Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - We're Back, and We're Fat! (FULL SHOW 7/13)

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Klein staycationed in LA, Ally vacationed in Hawaii, & Jake had the worst day of his life. Regardless, we all gained weight over the breath. We covered it all on our first day back. Did you miss us? Don't answer that. What's the most overrated vacation experience? Ally shelled out over $300 for a Luau while on vacation and it ended up being a total letdown. It led to calls about bungee jumping, total eclipses, and other overrated activities Who's the Most/Least fun on the show? We all presented our lists, with Vanessa being voted the most fun and Jake, Ally & Klein all rotated along the bottom. Who tops your list & why? Klein's kid is doing something new and embarrassing at a restaurant where she draws a picture of the server and makes Klein hand the picture to the server. It led to a horrible awkward scenario with an Asian waiter... Plus a few new things added to our to-do-list: blind taste testing high-end water, scoring a penalty kick with no training, and printing the new mockups of our limited edition "I've Never Been Intimate With Jake" T-shirts!

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. Okay, Dinah. The reason to get out of bed.

Got sleep in my eyes. Louds in my head. I need a shot of something to make my motor go. Yes, I do. Yeah. So I turn on the Klein and Alex show. Alex! Give me some Klein and Alex show.

Alex! Give me some Klein and Alex show. Yay! Get your motor running with the Klein and Alex show. I said get your motor running With a Klein and Ellis show Show me your genitals Show me your penis

Queers, yeah It's Klein and Ellis Show 106.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena Los Angeles, Orange County The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles This is the world famous K-Rock Good morning, welcome back to it K-Rock, Klein and Ellis Show

106.7. We're streaming on YouTube right now as well. Back at it again. Thanks for putting up with us while we put some time off for America's 250th birthday. Wouldn't have done it, but had to celebrate the 250th birthday of this fine land of ours. Allie left the mainland and traveled all the way

to a state that we took over forcefully. That's right. So we'll find out all things that happened on her trip to Hawaii and how close she got to the eruption of stepfather Steve. Oh my god. After all that, after talking to my mother, talking about

the room arrangements. She said she was going to take the upstairs. Which room did I get? The one downstairs right next to my mom and Steve. Sharing a wall. Literally sharing a wall. Was there as much banging going on as you were concerned about being in the room next to your mom? You know, I have

industrial strength earplugs at this point. Right. And I made sure that I was asleep whenever they were going to sleep. Sounds like she got industrial strength plug too. Ugh, gross. That's right. That's Steve. That's her third husband.

And that wasn't even the most uncomfortable moment. Perhaps the most uncomfortable moment was when my kids saw him naked in the shower and complimented his penis. Wait, what? And then they just proceeded to tell me about that. What was the compliment? That he had a big one. He said it to his face? He said it to, yeah.

Every penis looks big when you're four. Yeah, but you, I mean, I guess he doesn't see that many of them. But the fact that he gave him that compliment is gross. And the fact that they decided to share that with me over dinner was also gross. You know, it's funny. My daughter, when she saw me naked when she was probably two or three, referred to my penis as a peanut. And I thought it's because she couldn't say the word penis. And so she'd say, Daddy's peanut, Daddy's peanut.

But then I heard her say penis about another penis she saw. And I'm like, why is she calling mine a peanut? What other penis did she see? She sees lots of penises. She's very popular. She goes to the University of Arizona. You're a gym teacher. It's nonstop.

in her world. Anyway, we got lots to get to today other than just genital talk. That'll be 90% of the show, but we'll try to squeeze in some other stuff as well. We're a show with heart

and genitals, but mostly heart, right? Oh, yeah. So if you're new to the show, nice to meet you. My name's Klein. That is Allie right there. Good morning.

That's Jake the Nerd. What's that? Jake the Nerd had what he believes to be the worst day in the history of life, and we will get into that because we all like

to laugh at each other's misery on the show. DJ Omar Khan right there, the audio sniper, and then in the back taking them calls, It's 800-520-1067. You got producer Vanessa recovering from Columbia, getting ousted,

and also recovering from the fact that none of us called to check on her. Literally, none of you checked in on me. It was emotional. We were out, out. You know how I feel about the World Cup. And I was like, these bitches don't care about me. They're not checking in on me. But I'm okay now.

Sounds like it. All right, good. Moving on. And that's Postmaster Johnny. And we got lots to get to today on the show. of Disneyland and Evanescence this weekend. Recently took a bus full of listeners up to Santa Barbara this past weekend to go see some Royal Otis.

So it's been an eventful week, and we'll get into all things that took place. Reward you handsomely, and thank you in advance for checking out the show today. Make it worth your while. Our lives will probably get increasingly worse over the next four hours so that yours can get increasingly better, and that will all start after the killers on KROQ. Good morning. The Rockline Alley Show.

Apparently we're bad friends with each other because we didn't give Vanessa the proper support she needed when her team, her home country of Colombia, was out. But you know what? It's like we're out, too. When Mexico went out and then America went out and then Canada went out. That was a bad couple days. Yeah, it was like, all right, well, I guess we've just all lost interest together now.

Now I just have to care about that duck lip guy from Norway, and now I can't even care about him anymore. Stupid haircut. So anyway, Vanessa, but a lot of people on the GOAT line were calling with their condolences and thinking about you, and I know you didn't hear these messages because we were away, but... Vanessa! Vanessa, I'm so sorry.

