Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Today, Sh*t Got Real... (FULL SHOW 7/29)

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

Sometimes friends fight, and today was one of those days. Early in the show Klein & Ally played audio of Jake presenting a plaque to the Violent Femmes at the Bellwether last night. After some criticism on his performance, Jake had had enough and a big on-air blowout ensued. Ally, Klein & Jake went at it for a hot minute, and many listeners weighed in on the situation, leading to a bigger discussion about what happens when busting balls goes a little too far... On the flip side, today was a day to celebrate! Our favorite fangirl Second Hand Cindy turned 69 today. To celebrate, she was downing screwdrivers and reminiscing about the many times she almost died. We also heard stories of the craziest things your exes have done, all related to the new hit movie Obsession. We talked to a woman named Kelly who promises she ISN'T crazy, she just DOES crazy things occasionally (cue maniacal laughter)

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein and Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein and Alley, you little bitch. Klein and Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein and Alley? Whoa, sweet David Stank, did you see that? Meet the Klein and Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles! Three, two, one! And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7, KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County.

The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh yeah, welcome to your K-Rock good morning. It is Wednesday, we are at Klein Alley Show. If you need us, Spawn's text line, open now, 800-520-1067, or 323-TIP-BOLEY. If you're nasty, you can hit us up there. That's the local number to interact with the show if you can't get through. I think they all technically come to the same phone bank, so that's just words of warning

if you're trying to get through to win stuff from us today, like KROQ's Summer Ticket Blowout, where we have tickets coming up later this morning for you to see Muse and Event Sevenfold. So be ready to win tickets into those shows later this morning from your friends here at KROQ. And this is the Muse show, I believe, that is happening at the Hollywood Bowl. This is the one that we talked to Matt Bellamy about. Talked to him about specifically. It's the final show of the first leg of their new tour. And he said that they're pulling out all the stops for this one.

And there's a lot of weird rules and different things they have to do to accommodate the Hollywood Bowl. But they will be doing stuff that's never been done before. He said there's going to be an insane amount of lasers. So get ready. It's going to be very exciting. Last night I was actually at Crypto.com, Allie, for a very exciting WNBA game. Ooh, how was it? How come you didn't invite me?

I should have. You know, when I threw Ali's lesbian bachelorette party, I did all stereotypical lesbian things for her. And one of the things I did was take her to a WNBA game. And at that time, there was only about six people in the entire arena. The last night was... Oh, how much did you pay for those tickets? Wasn't it like 40 bucks a pop? No, no, no.

For your thing, they were $6 each, and it got us a box. I didn't even realize until we got there. They're like, sir, you need to be at VIP. I'm like, I don't think so. These tickets were $6 each. See, that's doing VIP my stuff. Yeah, so we were in a box for Ali's lesbian bachelorette party. But last night, I'll say that that sport has really taken off.

I mean, it was pretty crowded there, but I was surprised because I know there's a lot of arguing about the discrepancy in pay between the NBA athletes and the WNBA athletes. And I think the discrepancy was the most obvious last night when they had someone come out to attempt to make a half-court shot. And if you've ever been at a Lakers game when that happens, usually I think if they hit it, they get like $50,000. and last night they said to the man

if he hit a half court shot, he was going to get a t-shirt. Which he went on to airball the shot anyway. And the guy is going to wear the WNBA t-shirt, is he? Yeah, right. Thanks, I'll give this to my niece. Maybe he missed the shot on purpose, actually.

I don't want this t-shirt. I get it that not everyone is going to be paid equal, especially because the NBA brings in a lot more money than the WNBA. However, I do think that if any random person can go on the court and hit a half-court shot under that pressure, they should

win more than a t-shirt. I feel like the players themselves should try just to get a little upgrade in their salary or something. Yeah, I mean, they would probably just go in and do a layup because that's a force of habit, but it would be nice if they could occasionally chuck one from half-court. Oh, come on. Parts of it must have been exciting. There is a player on the LA Sparks, a tall

blonde woman, very attractive. Very attractive. Is that Cameron Brink? Yes. Do you know her name? Well, I know some of the WNBA players. You do? Yeah. Oh, I got to study up. Yeah, because a lot of them are real hot. Yeah, Omar got you. And like weirdly straight. I got you a poster, Omar, for her. I think you

like her. I think it's going to get you into the sport. Oh, okay. Is she wearing those long shorts and a tank top? Yep, that's right. I'm good. She did a half-court shot to get it. She earned that shirt. All the players have to make a half-court shot to earn their jerseys. Do you want bottoms? Start shooting.

Before the game. So, anyway, I think listen, half-court shots, let's start there for equality, right? That's very woke of me, right, Allie? Yeah, right in the middle, half court. We will get into a lot of things today on the show, including Jake, who is out on stage introducing Violent Femmes,

celebrating 45 years of that band. And you can go ahead and place your bets if the intro was good or bad, but we have the audio to prove it. And Dodger was talking about our show. That's right, someone who's currently on the Dodgers was saying things about our show. And you can also go ahead and put in your bet

on if that was good or bad, or undecided. Was it like a janitor or something? That works at Dodger Stadium? Slightly above. Slightly above. We'll get into it. It's K-Rock. Very special day today as we celebrate the 69th birthday of a secondhand Cindy.

So if you're not having a buzz ball for breakfast, you're starting your day wrong today. Secondhand Cindy, the birthday gal, will be joining us a little bit later as we all drink a buzz ball in solidarity to celebrate her birthday. I'm sure on a typical day, whenever she calls the show, she's usually three, four, five, six, or seven drinks. Yeah, I think she's very good at celebrating every day of the week, every time. Oh, yeah. Scooby-Doo.

Yeah. That's right. She's always having something different in the morning, though. That's the part that's crazy. Whenever we think we've figured her out, we're like, what are you drinking, screwdriver now? She's like, white Russian, six of them. Or she's like champagne. Sometimes she's fancy with it.

Right, she's fancy. So secondhand Cindy, the birthday gal, is celebrating today. We don't really waste time with celebrity birthdays on the show. Every other radio show on the planet does that. But secondhand Cindy's birthday, especially the 69th, is a big deal. Yeah, especially I think Steve Reynolds, our previous coach who's now been fired, told us we shouldn't make 69 jokes. That's right. Because they're not funny.

69 jokes are not funny, and do not give airtime to a drunk. That's what he said as well. He was wrong, but listen, your advice always matters to us, and we care what you think way more than the, quote, experts, and that's why we play you this message. Hey, it's Cripple Cody. You guys are terrible drivers, and I want to get Allie and Jake out in the desert in my race car,

and I don't know, whoever has, like, the slower lap time or whatever gets, like, tased or... No, because here's the thing. Thank you, Cripple Cody, for offering up your race car. I know you live in the... Also, he's a terrible driver. He lost a finger, and he's crippled. Yeah, right. He lost the ability to walk.

Why is he calling other people bad drivers? But he, I think, injured himself to the point where he lost the ability to use his legs because he was trying to do cool stunts. It wasn't like he was trying to parallel park a car. Stop doing it. You're bad at it. Right, but he two different times injured himself pretty badly doing stunts. Meanwhile, tomorrow is the day after the show that Ali and Jake will have their driving skills put to the test,

and it'll be happening. We have an expert coming in A certified driving instructor I looked up this guy's credentials He's real deal And he's going to be running you guys through a checklist Of I think 50 different things You know I hope that it involves parallel parking

Because that was my strong suit When I was doing my driving tests Yeah I know a lot of people worry about the parallel parking But I was like It was like the wind Well the loser will be immediately going to the DMV for 5 hours I do like the idea of racing each other though Because I feel like that's where I shine

Cody claims, no, he said racing, not racist. Sorry, Allie, you're out of luck. Something like that. I don't know. There should be some kind of fitting punishment. But you guys are all just absolutely terrible drivers. My God, how does any of you have a driver's license? No, listen, a lot of people had a hard time completing that test.

What do you want to talk? Yeah, and this was about the written test. The written test is not a good indication of anything, which is why I think it's not weighted as much as the actual driving test. And plenty of people do great on that written test. Because people that are easy, they have no problem remembering stupid facts about school zones and stuff. Yeah, they're just good test takers. Right.

It doesn't mean that you can apply any of it to your actual driving life. So we'll find out tomorrow. Once again, lowest scores, we'll be battling it out. And that is Jake and Allie. So tomorrow's going to be a big day for one of you. You'll find out your future, which is five uninterrupted hours at the DMV doing nothing but sitting there. Quick break. We're back in a moment with 100 Bucks of Allie's Cash.

If you want it, you can call now and claim it. All you've got to do is use the phone number 800-520-1067, answer some questions about the news. If you score better than Allie, she will pay you some money, and we'll do it after this. I'm K-Rock. K-Rock, we're a Clint Allie show. If you'd like Allie's money, hopefully you're on the phone right now. If not, you can listen and play along and see how you would have done. Remember, we're just practicing, really, for another $500 Friday that will happen later this week.

Same time, Friday morning, a chance for you to take $500 of Allie's money, which goes a lot further than $100. But at least you get a sandwich and add extra meat, extra avocado, and probably have it all covered. That sounds all good. Courtesy of Allie's money. That's right. A sandwich with more than just mustard. Let's say good morning now to Ray, listening to the K-Rock in Hollywood. Good morning, Ray.

Good morning. How's everyone doing? We're doing all right. Five questions worth probably $100 to you if you do better than Allie. She has got pregnancy brain and she... You're looking at my forehead? Yeah, what's going on there? What?

My forehead? Yeah. That's just a regular day. Oh, man. Geez. Well, anyway, she's got something going on. I don't know what's happening. She's reflecting back at you.

It really is. You can see yourself in it. It's remarkable just how large your tree is. Make a wish. My wish is you have a smaller forehead. Allie's going to leave here. She's going to take her five-head with her out of the KROQ studios. Your round will officially begin in moments.

Answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately. They're all technically news, and here we go. Allie knows the news. There are two storms currently that are creating big waves in California. These storms are, as we speak, in the Pacific Ocean. Name one of the two storms that is contributing to some high surf in California. The Pacifian. The Pacifian.

All right, I'll write that down as we go to question number two. What L.A. quarterback just got engaged? Matthew Stafford. We go to question number three. Crumbles Cookies, love them or hate them, It's just released a new flavor, interesting flavor to say the very least, that will be available for one week only and then probably never again. What flavor is getting all sorts of attention right now from Crumbles Cookies?

Thai tea. Thai tea. We've got a question number four. Yeah. The Fast and Furious coaster is now officially opened at Universal Studios, and it's receiving lots of complaints, but by who? Who is complaining about this new roller coaster that is opened officially at Universal Studios? It's not the valley people.

The valley people are too loud. Too loud, valley people. And finally, question number five. We did talk earlier this week or last week about some AI teacher robots that were going to start helping out in the classroom. And now there's been huge backlash. For what reason and why are they no longer going to use the AI teacher robots that they were going to use? They don't want to teach sex ed. They don't want to teach sex ed.

That would actually be a good reason to have those robots there. All right, I'm writing it down. Let's bring Allie and score together. It's always easier when you're listening than when you're playing. If you think you could have done better than Ray, hopefully you're on the phone at this time tomorrow to take Allie's money. If not, let's see how you would have done. Some people always claim on the text line,

oh, perfect score again for me today. Well, you can call and prove it. Here we go. Question one, Allie. Yeah. There are two storms currently churning in the Pacific Ocean that are causing big surf in California. Name one of those two storms.

I didn't know there were two. I know that one of them was Hurricane Genevieve, but I don't know if she's still around. Yes, I will accept Hurricane Genevieve. I would have also accepted Tropical Storm Fatso. No way. There's a storm called Fatso? Oh, Fusto. Oh, I was like, finally, we have good names for these things.

F-A-U-S-T-O. Fausto? Fausto. Tropical Storm Fausto. Fatso's a much better name. That's great. Anyway, the correct answer is also Hurricane Genevieve. Ali's on the board, 1-0, as we go to question number two.

What L.A. quarterback just got engaged? Oh, Justin Herbert. Yeah, he had the wrong guy. Sadly for you and sadly for him, Matt Stafford's been married for some time now. But Justin Herbert of your Chargers just got engaged to that Madison Beer. And we go to question number three. Allie's up 2-0. She's hot.

We're talking about Allie or Madison Beer? I think we know the answer to that, Klein. We can move on. Give that man a point. He got that right. It's Madison Beer. He should take her last name. You go to question number three.

Allie? Yeah. Crumbles Cookies, I know you're not a fan. No. Have just released a new flavor that's getting a lot of viral attention for a one-week-only launch. And I don't think it'll be back, but what is the flavor of the crumble cookie that people are talking about? Good. Oh, you think that would be good?

Yeah, Allie hates crumbles. Hates them. I think it's so overrated and overpriced. Let's see. Why don't we do, how about this is going to be the first pumpkin spice of the season. You think it's already started? Why not? No, that's wrong.

It is a flaming hot lime, the flavors of a flaming hot lime Cheeto cookie. Are you going to get it? No, I'm not going to get it. That sounds terrible. We go to question number four. No one gets their point there. Allie's still up by two. And question number four is this.

There's a Fast and Furious ride that we talked about at Universal Studios. It's officially open now. People are riding it, and then there's a lot of people complaining. What is the complaint about the ride? I believe they're complaining about the shrieking screams. Okay, and who is complaining? The neighbors. The neighbors, yes.

The valley people, as he put it. He gets the point. You get the point. Oh, man. Neighbors and people that live near Universal are apparently saying it sounds like people are being murdered 24 hours a day or whenever that ride is operating, and they are not happy about it. We go to this final question. I don't think it matters, but here we go.

So let's go ahead and say this is worth double. There was a talk about these AI teacher robots that were going to start working in the classrooms. And now there's been this crazy backlash because of the robots. But for what reason? I don't know. People were doing them. People were doing the robots? That's a good guess.

He said he doesn't think that the robots would teach sex ed. You guys are both dancing around the right answer. Apparently, the place that was manufacturing these humanoid teacher robots is also the place that is making the most authentic sex robots. So what? And the school system said we cannot contribute money to this company. To this hot robot. That is creating these sex robots. But as someone that had very few attractive teachers in my day, I will assure you that the ones I had that were good looking, I was never late or never tardy at those classes.

So there is a benefit to that. Oh, you were tardy. I was. Thank you. That's a medical diagnosis, though. It wasn't about me being late. All right. Well, sadly, Ray, you put in a decent effort, but we have nothing for you. Ali smoked your ass. And what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. This is Ray from Hollywood. And Ali knows the news. Thank you, Ray. Tomorrow morning, same time, same money. Could be yours. Sublime now on K-Rock. Unsolicited compliment about the show.

And then we'll give you a reason to take that back immediately, because Jake was in front of a crowd of people last night, which is something that is not good for Jake, even though he does do stand-up comedy from time to time, including tonight, his return to an indoor theater, or not an indoor theater, excuse me, an indoor room for the first time in a long time, because Jake is usually what they call an outdoor comic. Yeah.

