Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Today We Got Diarrhea & Cage The Elephant (FULL SHOW 7/22)

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Would you risk explosive diarrhea for great radio? We did. After hearing about the Taylor Farms lettuce recall linked to cyclospora, we bought a bunch of the affected salad kits, slapped them on the Roulette Wheel, and each ate a bag to see who gets explosive diarrhea. The only problem: How will we know Jake got it when he already gets diarrhea every day? Brad and Matt Schultz of Cage the Elephant stopped by the KROQ studio to talk about their new song Beaches in Tennessee, the wild story of growing up in a strict religious household where their dad literally destroyed their Nirvana and Green Day CDs with pliers, Matt's new role as a dad, their upcoming album, and what it was like touring with Oasis. Ally's wife attempted to cook dinner for the family, and the audio is painfully relatable for anyone who's ever stared at a recipe wondering what "use a large bowl" actually means. Plus we discussed the one thing you can do to get upgraded on an airplane in Clickbait & much much more!

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Oh, sweet damn mistake. Did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. show started we are live in los angeles three two one and here we go low 6.7 kro qfm and hd pasadena los angeles orange county the sonic pulse of los angeles this is the world famous k-rock oh yeah good morning welcome to your k-rock or your fine alley show lots to get into this morning lots to give you as well if you want to interact with the show remember these numbers you'll need them 800-520-1067 start paying attention to everything that happens immediately starting at this exact moment for the remainder of the show could score

you some access to the uh ocean way festival happening in santa monica the killers and that's enough right there but of course sublime will also be there and jack white and many others and all you got to do is answer some questions at the end of the show today about things that happen on the show yesterday. Our contestant won a perfect three for three right out of the gate. Yeah, she had tons of notes. She took notes, she got through, she knew the answers and now she's going to the festival. So it

is very winnable and today is your day to become a winner. So just start listening to everything that happens on the show today and I'll tease you right now, let you know some of the stuff you can look forward to. We have one of the members of Caves the Elephant stopping by to hang out with us during the show today. Play some new music as well.

Ah man, the new music. I don't know about it. I think they've lost a step. Let me hear it. I think you have it on your end. Oh, you're being serious. Oh, yeah. Oh, I like their new song. I thought Omar was going to play it. Here it is, here it is, I thought Omar was going to play it.

I'm on my hands and knees, who's going to come for me? Tell all the magazines, I'm a celebrity. Somebody take me home, they're trying to bury me. I'm going back to those Beaches in Tennessee That wasn't remastered yet though That was before it was staged They're not like they used to

But I think that actually is Brad Schultz Performing with one of his children I just thought Matt was like totally giving up After having a baby It's very possible We will get into some Cage In the studio a little bit later today And something that I don't think any of us are looking forward to

But it doesn't mean we're not going to do it For the first time ever we'll be spinning this wheel It is called Roulette-a, Sally. Roulette-a? It is Roulette-a. It is a roulette wheel with different types of Taylor Farms bagged lettuce. And we will be forced to eat the lettuce that is causing people to spend days and weeks in the hospital. I really didn't think this story was going to take off the way it did.

But there's like thousands of cases now. Yeah. And it doesn't seem to be going away. And there's a lot of bling-bling place. And I feel bad for Taco Bell a little bit. We went all over the place to find the proper lettuce, the recalled lettuce, which we will be eating during the show today. And here's what could happen to us. Jessica Mallard is still recovering from a three-week bout with cyclosporiasis.

I'm really, really weak. I lay down a lot. This morning, I struggled getting up. Looks like me every morning. I get that. So we all have cyclosporiasis. She believes she was infected after eating bagged salad from Taylor Farms, landing her in the hospital for 10 days. So that's what we got ourselves.

We got a bunch of these different bagged salads. Lawsuit-wise? Yeah, lawsuit-wise. I don't know if they're going to, I mean, eventually they'll settle with some of these people, but I would imagine if enough people get involved in this, you know, it'll be a check for a couple of bucks for everyone. I don't think they're on the hook. I'll eat all the lettuce.

Well, great. $10,000 a day. We're getting a lot of it, so today get ready for some roux lettuce, baby. Roux lettuce. You know what? I wasn't going to participate because I'm pregnant, but because of the money, I think I'm in. All right. Let's go.

You know how much more money I could get? Yeah. That's true. You're going to need it, too, because in a moment, Allie's going to put her money up for grabs, and you could take it from her, and all you've got to do is get on the phone, 800-520-1067. We will do some Allie Knows the News as we kick things off. First, some Smashing Pumpkins on your KROQ.

Call now, play the game, win some of Allie's money, and if you do not take Allie's $100 because you know more about the news than she does, we will give you a consolation prize, and that could be some very limited-edition Klein Allie Show merch, a hat, a shirt that proves to the world you've never been intimate with Jake. The choice is yours. Once again, the same guy who thinks, Ali, that this entire game is rigged, that it is unwinnable, has given us more reasons why he believes that Ali Knows the News is a complete scam. And we are trying to pull one over on the listeners.

I heard the guy's complaint today, but he forgot to mention some major new details. For one, when Ali steps outside to get sequestered, she goes to the kitchen or the chicken coop where the show is clearly on. how else do people react in the kitchen and johnny and vanessa respond to things said okay i want to confirm confirm that or deny that in the kitchen which is where i am yes is separate from the chicken coop and yes in the chicken coop they can hear the show but they close the door and in the kitchen they change the station so that i cannot hear the show okay so there's your uh that that point has been addressed before many times it's like the news station in the kitchen right it's a terrible it's alice to learn things i mean technically you could

argue it's cheating because she's learning hearing about the news but usually it's a long commercial break anyway it's usually a commercial break at that time so uh she's once again not listening to this show as it's happening so sorry sir when klein says let's let ali back in she opens the door almost immediately that is very false the amount of times i have to say it over and over again while she's sitting there having some conversation in the kitchen usually someone else like Vanessa will have headphones on or something listening to the show. If it's on she'll have to yell to Allie, get in there, get in

there. But also I will sometimes signal to her with my hands, which you don't hear buddy, but I'll say get in here. Come in here. And I can kind of time, like now that I'm out there every day I can kind of time out how long I think it lasts. She's come in here early before. So I'm kind of standing near the door even though I can't hear and then I'll

either get a yell from Vanessa or I'll get a nod from a client. We should just give her the shot call or give her a quick shot. Oh, it's a great idea. This is working fine Omar's right We can improve upon this We can hit the button in a second We're ready for you

Thank you sir for calling No buffer at all Sir, tell Chell Stein that she hears what's going on She almost always answers exactly what the contestant answers When she doesn't know the answer Can't be more obvious You guys need to do more better Why would I purposely answer the same wrong answer?

Well, once again, this guy's on to us And if you'd like Allie's money in the unwinnable game known as Allie Knows the News, call now, 800-520-1067. A hundred bucks up for grabs. It is on the level. We are not cheating. We've paid out. Allie's paid out by herself thousands of dollars. And today we'll throw in some limited edition merch as well.

If we are cheating. If it doesn't go your way, you always want to say it's cheating. But if we are, we're terrible at it because you still pay a lot of money out. So we'll be right back with that after this on KC. Easy money. You can take some of Allie's cash if you want in. And all you got to do is be on the phone right now, answer some questions about stuff happening in the news. People have oftentimes accused us of rigging this game so that Allie doesn't have to pay the people.

But nothing makes us happier than when Allie loses because she gets all salty and it puts her in a foul mood for the whole day. And then her wife yells at her when she gets home and it's fun for everyone. That sounds all terrible and I don't know why you enjoy that. Especially because you're pregnant. You guys are stupid assholes. You are. That was a day that Allie lost money and about three hours later she called us all a bunch of stupid assholes. Because you were.

Well. And you still are. Thank you. Take that as a badge of honor. I'll wear that. Hey, Reba. Burbank. Good morning. Hello. Good morning, Klein. Sweet divots to you. You have an opportunity now to ruin Allie's day, and we are rooting for you. Of course, if you take her money, you answer more questions than she does correctly about the news, you're in. If you lose, though, we will still hook you up with some limited edition Klein Allie Show merch.

If you've never been intimate with Jake, we can send you a shirt to prove it. Or if you want one of those Make Allie Fat Again hats, those could be yours as well. The choice is yours. She's leaving the KROQ Studios now, so she can go and sequester herself. And this is what I like to call my nice break in the show, where Allie gets out of here and she's gone. I heard that. You can't say that. I think Allie just swore at me.

She did? Yeah, I think so. Oh, I didn't hear that. That's good. You couldn't hear it over the beeping as she was moving. Okay. Let's say, all right, Reba, here we go. Five questions are on the board, and your round officially begins right now.

There's a tropical storm that's going by what name right now, currently churning in the Gulf? Tropical storm what? Tropical storm, let's go Bertha. Bertha. We're going to go question number two. 74 years later, what was just found in the Atlantic Ocean? Let's say a shipwreck.

Shipwreck. Go to question number three. 16 pounds of what was just seized at the L.A. port of entry? Monitor lizard. Monitor lizard. We go to question number four. Mini moon pies, maybe not the most popular dessert, but they have just released a limited edition flavor. What flavor is it? Let's see. Three, two, one.

Peach cobbler. Oh, man. The red flag has gone up here. You're under watch and scrutiny for potential cheating, so do not take a long time answering this final question. We go to question number five. The American Heart Association has just said that drinking up to how many cups of coffee a day is still safe for most humans, adult humans? Need an answer. Three, two, one.

I think it was like ten, which is a lot. Ten cups of coffee. All right. Let's go ahead. Ask her if she's cheating. Are you cheating? No. I thought it was a happy story.

Oh, man. She said she heard one of the stories yesterday, and one of them she did answer pretty quickly. Allie, don't say anything else, Allie. All I will say is that you're battling Reba. Reba claims she's not cheating. We go to question number one. Okay. Tropical storm by what name is currently churning in the Gulf?

Best name for a tropical storm, Bertha. Okay, she got that as well. It is a great name. Had this storm had any other name? Why don't they all have these names? I don't think people would be talking about it. But Big Bertha is a tropical storm for now, but who knows what happens. We'll keep an eye on Bertha, said by no one ever.

We got a question number. You do have to keep an eye on her. It's hard not to. We got a question number two. She's on the board, one, one, after one. We got a question two. 74 years later, what was just found at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean? oh okay i i briefly saw this but i'm not is it an airplane is it like a she said shipwreck but

the correct answer is i think it's an airplane that was missing pan am airplane that went into the ocean off of i think it was puerto rico 74 years ago there were some survivors from that flight uh but they had just actually found the place still in there it's amazing they found the They waterlogged or what? Found the plane. A little bloated. A little puffed. We go to question number three.

Allie's up one now as we go to question three. 16 pounds of what was just seized at the L.A. port of entry? 16 pounds of fentanyl? Fentanyl. I'll tell you who got it right. Bertha. Excuse me. Reba.

Bertha always gets it right. Reba who said monitor lizard. Monitor lizard parts from Thailand. 16 pounds of these parts were seized, and that's a big deal, supposedly. A monitor lizard? Is that a type of lizard? I could not speak to it because I have no idea. Okay.

But I do know that it was seized, and it was probably all decoration for Jake's nerd hole. We go to question number four, and it's tied up again. Oof. Reba versus Allie. Oof. Question four. Mini moon pies. Not necessarily the world's most popular dessert, but they have a limited edition flavor that is available now for a short time.

What flavor is it? God, I guess I'll just go with pickle because everyone's been doing pickle. You dumb idiot. I don't think I've ever had a moon pie. I'll tell you what Reba said. She said peach cobbler. And I'll also tell you what is the right answer. Peach cobbler.

What? Reba knew the moon pie question? That doesn't seem surprising. I guess that kind of makes sense. Story checks. And we go to this final question. Allie down one. She needs this.

Yikes. According to the American Heart Association, this just came out yesterday. Adults can drink up to how many cups of coffee a day safely? They say this is the amount. If you have this many cups of coffee a day, you're still fine as an adult. They gave a number. Three? Okay.

She guessed ten. Ten's a lot. The American Heart Association said the average adult can drink up to five cups of coffee a day. So what are we doing? Whoever's closest? I hate to say it, but technically Reba wins. What? Why?

Are we just doing you're wrong? Is that what you're choosing for this last question? Because you're wrong. Hey, Reba. You swear you didn't cheat? I swear. I swear. are we just going with this then i'm going with it i'm giving this woman a hundred dollars of my

money every time she said she didn't cheat i believe her less and less you asked her multiple times yeah the cobbler question took her a little bit of time to answer but she claims you hey where were you yesterday when you claim you heard about the cobbler news oh i claimed i heard about the coffee news. I swear I heard something that said 10 cups of coffee. But I didn't know the moon pie answer, but I saw another fast food that was like a peach flavor.

I think it was like Chick-fil-A or somebody else had some new shake thing that's peach. But I just guessed that. You just guessed peach cobbler? Who just guesses peach cobbler? Listen, hey, she wins your money, Ali. I don't know what to say. It is what

it is, and congratulations. And, Allie, what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? My name is Allie, and Reba sort of knows the news, even though she probably cheated. Hey, Reba, congratulations. A hundred bucks is yours. Hold on one second so Allie can pay you that money and get ready for salty Allie taking over the show next. K-Rock, we are a client of Allie's show. Good news, Allie.

All of the lettuce is being purchased right now for Roulette-us. Great. Johnny says that they were in the process of marking them all down at the store. Cool. So that means that the lettuce that no one wants from Taylor Farms because it's making people super sick. I don't think anyone is eating lettuce, period, right now. They said that they were just re-stamping it with the discounted. So I don't know what we got these for, but we will be eating it a little bit later as we spin the wheel of Roo Lettuce.