I'm calling with my condolences. Columbia's out, baby. Switzerland is in. I'm really sorry. I was truly rooting for them, just for you. I was just thinking about your little happy, smiling face, watching the game and hoping they would win for you. What I'm more disappointed about than Columbia being out

is that Vanessa was invited to go on that terrible James Corden post-soccer show that's so funny hearing them plug that over and over and over again i can't believe vanessa's not on this and vanessa could have been a mainstay she would have been the star of that whole james corden show that is still doing that thing every night just hearing james corden and vanessa interact with each other i would probably pay money yeah the person that was casting that entire show first person they called was vanessa to get her in there in the columbia jersey she could be at every one of those tapings and by the way because of how far columbia made it you would have made some serious money doing that because i think they were paying you per episode they

needed you for and i feel like you would have been there for weeks do you have regrets do you think you should have done it no regrets zero regrets i mean if you think about columbia is a big loser now anyway so at the time you were excited to watch the games with you know other people but didn't you end up watching a lot of those games alone anyway the ones that weren't with my country what no but you watched a columbia game by yourself in a bar i just didn't post the other people around me guys because i like to be a little bit private the reason you said i didn't want to watch it as part of the show is because I want to watch it with my friends

and family. Which I did. You guys just didn't see it on social. No, but there's this one game you said exactly, there was like nobody you could go with, so you just went to a random bar and you just signed it with a bunch of strangers. Yeah, that one. One game I watched by myself. But I ended up making Colombian friends. Oh, you made friends. Yeah, I did.

I was surrounded by Colombians. A lot of people, there's like 40, we're not going to get to all these messages, but people that were thinking about you, that were rooting. I mean, someone even said, I'm American, but I was rooting for Team Colombia just for Vanessa. I know. So I am sorry.

I didn't realize how disappointed you were in all of that. I know. I was also sad about the USA and Mexico. Don't worry about us. I was sad about Mexico because they had had this historic win, you know, after this 40-year drought. Oh, and you never lose that stadium, too. Yeah.

So I don't even know at this point. I know there's, what, four teams left now? Yeah. Before this long national nightmare is over? It's all over on Sunday. It's over for me. I think there's probably only one team I could mention of the four that are left. There's only one team I know.

Oh, really? It's the guy that looks like me. Argentina, Messi? Yeah, Messi. Messi. I think France is still in it, right? Yes. France is still in it?

France, Spain. I think so. Oh, Spain's alive? Yeah. England, I think. England and Argentina. Okay. That's fine.

And the guy that I look like is Messi. And you guys said that I don't look like Messi. I just am Messi. Yeah, I don't think you look like him. Well, this is where you'd be wrong yet again. I'm watching Tubi, and I see a random ad of some soccer dudes, and I'm like, what the hell is that, Klein? So I have to look up who this dude is, and it turns out it's Lionel Messi.

And you guys talk about that, and you all say he doesn't. Klein totally looks like that guy. A Kmart brand for sure, but he totally looks like Lionel Messi. He's all trippy. Four people at different places over the break came up to me and said, not even, no joke. No way. Oh, sorry.

Oh, I thought you were... Did anyone ever tell you you look like Messi? Four different places. Grocery store. Okay, well, those people have personal problems. No. If I get one of those jerseys... Maybe a few noses ago.

If I get a Argent... What's the... Is that the blue and white striped one? Yeah. You get me one of those shirts. I'll walk around in that. I probably won't pay for anything. Try it.

I feel like people... Well, obviously, he's got games to play, but they would think I would be playing, but I think I could maybe pass for Messi walking around in that jersey. If you wore that jersey and just had a soccer ball with you, do you just walk it around? Because he probably just walks around with a soccer ball, right? Probably, yeah. I mean, that's just what they do. So if you did that and went to a bar and somebody walked up to you and asked for an autograph,

I would take that bet. I don't think it'll happen. You don't think so? No. What if I put a table that said, meet Messi, and I sat at a table? And eight wings. Yeah, babe. And I sat at the table.

Hi, I'm Messi. I'll sign your napkin Messier We take a break If you want Allie's money Call now and claim it 800-520-1067 She's got 100 bucks

That money could be yours No joke I'm sure you've heard this before You've never actually called Because you figured What's the point But now is the point It's a brand new week

Allie is feeling jet lag Sleep deprived Pregnancy brain And all that other stuff So if you want her money Now's a good time to claim it Five questions about the news You'll learn

And you'll earn 100 bucks after this On KROQ Ali was just saying off the air, I have no chance of winning today. I am so unaware of what's been happening in the world. That's what happens when you go away for a little bit and it's a holiday. Sometimes you have no idea what's going on. So if you want Ali's money, now would be a great time to call because she has literally just said she has no chance of winning.

I made a point to not know what was going on for the past week. And then when I tried to get caught up this morning, it was like, there's no deal in Iran. Gas prices are going up. I was like, oh, so everything's the same. So if you want the easy $100, some days are tougher than others. Now would be a great time to call us now at 800-520-1067. I have five questions here, all technically about things happening in the news. And if you beat Allie, and she is very beatable, and you have no problem beating and taking the money from a pregnant woman,

then this is the exact time you should call and claim that. Of course, you get invited back to the Allie Knows the News Tournament of Champions, bragging rights for life, and that sweet $100 that we don't take taxes out of, so that's yours, and actual three digits of cash coming your way. It's extra nice of me to eliminate the taxes. That's right. I don't want to give that money to the man. Originally, they were going to have to make it the whole thing.