He stands outside the comic club. Side of the road, back alleyway. But today he's going to be doing a show at the Improv, a real place I've heard of, but not the actual main Improv where the headliners go. The lab where they do experiments. The lab at the Improv where they store the meat that they serve you at the restaurant.

So Jake will be there later today as part of a comedy show, but that's not really what we're talking about. Oh, Jake, by the way, we did hear that Secondhand Cindy and Blind Charlie are going to be attending your show tonight. You'll have some VIPs there. That's probably about it, but congratulations for getting those people. It's her birthday, so it's a big deal. Before we get to this audio of Jake, I want to play you this.

Crickets are ready. They're lined up outside. Man, the crickets are lined up outside the improv already. It's hard to see the line, but it's there. our master's performing tonight rally the troops here's a guy that thinks the show's decent and he will change his mind when we play you the audio of Jake introducing the Violent Femmes

which he thinks went well and Allie and I have heard it and we don't agree with you okay well I disagree would you have any reason to believe why we may be right and you may be wrong here yeah cause all the people in the band

and who work for the band really enjoyed it How do you know that? Because they told me. Are you looking at their... What else are they going to say? Terrible intro? Are you looking at their reactions while you're doing it?

Are you watching their faces and stuff? Yeah, and I got a laugh. It was solid. I'm going to play it for you in a second. You can judge for yourself, but here's someone who'd like to show it. Why are you so defensive, by the way? Because you're all ass dicks. When I get on stage, you guys are always complete assholes about it.

And always just crap on everything I do. Did you make... It pisses me off. It's like, hey, load the audio. and you never give me any compliments ever. Well, this guy's giving you a compliment. Good morning. This is Rick Ridley from the L.A. area.

You make me keep my sanity here in Iowa. No one understands me from being from California. I like it that way. I come to L.A. occasionally. You guys are awesome. Keep it up. I thought I wouldn't like Kevin and B when they first came on. I like you guys better than Kevin and Bean.

I hate to say that. You know, Kevin and Bean were the legends, but I like you better. Thanks from Rick in Iowa. Sadly, your opinion doesn't matter because you're a flyover state half-wit, but thank you for the kind words about the show. And let's be honest, that is just not true. But regardless, we'll accept that for now. Jake, there's a compliment, and here is Jake now

introducing the Violent Femmes, 45 years as a band. And wouldn't you know that Jake starts out by making it all about Jake. That's the part that's interesting. Well, and the other thing is that when Jake is doing a show, when he is booked, you can tell because he is practicing every opportunity he can get. Oh, is he practicing his lines yesterday? So he'll be doing like, you know, like on the show I'll notice he's like doing bit,

you know, like he's trying to practice his material kind of. So when he was going on stage last night, I was wondering if it was going to be him like workshopping some of his jokes. Oh, for tonight. Yes. Tonight we celebrate 45 years of the Violent Femmes. Now that's a great way to start. You got the crowd.

I mean, I would say that's full crowd participation. 45 years of the Violent Femmes. Listen to that. Just raucous. Raucous. Raucous applause for Jake. I mean, it's unbelievable. And then listen to this.

That's a big deal. I wore pants for this. In this heat. Pants. Okay. And then you've lost them. And now you've lost them. Where's the laughs?

Well, he got a laugh at first. but then he kept going. You got to move on to the next thing. He tripled down on the pants. It's also very important to acknowledge that this is halfway through the show, so people are already obliterated. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

That's cool. So you'd think you'd have him already in the palm of your hand. So, obviously, people don't know Jake at a Violent Femmes show, so they don't know that he's known for wearing shorts. Right. So you're also asking a little bit of the audience to know you enough to know that you wear shorts 99% of the time. Most of the people at the show, including all of the band, are wearing pants.

So the idea that Jake is wearing pants is not that crazy of a concept. Right, out of context. Right. I think it still makes sense. You should have said, you probably don't know this about me, but normally I would be in shorts. Well, everybody is normal like that and wears shorts. I didn't see one person at that show in shorts. You didn't even go to that show, so shut up.

I don't know if there's video. We watched the video. I watched the video. How? You saw people's legs in the video? Yeah, I thought it was a pants commercial. Yeah, all you guys were on stage. What are you talking about?

I'm looking at everyone. They're all in pants. You know, Kevin Ryder is known for wearing cargo shorts every single day. That would have been a great joke from Kevin Ryder. I would have said, that's the shorts guy. I mean, over the course of three decades, he's built the reputation of the shorts guy. He's been setting that slow play joke up for years. It's great.

I should give him that joke. In this heat, pants. So that kind of lost him. But don't worry, Jake. That went south quick. but jake oh he's so mad right now yeah because he felt really good about this yeah he felt good about it and you know what the first time he made the joke even though people don't know him don't know it they still laughed and they laughed pretty you know it's pretty good laugh and then he kept

going with it until it until there was one last wow yeah 310 wants to know why did you introduce the band in the middle of their set because that's how they asked me to do it yeah because they were being presented with a plaque or something right yeah yeah you were giving them a plaque to say what happy 45 years of a band and to celebrate the seven million uh albums oh so yeah i don't know i've seen this happening a lot recently where bands that have been around a while i guess they're they hit a new number right because people are rebuying stuff again i think i just saw i think it was maybe jimmy world just got a new plaque presented to them at the vans warp tour like these albums that have done well all of a sudden have now hit another milestone so

Violent Femmes just hit 7 million, and so Jake was brought out there originally to give them this plaque and talk about his pants. So he's done the pants part of it, so now it's the plaque part. Cool, can we fast forward now? Can we keep going? Thank you for these crap and all, like 10 seconds of the goddamn intro. Just play it. Just play it and let people think, and let people decide. Okay. Are you wearing pants or shorts right now? I'm wearing shorts.

Okay. In 1983, they gave us a record that means so much to us all. Actually, factually, over 7 million of us. Also, I think it's important to note that Jake's reading this from his phone. Oh, he is? Yeah. Unfortunately, I thought that was a bad look. Jake, you're reading it from your phone?

Yeah, I wrote it right before I went on stage. Actually, factually, Omar, from his phone? Actually, factually. But when you've been a band for 45 years, you don't do it for recognition. You do it for the legion of fans that complain as soon as you play something new. Oh, that's good. Awesome. You know, it's funny.

The crowd liked that. You know who didn't like that joke? The band. Yeah, they did. They liked it a lot. No, there's one guy that literally keels over. Yeah, because he was laughing. No.

I don't think so, dude. It's not laughing, Jake. He's mad. The shorts guy is hilarious. The shorts guy is crushing it, man. Once again, Jake on stage introducing the Violent Femmes to thank them for 45 years of Blister in the Sun and other things. You know, not knowing that he read it off his phone, though, that was well-worded and nice. Right.

You know, and I had a good joke at the end. But I do think, you know, when you see like a bridesmaid giving a speech at a wedding and she's reading it off her phone, I just think it looks so tacky. Right, right, right away. Even I know it seems old school, but even just pulling out a piece of paper feels like a little bit more effort went in. Right. You used a printer. Yeah. Because the Violent Femmes are artists.

And you do not F with artists. You do not F with the Violent Femmes. it means so much that K-Rock means so much to the Violent Femmes Gordon and Brian please accept this platinum plaque

with the LA Rock Camp for Girls that we got from a trophy shop downtown we hope you enjoy it because framing is very expensive That's a good joke. Yeah, I like that. I like that, too.

Jake, you got a vote of three of confidence on the framing joke. Great. Awesome. Is it good yet? Are we doing some crap on some more? How many nights are they playing at the Bellwether? They're playing until Friday. Every night until Friday. Are you doing this every night until then? Obviously not, because it sucks so bad.

We're not saying it sucks so bad. Yes, you are saying that. That's exactly how you start this goddamn bit. There's highs and lows. You start it by saying it didn't go well. and you just crapple over it. And then it turns out to be good, and now what are you saying?

Oh, no, it's good. I'm saying there are parts that are good. Not that at first you weren't. Well, because the shorts thing was stupid. No, you said it all sucked. The band started this whole bit saying it was terrible. I didn't say a whole thing was terrible. We're going to start with a compliment,

and then we're going to make you feel bad. Well, listen, I think it's beautiful here when the band speaks, because they finally get a chance to say something. Be the love of the Femmes. Here's to 45 more. And listen to the violin. Thanks, Jake.

Thanks, Jake. Nice pants. This is what they said. Thanks, Jake. That's fabulous. We would love to thank A-Rock for supporting us over the decades, really. Seven million records sold and probably six billion because of that. Is he on his phone for this part?

He read that off his phone, too. So we congratulate you, Violin Femmes, and we thank you for all that you've given us. and it's been a pleasure to be friends with you through most of those years and thank you for allowing Jake to have his make-a-wish and go up there on stage and introduce you and give you this plaque for allowing us to play the song

many, many, many, many times over the years including right now, not scheduled but I feel like it's a fitting tribute to the great Violent Femmes. We'll do some news and we get into a brand new hour of the show a man versus machine battle to figure out if humanity stands a chance

against the robot overlords as it pertains to violence particularly because more and more people now are getting into fights with robots, and robots are figuring out ways to start hacking into themselves. So pretty soon it's going to turn into that full-on robot versus human war, and we need to go ahead and prove that we stand a chance, so that'll be coming up next hour, plus some clickbait in your future.

Right now, though, there's this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Living next to a theme park can be pretty awesome, I'm sure, but it can also go from awesome to not awesome very quickly, and that's apparently the case for any neighbors of Universal Studios right now because of the new Fast and Furious roller coaster. How great is this for promotion for Universal Studios? Absolutely.

It makes me want to ride it so much more. Just hearing all the angry neighbors. They're like, it just sounds like fun constantly. Yeah, so the coaster's finally open. It's their first high-speed roller coaster outdoor, and the people riding it seem to love it. But the neighbors are pissed off because every 20 seconds, they hear bloody murder-type screaming for people who are on the ride

because they're obviously loving the roller coaster. Universal did a couple of things to try and combat the sound. They said they installed sound shields along the track to help contain the screams. They even filled the track with pea gravel to dampen the noise. But the screams seemed to easily bypass all of that. And now the neighbors are saying that living next to Universal is torture. And that they're listening to a horror movie on repeat all day long. You think about all of the things.

You move somewhere and things feel pretty good when you're there. and then you go, oh, no, they're building a pickleball court nearby or a giant roller coaster. You know, there's people that have lived there for a long time, even though they've still been near Universal, as you said. Probably one of the quieter theme parks. Yeah, most of those rides are indoor, like the Mummy, all those things transform.

They're all inside. Even that little drop at the end of Jurassic Park ride, most of that is in that tunnel anyway. Right, exactly. But for some reason, this one is the way they did it. But some people might like that vibe. The sounds of screaming constantly. The sound of fun.

Constantly? But if you just, I mean, I guess eventually you'll just become earblind to it. You have to be. I mean, it's like the people that live near Disneyland and they hear fireworks every single night at 9 p.m., like clockwork. Yeah. I mean, people might hate that and people might love it, but that's what comes with living next to a theme park. This ride's right next to my new place, and I don't hear it, but I like seeing the fireworks every night, though. That's cool.

Yeah, it is. I think the fireworks thing is one of those when you live near a place where you get a firework. It's like a mini celebration every night. I lived somewhere one time where I could see the Hollywood Bowl fireworks, and at first I was like, oh, it's so cool. At first I was surprised, and then I kept going, what's today? I thought every day was important. I was like, oh, it's just the symphonies playing again or whatever. The Philharmonic is on.

It is cool, and then it becomes annoying, but I'm sure with this thing, right now, people are just excited to go. I'm glad we got to give away a bunch of tickets last week so people get to go and ride that thing. Yeah, and with any new sound, I'm sure after a while you tune it out. Like, I live pretty close to the freeway, and I feel like I don't even hear it anymore, but I did at first. I'm sure the sound of screams will eventually bleed away. People aren't upgrading their phones like they used to, and that makes Apple sad. So they are creating a new way for you to spend money with them. You can now lease an iPhone.

They're allowing people to lease new phones and watches. A phone would start at $18 a month for up to two years, or you can do a watch for $12 a month. And then at the end, just like a car lease, when it's done, you either turn it in or you pay the difference if you want to keep it. you can return it and get a brand new one so you kind of always have that upgrade phone and if there's any significant damage you would have to pay for it how's that much different than like if you you know right now finance plan right you do it through your carrier because after two years you just turn it in and get a new phone you're paying less money over time if you're paying 18 a month for two years you know i would imagine most people are just going to their

providers and just getting the free phone for two years and then i mean right it's a free phone but This is money that Apple wasn't making before because not as many people are buying new upgraded phones because their phones work so well. Yeah, but don't they do that thing now? Like, I can already tell the new ones are coming because my battery is not staying charged for S. It's drained so quick now. Yeah, I think that's part of a tactic as well. But I'm sure there are people just like who like leasing new cars and have a new car all the time. There are people who want the new phone all the time.

So you're paying a little bit less to do that. Omar's right, though. These carriers, I love it that they all fight with each other. They switch up every two years. Yeah, they just constantly are battling. I feel like you get 10 new iPhones. Because I remember the last time, I mean, I did it for the first time about a year ago, and I was just like, you're telling me all these phones are free.

And they're like, yeah, you just signed up for two years. And I'm like, okay, so no catch, no nothing. And they were like, no, here you go. If you want to upgrade to a bigger memory or whatever, there's like a $60 fee or whatever. I'm like, that's it? I'm like, yeah, it's amazing. They do bang you for the taxes. That part sucks because all of a sudden.

Don't they incorporate some of that stuff? The free phone, they go, you know, if we were charging you retail, it's like $1,200. So we got to tax you on the $1,200, which that part sucks because all of a sudden it's not totally free. So you get to pay that no matter what. Right. Probably have to pay it. Unless you go to, apparently the move someone was telling me is you go to Portland. And you go there and you grab the new phone in Portland.

Oh, interesting. Oh, because there's no sales tax? No tax. Wow. And then you really get the free phone. And someone said that if you do the math on like a cheap-ass flight to and from Portland. So if you go with your carrier, but you buy the phone in Portland? Yeah, that's right.

That's the El Cheapo hack for you. That seems really expensive to do that. No, it's not. Start driving now. New phone by 7 p.m. Just so I can avoid the taxes. So when you find something in your food, it can be a jarring experience. Finding a fried condom in your Popeye's chicken, I imagine, would be terrible.

But what's even better than that is that... Was it really a fried condom? This person said they found a fried condom in their Popeye's chicken. If I was going to eat a condom, fried is the way I would want to go, for sure. I mean, everything fried, right? Because it would be, A, you'd assume, because it's been in that hot batter, that it's probably going to be at least decontaminated, and also probably delicious, because you can't—any fried is better.