It is the world's greatest gamble. I think when you're always consuming lettuce and salad products, it's important to take the ones that are bagged and discounted. Those are definitely the ones that will be the most healthy. A rumor report claims that today may be the day LeBron James announces which team he'll be playing for next year that will not be the Los Angeles Lakers. Every other team, supposedly, he could be playing for. And so at any given moment, the show could be interrupted with a big announcement when LeBron James makes his announcement. Now, I know you don't probably care, and I think a lot of people hate the fact that it's all about LeBron, LeBron, LeBron. And the reality is, since he's not going to be playing in L.A., there's a chance he ends up a Clipper, but I highly doubt it.

I still think there's a chance he announces he's back with the Lakers again. But people think I'm crazy. Well, you have a substantial bet going on with Jake over that, don't you? What was the bet? I think it was like a $2,000. No way. That sounds about right. It was $2,000.

What are you talking about? I think it was a to-be-determined later. And it was never determined later. I think it was like 50 bucks for like three pizzas. Yeah, I think it was a few pizzas. The announcement is coming through right now. i just wanted to let you all know that i decided i will be moving to northern california to become a chef so that i have a chance at dating vanessa oh vanessa congratulations lebron he has a wife

didn't the last chef you were with have someone too but that's ain't no homewrecker i thought the last chef you were sleeping with had a side p i had like a girlfriend or something Without me knowing Oh I love this, let's share more Who's a fan? Don't blame me, blame LeBron He said it

If you don't want to go wait at the movies And pay all that money to see the film That everyone's talking about The Odyssey, don't worry about it Because we have someone recreating The biggest scenes from the movie She's our resident movie buff And her name is Moise Joyce

And that will be next on KROQ Are you one of the many people that has spent millions and millions of dollars to watch a movie that people are calling a cinematic masterpiece? Of course, talking about The Odyssey, which is in theaters now. And theaters are saying that they're making so much money that they're opening up screenings at 6 a.m. And those screenings are selling out. And people are supposedly reselling tickets to this movie. They're buying them and scalping tickets to this movie for like over $100. And people are getting scammed, too, and buying fake tickets to this movie.

Which I didn't even think you could get scammed Buying a regular ass movie ticket anymore We're going to save you all the trouble And we're going to save you three hours plus of your life right now By having our very own resident movie buff Moist Joyce Who spends a lot of time in movie theaters Usually just for the air conditioning

She's going to recreate some of the iconic scenes From the movie And I believe, and I don't want to put words in Christopher Nolan's mouth But I believe that this is how he would want you To experience this masterpiece Well he did also say that Though it is a historical story, he modernized it for the 2026 audience. Right, so we are going to modernize it again right now.

With Moist Joyce. Here we go, this is Moist Joyce giving you a scene from The Odyssey. Oh, I wish I could pull your skin over your head and turn you into a pig. That was the best part. So that was one scene, but if you're not feeling satisfied, like maybe you didn't feel like you still saw it because you want to be a part of the conversation. Here's another scene from The Odyssey

as performed by Moise Joyce. Oh, there's the part where the Cyclops stomps and stomps and stomps on the soldiers while they're wearing their armor. He even puts them in their mouth and then spits the armor out after he eats the soldiers. All right, reenact it.

This was sound effects. That's Cyclops. The ball that takes the pig turns him into pigs. It's squeal, squeal, squeal. And then he sucks them in his mouth. Quite delicious, the soldier is, except for the armor. There you have it. It's like you've been to the film and we've saved you the money and the time.

That is Moist Choice recreating. I don't know about you, but I really appreciated that. I feel like I did get a glimpse into the movie now. I know some people will accuse us of spoiling it, But I assume that this is going to be one of those just added benefits that if you still plan on seeing it, that just made it better because you'll be like, oh, that's what she was doing. Well, and also, I think one of the facts about the movie is that he almost like he just barely used CGI. Everything else is real. And you can tell.

Yeah, that's as authentic as it gets right there. So there you have it. The best parts of the Odyssey. And we just saved you a ton of money and a ton of time. We'll take a quick break. We're back with actual news. Then we get into a brand-new hour of the show as we send you to Universal Studios Hollywood

to ride the brand-new Fast and Furious roller coaster there and much more after this. I'm K-Rock. K-Rock, we are a Klein Alley show. Get into some ADD news. Then a brand-new hour of the show will begin. That's the hour we get you into Universal Studios Hollywood. Brand-new ride.

You're one of the first people on the planet to ride the new Fast and Furious roller coaster. And then we get you into that festival. That's right. Listen to everything that happens on the show today. Could all be answers to questions in the Klein Alley Shoshin Way quiz at the end of the show. Chance for you to win your way into the Ocean Way Festival in Santa Monica.

If you're just joining us, new to the show, or maybe just coming back after taking some time off this summer, you may not be aware of the fact that Alley is pregnant. She's been impregnated, and it was a group effort. A lot of us put in time and effort, injected her, gave her steaks, a bunch of different things, and she got the progesterone and the IVF, and it was a success story and a lot of emotional ups and downs. But the best part about all of this, I think, Allie, is that now we get to talk to your baby who's growing inside of you.

Oh, my God. And if you could hold the microphone. We don't even have time for this, but go ahead. Hold the mic down there. Could you put the mic there? If not, Omar can just boost the levels. Yeah, let me go ahead. Okay, it's down there.

Now what? Okay, good job. Thanks. Thanks for following orders. Thank you. Jeez. Is this Allie's unborn baby in there? I hope my mommy is about to do the music in so I can take a nap.

Okay. What a bore fest. Oh, you're in luck, kid, because here it comes. Intelligent kid. He knows exactly. Is this just everything you've ever wanted to say about me, and you're just putting it in lines for my baby to say? I'm not saying this.

Why are you criticizing your baby? He can speak at this young. It's great. Genius baby. All right. You know what? This is not my baby. This is Klein writing stupid lines and then sending them to Omar, and then Omar pitching

it up and putting it into the system. You're just owning your own child? Hold the mic down there. Let's hear your baby. We don't have time for this. Oh, baby's sleeping already. It must be news time. Oh, come on, baby.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. We're only going to go to two stories so that you don't have time to fall asleep. How's that? I can't. When things are not going well for your company, it's time for a rebrand. Our company has done it more than once. So have many other companies.

And the next one to do this is Playboy. They're ready to start reissuing real magazines again, which is confusing because I kind of thought they were already doing this, but they promised that the rebrand is going to be tasteful and is going to reimagine the bunny without deviating too much from what everyone knows and loves about Playboy, which is nudity. It will be a quarterly release,

but the first issue has already sold out because the first issue... So they made three copies. Well, it's Carol G, the Colombian singer, is on the cover, which I was like, cool, I'd like a copy of that. So she's showing them? Well, I don't think she's showing her full...

You know what? Let me actually see... Sometimes the cover model isn't in the magazine. You know... Oh, what? False advertisement. I have fallen for this a few different times. And, of course, other people have as well.

And even when I worked there, I would see the cover of Playboy and I would get all excited. But, whoa, she could be naked. I'd go through those pages 50 times and say, there's not one picture of this person in here. So, the picture of her on the cover of Playboy is just the top half of her. You can't see any nudity. She doesn't have a shirt on or a bra on, but she's just kind of laying on the floor. And as soon as it gets to her nipples, it's cut off. That's what they call tasteful.

Yeah. And then it says Carol G. Women on top, which is hot. But a lot of people wanted to buy this, obviously. And then the second issue is Carol at Delevingne. And she is like she's kind of Donald Duck in it. Like she has a top on, but no bottom. And then she's covering her vag with her hand, which is that's more risque. And she's smoking a cigarette.

But it's fine. You have a Playboy collection, don't you? Oh, yeah. A big one. I mean, I got a bunch of piles and piles. I think they're in the office here. I'm not allowed to keep them in my house anymore. Oh, you're not?

Because they're kids or what? Stupid daughters. They got to be worth something. I don't think so. No? I think everyone thinks they're worth stuff and they're not. Do you think that when you get old and die and your kids, your beautiful daughters start going through your things and they realize what a pervert you are?

Oh, that's why I'm not keeping anything in my house until I'm going to go somewhere else. Well, don't worry. We'll make sure this gets sent home. No, do not send it home. Along with your ashes. Burn it. Burn it all. Cremate everything I've ever owned with me at the same time, okay?

All the evidence. Having a kid is more expensive than ever before, and it starts with just the bottles and the diapers, graduates to soccer practice, and so on and so forth. But people are spending more money than ever on their kids. In fact, rich people are now paying teams of people to help raise their kids, and they're spending $250K a year on this. It's not your old school babysitting gig. some ultra rich parents are embracing a new way to raise kids hire an entire team to do it for

them and the price tag is shocking parents are shelling out up to 250 000 on these so-called parenting teams including up to 4 500 for potty training consultants 80 to 450 for bike riding lessons plus 125 an hour for someone to pack their kids suitcases for summer camp or a full-time travel nanny which can cost 120 to 170 thousand dollars a year you know the only thing that truly seems worth it to me it would be the travel nanny if i could afford that the fact that you can go on vacation and just have a nanny watch your kids while you go enjoy your vacation is like incredible or just have the nanny stay with the kid at home and then you go on the vacation without the kid at all yeah but then you can like feel i think parents feel guilty even though they

should already feel guilty for hiring an entire team you could also just take a vacation and Leave the kid with your grandma, with your mom. Yeah, or just put the TV on. Oh, or that. Yeah, here's Babysitter Elmo's going to watch you for the weekend. I'll see you. That's cheap. You just got to pay 20 bucks a month for Disney+.

Hey, what did they say that the bike rider is getting paid? The bike lesson guy? The bike rider didn't seem to get paid much, right, compared to everybody else. I'm good at that. I can teach any kid to ride a bike. Okay, well, here, let's see. Team to do it for them. And the price tag is shocking.

Parents are shelling out. Hold on, it was like... Hold on, what are they getting? $4,500 for potty training consultants, $80 to $450 for bike riding lessons. $450? Make it easy, $450? The kid doesn't fall down? Oh, man.

She said $80 to $450. That's quite a range. I don't want to be on the low end of that. Not worth it. Someone pays you $80 to teach their kid to ride a bike. But isn't that one of, as parents, Klein, you know this, isn't that one of the biggest moments of the kid's life? It is.

So this kid has no relationship with their actual parents. It's a team of people. Part of parenting is bonding with your kid. Right. Did I have to hire someone to build the bike? Sure. But then I taught them how to ride it. I mean, if you would have built it, it would have fallen apart.

That would have been a disaster. Allie, what have you found has been the most unexpected expense of having a child? Like something you're like, I knew that so-and-so would cost money or this would cost money or buying an extra plane. But you're like, this part, I didn't factor in just how expensive it is. Is it the babysitters every time you want to do anything? I'll tell you, for me, I completely underestimated how much money I would be spending on snacks. It's like a nonstop, bottomless pit of just buying snacks. You know, I think it's the little things.

It's like every time I go to the grocery store and I bring him, there's a treat. Every time we go to Target, we can't leave without something. I mean, we can. It's my weakness. But it's like the little things of like constantly, hey, let's get a new puzzle. Hey, let's get a new micromachine. Hey, let's get a new this. And it's just like over time.

Yeah, but he's a very well-behaved kid. And so it's like, you know, he's my little buddy. So he gets a little $1.50 Hot Wheels every now and again. But it adds up. What has been the most unexpected expense of having a child? Oh, man. Activities? I feel like those got real pricey.

You know what? The other one is food waste. That was the one that I was really like, I'm going to make you this quesadilla. You're going to have one bite of it and throw it in the trash. Yep. And I used to save it at first. I was like, I'm going to save everything. And then I just had little pieces of like quesadilla and dino nuggets.

And now I'm like, I just. You know, Ali, it's funny you say that because we just went on vacation. and I made it a point for we would only order two entrees because I know my kids don't eat that much. Two for the family. Two for the family. Yep, that's it. And my wife's not a big eater, too.

And then I was satisfied completely just with two entrees for a family of four. But do you feel like you need to change your order to get something that your kids would also eat? I did. I did, but not very much. For the most part, my kids are open to anything. They just eat very small amounts. See, here's what Fat Alley's doing.

I order something for myself, and then I order something for him that I know I will like. Oh, smart. So I'll eat my food, and then I know when he doesn't finish his, I'll eat his basket of fries. This is why we love the return of Fat Alley, baby. Yeah! If you want a Make Alley Fat Again hat, why don't you call us right now? 20th Caller. You get a limited edition Klein Alley show.

Make Alley Fat Again Motha Hat to show your friends and family and relatives that you are also on board with Alley getting all fat again. And call now for that. We'll get into a brand new hour of the show. This is the world famous KROQ. Good morning. Brand new hour of the show starts now for you and yours on KROQ. We are a Klein Alley show.

Pleasure to meet you. Thanks for coming back for more. Perhaps you're just forced to listen to us in the back of a ride share. Regardless, thanks for being here. My name is Klein. There's Alley. Morning. That is DJ Omar Khan over there.

Hello. Jake Znerd. What's up? You know, Jake was telling me just a moment ago, Alley, that he has another, a second Bumble date set for later today, and this is all as a result of you and Vanessa basically completely revamping his dating profile?

And who is this young lady? That's a different lady. A different lady. Jake hasn't had two dates with two different women in ever, in ever. Right, and is this someone you think you like? Is this someone you've been talking with back and forth? You know what, yeah, because she lives in Burbank.