And then Ali's like, I'll just send them gift cards. That's easy. Gift cards. Bitcoin or gift cards. The way every legitimate transaction goes. Every morning around this time, chance to play, chance to win. And we'll pick up someone in a moment and get into the game. And then, of course, later this morning, your Disneyland tickets will be coming up as well as access to go see Evanescence this weekend.

Back at the Kia Forum. And as you know from Johnny, we are officially now in the greatest time of the year. jason cue the helicopter that's right he will be reporting live from the jason chopper later this morning about all the fun events that you can look forward to july august september october november what he believes to be the greatest stretch of months they don't get necessarily the glory of some of the other months they don't get the holiday season stuff like that but he said this is when you get the best events and the best shows especially in southern california yeah so of course you know people are having less fun than ever that's the new study but

But if there's Jason on the horizon, Johnny's going to make sure you do have a good time. So we'll check to the friendly skies a little bit later and do some Jason. Right now, though, let's say hi to John in Fullerton who would like Allie's cash. Good morning, John. Good morning, Sweet Divots. Sweet Divots to you and yours, and thanks for putting up with us. Good to be back at it again. Allie will leave the K-Rock studios once she's out of here.

Allie, you're putting it on a little bit, huh? Allie looks a little bigger. Allie, get that dump truck ready. Allie's pregnant. You're showing. Man. I shouldn't have liked that last comment I made, but the first comment. Stupid baby.

We'll be playing by the pound today. Your round starts right now. Here we go. Ali knows the news. Drake has lost $1 million after betting on what fragile fighter? Conor McGregor. Conor McGregor. Question number two.

$43 million flop is what it's being called. In fact, the expectation was that this movie was going to bring in $140 million its opening weekend. So it only fell $100 million less than forecasted. Which movie was the $43 million flop? Moana 2. Go to question number three. DoorDash has just released which city is the cheapest in America to get a cheeseburger, fries, and soda. And hint, it's not Los Angeles.

Where is the cheapest place in the country, according to a new DoorDash study out today? Let's go where? Wichita. Wichita. Affordable and fun to say. We go to question number four. This Jurassic Park actor sadly has died at the age of 78,

but that's okay. We can probably bring him back using mosquitoes. Got it. Just saw it, too. I can't even remember the guy's name. What a tribute. Let's go Dan Akron. And we've got a final question, question number five.

A man, a video of a man destroying what at an intersection in Hollywood is getting some attention? What was this man destroying? Cameras. Cameras. All right. We'll bring in Ali to score together some of the stuff that's going on. I know we did not talk about World Cup or international relations or politics or Mitch McConnell recovering from some weird illness. But we did cover some of the other news.

And the rest of it you'll pick up at the end of the hour when Allie does the ADD news right here on KROQ. Allie, here we go. Say nothing else. Drake has lost $1 million after betting on what fragile fighter? Oh, Conor McGregor. He also said Conor McGregor. And I'm not sure if this is accurate, but I do believe this is the second Conor McGregor fight in a row. and he doesn't fight that often anymore

where his leg does some weird bendy thing right out of the gate and then he can't fight anymore. I think a lot of people were making fun of him, right? Yeah, it's the first time I think he immediately kicked someone and his foot just broke in half.

That was like the last, but then he came back and this was like return fight, I guess. And this time he kicked the air and his foot fell apart as well. It's wild. God hates him. I mean, I'm sure he could probably

beat me in a fight, I would guess, but still, it's funny. I don't know. I don't know anymore. Yeah, maybe if I keep getting swole. And also, when will Drake stop betting? He's not good at it. Listen, I get it.

If you have a degenerate, you know. Yeah, but I feel like every week or month I hear about Drake losing millions or thousands of dollars out of bets. But the best part about a guy like that or Bruno Mars or any of these other guys is that whenever they're down so much money, they just plan another tour. They're like, let's just go on tour again. That'll cover our losses. Think of how many millions of extra dollars you would have if you just stopped betting. I know, but it's the adrenaline rush. You don't get it.

We go to question number two. Tied up 1-1. Question two. A $43 million flop is what they're calling it. Is that Drake's bet? That's Drake's bet. Another bet. A secondary bet.

They were expecting $140 million for what movie that only brought in $43 million? Yes, that was the new live-action Moana movie. All that money they spent on Dwayne the Rock Johnson's wig. And for what? For what reason? Nobody wants to see him with hair. So that is correct as well. Both of you on the board again.

You got that right. Two, two after two. We got a close one. We got a question number three. DoorDash has just declared that this city is the cheapest in America to get a burger, cheeseburger, fries, and a drink. And, hint, it's cheaper than L.A. This is the cheapest city?

They say this is the cheapest city. They ran the numbers. If you want to get cheeseburger, fries, and a drink, this is the city you want to order it in. It's probably some city in Alabama. Some city in Alabama. He said Wichita. Correct answer, Austin, Texas.

What? That's what they said according to their new research out there. So worth the travel just to get yourself that cheap cheeseburger, fries, and drink. We go to question number four. Sadly, this Jurassic Park actor has died at the age of 78. But that's okay. We can probably bring him back with mosquitoes. Yeah.