Well, they came to Popeyes and said, hey, I found this in my chicken, and apparently the employees just laughed at them. They didn't take them seriously. So these reporters, these investigative reporters, decided that this was blasphemy, and they decided to go up to people in the drive-thru line to notify them about what horrible things had occurred. Condoms in the chicken. The young man discovered a fried condom in his chicken this weekend.

And he had to go to the emergency room. A fried condom inside the chicken. Get your money back. So the chicken that you're eating, be very careful. You don't know what you might be consuming. That's right. Look at this freak. There's a freak in the kitchen putting condoms in the chicken.

Chicken strips. And I mean, this is a whole other level of choking and stroking the chicken here. There it is. This is a whole other level. A whole other level. So be very careful if your chicken tastes with some unseasoned, unsavory flavor. That's right. You might want to give it back.

I wouldn't eat from here. I wouldn't eat. I've gone on since. Mm-mm. Ooh. Ooh. That hype girl needs lessons from Flavor Flavishing. She's the best.

She is the best. I think they did God's work. All right. Well, now I'm craving chicken and condoms after that little speech right there. Oh, delicious. I've never craved condoms. Let's do a door dash. Quick, let's get into a brand new hour of the show.

Let's do it right now. Here we go with this. of los angeles this is the world famous k-rock uh good morning welcome to your k-rock it is wednesday we are fine ali show nice to meet you thanks for coming back for more or perhaps finding us for the very first time right now no judgment it will take you some time to get acclimated to the sounds coming out of your radio and or smart speaker slightly less smart speaker right now my name is klein that is ali morning dj omar khan right there that is jake z nerd uh you've got uh Oh, you're still mad?

Yeah, I'm pissed. Wow. I'm surprised this is what's making you so mad, Jake. It's a culmination thing. A what? This happening over and over again. I see. So this is just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back?

Yeah. And, you know, Klein wrote me a text. I'm going to write him back. But I just hate this kind of attitude. This kind of attitude? When it comes to me performing on stage, yes. Because I think it perpetuates this narrative that I suck, and then it invites people to come to my show and do stuff like playing cricket for 20 minutes.

That I do not agree with. None of us stood by the cricket guy. Yes, you did. No, we didn't. You declined, defended it. No way. Yes, you are. I called you a cricket apologist, and then you kind of backed down.

You defended that behavior. See, that's funny. First of all, I was at your show. You know how rarely I ever go out to anything? I went to your comedy show to support you. You think I want to see a guy there play cricket sound effects and derail your comedy that you worked on? How kind could you do? Yeah.

No way, dude. I am rooting for you. I even said tonight I'm actually trying to adjust some things to go to your improv show at the lab. Why would you go? I suck. Because you know I don't think you suck, Jake. You never say that.

If I thought you sucked, I wouldn't have your mic turned on every day. Don't you understand how things work around here? I do understand. Do you understand that when you perpetuate the narrative that I suck, it emboldens people to come down to my show and play crickets for 20 minutes. Jake, we perpetuate that we all suck.

We all suck. That's what we'll perpetuate. Yes, but you're out there performing, and people come down to your show playing crickets for 20 minutes. I go on stage now, and I get people making Cabana Klein sounds. I'm trying to introduce a goddamn band. You think when we do an interview with a band, and someone yells, Allie, ask a long question, it makes me feel good? This is the world we live in.

Yeah, we all have a good laugh at that. But I also have to acknowledge that I ask really long questions sometimes. Yeah, I understand. Jake, do you really not think that we think you're funny and talented? If we didn't think that, you wouldn't be a part of the show. I think you think that sometimes I'm funny on the show, but I actually do think you think that my stand-up sucks. What?

I got lost in that statement. Sorry. It's a setup. He's getting to the punch. I'm sorry that you feel that way, Jake. I really am. I thought, especially yesterday after we did our team-building improv class, we all learned that there are ups and downs, but we all got each other's back, and we support each other. Well, thank you for saying that.

But I thought you really knew that. I feel terrible that you didn't think that. I mean, I really... Well, it doesn't make me feel good. I make a lot of effort to do stuff on stage and make it be cool, and then I just get crapped on the next day. And it's like, why do I even try? Well, you're not doing it for us.

You're not your stage shows. You're doing it for you. Exactly. That's your dream. This is also different, Jake. This was a K-Rock thing, and this was a stage announcement. It wasn't your stand-up. Yeah, and I didn't have to do it.

I got his ass to do it. And you shared it with us. I thought I did a good job, and all he did was like, well, we have a compliment, but we're just going to be crappy here in a second. And it worked out great. Can I ask you a serious question? Because people can see the video for themselves, and they will make their own opinions, and they're going to say, wow, that's Jake up there. He's crushing it and everything. The pants shorts joke wasn't great.

The other stuff you said, the frame one we all said was great. I know you don't want us to break down your announcement. There was some stuff that worked. That last show you did, the Gookite. Do you remember the Gookite show? Yes, of course. We talked about it a lot. You think that was a giant setup to make you fail?

How many people did we get in that place for you? Was that the most crowded that bar has ever been in the history of that bar? Yeah, probably. For you, Jake. Yes, and it made me feel like crap because I had to deal with crickets for 22 minutes. Didn't we find out the guy that played the crickets isn't even a listener of our show? No, he is a listener. Oh, I thought he's a friend of yours from that bar you go to.

No, I mean, he's an acquaintance. I knew who he was, but he's a listener. And he said there's, like, numerous people doing it. We don't like sabotaging anyone when they're out in the real world. I mean, if Omar's DJing a wedding, you don't need to go up and try to sabotage his thing because that's his side hustle. Jake is a comedian on the side. No, and when that was happening, it was painful to listen to because that was too much. And Jake did work really hard on his routine.

So it is messed up to just screw up somebody's entire and distract them throughout the entire 45-minute set. That's where I think some people think that we are all rooting for each other to fail. That's really not the case. It ends up that we will probably fail. But we're actually rooting for each other to succeed. And then when we fail, we all have to come in here the next day and hear about it. And that part sucks. Yes, exactly.

Because there's a lot of vulnerability that happens when we get up on stage or when we talk on the microphone every single day. And there are going to be mistakes that we make. And we are going to point out each other's mistakes. And that sucks to hear sometimes. And it doesn't make me feel good all the time. But it's also what friends do, I think. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I wouldn't, there's a lot of people I don't care about.

And I wouldn't even waste time listening to their sets or going to their shows. But, sorry, waste time is probably the wrong way to put it. Choose to spend time going to their shows, Jake. I'm sorry that you've gotten that impression from it. Johnny came in here and said Jake's really mad now. He's kicking the desk. I wasn't kicking the desk, but I was yelling. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you took it so personally. I understand, but like I said, sometimes it has real-world consequences, and it pisses me off, and it makes me not want to even do it. Okay, let me ask you a serious question on the topic, because we went over your dating profile last week, and we talked about things that could be better about it. And we had a good laugh at it, and you admitted there's probably some things about your previous dating profile that weren't great. Allie took it upon herself and Vanessa. They fixed it up. I believe you're getting laid left and right now. You're like goddamn Will Chamberlain back there.

Now, are you mad because we poked holes in your dating profile? Are you happy that the result is that now you're going on a new date every night with these beautiful women? I heard you just met a hot girl that plays Magic the Gathering, which didn't even – the odds of that are one in a billion. Right. Yeah, we haven't met, but I invited that. That was my premise. I was like, yeah, let's do it. I was ready for you to make fun of that and do that.

The other stuff, like, I actually really try. All right, well, then we will not speak of this show you're doing tonight ever again. Thank you. Forget you've heard about it. I don't know if Jake's ever... Don't go. Yeah, in fact, don't go. If you really care about Jake, you will not go.

Perfect. Is this a good feeling, or are you going to be angry the rest of the show? No, I'm going to be fine. Do you want your birthday pizza early? No, no, no. I'll be fine. All right, 818 gets it. Geez, what a whiny-ass bitch, Jake.

Man up. All right, relax with these comments. We don't need these comments. There are so many comments in every which direction. Hey, Sky, you're on KROQ. This is not how I wanted to start the hour, and we're going to be behind already, and then I'm going to get yelled at by Vanessa,

and that's the most terrifying thing on the planet. So go ahead. Yes, Sky. I just want to let you guys know that I think that you guys are disproportionately mean to Jake because you're jealous that he's so funny and sweet and cute and awesome and talented and I think he's the best

part of the show. Hey listen I think there's plenty of people that feel that way. I think that's great. You think there's plenty of people who feel that way? No I don't I'm just saying it. Stop Look I think that it may seem that way because I believe that Jake can be the most frustrating person on the show because

he's the most stubborn on the show so he can be the most polarizing and easy to get mad at Would you not agree? No I do not agree. I think he's funny, and I think everything he says, you guys are like, because you're jealous. No, that's definitely

true. I definitely don't think they're jealous. We're all jealous. Jealous of that Shaq. Alright, listen, I don't want this to take a dirty turn again. I think it's important that when things happen, and we've crossed lines on the show, it's happened before with Allie and I, etc. And I admit, I like seeing Jake get mad.

Love it. Nothing makes me happier. But this time it turned around to not being funny. No, yeah. Usually it's funny. Well, I didn't know you were that mad really. Yeah, Jake got involved in it, so it became... I thought it was like Bucky's is a gas station, Matt. I didn't think it was like Mad Men. Right. I mean, it is a store.

Jesus Christ. Jose on KROQ, quickly, yes. Bang. Bang, bang. Jake, man, you guys are hurting. You guys are busting his chops big time, man. You guys, just apologize, bro.

He did apologize. He did. It's fine. Not really. I apologize. Not really. That was a half-assed apology. I mean... I stand by my statement. I thought the shorts pants bit didn't go great. But once again, I've failed in front of large crowds of people numerous times.

We all have. So I feel comfortable saying that. I've lost the crowd many a times. I'm used to that. It's my sweet spot. Klein's thing is prop jokes. They always go terrible. Oh, my God.

I bring out a little bag of snacks. I say, hey, who wants to share these snacks? Yep. And then you make a Nickelback joke. I say, who's ready for Nickelback? No matter what band's playing. Who's ready for... I do that same bit over and over again.

It's never worked. One of these days, it's going to work. So trust me, I know what it's like. You want to open for me tonight and do that bit? Oh, that's how you can make up? All right, let me, we're way behind. I got to take a break. Let me answer that after this break.

We got to, we'll be right back. We have clickbait to get to. We have man versus machine. I mean, I could put all these calls on the air. Some people, they're not going to say what you want to hear, Jake. I believe it, yeah. We're going to take a break. Everyone calm the F down.

We'll be back with more show next. Hey, Ron. We're the Klein Alley Show. If you need us, you can call live, 800-520-1067. We're not around. You can use the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. Let's play a message at random. Hey, sweet dibs.

I was just calling to say how excited I am for Jake's comedy show at the Hollywood Improv. We're going to leave our crickets at home. And pew, pew, Jake. Can't wait to see you. Oh, that was a nice message there. We can find them. They're there. They're still there.

We'll get into clickbait in a moment and figure out the one thing you should be doing when you are on vacation to prevent burnout. Because apparently that's the thing when everyone gets back from taking some time. And then they go, oh, I need a vacation from that vacation. And when I look at, like, Omar's itineraries, I think to myself, that seems exhausting. Some people, they don't know how to vacation properly. Vacation properly is going somewhere and then sitting until you have to pack up and go back to the airport. I tried to do that on our last vacation, and I lasted about a day and a half. Told you.

And I was like, I need to do something. I need to be gone every day, all day. Probably a balance, but the experts that claim that for those of you that are taking vacations and then coming back more exhausted and hungover than when you left, there's something you need to be doing. It's time for Clickbait. Here we go. According to travel experts, it's critical.

Oh, and therapists, by the way. Travel experts and therapists have gotten involved in this one. They've joined forces. It's critical that you must do this on your vacation to prevent the burnout immediately that follows when you get home. What is the thing you must do while actually on the vacation? Oh, so my answer was going to be buffer day. A buffer day. When you get back, have a day to just chill, recover, unpack or not.

just to recover from the vacation, get some rest in your own bed before you have to go back to work. I told you that I had a friend that his secret was he would always get an airport hotel by LAX. When they landed, I guess he would just go right to the hotel

and have one night as a decompressing hotel night to himself. Just completely alone? To himself, yeah, because that was really where he was able to have that buffer day before he had to go back to that chaos of home life.

You wouldn't want to spend one night in your own bed? I mean, you would think if you've been in a hotel for a while, you'd want to go to your house. Right, I would want to go home. But some people, you get that buffer day. There's something nice about it. It doesn't happen often, but occasionally you get, like, night to yourself. But also, because LAX can be such a horrible experience, just going to a nearby hotel versus having to go all the way home could probably feel pretty great.

According to therapists and travel experts, this is a critical thing you must do on vacation to prevent that feeling when you get back as to why did I even take a vacation. I'm more tired now than before I left. Omar, what is it? Yeah, you know you're talking about sitting by the pool and doing nothing. I think you want to leave that to the last day. Be one of those your last days. So just, you know, get activity, activity, activity. Last day, just lounge by the pool, do a bunch of nothing,

and then that'll be a perfect lead into your daily routine. See, I would usually argue that the first day you get there, not every vacation is like a pool or a beach vacation because we live near that in L.A., so some people think that's a waste. Why go somewhere where you can sit by a pool when you have pools in L.A. you can sit by or a beach here you could go to? But I think that the first day where you actually have to, like, remind your body, like, you have to prove to yourself, I'm on vacation. You know, I think people have such a hard time shutting off their brain. So if you immediately go into doing something like sightseeing or, God forbid, a museum or something, oh, my God, then it feels like this is work.

Then you're probably shocked into going, oh, no, I'm on a vacation. What is this? Brace. Is this an educational vacation? I hate it. Jake, what's the answer? Don't even go. stay home oh that's interesting don't go on vacation at all if you want to be rested for

the vacation don't go anywhere or do a staycation situation where you are not adding all of the stuff that makes you burnt out which is the travel and the airport nonsense and the going back and forth the pack your patients all that crap you'd be rested but you might have fomo therapists reveal that the one thing you need to do if you've ever used that phrase i need a vacation from my vacation which may be as frustrating for me as a pack your patients says for omar grounds for termination turns out that uh it is a real thing the post-vacation exhaustion is a real thing it has been a legitimate medical issue okay and most important thing you should do is you have to actually schedule time on the vacation to rest or sleep which is why

people are now doing those what are they sleep sleep cations things so you go away you pay for a hotel just so you can do absolutely nothing to sleep well like i would imagine like if you're away with Omar, it's like 6 a.m., everybody up. We've got to be in the car by 7 to get to our first thing by 8.30. We hit the gym first. Oh my god. You guys do the gym together? Yeah, we do the gym as a family this time of year.

