's saying the things from the actual dolls now. And by the way, when I say it, it's very different. I'd like to smell this guy's penis. Yeah, that's my version.

And her take is... I'd like to smell you guys' penis. Oh, McDuty, McDuty Daddy. That's her trying to say, Diddy, great guy like Diddy. That's not that one. Hold on. Diddy, great guy like Diddy. Yeah, that's that.

So she thought that was Doody McDuty Daddy. Oh, McDuty, McDuty Daddy. That's her doing the impression of Allie saying shoe shine. And she thought that it was Ally doing offensive accents And she was kind of right about that You guys are stupid assholes You gotta get Bo Drangles To be a shoe shine

You guys are stupid assholes Oh, shoe shine, shoe shine, shoe shine That's a problem right there I don't like that You guys are stupid assholes I like to smell this guy's penis Woo, woo, woo, woo So anyway, it's been a loud day

At my house yesterday, courtesy of these dolls Oh, wait. Oh, whatever. And then the dog gets involved. The dog's trying to do impressions, too. Spot on. That was him doing Cabana Klein. A decent hour in store for you.

And we've got lots to give you, including access to the endless summer kegger happening in moments. So just keep listening so we can all hang out together tomorrow. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. There's a mystery on the Internet that we'll solve together in just a moment. It has to do with the age gap in relationships and how science has now finally come up with a number. And this is the sweet spot. If you're not the same exact age as the person you are dating or married to, there is a sweet spot. And they looked at tons of couples to come up with this number.

I'm talking 35,000 couples from over 29 countries. This was a massive, massive research that went to figure out what is the sweet spot and what is the best opportunity you have to be in a happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationship based on age gap alone, which is not going to go over well in Los Angeles. I wonder what the average age gap is in all the major cities. I would imagine it's the biggest in L.A. I would have to think so. But, you know, it's nice to see now it's not just, you know, old dudes dating young hot women. Now it's old ladies. Now it's old ladies as well.

So it's nice that it's flipping around. We will get into that in just a moment with some clickbait. So here we go. Bye. All right. What is the number? This is ideal age gap in a relationship. You may think same age is the best chance because we have all the same references

and we can reference all the same shows that we grew up watching and probably a better chance we have more in common if we are the same age. Although I think we can all agree that women mature faster than guys. That's usually the stereotype. But then also with a lot of old, old men dating young, young women, there's weird crossover again because all the things from the old guy's generation

is back. Back again. So the 25-year-old knows everything about vinyl and, you know, all the trends of the 80s and 90s and the old guy's like,

this is awesome. And maybe research after looking at the numbers said that the sweetest spot is you want to have a nice 30-year age gap so that you guys have the same references

just after they've come back in style again. I think that it's five years and I'm only basing that on the most successful relationship I've had it as an example is my dad's marriage and she is five years

older than he is. I like it. It's not your own. No, it's not. Definitely not, Allie. And definitely not your mom who has been married multiple times.

Yeah, the third one's going well, but... Right. What's the age gap in that one? Zero because they were Valentine's Day sweethearts in seventh grade.

Oh, wow. That's like an Omar story. Remember they met, they reconnected at her high school reunion. That's right. And she was there with another guy

and she left with that guy. Throw a goat. Throw a goat. But my dad met his now wife because she was his boss and she was five years older than he was. Wait a minute.

Your dad is now married to a woman that was his boss. Yeah, he plowed his boss. Climbed that corporate ladder. Good for him. But I do think that her being a little bit older is, I don't know, for some reason it works. But I'm just going to say five-year age gap.

Five years, regardless of gender. Okay, because they do have research and it looks at gender too and how it plays into it and if there's a better chance of it being a, quote, older woman, older man, whatever. Omar, what do you think the actual number is? This is the ideal age gap, according to science,

in a massive global survey that looked at over 35,000 couples, and they found this is the sweet spot. Five years is a pretty good guess. And you mentioned that it doesn't matter if the man or lady is older. We're just looking for the number. Just looking for the number. The general number gives you the sweet spot. And it could be a range, by the way.

It doesn't have to be an exact number. It could be a range. I'm going to go from three to five years. Three to five. It could be a range. That means it is a range. Yeah, that's right. It could be a range.

It's a range. It could be, by the way, a range. Hey, but if you say that, if your number's within the range, Omar says three to five years, Allie says five years, so Omar's just prices right in your ass. You got smoked by Omar. Good move, Omar. That was great. Thank you.

Allie's out. Okay. Jake, what do you say? Any other specifics you want to throw out? Allie, two to six. Two to six? I am changing from zero to ten. No, sorry, Allie.

You're so smoked. Allie said five, so she's wrong. They have found that, first of all, a couple things that are not that surprising. They have found that the older people get, the more they appreciate dating younger people. Oh, wow. They needed this vast research study to figure that out? Well, look, you may think you're... Everyone across the whole world likes dating younger people.

And they also learned that who you think you want to be with when you're 25 potentially changes pretty drastically to who you think you want to be with when you're 45. And so maybe you'd say at 25, I'll only date people that are younger than me. And then at 45, you realize, I got to go older now. I don't have all my hair anymore. I'm going to go at 26, 27. But they did find, after looking at everything, that the happiest, long-lasting, and best chance for success in a relationship is an age gap between one and three years. Oh, wow. That's so small.

One and three years. Aren't you five years? I'm cooked. I'm five years. Okay, got it. I'm five. What are you? Two.

Oh, so you're in the one to three. I'm too old. So why are you so unhappy? Hey, it's a long marriage. Yeah. Jake, what's the age gap between this girl you're seeing now? I think she's like three. Three older?

Three younger. Three younger. Omar and his wife are identical. No, one. Oh, one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, I think I was a junior and she was a sophomore when we started dating. Nice.

Okay, nice move right there. Younger woman. Nice. That was so cool in high school. Now it doesn't matter at all. No, it doesn't. Johnny, you guys are same age? Oh, wow.

Think about it. Sorry, she's a year younger. Johnny's counting on his fingers right now. Hold on. Take away the four. She's got one of those weird ones where she was like... A birthday? One of those weird ones?

She was four. Johnny, this couldn't be a difficult question. It's an age thing. Was it leap year? What's weird? What's confusing about it? It was like she was born in the middle of the year, so she was supposed to be in my grade,

But now she's like in the grade under So she was like None of you are in either grade Because you're out of school No, we're just She's not in the grade, dude She's got a job Yeah, I guess she's not in my grade

Yeah, never mind Do you know her age? Yeah, yeah, she's 26, gonna be 27 And I'm 28 So it's more than just one year So how many years is that, Johnny? Oh, one year So I guess I'm just one year older

But pretty much the same I think he's wrong I think he is Alright, well anyway That was science, guys We'll take a quick break. We've got more show after this on KROQ. Kegs.

Let's say hi to Benjamin on the phone right now at KROQ. Good morning, Benjamin. Why are you calling? Good morning for the endless summer. Kegs. Sweet divots. Sweet divots. Benjamin, you are the 20th caller.

You did hear Vanessa say kegs. And as a result, you will be joining us tomorrow in Newport Beach for the kegger. All right? That's right. What's up? It's good. Hell yeah. That's right.

Hold on one second. Benjamin, we will see you there. Sounds like a sick wolf. More tickets. More tickets coming up later this morning. In fact, we're going to blow out these tickets today, tomorrow, until the actual kegger starts. I can't believe that you're not flattered. Ellie, it's a terrible thing you told me this morning.

It is an honor. Not an honor. But I have bestowed upon you. You did it to be a bitch, and you know you did it to be a bitch, and that's the way you presented it to me. You said, aha, one final joke on the way out. And I said, what's that? So I have decided, well, my wife and I have decided. She definitely would not have picked me.

She's actually not part of this decision, but I haven't told her yet. Well, then it's not valid. It's not legally binding. No, next step is to get it all notarized and finalized and all that crap. And we have been going through a will just to make sure there's something in place in case the inevitable or the impossible happens. Not impossible. It's not impossible. Inevitable.

It's very probable. We're all dying eventually. Yeah, I know. But I didn't even realize that there was so much to decide. I'm clicking through, clicking through, and it's like, what about this? What about this? What about your couch? What about your car?

And I'm like, oh, God. Finally, it reaches this new page, and it says, okay, here's where your kid's going to go. Now, what would you like to do with your pets? And I said, well, I've got three cats, and nobody loves cats more than Kevin Kline. So if there's somebody who is going to take these three cats and give them a wonderful, beautiful home, it is going to be fine. So I've left my cats to you. All three? All of them.

I'm going to get more now. That's so messed up, Allie. It's so messed up. So in the event, luckily both of us die, they're all going to you. And it will be hilarious. Allie thinks this is so funny because she thinks it's one final joke on the way out that I get stuck with three cats. And you have to take them, otherwise... I don't have to do anything.

You go to jail. Okay, cursed. No way. I'm already cursed. Reverse the curse. I'm going to... Those cats, if you really want those cats to have a good life, leave them with anyone else.

You will give them a good life because I'll be dead and you'll feel bad. I will feel bad enough to tell you now that I will take them, but I immediately will drop them off at a kill shelter. You're not going to do that. Yes. You're not going to drop them off at a kill shelter. I will. You'll even have them be like outside cats and you'll put food out for them.

They'll be fine. I will. You're not going to reject them completely. But why would you do this to me if you know I don't like cats? Because it's funny. And I'm allergic. You're the only person other than my kid that is even going to be in our will. Isn't that a good thing?

No. The fact that me and my wife and kid are the only people in this family unit. And then you. You are getting the only specific item. How about that TV you got recently? Why don't you leave me that? No, that's going to my kid. She doesn't need that TV.

It's going to be totally outdated by the time I'm dead. But you're not leaving anybody else anything else? Nope. Everything's going to my kid except the cats. Jake, you want a cat? I want an Uncrustable. Okay, I'll throw in an Uncrustable. Anyone else?

No. Anyone take a cat from me? Vanessa's got no animals. She can take... That's how I would like one of your cats. Great. Take three. Well, great.

So you can throw them all against a wall? Wall cats. No, I have that. She's... Allie, I don't... I'm telling you... You can't separate them. They come as a team.

I know you're doing this to be funny. Look, I think you think it's funny, but once you put it in the document, even the fact that I'm going to have to deal with phone calls going like... I know. And I want you to record all of it. Yeah. And I want you to send it to Omar. And I want Omar to be laughing as well and go, at least she was funny.

In your mind, he won't say that. In your mind, you believe that the world, you're going to die. And it's going to be so sad. But then there'll be this one funny thing that comes out of it. You with three cats. And you think we're just going to all be sitting here just doing the show without you? Yeah, this is like if this happens tomorrow. Just prop up your corpse body and do the show?

Yeah, just put the little plushie here. And Omar will play all the sound effects of the cats and be like, oh, Klein, you remember what Ali said? And then you'll be like, hey, welcome to your Wednesday morning. I'm so annoyed. They called again about the cats. They're dropping them off. Now one of them's spraying all over our brand new couch. Do they still spray?

Oh, I don't know. Probably. Okay, great. It all kind of blends together at this point. Are you able to reject, if someone leaves you something in a will, even if it's something they think is good, like, are you able to reject it? You know, there was a tab that said, if this person is unavailable, do you have a backup? And I said, no backup.