Sam Neill. He could not remember his name, so he just said Dan Aykroyd. So that is wrong. Allie got it right. It is Sam Neill. And now Allie goes up one with one final question. There's a video out now of a man destroying what at an intersection in Hollywood? It's getting a lot of buzz.

A Waymo? Ah, he said cameras, but the correct answer is you must include violence in Waymos, and this man was dismantling a Waymo, and that is the correct answer. So, John, you put in a valiant effort, and I know Allie claims she would probably lose today, but she did beat you by two. What must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. This is John from Bullard Fan, and Allie, that's the news.

All right, there you have it. Thank you for that. The streak is alive for now. For now, but tomorrow morning around this same time, take Allie's money. We double dog dare you to take Allie's money. You can. We will get into something that I'm dealing with that is very uncomfortable, and that is next on K-Rock.

This is a bad situation. I mean, and I blame myself for getting in this situation, but now I'm in pretty deep, and so there's no right answer. I mean, I'll just go into it by saying I know there's not, like, a solution. Is this about your neck again? Not about my neck. Because you're right. There is no solution.

Not about my neck. Although— I feel like it got bigger. A lot of comments about it. I got bigger and so did you. A lot of, I think Allie and I could be going pound for pound during this entire, while you get pregnant. How many pounds have you put on since you got pregnant? Six.

I am destroying you. Right now, I'm way in the lead. I put on like 20 pounds. Well, you've put on 20 pounds, though, since you've had a longer period of time to gain weight. Yeah, but most of it, I didn't think it would all go to my neck. I thought it spread itself out a little bit. Do you think over the last nine weeks? I think I put on 20 pounds of neck weight.

I do. I really do. I mean, that shirt is just struggling. Everything is struggling. I don't know what's happening. Just stop. I know. Someone wrote me like a real heartfelt message on the Instagram over the break.

And they were like, all kidding aside, because there was a lot of comments about my, I posted some picture of me and Will Ferrell at this thing I was at. And everyone's like, all kidding aside, you know, there's a lot of neck comments. I can't see Will over your neck. Yeah, yeah. And da, da, da, da, da. Netflix. I was at an event for Netflix and someone kept calling it Netflix.

Anyway, you guys are very funny. And then someone said, all kidding aside, this is whatever is happening to you. It's weird and stop it immediately and you look like you're about to explode. Yeah, it's strange looking. You look like you're in front of another plant. I'm going to cut back. I'm going to cut back on all the protein. It's too much.

It's too much. I agree, it's too much. Or just stop working out for like a week. Just take a week off. I'd love to. Listen, I'm planning on letting myself go again. And I've been, once again, I fell in love with pizza again this past week and it was way too much of that. So, it's just a perfect storm of bad.

Okay, but this has nothing to do with your neck. This has nothing to do with my neck. Well, everything kind of has to do with my neck these days. It all comes back to the neck. There's a restaurant near where I live. And like a lot of restaurants, if you show up with kids, they just give you a bunch of crayons. And they say, have at it. Here's a paper place mat.

Have at it. There's always four. Four crayons. Four crayons. Sometimes they're all different shades of the same stupid color. There's nothing the kids really want there, but it keeps them busy still. So word search in a maze. And I'm actually surprised at the power of crayons.

They're not in good shape, but for some reason they still keep the kids occupied at least a little bit. They'll tic-tac-toe a little bit. They'll do some doodling. Sometimes they'll color in some stuff. Keeps them busy for, I don't know, five to seven minutes maybe. My youngest kid, Bruiser, has got this new thing she's been doing now. And this has happened at the same restaurant about four times. where she will start drawing a picture of the waiter.

Whoever the waiter or waitress is, she will draw them on her placement. Yeah, but is it like, I mean, how old is she? Is it like stick figures? No, no, no. I mean, she's putting some, like, things that you can tell. Like, she'll redraw if they're wearing a shirt that has something on it, she'll draw the shirt they're wearing. And then she gets shy, and she wants to give them the picture,

but she doesn't want to hand it to them, so she's to ask me to hand them the picture and also not say that she drew it. Really? So the first time, I just assumed the person would realize I'm not sitting here with crayons drawing them and handing them a picture. So she handed me the placemat. She goes, can you hand it to the waiter?

I said, absolutely. So the meal came to an end. I said, thanks for everything. Here's a picture of you, and I handed it to the guy. And you say this is you? I just said, here's a picture of you, and he unfolded the placemat, and he goes, oh, that does look like me. Thank you.

Does he think he's getting hit on? I don't know, Allie. I don't know because the first time... This is you. I just assumed... And here's me. I assumed the first time that he would realize that I didn't draw this because why would I draw it? But then when we went back the next time, as we're walking in, he said to someone else,

that's the guy that drew the picture of me and points to me. And I'm thinking to myself, he thinks I drew this picture of him? Yeah, because if you did draw the picture, it'd be so much worse. Yeah, but how... It's weird either way, but why would I, a grown-ass man, draw a picture of another man? That's great that he thinks that it was you. So then said to the other guy, and I hear him say this as we're sitting down, hey, that's the guy that drew the picture of me.