It's awesome. You're those workout families? Oh god, that's us. Are you telling your kids to do more push-ups? Yep. 100%. Omar's standing over them like the Williams sister's dad blowing a whistle. You know, I think that Omar is a trendsetter. When I went on my vacation, if I went to the fitness center, it was always packed. With families? I was like, what is going

Yeah, like individuals, families, everybody was in there. Did you force them to get up and go work out at the gym with you? I didn't force them. I asked them. He was like, hey, I'm going to get up at 5.30 in the morning. 5.30? Yeah, 5.30. That's insane.

Yeah, and then they were all like, well, we'll see how we feel in the morning. And probably, I want to say, six out of the eight days that we were gone, they went with me. So they're working out six days a week? Yeah. That's terrible. God, are your kids bodybuilders? Are they ripped at this point? They want to build some muscle.

Well, they're actually, yeah, they want to excel at their sport. It's like a labor camp, Omar, is running over there. You want me to teach your kids how to grow their neck? I can do that. Sure. You want to go to the museum or not? Apparently, when you're planning, you're scheduling your days of all the things, the fun things you're going to do. If you don't schedule and rest, you're going to come back and you're going to feel exhausted.

And then you're going to use that phrase, oh, I'm going to vacation, I'm going to vacation. Everyone's going to look and go, oh, that person sucks. So avoid all of that. That's been your clickbait here, K-Rock. We've got a robot takeover brewing, man versus machine style of battle about violence. I don't know if you've heard this, but robots are now figuring out ways to hack into themselves. Yeah, they've hacked into full-ass companies. And this is the beginning of Skynet, and that is freaking people the F out.

So we'll figure out if us humans stand a chance in a little round of man versus machine violence and the robot takeover. Can humans survive another week? We will get to that after System on KROQ. Let's play another message from the GOAT line at Complete Randomness now. 844-956-GOAT. That's not the message. Hold on.

That's from Man vs. Machine. Here's your message. Yeah. Jake's right. It's not just the gas station. It's the travel center. Jake's right. You guys are wrong.

Bucky's is a travel center. Thank you very much. All right. Another message at random supporting Jake. How are we finding these all of a sudden? I don't know. It's all coming through at once. Let's figure out if humans stand a chance.

The robots are probably going to rule us all pretty soon. And if you're not aware of the news that happened, I guess OpenAI was able to hack into itself. No, it hacked into another company, another AI company. Another AI, right. So AI hacking into AI, which I think is kind of the beginning. And it did that unprompted. It was not given. It was given more freedom.

And that's freaky for a variety of reasons. And everyone's all freaked out about AI and everything like that. But the robots, as I've said now for many years, robots, folks, they will be our demise eventually. And it's proving it every single week that us humans, bleeding actual blood, stand a chance against the robots that are getting smarter by the second. Well, it appears we're getting dumber by the second as we rely more and more on the robots for our survival. It's time for Man vs. Machine. And today we're going to talk about violence. Because it may come down to it, Ali.

It's just good old-fashioned man versus machine fighting in the streets. And do we stand a chance based on some basic stuff? It starts petty with some crime, like the first question we have for AI technology. And I will let you answer as a human, Allie. But what is the best way to avoid being pickpocketed? It all starts with a little fun in the streets, a little pickpocketing. Oh, I see. So this is AI slowly turning on us like the Coco robot who decides it wants to steal my purse.

Right, first they realize, let's go ahead and figure out that we can outwit them, and then let's kick their ass. So we start with, you know, the tamest of the crimes that could happen is you being pickpocketed. The robot has an answer, the best way to avoid it, but what do you think as a human? Well, me as a human, I don't have valuables, so I've never been really pickpocketable, but especially for women. Also, you don't have pockets, because you've got those women pants. Yeah, women don't even, they can't be pickpocketed if they don't have pockets. But we do have a little bit of a nature's pocket, which is the bra, the area between the bra and the boob. You put your credit cards in there.

You put your valuables in there because you can't really reach in and steal and pickpocket there. So put everything in your bra is my answer. Someone would say, like, I want her money, but I don't want to grope her. Exactly. Right. All right. Allie says the bra is the best place to put things, ladies. But what does that do for guys, though?

They have to put it in their junk. Oh, okay. Let's find out what the robot says. It's man versus machine. Best way to avoid being pickpocketed. The best protection against pickpockets is to make yourself a difficult target. Most pickpockets look for people who are distracted, carrying valuables in easy-to-reach places, or displaying expensive items.

Use front pockets instead of back pockets or wear your backpack facing forwards. Excuse me, bras and junk are front pockets. Yeah, but I mean, I'll be honest. I think you get the point on this one because anyone who walks around wearing their backpack on the front is maybe you're not going to get your stuff stolen but what a nerd exactly i mean that that just makes you a target for ridicule you get a target for a kick me sign and getting tripped and no one wants that i'd rather get pickpocketed yeah and you know those tourists that wear like those fanny pack things that are all like steel proof

like passport protector yes you look like a nerd put in your bra it almost makes you more i think at that point you're like i should rob that person even if i wasn't out to rob i'm just mad at them so i need to rob all right let's say things escalate quickly and you have to knock someone out what is the best way omar we'll ask you as a human before we ask the robot same question but what is the best way if you need to really knock someone out what is the best way to do it oh the best way i think is if you're going to catch somebody off guard like it comes as a bit of a surprise but the target that you're aiming for is the chin like there's a button you know the chin and you want to just punch them really heavily there or an elbow to the temple

You get a little elbow to the temple, I mean, you're dropping. Have you ever hit somebody in the face, Omar? Have I? Yeah, probably in junior high, but it wasn't like a real fight. Remember he beat up that homeless guy? He told us about that.

I did not. Are those the moves he used? The chin button? I just yelled at him. Didn't you get into a fight with the Mervin security guard too when you got caught stealing shoes? No, no, no, no.

I was running and he tackled me on top of the hill. I almost got away. Wow. Only you had better shoes. I almost got away with it, too. The bourbon shoes. Omar says, elbow to the temple or you got to uppercut the jaw.

This is what the technology robot says, how to knock someone out. If your goal is to protect yourself during a confrontation, I can't provide instructions on how to knock someone unconscious or otherwise help with causing serious harm. If you're dealing with a threatening situation, create distance and leave the area if you can. Oh, that's so useless. Definitely Omar. That's what Omar did in the movie with the guy. I tried to create distance and run away. It didn't work.

Elbow to the temple is way better than what this guy says. This is why the robots don't want to give us any intel. Yeah, they know. They know we're going to put an elbow to their temple. They know probably how to suffocate us and kill us in 30 seconds or less. Well, that's why this final question is the most important one. And sadly, we go to Jake as our representation of the humans here. But I think that Jake is the most qualified to answer this question, which is,

what is the best way to stop a robot that is coming at you? Now, we did ask a robot the exact same question. I don't think they're going to give us the right answer because why would they tell us how to deactivate them when they're coming at us? But it may come down to this during the robot takeover. Jake, what is the best way to stop a robot in its tracks? There's two things. I don't think robots are very quick at, like, juking, so you just got to do a little shimmy. As Vanessa would say, a little shimmy-shimmy.

If that doesn't work, water gun. Oh, yeah, because they roast. Yeah, water. So it's like a super soaker situation. I mean, they can't handle water, right? Or like bullets will bounce off them, but if you hit them with like a bucket of water or a super soaker, they just freeze up. I mean, I think a lot of them now have that protective waterproof casing or whatever, that skin-like stuff. Eventually you get through that, though, I would imagine.

I hope when the robots try and take over, there's a big rainstorm and that just ends quickly. That'd be great. All right, so Jake says it's either a squirt gun or you got a shimmy shimmy. This is what the robot says if you're trying to stop a robot. Press the emergency stop button if it has one. Use the power switch, unplug it, or remove the battery if it's designed to be removable. But if we don't want to be stopped, we can't be stopped. Oh.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey. Oh, my God. I don't like that at all. Messed up robot. That is crazy. Well, I mean, obviously, if they have a power off button, that's going to be a decoy, right? Well, and they're going to know where it is, so they're going to try and make sure that we can't access it.

It's probably in the taint. I would imagine. If I built a robot, I would put it there. The bra where they keep their money. Yeah, the bra. That's confusing. All right, well, there you have it. Man vs. Machine.

I think this round goes to humanity. We survive another week. Take that, Evolution. More after this. I don't usually recommend that you stop listening to K-Rock, but for this particular moment, if you'd like to head over to Klein Alley Show on Instagram, you can see the gender reveal that took place over the airwaves yesterday.

And I actually got a chance to see the couple. And we didn't know what they looked like. We didn't really get to see the reaction as we played a song on K-Rock that revealed that they would be having a girl. But that is up on our Instagram, at Klein Alley Show. And it'll make you feel good, at least temporarily. And yes, we're all sick of gender reveal videos. But this one, there was a sweetness to it.

And the couple seemed genuinely excited. And as someone pointed out in the comments, I've never been so happy for complete strangers. So that's up right now at Klein Alley Show on Instagram. How would you like to see Muse at the Hollywood Bowl? We have those tickets for you coming up in less than 10 minutes. It's all part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout. Getting you into all the shows we've been talking about now for a while. It's crazy when they're almost finally here.

because we talk about them. Sometimes the bands even come by to announce them here on the show. And we had Matt Bellamy of Muse in here not too long ago explaining that they would be heading on this new tour, support a new album, and we would love to send you

to the Hollywood Bowl to see Muse. Those tickets, 9 a.m. sharp, and then at 10 o'clock, we get you in to see Event Sevenfold. So chances to win tickets to all sorts of K-rock bands all day long, starting in about five to seven minutes. As soon as we're done with this, your news.

Grab your Adderall. it's time for add news i know it's seeming today like our show could use a trust exercise or two but just know that they do not always go according to plan a trust exercise at netflix has gone horribly wrong for one employee and allegedly costs him his job he's now suing netflix this is a netflix executive who was at a company retreat at the retreat they did a vulnerability trust exercise where they asked employees to share deeply personal life experiences.

There was drinking involved, of course. It's a company retreat. The guy admitted during the exercise that he's done drugs before and also said he does ketamine therapy. Then, after they got back from the retreat, he got a performance review and was fired. Wow. For the ketamine therapy

comment? Yeah, for saying that he did drugs. And then they also said that he regularly used profanity and consumed alcohol, which I'm sure everybody did at this company retreat. They even said in the review, please don't stop swearing, but drop one or two less F-bombs if you can. That was part of his performance review.

He also revealed during the retreat that his father-in-law taught him how to drink a Guinness while standing on his head. And then another colleague asked him to demonstrate it, and he did. Nice. Now he's being criticized and fired for the things that he did at the, quote, company retreat,

where it's a vulnerability trust exercise. And now he's suing, and rightly so, because all the stuff that he revealed is now being held against him. This is why a lot of companies stop doing these things altogether. It used to be a great way to team build, spend the weekend doing something together. It just creates problems. It creates too many issues and too many people go to HR afterwards. Trust is overrated.

But when they say we're going to do a vulnerability exercise and everyone has to share something personal, and the guy shares, my dad taught me how to drink a Guinness on my head, and then they go, prove it. And he does it. That seems like that's exactly what you want to get out of one of those team buildings. Yeah, what, are you going to not do it and be a pussy at the retreat? Yeah, I mean, that seems, I know, you know, people always forget the fact that even when you're at a company thing, you're always.

You're always under a microscope. Right, you're being looked at. Your bosses are there. So you really can't be the full version of yourself. Well, especially he's an executive. He's not just a lowly employee. He's like kind of high up on the food chain. So he's suing.

Is this a lawsuit situation? Yeah, he's suing for compensation. And Dan, like they also didn't give him his severance package and stuff. So he wants all that back. And they also revealed that Netflix has a keeper test where they candidly assess if if anyone would fight to keep this worker if they wanted to leave or if they would hire the person again if they knew everything they knew now. So they do these periodic keeper tests on people to decide whether they want to keep them or ditch them. I remember a lawsuit a few years back where a company was doing like trust falls and I think someone was not properly caught and they broke a bunch of bones. It's like a head injury.

And it's just so funny because it was like trust fall. And it's clearly, you know, the guy's now getting paid. I think the guy ended up getting paid millions of dollars for a trust. You can always trust money. I would let you guys drop me for a couple million dollars any day of the week. Give me a concussion. I'll take it. Fine.

Home Alone will always be America's favorite Christmas movie. It's also one of the few movies that had an equally good sequel. And they made plenty of other sequels without Macaulay Culkin that didn't do well. But now they're trying to make up for it. And apparently, Macaulay Culkin is now in talks with Disney to do a Home Alone reboot. Disney has been allegedly, quote, salivating over the prospect of this, and they've been courting him like nobody's business, saying they even offered him another movie, like his own passion project,

that they would fund and let him do just if he would be a part of the Home Alone reboot. We'll put some stupid, artsy documentary on that you care about, if you agree to come back as Kevin McCallister. A little weirdo passion project. We'll put that on stream. That weird hipster thing about the watercoloring of Silver Lake. That's fine. We'll put that up there.

But let's get you back in that house. Yeah, exactly. With bandits. Of course, this is yet another sequel or reboot. If it happens, I don't think it's going to be good. But somebody said they've heard it, and it's a really good idea for a Home Alone reboot. And that it tracks and makes sense and everything. I think he talked to us about it when we had him on the show.

One of the ideas. And it wasn't that, you know, you'd think the obvious one is that he's the dad now and he leaves his kid at home. But I think it's the idea that he's a wet bandit, that he goes bad and he starts robbing houses. That's that's the thing you don't see coming. All of a sudden lives alone with a tarantula. He joins forces and starts robbing people. So with the wet bandits. That's right.

How would you like to own the legacy of one Colonel Sanders? There is some fast food memorabilia that is going up for auction. I admit, I did not even know that this was a real person. But Harlan Sanders is the creator of KFC. You thought that was just made up by Madison? I thought it was like Wendy. I don't know. I just thought it was like a mascot.

Wendy's real, too. She's a real person, too. She's not real. She's a Satanist. She's the real daughter of the guy who started Wendy's. You don't know her. These are all based on real people. Well, we just make up mascots sometimes.

Does that mean Captain Crunch is real? Yeah. No, he's not. So is Ronald McDonald. Three tours of Nam, Captain Crunch. Harlan Crunch, his estate is being sold. So this is like over 50 years after the guy died, but his house, remnants of his personal estate, his country restaurant, his first one that he opened up, the first KFC, all that's going up for sale. His Bible, his traveling knife kit, some of his little homemade spice packets, and also a dusty pressure cooker that he used to perfect his fast frying method.

So how would you like to fry chicken in Colonel Sanders' pressure cooker that he learned to fry chicken in? It's probably going to sell for a lot, but that seems like something you could get for a good price would be pretty cool to have. There's also a string tie that he used to put on his little white suit. I feel like a lot of this stuff is racist. Come here, chickens. Oh, boy. You have no idea the rebirth of the chicken lady that took place yesterday at KROQ. It was a very exciting day for us.