She gave my other number This is my all or nothing This is his cell And this is his email I'll put your wife's name No, no, God no To make sure And then I'll pass it on

To your kids And your kids' kids Because these cats They live forever Yeah, apparently they do They don't die It's a long-term commitment Isn't one of them

Able to get pregnant still Or were they all fixed? Well, two of them are boys So that'd be pretty incredible Well, it's 2026 The other one's 16 years old That's going to be even funnier A really old cat

And they start to smell This is the first time I've ever said this. Please don't die. See, now you're rooting for me. Not really, though. Because if anything happens to me, you're screwed. Yeah, well, I'm hoping that Katie and her new husband get some. Best decision I ever made.

You know, we live in a part of the country where we're lucky in the sense of we get access to pretty much every natural disaster out there. Even tornadoes. I mean, if you think about it, we had a tornado here about a year ago that happened. Well, that was like a half second of something. It was technically a tornado. and then we get, there was rumors this week that there was going to be a hurricane that was going to hit us. Yeah, but then now it's not.

You know, that hurricane's name is the same name as the stutterer that we had on the air yesterday, Marie. Oh, yeah, Tropical Storm Marie. Tropical Storm Marie, which is exactly what will happen if you're in the front row of the sublime show. Slightly stupid. It's slightly stupid. You're in the front row of that show.

It's going to be another tropical storm. So I recommend you get a poncho if you're going to be there early for the Endless Summer of Kegel. She's going to be introducing the band. But I did want to figure out, because there's always good to have updates on how to survive these things that happen. I mean, think about today. There was an earthquake. Not a big one. Three, four happened in the Ontario area.

But there are natural disasters. As you know, we get mudslides. We get earthquakes, obviously. This week, now it's down to a tropical storm. But at one point, they said a hurricane could be hitting us from the Pacific. It's hurricane season right now, something that we didn't usually get. We did get a tornado last year. There's a lot of scary news articles about El Nino this year and about how it's going to be crazy.

That's the big one they're saying. This El Nino thing is going to mess us up big time. We've experienced the extreme heat. There was some weird-ass heat-slash-humidity situation we had going on last week that felt very... Anything's possible here, but I think you hear about big earthquakes, and then you hear about the flash floods, whether it's in the Grand Canyon or Nepal, and you think, is that going to happen here? Because you're right, in a way, anything is possible.

Let's see who on the show would be able to survive the longest, and I'm going to give you some actual scenarios that you could find yourself in, and how would you handle these, and listen closely, because as much as this may seem like a stupid show with stupid people, what you're about to hear could actually save your life. And you may remember five years from now, wait a minute, I think they talked about that on KROQ, and I'm not supposed to do this. So let's just say for a moment, Allie, you're in your bed when an earthquake strikes. Great.

Sleeping, middle of the night, because I don't know why it feels like that's when it always is going to happen. That's like a massage. Yeah. What is the most evidence-based action you should take? What the hell is evidence-based action? They looked at scenarios of this exact thing happening and they found that your best chance for survival is if you do the following when an earthquake hits. And I'm talking big one because they keep saying we're at the gates of hell or whatever the experts keep saying about the big one that's going to hit because of all the rumblings and we're long overdue for it and the plates and everything else. They say everything's lining up.

The big one could happen any moment now. Could be a thousand years, but could be any moment now, too. So if it was that scenario If I'm laying in bed and there is an earthquake That's a very likely scenario I would pull the covers over my head and sit there Like a Dutch oven Yeah I would Dutch oven myself

Like you just want to write it out? Yeah I'm going to wait for it to finish before I start running I don't want to run around when there's the ground shaking So you believe I mean I'm pretty clear of Things hitting me when I'm in my bed It's not like there's chandeliers

Your son is... He'll be in his bed. Everyone just stop. Just chill. You're not concerned that all those white lady dream catchers you have above you are going to fall on you? They're going to finally catch me back. They'll get tangled up in a net from one of her dream catchers. I was thinking I would maybe military-style roll off the bed and then under the bed,

but then if the bed crushes me, that's probably not good. Right. So I think it's better to just stay in one place. So you say stay in bed under the covers. Omar, what do you say? Same situation. You're in bed, big rumbler happens, middle of the night. What do you do?

So I'm the type of person that when I am awoken by something like that, I'm like 100% awake. There's no like drowsiness. So I would wake up, get my children, and we're outside in the backyard instantly. How about you're running through a house when it's shaking? You don't know if it's- I am very agile. I don't believe that for a second. Didn't you finish 3.1 miles in 30 minutes barely?

That's Agile right there. That's Agile. That's more of a stamina thing. All right, all right, all right. So, Omar, you grab your kids, and then you move. Are you on a second floor in this situation? Yeah, I'm on the second floor. So you're moving to a first floor and then running outside and standing in the yard.

That second floor can crush you? All right, that's what Omar said. Jake, what do you do? I know the shack is not probably where you want to be when a big one hits, but what is it? It's probably where everyone wants to be. It's probably like a bomb shelter. I mean, we're talking the big one, right? Everything is rattling.

Yeah, but you don't know. When the rattling starts, you don't know if it's a big one or not because you don't know, once again, is this going to be the big one? If it keeps going longer than 10 seconds, I'll grab my kids and go into the backyard. All right, Jake, what do you do? I think what they've said is to get in the doorway or get into a bathtub, but since I live in a shack and it's right next to my front door,

I can just roll right out of bed right into the front yard. I have heard the doorway thing. That's convenient. It's going to be the safest for sure. Roll out of bed into my yard. I don't know if science looked into that I don't know if that was part of their both evidence based action

I mean yeah he has less house to move through so it's probably safer I feel like Jake's place is a good place to be for an earthquake terrible place to be for a hurricane because it's a shack it gets picked up in a second I don't know I mean it's just one floor Vanessa what do you do? I'm going underneath a frame

like a like a door frame because isn't that what you're supposed to do? I think that's what you're supposed to do. That's what they've said for years, but now they've looked into the evidence. And this is, once again, you're in bed when it strikes. But you're risking running and walking, being on your feet in a totally unstable environment. No one survived this scenario.

How klutzy are you? Well, the ground's shaking. You can fall over easily. Whatever, not me. You are supposed to stay in bed. Cover your head and neck with pillows. That was going to be my answer. That's what I was going to say.

And Dutch oven. There you go. Stay put. And that is the Dutch oven part you don't have to do. But the first part about stay in the bed and then you create as much. I thought you were supposed to go under the bed. No, I think you're going to get trapped. Things are going to get crushed, you know, and then you're going to be stuck there for a while.

I don't, I'm not going to risk that. You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're getting stuck. But if the ceiling starts collapsing on you and you've got your pillow, you know, fort. I mean, we learned as a kid, there's nothing more safe than a pillow fort. Of course. Moving on. And that's why I sleep in a pillow fort. You woke up.

Yeah, but Vanessa, you're in a pillow fort. You just said the wrong answer. You were going to get out of your pillow fort. I know, but I was going into a hard surface. But now I know. I'm OSC. So I was right. Yeah, Allie was the most right.

Let's talk about this scenario. You're driving in your car, and you encounter a flooded roadway. This happens a lot. We get a lot of flash floods here. Water appears to be moving slowly, but it's about six inches deep. What is the effective rule of thumb that you are supposed to apply to this scenario? Six inches? You're coming across.

It's not standing water. It is moving water, but moving slowly, and it is six inches, but it is getting deeper. What do you do? God, if it's only six inches, I feel like it's drive through it, you can do it. I'm moving slowly? Drive through it, you can do it, which is something that we say on this show. Does it say how wide it is? No.

Okay. It's a flooded roadway, so I assume it's the width of the roadway. I'm just going to turn around. You're going to turn around? Yeah, I'm just going to turn around. I probably shouldn't drive through it if I don't know how wide it's going to be. Omar? Yeah, man, we all saw that footage from Nepal, and that is scary.

Flash floods could fill something up within seconds. So I agree with Allie. You do not drive through it. You cannot do it. You will possibly drown. You got to do that cool thing where you just reverse in really fast motion. That's so cool. You have to go backwards on the freeway.

It feels so cool. Like Vin Diesel. Jake, what do you do? Yeah, you can't drive through it. There's flooding all the time where my parents live in Texas. And they'll have markers for the roads so you can actually tell how deep the water is. But usually you can't pass at all. Wasn't this an Oregon Trail thing?

Cock the wagon and float it across. Cock the what? What? You can't say that on the radio. You can't say any of those things. No, no, no. It's called cock the wagon. You can basically turn it into a little boat.

I think lesbians can say it because they don't get turned on by it. So, Al, you have the right. I can make it into a little boat and go across. That's your plan? In Oregon Trail. Johnny, you come across a flooded roadway. What do you do? Well, I'm going to drive right through it because I got a Ford Bronco,

and my car is made for that, so I'm going to just go right through it. You want to plug a Star Mazda? Yeah, I got a Ford Bronco thanks to my friends over at Star, Ford, Lincoln, and Glendale. All right, great. Tell them Johnny sent you. So, that's, Johnny's right. You're supposed to plug your car dealership. No, you're supposed to, once again, this is the safe way.

Turn around, don't drown, is what they say. Even six inches of moving water can reach the bottom of most passengers' cars, cause loss of control, stall the engine out, making your car pretty much useless. Right. And then you're the person stuck on top of your car trying to get rest. Get out, and that's the other thing is you can't, supposedly can't gauge exactly how strong or fast the water's moving, they claim. claim. Even if it's slow moving, there could be a big undercurrent or something. Let's talk about this scenario. So, everyone

did the right thing there. You survived. But a hurricane, we're supposed to get a hurricane, potentially. And this hurricane was going to be a big one. It sounded like this. And it's it's it's slightly stupid.

You're in your kitchen. You're in your kitchen, and the hurricane, you did not listen to the evacuation orders. You were told to evacuate, but you decided, I'm going to stay put. And then you realize the hurricane is now hitting, and it is much stronger than you anticipated. What do you do? I don't know crap about hurricanes. Let's see. I don't think there's anything you can do.

I feel like in these situations, everyone just dies. I guess I would get... That's a good philosophy to have. Well, I mean, in a hurricane, I feel like it's just devastating. I mean, if you're in your house and you're not in a hurricane for California, nobody has those, like, basements that you run into. No one has those little, like, hideaways that they have on the East Coast. So I guess I would just go bathtub.

Now, he says bathtub if you have it. Omar, hurricane. You were told to evacuate. You said, ah, it's not going to be that bad. You stay put. Then it hits, and it's a lot stronger than you thought. What do you do? I run outside, hop in my car, and I outrun the hurricane.

Oh, cool. Okay, storm chaser, but you let the storm chase you. He's agile. I'm a storm chasee. Jake, you're in the shack now. What do you do? Oh, man. A hurricane?

I think you just brace and ride it out. You float away with the shack. Okay, that applies to only you. It's like a captain dying with the boat. It's like the Wizard of Oz. He goes down with the shack. I'm going off to meet the munchkins. They claim that if you are in a hurricane,

Hurricane, and you decide to stay put, and you avoided the evacuation orders. You need to go to the most internal, hopefully windowless room of your structure that you can go to. Bathroom. They say you must keep your shoes on. That's a big one. Okay. Like Trump said, got to get my shoes. Because you don't know what to do.