We sit back down again, different waiter. Oh, yeah, because he doesn't want to go to you again. They've probably drawn straws back in the kitchen. I'd go to that weirdo. Then my kid, same thing, flips the placemat over, starts drawing the waitress this time. okay and and she says this you probably would she drew huge gazungas i handed right back this is you she uh she says to me uh dad can you ask for more crayons and give us good crayon colors and now she's very shy talking to the waiter so i've got to do the middle so i say to the woman hey can i

get some more crayons please she goes absolutely she gives me a bunch of crayons you're the one who's asking then she draws this woman not a flattering picture woman's just not a flattering picture. Woman's what? Woman's woman? Woman's just a normal woman? It's not a flattering picture. I'm just going to put it that way.

Because she's not a flattering... If the woman was a five, the picture is a three. Okay? Uh-huh. Was the woman a five? On a good day. So then, once again, meal comes to an end. Bruiser hands me the picture.

Kids can draw some very offensive things. She doesn't write. There's no... Like, if she's big, she draws her bigger. Well, yeah. They just think of the most generic parts of you and then accentuate them. So she says to me, can you please give her my picture? And I said, I will not.

She got really upset. She goes, why not? You don't think it's good? I said, I think it's great. I think it's great. Let's hang it up at home. And she goes, no, it doesn't make sense at our home. It's a picture of this woman.

And I said, well, why don't you hand it to her then? And she goes, Daddy, please. She gives me the look. And I said, fine. So this time, the woman comes. Here's the bill. Thank you for that. I go, I said, we've done some artwork.

We? Why don't you clarify that this child is the one drawing? At least to a point. Trust me, when I say we did, I do like a we, but I'm like. Like we all worked on this? I said we, but. That's even sadder. The family decided to draw you.

Huge. Here you go. So I said, we did some artwork and this is you. Enjoy it. and the woman looks at it and she can tell she's not happy and she goes

well thank you for that and she closed it and then I took the tip which I had already given 20% and I changed it to 25% because I felt bad about that whole situation

was she crying we go back there on Saturday this is the last time we go back there Saturday how often do you go in this place it's like the kids love it

you can walk to it and Saturday we sit down I'm not going to say if it's CPK or not it's CPK we sit down and we have

an Asian server oh no and she draws a picture yet again because she's not thinking about being mean or she draws a picture. She's just drawing a picture and she draws like literally two lines

for the guy's eyes. And she goes, Daddy, I think this one's my best one yet. And I go, no it is not. And I will not hand this to this person. She goes, why? Did you explain why? I said, yeah, something's, you can't do that. She said, what do you mean you can't? I go,

I go, you can't. Something's off about this one. I go, you can't. Back to the drawing board, kids. You can fat shame the waitress, but you can't. Meanwhile, the kitchen of this place probably has all this artwork. It's a museum of shame. Oh, man.

I said, I can't hand this. Why? Because what you've done here, some people would find that to be insulting. Why is it insulting? Because you didn't draw eyeballs. She's like, yeah, I know, but that's what, you know, it's so innocent the way she's saying it. But I'm going like, I can't hand another piece of art to someone else. that is offensive.

I've done this twice already. You're going to get banned from the restaurant. So she gets really upset about it. I said, if you want to hand it to him, you can hand it to him, but I don't think

you should do that. I said, and I'll give her the credit. She got the balls and I didn't think she would do it, so I didn't really think much of it

and as we're leaving, she just hands the guy the picture and he unfolds it and it's him and he loved it. Does he know that it's him? Yeah, he loved it.

He did? He was showing people. He's like, this is me. That's hilarious. this is offensive and this is me a good thing that

weird guy didn't draw it I'm done with this now you're done with what I'm not going back to that place ever again so you're just gonna go do this to all the other restaurants

no I'm done the crayons are done I'm no longer accepting crayons you have to call ahead to make sure there's no crayons no crayons

I'm a no crayon policy guy now it can't be trusted can you have a bruiser dry alley no I would love to see that I would love to have

a bruiser dry alley yeah why don't you draw you bruiser's been on lately Listen, this is her roasting me, by the way, while we were away. Were you born on the 101? Because a lot of accidents happen there.

That's a lot of accidents. What? She said, we were driving on the 101, and she just says to me, were you born on the 101? Because a lot of accidents happen there. I'm like, wow. That is like, that's a good quality roast. That's a good joke. You know, these are all great skills for just someone who works on the pier.

She's going to be able to draw caricatures and make jokes. I mean, she's got a future. Coming soon to Bubba Gump in Santa Monica, my kid. Quick break, back with more show next. All right, we'll do some news right now on KROQ, and then we will call one of you and send you your Vans Warped Tour in Orlando this November to see Paradox and many other bands. That'll be your time to win, so be ready to call if you want to just win

by sitting around doing nothing. Just wait for the opportunity to call us in about an hour when we give away Disneyland tickets, a four-pack, 9 a.m. sharp, and then again at noon and 3 and 6. We are Klein Alley Show. This is KROQ, and now your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

A couple of unexpected passings over the weekend, one of them being Lindsey Graham, not exactly a universally loved guy, but a very well-known politician, died pretty suddenly from an aortic rupture after he had just gotten back from a visit to the Ukraine. What was weird was seeing that he was dead and that Mitch McConnell was still alive.

A guy who looks like he's been in rigor mortis for years. But on top of that... His post of him saying he's healthy With the Washington Post. I've never looked at a less healthy-looking person. It's a weird post to put up there. If you have to prove that you're still alive. Right, by holding the newspaper.