And she's hot, too. Like, Jake was showing me a photo of her yesterday. I was like, damn, Jake. Atta boy. What kind of... Caucasian. Caucasian. No, that's a different lady.

That lady lives up in the Thousand Oaks. Oh, you got another one? What is this one? This one is like an Asian lady. Oh, your favorite. An Asian lady who lives in Burbank? Yeah. A Burbassian?

I guess. Oh, Jake. That's... That'd be mildly offensive. I don't think so at all for you. No, no, no. It's horribly offensive. That's your sweet spot, Jake.

But you should reply saying that. Those are all of your favorite things in one package. I'll ask her if she goes by Burbeige and hang on. Is this our license plate? That's a great plate. So what are you... Hold on a minute. Are you...

You're going to take this woman, are you going to take her to the same bar that you took the last woman to? She's open to it, but I think I'm going to try something place different. No, you're not. Who are you kidding? There's another bar like right up the street.

It's going to be so hard for you to just take a step. Just take a step in. It's okay. I will say that there are a lot of people that are, believe it or not, as sad as this sounds, that are saying that Jake has given them hope. Hey, Jake, you know, I have to give it to you. You give me hope. I haven't been in the dating world in a long time. But after listening to your date and knowing you live in a shack, eat them beans, you show up with an itchy, probably stinky dog stuck around your chest, sweating, yelling at Feed the Girl.

She asks if you've had your old feeder, which is like the easiest thing to do. Then you leave. And, oh, forgot the dessert. Go back in, eat dessert. And you still end up getting intimate with the girl at the end. I mean, props to you, man. A lot of people say you're giving them hope. So this is why we're doing this very publicly,

so you can all live vicariously through Jake or realize that it's not as hard as you're making it seem. And do we feel happy for Jake or sad for women in general? Sad for women. that that's how bad it's gotten. Let's say hi to Josh in Fillmore. Josh, you are the 20th caller, so congratulations.

Limited edition Klein Alley Show merch is coming your way. Hold on, alright? Thank you so much. Thank you. Wear it proudly and post it and all that good stuff. And we give you this from Gorillas. Look at me. Okay, raw. It's all clickbait these days on the internet

as we solve the internet's biggest riddles. We give you one quick one right now that will help you always get upgraded moving forward if you ever travel again and you want to pay for coach but sit first class i hope you're listening to this exciting edition of clickbait now this is the ultimate clickbait because i think when you see this you can't help but say what is the answer and this is uh flight attendants reveal the best way to be upgraded to those much bigger much nicer seats dude that doesn't happen anymore that's what i thought but apparently

according to flight attendants. Why don't they like you stand up? Well, there's one or two things you must do if you want to even be considered, and you're probably not doing them. So what is it? And I'll tell you the actual answer. Well, I know just from the years that I flew standby

because my stepdad worked for the airlines, if we wanted to be upgraded, we had to dress nice. That's what I heard. So if you're wearing pajamas, if you're one of those girls wearing sweatpants and Crocs, you're not going to get invited to a higher class So you've got to wear a suit to the airplane. You've got to wear something nice.

I had to wear pantyhose. You had to, like, women couldn't have. Like Greg? Yeah. You had to wear either socks or, like, leggings or pantyhose, something that you couldn't have, like, bare legs. Put on your travel pantyhose, Allie. We're trying to get upgraded.

Yeah, I had to buy pantyhose at the Hudson News to get on first class one time. And then all the guys couldn't wear, no one could wear jeans. You had to wear a collared shirt. There was a whole dress code. Someone asked on the text, I'm with a pantyhose to wear over your face. Yeah, and my arms and legs. Just in general. And a bag.

Allie's a little bit like a giant burn victim. So that the rich people didn't have to look at me. I think she's robbing a liquor store. Or she's just sitting there. I couldn't even drink the free orange juice. All right, so Allie says you've got to dress nice. The only way you even have a chance of being upgraded is if you dress nice. Jake, speaking of dressing nice, what's your guess?

Yeah, I'm the king of that. I heard get there early, number one. And then, yeah, Hillbilly Steve told me one time is that he had to dress nice to get on and get upgraded. And it worked for him. I do think getting there early helps. Hillbilly Steve had to dress nice? That's what he said, yeah. What is Hillbilly nice?

I think it's just like his fancy overalls. Okay. What does getting there early do for you? Listen, we'll tell you in a second if he's right. But also, I think that now getting in there early isn't as effective because I feel like the gate agents don't get there until like five minutes before boarding. Yeah, totally. I've been here three hours early. I know.

You just got here. I'm like, hi, welcome to the party. What's up? Omar, what is the guess? Once again, if you want to be upgraded, the flight attendant says this is the one way, and it does still happen, and this is what you must do if you want to get that free upgrade. Hey, why don't you go ahead and move your ass from 36B all the way up here to 2A. Cool. About nine months ago, I got kind of inspired by Allie because she flew to Europe with all the points and reward things.

So I got a credit card and became this airline's member and all that. And I went up to the little desk and they were pretty impressed. I didn't get nothing out of it. But I think if you're like a member or rewards, you know how they have those rewards cards? Yeah, they're like, whoa, thanks for being a member. It didn't do squat for me, but I think sometimes maybe that has influences those people. Yeah, I do think that now the membership thing does get you farther. Well, according to this flight attendant, there's two things you must be doing if you want to even stand a chance of getting that free upgrade.

And it used to be, you know, you got to tell them a sob story or be like, oh, it's our honeymoon or something like that. They don't care about that anymore at all. Oh, no. If you are the first, the earlier you check in, the better. Wow. Because a lot of times they will prioritize if multiple people potentially could get bounced around or moved up. If you are the first to have checked in at that exact 24-hour window, then you somehow get priority for whatever reason. So check in as soon as possible.

And the other thing that stands, you know, that's a huge advantage is if you are traveling by yourself because it's much more likely they have an extra seat and they have one. Now, there's probably all that other stuff we said probably plays into it, too. I'm sure dressing nice and not having the nickname Hillbilly Steve all helps. That's not an idea. Steve, comma, Hillbilly. But I would imagine that it's the traveling solo, being early on the check-in. I know we've heard before that they say giving little gifts to the flight attendants or even smiling and waving when you get in. Like all this stuff, I still don't think it would matter.

And then you're a total a-hole after takeoff. Yeah, you're sitting in the back, wear this itchy suit the whole time. But now you check in on your phone like 24 hours before the flight. It's not like you check in, like is it in person checking in with your bags and stuff? They'll be the first person to check in online, but then they'll know. I mean, everyone's the first person to check in. Well, if you're the first, someone's the first. If you did it at 24 hours and someone else did it at 23 hours before, then you're the first.

So they say that that is valuable, too. And 714 on the text line says they have a really good friend who's a flight attendant, and she said that the key to getting the upgrade is giving either free or even free drinks, is getting like a little gift, like little chocolates to the flight attendant. We've heard that one before, where like you go to, you stop by the, you know, the See's Candy kiosk. You think they're actually accepting that from some weirdo passenger? Yeah, I mean, I don't think they're accepting a half-eaten open chocolate bar, but probably if it's just...

Hi, my name's Steve. Take these chocolates. Well, how can you not, man? These are my going out overalls, okay? So just give them a little chocolate something, and then maybe it pays out. Look, I don't care. It's not their seat. I guess so.

Try it all. Probably would work for me. Gotta take a break. We're back in a moment. When we return, the show continues, and it's going to get really explosive for one of us. It's not roulette. It's roulette-us. It's a wheel.

We'll be spinning it. And we have all of these different types of, many of these have been recalled, by the way. We have recalled lettuce from Taylor Farms in the KROQ studios now. And we will be eating handfuls of this lettuce to figure out if we're going to get the greatest summer cleanse ever after this. If you're not watching along on YouTube, you should be right now. It's KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. And I think in the history of dumb ideas we've had as a show, this would go near the top, Allie, I would agree, which is top five dumb idea or no, nowhere near. Are you talking about the general idea of roulette-us or the fact that we've duct-taped the bags of lettuce to the wheel?

Roulette-us is a great name, and everyone enjoys that. I like roulette-us. The fact that Johnny's system of taping the bags of lettuce to the wheel took him as long as it did, and I have a feeling when we spin the wheel for the first time, all of these bags of lettuce are going to fall off. We have an extra one here we couldn't even fit on the wheel. This is the Ultimate Caesar Salad Kit. Of course, these are all from Taylor Farms. And Taylor Farms is at the center of this giant lettuce recall that has been affecting people that are getting the Cyplo-Sori ass, or whatever that thing is called, where everyone's having explosive ass.

And we've turned it into a fun game now, where we will all be... It's not fun. Yeah, who is this fun for again? Well, it'll be a fun wait and see for us today, I guess. I don't need this. It's a real choose-your-own-adventure. I mean, Jake, you're going to probably be on the toilet most of the day today anyway. How will we know if she gets affected by this?

We won't know. There's got to be no difference, or it's just going to be super, super bad. On the roll lettuce wheel, we have a couple of different options here. The avocado ranch chop from Taylor Farms. The maple bourbon bacon. They have a maple bourbon bacon salad? Man, I wish I'd known about that. I do now.

Now you can take it home. Mediterranean crunch, Allie. Lame, lame. There's Jake's favorite, the Asian savory and green cabbage. It's an Asian chop salad. It's the Barbasian blend. You're going to have Barbasian salad? And then the Ultimate Caesar Salad Kit, which I have here, Allie, which we couldn't get.

Classic Caesar. Here's the good thing about the roulette wheel, is that when you spin it... Please, tell me the good thing about the roulette wheel. We're all waiting. Well, we have this intro. No more lettuce for now. Oh, wow. So we have that.

That's exciting. Pulled out all the stops on that one. Yep, we sure did. Okay. And if you spin it and it doesn't land on lettuce, you don't have to actually eat any of the Taylor Farms recalled lettuce. But if it does, then you immediately will rip that bag off the wheel. I think the bacon one is worth getting sick. I actually agree.

I mean, there's a little bacon, bourbon bacon crumbles in there. Oh, probably delicious. Now, we're just not paying attention to the names that are underneath the lettuce? No, those are insignificant. Okay. That was for fun or something. The person who spins the wheel, it's going to be their turn. Yep, you spin it, and if it lands on lettuce, that's your lettuce you're eating.

So I just want to see, Allie, if you give the spin, and if you're not watching. This doesn't count, but I want to see how it spins. All right, if you're feeling most of the lettuce could fall off right now. Whoa, that's pretty impressive looking. I taped it really good. Man, Allie, if... All right, that was my turn. Oh, hold on.

It was? No, wait a minute. What's happening? Allie's pubes. Allie's pubes. Get the pubes. That'll be a whole new case of cyclists. Oh, it's way worse.

And Johnny, I think you need to take this bag of the ultimate Caesar and place it right there. Actually, what's crazy, Klein, is the one you're holding, the lady at the store was marking that one down to reduced price because nobody was buying it. Well, I would imagine no one's buying any of this stuff now. I don't think anyone is even eating lettuce right now. I think people aren't even buying it at the store, period. Yeah, people are taking a... Did you not hear this guy, Allie? No more lettuce for now.

All right, that's what the guy's saying. People are completely avoiding lettuce at all costs. So throw that one on the wheel as well. That should weight the wheel properly. And then, Jake, we're going to let you spin first, dude. Great. You have the most unhealthy ass of all of us, so let's just start with you. This will affect your life the least.

Do you want me to come in there? Yeah, wait until Johnny puts this last one on. That last bag. That's the ultimate Caesar blend. This is just a mess. The whole wheel is falling apart. The best part is every single person that's walking by the studio right now is looking in here and going, they are a bunch of idiots. Like, you can see their lips.

They're going, they are just a bunch of idiots. So we've got the wheel of recalled lettuce now. Not a budget. And as you can see, this is a real problem. If you're unfamiliar with what's happening in the world, this sums it up. Jessica Mallard is still recovering from a three-week bout with cyclist psoriasis. I'm really, really weak. I lay down a lot.

Like, this morning, I struggled getting up. She believes she was infected after eating bagged salad from Taylor Farms, landing her in the hospital for 10 days. So what we have now is five different bags of salad from Taylor Farms. No more lettuce for now. Right now I'm going to veer away from it. Despite a false positive in testing, the FDA is now confident in its traceback investigation to iceberg lettuce grown by Taylor Farms in central Mexico. So here's what we got here. We got five bags of Taylor Farms lettuce. We are calling this stupid bit

Rolettis. Jake is going to go ahead and give the wheel a spin. Allie's just adding her pubes to it as well. Jake, as you know, you're a magnet for Allie's pubes the previous time we've done the wheel. Go ahead. Jake, you understand that you're excited, though.

You love free food at work, right? That I do like, but I'm not excited about this or the possibilities of this. I already have a condition. I don't need extra conditions. And I don't need Allie's pubes again either. Well, there we go. It's on the wheel now.

Great. So here we go. If you're not watching on YouTube, this will be worth checking out. It's time for Rulettos. No more lettuce for now. Oh. Oh. I didn't get anything, right?

I mean, technically. I think this is going to be a real mess. All right. Technically, Jake, you are so close to landing on the Mediterranean crunch. Yeah, but I didn't land on it. so I'm free. Give it another spin, though. I think the wheel is weighted in a way

that it's going to be hard for it to land on the end. Give it a real spin. There we go. Look at this go. The rillettish wheel is spinning around right now. I'm not... See, it's going to land in the same place. All right.