Because of all the debris, and that's one of those things you don't think about afterwards. Shoes on, and then you want to basically get to the lowest possible level of wherever you stay. that doesn't have the risk of flooding. So whatever that means. Whatever that means. They're saying that is your best chance for survival of a hurricane. But it must be that room, whatever internal space you have, preferably no windows. Yeah, but what if there's a bunch of water building up?

Why would you go down to the water and not go up? They're saying lowest possible, because up, I think, is the wind is going to be stronger. So that's why they say you want to be the lowest level without the risk of flooding. That's where all the cars and cows are floating around. That's right. So now we've helped you stay alive for another day. We have more show after this on KROQ. And those tickets, if you'd like to go to Ohana Fest,

we have them for you coming up in about 15 minutes right here on KROQ. We'll get into your ADD news right now. And then the second that is done, we need you to call us if you'd like to go to Ohana Fest. And I don't see why you wouldn't. See some Pearl Jam, many other bands will be there. Doheny State Beach, late September, we get you into that show. Coming up in moments, but first, there is this, your ADD news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

This news will make you wish that you were a better athlete. There are new roadways being built specifically for the Olympics. It's like a bus lane, but just for Olympians. Caltrans said that they're developing what they're calling the Games Route Network, which will allow all the athletes and the coaches and all the other Olympic officials to use carpool lanes and exclusive lanes that are designated just for them. I'm going to get a medal. So they can get around faster.

I'm going to drive around with a medal. I'm going to go in that lane. If they pull me over, I'll say, look right here, officer. Excuse me. Already won. We're in a medal. And when they say, what sport are you playing, what are you going to say? Go, Evan.

One of those weird ones that no one cares about, like a shot pull or something. Trampolining. Jake's right. Goat effing. I'm a gold medal goat effer. Have you seen the comments on the Instagram? You know, you point to your neck and say, this one speaks for itself. Oh, yeah.

You should do shot put. I bet the thing was just like absorbing to your neck. Those guys have big necks. My wife had an intervention with me about my neck last night. She did? She's like, you know, it really does look ridiculous. And I was like, ah. I said, everyone on the show is just making fun.

This is what we do. It's not really. She's like, it looks. Oh, no, no, this is just true. She's like, it looks so stupid. She's like, please stop. It looks like it's getting smaller, though. Yeah, that's what it is.

She said it looks like it's getting bigger. You know, I talked to a fitness instructor about your neck. Why would you do that? Because I, this guy that, you know, that I've been working with during my pregnancy, I was like, he's like one of those built jacked guys. And I was like, my friend is doing, you know, he's trying to better himself and he's working out. I'm not trying to better myself. Yeah, you are. You're eating Brussels sprouts every day and lifting weights.

But I'm also eating like an animal on the weekends. Pizza, donuts. Last night I had a cup of frosting. Oh, damn. I want a cup of frosting. It was delicious. Vanessa, order us a cup of frosting. Just, that's all I had. No, no, no, even a cupcake, just a giant cup of frosting.

But I said, he's getting a really, really big neck. And he went, ha ha. Wow. All right. He is. That was his advice. Yeah, he just laughed. Thanks for that advice. And I thought he would have some kind of a piece of advice for you, but he, I think he just laughed because I think that's what happens. You're like Channing Tatum. His neck just keeps getting bigger. I wish I was like Channing Tatum. So anyway, they're going to have 369 miles of roadway, 236 miles of freeway and 134 miles of roadway. on local streets

that will all be designated LA-28 and they'll have little blue labels on them just like the bus lanes have a label. And then if you get pulled over for using that,

then you can get in a lot of trouble. And it's supposedly just for Olympians? Just so that they can get around. And I guess it was part of the deal when they said,

if we bring the Olympics to LA, you need to promise that you're going to develop some kind of a roadway system for Olympians because your traffic sucks so bad.

But I thought the first plan was they were going to fly up and around on these little drones. That too. I think the main thing is they're just trying to figure out how everyone's going to get around in a city

that has the worst traffic of anywhere in the world pretty much. Seems like a real L.A. move right there. If we get the Olympics, we will fly everyone around on a drone system and then they're like, alright, they're here. That's what we got. We're just going to build an extra lane I guess. They want to add to the Olympics. Yeah, what happens to that lane after the Olympics? It just goes back to regular

because some of the new roads, they are building new roads. So we get screwed. Yes, that's what I mean. It sucks. Yes, they're building some new roads, but a lot of it is just going to be them taking away a lane from us. Like the carpool lane or Or the other right lane that's next to the bus lane. It's all going to be designated for them, not for us.

And we're going to be stuck in way worse traffic because they're trying to get somewhere for their stupid shot putting. I'm going to buy a Kazakhstan tracksuit and wear it around and just tell everyone I'm an Olympian. Just have a flag. Yeah, just going to ride that lane all the time. A longtime announcer for Wheel of Fortune, Jim Thornton, has been suspended from his job while they investigate some allegations. The allegations are not very clear yet. But this happened in May and seems that now they've at least investigated enough to feel like they need to suspend him over it. But there was an incident that happened on an American Airlines flight where Jim Thornton was apparently acting inappropriately toward a passenger.

And then at one point, the pilot called ahead to have law enforcement meeting him there when they arrived at the gate. They questioned him. He was wearing a Wheel of Fortune jacket at the time. Oh, man. Which I think in general is probably one of the lamest jackets you can wear. Like, it's kind of lame. Like, I can see Johnny wearing that if he's in some thrift shop on Melrose. But like an old guy wearing it? If you wear it because you're the announcer for Wheel of Fortune, it's kind of like you're trying to flex.

Like, nice jacket. Yeah, well, do you recognize this? I'm the announcer for Wheel of Fortune. You're like, okay. So he was what? He was being handsy with a woman on the flight? Again, it's not super clear. Even in the TMZ report, they don't say exactly, like, what happened.

They just say it was inappropriate and that somebody complained, which I assume means it's sexual, right? I would be shocked if it wasn't that. I mean, inappropriate, it's a complaint to a flight attendant about him. So the person complained about him and said he was acting inappropriately. Yeah, I heard Wheel of Fortune is looking for an announcer right now in the time being. So hello, Wheel of Fortune. Do you hear these pipes? Yeah, but he's probably, I mean, the Price is Right announcer role is probably the most famous, important announcer role, right?

Right. Wheel of Fortune is kind of a whatever. Yeah, I mean. Announcer, you're not really, I mean, it's more about the host on that show. Well, I think the announcer just gets to say, Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, they're not announcing prizes. They're not announcing a whole lot. I think they do that stupid thing.

I don't really watch. Welcome back. I don't watch the show, but I think they do that whole like, now I'll program a trip to Tahiti. And they do that whole thing. Yeah. And then they say, you know, you can. And then Marine goes, pick that up.

And then put that little wedge up there. Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's an important job, but I wouldn't know. It's important enough to act inappropriately on American Airlines flight in a jacket and say, look who I am. I just looked up his jacket. It is pretty fire. Yeah, see, Johnny would wear that jacket happily. That would be found in a Goodwill, and someone would be like, cool.

Oh, look at me. Speaking of old people, there is a new secret to long life, according to this old lady. She's 100 years old, and apparently she's been eating the same thing for dinner every single night for many, many years. And this is a clip that's now going viral. 100-year-old woman is going viral. Frida's daughter posted a video of her with her two favorite things that she eats for dinner. She was so excited to talk about them that she broke out in song. I'm in heaven.

Almost. A way to tell because I'm racist. For I've got my hot dog and my Diet Coke. Coke, what could be better than having a hot dog and a Diet Coke? I love the hot dog. She agrees. Well, there you have it. Another secret.

A hot dog is not filling. But multiple hot dogs is great. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now, and the very first thing we do is get you into OhanaFest. If you're the 20th caller at this exact moment, this exact number, 800-520-1067. Let's go. This is the world famous K-Rock. Just imagine for a moment you on the beach watching Pearl Jam,

Bad Religion, Spontaneous DC, Billy Idol, and more. It's happening at three-day passes to Ohana Fest. We'll be yours if you're the 20th caller right now at 800-520-1067. And if you're waiting around to try to win your way into the endless summer kegger, don't worry, we have tickets for that coming up this hour and then again at the end of the show. That is happening tomorrow. So this one, however, is happening September 25th through the 27th at Haney State Beach.

And we need you on our phones in moments if you'd like to win your way in. My name's Klein. That is Allie. Hi. DJ Omar Khan over there. Jake the Nerd right there. And Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking the calls right now in the back. This hour on the show, lots to get into, Allie.

What do we got? A petty claims court battle happening in a relationship somewhere. A couple's fighting over something that may seem petty, but you will become a jury of their peers and help determine who's right and who's wrong. It's been a while since we've done a Petty Claims Court, so excited to meet the couple, find out what it is they're fighting about, and then figure out who is officially going to win and lose. Couldn't be pettier than what I'm fighting about right now.

Oh, the couch situation? How to get rid of the old couch. I mean, I know you say that you're too good to just put it on the side of the road and say free, but I'm telling you right now. In my area, that won't happen. There's not enough. I live in an area where there's not a lot of just random people. There's not a lot of like if you're driving by, it's because you live in that area.

It's not because you're just passing by and going, oh, free couch. Yeah, but free couch on the side of the road. And Jake will tell you because he's a he's a big fan. That's his favorite store for furniture side of the road. Eventually it will someone will grab it. It may take a while, but eventually free couch side of the road is going to get picked up. Why don't you just put like free couch on Craigslist? Well, that's what I've done.

I put it on offer up and my wife was insulted that I even put it on offer up and said, Why would you expect anybody to take this disgusting couch and put it in their home? You tried to charge for it? No, I didn't. I said free. And you got any offers? I've gotten a few, but it's like college kids that are like, yeah, I'll be over in five minutes. And then I never hear from them.

And my wife is going, this thing has stains. It has cat scratches all over it. We had sex on it recently. How could you possibly give this to another person? I said, that is the magic word free. You don't have to worry about any of that. It's probably some creepy pervert that would like the couch just to know that you had sex on it recently. He's probably listening right now.

Please, I want it out of my garage. Take it away. All I want to do is not have to pay to have it taken away. I want it out. What would they charge to haul that thing away? Like $100. No, just do a free big item pickup for the cash company. Oh, you're all out.

I only get two a year. You've used them already? Mm-hmm. What'd you waste them on? Ourself. Bulky pickups. On you? Yeah.

That they moved Allie into her house? They just moved me over one spot. You should get more because you're pregnant. I just had them pick me up and set me down. Oh, man, what a waste. It's a waste. That's your neighbor. Yeah, maybe you got neighbors that have used their bulky pickups.

You think I'm going to take their bulky pickup? Nobody uses them all every year. Allie, I'll tell you what. I haven't used my bulky pickups yet. If you want to bring the couch to my place. Can I use your bulky pickup? You can use my bulky pickups. Does everyone know this?