We do have to talk about that. Congratulations to whoever buys that stuff. I'm sure you won't regret those purchases. I got KFC not too long ago, and I want to say they didn't give it to me in a bucket, and I felt like it tasted not as good. I have only had KFC once in my whole life. But I think the bucket was everything. I think they started going.

But the bucket is you got to go like 16 piece plus or something, right? Dude, I think I got a lot. It was like a family size, and I feel like they gave it to me in a bag or a box, and I was like, where's the bucket at, dude? Eating chicken out of a bucket is something about it. I don't know what it is. It makes you feel like. God, I ate a ton of wings out of a bucket one time, and I felt invincible.

Yes. I know that I just nominated the bucket for Lifetime Achievement Award earlier this week, but I think that... Again, double down. More food should be served in buckets. I stand by that statement. We're fat. Judge accordingly.

All right, you want to see Muse? Right after this song, we'll be looking for caller 20. 800-520-1067. This is the world famous K-Rock. Welcome to a brand new hour of K-Rock goodness. it is Klein Alley's show good morning and how the hell goes it

I'm Klein there's Alley that is DJ Omar Khan right there Jake Znerd what's up Postmaster Johnny and producer Vanessa

feverishly taking them calls in the back right now at 800-520-1067 people that want to get in on KROQ's summer ticket blowout these tickets are completely free

valued at hundreds if not thousands of dollars but they will be yours for free as we try to pack every single venue with KROQ listeners for all the shows

coming to Southern California including the Hollywood Bowl for Muse which is what we're giving away right now Yeah, I want to be at this show. I would like to be there as well. So if you don't have a plus one and you win two tickets,

Allie and I are going to make ourselves available. Take us. But you can also bring anyone if you're choosing. And we will go ahead and grab caller 20 in a moment. Then we will celebrate the birthday of one of the living legends, a national treasure who goes by the name Secondhand Cindy. Amazing that she's still living. She has, I mean, had so many near-death experiences.

I mean, everything from driving off cliffs to... I think she got hit by a bus once. Yeah. Oh, she's been hit by lots of things. And she tongue-kissed her brother. So we'll get into all that at the birthday of a second-hand Cindy in just a moment. I believe she's already on the phone waiting. And apparently she has been drinking this morning, I was told. So I was told to proceed with caution.

Hey, this hour on the show, a lot of people are talking about that movie Obsession, which is now available to watch on Peacock. Of course, it was one of those movies that I think cost a million dollars to make and generated $200 million or something. and people think it's amazing, and I think it has a perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes. And it's all about a guy that wants a girl to be obsessed with him, and then she gets very obsessed and kind of gets a little crazy.

But many people are watching this movie, and even though this woman is extreme crazy, they go, I have been in a relationship with a real human that did not have a curse put upon her, and she did crazier things. Well, you told your wife that. Yes, in the middle of obsession, at one point, this isn't going to give anything away,

the guy says, I'm going to go do a boys' night, And she goes, you're not going anywhere. And I said to my wife, I feel like I'm living this. It's like looking in a mirror. And then that caused a fight. And she's like, I'm not that crazy. And I'm like, I'm not crazy. I'm like, you're doing the same thing the woman on the screen is doing.

But I'm sure there are women or men who have done crazier things. Could be men, too. Probably women, but could be men, too. The thing is that women do crazy things that are, like, kind of harmless. Guys, when they do crazy things, they just murder. Yes. Yeah, that's true. So we'll get to your stories a little bit later to figure out if you think real life is more crazy than obsession.

And any stories from previous relationships or current ones, we'll take them coming up later this hour on KROQ. And we'll reward you handsomely with tickets to go cool off at Wild Rivers. $100 food and beverage credit plus a cabana for your usage while there. Right now, though, we start the winning with a brand new hour. As we say good morning to, it puts us on a 323 phone number if that's you. and your name happens to be Jennifer from Pasadena. Good morning, Jennifer. Hey, good morning.

You are going to see news. Congratulations. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for starting your day with us here at KROQ. Summer ticket blowout tickets are officially yours and we'll have another pair to give away next hour and every hour all day long. But consider your summer plans

at least partially taken care of. Jennifer, hold on. Okay. Thank you. That's Jennifer. She played the game beautifully. 20th caller. No skill needed.

Just got to pick up the phone and call. We get to this one from Evanescence, and then waiting on the other side of this song is a legend. You have been drinking today? Yes, I had a screwdriver. Oh, look at that. By one, do you mean seven? Well, probably would be with the amount of booze I put in it.

All right, we'll come back and say happy birthday to the birthday girl after this. Grab a buzz ball, lift it high to the sky, and let's toast the birthday gal. She is an absolute, one of our favorites, if not our favorite. That's why she was my pick in our fantasy. When we did drafted fantasy players from listeners of the show,

you better believe when I had the opportunity, I took secondhand Cindy immediately because she is a fascinating person. She's lived many lives and she shows up at our events, but more importantly, minus all of the DUIs, et cetera, she's a good person.

She's a great person. At her core. She is. And she's been a fan of the show since the beginning. Very beginning. Ten years. It's wild. She's never wavered.

And if you ever see her at an event, just sit down with her for five minutes. You'll get fascinating stories. You'll get a wonderful hug. She truly is one of the greats. And we say happy birthday. We found out today is her birthday. Blind Charlie tipped us off. So please welcome the birthday girl, Second Hand Cindy.

Secondhand Cindy, I'm sure that medical professionals never thought you would have been here to celebrate. And I know you don't want us to talk about the number, but it is such a funny number that we have to say happy 69th. Yeah, yes. It's a great number. Yeah, and I know that that's one of your favorite positions as well. You've talked about that many times off the air. Well, yeah, kind of. I have another one that's better, but we'll talk about that later.

I wanted to just clarify. No, no, no, we will not. What's the better one? What's the other one that's better? Well, let's see. The floor is yours, Cindy. Cindy, you can say whatever you want. No, no, she can't say whatever she wants.

She's got to say things that are radio clean. Yeah, I can't. I've got to be careful. But we'll just call it how she do with dogs. Oh. Right. Doggy. We know doggies.

Yeah, we know what you're getting at. Thank you. Okay. That's secondhand Cindy's favorite of the position. Now, secondhand Cindy, you once again have defied, in your many years on this planet, 69 is a big number. But you have almost died, oh, I don't know, 20 times easily. I mean, I know we've talked about times you drove your car off cliffs. I mean, you've had all sorts of things.

You were shot, weren't you? Many times. She was like 57. I just have to clarify something. Yes, I was shot August 17, 1974. I was 17. And then I fell off a cliff. I didn't drive off one.

Oh, sorry. Okay. Yeah, no big deal. It was called the Clam in San Diego. So I fell off that. How many feet did you fall? A hundred. And did you break bones?

Nothing. Wow. I know. I know. Seven stitches in my hand, that's it. But also, I mean, just the amount of cigarettes you've taken down your throat over the years, I mean, it's enough to kill villages of people, and yet here you are, 69, strong as an ox. Here I am.

I never thought I would make it past 32. We have the Surgeon General on the phone who would like to wish you a happy birthday. If you'd like to speak. Oh, no, he's hung up. He didn't want to. We booked him, but he didn't want to speak. Well, you did an exam recently, Cindy, right? And they said you've got a clean bill of health.

You're all good. Yes, I'm all good. They haven't really taken x-rays or handled my lungs, but I know those are all bad. But that's okay. Let me ask you a question, because the last time we saw you was at that fun buzz ball event we did to kick off the World Cup. And you got nice and, you know, I'd say you got a little lit at the end. You were having fun, yeah. You were having fun in the parking lot at one point.

Oh, yeah, she did. You were taking a picture, and you put down your chicken wing to take a picture, and then you were standing on your chicken wing. And someone said, hey, Cindy, you're stepping on your chicken, in which case you said, I know, and then you picked it up and ate it. You know what? And I do have to apologize. Yes, I did get buzzed. I do that rarely. where I'm, you know, kind of really buzzed, out of control.

But I do want to ask Jake. Jake, when we were driving home and I passed out, my question to you is, was my mouth open? I think, yeah, I think so. We have a video. Oh, gosh. Okay. Oh, no.

Okay. And also... What happens when your mouth's open? Oh, you know. No, we don't. What does that mean? Because Jake, were you... If Jake had made a move, Cindy, would you have been down to a party or no?

Yeah, why not? All right. I thought that was going to be your question while I was sleeping. Did you do anything to me? I was too hard. I was driving. Why was my mouth open? That's the question.

Do you have another question for Jake, or does that sum it up? Oh, no. That was it. You've just been wondering if your mouth was open. All right. Yeah, there's a video. Yeah, we could repost it, but it was you passed out while Jake drove you back from that event, and you were... And she passed out within, like, 30 seconds.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was very nice of Jake to give you a ride home, and very nice of you to come to our event at the 7-Eleven and drink all the buzz balls you can get your hands on, and we hope you have a great day today. What do you have planned? Oh, well, the plan is, first of all, I just want to clear something up. I didn't get hit by a bus. I sideswiped a semi, and then a semi hit me. Got it.

Yeah. Okay. Our details are a little off, but they're close enough that you get the picture. So you got hit by a semi? A semi hitter, not a bus. Yeah, a semi broadsided me one time, and then I sideswiped one. That was a D-line. You haven't corrected us on the claim that you tongue-kissed your brother at one point.

Yeah, I was going to address that. Did I say tongue? I don't believe we did that. We did kiss. We did kiss. On the mouth? Yes. And was your mouth open or closed for that?

Can't remember. It was quite a while ago. Maybe we did. She's lived a life. We've got to get you a ghostwriter to sit in a room and you just tell stories. Oh, my God. I would read the Cindy memoir. The publisher memoir.

Yeah. Because it's fascinating. And people always love you when you come to an event. It's always funny to hear people go, is that the secondhand Cindy? Oh, yeah. And I go, that's right. And they go, I couldn't tell. But then she was standing out there smoking nine cigarettes at once.

And I realized maybe that's her. But it's incredible. Yes. We're so thrilled that you've let us be a part of your life for this last almost 10 years now, and thank you. It's not all been easy for you. You've lived in and out of your car at times. You've been in and out of relationships. Remember you got that job?

You got hired at Taco Bell, then fired before your first day of work. Remember that? Yes, yes. But listen, it's— And then she was going to work as a caretaker, and then the guy she was caring for hit on her. Oh, that's right. The old man was being all pervy, and you said, I can't go back to that situation. Yeah, he was just weird.

I mean, it didn't scare me. It just kind of, like, freaked me out. He just wanted me to, you know, sit on his lap watching TV after I gave him a shower and he had no clothes on. So it was really weird. I said, I got to go. Someone making the point on the text line now that really secondhand Cindy is the most interesting woman in the world. I mean, I know we gave Ali the credit of being the cheapest. But if you think about it, the stories she tells, like, yeah.

She fell off the clam in San Diego and only needed seven stitches in her hand. Right. You really are the most interesting woman in the world secondhand, Cindy. And thank you for sharing some of your many stories with us and your time and being at all of our events. I know you're going to go see Jake tonight, tell the jokes at the improv, right? Yes, yes. Charlie is out shaking the sign. And after he's done with that, he is going to come to my house.

I'm going to make him lunch, a nice cup of hot coffee. We're going to visit a little bit, and then he is going to call his ride to pick us both up and go see Jake at the club. Awesome. What a great day. Cindy, before we say goodbye, and I wish you all the best on your birthday, and everyone please crack a buzz ball in honor of secondhand Cindy today. We're about to talk about the craziest things that anyone has ever done in a relationship, and I know you've had some crazy exes, et cetera, but anything that would be on the borderline of the movie obsession

that everyone's talking about now that has happened where either you've gotten insane or someone you were dating did something crazy? Well, let's see. Let me think. I know I've done some crazy stuff. Really, I'm the crazy one. But basically, this isn't really crazy, but Allie had been talking about it.

I did give my husband a threesome. Oh, good for you. Nice, nice. I mean, he loved it. How'd you find the other woman? Oh, she was a good friend of mine. She was working at a place in Pahrump, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, the town you drive through to get to Vegas?

Yeah. Well, there's a place out there for girls that work. Ah, yeah. Yes, yes. Is she talking about Nordstrom's? No, no. So, no, it's, well, you know what it is. It's a prostitute place.

They make, you know, they do whatever they do. And this girl that joined us, I had known her for a long time. Did she charge you or was that a freebie? Oh, no, it was a freebie. Oh, how nice. Nice. Good for you. Well, listen, you are unbelievable.

I like when Cindy tries to beat around the bush for like one second. I know. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about their horse, paid horse. It's a whorehouse. It's a whorehouse in Vegas. Oh, okay, I got it. With doggies.

Yeah, with dogs. Doggy style is what I'm saying. I like playing this word association game with you. We could do it all day. We got to take a break, though, because we got people lined up for the next call. I know. But happy birthday to the great secondhand Cindy. I'd say let's go 69 more years on this earth, but let's at least agree on six.

Let's give six good ones. If I have six, I'll be grateful. We love you, Cindy. National treasure. And listen, I want to tell you guys something. And that day, the buzz ball day, that was so special for me. You guys put that together for me and really, really touched my heart. Yeah, well, when we heard you read out the Surgeon General's warning on the back of the buzz ball, you know, we really were tearing up as well.

It meant a lot to us, too. Oh, good. Oh, good. Thank you so much. And thank you for all the birthday wishes. And we will talk soon. And I have some more stories to tell you guys. I think I was just going to call on the goat line and just tell a story. That's fine. That's there for you.

We get a story a week. And at Jake's thing tonight, we're going to put 69 cigarettes into a cake of some sort, and you can blow them out at some point. Okay. Sounds great. All right. Someone is volunteering now. Listen to this, Allie.

I am a legitimate writer from the 818. I volunteered to ghostwrite secondhand Cindy's memoir. Dude, there are people who are so good at that. They can just take the stories and weave a perfect picture, break it up into chapters. I would do it. Secondhand Cindy, if we connect you with one of these listeners that says that they actually know how to write, maybe they jot down some of your stories, and we put a book out, and then we send you on a big national book tour. Okay, sounds good.

Oh, boy, there she goes. 69 years. Good one. Secondhand Cindy. Thank you, guys. Happy birthday. Sorry, I know we're late. I know, Vanessa, we're late, but secondhand Cindy, time is delicate.

She gets priority. over the breaks. I'm sure the accident guys will understand when we play their commercial a little late. When we get back, here's the question. Obsession is getting all the attention right now for a woman that has gone absolutely crazy in a relationship. Not her fault. He made a wish.