This is a guy who's been rumored to be dead many, many times. Sometimes in the middle of his own conversations. Yes, he just freezes mid-conversation. But apparently he's okay. He just said he had a fall. And he's up in, I think he's in his mid-80s. But on top of that, you also had a guy who was very loved in the movie world. Sam Neill died.

New Zealand actor. He's from Jurassic Park. He played the paleontologist Alan Grant, who we can all see turning his head to look up at the brontosauruses as these words were spoken in the iconic Jurassic Park film. Okay, Dinah. That was him? That's the first Jurassic Park? That does not hold up. That New Zealand accent is thick. Let me hear that great Sam Neill again. I forgot that line.

No, this is not Sam Neill. This is the guy who, you know, shows them the park. Welcome to Jurassic Park. This is Sam Neill. Come on, Vanessa. He's a good guy. Come say hi now. There he is.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Juicebox, every time I hear it. He doesn't have to say anything. This is just his smolder. Yeah, that's incredible. Looking at all the dinosaurs. I actually rewatched this scene not long ago

because one of the places that we went in Hawaii was like one of the places they filmed Jurassic Park. So you mushed Sam Neill? Yeah, I guess I kind of did. I watched this exact clip two days ago. Did you ride the ATVs? No, no, we didn't do ATVs. No, but we did like walk through this,

I don't know what they call it, an arboretum or a national forest or something. They're like, that's the rock where they filmed Jurassic Park, the iconic helicopter scene where it's coming through and they're landing in Jurassic Park. So you went, let me get this straight. You went to this for the first time ever in your entire life, two days ago, three days ago, whatever it was. Well, I was there probably four or five days ago. Right, so the first time ever they said Jurassic Park. No one's really been talking about Jurassic Park.

You go there, you experience it, and now the star of the movie dies. I was re-watching the clips because I wanted to show my kid. I was like, this is Jurassic Park. It's one of the best movies ever, and I played this scene. And I was like, God, that Sam Neill was great. That's what I thought. I thought he'll live forever. That's the mush factor.

That's the alley mush factor. I think he had just been announced cancer-free, too. He had a lymphoma, and then he was doing great, and he was even at an event a few days beforehand. It seemed like everything was great. He's also in the scariest movie of all time called Event Horizon. Yeah, he also gouged his own eyes out in Event Horizon. I did not show that clip to my kids.

You should. A lot of good and bad flight stories over the break. Here's a bad one that did have a decent ending. A 22-year-old flight student was forced to land a plane by herself after the pilot she was with jumped out of the airplane mid-flight. The frightening incident for a student pilot in Argentina. Forced to land a Cessna 150 during a training exercise after her instructor jumped to his death mid-air. She must be terrible for conversation. I mean, if this guy's in a plane with her and he just decides, I'm going to just open the door and jump.

And it's that yelling conversation because he's got those headphones on. Oh, my God. So anyway, I think I'm going to get another cat. I'm out. 42-year-old Leandro Bertazzo had been working as a flight instructor. The instructor told the student, you know what to do. Then he unbuckled his seatbelt, opened the door, and jumped out of the plane. And she was able to land it.

Yeah, I'll say, like, that is, this guy sadly lost his life. But as far as teachers go, I mean, that is some tactic right there. Well, she even said she thought it was a joke. Like, that would be a flight instructor joke. Like, all right, you know what to do, and then, like, a pretend jump out, and they're like, ah! I mean, listen, Omar's the only guy on our show who's landed a plane by himself. Oh, yeah, hell. But, I mean, still, that's incredible, I mean, to think about that.

That really, well, it's the same thing that the birds do when they're young. They just chuck them out of the nest and go figure it out. I know. They'll fly. And some of them die, but a lot of them live. Then you had this guy who almost died because he got sucked out of a window in the middle of the flight. This happened on a Ryanair flight. Thousands of feet up, shortly after takeoff, a window on that Ryanair plane was blown out.

And we know from a doctor that was treating the man who was sitting in the window seat, who was effectively sucked towards that window, it was only because of his wife sitting next to him who grabbed onto his feet for about five minutes and stopped him from being completely sucked out of that aircraft. Now that's love, that you're willing to hold on to his feet for that long versus just collect the life insurance money. Right. AJ easily is like, oh, my grip.

Oh, no, no, these darn shoes. There was this one, too, Allie, the plane that got hit by fireworks. Yeah, we just had a firework hit a plane, Delta 1076. Roger, Delta 1076, I'm not sure if you'll be able to assess if there's any damage at this time, but can you tell me if you had to, I guess, any further information about the fireworks? So the plane got hit by fireworks, which apparently I would think happens a lot. I feel like they don't go that high, fireworks. I mean, if you're cruising at 35,000 feet, that's so high up in the air.

Landing at some point. Then you had a flight. This is all in this on a good note. A flight that was hit with an incredible rainbow. I just need everybody out here to acknowledge this rainbow because this moment will never happen again in Newark. It's almost a triple rainbow. Whoa.

Good-looking rainbow. It's a solid rainbow. I'm so afraid it's reflecting on the ground. It never happens here. This should be a moment for everybody. What about the planes? I just want to confirm, we are cleared to proceed to Raleigh Gulf. No wonder all these other things are happening in the sky.