Does everyone know about the bulky pickup? Yeah. How do you not know? Literally, this was new info for me. Yeah, two a year. Two bulky pickups a year. Don't blow it. Don't waste it.

If you have something big and annoying that you want to get rid of. There's like another number you call, a 311 or something. Yeah, and you set it up and they know. And you have to tell them what it is and they'll pick it up for you. And they're all annoyed and stuff, but they do it. Yeah, they get pissed off, but they're like, oh, she wrote it down. They have to take it. Yeah, I have to take it.

Sometimes they'll even say things like, you know, there's a special number to call for this. And you're like, yeah, I called the number. 3-1-1, called it. And then they're like, oh, crap. And they take it. Well, I could also donate it to some kind of charity. But I don't think, I think even the charity would be insulted. Yeah, they wouldn't want that at all.

Hey, Angie. Hey, good morning. Good morning. You are the 20th caller. What are we giving away? Ohana. Yes. I know what we're giving Vanessa.

I was seeing if she knew. But thank you. Yes, Ohana Fest tickets. Those are yours. Congratulations. Vanessa knows what's happening around here, and you are going to OhanaFest. So hold on one second and enjoy the show. All right, what do we have going on this hour?

Anyone know? Ohana. That's right. I know, I know. Go ahead, Allie. What is it? We're going to do a petty claims court. That's right, petty claims court.

And more after a Queens of Stone and John K. Rock, Glenn Alley show. I will rarely ever admit that Jake is right, because usually he is not. But Jake will never admit when he's wrong. And in this particular case, I don't want to say he is a trendsetter because I think that if you look at Jake, you would say that is far from the truth. But this is crazy, and I will say it's interesting that it's happening at the exact same time that he's starting a new relationship. Allie, listen to this.

The dating game is not for the faint of heart, and apparently it's also not for faint smells. Now, Jake is by far the smelliest on the show, and he always claims that his smell is, quote, his natural musk and that, quote, chicks dig it. And you do use, like, oils and stuff like that, but even things that, like, I had Jake's hoodie in my car when it was Coachella, and the whole car, and I was told by my wife, do not bring that in the house, because it will smell up the whole house, and then we won't be able to get the smell out. And she was right. I drove Jake to Big Bear, and immediately upon my return, terminated my lease early so I could get rid of the car that he rode in.

That's how terrible the smell was. It's not that it's a garbage smell. It's just a Jake smell. Yeah, it's just Jake. And some people do like that smell and other people don't. And apparently we are all wrong and Jake is right. A new trend among teen boys and young men has emerged and it's all a bit on the nose. It's called pheromone maxing.

And like all bizarre new ideas, it was, of course, born on TikTok. The theory behind it is that a man's strong, natural musk makes him more sexually attractive. Is it possible, is it possible in some weird reality that Jake's smell that we all find revolting is actually something that is turning on other women? It highly depends on your initial attraction to the person. Like, don't you get kind of turned on by, do you like your wife's smell? Just her person's smell? But they're saying that the pheromone smell is more powerful than the actual physical attractiveness. And that if you smelled first, your DNA, especially if, like, they've done these blind, they've done these speed dating, blind dating thing where people just smell a bunch of dirty t-shirts.

And they try to pick the person. Why is that not a dating show on Netflix? I don't know. But they've done it in real life. And then they say that people, that that is actually the most foolproof way to determine if you're going to find, like, someone that you are actually compatible with is just trusting your nose. Well, that goes back to, like, animal instinct. Right, of course. Saying, okay, I'm smelling out my partner.

It's not about attractiveness. It's about who I'm being pulled to be with. That's why women used to grow these big booshes, Allie, like you have now because it's supposed to keep in. It's kind of a half boosh. It's to keep that pheromone smell like in a nest of stank so that it's supposed to attract your partner. That's the reality. And it worked. I don't know how.

It's working for the right people, but for the wrong people, it is not working. Yeah, I know. You have to count on the fact that you have a good natural smell. And there are a lot of people that do, but there's a lot of people that don't. And they know that they need to be wearing perfume or cologne or they need to be masking their natural smell on a regular basis. And in my, I'm not, I don't consider myself to be a smelly person, but I don't shower every single day. What? No, she doesn't shower.

She's, Ali said it. Even on days she works out, she doesn't shower sometimes. It depends on how hard the work, if I am a sweaty workout, then yeah, I will. But sometimes I'll just, if I do like strength training without cardio, I don't, I might not sweat that much at all. You may remember the story we talked about years ago, but that they said that if you're not having a lot of sex in your relationship and you have a lot of like glade plug-ins and a bunch of stuff like masking the natural odors, that that is part of the reason why. Because you are basically fooling your body out of getting that pheromone stank.

And Jake is saying that his natural musk, even though we all are very turned off by it, there are the right people, the people that want to procreate in a very like, you know, technical scientific term, even though they just want to bang for the night. They're sensing that there's something about Jake's smell that draws them closer. And this is now a thing. We'll skip over a few of the more nauseating steps, but it involves skipping showers and deodorant before a date to allow one's natural scent to take over. Saying basically that this is now proving that if I cover up with cologne and deodorant, I'm not having any luck. But when I go more natural and I'm letting out all my natural stank, it is working and I'm attracting more people.

Two things. One, do you feel people are covering up for something when they have heavy perfume or cologne? Yeah, always. Secondly, there is a fine line between natural musk and BO. And if you are not wearing deodorant, you are taking that risk. Think about the many heat waves we've had. Maybe at the beginning of the day, it's a cute natural musk, but by the end of the day, you just smell. Jake, when you're walking around sniffing pits during the pit stops, do you ever find yourself getting strangely aroused by a certain smell? You don't know why, but you smell a woman and you go like, there's something about that now I'm into.

like that butt sniffer guy? No, I'm not like the butt sniffer guy, if that's what you're asking. No, but I mean, do you ever find yourself getting a natural musk of someone else and being like, oh. I don't think it's a natural musk, because women don't have musk.

Women have musk. Yeah, they do. Women have musk. Not the ones I smell. Women have, everyone has musk. I guarantee you, Moist Joyce has a musk. Oh, yeah. Moist Joyce is 80% musk.

Some even go as far as wearing dirty clothes to really get those pheromones out in the air and hopefully find their perfect match. But does it really work? The data is inconclusive. Oh, there you have it. After all of that, no one knows. All I know is I have had this blankie for decades.

And that is a blankie that I sleep with every night and it smells like me. And you've smelled that before. Oh, Tara, I tasted it. Yeah, you put it in your mouth. Yeah, I lost a bet and I had to eat some of Ali's blankie and that thing was gross. Is that a natural musk that people love?

No, not people. you you like your own smell right uncomforted so understand that if you're not having a lot of luck and jake is maybe there's something to it and i hate to say this about skipping the deodorant the showers and putting on a dirty shirt but there is something and i know that there's something inconclusive about it i've never had a hot streak i would never say at any point in my dating life that i have like a hot streak but i did have a shirt that i used to think was like a lucky shirt because when i wore it the first time i wore it out ever when it was new i had i went home with someone and then i wore it again like three weeks later and went home with someone and i wouldn't

wash the shirt because i thought maybe that there was something about i want to wash the luck out of the shirt and now i'm thinking back to that going maybe there was something about the idea that i wasn't washing the shirt and it was yeah but at what point did you realize it was no longer a lucky shirt a third time i work or like and then every time months and months of it being disgusting and dirty and then my lucky shirt yeah i'm not washing and then you turn into jake that's the that's the risk you're on slippery slope we're back in a moment with a petty claims court we needs you to be in the jury so go nowhere we need you after this and to reward you we will get you into our endless summer kegger if you participate in petty claims court which is now a chance to

join us tomorrow for the endless summer kegger if you listen to this petty claims court and when we ask you to vote just have to text in who you're voting for we're going to meet a couple in a moment they're fighting over something that may seem small but perhaps something happening in your relationship and if you're not in a relationship don't worry one day you will be and this will probably happen there and if you help us vote determine who's right who's wrong and who wins, then you could get yourself tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger. Vanessa will pick one of the people who votes randomly, one of the phone numbers to text us in, call you back, and invite you.

So be ready to vote and listen to this. In the legal system, cases are tried from Supreme Courts to Small Claims Court. But what about stuff that's too small for Small Claims Court? This is Petty Claims Court. Ah, the hammer of justice. Also known as the gavel. Also known as the gavel. is in the K-Rock studios.

Was Gabble said? I believe Gabble was said by Johnny. It may have been a Vanessa thing. Gabble, Gabble. They always fight over whose job it is to bring in the Gabble. And I had to break it to them. That's not exactly what it's called. But anyway, it's here, so let's meet the couple.

Got a wife, got a husband. They've been married for two years. And that's all we know about them. Matthew, Leslie. Matthew has put in the claim against his wife, which dangerous territory my friend can't go back now you were very brave matthew how you doing your honor uh doing okay uh what is the situation you guys are dealing with in your relationship two-year marriage seems a little early for we've actually been together

for 22 years it took you 20 years to get married uh yeah oh man and you're the one bringing her to Petty Claims Court? And we got married on leap year, so I only get an anniversary every four years. Wow, that's a great move right there. It's a great move. I didn't think about that. I thought I was going to be like a real winner.

Yeah, all right. So what is the issue at hand? Okay, so I bring my wife to Petty Claims Court today. We made a deal where I wash the clothes, she puts them away. You know, the worst thing about washing clothes is obviously putting the clothes away, so I took the sweet deal.

Sorry, before you move on, Are you talking about fold and put away or just put away? Fold and put away. Okay. Yeah, I would agree. That is the worst part. Really? Yeah.

The folding part. Oh, I hate dragging the laundry over to the thing, throwing it in there, doing the cycle, moving it all over. I'd so much rather fold and put away. I mean, the benefit of the... Which is what she doesn't like. Yeah. She doesn't like that part either. Right.

Well, women don't like the part because it's heavy lifting, and also you're the one who has to deal with the stanky clothes. If you're the one doing the first part of it, you're dealing with the gross stuff. Yeah. The second part of it, you're getting clean clothes, but it is... It's your responsibility to get stains out, to separate things properly. If things bleed over, it's your fault. No one separates anymore. I'm a guy.

I just throw it in the washing machine and wash it. I'm the same way. Oh, we're separators. Separators. Allie's racist. So, all right, Matthew, so the issue is you had a deal that was made when you got married that you would do the first part of it and she would do the second part of it, correct? Correct.

Correct, yes. So are you saying she's not holding up her end of the deal or what? Absolutely. The clothes would sit in the basket for maybe three, four days, maybe up until the next washing cycle. And then when she does fold them, she'll fold them and put them on a chair next to the dresser and say, you put them away. And it's like, that was not part of the deal. I don't separate the clothes, her clothes, and be like, here, these are your clothes. You wash them.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. Well, all right. Well, let's bring her on. This is an interesting case here. It seems petty, sure. Yeah, but this is interesting because I understand saying you put your clothes away because you know how you like them to be put in which drawer.

How do you like them to be put? Yeah. There's not that many options. Socks at the top, shirts at the bottom. I will fold, but her clothes, I will do exactly that. I will put them next to the dresser, on top of the dresser, because she needs to know exactly where to put her clothes, in which drawer, where are they stacked. I don't know any of that.