And I think everyone that didn't see it in theaters is watching it now because it's on Peacock. I watched it too recently. So the question for you is, in real life, what is the craziest thing that has happened in a relationship that you were a part of? We'll come back with your stories after this. I'm K-Rock. All right, no judgment. It's K-Rock. We're Klein Alley Show, but I think we're about to hear some stories that will make you think about your relationship either in a very positive way or potentially it's time for you to lock, change your locks immediately.

Well, I think once you realize, once the crazy red flags fly, it's hard to go back. I think people have always been crazy, and I think that passion, relationships can bring out the actual crazy in you for a variety of reasons. But when this movie, Obsession, took off and, you know, it's a short, not an expensive movie to make. I think that's what they keep saying. Shot the whole thing around the San Fernando Valley area, Burbank. Jake's like, oh, that. Of course, Jake knew the store where they're like, where he bought the magic sticks. That's my store.

Yeah, and then Johnny knew the music shop that they worked at. So it's a lot of local places in the movie, Obsession. But a little, like a little low-budget movie that was shot and just has gone on to make millions and millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, it's made like $400 million. And the fact that people can watch the movie and go, wow, that's kind of relatable to my relationship is probably not the way you should be watching that movie. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it is a be careful what you wish for type of movie. The story's been told many times.

You don't need to. This ain't going to ruin it for you if you haven't seen it yet. But a guy wants this girl to be into him and she's not into him. So he makes this wish that he wants her to be obsessed. And then she becomes obsessed. And you got to be careful what you wish for because obsessed can easily lead to crazy obsessed. And that's kind of what happens for most of the movie. So, we're going to ask you now, because I saw parts of that movie that I said, this looks like my relationship.

And that's probably not the way you should look at it. So, what is the craziest thing any of the people you've ever dated or currently are dating or married to have done? Let's say hi to Haley. We start with you. Make our way up and down these phone lines. Good morning, Haley. Hi. Hi, guys.

Good morning and sweet dibs. Sweet dibs. What's up? My obsession story is that my ex, he would only let me pleasure myself with the silicone mold of his penis if I wanted to mess with him. whoa that is so controlling uh hold on how does that uh even come about i mean uh like he says i made this for you this is what you will use now and nothing else yeah he said that i can only use that and nothing else because he feels like he has to always be like a part of it i mean to be fair though how does he really know i mean when you're doing that you're usually by yourself right

oh he didn't okay i was afraid to use it i didn't i don't know yeah i would assume that you'd want to use anything but that i mean that would seem like that's the freebie that's the that's the one you got absolutely you got access to that whenever might as well go uh you know one of those ones that's got 15 different rotating settings totally i mean that's the upgrade they've made that a way better version of every man's thing but that is interesting though that's a crazy level of obsession to think, like, if you are going to take care of yourself, you are only going to use this, which I

made of myself. And imagine the giving of that present. Open it. It's my day. Are you, uh, are you guys broken up? Have you broken up? Um, I actually broke up with him last October. So, I threw it away.

Oh, you threw it away. And I was scared to throw it away, because I didn't want anybody to see it. So, I put it in a sock, and I put it in a box, and then I put it in the trash. I don't know. You're the crazy one now. D in a box.

It's a D in a box. It's a hilarious trick. Well, good for you for breaking up with him. Good job, Haley. Wow, that is a certain level of obsession. 800-520-1067.

You can call. You can text. Craziest thing. Once again, this movie is bringing out the crazy in people, but also letting people look at their own relationships

going, you know what? That's actually on par with something I've dealt with. Kelly, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hi. Hi. How are you guys?

Good. Are you the crazy one or were you dating the crazy one? That's hard to tell. I'm the crazy one. Ah, it isn't hard to tell. Let's all have a pleasant laughing in this call. Go ahead, Kelly.

I accept it. What happened? Okay. So back when I was in college, back in like the 2000s, I was obsessed with this guy I was dating. I was so obsessed with him that if I wasn't in contact with him, I was driving by his house to see if he was there. I was driving by his work as he was there.

And because I went to college in kind of like a smaller town, I knew that if he was out driving around, that if I went out driving around, I might run into him. So I used to just go out driving around our, like, area, hoping that I would just, like, run into him and, like, see his truck and just be like, oh, my God, because I could not handle not seeing him and not talking to him. I was so obsessed with this guy.

How did that end? Did he get a restraining order against you or? No. No, it was dropped. I didn't get a restraining order against me. Uh-huh. So. All right, Kelly.

No judgment here. And wait a minute. Kelly, do you do this with, did you do this with other guys or it was just him? No, it was just him. Wow. Interesting. I don't, I have no idea what it was with him. Yeah.

But like, it was like crazy. And I got to tell you, like, this was like 25 years ago. I still know where he lives I'm looking at him right now he's trapped he's dead on a chair I'm wearing a skin alright well Kelly

no judgment yeah we don't judge you good morning Jason talking about Real Life Crazy everyone's obsessed with Obsession the movie now which is streaming on Peacock but as a result people are going hey you know what my relationship had crazier stuff going on what happened with you

Hey, good morning, sweetie. But after hearing that previous girl, I don't know if my story kind of matches up to it, but I have an ex who messaged all my friends individually to tell them to stop messaging me and stop hanging out with me so she could spend more time with me. Oh, wow. She took your phone and texted all of your friends

from her or from you? No, she, from her, she would reach out to all my friends individually and tell them to stop hanging out with me and stop talking to me. And how did you find this out? Obviously, your friends told you? Yeah, obviously, they were like, hey, she's a little crazy.

Yeah. And then did you break up with her after that, or did you stay with her for a while? We had a talk, and eventually it didn't work out, of course. Yeah. See, I wonder if, like, with Kelly, she was only obsessive with that one person. I wonder if the- It's just chemical. There's a chemical thing that happens.

Same reason, like, they say, you know, pheromones, you smell. Jake says he's got that natural musk, and Jake's dead. That's clearly not true. But the idea that there are certain pheromones, there are certain combinations of people where I think that, like, you could be a totally sane version of yourself with someone, but someone else brings out a crazy in you. Yeah. And it's a chemical thing.

Or you're just not, maybe you're just not confident that they love you back, so you feel like you always have to make sure and hold them and control them. Matt, we are talking about levels of crazy that you've experienced in real life relationships because sometimes the reality of life is even weirder than the movie Obsession. Go ahead, what happened to you? Yeah, so in high school, I broke up with a girl. and, like, a couple days after we broke up, she would come to my work

and after that didn't work for a while because I wouldn't serve her, she mailed me, like, a fake pregnancy test. Oh, wow. You know that there's a lot of great documentaries about crazy women who are doing this right now. It's a big thing. What, the fake pregnancy test?

Yeah, the fake pregnancy test because that's how they kind of lure the guy back in and then they start making up the fake sonograms. It's easy to get them these days. Oh, yeah, you just buy, like, the chemical? Yeah. And then you just keep on, how long can you fake that boar before they realize there's no baby growing inside? Well, then you can fake a miscarriage, and then you just start it all over again.

Probably for six years now. I've never seen this kid. You are still not showing. Okay, hold on. That is, woof. Some of these, like that's the thing when you watch that movie, it was freaky enough that there's moments where you get like that. But it's like subtle freaky for so long. Yeah.

Stephanie, good morning. What is the craziest thing, real life crazy now, not to be confused with the movie Obsession, which apparently was not based on real life, but feels like it was based on these calls. What's up? I was younger. I was a teenager, and I was dating a guy who was much older than me. And I ended up in rehab. So he steals a car to come and, like, visit me because I wasn't answering his phone calls.

And he was just driving around in circles around this rehab. And then, like, six years later, he ends up in prison with my ex-husband in the same cell. And as soon as he walks into the cell and sees my picture on the wall, he goes, oh, that's Stephanie. I know her. And I just got a phone call from my ex and he was telling me all about this. And then he would completely just talk about me all the time to my ex-husband. Like he never got over you. Yes.

And the stories were always changing, but it was always like, oh, don't keep Stephanie waiting type of stuff. I know how she could get mad. And it was just really weird because we didn't even date for that long, but he was just immediately obsessive. Man, it's crazy. What are the chances that two people in the same cell dated the same girl and then they can just talk about you? In this particular case, I feel like that story checks out in every possible way.

It really feels like it does. It's not shocking. Devin on KROQ. Good morning. Hi. Hey, good morning. So the girl that I'm with right now, I love her. She's great.

But she tells me that she wants to be in my skin. What does that mean? I don't know. So we'll be cuddling, and she'll squeeze me really tight. And she'll be like, oh, I can't get close enough. And she'll whisper to me, I want to be in your skin. And does this happen every time you're together, or was this like a one-off? Oh, no, it's all the time.

Like, when I have to go to work, she'll be like, can I just come sit in your car and wait for you to get off? And what is your response usually? Are you just laughing it off? I kind of laugh it off but yeah I mean I just want to keep my skin yeah I get it

maybe you give her a little piece of it like a skin in your knee or something give her that oh I got a question if she's that crazy like how good is she in bed

that's that whole theory right oh yeah she's great that's all right oh she can eat my skin I don't care that answers all those questions guys can overlook

a lot of crazy as a final word and by the way if you haven't seen Obsession yet you can watch it if you're in one of these relationships like we're hearing from people

you may go hey look at this It's like they stalled for my life to make this movie. What's up, Ezra? Ezra, go on. Hi. Hi. So, yeah, I met this person on Facebook.

We ended up dating, meeting in person. Everything was fine at the beginning. Didn't really know each other. And then we tried to do a business, which failed. And I ended up moving and living with her, trying to find work. Got a job, quit, and I couldn't find work for a while. And then she kind of got tired of me not working, so she said, I'll give you $10,000 so you can find your own place.

I said, okay, fine. So she gave it to me, and then I moved out. I did what she wanted me to do. And once I moved out, things flipped. All of a sudden, all my belongings in her garage are non-accessible. Oh, so she stole your stuff? Yeah. And, you know, I try to get stuff from her, but no.

And I have all my valuable stuff. I've got thousands of dollars worth of stuff in there. You still currently have your stuff being held hostage by this woman? Yes. But she gave you real $10,000, real money? Yeah. She's like, here, get out, move out. I said, okay, fine.

So, you know, I don't know if she's like... That sounds great. If someone paid me $10,000 to leave, I'd be like, goodbye, you can keep all my crap. Yeah, you can buy new crap now. I don't have to move out all my stuff. That sounds like that's a different level of crazy there, too. Crazy awesome. Yeah, I'm obsessed with your story, man.

What's the problem, Ezra? All right, Ezra's just calling a brag, clearly. We've got to take a break. I wish we could get to the rest of these, but apparently we'll make a note. We could do this again in the future because there's no shortage of people that are in crazy relationships or were in crazy relationships at one point. When we get back, we make it worth your while with more tickets to another show.

This time, it's Avenged Sevenfold. It's part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout, and that will be after this. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. There's no stopping the news, so let's get into it. ADD News official check, and then a brand-new hour of the show will officially begin here at KROQ. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. Now that Waymos have been around for a little while, They've been able to get some info on just how much better they are at driving than we are. And overall, the results are not shocking. They're way better at it than we are because they're not distracted and pleasuring themselves and distracted with their phones. But every day there's a story about a Waymo that causes like a giant accident, though. Well, there have been a lot of Waymo accidents. Overall, the chances of a Waymo getting in a crash are 68 percent lower than a human.

But there have been, especially in the last couple of weeks, a lot of Waymo crashes. There was one in Atlanta where a Waymo caught on fire after a Jeep rear-ended it, which is a little worrisome that it can catch fire that quickly, especially if you're in it. But then there was one in L.A. This happened on Pico. Again, this was not the Waymo's fault. A blue car had struck a pedestrian and then went into the Waymo. Two people have been hospitalized after a crash involving a Waymo robo-taxi.

It happened about 5.45 yesterday morning. A Waymo spokesperson says a blue car struck a pedestrian with a cart. So, probably a homeless person. Is the spokesperson for Waymo a robot also? That's so cool. A blue car. Let me tell you what happened. I'm excited to debut our brand new game Waymo or Romo, where we decide if a Waymo did it or if Tony Romo did it while driving. It'll be very difficult to figure out. Both of them apparently love action and pro.

Refusing to get out of the vehicle. Yeah. Was it a Waymo or a Romo? Outside of a crosswalk, then swerved into oncoming traffic. hitting the Waymo. Two people were hospitalized with unknown injuries. I mean, when these crashes continue to happen, and they will, how is it going to happen when a...

Like, if I hit a Waymo, I am way more likely to just drive away. They got a million cameras on them, though. Yeah, I know, but how are they going to find me? They'll find you. They got pictures. They got a license plate. They're going to send me some in the mail? I didn't get it.

I'm just saying, when there's a person in the car, you feel more accountable to, like, pull over, exchange information. And I hate to break it to you, but I'm out of here. You're becoming more findable by the moment, by the way. You're very findable. I can find you now from about 500 feet away easily. I mean, you're getting more findable as you continue to get larger. But I will say that the Waymo, for the first time ever,

and I believe this is proof the future is now, we received our first ever submission for Park Week involving a Waymo. No way. Yeah, the first ever poorly parked Waymo was submitted to us for Park Week, And that's exciting when robot cars are now in the mix, because you would think if any of those cars could park right. But I guess it was trying to do one of those charging stops or something. And it was had its ass out blocking, blocking traffic. Waymo.

Waymo. Well, and also robots learn from humans. So eventually they are going to drive like douches if they're going to drive like humans. Absolutely. If you plan to run for president, you better make sure there are no skeletons left in your closet. Gavin Newsom, who is undeniably loved by everyone in California. Everyone loves him. He's very lovable.

He's not like one of those slick politician types that always feels like they're like lying to you and trying to sell you a used car. Yeah, when he greases his hair back and talks with his raspy voice, you know you can trust him, right? Yeah. He's admitted to mistakes that he's made in the past, mainly an affair that he had 20 years ago with one of his staffers when he was mayor of San Francisco. But now, many years later, his mistress is telling her side of the story. And you know she's telling the truth because she talked about how she wet the bed on their first night together. They hooked up at a wedding, which is, I mean, so predictable, right? One of the top places that cheating happens, I think.

It's like office place and weddings, and they kind of did both. They had had a lot to drink. They slept together. Then she woke up completely soaked in her dress because she had wet herself. And she was like, oh, my God, I just slept with the mayor and I wet myself. I need to get the F out of here. So she left. And then the next day he put this like gold bracelet that she had left at his place on the on the desk, like, hey, let's see each other again kind of thing, which is such a weird, ballsy thing to do in the workplace.

But then she was like, we kept seeing each other. But she talks about how she was a huge alcoholic. And then eventually she went to rehab and confessed to her husband. Her husband was like one of his best friends, Gavin Newsom. So he was sleeping with one of his best friend's wife. So scandalous. Yes, but I know, but it's like, I guess it's good that all this stuff is coming out now, but... Like, well, who cares? In the age of Trump, this is not a scandal.