Yeah, the wheel is weighted wrong. Let's go. Once again, whatever it lands on is what you will eat. Whatever it lands on, it's landed on... I'm not doing an L.E.C. Yeah, see, it's going to be the same. It's between Mediterranean and Avocado Ranch. Well, Jackie, Jake, you get your pick then, Jake.

All right, I'm taking Avocado Ranch. All right, Avocado Ranch. Jake's taking the Avocado Ranch. Don't mess up my tape job. Now that's off the board. See if the boss wants to come in here and spin the roulette wheel. He seems excited about this bit. Oh, no, no.

All right, go ahead. All right. Jake, go ahead. Al, you want to spin it for me? Sure. I'll let you spin it for me. This is my spin. Whatever.

Wow. This is not going to. Oh, here we go. This is all the different recalled lettuces. Oh, nice. I got a nice open patch of the wheel. That's good. I don't have to worry about that.

You can't put the wheel out of cubes. That's disgusting. Mediterranean crunch. I think I was close. I hate to take this. If I'm deciding between Mediterranean Crunch Bag Salad or Asian, I hate to do this, I'm going to take the Asian. Okay. Jake, do you want to trade?

That's what Jake said. Jake, do you want Swatches? No, I want to stick with my avocado ranch. All right. That's like the worst white elephant. It is the absolute worst. Are you going to swap me with diarrhea salad? And Vanessa, you can come in here and spin the wheel next.

Thank you, Johnny. That's mine. I'll take the Asian. Thank you. We didn't think about what happens when we have to take these off the wheel. No, we didn't think about anything. Allie, we gave up when we came up with roulettes, all right? And finally now.

Get a sack to the names. That's right. Jessica Mallard is still recovering from. Relax, Jessica Mallard. You're going to be okay. All right, Vanessa, whenever you're ready now. You have three different bags of lettuces from Pale Ale Farms. Round and round it goes.

Where it stops, no one knows. This is roulettes. Oh, we know where it's going to stop. Ultimate Caesar, Vanessa. Oh, Mediterranean Crunch. It's got pubes. Am I not a pube? Vanessa, it's Ali.

Almost. Oh! All right, you have to decide between Ali's pubes and Mediterranean Crunch. What am I supposed to do with the pubes? If I choose pubes, why would you choose pubes? That's what you're asking. Your pube mustache.

Pube stache. Yeah, pube stache. You're asking between pubes and Mediterranean Crunch? Go for the pubes. I just want to know, what do I do with the pubes? Pubes! What do you do with them? If you pick pubes, we'll tell you what you do with them.

You have to sprinkle them on the sofa. All right. I would need a minute to go to the bathroom. I wasn't prepared for this. You've been preparing for months, Allie. I'll do meditarian. What? Meditation.

That's not even... Meditation and nerd. That's not even one of them. All right, that's off the wheel now. All right, so now we've... Oh, Allie ripped it. This is making me sad. What is making you sad?

This is the saddest thing we've ever done. There's your bag of lettuce. Enjoy it. All right. And that means there's only two left. Allie, you're pregnant, so you don't have to participate. Yes. Mom, I just puke. I want to trade one of these.

So I guess everyone... Which one do you... Jake, we all have our bag. Cheers. Johnny, which one do you want? Take one of the ones that's left. I don't think the wheel's going to matter. I just need a fork to start digging in.

Let me spin. Let me spin. All right. Rulettas. Here we go, baby. Watch it land on pubes. I wish I didn't spin that. Oh, fall down, fall down, fall down. Come on.

Oh. And it landed on... Johnny, once again, you'll have the choice between maple, bacon, bourbon, bagged salad from Taylor Farms, or the Caesar blend, which was recently being... All right, I'll take maple bourbon bacon. All right, that's off the board. Everyone grab your forks. Again, Caesar is the reject.

And then this is where the fun begins. So, uh... The fun hasn't begun yet? Well, no, now we're going to start eating the salad. This is all the rejected salad, so now we're going to dig in. What a fitting song to get into now. It's Runaway. Lincoln Park.

On K-Rock. As we dig in. And, Allie, if you want to feel not left out, there we go. Jake, you ready? You're opening with a pen? Cheers, bro. Oh, cheers.

Least of my worries. First bite's going down. We'll be right back. task. She's been trying to do a little more around the house and taking care of our kid because I'm still in the first trimester of pregnancy. I don't feel very well. I'm really tired all the time. And usually I am the main person cooking dinner. I'm cooking dinner at least four or five nights a week. And she, we talked a few months ago where I asked her, maybe you could try once a week cooking a meal. She said that was a very overwhelming concept for her. Now, fast forward

a few months she has decided she wants to try it so sunday she went through all of the recipe books that we have and she decided on one recipe and it was a teriyaki meatballs and rice situation and i she said you know that like one of those like pre-made ones no no like making like ground chicken oh what does she think don't you know that's above her skill set like yeah you just go with spaghetti that's what i was like just do something simple she was like well this is easy i could do this and i was like well katie you have to make the meatballs by hand you have to mix everything and form the meatballs it sucks and she was like well you're saying i can't do it i was like no you can do it go ahead and do it because this is one of those things where you

bitch about i'm sure you bitch a lot about how you don't do anything and you don't ever make dinner and yet she doesn't really don't though but i never you never comment like uh i mean because I thought you were annoyed all the time that you were constantly cooking and she didn't really do it. And now she's doing it, but you know that's going to be a pain in the ass, too. That's the problem, is from the moment she decided on this recipe, it has been a complete time suck for me to go shopping, get all of the ingredients for her. She didn't shop for the ingredients? She ended up not going. We were supposed to go to the grocery store together.

It ended with her staying home and her sending me a screenshot of the recipe. Oh, man. So I got most of the stuff, got home, and then last night was her night. Because even at the beginning of the week, I was like, so when are you cooking this dinner? And she was like, I think I might be able to do it Thursday. I was like, can you just do it? I think I might be able to do it on Thursday. She understands dinner is a daily thing.

And then she was like, actually, I think I could do it tonight. I'm like, that's right. You can. You can do it any night. So then she starts cooking this meal. And I kid you not, 3.30 p.m. because she's so nervous about having it ready on time. What time do you guys normally eat dinner? Like 6.30.

Okay. She thought she needed three hours to prepare. That's an insane amount of time. That's a crazy amount of time. I wasn't home when she began the cooking. The amount of questions and screenshots I got from her right off the bat was shocking. She realized right away that she didn't have one of the ingredients. It was chili sauce.

And she had, I mean, it was a complete derail. She just had no idea how to, you know, combat that. Get her ass to the store. And I was like, either go buy it or there's other hot stuff. Like, it's really just for heat. So if you're just mixing it in with meatballs, you know, they just find chili paste or whatever else we have. Sriracha. Yes, sriracha.

A million things. So she can't figure it out. So she's sending me screenshots of every other hot item we have in the house to ask me if that is going to work. Frank's Red Hot. Will this work? No. Exactly. And I'm like, kind of no, but you kind of just know these things when you're cooking.

Also, recipes are, you kind of follow. Kind of suggest them. Yeah, you go with the flow. She can't, no, guys. She doesn't know how to do that. No. Even the fact that she had to do a tablespoon of chopped cilantro, she like was holding the cilantro going, I don't know how to measure this.

I don't know what to do. It's just like a pinch of cilantro. And I'm like, just eyeball it. She doesn't know how to eyeball it. Allie, I know that you have audio of her doing this and how frustrating this was, but just so you know where you're coming from, because my wife also does not know how to cook. She one time tried to make a recipe

that called for a three-quarters of a cup, and she thought, she read that as it needs three four-cups of something. Oh, like three to four cups? No, no, four cups three different times. Oh, my God. She said, this is so liquidy, and I said, how much did you add?

And she said, I put in 12 cups. Oh, my God. Why did you do that? It says three four-cups of this. I go, you idiot. It's three-fourths of a cup. Three-fourths of a cup. Yeah.

And she goes, that's why I don't do anything. And then she stormed out and I had to clean up the mess. And you're like, yeah, I guess why do you do things then? It's probably easier. Like, several points, I was like, you can give up. It's okay to just call it. Or I'll take over. She wants to prove you wrong now.

So this is her trying to figure out, because one of the instructions says get a large bowl. Oh, man. That's pretty easy. I don't know what large bowl means. Was this large enough? Oh, God. Or an egg? Is it large enough for the following ingredients?

And breadcrumbs, green onions, cilantro, and chicken. It might not be for the chicken, right? But I can just do one at a time. So she was just going to pick a bowl, do one ingredient at a time, and if it got too much, she would transfer it to another bowl. If she's thrown off by the step, get a large bowl. If that is too much, this is all too much. What about the vegetables?

So she didn't, she planned the meatballs. That was the main focus. And then it was like, I'm going to make some rice. I know how to make rice. But then she was like, whoa, what am I going to do about vegetables? I haven't figured that part out yet. I have no idea. I'm going to just put some broccoli on a pan.

Sounds like you're eating before the dinner. I was snacking, yeah. Because it was 3.30. Fat Ali, Fat Ali. Fat Ali, baby. I'm here, baby. That was my pre-dinner dinner. But I was like, if you're doing like an Asian theme, just like put some broccoli with some sesame oil, put it, you know, fry it up and you're good.

Because you cook, so you understand that. But she, to her, that's difficult. She tried to go to the vegetable section of the recipe book and she couldn't like find something. So here, this was her next tactic. Siri, how do you cook broccoli in the oven? Oh, Jesus. Cook broccoli in the oven. Place the broccoli florets on a baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil.

I'm dipping back into the bag at this point. It sounds like you're going to taste. Spread the broccoli out in a single layer and bake in the oven until tender and crisp. Siri, what should the temperature of the oven be in for how long? Oh, man. She knows nothing. Siri couldn't give her enough information. One tablespoon of minced fresh cilantro and one green onion.

One? One? How do you do this? One. I will mince it first So then it was like Thinly sliced green onions And she chops the onions

They get a little long right She chops it like three or four times And she's like is this good I was like no And then she would look at it And chop it again And be like is that good I'm like Katie you gotta keep going

Was the meal edible See the meal was great because even though she obsesses and even though she doesn't really know what she's doing, she does it by the book. And that's why, and she's like, she'll cook it for five minutes and then check. Cook it for five minutes and check.

I'm just like, I'll put it in for 20 minutes. It might be a little overcooked, but whatever. You know, I'm kind of making it up as I go and I'm not doing it with precision, but she did a great job. Well, according to a lot of people in the text line, they say, I am the same person as Ali's wife. I reread a recipe 80,000 times.

You cook, I'll clean, I'm done. And I get it. Most people, it's like a different skill. People's brain works differently for whatever reason. I know. And then the amount of validation and praise I had to give her after the fact was so much more energy. Wasn't it good? Was that bite good?

Was that bite good? How about that bite? Which dinner was better, the one she made or the pre-dinner dinner you were eating during that process? Oh, the snacks were delicious. The snacks were great. Those little crunchy curlies from Trader Joe's? I got the long gate. Oh.

Jake, it doesn't work that quick, dude. It doesn't work. In fact, hold on. Tina, you're on KROQ. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah. I just wanted to say you guys are insane for doing this roulette thing, and I hope none of you get sick.

But, yeah, I think that the incubation period for this virus or whatever it is is like two weeks. So even if you guys are eating it and you're like, oh, tomorrow I feel great, and you feel great next week, you might not feel great like two weeks from now. So two weeks from now is where the SiphoSaur ass could hit us. Possibly. I mean, Google me wrong, but I think that's what I saw. Did you mix up your— No, I'm just eating raw out of the bag still. Oh, you're just doing lettuce by itself?

Yeah, I got to get a bowl. I don't have a bowl yet. But I'll tell you, the lettuce, very great. I can't believe you're even using a fork. You just get in there with your bare hands. Yeah, that's all for the entertainment of the people. We'll take a quick break. Back with more after this.

As promised, we will get you into Universal Studios Hollywood right now. If you're the 20th caller with four one-day tickets so you can ride the new roller coaster that's been... I've been watching them build this thing for years going, that thing looks awesome, man. and you will get to get on it. It is Fast and Furious Hollywood Drift opening this summer. We get you on the ride and in the park if you want to call it 20 right now at 800-520-1067. Right now, though, let's get into your news.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Now that summer is in full swamp-ass mode, another heat wave starts today. The mosquito activity is ramping up, but there are things that are a little different this year, and it is all our fault because we've been using mosquito repellent and insecticides for so long that the mosquitoes are now immune to it. Backyard bug sprays are breeding tougher mosquitoes

that can now bypass any amount of DEET you should choose to use. What about the tiki torches? I think those are still fine. They're very fun. No, it's all of it, I think. They just don't care. They don't care. Citronella?

I saw a guy go, don't worry, I have a citronella can. I go, you think mosquito cares about your citronella can? They don't care. I tell you what's been working for me is using those dunks. So I have about two five-gallon buckets filled with water, and it's standing water. I put these dunks in there, and it prevents them from... It's like birth control. It's like poison.

Yeah, it's like poison. The mosquitoes go in there, they drink the water, and then they spread around, and then they die. Whoa, so you just have a bunch of buckets of poison water outside? Yeah, yep. That looks nice. Way better than Tiki Gorge. And if the mosquitoes take over, then Omar can get in the poison water himself and end it. There you go.

What kind of poison is it? They're called dunks. The mosquito dunks. Oh, it's like a specific brand. Oh, got it. Dunkaroos. Those are delicious. Yeah, they are good.

They don't eradicate everything, but they really kind of take care of the infestation. Standing water for a mosquito. That's what attracts them. That's like their motel. That's where they like to go and bang, bang, bang. It's standing water. It's like Vegas for them. Man, a weekend in standing water?