Let's meet the wife right now. Leslie, you have been accused by your husband of two years, even though you've been together for 20, that's just crazy, and only married for two, that you made a deal with him. I don't know if it was a verbal or nonverbal contract or it used to be this way, but he says you are not holding up your end of the bargain. How do you plea?

I plea non-guilty. Actually, the agreement was that how it came about is because I was doing the laundry and I was putting the clothes away. But he kept nagging and complaining at me that I was overloading the laundry when I was washing. So it got to the point that I was like, well, then you wash them, you know? Yeah, well, you feel like it's being criticized, the process. And you say, if you can do it better, then you do it.

So hold on. You used to do all steps. Laundry was just your thing, all parts of it. And then he was complaining enough that you said, all right, you go ahead and handle the first part of it. Yes, because his grandma originally was like, oh, it takes three loads, you know? It takes three loads of baskets. I was like, oh, that's awesome. So I would throw one load in.

But I'm actually dividing and doing the whole process of, like, color and all that stuff, right? And then now he took over. The color, our clothes look discolored. Sometimes they come out, like, brown and black when it's black T-shirts, you know? Like, they get discolored, right? Right, because they're not separating. Socks, there's, like, a trail of socks in our backyard. Well, it seems like he's doing it way wrong if it's in the backyard, but yes.

And he says that regardless of how he's doing his part, you have stopped doing your part the right way. Is that true or no? So, in my defense, I was never in agreement of putting the clothes away. It was folding the clothes. So, let's say I do fold the clothes. That's not true. I'll put them in the basket so that way it could be put away. You know what I mean?

So, you're just intercepting. The clothes are being folded. And I'm completing my part of the bargain, just not putting the clothes away. Matthew, is she balling the socks, yes or no? No, we actually got right here on St. Ernick's, we got a bag full of socks. That's her famous thing, put everything in a bag. No, they're mismatched socks. No, they're not.

That's her famous thing? Even our kids' clothes, she'll put them on a desk next to the dresser. Or even our younger son is like, why don't you put my clothes away? And then so after a while, you know, they get tossed around because they're kids, you know. Right, of course. Yeah, yeah. They're not in the drawer. They basically immediately go right back.

It's just the cycle starts all over again. Grab this, right back in the basket or the dirty again. I think my kids have had shirts that have been washed nine times before they've even worn them once. Really? It's a real waste of water. Yeah, because if they don't make it in the drawer, then they end up getting, like you said, tossed around. So what's your deal? Leslie, why are you opposed to putting stuff inside of the drawers?

Well, I'm not opposed to it. It's just I feel like, you know, I have a teenager. He's 13. He could do it. He could put his clothes away. I was like, I already got your clothes. Here it is. And then I have a nine-year-old.

And when I was nine, I was putting my clothes away and washing my own clothes. So I'm still being a little bit more lenient to my own children. You know what I mean? And my husband's a grown man. So I figured, you know, he could put his own clothes away, too. I'm folding them already. All right, well, this is getting heated. Well, I think a grown man can put his own clothes away

if they've been folded and placed right next to the dresser. But that's not the deal they made. He's not saying that. She's saying that's not the deal. Remember the time, Allie, your wife said, do you remember the time that your wife said, I'll make dinner, but then it was basically you making dinner through her hands? Like, she asked you all the, because she didn't really make the dinner, right?

I was supervising her making the dinner. Yeah, and that was... She is considering doing it again. Right, okay, great. So the point is, he thought that there was a deal in place that she would do parts two of the laundry. If he's doing it, I agree what he's saying. There's two steps to the laundry.

There's the collecting of the dirty, washing the dirty. Then there's the folding of the clean and putting away the clean. It's like a two-step, two-step situation. She's only doing one of the steps. Well, but the problem, though, I want to ask about is he is claiming, Matthew's claiming that she lets them sit in the basket for multiple days before folding. Now, is that is that true? Because that's egregious and can also have a wrinkle factor that you can never come back from.

Absolutely. Up to a week. So that that if your job is to fold, you need to fold in a timely manner. Is that what you agree? You agreed to fold. I fold. I agree to fold and fold everything after that. I don't worry about it. She didn't say what time she would fold within. And I think he thought it was implied. But people are all heated on the text line. A lot of people saying, I've heard enough. Get the divorce lawyer up. But the reality is that everyone just says this is one of those solutions where everyone should just do their own laundry.

Do their own laundry the way you want to do it. And it sucks because it doesn't cut your time in half. I know you're thinking, oh, you're only doing your half, so it should be the same. But it's not. No. It's a better system. We should just all have it baked together. Yeah, all together.

But this guy's not separating anyway. So she doesn't like the way he does the laundry. He doesn't like the way that she folds the laundry. So no one's happy with any part of the process. It seems that everyone would like to control the laundry situation and how it's done. So, the fact that he has an opinion about how she does it and vice versa means that they basically split it up, which, again, is not working also. Has he ever ruined something of yours, Leslie? Is there a shirt of yours ever that you're like, put it on, it got all shrunk because he put it in?

Oh, yeah, he doesn't understand sequins or, like, fabric or material. Like, he doesn't understand, like, you're not supposed to dry your bras or, you know. You don't dry bras. You're not supposed to dry certain items. That's right. I didn't understand that part. You air dry bras? All bras?

Yeah, if not, then it ruins the whole firm of your cup if you don't have those, like, fancy cup things. Or, like, your wire comes out on the side. Yeah, those little bra pads end up in weird places. Oh, that's what those are, bra pads. I kept finding these little booby-shaped things in the dryer. I don't know what they were. Yes, it's so annoying.

And then both of them are on one side and not on the other, and you've got to move them all around. I don't know what those things are. Those things are ridiculous. To my defense, Klein, he's only actually doing one part, okay, because I collect the clothes. I pick it up. If I don't pick it up, I'll have my kids pick it up, you know, behind everybody. But I'm the one picking up the clothes.

So you're also the one. You're delivering them? You're delivering all the dirt. I'm delivering them. All he has to do is carry the basket to the laundry man and put them in the wash. Well, all right. I think we've heard enough. Let's get to the voting.

Who's got it in control? Ten seconds closing arguments, and then you will determine, as a jury of their peers, who wins and who loses, this heated battle. It seems petty, but laundry is something that sadly never stops, never ends. Unless you're Jake and you just have a pile of dirty clothes that you let build up for a month and then you go to the laundromat.

Most people have to deal with this on a couple times a week basis. And he's dragging, he's washing, and he's folding, and he's putting away. Matthew, you brought your wife here. You get 10 seconds closing arguments first to go ahead and try to get the jury to vote for you. Go ahead. Yeah, well, I work five days, 12 hours a day, sometimes

I'm sick. You know, I got to throw that out there. So picking up the clothes could be fine. She can do that. I do my part. And then, you know, a deal's a deal. Leslie, 10 seconds closing arguments. Go ahead.

Okay, well, I'm maintaining the house. And, yeah, there we go. That's all she wants. And the job gets done. Whether it's on time or not, it gets done. We need your votes right now on the text line. We will determine who wins and who loses. This could be the end for this relationship.

Just for voting. It's been a great 22 years. We will hook one of you up with some tickets to the endless summer kegger. 800-520-1067. It's hard to keep up with all the voting happening right now on the text line. 800-520-1067 for this petty claims court battle that is brewing between Matthew and Leslie. They've been married two years, but together for 20. And there's an issue going on with laundry specifically because I think both of them sound like they're half-assing their own responsibility in the agreement that they made.

which a lot of people are pointing out verbal agreements are legally binding in the state of california yeah but it seems that they didn't really agree on the terms because they have differing opinions of what the terms are she said you didn't specify that i need to do them within 24 hours so if i'm waiting a week or three four days i'm still folding them yeah matthew says basically he's doing his part by washing the dirty clothes she's not doing her part because she's not folding in a timely manner even though she's supposed to and then she doesn't put them away where they go she just brings them close enough to where they go so it's all messed up People saying that he's not really doing his part because he's not the one going around collecting all the dirty clothes.

She's doing that part. He's only doing one piece of the puzzle here. It's like they're both doing half of their job, and as a result, they're both angry with the laundry situation. But it also brings up a bigger conversation. This is why the text line and the YouTube stream are very heated right now. Because if one person isn't working, are they then expected to do every piece of the puzzle? And if they are, they're going to do it their way. Ain't that marriage, though, Allie?

Are you picking up the slack of your partner because they couldn't do it? Yeah, but if my wife is home more than I am and she's doing some of the things that I don't have time to do, I don't think I've earned the right to criticize the way that she's doing it. But you do. She's doing it. But you do. Well, there are right ways to do things. Right.

323 said this is the oldest tale in the book. No laundry arrangement has ever worked. Well, that's not true, though. There must be ones that have worked successfully. I mean, at least for the time being until it shifts and someone gets... I mean, I could argue that my wife goes to way more clothes than I do. My laundry every time, my little pile's sad. It's boxers and T-shirts, a couple of socks.

Oh, so you feel that you're not responsible because you don't make as much laundry? I don't make as much laundry. Yeah, but your kids are involved. So you don't matter. Thank you. I've heard that before. Okay. That was in the agreement.

Richard, quickly, we've got to get to the ruling in a moment. Go ahead, Richard. Who are you voting for? I think homegirls will win because you shouldn't get brownie points for just dumping the load. You should actually do everything. Well, they say how you do anything is how you do everything. And if you're half-assed in your laundry, then you're half-assed in everything. But people are torn up.

He says he's voting for Leslie, and he's a guy voting for the wife. Meanwhile, we have a woman on the phone. Kimberly, who's your vote for? I vote for the man. Why? Well, it sounds like the two-part thing should be part of the whole process, and she's only doing one part of the two parts she should be doing. This is why I think their whole system is flawed from the very beginning.

They were set up for failure. Rick, go ahead. You're voting, and Allie's been adding these votes up. There's a lot to get through. What's up? I'm going for Matthew, because I have the same problem with my wife, and it's a headache. Are you still married? Yeah, I'm still married.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I got the sense that was not happening. There are so many different votes here. 818, I vote for Matthew. A deal is a deal. And said, I'm absolutely voting for Matt. You can tell by her tone of voice that she knows she's not holding up her end of the deal.

And 714 said, I vote for the wife. Household duties are 24-7, and no, there's no scheduled break. There's no lunch. It's all the time. So, yes, folding is on the agenda, but it's one of many, many things that are going to happen in due time. Leslie, Matthew, Allie's been tabulating votes. We always accept the first 100, but there's been obviously way more than that. So let's go ahead and give you the verdict.

Understand the verdict is final here at Petty Claims Court. Matthew, Leslie, you get that? Yes, sir. All right. And you will live by the verdict, and whoever decides. I mean, it's a jury of your peers. These are people that didn't know you, but they've heard both your cases. They've got strong opinions.

Allie will read the verdict in a moment, and this will potentially alter your relationship forever. All right, here we go. By the way, Leslie wants to point out, this shouldn't matter at this point. It has nothing to do with the case. But she wants to point out that she's the one who discovered our show, Allie, and got her husband into our show. What? Not even true. Yeah, it's very true.