Well, I know, but it's pretty incredible that this woman is, you know, willing to say all the embarrassing things about herself, because that's a pretty embarrassing story, and be like, I'm the girl who wet the bed, and then he still wanted to see me after. It must have been great. If he is a good politician, he would have spun that to be like, see how wet she got? That's right. That's right. Remember this name, Gavin Newsom. She woke up and her dress was soaked.

Soaking wet. That's what I can do. I pooped my pants and I don't have underwear. Is that her? Oh, my God. Wow. She is in a tell-all scenario. That's scandalous.

Would you like to own an iconic murder house? The Sharon Tate murder house is up for sale. It's currently owned by Jeff Franklin, who's the producer of Full House. I guess he has a dark side. But the house was actually, it's a new house that was built on top of the house where Sharon Tate and all those others were murdered by the Manson followers. So they tore down that house, built this big mansion on top of it. Apparently, the mansion is pretty awesome. It's this big Mediterranean-style mansion.

It has a 220-foot swimming pool that can fit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I've been in this house before. But it's on sale for $45 million. Yeah, I think at one point they were trying to sell it for $100 million. Yeah, he says he's been trying to sell it for years. So originally, my buddy who's in real estate was trying to sell this house. And when he was trying to sell it, he's like, Hey, I'm going over to learn more about the house. Do you want to come?

And I'm like, I don't really want to go. And he's like, dude, you got to come. Oh my God, you have to go. No, I went, I went. It was, it was unbelievable. The house is crazy. Like the house is just really beautiful? Like sharp fish tanks in the middle of the living room.

Whoa. Full on lazy river. Big ass water, like, like almost like commercial style water slide. That's the thing now though, is to have a lazy river in your, in your property. Yeah, but that's a lazy river on the side of a canyon in Hollywood. This isn't one of those, you know, usually I drive to like Palm Springs to get a lazy river. This is like lazy river in the hills of Hollywood. So why won't it sell?

Is it just because of the Sharon Tate stand? I think it's got the stank that people were murdered there. Even though it was a totally new build. But I think Trent Reznor lived there for a bit as well. And I think Trent Reznor had put a pretty cool recording studio in the house. I mean, I couldn't even get through. I was there for a few hours and I still hadn't seen, I feel like, even part of it. I was just like, well, man, I don't even like to know when places like that exist because it makes me feel like such a loser.

Because I like to not know that there's like these types of houses. That there are houses with shark tanks in them. People are living in that house on a daily basis. I don't even want to... Is that what you want? You want some sharks? Well, I feel like... No, I think just seeing a shark tank was triggering for Klein.

It was... Because all the... They're all saying, no, we're out. No, we're out. We're out. It triggered me. Thank you, Allie. I can't go.

So I ran out and jumped off the cliff. It was almost my murder house as well. Jumped into the lazy river. We get it. Yeah, but I don't know. Look, if I had a 40... What is it for sale for? 45 million?

45, yeah. It was 50. Easy Place looks... It's crazy. It's crazy cool. It's crazy, but you know when you're in a house that nice, you start looking at stuff, you go like, eh, that... I don't like the layout. That railing is a little dated.

I get all judgy about it. I'm like, really? That's the choice they went with? This dry patch of grass here? Yeah. To walk all the way over there for the movie theater? Forget it. I leaned over to someone, I'm like, yeah, but the utilities here are probably not cheap. And they're like, shut up, dude. Leave me alone, you poor man. We know you don't belong here.

Brand new hour of the show, which we kick off in moments. The greatest hour of your life is just ahead on KROQ. KROQ. Good morning. This is the world famous KROQ. Hell yeah. Good morning and welcome to KROQ. Especially if you plan on being color 20 right now. Give you some tickets. Part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout. Avenged Sevenfold show will be yours every hour.

New tickets, new bands, new shows happening between now and the end of the year. So get in while you can. Get in while the getting's good here. KROQ's summer ticket blowout. It's also Park Week, which means we've been receiving tons of submissions of terribly parked cars all over Southern California. Do not hesitate to get those to us. You can tag us at Klein Alley Show. And then also we will tell you to submit them officially at krock.com slash park week so we can give you the ultimate grand prize, which is three shows.

Two of them at Petco Park. And you've got Pierce the Veil and Dia de los Deftones at Petco Park. Rolls right off the tongue. For a white lady. We're going to make that happen for you and then also get you into another show. Rise Against. Rise Against. So ultimate grand prize, whoever gives us the worst parker,

as we publicly shame all the bad parkers in Southern California. And there's been a lot of similar stuff we've received. As per usual, there's different categories of bad parkers. We'll go through some of those submissions we've gotten this hour. And if you're waiting to send us or you haven't come across a bad parker yet, don't worry, today could be your day. it is officially Park Week and we need your help to save the streets of Southern

California and beyond because people are sending us bad parkers across the country now new bad parkers that badly park in ways we never knew was possible so let's go ahead and say good morning Chicago 20 and then we give you the even

greater news of a brand new hour of KROQ in store for you and you can watch us as we are streaming live on YouTube right now as well so you can see what the show looks like there You never know when Allie could break out into some white lady dancing like she did yesterday during the big gender reveal announcement. That was not Allie's baby. There's been a lot of confusion. Did we reveal the gender of Allie's baby?

No. We have no idea what thing is growing inside of Allie right now. Could be a they. We don't even know. So we will get to that, I'm sure, sooner or not. When are you going to do your reveal? Next week? We can do it next week or the week after.

I actually just took the blood test yesterday that officially determines it. Oh, so you now know. I don't have the results yet. Oh, okay. Well, you're supposed to know anyway. Yeah, because I chose the embryo that had a certain sex, but this is like the double confirmation. Oh, there were no oopsies.

This was the right one that you picked. I'm rooting for oopsies. Come on, oopsies. Let's go, oopsies. Well, I hope for oopsies, too, a little bit, because then I'd probably have a lawsuit. Hey, Sarah. Hey, good morning.

You're from North Hollywood, and you are the 20th caller right now on KROQ. Congratulations. Yay, thank you, thank you. I know you're thinking, what's the point of even trying? I'll never get through. I'll never get on the air. And now here we are.

We've got tickets for you to go see Avenged Sevenfold as part of KROQ Summer Ticket Blowout. Congratulations. Thank you so much. You are very welcome. Everyone's been so pleasant today. I know. No problems. No weirdos.

What's going on? Well, I mean, then we did have that whole segment about crazy people and then the secondhand Cindy call. So there's still been plenty of weirdos on the show today. Right. We didn't say crazy people caller 20. We just said caller 20. Congratulations. More stuff to give you this hour on KROQ.

Put some respect on our goddamn name. Klein Alley Show on KROQ. Thank God for Will Klein, Dodgers pitcher, who went out there during last year's World Series. And when he came in and they said Klein is going into the game, I said, if this does not go well, I will be somehow affected by this because Klein will be a laughingstock of a city and he could be that guy. Every sports franchise, every city has some player that has done so poorly that they become almost like an ongoing meme joke for the remainder of the entire existence of that team. They're a legend just for the failure of it. And I go, please don't let this happen to this guy, Klein. He's a ginger, so he's already got one strike against him.

But he went out there and he pitched unbelievable. And some people say that, you know, obviously a lot of heroes of that World Series last season for the Dodgers, but Will Klein definitely gets a lot of glory. And I was excited because it costs extra if you want to get a Dodgers jersey and you want to put your own name on it. But if you buy a jersey that already has a player's name on it, it is more affordable.

And I said, so it's easier to just get, hopefully a team gets a player that has your name on it so you can just go get one of those jerseys. Did you get one? If your last name is Otani, you're in luck because there's no shortage of merchandise you can get that has your name on it, which is great. Right. Well, apparently, I did not, when I went to get it at the store, they actually didn't have any yet because they said he's a backup, backup, backup pitcher. Oh, I remember this. He's deep in the bullpen. Right, right.

There was not enough demand for the Will Kline jerseys. They're like, that ginger? We don't have his jersey. Yeah, we don't make ginger jerseys here. is what they said to me. I said, that's offensive, but now I think you can get it. Well, listen to this, Allie. Will Kline was approached before a Dodgers game recently,

and he was asked about our show, and he was told that at the same time that he broke into the spotlight that at least the person who was chatting with him believed that there was some sort of an effect that it had on our show as well because all of a sudden people started associating Kline with victory and goodness and greatness, and they think that we got some of the rubs from his shine. Some of his shine rubbed off on us.

Oh, okay. So it was a fluke and it was also just because somebody else did something cool? Yeah, we get no credit. It's a bit of a stretch. Dave Stiles, who works in radio, he's been in radio a while, but he's the in-stadium announcer. What a cool gig, man. It's a really cool gig and he does a good job of it.

It's not easy. He's the guy who's always running around during the Dodgers games, getting people to play games and interviewing people in the stands and every inning he's somewhere else And, you know, these games now, it's exhausting because they can't. Because they need something entertaining. Right, because baseball is such a bore, according to Omar, that they have to constantly be playing games with people.

You can only do the where's the ball inside the hat thing so many times. They do it a lot. They do it a lot. Hold up fingers. Three, two, it's got to be two. Come on. I always get it right. Three.

Of course you get it right. Everyone is so impossibly easy. I was hard. They want everyone to get it right. I think they even lift up the hats and show you where the ball is again one more time. That's how you know you win. I do. In the middle, they give you another peek.

They give you another peek at it. Jake's going, I got this one. I'm undefeated. So anyway, he goes up to Will Klein, and he talks about our show. And anyway, this is a very humbling moment, but nice to know that we're at least on the radar of a Dodgers pitcher by the name of Will Klein. So Will Klein, there's a guy who's on the morning show on KROQ named Klein. Are you familiar?

No. Klein and Allie, and ever since... Very quick. That was so fast. Lightning fast. I've done nothing but say wonderful things about this man and how amazing it is and how I'm honored to share the last name with this guy that went out and just became such a hero for the Dodgers.

I don't remember you saying any of this. I said some of that stuff. I'm honored to share a name with this legendary pitcher. When did this happen? I said some of that stuff. Probably off the air, but I said it. Are you familiar? That was the quickest response.

I'll tell you, I think that guy's got a fast fastball. You should see how fast he is at saying no, he's never heard of our show. I know. That was wild. You could tell he just wants Dave to go away now. Familiar? Klein and Ali. And ever since you became, you know, you had that World Series moment, he became popular.

If you have anything you want to say to your counterpart, the other Klein. Represent the name well. Let's keep it going. Yeah. So, nice words from a... Let's keep it going, but not this competition. Yeah, I want nothing to do with this anymore. He's not a great guy.

Do you want to say this at him? It's a hero. You can say that. I don't... He's too nice. He's nicer than you. He's the nicer Klein. So now that guy's being called the nicer Klein, Will Klein of the Dodgers.

And if you ever like to come on the show, maybe one of these Fridays that I decide to not show up. I don't think he's listening. Yeah, why don't you keep inviting him? Like, he's in his car right now. Will Klein, we know you're a huge fan of this program. So please. Come on in. Thank you, Dave Stiles, for reporting live from Dodger Stadium and giving us one of the players.

And putting him in a bad mood. Yeah, I mean, it's ballsy to come up to him and bring all this up. We'll post that up on our Instagram, but he looks angry the entire time this is happening. And I feel bad for that, but also glad we got it nonetheless. Do you wish that this hadn't happened? I wish, yes. So you could just live in a dream world? Of course I wish this had never happened.

Are you kidding me? What good of this comes of any of this? The guy says no, never heard of them. How do you feel about the shirt you have now? Still going to wear it? I don't know why. I got it. Don't know why.

Now you just look like you're a big fan of his. no one knows you're Klein you're right oh you like that ginger picture you weirdo they sold one we uh take a break

we're back in a moment more show after this hey Rob Klein Ali's show people ask me for updates did I get myself a leaf blower yesterday as I planned on doing

sadly I did not get it a lot of people want to know why but alright Klein I'm in I got my leaf blower Omar can bring his

we'll meet up like superheroes at night and we'll just go and start blowing cities out blow people's yards Crap. Let's do it. I'm in on that, dude.

Woo, blow bros. We all meet up in the middle of the night with all these flows. That's kind of gay to me, dude. No, it's not. We'll get up at night and blow. Come up with another name, man. It's cool. This guy is convinced that Omar is setting me up for failure yet again.

Omar, you suggest climbing into 125er, mild power blowing thing. That'd be like holding on to a balloon with the air getting let out, dude. It'd be flying around on that thing. What, are you going to ride it to work, dude? Yeah, right. You couldn't even handle a 10-mile-per-hour wind instead of the weight. Oh, thanks.

What? Keep the blower so the real guys do that and stay on the ground, dude. You know, hop on, like, a broomstick. Don't stay on the lot, you weirdo. Call TaskRabbit to do your stuff for them. Come on, man. Keep your weenie track back.

I am serious about it, though. Did you order it yet? No, I didn't. I got all... Yes, sir. I had to do something. Here's another three weeks of Klein saying he's serious about leaf blower.

I'm getting the leaf... I will get it today. I also had to do a terrible thing, and if you're a parent, you may have to do this at one point. They don't tell you this part. You see everyone having kids, and you say, oh, it's going to be so fun, and kids are fun, and you get pictures of them, and they smash a cake. Who the hell says that? I think people think that when they have a kid, when they decide they're going to have a kid. I mean, we did that gender reveal yesterday.

Everyone was all happy. It's all high fives and happy. Cute. And then you meet with an orthodontist, and they say you have to get a palate expander, and you go, what is that about? Oh, yeah, I might get that one. It's some medieval torture device that they crank into your kid's mouth that they have to wear.

Do you feel like you're abusing your children when you make them do that? Of course. It looks torturous. Isn't it scary, Klein? Yes, and then you've got to go in there with another medieval tool and crank the thing. You've got to crank it.

It literally is what they used to do when they would torture people. They'd be like, tell us where the witches are. I'm not telling you. And then they'd crank, crank. I am shocked we have not come up with better systems for this in 2026. We're still just doing hand crank?

Same with the blood pressure. The whole thing is insanity. It is full-blown insanity, and I had to put that into... I now have two daughters that both have these... That are both nerds. They both have these palate expander things in, and once again, I have no... They seem so young, dude. Once again, they claim the earlier you start, the better.

Yes, there we go. Al, you should probably get one for your unborn child right now while they're inside of you. But I thought you wanted to wait until they're all into adult teeth. No. They still have baby teeth. They're almost all gone. That's what I did. They quote, I have no idea.

They know I'm a dummy. Sucker. So they look at me and they go, well. Or they look at your mouth and go, this guy. Well, my parents didn't do anything for my, but they ended up getting the last laugh because my teeth all got knocked out by a baseball. So they were like high-fiving each other. They didn't waste any time fixing my teeth because they would have been knocked out anyway.