Let's go, honey. Yeah, it's been a while since I've been to standing water. I think that happens in standing water. I can't spend more than 48 hours in standing water. That's where all the banging happens. and then now Omar has figured out what a poison they're standing water. Yes, but it's only a matter of time

before they become impervious to it. The stuff that you spray around your place to kill the bugs, the stuff you put on your body, they're evolving to be stronger than that. They studied a specific type of mosquito and they found that it developed a genetic mutation that helped them survive

these insecticides and bug sprays. So they're evolving and mutating so that they can survive the things that we're doing. So over time, I mean, just they won, they win. Well, that's how evolution works, right? We did the same thing with us. What are we going to do now? Shoot them in the face?

They're so tiny. We've got to come up with better. We've got to evolve our pesticides. So today is the first official Aussie Day. So happy first Aussie Day to everyone. It marks the one-year anniversary of his death. I was kind of surprised that the day they chose was the day he died. Because I think a lot of times they do a different significant date or birth date or something like that.

But he's the Prince of Darkness. So maybe it makes more sense. Yeah, that's true. His death day is the day to celebrate. His son made an announcement about how he would like people to spend this day. And he said to anybody who is compelled, I want anyone to share a story about my dad, whether it's the first time you listened to his music, the first time you saw him play live, the first time you saw him in person, anything that stood out to you, or if you had an encounter with him.

All I want for this day is for July 22nd to be filled with awesome Ozzy stories. But do it in his voice, right? Ozzy, you got to do it in his voice, man. This is how I pay my tribute. I'm not sure if this is when Johnny was on the air when Ozzy died. A year ago today. Are you ready? Are you ready?

I can't hear you. Are you ready? One, two, three. I'm about to crazy train. Oh, man. He's back from the dead. Oh, wow. What a tribute that was, huh?

I wonder if I could, you know, every year on Ozzy Day, I could put my glasses on, put my costume back. That was a dead ringer. Maybe I can meet some people and kind of do it, do it up. You should go out in the streets as Ozzy today. I bet I could get a free donut. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now, give you those tickets to go to Universal Studios,

and this is also the hour we get you into a brand new music festival in Santa Monica, California, and that's all happening right now. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hey, Fernando. Yo, good morning. Good morning. You are the 20th caller, so you get to go ride the new Fast and Furious Hollywood Drift roller coaster at Universal Studios, plus you get to spend the whole day at the park

with three friends. Congratulations. That's awesome, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you for waking up with us, and hold on so we can get you those tickets. Once again, we'll have more tickets for you to go to Universal tomorrow. If you're waiting, though, to go to see The Killers and Jack White and Sublime and many more, we will get you this hour

into a festival that was just announced called Ocean Way happening in Santa Monica, California. So win your way in this hour and then again next hour if you've been paying attention to the show so you can take advantage of the Klein Alley Show Quiz. Also this hour joining us from the great

Cage the Elephant, we have at least one of the Schultz Brothers. Will we have two? That's a mystery yet to be determined. I know. I kind of left it vague. One, maybe two, but Cage the Elephant, some portion of that band will be by to play some new music for you on KROQ this hour, so get ready

for that and so much more. Also, your Jason report is upcoming. We are in the greatest stretch of months of the year, and we will prove that to you. We check in with the Jason Chopper, and that is next on KROQ. Caves Yellowfin will be joining us in the studio in moments, so if you're not watching us on YouTube,

you could be. We are there right now as well, but thanks for tuning in to KROQ. Of course, tickets to the festival in Santa Monica are coming up later this hour, and we'll find out all the events that you could be participating in through the month of july august september october november a stretch of months affectionately known as jason with a new jason report from postmaster johnny in just a moment but lebron actually has made the announcement alley so here we go i know a lot of people waiting to find out this is the

announcement after careful consideration i have decided that i ready to announce that i too have never been intimate with jake thank you for sharing that announcement that i've also never been intimate with jake the nerd neither has any other nba player get that man a shirt uh it's time now as we check into the chopper high above all the things you could be doing this month and the five months that lay ahead during jason if you're single and you plan on going out on a lot of dates then this jason report is for you i'm talking about you jake the nerd so in july you have time to take your girl to the oc fair go get some fried food or you can go see that new movie the odyssey so plan your poop breaks accordingly both incredible options and great places for first

dates but if your date's really cool then she'll be fine with going to see the 20th anniversary of disney pixar's cars at street food cinema it's gonna be so sick especially if she loves the movie cars but if your girl loves shopping then you're gonna want to take her to like the rose bowl flea market on september 13th it could be a little pricey though because you got to pay to park and then you got to pay to like get in so mind your wallet okay jake okay so by like october you should kind of know if this girl's going to be your girlfriend or not.

And if you do plan to date her, my cousin is getting married in Santa Barbara on October 11th. And you can come to that if you're serious about this girl. And finally, November, you can Netflix and show

with your girlfriend and watch The Adventures of Cliff Booth hitting Netflix on November 24th. It's a spinoff of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood with Brad Pitt.

And that's what's coming up in Jason. It's weird because the helicopter kind of dipped out there and cut out the middle. And then it restarted? Yeah.

Hopefully that thing was gonna smash i do like the girlfriend theme though yeah it's a good theme if you got a lot of dates to plan in the uh foreseeable future so there's all things you could be doing over the month of months of jason i like the advice of your girlfriend will enjoy the movie cars but only if she likes the movie cars right oh yeah if she's cool and most hot girls love the movie cars it's proven i uh i would disagree with that strongly i would no no no you ask any 20 year old right now they'd be like oh hell yeah i want to go see cars it's like the it movie that like hot girls really love right now because of that song life is a highway rascal flats remember that yeah it's

a bop all the girls are into that song yeah it's like a meme right now and they kind of like are really into it that's why they're playing it at this outdoor movie where do uh let's see where do a hot girls hang out erwan pilates gym uh why don't you go over there later today and try to get a legitimate answer as to how many of them are a fan of the movie cars all right i could get i'll come back with like three i got you thanks for them for the effort buddy if you ask 10 hot women are they a fan of the movie cars i i think you'll get maybe one that goes it's fine i don't think any i think you're insane i think your theory is wrong well maybe they're ratatouille girls but i mean like either way ratatouille wally cars like all those three were like trifectas back in the

day right they were a fan of them when they were four no i was like eight when that came out right Okay. No, double it, man. I was eight. I was this many. When we get back, assuming they didn't turn around. Oh, it's 562. It's true.

Cars is summer Disney movie, and Cars Land at Disneyland is summer. And yes, I am a hot girl. Bada bing. All right. That's one. You only have two left. Yeah, two left, man. Find two by tomorrow at this time.

When we get back, Cage the Elephant stopping into the K-Rock Studios and some new music for you and then tickets to a festival happening right here at the santa monica beach and that's all coming up after this some damn fine caged elephant on k-rock and as we welcome the schultz brothers back to the k-rock studios of course let's just go over some of the many many massive hits they've given us over the years Come a little closer, man, you see. Cigarette. Daydream.

Travel on my left, travel on my right. He said there ain't no rest for the wicked. Hide me in the back room, tell me when it's over. We've already got that montage ready to go, guys. Welcome back to KROQ. Please say hi to Cage the Elephant. Welcome, guys. Hey, how's it going?

Thanks for being here. Hey, what's up? Nice to see you again. Last time we did this was downstairs. You played a nice little intimate show for some K-Rock listeners. Then I think we did a fun thing at the El Rey. And then you got tapped by a little band by the name of Oasis to co-headline with them, which must have been nice. How did that whole thing go down?

Was there a phone call, a text? We, like everyone else, just heard rumors about the tour on social media, and I started writing them letters immediately. Postcards Obsessive with magazine cutouts and everything Every truck stop that we stopped at Got a postcard and sent it to them I mean backstage though I spent a little time

Did they really get along or was it all an act I mean you must have seen a little bit backstage No I think they're getting along What would you even know about What it's like to tour constantly With a brother That you secretly hate We never see each other on tour.

You're saying different wings. Yeah, exactly. But in the course of your career together, has there ever been a moment where there was friction and you said, oh, no, I don't want to go the way of the Oasis brothers? Has there ever been a moment where there's been friction between us? I actually threw a pizza at Matt one time,

which actually I feel very, very bad about. It's a waste of a perfectly good pizza. Yeah. I don't remember that. Yeah. What was the reason? Yeah, I did. I'll throw it at you, baby.

Yes, you do. I don't remember that. Yes, you do. I remember the time he threw me through a glass table, though. Oh, God. As adults or children? That glass table was a pizza table. Oh, man, delicious.

It had a pizza on it. Yeah, you guys are, I love the relationship because from a young, young age, back when you guys were, you know, young bloodsuckers before you were the massive monsters you are today, you would fight a lot, and I believe, Brad, you said you would almost always win the fights. the physical fights, you would always win, right? Did I say that? Pretty.

Yeah, so Brad used to do this thing that when my parents, first off, we have to let the audience know, the Bloodsuckers was our, that was our neighborhood gang. Right. Brad was the leader, and I was his. Just like the outsiders? I was his faithful sidekick. Oh, my God.

Why did I just, like, envision you as, like. Brad, you want me to hit him with a stick? You want me to go hit him with a stick? So he would tell you what to do and you would go out and create the trouble. Yeah.

Why am I being painted as very evil right now? We got a lot of stories. Yeah. We talked to Matt a half an hour before you guys came in to make sure

to get all the stories right. Really get them good. So you guys would fight and what would Matt do? What would Brad do, Matt? Oh, yeah, no. So when Mom and Dad would go to the grocery store

if they stepped out, as soon as the door shut and they locked the deadbolt, Brad would turn around and go, torture time. Do you think your parents had a favorite? Do you think they have a favorite and they'll never admit it?

Yeah, it's our youngest brother. Really? Yeah. No, no, no. Not Daniel. Jeremy. Yeah, we used to call him the prince. Jeremy.

Yeah. Because, I mean, you have a couple of kids. Jeremy's great, though. We love our brothers. There's two other brothers. Not musical. Oh, yeah. They're both musical.

Just not as musical. They are. They are. They're actually better than us. That's the thing. You can stand and hold the tambourine in the corner. They're not opening for a week. They've actually written every single song we've ever put out.

He literally just took the joke out of my mouth. And this is why we get in fights. This is why I throw a pizza at you. But I do find it interesting because you grew up, and we've talked about this before, but very religious. And when you wanted to listen to Nirvana, when you wanted to listen to Pearl Jam, you had to do this in hiding. The same way that people will hide cigarettes and then put scope in their mouth before they go home so their parents don't realize they were smoking. You would have to listen to this music in secrecy, correct? We actually did all four.

We would put scope, smoke a cigarette, and listen to music, all in secrecy. And if you got busted, like, humming a Nirvana, like, all of a sudden you're singing, like, a Nirvana song, like your dad's like, what is that noise? It wasn't so much Nirvana. It was more or less Green Day. Oh, really? And my dad caught us with the Green Day tape. It was going to get snapped, you know, because all the cuss words. Well, yeah, they are cuss words.

That is the devil. I mean, that makes sense. The devil's music. That's actually the truth. He did snap a Green Day CD in half with a pair of pliers. Which one was it? And I'm like, did you have to use the pliers? You couldn't just snap it?

You weren't strong enough to do that. Torch your tongue. Really let it sink in. Drive it home. Like, you made me use the pliers. Get the needle nose. I wonder what other great albums of yours they've ruined over the years to prove a point. My dad used to snap all our albums in front of us.

Oh, I know, I know. We'd get our first record, Cage the Elephant. He'd be like, I wrote that song. But it's like throwing someone's cigarettes down the toilet. It's like you're just going to get more cigarettes. What's the point of... Thank you, happy birthday on our birthday. Snapped it.

Yeah. Well, you had a lot of six studio albums. In my dad's defense, he was just trying to protect us from Satan. I get it. Well, Liz, we have a new song. We're excited because we're going to play a new song, Beaches in Tennessee, and before we play this on KROQ, because it has been two years since you've released new music.

The last one that we chatted about was Neon Pill and obviously all the stuff that you were dealing with when you wrote that song. But this is kind of picks up where that left off, right? Because this was mental health based as well. Well, you know, with the whole album Neon Pill, we had written most of that material when I was very sick. And just for the audience, which most people know this, or a lot of people do, I went through a mental crisis a couple years back.

And it honestly saved my life So being arrested saved my life Which I was hospitalized for three months But we wrote a lot of that material While I was very unwell So finishing the record Was kind of like trying to decipher This weird

Psychosis induced narrative And this album Is the first material That I've been able to look back on it From a very stable place And a healthy place and kind of heal and move on and move towards the future. Was there ever a moment that it felt a little conflicted,

where you felt conflicted about whether to share this personal experience? You know, I mean, obviously being vulnerable in that way can be difficult, and you're sharing such an intimate part of your personal life. No, I mean, honestly, it's, I enjoy the pain. Or you just feel like your life is, you know, I think you guys are so connected to your fans where you may feel like you have to share. This is part of your life, and part of your life is sharing what your personal life entails. Personally, I feel like the only way to get to material that's real and that resonates is to be transparent in your own writing.

So we have a single, but we also have more new music on the way. Yeah, we're kind of putting on the finishing touches on the album right now. We're going to play every song right now. Oh, wow, great. What a treat. We're going to leak the entire album. With no instruments? We are going to play Beaches in Tennessee.