I don't want grown-ass men being that excited about a rainbow when they're supposed to be protecting the planes. Well, what's great is you do have a pilot that's like, hey, I need some information here. I just want to confirm, we are cleared to proceed to Raleigh Gulf. Sir. Sir. Play the rainbow and welcome to Newark, Texas. Oh, my God. You guys are just trying to see what's our position here in that show.

I'm just trying to get our position. Just trying to land here. Brand new hour of the show starts now, K-Rock. Here we go. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning. Just after 8 o'clock, it is Monday. We are Klein Alley Show live and back at it again.

If you need us, phone's text line, 800-520-1067. A lot of messages on the GOAT line about a variety of topics while we were away. including this person. Baby, I miss you. Come back. Come back on the air, please. We need you. We miss you.

Mommy, Daddy, please. We're back on the air, as you requested. Other people saying that they didn't mind us not being here. In fact, some enjoyed it. They got to listen to some stuff that they had never heard before, as a matter of fact. Here is another person. Hold on. Is this good or bad?

It's hard to tell anymore. We haven't had a chance to put them in their respective folders. No, no, no. I would assume that. Hey, what's up, guys? Sweet Knockers. Hey, so I totally get that you guys need time off, and you deserve it. You guys are the best.

But here's the deal. I drive around a lot for my job. So I work Tuesday through Saturday. I listen to the show one day late in podcast form, and it keeps me entertained as I drive around. And then I get a week of nothing to listen to but best ofs, which I still do, but they're not nearly as fun because I've listened to every single bit because I listen to every single show.

And I thought I liked my job, and I think I've come to realize that I like my job because I get to listen to your guys' show. And when your guys' show is not new material, I don't really like my job that much. All right, well, sorry you had to learn it that way, but get a new job or we won't take any more time off for the foreseeable future no no and i understand that it's part of the the the grind of it all right you're just on a drive same drive

that you do every single morning we get it we do the same drive every single morning but when you have one thing that you can depend on and then it's not there i get that that's just wait till you hear jake's worst day ever you'll feel much better about your job when you hear about that coming up a little bit later also we have less than an hour to go until we give you some disneyland tickets, so let's get you into Disneyland. Something to look forward to this summer. 210 said, I was listening to educational podcasts while you guys were away. Oh, man.

I'd love to know what your bee content was. You could also still listen to us. Technically, it's stuff you've heard before, but maybe not. It's new to you. No one's got short-term memory anymore. Let's go ahead and call someone right now who's sitting on his standby boarding list after he shared all those great stories about air travel. And let's give someone a flight across the country

as we go ahead and give the good news that someone will be going to the Vans Warped Tour in Orlando, Florida. Who will it be? Big list here of names, all people that qualified last week. We weren't here,

but I guess we were still giving you chances to win stuff. And we are attempting to, hopefully this person answers. If not, it's going to be someone else's day to celebrate. Or maybe they don't want to fly.

This person is going to wake up to a missed call that they're going to be really bummed about. Unless they think going to Florida is a punishment. I could also see people would think that. Everyone I've talked to who's been there seems to think so. Oh, man. Bad news. This person's about to get.

Your call has been called. Oh, sucks to suck, as they say. She could take us to that lady. She answers everyone's calls. Sure does. Never gets the time off. Let's go try someone else now. Down the line.

This is what happens. People say, what are the odds of me actually winning these trips? Well, the odds are great if you call and if you text us. Even better if you answer when you finally get selected off the standby list. So now we are on caller person name number two. And these names have been randomly regenerated for us. I don't blame you. I don't even know what our number comes up as when we call people.

But is it private or possible spam? I feel like it would come up as possible spam, wouldn't it? And this is why. I mean, it's an 800 number. You guys, you give me a hard time because I answer every call I get, regardless if it's definitely. At least, I mean, sometimes. The call has been forwarded to another. There she is again.

There she is again. Different person. All right. Now I'm trying someone on the 714. Let's see if they answer for this trip. Can't give away trips today. Whoever wins this trip, I advise you to not forget your AirPods. Because I forgot my AirPods over the break.

And I was forced to raw dog my flight all the way to my destination and all the way back. Five and a half hour flight. Did you buy some crappy ones on the plane, though? They didn't have them. Because they didn't even have video screens. Oh, man. They just had that little... Oh, hello?

Hi, is this Don? It is. Hey, Don, here's the good news. You are not necessarily technically the winner of this trip to Orlando to see The Paradox, the Vans Warped Tour, because we did try to call multiple other people first, but they didn't answer. So as a result of them not answering, you are the winner. No way.

That is awesome. What did we come up as on your phone, by the way? Was it possible spam? No, it just says Los Angeles, California. Nice. Nice and generic. Generic Los Angeles. All right.

And you answer most generic numbers that call you? I usually don't, but your text message yesterday said, be prepared. So I was prepared. Yeah, all of the finalists get a be prepared. Well, you've been prepared. We send out warning texts. We send out warnings to let everyone know. All right, congratulations.

Hey, here's the good news. Thank you. You are heading to Orlando Vans Warped Tour, The Paradox, and many other bands. And that trip is officially now yours, Don. It's part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. In a moment, Ali will share with us something she got to experience during her trip to Hawaii. It was much more than just her horny stepfather erupting all over her mother. But she got to experience something that I think is oftentimes sold as one of the greatest experiences you could have.