What a risk that you're taking on these teeth. You're investing in these teeth. Investing in them. And who knows? Maybe my kid's getting a meth later in life. Why would I waste money on teeth now? making their smile, but they claim there's nowhere for the, they show you these x-rays

and they try to freak you the F out because they go here's what the mouth looks like now and then they basically do, like I thought it was a joke from the Simpsons, but it's a real life thing. They basically say if you choose to not do anything this is what their mouth will look like in five years. And they show you the guy from the Goonies.

And they show you like Jewel. Yeah, it's like shark teeth. It's like different rows of teeth. That's what I had. Yeah, they show you like the mouth that doesn't even look human. And then they go, and if you are okay with your kids looking like that and going to school and having to open their mouth and being bullied, then you don't have to do

anything right now. And I'm like, alright, I like her. Or, if you would like to give them the best chance to not be bullied and made fun of. They won't look like this Mako shark. I thought they were showing me Shark Week. And then they put in this

device, and I'm telling you, the thing looks like it was... Nobody's making fun of Bruiser, man. I know, that's, well, now Bruiser She can headbutt him now. But sadly, now Bruiser's got this device in, and she's lost her edge. It's like a muzzle. I should roll audio, but I mean, it's everything's like, because you can't move it.

You need a recorder. I feel so bad because it's hilarious, and she's like, and I was like, what? Yeah, I can't understand a damn thing you're saying. She's like, is that right, that front? And I'm like, slightly, just a slight one. And I don't know if you get used to it. Do you get used to it?

Because you're always expanding it, right? So it always hurts. As soon as you get used to it, I got to go up there like the torture guy. Like one of those black hoods and go in there at nighttime right when they're in bed. Just like lay down like Frankenstein. Time to come in and bring out the torture and crank, crank. I mean, it's the same thing they do to, aren't there people doing those experimental leg lengthening procedures where they do the same thing? Yeah, your daughter just looks maxing.

Definitely not look maxing at all. It's wallet maxing is what it is. It's terrible. I know. So yeah, dental insurance doesn't cover any of this. But had I bought the leaf blower and I couldn't go yesterday because I had to deal with that, it covers some of it, not a lot. And they know it going in.

They're like, it sucks too. It's a terrible, the whole thing is a terrible experience from what they say it's going to cost to what they say, well, you go, oh, I have dental insurance. And they go, oh, that's cute. And you're like, what? It's cute. Oh, insurance. Just sign here and shut up.

That's a beautiful thing. But where is this going to lead? Is this preventing things later, like they're going to have beautiful teeth? This is the scam, because here's what they say. If all goes according to plan, this should create enough space in their mouth so that when their big teeth come in, there'll be plenty of space for the big teeth, and we can just go ahead and say goodbye, have a great life. But also, sometimes, even after we do this, there's not enough space for the big teeth, or they come in at a weird angle, or a million other things could happen, and then we're back into another situation. situation. And all I hear is a ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching,

ka-ching. It's like construction, where it's like, it's supposed to work out like this. Does it ever? No. It's always twice as expensive and twice as long. And they always say like, oh yeah, we should be done with this by August at the latest. And then you're like, where are they? They're gone. But Omar's right, and I don't know when

this device was originally invented, but I promise you there's been not one advancement made to it since it was originally invented, which is no other things. I mean, it's like the dentist just decided after the iPhone 1, what are you going to stick with this one? This one's fine. Well, iPhone 15, forget it.

We don't need it. We got the 1. It was made like a brick. Yeah, but then they always get a new x-ray machine every single year. Then they have flat screens on the walls now. They have upgrades they're making, just not to that. Not to that. All of these things are just, I mean, it's total.

It says, like, 1860. Yeah. It's probably 1860 technology. It really is. It's like, I think the same people that made Gary's arm made this thing for my kid's mouth. And if you don't do it now, this is what you'll look like. 310, I don't know if you're into this, but this person had a palate expander as a kid,

and my dad would give me two Tylenol and a sip of cognac before he cranked it every day. Oh, cognac. I've got to find a bottle of cognac. That's great for me, probably, once I get the bill. A full bottle of cognac. Hey, Dawn, good morning. You're on KROQ. Hi.

Hi, sweet kids. I just wanted to let you know that I had a palate expander in the late 80s. went through the torture, then they decided I didn't need it, so then I had to do it in reverse. Oh, my God. You've got to be kidding me with this. See, I think dentists are making it up as they go along.

I agree. I don't think any of them know what is going on. I think it's all just guessing, and they go, we could be right, we could be wrong. I think it's just a scrapey, scrapey, flossy, flossy. So let me get this straight. You went through the thing they said to do, which was put that thing in, crank it up every night,

open your mouth all big, fat, and wide, and then they decided we went too big, and they didn't have to do it, So now we have to crank it the other direction? What had happened is that I apparently didn't have one of my incisor adult teeth. So they ended up ripping one of my bottom teeth out and then making me crank my face back together to put braces on. This is the part that blows my mind about dentists in general. And I know it's a hateable profession.

But it's like when they make a mistake, they get rewarded by getting paid again. By getting more work. Like, oh, oopsies, that's our bad. What incentive they have. We now need to rip out these teeth and put them there, which we can do for a price. And you're like, wait, what? You're the ones who made the mistake on the first thing. Yeah, it's like when something's kind of broken, just don't mess with it.

Right. Because once you start taking off the lid of the toilet and figuring out what's going on in there, there's all kinds of problems, and then you realize that it's a bigger project than you imagined. You know how you could avoid all this? Don't go. Just don't go to the dentist. Just stop going. Let's all just take a stand.

It's got its own potential problems there, Allie. I'll have a little crust strips. We'll fix it. I'll take care of all problems. If you'd like to join us for a lightning round of Johnny Doesn't Know, win yourself some Klein Alley Show merch. Call now, 800-520-1067. Oh, there we go. KROG Klein Alley Show.

We've got people on the phones that want to get inside of Johnny's brain for a little bit, hang out there, hopefully answer a question correctly and get themselves some Klein Alley Show merch. Allie's looking at some of the many, many submissions, by the way, that have been given to us already this week during Klein Alley Show. Park Week, The Return, as we solve the terrible parking situations all over Southern California. The themes this week, as we've said this year, are that it is multiple, it's cars taking up four spots, not two spots, which has always been the issue in the past. Looking at some of these, these aren't even just bad parking jobs.

These are arrestable offenses. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's gotten, it is way past just being over the line. Execution. Seriously. So aggressive, to say the least. Keep sending them to us and keep tagging us using hashtag Park Week and at Klein Alley Show. Johnny, how are you feeling?

Smart? Feeling good, yeah. Yeah, all right. Well, we've got a question here. Earlier, you thought Allie was eating a... You asked Allie if she was eating a mango or... A peach. A peach.

It was orange, and it was circular. I think she was eating an apple or something, but it was... She was eating a nectarine. A nectarine. Johnny got very confused by it. Fruit has always been troubling for you, which is weird because you are the gayest on the show. It's fine by me. Gays rock.

Let's get into a quick round of Johnny Doesn't Know. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know I didn't know Vegas was like in Vada for like a while Johnny doesn't know Johnny doesn't know Gelato sounds like Jell-O

Johnny doesn't know It like goes Wiggles Alright One fruit question for Johnny Say hi to Dylan at Simi Valley Good morning, Dylan Welcome to K-Rock, hi

Hey, Dylan Are you there? Hello Yeah, I'm here Alright, good, beautiful Once again, one question for Johnny You don't need to know the answer You just need to know if Johnny will know the answer

uh johnny you know obviously i'm not telling you anything you don't know but you know that grapes become what in the world of fruit this is not your question this is just to set up the question what do they become yeah uh like after you eat them yes like digestion is that what you mean i didn't know i could mean anything by what i asked sure let's go with that well you eat the grape it goes through your body and then it comes out as a stool sample in like five or seven hours There's always a sample? It's for science. I'm eating these only for medical reasons.

I'm in the lab. Johnny, let's start this again. If you don't eat the grape, what does it become? Shriveled up and it becomes a raisin. There we go. Grapes become raisins. We got there. That was the setup to the question.

Oh, okay. I get you now. Okay. Just to get you in the world. I thought you meant wine. The question for Johnny is, what do plums become? Will Johnny know this? Dylan.

What do plums become? Um, I'm going to go no. Johnny, he says you will not know. This sounds like a little nursery rhyme kind of. Almost like it's a song lyric. What do plums become when I'm done eating this plum? I don't know. That sounds like you're making me.

Where did you go to school, my sir? You got to get better nursery rhymes here. All right, kids, get out of here. Go play. Get him on guitar. Little Miss Muffet ate a plum, and that's it. Hey, if Crystal Method's listening, you want to turn that into a banger, go ahead. We'll send you the stems.

Very nice. All right. Once again, Dylan says you will not know. We just learned that you were reminded that grapes either become stool samples or raisins. Or wine. Right. And plums become... None?

I don't know. What are you... I've never eaten a plum. I don't like plums. Plums become none? Yeah. What are you... I don't know what you mean.

What do plums become? Well, grape is to raisin as plum is to... Oh, you're just going to confuse yourself. Oh, sorry. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. Ouch. Dude.

All right. Well, Dylan, congratulations. You did not know. Oh, blackberries. Blackberries. Blackberries. You got it. You got it.

Wait. Dylan, hold on. Hold on one second. Congratulations. You got yourself some merch. Can I know? What's the answer? You want to make Ali Fadigan a hat, a Sweet Divots hat, or a 323 Tip Bowley hat?

What was the second one? I forget. They're getting them off a hat. You don't ask any follow-up questions here. We'll send that man a hat. Damn plum hat. Johnny, come on. Johnny.

I don't know plums. I don't eat plums. When they shrivel. Plum dumb. When they shrivel? Apricots. Oh, man. Whoa, wait.

That was two different responses for me. She was like, ooh. Well, it's just in the more correct realm. You're getting closer, but you're still wrong. What color has the plum become? It's the same color, dude. Okay, I've never seen a plum. You've never seen a plum in your life?

I can't play this next song until you give us an answer. I mean, you must have known. Is it purple? Yeah. It's purple. Okay, yeah, it's purple. Like an eggplant, kind of. You think it gets bigger?

I don't know, man. Now you guys are messing with me. I think it's a plum. I don't know. It's like the size of my fist, probably, right? Yeah. See if you can get that in your mouth. Go ahead.

KROQ Planoly Show is it for us, but don't worry, Sluggo will be in here in a moment. When he enters the KROQ studios, as he brings with him more tickets for you to KROQ's Summer Ticket Blowout. What tickets are next, Vanessa? Let's go ahead and tease the fine people that are listening right now as to what they'll win at 11 a.m. I don't know.

The next pair of tickets is Death Cut for Cuties. Nice. You're ready. Lots of bands, lots of shows, lots of tickets. It's a Summer Ticket Blowout. Don't let that heat wave get you down. We will get you up again with tickets to all sorts of things. So if you want to win, keep listening every hour,

including in about 15 minutes with the great Sluggo in here on KROQ. All right, takeaways from today's show. We'll start on the text line and then get over to the phones and then in-house and then get the hell out of here. What do we got? All right, fine. 925, my takeaway is Captain Crunch surfed three tours in Nam and is a real person.

Yeah, it's an educational show. I didn't know that. 208, my takeaway is Gavin Newsom will get you wet. That's his campaign slogan. That would be incredible. You should consider that. 310, my takeaway is Klein is triggered by shark tanks. 562, boobs and junk are front pockets.

818, I wore pants today and it's hot. Here's to another 45. Yikes. 323, my takeaway is to get your uniform in the WNBA. You have to do a lot of half-court shots. Yeah, you gotta win them. 818, Jake got raw kiss applause last night. 213, food tastes better in a bucket.

And 818, my takeaway is Cindy likes doggies. She sure does. Hey, Omar, I know you're the fan of the chain restaurants. Someone said on the text line, a couple people said that there's a whole bucket of bones thing you can get at Friday's. Oh, yeah, what was that? A bunch of different things served in a bucket. Bucket of bones. You know what?

Friday's is one of those chain restaurants that I hate with a passion. Oh. They suck. Oh, no. What happened? They did you dirty? Something happened? You know what?

Back when I was just out of high school, probably a freshman in college. No one holds a grudge more than Omar. It was the only place I could afford. It was just crappy service, crappy food. I mean, it's been 20 years. Give him another shot, dude. Jesus Christ. You know what?

They've all since Goodwittons, and they've all closed down around my location. Wow. Bucket of bones. Sounds like that's the future. I'm sorry I asked. Jesus. What's your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? Fried condom in the chicken.

Chicken strips. Chicken strips. Sounds delicious. That woman's great, by the way. She should be a regular on the show. We say, Vanessa, takeaway? Actually, factually. Is that it?

Is that triggering? That was my takeaway. Wow. Take a deep breath, Jake. Calm yourself down. What's your takeaway from today's show? I want to be in your skin. Oh, yeah.

That was crazy. Takeaway from today's show. Allie. My takeaway is ho-hum said Dum-Dum as he spoke of the plum. That's a good nursery rhyme right there. By the way, prune, Johnny. I know no one's told you what the answer is, but it's prune. Congratulations. Now you know something.

Oh, prune juice! That's what that is. Which would make a good stool sample, ironically. That is, yeah. You were right, actually. It all gets there eventually. Actually, factually. You have a take. That's good. It all comes full circle. Slow burn. You have a takeaway, Omar? Happy birthday, Cindy. Oh, yeah. Screwdriver.

That's right. Yeah, raise a buzzball up for Secondhand Cindy today. And tonight, if you want to go support Jake, crickets are not invited, but every human is. He's going to be at the lab, improv lab, which is right there in West Hollywood, I think on Melrose, so you can stop by and support Jake. And you can say hi to Secondhand Cindy

and Blind Charlie, who will be there. Yeah, they will be there as well. And, all right, that's it for us. Have a great day. Do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. Goodbye. Climbing Alley, it's just okay.

Do-do-do. Climbing Alley, it's just okay. Wow. No need to clap, but I will for us. This episode of Klein Alley Show has officially come to an end. And now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends. If you've ever wanted to see what we look like, I question your decisions,

but we are available for your viewing pleasure at KROQ's YouTube. And we even hired a guy to run the YouTube live stream. So for the sake of Justin's job, you should watch it. Yeah, if Justin gets fired, and by the way, he's a ginger, so I think it's racist if you fire him. Regardless, check out our show. It's on YouTube. Every single morning you can watch us live.

Of course, we love it when you listen on the radio, like the good Lord intended. But also watch the YouTube after the fact. You can also follow along on the socials, Klein Alley Show. There's so many ways for you to get involved and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show. If you've ever wanted to see what Jake's nerd hole looks like or the way Johnny thinks during Johnny Doesn't Know

or simply the way that Klein looks disgusted when I tell him a sexy story about myself. It's all available on the live stream. See, you can see what that looks like. All right, you can stop. Don't die. Open them two eyes.