And I will say already, I think the sound is so uplifting. It sounds happy. I know it came from the mental health stuff, the other side of it. But it sounds like this is maybe you're talking about just the surviving part of it, getting through on the other side. And it's a great rock song, which some people have not yet heard. So let's go ahead and give this a play on KROQ. Anything you want to say before we hit play? Yeah, it's just like, I feel like this song for us was reclaiming that ability to write about turbulent times in life in a very, kind of like you said, lighthearted way and have fun with it.

Beaches in Tennessee, Cage the Elephant on KROQ. Come back more with the Schultz Brothers next on KROQ. Oh man, with a live cough at the end of your song, it sounded great. Beaches in Tennessee, Cage the Elephant on KROQ in the studio right now. Brad Schultz, Matt Schultz, and you guys have given us so many great opportunities to spend with our listeners and they always want to say they appreciate you. Hey, Klein and Ali Schultz, thank you so

much for letting me come to watch Casey Ellison at the bounce base. Had a great time. Love you guys. Ali and I were having this conversation before you came in here, but we agree on not a lot. One of our favorite live bands to watch is always you, and I think a lot of it had to do at the beginning, Matt, with the fact that

you would pretty much put your life at risk every show. You didn't care. Broken bones, broken body parts. Jumping off Do you plan on, as you're now releasing new music, I would imagine there's an album perhaps to follow and then more touring. Do you plan on taking care of your body more now or no? Do you continue to want to go ahead and prove that you are unbreakable? I don't know. We'll leave that up to the future.

I mean, the amount of scaffolding he's climbed, the speaker, it's almost like when you are performing, it looks to us like you've lost complete control. Yeah, pretty much. Yes, I have. I am unhinged. As a fan, it's a lot of fun to watch. It's funny, though, because now that I'm a father, my son's one years old, and I want to take care of myself these days. No, no, no, definitely still be going out there and going hard for sure. Did you, for the first birthday party, do all the traditional smash cake and all that kind of stuff?

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like some of that stuff I was like, no, I'm not going to do any of that. And then first birthday rolls around. You're like, well, I have to get the smash cake. I have to do all the things. We've been so strict on making sure that we do all the things that our doctor is telling us and all that stuff, which I know that's what you're supposed to do. But anyways, so he hadn't had any sugar. And when he had his first bite of cake, he's like throwing up in his mouth.

He's like. As long as you see their eyes dialing. Like, whoa. This is a crazy experience. Yeah, you see that junkie look in their eyes. Like, oh, you've been holding this for me for a year? You're like, it gets way better than that, dude. Yeah, but he's definitely, he takes after me.

He's like already, you know, they give the little play pins, and he's like doing flips over it. So we're like, bro, come on. He takes after you. Brad, is there a time frame? I know that this song, we're letting it, marinating in it now, but there are other songs that have been written, recorded yet? Yeah, we're pretty much finished with the record.

we have some like there's a couple songs that we're finishing up right now but for the most part the album's done well 562 said

I have seen Cage three times you guys are badass always memorable and saw you guys at the El Rey and remember Brad breaking his guitars

on stage it was crazy how many guitars do you think you've lost that you've either given away broken or otherwise oh my gosh

I don't know actually I had the most awkward guitar giveaway oh yeah that was of all times about three days ago, there was a kid that was

holding a sign saying, Brad, could I have your guitar? Oh my God. I start running down the stairs of the stage, and I don't know why, but I was like, yeah, I'm going to jump the last four stairs. I jumped off the last four

stairs, and as soon as I hit the ground, my knees went to jello. I literally was like, I looked like Gumby. He pulls up a sign and says, never mind. And everything just slowed down. And I was like, no, your knees aren't going to give out. And then I was like, no, your knees aren't going to give out.

And then I went head first and seal slid and stopped right at the kid's feet. And I looked up at him like I was terrified. I was like, you can keep your guitar, sir. I don't know, did you still give it to him? No, he said, I don't want it anymore. He just helped you up. He said, you're not as cool as I thought you were, buddy. You keep your guitar, you loser.

As always, we... Vinny spit on me. We wrap up every interview here at KROQ with not one, but two epic questions for KG Elephant. Two! Two! Epic! Epic! Questions!

Brad Schultz, Matt Schultz, KG Elephant. In KROQ in the studio right now. Epic question number one. Allie, give it to him. Which state makes the best barbecue and why? Of all the barbecue you've ever eaten in, I'm sure it's been a lot. I'm going to go with, I think, Texas, Austin, Texas. I know Austin's not a state, but I said Texas first.

It's a simple question, Brad. Hey, in the spirit of our new single, I'm going to say Tennessee. Smart, smart. Epic question number two. National Tennis. Epic question number two. Is Austin considered a state? I don't think they're going to get this one.

It's a toughie. This is the real question, though. When you're in Los Angeles, as you are right now, what is one thing you must do? Is there a thing you do when you're here that you go, at least we're going to get to do that? I used to go to, and I should do this. It's been a minute, but I used to, every time I came to L.A., I would go to the Electric Banana and get a tattoo. Oh. What was the last tattoo you got there, do you remember?

I think the last one I got was this little knife guy. Oh, cool. Running after the tiger. He's going to stop him, you know? And do you say, can I just have a little knife guy, you make it up? Yeah, yeah. You have a scare. How do you interpret that?

I'd like a little clown that's holding a dagger running towards a tiger. You make up the rest. Go ahead. His name is Austin. Yeah. Choose your own adventure. Well, guys, congratulations on the new music. Thank you for coming here to share with us.

Thank you so much. And we look forward to hearing more when the album comes out. And when we return, we will get you into a festival that, sadly, Cage is not playing at. But it's happening in Santa Monica on the beach. And you will see one of the people from this band there, Jack White, will be at this show. So if you want your tickets, call her 20 right now. We get you into the beach alley. What is this thing called?

Ocean Way. Ocean Way. That's what it's called. It's a new festival. We can't keep track of it all. We'll give away your tickets next on KRO. There at Klein Alley Show, you'll be seeing Jack White of that band joining forces with many others, including Sublime and The Killers. It's all going to be happening in Santa Monica.

You have to wait until September, but that'll get here real quick. September 26th, it is called Ocean Way Festival. And we've got you in right now. If you are the 20th caller, which puts us on Kelly. Good morning, Kelly. Yeah. You are caller 20. Woo!

So get ready. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. Bring that energy to the beach with you so you can enjoy The Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and many others, and you'll be at the first ever, the inaugural Ocean Way Festival. What a brag. Hold on one second.

That woo sounded forced, by the way. Thank you. Is that a real woo or a fake? Omar said that was not an authentic woo. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. You're cutting out. Was your woo an authentic woo or was that like a...

It's so authentic, you have no idea. Then do it again. Excited. Woo! That one sounded better. I hear what Omar's saying, though. She went down on the first woo. Yeah, I was just like, huh.

It was a woo. And the second one was like a real, like, letting it. But also, she could be in an office. Are you in an office? Are you in a car? Where are you right now? Yes, I'm at a public school. So it is summer, but I still have to keep it sort of low.

Why are you at school? Because I work all summer. I work in a textbook room. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, my goodness. What is that, by the way? That sounds made up. That's the first woo I've ever heard.

Probably the first woo in the history of a textbook room ever. The books are like, shh. I'm telling you, I'm the textbook room lady. And I have way too much energy to be stuck in a textbook room with no windows. Is that a punishment? Like, that sounds like something I would get in trouble for at school. If you don't, you'll be going to the textbook room. You know what?

It kind of is a punishment. If you saw the room I'm in, for sure. A big punishment. Can you pick a book at random and read us something from it so that today can be an educational show? Oh, good idea. Sure. Would you like an opera or something for it? Just grab something at random.

No, God, that sounds terrible. Catcher in the Rye. I've heard of it. Catcher in the Rye. Oh, that's bad. God, it's always Catcher in the Rye, isn't it? It is. When are we going to get off that book?

It's lame. Move along. I mean, that was when they only had like three books available. Jesus. That was one of them. There's always one dude who's obsessed with it. Go ahead. Whenever you're ready, take us through any excerpts.

do you choose okay uh let's see i use the caddy once in a while just to make some dough all right the textbook room is terrible hold on hold on one second we accept your original woo you need this more than anyone uh please go give her all the tickets as a matter of fact uh and uh and when you're at this festival who's going to be uh manning the textbook room because obviously you have to be there in the summer i i don't know and i don't care okay There we go That was a nice I don't think anyone's

Going to steal them While you're gone Hey whatever happened To the textbook room I was at a festival Nothing Kelly wasn't there Still safe

They're all there Apparently no one Likes this room I bet you that's where All the teachers Go and get hired Because no one Think to look

In the textbook room More sex right Oh maybe that's it Let me ask her Hold on Kelly back on hold Get back Kelly did the teachers

Have sex in the textbook room Is it like a Kind of a slang It sounds like It's a boring room But really that's The fun room no nobody comes back here oh okay all right we tried we'll take she's keeping it a secret

that's why she's gonna have to keep the woos down all the other people wooing in there we gotta take a break we're back in a moment we got add news to get to if you want tickets to that show kelly will be there you can be there as well we'll give them to you next hour with a little quiz if you've been paying attention to today's show what a doozy to pay attention to back with k rock we are klein alley show let's get into your add news and then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. Lots of ways to interact with the show. Call, text, or use that GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT.

Good morning, KROQ and the Klein and Ehlers show. I just want to let you guys know I got six stitches in my hand yesterday. And while I was getting my stitches, I had my headphones in, and the only thing that was keeping a smile on my face was you guys. Keep up the good work, and thank you

guys. I'm going to leave a message about getting stitches in your hand. Please explain how that happened. I mean, I assumed bar fight. Oh, I assumed it was an aggressive masturbator, but I guess we'll never know. I mean, it was probably a construction thing. It's probably not nearly as exciting. Had it been an exciting reason, I'm sure he would have given us the details. Yeah, it's probably some kitchen mishap.

Right. Like he was cutting onion. Got avocado hand, whatever that thing that was going around years ago because people couldn't take the pit out properly. That's when you definitely don't say what you cut your hand. Well, in that case, sir, you're a hero, and thanks for listening to the show. I'm glad we could keep you happy through the process. It seems like we were putting people in the ER

and helping people get through the ER experience. And now there's this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. We'll start with the big bear bald eagles, Jackie and Shadow, who have been an obsession for Southern California for years now. And overall, life has been good for them, except for that one weird year where their eggs didn't hatch

and they, like, ate them on livestream. But they hatched two new eaglets this year, and this week some drama went down because two other a-hole eagles started messing with Jackie and trying to kick her ass and get to her nest. It's like a Real Housewives of Orange County situation going on. I know, they're so SoCal, aren't they? Such a, I mean, really welcome.

You guys belong here. I'm sure they're so fake to her face, too. Throwing champagne at each other. It's like such a, you think about what's going on. I know it's eagles and this is nature, but it really is like all of those reality shows. Yeah, but they're all going to hash it out later on a podcast. Oh, great. Andy Cohen will be sitting in the nest, breaking it all down.

So what went wrong, do you think? The update now is that they rescued Jackie. There are not signs of injury, but she is underweight and alert, just like most of the women on Real Housewives. That's right. Right. Same exact schedule right there. They are thinking something's up with her kidneys.

She has inflammation and anemia, and they're trying to figure out why. But until then, they say she's in critical condition. Oh, no. I know. And what's sad is that Shadow has no idea. They're like, it's sad because we know where she is, and Shadow has no idea where she is, and he's just feeding her. Shadow's not banging.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, Shadow's probably thrilled right now. Dude, hell yeah. He's got the empty nest. This made-for-life thing sucks. Every year, it's that same boring, got to bang the same eagle again. And he's like, I can't cheat because there's literally cameras everywhere. Yeah.

He's like, hey, I'm just trying to slay a little bit. Got the stupid webcams really blowing up my spot. I know, but then he has to manage more than one nest. You know, I mean, with your dad, Omar, that didn't work out. He had two families. It didn't. No, he got busted. Yeah, it's crazy.

So you might think it is gross to rummage around in Goodwill bins to find discounted smelly worn clothes by thousands of people and you might be right but then there are stories like this when you happen to find a diamond in the trash heap and you make some serious money the greatest thrift store find of all time earlier this year going through the bins at a goodwill near portland oregon somehow or another of all of the goodwills oh my god the smelliest the portland oregon one that's got to be the stankiest of the stanky so much gross tie-dye Great Wilt Chamberlain's Lakers warm-up jacket from the 72 NBA Finals had ended up for sale in Oregon for $3.07. Here's Brown.

Oh, that's racist. Here's Brown. I don't know what to say to that. Is that the section he found it in? That's unnecessary. I think that's the guy's last name. Oh, okay. Well, that explains things.

Yeah, but I bet it was so discounted because the size was enormous. The really key moment for me was I was in my room and I looked at the measurements of the jacket. Wilt Chamberlain being 7'1", the jacket measured 33 inches long, so it would have gone down almost to my knees. I looked at it and it matched up. Smart kid, when Brown posted his discovery online, Sotheby's reached out, helped with the forensic investigation matching the stitches on the jacket to old pictures of it, and then put it up for auction. And that $3 thrift store fine

just sold for nearly $90,000. Which seems low. It does seem low. I think it's funny that Allie thinks it was discounted because it was so big. Everything at Goodwill is discounted. I know it is. $3.07 actually seems expensive for Goodwill.

I know, but if you think about it, an actual real jacket like that and if it's actually good quality still would be more like $7. $1.50. Okay, those massive sizes, they discount even more. $4 is a steal. Yeah, yeah, she knows about big sizes.