And she said that he wouldn't even be here bringing her to this petty claims court if she didn't tell him to start listening to K-Rock in the morning. That's unbelievable. So I don't know if that matters at all in this case, but it's something. Then it's a mistrial. It is. It's going to be like that crazy woman who killed all her kids. The crazy woman. It's exactly the same.

The stakes are the same. Same case. Jury's all messed up here. Deadlocked. Mistrial. Never had a mistrial here at a petty claims court. Allie, what is the official ruling? I cannot believe this.

This is probably the closest petty claims court we've ever done with 51% of the vote. Matthew has won this edition of Petty Claims Court. Wow. But this is just... Gender bias. Yeah, the heat is really, really, really intense. We didn't even get to Zeke, and we always get to Zeke. Zeke, we'll give you the final words in this case.

Hi, Zeke. What's up? I'm going to tell you something He's right I've been going with him all the way There ain't no shut off when you need to do the duties As a wife That's 24-7 around the clock

All year round I don't even know Why she's trying to even get on that In the first place Why she thinks she can be able to Not do her job You know what I'm saying I don't know where I go from here

Well, yeah, Zeke, you're my boy. Zeke is always on the side of the winners here, and he usually is. Whatever side Zeke falls on is almost always the way the jury votes, and this is no different this case. Yeah, and A18 did have a solution. Maybe since the older kid's 13, give it to them. Give them the task so that you don't have to do it anymore.

Fight about it. Throw them a buck. Hold allowance. That's a whole other subject. Oh, boy. All right. Well, that'll be a future penny. Hey, Matthew, congratulations.

You win this round of Petty Claims Court. Leslie, your punishment will be you will be taking over all steps of the laundry. That's how long that takes. I should have told you that I do the yard. All right, you guys can continue. If we wanted to make it about sex, I do the yard. About sex? You love botany.

Yeah, the last comment was about, oh, you should do your wifely duties. Well, I do the yard. Oh, she does the quote man duties, too. Oh, man. She got that green thumb. That's her passion. Is that a sex thing, too? Did sex get brought up into this somehow?

Who brought up sex? I think she's talking about gender or sex. Oh, gender sex. Oh, right. So you're saying you do too much of the man stuff in the relationship. Oh, yeah. All he does, he says, I work. I don't got to do anything else.

Oh, that's not fair. That's as manly as you get right there, that statement. I bring home the bacon around here. To the moon, Leslie. All right, listen, you guys sound like you're going to have a fun night. Hold on one second. All right, thank you. Thanks for coming here.

That's too bad. That relationship's probably not going to make it, Allie. Yeah, but I'm glad they're trying. The good news is, for everyone who voted, we're going to call one of you during this break and give you the good news. You'll be coming with us to our endless summer kegger, so thanks for participating in that vote.

And we'll come back with more tickets. This time we get you into Ocean Way Festival, so you'll see some killers in Santa Monica and more, and that's after this quick break on KROQ. After your Klein Alley show, let's find out what's happening in the world in a brand new hour. The show will begin, and if you're trying to get into the Endless Summer Kegger, and apparently people still are, we have your tickets. So don't worry.

I know people are starting to freak out because it's tomorrow. You didn't win your tickets yet, but you'll get in. Sweet divots, guys. I was just reaching out to see if there's any way to still win tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger. Yes. I wasn't able to win tickets on the online contest. I live right down the street from the event

and I've been trying to get to care about the event for a while now and haven't been able to with my work schedule and I'm off work this whole week

I believe it sounds like you've been off work this whole year sir but yeah we will try to get you in you sound like a go-getter right

and I've been looking forward to being with you guys and celebrating together and so it'd be really f***ing cool thanks Jake thanks that was

Jake was too busy having sex last night, apparently, to edit the calls to make sure there wasn't swearing in there. Yeah, you're welcome, by the way. Apparently, there was effing happening there and effing happening on the goat line, so thank you for that. Anyway, yes, sir, don't worry. I know you're freaking out. Today, tickets all over the place, including some coming up as we kick off a brand-new hour of the show in moments. But first, your news. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. Angel fans have not been happy for a long time. It's tough to root for a team. No, no, Angel Phan. You said Phans. Sorry, Phan. Angel Phan. The remaining Angel Phan has not been happy for a long time.

Well, a lot of people that I, I don't know a lot of Angel Phans, but the ones that I do know have kind of jumped ship or lost hope. Although yesterday was funny because once this news broke, all these people that were closeted Angels fans were like, Yeah! Okay, I'll say it. It's true. I've been a fan for a while.

I just haven't been able to like the team. It's so funny how many people I found out. I was like, I thought you were a Dodgers fan. They're like, I kind of was, but I really want to be an Angels fan. Now I can break out the red hat again. Red hats really had a bad few years. So the team is finally being sold to somebody who knows how to run a team, Stan Kroenke. He already owns the Rams, the Nuggets, the Colorado Avalanche, and a few other teams.

And the Angels has an estimated value of $4 billion, which seems high. For reference, the Dodgers is valued at twice that. The current owner has had tons of bad press over the years. If you remember, there was the bribery and the fraud controversies. There was a mismanaging of players. Then the stadium had rodents and possum infestations. There was also a wrongful death suit at one point. And at one point, the owner even said winning wasn't even a top five priority.

Ooh. Isn't that what it's a game? It's a sport. What could be the top four things? Holy moly. And wouldn't also on the list be not having possums and rodents in your stadium? They should put that plaque right there with the players before they run out on the field. That's the thing they see.

They tap on the run out. Not a top five priority. I would imagine if you're the owner, winning is nice, but you probably are thinking to yourself, profitability. How do we become profitable? He's already doing bribery and fraud and all that stuff. I don't think winning is his priority. I mean, there's plenty of teams that aren't winning teams, but they sell a lot. I think the Cowboys sell a ton of jerseys every year, and they haven't won anything in a long-ass time.

I know, but they're still a favorite, and I don't know if the Angels have ever really been a favorite. Probably. But even Ginger Justin, the redhead of the team. Well, he has to be. He was an Angels fan, and he said was. Was an Angels fan. He just left the team. He essentially changed his loyalty.

I mean, he was playing for the team. Look, I grew up Washington, at the time, Redskins fan, and then the owner, Daniel Snyder, came in. He was a terrible owner. He made a lot of bad decisions. Made you literally hate. It's funny to think, you know, you're a fan of a team. What should the owner matter? You're a fan of the team.

And if you're a diehard Dodgers, Lakers, whatever, you've got to think to yourself, am I going to lose my loyalty to the team because the owner sucks? And you think it's impossible. Or you go through the phases, right, of being a fan of a team. You do in a weird way go through this period where you're like, I don't want to support the team because I don't like the guy at the top, and I don't want to be a part of him getting richer. And to be completely honest, I don't think he cares about us at all

because he's constantly doing everything he can do to make it a not fun fan experience. and then it does actually eventually kind of make you less of a fan. Well, it's like the same as having a president that you don't like. Does that mean you hate your country? You know, it's like, you know, do you hate the person running it or do you just hate the thing itself because of the person running it? We used to be able to separate a lot better. Now I think we get caught up in the whole minutia of everything.

Right, exactly. All right, let's go to a food fight that is happening among two different companies. It is a lawsuit over the things that really matter in life. A fight over Uncrustables. An Uncrustable Lawsuit. A sticky legal situation for Trader Joe's based in Monrovia. A judge says a lawsuit can move forward over the sale of its crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If you've seen those in the freezer section, they look exactly like Uncrustables and they taste exactly like Uncrustables.

But they're not called Uncrustables because Trader Joe's can't call them that. Smuckers sued Trader Joe's claiming the frozen sandwiches are too similar to its Uncrustables. woman's mind is blown she's eating one as she speaks wait what is what do they call theirs the Trader Joe's crustless because there's a bunch of knockoffs Costco's got Uncrustables

I thought there were a lot of knockoffs too I can't recall the name of the Trader Joe's ones also wants the judge to require Trader Joe's to deliver all products and packaging to smuckers to be destroyed give that woman a raise she went through an emotional rollercoaster

But that I do not agree with Just because it's too similar Doesn't mean they should all be destroyed Well this is what Trader Joe's has made Their bread and butter on for years Is finding very popular products out there And then doing their own version of it They're basically doing dupes of these products

And a lot of times they actually will make them In the same facilities that make the other products And then they change the name slightly And they call them you know Trader Meng's or whatever This one's called Crustless Crustless. Crustless peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches.

That's what they're called. Rolls right off the tongue. It does roll off the tongue. That woman had the right reaction. That's right. I actually have had them, and they are not the same. I don't think any of the competitors really measure up to the real Uncrustables. And I was unaware you've never had an Uncrustable.

No, no. That's not true. What? I want to say something that I'm ashamed to admit. Is that what I just said? No, no. For about a year, I thought you had to prepare an Uncrustable by putting it in the toaster. And that's how I was making them for about a year.

I thought we have discussed how to properly eat them and make them. Yes, but I tuned you out. How do you make them? You just leave them out. You just leave them out. That's weird. They just thaw for like an hour. You put it in your pocket, actually, is the way to really do it.

You put it in your pocket. Well, you don't know how to really do it, clearly. No, I didn't know for a while. I now know. But for a while, I just assumed you take it out, you put it in the toaster. I didn't read. Obviously, I didn't read it. And then I just popped it out. And it was not bad, but it was something like off a little bit about the insides. So you've never had one properly, you mean? Right. That's correct. But I've had a crustless. Ooh.

It takes an hour to make one? Well, it does require a little waiting. You have to take it out of the freezer and then set it on the counter for like 20 minutes. Why do you have new ones now that you don't need to do that? Yeah, the new one's right. You can also leave them in. Listen, it's a simple food, guys. We shouldn't be having this kind of conversation. You can make a sandwich in two minutes.

It's not the same, man. It's not the same as Uncrustable. The ratio is so perfect because it's like crimped on the side. You can stuff more of the filling inside without it spilling out. Jake, you've never had an Uncrustable? Or any of the knockoffs? You've never had a Crustless? Nope.

A no crust? We need to buy all of them. Yeah, yeah. Let's buy all of them and taste test them because I bet Uncrustable will win out. Even if you, in a blind taste test, I think Uncrustable would win over the other ones. All the knockoffs. Top priority. Cancel everything else we had in store for the show.

Top priority. Not winning. Yeah, not winning. Top five priority is now moving to taste test all the Uncrustables. The Dolly Parton tributes are still coming in. Fast and Furious, literally. They started getting weird last week with Vin Diesel's tribute of I Will Always Love You. She has a charisma that...

Oh, hold on. That's not her. That's actually him talking about Dolly Parton, but he did an I Will Always Love You tribute that was terrible. I can't find it now, but there's also another tribute happening. A new day, a Dolly Parton day, will be September 25th. This has just passed through California law, and now... This is just another example of you doing a Dolly Parton tribute and not having the

audio. I do have it. It seems to be a theme with you, Abby. It says Vin Diesel Dolly Parton tribute, and it's not him singing, which I was kind of surprised. There it is. What are you talking about? I would only be in your way.

Here we go. So I'll go, but I'll know. Who's he singing this to? The internet. Each step of the way. Here it comes. Here it comes. Anytime now.