Allie does know. There's one that Allie knows about. I've never found anything of value. Allie is oftentimes referred to as the Wilt Chamberlain of shopping at Goodwill. That's how good she is there. That's right. I have a game-warm jacket from when I went to my last stint at Goodwill. If somebody owes you money, what is the best way to ask them for it?

According to a new study, people have gotten more and more afraid of the awkwardness of asking for their money back, So they just avoid it entirely. And a new Zelle report is showing that this is especially true for Gen Z. 76% of them are owed money by somebody, but have never been paid back and probably never will be because they're too afraid to ask for the money back. I think this is a lost art form, the owing someone money, because you can just instantly Zelle or Venmo or cash out their million ways. Yeah, but people feel like that's rude to Zelle request. No, you just do it on the spot. You just do it right there.

And I feel like now, I don't even let people wait to, because I'll forget and I don't want anyone to be like, oh. People always say, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Are they talking about just something like for a meal, hey, you're going to get me back, or I loaned you $1,000 and they're afraid for that amount? Good question, Omar, because it's really about big group expenses for trips and stuff. It's not even just dinners. It's like, I'm going to get the Airbnb, you get the flights or whatever. Still, that could be $1,000.

Exactly, and then 46% of Gen Z say they are now in debt because of this. because they're not asking people to give the money back. I don't even think you wait around to be asked. You understand. You know going in, all right, it's Vegas. We all threw in for a bottle service or whatever. I always thought, yeah, it was the end of the trip. Once everyone gets home, you go, oh, my gosh, so much fun.

Here's what everyone owes. Love you. You need one person to do that. We have one designated card person whenever I go out with my friends. We have, like, one person pay, and then we just Venmo them. But it's never more than, like, $20 or $30. Well, that's going out to dinner. You don't go on trips, Johnny.

Yeah, we don't trip or do anything like that. But even when we did once, like, I didn't spend more than, like, $200 to somebody. But the idea is you've got to remember to do it because if a week goes by, the person that owes the money is probably not going to remember they owe anyone money. And then someone's angry at you. Yeah, you have to be friends with people who hate owing money to people. Because there are some people who have no problem owing lots of money to people, and they'll just forget about it. If I know I owe someone something, I need to pay them right away. Otherwise, it bothers me.

A bunch of, oh, a brand new hour of the show starts next. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah. Welcome to your K-Rock and welcome to your Clint Alley show. It's just after 10 o'clock. We used to call this a summer hour, but here we are now in the middle of summer, enjoying an hour together. And this is the hour that we give away more of those tickets for you to go hang out on the beach in Santa Monica with Jack White. Killers, Sublime.

It is Ocean Way Festival and we get you in. And the homeless. Don't forget about the homeless. Oh, and the homeless. Headline. The homeless will be headlining. So get ready for that. Homeless guy gave me a donut when I went into the bathroom last time I was at the Santa Monica.

Whoa, no way. Yeah. I didn't accept it, but he did offer me a donut. Did he throw it at you like Jake does? Or he tossed it? I caught it in my mouth. Oh, nice. Good for you.

No, as I went in, he was like, would you like this donut? I was like, I'm okay, sir. Thanks so much. Probably someone gave him the donut. And he's probably, you know, like LA, everyone's all carb conscious. He's probably like, yeah, I'll pass it off to that woman. This isn't keto. I'll hand it over to Fat Allie when she walks by, and she'll probably go ahead and swallow that thing whole, and you passed on it.

And he was right. Big mistake right there. You should have taken it. Allie, you'll appreciate this message. You're the only person who will. Hey, guys. Sweet gives. I just wanted to call in about my sweet Odo accomplishment.

Nice. 100,000 miles. What? Hooray. Time to scrap it. Time for a new car. Time for a new car. You hit the big Odo, the big six-figure Odo, 100K.

Very impressive odometer accomplishment. Do you not think that's slightly impressive? Isn't that a milestone for somebody who bought a new car and now they got it to 100,000 miles? That is a different story because that one, it means something. When you get all excited because it goes 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1, or when it does 5, 6, 5, 6, and you take a picture, I think that is a giant waste of your energy. I think that there are a lot of milestones that are worth celebrating. 100K is one of the biggest ones. It's like your kid reaching double digits.

Certain birthdays matter in your life. Others are just birthdays. and obviously, you know... I hit 160,000 the other day. That was a day. For days or... No. Pounds.

Miles. No. That's a big accomplishment. I'm not far from that, though, Omar. When you hit 160,000 pounds, you better believe that will be an accomplishment. I'd change it to kilos

at that point. We will celebrate for you. Lots to get into this hour. As we mentioned, you'll have a chance to see this band, so keep listening to K-Rock in the morning.

You're going to have to check those live on the air. It's very exciting. I just got some... You want me to share it on the air? Some medical test results. Well, I mean, you may not want to share everything, but what did you do? You had to do STD tests?

Oh, my God. Everything you could possibly imagine. When you get pregnant and then you have to go get your first set of labs, the guy, as soon as I gave him my number and said, hey, I'm here for the labs, he printed out so many little pieces of paper. He took out the urine cup. He took out a swab, which I had never seen before, and said, you have to put this up yourself and swab yourself for an STD test, which I've never had to do before.

Why did you have to do that? I'm going to give myself my own vaginal swab. Why did you have to do that? They want to make sure I don't have syphilis and gonorrhea. I guess it affects the baby somehow. But you didn't have to do it the first time? I think that they did it the first time. I think there's this weird DIY trend with medical stuff now where they're like, you can do this.

I'm like, no. I will say this. You swab me. The medical community, I blame like the peptides and the GLPs for this. They just assume that we're all qualified to be jabbing ourselves constantly. Yeah, I don't want to be swabbing myself. and they're sending you stuff in the mail and they're going, hey, go ahead and poop in this bag

and send it back. I think it's a disgusting factor. It's like anything that has to do with them getting grossed out. For example, the poop stuff. They don't want to touch that. Or right, the Allie thing. Yeah, I was busy in there too.

I went and did the urine sample and then I put the cup and there were like six other cups. I was like, ugh. Someone even forgot to put the lid on their cup. Allie claims the last time she was swabbed It was a nine-foot swab, so they could stand that far away from her. They didn't want to get close, so they just decided it's easier just to send it to her. It's just an extremely long cotton swab.

They kept taping them together so they could stay far away. He's a loudspeaker to communicate. So you got tested for everything, so what you just got. Oh, and then I got drained. Look at my big-ass bruise on my arm. Oh, man. They took, like, a gallon out. They have to test all this stuff.

So what did you get the results for just now? What just came through? So I just got, let's see. I got a crop. I've got my blood count. I've got my HIV. I've got my gonorrhea and syphilis, hepatitis B. You have all that?

You've got all of that? I have it all, yeah. And hep C. Oh, yeah. That is a terrible report. And then my glucose tolerance, which is if I have diabetes. So I had to, when I got there, they gave me this sugar water. They said, sit down and drink this within five minutes and then sit here for an hour.

You know what's wild is that you're going through all these tests and I get it and it's, you know, it's important. And then there's kids being born in third world countries every goddamn day. Who never did one blood test. One of these tests. Now, sure, a mosquito's probably going to eat them, and they're going to die, and that sucks. But the reality is, Allie, most of this stuff is an unnecessary thing. Inconvenience, because I was there most of the afternoon. But they want to make sure everything's on the up and up,

and it's probably because you're doing that weird-ass thing where you put your wife's egg inside of your womb, and it's experimental. They said every pregnancy has to do this, which I feel like they just kind of tell you. This is how that movie Splice started. All right, you want to see if I have HIV? You want to play Spets, guys? Here we go. Vanessa, what do you think?

You're usually right about these things. No HIV. Thanks for that drop. I want you to say yes or no for all these. Totally, totally. That's the only reason I asked her. Damn! For HIV 1 and 2, AB and 1, there's all these different variants.

I am non-reactive. Yeah, that's so weird. Which I think means I don't have it. Non-reactive? Yeah. That means like you have it, but you're not showing symptoms. Why don't they just say no have? Yeah, no.

No have. It's a no. No. All right. So I guess congratulations. Thank you. You're non-reactive. Then we move on to gonorrhea and syphilis.

Definitely you have some of that. Non-reactive. Whoa. Hey-o. That was non-reactive. Do I have the hep B? Non-reactive. What's the margin of error on these tests?

I don't think there's much error, right? I mean, they took my blood and it's not in there. Oh, this was all through the blood. This wasn't through the swab? No, I didn't have to swab every time. Oh, okay. I thought there was a lot of swabbing going on. There's just so much swabbing.

Cleaning the bottom of a boat with that one. And then finally, Hep C, boom, non-reactive. You know, there is one that I'm hoping is positive. I'm really hoping, guys, that I have toxoplasmosis. Why is that? Because if I do already have toxoplasmosis, I can eat sushi. Oh, really? Because I already have it.

Because the risk of me getting it while I'm pregnant is bad. So that's why they say stay away from sushi. that's why they say um don't do gardening the rare steak all that stuff is toxoplasmosis but if i already have it you have toxoplasmosis then i don't have to worry about it rare steak and sushi so i've already got it why can't we give it to you i could probably get it we could probably get it you get you like you know i have to find i took a test for it so that's the result i'm hoping for if i have positive toxoplasmosis then open the floodgates baby you want reactive on that oh yeah i want real reactive and you can get it when you're around cats which i've been around

cats constantly you can get it through rat feces i'm sure i've got rat or cat feces all over the all day baby imagine that form you filled out you're checking yes for everything they're going man this woman is the breeding ground for toxoplasmosis yeah so we and you can get it from cat scratches all kinds of stuff related to cats so fingers crossed baby you're waiting for ali to reveal the results of all of her std testing there you have some by the way a lot of people pointing out you didn't mention the herp uh thing which i didn't have to test for that yeah no kidding How do we know? Because of my prescription.

Right. Theoretically. Got to take a break. When we get back, we're in the month of July now, which is crazy because we're halfway through the year of 2026, or over halfway through the year. We made a bunch of predictions going into this year. And I think it's a worthy time for us to check on some of these predictions as to things that we thought would be either big trends this year or people that we thought would be making comebacks. Outfits, I believe. It's been six months since we did that.

So we're going to see how any of us are doing at this point in our 2026 predictions. And then we will give you the access you've been waiting for. And that is your tickets to go to Santa Monica and see all them bands on the beach. And hopefully you've been paying attention to today's show. We'll come back with all that and more next. Hopefully you've been paying attention to the show today. You'll have a chance to call in moments and participate in the Klein Alley Shoshinway Quiz. This is a chance for you to go to the Ocean Way Festival happening in Santa Monica with Sublime and Jack White and the Killers and many others.

And you'll have your chance coming up if you've been paying attention to today's show. That would be your cue to call in about five minutes. Allie, we only have 162 days left of this year, which means we are over halfway done. And July 1st is the midway point, and now here we are heading towards the end of July. That was your half birthday. Thank you. My half birthday. And by the way, you guys all made fun of me because you said no one celebrates half birthdays.

I recently went into a Chipotle, and I had an unused, on my phone, unused half-birthday free soda. Didn't even know they did that. I can't believe they do that. Every day is a free soda day if you just ask for a water cup there. But regardless, I had a half-birthday free soda. But you didn't even take advantage of it, right? No, I didn't, because I didn't know that they did it, because you guys convinced me that no one cares about half-birthdays. I'll tell you who cares.

Chipotle cares. That's who cares. Anyway, I had to spend $5 to take advantage of that free soda, which I never did. We all made predictions at the end of last year. as to things that we would experience a lot in 2026. And it's interesting now as we're halfway through the year to see if any of us were right. One person was very right about something they predicted.

In the category of food, Jake predicted that we would have mushroom-infused everything. Well, he's not super wrong. Yeah, not wrong. I mean, that was kind of starting already. I do know that recently I've gone to a few, like, just regular coffee shop. You have a lot of different mushroom things.

I've been taking a lot of mushroom, but not food mushroom stuff. Like, I've been taking the mushrooms that make me trip. Magic mushrooms. Magic mushrooms. But Jake's talking about, like, a lot of times you go to a coffee place now, and they're like, do you want Lion's Mane or Ashwagandha or something else, some other type of mushroom. It's not a mushroom, I know, but I don't want to get caught up in what's a mushroom and what's not. But nobody guessed protein, and that's the biggest food craze this year.

Right, no one said protein. I did say junctional food, which is kind of like protein. Well, I will give you the point on that because everything has, like, the fact that there's protein ice cream, I feel like that is a junctional food. There's, like, protein Pringles. So it's like all of the junk food. Protein Doritos? Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. My prediction was that we would take all of our favorite junk foods and figure out a way to, quote, feel less guilty about them being junk because we just say.

But also, I don't think they're healthy. No, they're not. No, they're definitely not. They're definitely not. They're super processed. Yeah, it's a myth that you just feel better because you're like, I know I just ate an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, but also it was 57 grams of protein. So I feel like I did something right. So I got muscle retention.

So that was my pick. Johnny thought everything would be in Lunchable style. Lunchables are going to make a big year this year. Not really. Ali said collagen on everything, which I do see that, but not as much. And Vanessa said homemade. Everyone's going to be bragging about making homemade stuff. It's not going to be about going out.

It's going to be about making stuff and posting the recipe on TikTok, whatever. I don't think that really is happening. Omar said everything would be smaller because of half portions. Everyone's on Ozempic and GLPs. Which is kind of true as well. That is happening. But they never kind of marketed it that way, though. You're right.