And I'm here. Oh, beautiful. And I'm here. Quite a vocal effect that he's added. He put in work. And I'm here. Now, is this more or less offensive than the 20 farms that are contributing to a giant corn maze celebration for Dolly Parton? 20 different farms across the U.S. and Canada are opening Dolly-themed corn mazes designed in tribute.

So when you look at it from a drone point of view, you will see Dolly Parton's image in the corn maze. She's lost in her giant breasts. She's circling this maze for hours. This is going nowhere. I'm not even near the areola yet. Vin Diesel, what are you doing here? All right, we get into a brand-new hour of the show in moments, and it should be less stupid than the things you just heard on KROQ,

but no promises. This is the world-famous KROQ. You on the beach in Santa Monica with the killers Jack White, Sublime. If you're the 20th caller right now, we're sending you to Ocean Way, and all you got to do is give us a call, 800-520-1067, which means if you're at a job right now working, you're going to have to go hide in one of them closets and call us all quietly and whatnot and whisper.

And then we say, you won. And you go, I'm so excited. I can't yell. I know, and then it's kind of sexy, isn't it? It is. And then they get to come out of the closet. Yeah, you walk right out. I'm just like, what were you doing in there?

And you're like, ah, just going down on the boss for a raise. I was just smelling you guys' penis. No, shut up, you. Get her out of this. Omar, I don't like you having that. Get her out of that closet. Get her out of there. That's my daughter.

Love of Christ. These dolls are bad influences on the kids. Why did you bring them to them? Pull them off the shelf. Are you kidding, dude? I didn't think that... Why would you do that? And then be like, you're repeating it.

You're in trouble. I didn't... First of all, I didn't remember what the dolls said, to be completely honest. And the other thing is, I didn't think they were going to take them out of the box and play with them. They don't play with most of... They're dolls. They're kids.

All they care about is squishies and Neato's. If they're not squishies or Neato's... I brought my kid a toy. I didn't think they'd play with it. I didn't bring my kid a toy. I brought it home. I just brought it home. I thought my wife would be impressed and sleep with me.

What? Why would your wife be impressed by this? I don't know why I thought she would find it I think she's like yeah I was on the fence but now that I see my husband now I have a doll that I don't need anymore

in fact even my dog wouldn't hump it I thought Jerry would give this thing good proper humping but your shirt does come off oh look at that erotic that's right thank you sweetie you can see the footage up on our Instagram right now of the Eiffel Tower that took place on the air yesterday between the Vanessa doll

and the Ally doll and the Klein doll It's due in numbers, as they say. Let's go ahead and say good morning to Denise. Hey, hold on. Denise, you're the 20th caller from San Gabriel. Hi. Oh, my gosh. Hi.

You're going to go to Ocean Way in Santa Monica, see some killers, all right? Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for... You stupid asshole. Hey, shut... Sorry, that's my kid there.

It's a winner. Hey, Rock. We're here with Fine Alley Show. When we're not around live like we are now, there's a GOAT line for you at 844-956-GOAT. People call with a variety of reasons. Hey, y'all. Okay, so if you're a WNBA insider, again, I have some more. Again? We have a WNBA insider? Yeah, she gave us a bunch of drama that was going on in the WNBA.

I remember people cheating on each other and then playing against their mistresses and exes, and apparently there's a lot of drama that's getting heated. She was also giving us the dildo report, all the people that were throwing dildos on the courts at the WNBA games, which they're trying to stop from happening. Last year, a Wookiee was drafted to the Connecticut Sun in the WNBA. It's a made-up team. That's not a real. Is that a real team?

I assume. The Connecticut Sun? Is that real? And the WNBA. Her name is Sanaya Rivers. Sanaya was drafted to the team a few days before her mom passed away, so it was really sad. And she ended up looking to her vet on the team for support,

the vet being Marina Mabry. She was their star player. They were getting pretty close, and everyone was like, hmm, what's up with this rookie and vet connection? and it looks kind of gay. Well, long story short, they were revealed to be a couple a few months later. What is going on?

Love it! This WNBA is... It's so ruthlessly lesbian. I wish they would just do less of the games and more of this. I would love them to do the games and also do a reality show. How is there not a WNBA reality show?

I mean, all of the other stuff that's happening behind basketball players, wives, wives, wives, wives. It's a lot of wives to keep track of, but, I mean, that would be the show. It's all fine and dandy. The whole team loves it. Everybody thinks they're super cute, including their teammate, Aaliyah Edwards. Aaliyah would always post content of Marina and Sanaya on dates and be like, oh, the cute couple, I'm third-wheeling, look at the cute couple,

and she was kind of their number one supporter. Oh, what do you think this is going to be, a throuple situation? Yes, or was cheating. Is she now jumping in with the vet or the rookie? Oh, my God. Let's find out. This WNBA is amazing. I got to get involved here.

Now, fast forward to this season. Sanaya's girlfriend, Marina, got traded to the Toronto Tempo. And while she was away, people noticed that Sanaya and Alina started getting close. Ah. You get traded, and then you're out. This is crazy. You're not on the team. You're not on the team.

So, now, today, someone posted on thread several photos. I don't know if they were following them around paparazzi style or what. Big win for the WNBA, if so. But they got multiple photos of the two of them on date. What? And, to seal the deal, a photo was posted of the two of them in their swimsuits, all hot and bothered, in a jacuzzi somewhere. Whoa. And they're all on their dates going to the Olive Garden because they make $60,000 a year.

I thought, you know what, they could still be friends. It's probably no big deal. But then, after the jacuzzi photo got posted, Marina, all her sisters, and all of the other players that were friends with them both on the Connecticut Sun, all unfollowed the NIA report. Wow. This is some real WNBA tea. You know, the thing is, the WNBA needs to realize what they have,

which is lightning in a bottle. And they need to make this all public at the games. They're probably trying to shove all this down. and they're trying to be like, no dildos, no drama. Dildos and drama, that's what we love. Before you watch a show, they have like a recap. Yes, exactly. Change the name of the entire league to dildos and drama.

And then on the Jumbotron, give us a recap, like Jake's saying, about all the players, who's playing who, and what the drama is so that we are all way more invested at the tip-off. And wow, one of these women is at the free throw line trying to shoot a free throw, probably a bank shot off the backboard. they should be showing her lover with the other woman in the hot tub to get inside of her head. Right, and then they can bring you in to put them all down

and make them feel bad about themselves, even though you couldn't play as good as they can. That's right. That's a great concept. Bad thing. Hey, when I went to the WNBA game, because I'm the only one who's been to a game this season, I support Allie, you don't.

That's not true. There are tons of people who go to these games. No, you haven't, I'm saying. Between you and me, who supports more? Oh, I don't go to basketball games at all. So I went, and I will say this. They brought a guy out to shoot the half-court shot, and they brought a very unathletic guy on purpose, and he air-balled that thing, and it was hilarious.

Okay. And I think they do that. What's the point? Show me dildo. That was me at the game. That was you. Did you win it? No, I did not, sadly.

That's good tea. Thank you. Our WNBA insider. Keep it coming. I would love to know. We've got to take a break. When we get back, if you've been paying attention to today's show, it's a lot to keep up with. We will get you into our endless summer kegger.

And Jake had a date last night, and we told him to bring flowers. He did. How did that all pan out? We'll find out next. Klein Alley Show. If you're waiting to go to the Endless Summer Kegger tomorrow, Newport Beach, we have another chance for you to get in in moments if you've been paying attention to today's show, ask you some questions about things that took place,

and if you know the answers to those questions, things like what is Alley going to leave Klein in her will, you may be on your way to the Endless Summer Kegger. So get ready to call in and claim your tickets in moments. Jake, how'd the date go? Pretty great. Alley was really angry this morning at you because... Because you won't acknowledge.

She believes, again, we have set you up for success, and all we wanted was a simple thank you. And you guys are like my dating Sherpas, and everything you have said to me has turned out to help you. When you went on your own way with your own decisions, you were in a terrible place. There's only two things that helped me at all. And that was, one, wearing pants one time and going to her. And then, two, Vanessa's idea is to bring her flowers. So you're saying, Allie... So you're saying one suggestion from me and one suggestion from Vanessa have helped you.

Yeah, but all the other stuff was a detriment. How do you figure that's a detriment? Remember, you changed my whole profile to make it, like, not me at all. You made whack AI photos. I had to take those all down. Excuse me, one person, the first date you went on, said, I thought to myself, this has got to be fake, but I've got to find out. I've got to go on a date with this guy.

Okay, that's not helping. It is helping. We have helped you. Are you not smashing? Yes, but I think... were you smashing before we redid your dating profile i had a succulent girlfriend you had zero smash i had occasional smash you had a zero you had a long you had a no smash streak that was and we were not only giving you advice about the pants we told you wear pants and wear close-toed

shoes and go out of your way don't just go to your neighborhood bar and the first time you did that was your first date with this girl that you are now with. And after I changed my profile back to wearing band shirts and liking Tool. And now it's like her favorite band too. So it's half me. So you're giving the credit to who?

Who gets the credit here? I think mainly me and then Vanessa and then maybe Allie a little bit. I want to say 75-20. 75? It doesn't add up to 100. Okay, whatever the value is, we have to give it to you, Vanessa.

Five Allie. 75-20. Five me? Allie gets 5%. This is unbelievable. And I think one of us, if you do get married, should be your best man. Because we were directly responsible for you hooking up with this girl. And if you truly are in love and this is a long-lasting relationship, it's because of us.

You want that, Allie? You want Jake to say, you're my best man, now you have to throw my bachelor party and stuff? I don't want that. You want that responsibility? Okay, I'm not saying. Allie, you're wearing a tux. She would probably do that anyway. She's thrilled.

You want to see how much bulkier I look at a tux? Oh, love to see that. It's pretty bad. We're still in pads. Please, Jake, for the sake of the show, get married while Allie is super pregnant. So she has to wear it. Yet another horrible wedding, right? Disgusting.

Every wedding I've attended is either while I'm pregnant or just had a baby. Yeah, that's right. Allie can only be in professional photos when she looks like a house. Wait, so Jake, you brought the flowers last night. Yes. And what did she say? Huge hit. And she was like, you know, taken back for sure.

She's like, oh my gosh, you brought me flowers. Did you get them at the cemetery or did you go buy them? No, I actually went to go buy them. At a store? Yeah, because it was way closer than the cemetery. Which store did you pick? It's up by Trader Joe's. Which bouquet?

Give me a price point, though, because you can buy the cheap stuff. The cheap ones are, I think, $5. Oh, no, this was like $15. Wow. One already assembled bouquet? Yeah, yeah, like a variety pack of flowers. Did you rip the price tag off, or did you let her see it? There was no price tag.

It was just a barcode, so I just left it on there. Yeah, I don't think there's price tags on those. Women like getting flowers with barcodes. Yeah, but it's on the wrapper. So you brought that, and you handed it. Did you do the thing where you pulled it from behind your back? I did, actually. You didn't just walk him and put him on her chest and say, here.

Here, they said bring him to you. So do you not want to say thank you to Vanessa for suggesting that? That was a great idea. And then how was the meal she prepared for you? It was good. What'd she make? She made fish, like a fresh fish fillet thing. Fish?