They didn't market it the way they should have, but I do see a lot of places now. are offering, like, what I would call, like, snack-sized meals, which I think is what they're saying. I mean, what they need to do is convert every kid's menu to an adult version of the kid's menu. Right. Because the amount of people I know that would like to order off of a kid's menu or secretly do, it's a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. By the way, like, I have ordered the Happy Meal. I've said this before. We'll pretend I'm having a conversation with kids in the back of my car that are not there because I want a Happy Meal. But that's because it's just all I want. I have no self-control.

So I know if I only get six chicken nuggets and a small fries and a small soda and a little toy to play with. I know that that's all I need. Do you stop by a fast food place every day? Not every day. No, but if I am driving and having a craving, I also know if I order the 20-piece nugget, which is what I would get,

I would eat all of them. But if you have five, it's like a snack. I'll tell myself, oh, you get to 20, eat five now, save the rest for later. And I won't, I'll eat all 20. Well, and they're never as good when you wait. So anyway, in the category of comebacks,

this is where I think we had our biggest win. Allie made a prediction that we all made fun of for her at the time, and that was the comeback of the Macarena. And I believe the last six months have probably been the biggest six months in the history of the song, the Macarena. Absolutely. I don't know where it came from. World Cup, World Series, NBA Finals.

I mean, there's not an event that has happened that the Macarena. Weddings, dance classes. People are tipping us off constantly going like, guys, they're doing the Macarena at the Masters. We're like, what? The Macarena has had a crazy resurgence. All the white people dancing at the Masters for the Macarena. That's probably epic.

Only white. No one other than white people have ever danced to the Macarena. Let's be honest. No, Omar, you've also played at a lot of your gigs. Absolutely. And then I wanted to, you know, kind of film it because I thought I was going to fail. And it was a hit. Yep.

Johnny, it's funny. One of the gigs Omar was paid for, he goes, I'm going to watch this fail. I'm going to intentionally wreck this. I'm going to ruin this. Just to prove Ali wrong. Ali's fat face. And it still does well. And hit at the quinceanera.

So Johnny predicted it was going to be a big comeback year for Hilary Duff. And it kind of has been. It definitely has been, dude. She's on a sick one right now, man. Wasn't that the concert people were fighting at, like brawling at or something? At the forum, yeah. They were throwing hands. And she was in the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Yeah, that's good. It was one of the covers. Yeah, Johnny, that's a good pick right there, that comeback. Thank you. Omar said board games were going to have a big year as people were trying to unplug a little bit. I don't know if that's been happening. I don't know. Jake said planking or owling, which was a terrible prediction, has not been happening anywhere.

Is that over yet? You predicted them. I thought flash mobs were going to come back. I was wrong about that. That's a great prediction, though. If you had been right, that would have been amazing. Well, because last year was all about smash and grab. That was the big mobs.

And I thought maybe we'll switch it and make it positive again. But Esa also guessed about Britney Spears. And I think she has had a bit of a comeback. In what way? No, it wasn't a real one. I mean, she got arrested. Not a musical comeback. A legal comeback.

back. What about those knife videos didn't do her any favors? I know, but she's in the news again all the time. Her Instagram's popping off, but not in real life. In the category of relationship trends, Jake predicted the popular trend would be not being in relationships. Jake has been

good at that one. He's been pretty good at that. Vanessa predicted it would be group date activities. It would be more group date running club stuff. I think that is happening. It's happening, but that's been kind of happening. Omar said more couples will be joining OnlyFans together as a way to make an additional RevSource And you do see stories about these couples that both had, you know, whatever mid jobs they didn't love and they weren't doing great.

And then they started doing OnlyFans and then they become like millionaires in there. Yeah, sure. They're having sex anyway. People might as well watch. Probably having more sex now. It's maybe not fun anymore. It's a business, but still impressive. I said AI side piece.

This was going to be the year of the AI side piece. Well, you've done that. Yeah. And a bunch of people, even China, they just passed the law. You can't date AI anymore because everybody was doing it. Yeah. that's how big it got but it's not a side piece it's the main piece

well that's what happens they're so fun so agreeable so I still think it's great I don't know I'll tell you the next thing I've done another thing I've gone a deeper level what are you doing now I'm not going to get into it now but I'll talk about it during an hour my wife's not listening oh joy

maybe I'll talk about it in the podcast it's amazing gross so why can't you just are you insatiable Are you having sex with your wife, like, every day while your kids are out of town? Vanessa, what did a client write in his email the other day that you were grossed out about and didn't want to know about? I didn't write anything in my email. Yes, you did.

Vanessa, what did he say? I didn't write anything in my email. Oh, man, I can't recall, but it was probably gross. Why would it probably be gross? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do know what you said. It would be weird for me to say it, but he basically said he's been empty every day because he's doing it a lot. That's not what I said.

I didn't say that. You said something about empty. Yeah, you did say that because I saw the email and I was like, see, this is why I don't read the emails because I don't need to be knowing about that stuff. I know, too much information. I said that. You were going to run out. I think I'm going to run out of my supply. But I think before that you said you were going to turn your wife into a balloon animal.

No, I told my, okay, I told my kids. Can you elaborate on that? What does that mean? My kids were leaving to go to a camp for a week and they said, what are you going to do when we're gone? And I said, I'm turning mommy into a balloon animal. They don't know what it means. My wife knew what it meant. Why do you even share that with your kids?

It's so gross. They don't know what it means. I know what you know what it means. I know what it means. So you're making a sex joke to your kids. It's not a sex joke. It is a sex joke. I'm telling my wife what she had to look forward to for a week, which was being bent all over.

So you're making a sex joke knowing that to your kids. No, it's not to my kids because they don't know it, Allie. Yes, but you know that you're making a sex joke and you're making it to your kids in front of your wife. I'm making it to my wife through my kids. Does that sound better? Yes, it does. Because I didn't realize she would then go... I think it was so creepy.

But then she repeated it to a bunch of other people and said, my daddy says he's turning my mommy into a balloon animal. And that was... And they got it. They got it. That's funny. That's funny. I predicted, as Allie predicted, that the people would be waiting for the right person.

I thought they'd be waiting for sex, yeah. And Johnny said his prediction was that couples would get fat together. I think that's the opposite. that I think couples are working out more than ever. I agree. I think it's sadly gone the wrong way. So these were our predictions. Six months, and we'll have to check them again

at the end of the year and see if any of us were right. All right, if you'd like to go to a festival and you've been listening to all of this meandering that's been happening on the show today, four hours of filibustering is what we call it around here, give us a call right now if you're able to successfully answer some questions about today's show.

And we covered a lot of ground. What band was in studio could be a question. what uh movie did moist joyce take us through with her sound effects i don't know we'll get to the questions next and give your tickets away after royal artist k-rock that's a good point on the text line i should share this with you i probably shouldn't share this with you but uh why wake up early and listen to your entire show when i could just stick around and try to win tickets from sluggo and every hour afterwards on the radio well ah you figured it out you made a good point you don't have to listen to any of our show you can just keep listening to k-rock and win

tickets but if you're up early and there's not a lot of people that commit to this so your chances are pretty good. It's time for the Klein Alley Shoshin Way Quiz. The Klein Alley Show Quiz. That's funny. I don't have please, I have ants.

You never call. I'm with you Hitler. Bye call. We'll start with Candice, make our way up and down the phones until someone can get three in a row right all about today's show. Good morning Candice. What's up? Good morning. Where are you calling from?

San Dimas Ah, San Dimas High School Football Rules How long have you been listening? I've been here since the crack of dawn 6am Jesus, alright, you've been taking notes or are you just going to go with your old memory on this one? Listen, I have way too many notes

Okay, read me a note at random Do you have in your notes? Uh The most valued friend is Honesty I may have been from yesterday Wow, so you've been listening?

Yeah, but that she's been listening since then. I told you. Yeah, my brother was six. Okay, here we go. Listen closely now. This is three questions. You get them all in a row right, you win your way into the festival. Question number one.

What sound is this? That's Cyclops. Squeal! Squeal! Hold on, I have it in my notes. Stand by. Oh, she's got to go through her notes for that. Moist choice.

That's Moist Choice. That is Moist Choice. And what is she doing right there? She's reviewing the movie Odyssey. That is correct. Good job. Yeah. Well done.

You got one question right. That is Moist Choice. No one needs to go see the movie now because Moist Choice recreated the movie with sound effects. And that was Cyclops squealing. And, well, anyway, it was very exciting. We'd like to get Christopher Nolan booked on the show, Vanessa, so we can play him this and see if he agrees. He would have redone it. made all right question number two uh if you get the second one right that means you are on your

way you still gotta get three to win and once again for everyone who's on hold right now stay there this woman could crumble under the pressure uh we spoke to ali's unborn son earlier today or daughter we don't know the gender yet but inside of ali's womb and uh they said that there's a part of the show they like a lot because it allows them to fall asleep and nap during that part of the show what part of the show does ali's unborn child say they like to fall asleep during um adhd news ah okay let's find out if you're right i hope my mommy is about to do the news again so i can take a nap what a bore fest well that is correct and the kid is correct both of those are correct so you've gotten two right now and it comes down to this final question

If you're wrong, we start all over with someone else. We could talk about Cage the Elephant in studio today and some of the things they discussed. But we did have NBA superstar LeBron James join us multiple times this morning with the big announcement people were waiting for. What was one of the announcements LeBron James made on our show? Stand by. Stand by. Talk about bore fest. Am I right?

Don't turn this on her. Hershey's the caller. The answer. Don't have notes on that one. I'm going to go to someone else. LeBron James made two different announcements today. Not which team he was going to, but he did make two different announcements. What was one of the announcements made by LeBron James?

Oh, no. In three. In two. How about torture time? No, I'm so sorry. Your round comes to an end. Oh, no. And we have to start fresh with someone else now.

Same question. And we go to Matt in Garden Grove. Matt, good morning. Good morning. LeBron James joined us this morning to make some announcements. What was one of the announcements that LeBron James made on our show? One of the announcements was that he has never been intimate with Jake. Okay.

Let's find out if that is correct. And if it is, then you are one down, two more to go. After careful consideration, I have decided that I'm ready to announce that I, too, have never been intimate with Jake. All right, that is a correct answer. And we move on to your next question now. We had a band in studio by the name of Cage the Elephant. They claimed that while growing up, their father took pliers out and destroyed a cassette and a CD from which band? Green Day.

That is the correct answer. They were not allowed to listen to the devil's music. Their Green Day stuff was destroyed by their father. You get this next question right, and you are going to the show. This is very exciting. It's the Klein Alley Show Quiz to prove you've been paying attention to the show. Your next question. Alley revealed some medical news on the show today.

What medical news did Alley reveal? One piece. There's been quite a bit. that she is non-reactive to a multitude of different STDs. Yes. That's right, Matt.

That is, Allie, is HIV There are so many STDs I don't have. Negative. You got the verbiage correct. You're going to the beach. Enjoy yourself the time. I feel bad for our first contestant who's been up listening all for nothing, but hopefully

you were entertained at least a little bit and you'll be enjoying yourself, Ocean Way Festival. Hold on, all right? All right, thank you so much. Thanks for waking up and listening. Will you listen this long tomorrow again or not really? Probably until like 7.30. Okay, appreciate the honesty.

Thank you. Hey, I like the honesty, though. Give the guy credit. Takeaways from today's show. Let me get the hell out of here. We do a bonus podcast for you. Takeaways, what do we got on the text line? Okay, 562, my takeaway is it's always catcher in the rye.

Always. 7-1-4, when it comes down to Harvest Rants or Asian, Klein always will take the Asian. Mm-hmm. 8-1-8, textbook rooms don't get many woos. They sure don't. 8-1-8, happy Cars anniversary. Mm-hmm. 3-1-0, Vanessa chooses Mediterranean.

3-1-0, Jake likes dating Burbansians. He sure does. And 6-5-0, my takeaway is it's torture time. Torture time. I feel so bad for that first contestant because she thought we'd have a torture time

question on the ready and she yelled out torture time that's actually what we're going to start calling our podcast forget about this Klein Alley Show

overtime stuff an hour of torture time will be coming your way soon what's your takeaway from today's show Vanessa I choose the Asian salad pull that clip

pull that clip you're welcome guys I made her say that Johnny you have a Johnny you have a takeaway Happy Ozzy Day to my buddy Ozzy That's right Johnny's buddy Ozzy Osbourne That's his buddy

Happy Ozzy Day Allie take away Yeah my take away is 3 fourths of a cup does not equal 12 cups Not in my kitchen Jake you have a take away Yeah I want to touch her with a 9 foot swab Very funny

Alright we'll do it tomorrow and try to do it better We're way behind so we're just going to go right into a break right now Thanks for putting up with us If you need us in the meantime Goatline 844-956-GOAT Download the podcast. Find us on YouTube. Goodbye.

No need to clap, but I will for us. This episode of Klein Alley Show has officially come to an end. And now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends. If you've ever wanted to see what we look like, I question your decisions. But we are available for your viewing pleasure at KROQ's YouTube. And we even hired a guy to run the YouTube live stream. So for the sake of Justin's job, you should watch it.

Yeah, if Justin gets fired. And by the way, he's a ginger, so I think it's racist if you fire him. Regardless, check out our show. It's on YouTube. Every single morning you can watch us live. Of course, we love it when you listen on the radio, like the good Lord intended. But also, watch the YouTube after the fact. You can also follow along on the socials, Klein Alley Show.

There's so many ways for you to get involved and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show. If you've ever wanted to see what Jake's nerd hole looks like or the way Johnny thinks during Johnny Doesn't Know or simply the way that Klein looks disgusted when I tell him a sexy story about myself, It's all available on the live stream. See, you can see what that looks like. All right, you can stop. Don't die. Open them to dies.