Wow, that was similar. That's a new soundbite. Room over eggs. You have a friend I can't wait for us to have all the food groups Oh man I can't wait to pull that Get it on the air

How are we going to use that drop for? For what? What are we not going to use it for? It's for everything That's amazing I can't wait for them to take the sphere again We'll be able to promote it So she prepared a fish dish for you

That's a bit That is a strange choice It's a gamble. You're not a fish guy, Jake, are you? I like fish fine. You do? I've never heard you ever eat fish by choice, ever. Because I don't make fish.

But I'll eat fish if someone makes it for me. What kind was it? Some kind of white fish. It had the head on it still. Whoa. I went and bought it at a fish market. Whoa. And she actually was able to make that?

That's a real, I mean, that's not beginner stuff. I would take that on. Yeah, that's a big meal. I sliced it in the middle and filled it up with, like, lemon and thyme and stuff. Wow. Tasted good. Yeah, it tastes real good. Yummy.

And then you went to Bangtown? Yeah, the fish had bones in it, and I put a bone in her fish. Oh, God. God damn. Oh, man. And who do you have to thank for that comment? No one. 100% Jake.

Yeah, take all the credit on that one. Jesus Christ. That is disgusting. Now that I've got a belly full of fish, let's go. All right. The very least we can do is invite you to meet that man in person tomorrow at our Endless Summer Kegger. If you call us now, 800-520-1067. That's next.

All right, let's give away some tickets to join us tomorrow at the Endless Summer. Kegger, Slightly Stupid will be there. We're going to do Allie's big gender reveal, live and in person. You're going to all find out together. I don't know. You know, I feel like Allie slipped a few times, but she slipped both ways. Did I, though? Yeah, I don't know.

Was it all a plan? I've heard you say, I've heard you refer to your unborn child as he, and I've also heard you refer to her as her. Right. So, I don't know what's happening down there. Everyone's all mixed up inside. Very confused. It's going to be like one of them bathrooms. You don't even know anymore.

What to do He's got a half wheelchair And a foot A half skirt There's a skirt A half skirt A half wheelchair What am I supposed to do

With this room What color smoke Do we do for that It's a she-lon too Why am I at the outback Let's get into this It's your Klein Alley show quiz Here we go

The Klein Alley show quiz Yeah that's funny Tee-tee caca I don't have please I have ants Miss Greger likes Walmart You never call Ozzy

I'm with you Hitler Bitch Bye call Bye call A lot of people on the phone right now Bitch There it is. My absolute favorite new saying.

A lot of people apparently, Vanessa, were calling thinking that she said kegs. Yeah, that's so funny. Because of her new life. And then Vanessa had to explain. I know. I just said fish. Cindy, you've been listening how long this morning out of curiosity? Woo, sweet dips.

Sweet dips. I've been listening since 6.30 in the morning. 6.30 a.m. Non-stop or did you take a break at all? um i've been listening and i was in the shower getting ready doing stuff so hopefully you get three in a row right if you get three in a row right you're uh coming to the endless summer kegger tomorrow if not we go to someone else yesterday we had to go to a contestant number two so here we go uh question number one um apparently in the world of dating jake was on

to something and we don't give a lot of credit but what is it that uh is apparently now very trendy in dating that jake claims he was into for a while oh i didn't hear this sucks to suck goodbye cindy nice to meet you oh cindy i had so much faith we said how to ronnie now who claims he's been listening all morning long ronnie do you have the answer to that first question yeah his musk ah his musk let's find out if you're right the theory behind it is that a man's strong natural musk makes him more sexually attractive that is sadly the correct answer it is natural musk which apparently is all the rage now people are not wearing deodorant wearing dirty clothes on dates so they can have more of their musk yeah later in the report she said except for

jake except for jake we got a question two and you are off to a great start question number two ali claimed that she's going to leave someone on the show something in her will uh this is a double part question. Who is she going to leave it to, and what is it? It's you and her cat. Yeah, baby. Sadly, that is also right, and Allie has decided that I'm the only person on this show who's going to get anything when

she dies, and it's all three of her cats. One of them's 16, the other two are one. They've got a lot of life left. Goddamn. I want out. I'm going to get a lawyer to fight that. They said that you can un-bequeath what I've bequeathed upon you. I don't want any of your queefs. I left those to you, too. I'm a queefs. I keep them in a jar.

Oh, great. Rather are those than the cats. We go to this final question now, and you've gotten two right, which means if you get this last one right, you are joining us tomorrow at the Endless Summer Kegger. And that's going to be hopefully worth your time. It's going to be a great time. Some of the things we have planned, it's going to be – we had a long meeting about it yesterday. I hope a lot of this stuff can actually happen. It will.

One of the things from the meeting I wasn't too happy about, but I'm not going to talk about that part. The other stuff will be great. 99% of it's great. last question he's all okay we talked about what you are supposed to do in the event of an earthquake if it hits you while you are

sleeping in your bed in the middle of the night we all gave our answers but there was only one right answer what are you supposed to do according to the experts when an earthquake hits you in the middle of the night under the cover and pillows under the cover and pillow pillow

and Dutch oven Congratulations, you're going to the Endless Summer Kegger, we'll see you tomorrow Ronnie, alright Alright, that's what's up, see you tomorrow Can't wait to drink with you Let's do some takeaways from today's show As soon as we're done with this one from Julia Wolf

It is called In My Room, she was in our studio Not too long ago, and after this We'll do your takeaways and get the hell out of here Alright, let's do some takeaways, let's get the hell out of here And then we'll be back Tomorrow for another show, before we hit to the beach For the Endless Summer Kegger Vanessa, do we have any extra tickets to give away today?

We're going to do that tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going to do a blowout. So every possible person we can fit in that place, we will get you in tomorrow. So before you start freaking out and threatening things. We have one left for today. Oh, we do? One. Oh, all right.

That's cool. All right. Do us a favor. Go give us a favor. What is with the sound effects? Johnny's back there singing. If you would like to join us, you're not already following along on Instagram. Head over there.

Give us a follow. Klein Alley Show means a lot. And then call us, and we'll give away another pair of these tickets off the air. And then tomorrow, we'll do a bunch of them. So be ready to listen tomorrow so we can all go and have one final party. People are already taking the day off on Friday. I just read this whole email. This guy said, I'm taking the day off Friday.

I haven't even won tickets yet. I feel like I need to set everything up to win, and I will be there. And he's all excited. Manifest it. I think he said he wants to propose to his girlfriend there. But you can do that if you want to. we're not going to make a big spectacle about it because we're already, you know,

we're going to be taking advantage of Allie's womb and we'll do the big gender reveal. And we've got a big plan for that and slightly stupid. It's going to be a good time. So hopefully you're there. Of course, you get a chance to bathe the nerd and try to dunk Jake in the dunk tank. There's other people that are going to be in that dunk tank, too.

Yeah, Vanessa said she may join in. I said I may. I will bring extra clothes. Let's see how ballsy I feel tomorrow. She'll swim like a fish. So she's going to be in the dunk tank as well tomorrow, we think. I mean, she said it was her idea. No one asked you.

That was you volunteering. Just because something fell through and I fell bad. Hey, I love it. I love it. The message was for Vanessa. I didn't play this yesterday. Hey, guys. Sweet dibs.

I just want to make, for a true I-feet tower, you have to, you can't forget the high five in the middle. That makes the tower. Okay, hold on. Oh, I got to get all of them in. Our dolls didn't do it the right way. Let's do some takeaways from today's show and then we'll officially get out of here. Dr. Slug will be in for another chance for you to go to a festival on the beach in about 10 minutes.

909, my takeaways if you want to beat traffic by a Kazakhstan track suit. Yeah, you can ride in that cool Olympic lane. 818, Omar's very agile. 213, Klein's going to be a cat guy. No, I'm not. Let's see. 213, Klein's a fan of BTS's Mahjong. 818.

That's so problematic. Johnny is a middle-aged black woman. What was that takeaway? Johnny is a middle-aged black woman. Yeah, he was calling a lot of people boo. It's like boo and bae. Yeah, boo's are there. 424, Klein was visited by Encino Man yesterday.

774, the WNBA is brought to you by Dildos and Drama. 650, Allie is a bulky pickup. 562, Johnny and his girlfriend aren't in the same grade. And 562. That was so weird. That was so weird. She was a grade younger. That's what it was.

She just, she clarified right now. You figured it out a few hours later? Yeah. She had to clarify it for you. I was in eighth grade. She was in seventh. 626 Alley's website is called 404 Not Found and 562 in case of an earthquake, roll out the door and into your yard. That's what you got to do.

That's Jake's big plan. What's your takeaway from today's show, Jake the Nerd? I need to try a sunflower butter sandwich. Sunflower butter sandwiches. So bad. It's what all the kids love these days because they can't have peanut butter. What's your takeaway there, DJ Omar Khan? I like to smell you guys' penis.

I don't like that. I don't like that one either. That's weird. I don't like that at all. Damn you, bruiser. Damn you. Why are you saying damn you? What's your takeaway?

You're the one who recorded it. What's that? You brought her the dolls, recorded her saying that. And then brought her. It was after they said it for hours. They were saying it for hours. So finally, I just felt the need to record it because you guys wouldn't believe it was what was going on in my house yesterday.

That's pretty great. Now my wife's mad at me. Why did we pick that my doll said that line of all the things I've said on the show? Why does it say I want to smell this guy's... I don't even remember when I said that. I don't know when you originally said that, but it will live on forever. Yeah, it's the best clip ever. It's better than this.

Woo, woo, woo, woo! Well, thank you, kid. That one was at least doing one of the clean ones. What's your takeaway, Johnny? It's not Klein's house. It's Ram's house. That's right. It's a good takeaway.

It's a good takeaway. Vanessa, takeaway today's show? Klein will have three cats in his future. Yes. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is stay tuned for the new season of Dancing with Whoever Takes Our Calls. Oh, man, that show's getting bottom of the barrel. Although Guillermo's on this season.

I do like Guillermo from Kimmel. I know. I didn't realize he was in it. Other than that, it's a lot of who's who's. It was a lot of, I remember that person from 1995. We'll do it again tomorrow. Try to do it better. In the meantime, you can find us on the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT.

All right, that's it. Bye. no need to clap but i will for us this episode of klein alley show has officially come to an end and now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends if you've ever wanted to see what we look like. I question your decisions, but we are available

for your viewing pleasure at KROQ's YouTube. And we even hired a guy to run the YouTube live stream. So for the sake of Justin's job, you should watch it. Yeah, if Justin gets fired, and by the way, he's a ginger,

so I think it's racist if you fire him. Regardless, check out our show. It's on YouTube. Every single morning you can watch us live. Of course, we love it when you listen on the radio,

like the good Lord intended, but also watch the YouTube after the fact. You can also follow along on the socials, Klein Alley Show. There's so many ways for you to get involved

and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show. If you've ever wanted to see what Jake's nerd hole looks like or the way Johnny thinks during Johnny Doesn't Know or simply the way that Klein looks disgusted when I tell him a sexy story about myself, it's all available on the live stream. See, you can see what that looks like. All right, you can stop.

Don't die. Open them two eyes.