And I believe she found it to be incredibly overrated. And there's lots of things in our lifetime that you think are going to be great. Like I talked to a lot of people that went to World Cup games, very jealous. And they said it was so much better than even they anticipated. Oh, really? Yeah, like, obviously it was expensive, but they were like, once in a lifetime opportunity. And yeah, the tickets were more than I wanted, but it was so amazing. And there are things sometimes that live up, and then there's the opposite.

There's things you think will be great, and then you go experience them, and you go, wow, that was a total letdown. Things that are on your bucket list? Yeah. Like even something simple like skydiving? Right, you do it, you go, I had a guy strapped to my back, and I think he was, like, chubbed up for most of it. I could feel a half-chub of the flight instructor. That was not worth it. I didn't really like that so much.

No, something that I experienced on my trip to Hawaii that I had never experienced before. I think most people do do this when they go to any of the Hawaiian islands. They force you to do it. If you don't do it, you feel like you're missing out. We'll get to that in a moment and hear your stories as well at 805-201-067. Continue to get through some of the many calls that were waiting around for us on the GOAT line as well. Hi, Klein and Allie. Hey, this is Joni from the 925.

And you know how Klein has his waiting slice when he gets a pizza? Well, I go to this taco truck and I order a supreme burrito, but I also get a waiting taco. Love it. It's great. Just a little something, a little sauce on it. If it's going to take them time to make the real thing, you should get the quick thing that can be made instantly and have that while you are waiting around for what you really want. Because you can still slam down the burrito.

Yeah. They'll tell me sometimes it's going to be 10 minutes for a pizza. I go, great, I'll take one of those slices right there and just hand that to me cold. I'll nibble on that while you make my pizza. Don't even put it in the oven. Don't waste my time. Just hand it right to me.

I don't even need a paper. Is that dried cheese? I want that in my mouth. I can eat it in my car before I get home. Anyway, I hope you guys had a great Fourth of July. Love you. Bye. Thank you for the call.

Appreciate you. Back in a moment, things in life that you thought would be great, experienced them, realized, very overrated. Happened to Allie this past week. What happened to you? We'll get your stories. And we'll be back with that after this on KROQ. Overrated experiences.

You thought about them. Maybe you thought about them your whole life. You finally went and did it. You thought, this is what I got to do. And then you experience it and you go, well, that kind of sucked. Yeah, and you've done this experience before. And you kind of warned me about this before we were leaving on our break. Because I said I was going to do it.

I had never done it before. It was pitched by my family. I was on a family vacation. And they said, the whole family is going to do this. Are you in? And I said yes to the luau. which essentially is a big group of white people donning leis and culturally uh culturally appropriating the hawaiian culture while being taught to hula dance by a hawaiian person and

then there's some fire dancing or is there yeah that's one of those things that kind of got the treatment where all the cool things about the luo i think have been slowly phased out well you get a lot like in the pictures on the websites you do see a lot of what you well it What you see is the last two minutes of the show, which is them dancing with fire sticks. There's a couple of, I signed up for one because the picture I saw, the woman had a coconut bra with two spinny fire sticks on the bra and was spinning her boobs around a helicopter in flames. What?

And I said, that's the family luau for me. There was one ad I saw that said it was the most dangerous fire show on the island. And I was like, great. It was fire and knives. Yeah. In person, I got none of that. Is there no fire breathing? There was no fire breathing.

They don't do fire breathing, Omar. That is a stereotype. They did a fire spinning with the stick. Their biggest trick was putting the fire through the leg. Oh, I've got the stick on one side of the leg and my other stick on the other side. Yeah, but you see that giant dead pig on the table, right? That's the other thing, Omar, is I thought when I was going to walk in after they laid me, I thought I was going to see a giant roasting, suckling pig.

Did they fight when you got there as to who had to lay you? Did they go, like, I don't want to. I won't be able to get it over her. Do you think you were the pig? Just put this apple in your mouth. It's still on the table. Rotate, damn it. And my family had decided to spring for the prime viewing.

Oh, what a scam. So we had the ticket that was like one of the closer tables to the stage. Your folding table was three inches closer than the people that got the group on for the same. Exactly. The same luau. Yes, and the things that are the biggest bonuses at the luau, I was not able to take advantage of. Like, hey, over here, there's a bar with unlimited alcohol. Right.

You can go back and forth as many times as you want. Every drink is included. Yeah, pregnant in a luau kind of sucks because a lot of it's that raw fit, the poke stuff. Unlimited poke, and everyone said that was the best part of the luau. Best food item was the poke, and I couldn't take part in that either. I got a separate little dish of avocado, tomato, and cucumber. Oh, so sad. It's very sad.

And then it's interesting that you mentioned the coconut brock line. Because once it got going, we started eating and stuff. They did these little pre-show things where it's like, let me show you how to open a coconut. Let me tell you about the story of Hawaii and how it started. I'm glad you mentioned that. There's these little precursor ones where they're like, the show's starting. No, it's not. Here's the thing.

What I learned about this, and I don't want to warn anyone, they try to make it educational. They try and teach you about the whole story. And at one point I said, well, well, well, hold on here. Hold on here. I'm not here to learn about your culture. I'm just here to insult it. I thought we're eating and there's someone with spinning coconut boobs. And what is this?

Now I'm learning about the history of the culture. I didn't sign up for it. It all used to be one island and then it's separated and the whole thing. I'm not trying to graduate in Hawaii. I don't need a full lesson in this. They're like our whole history lesson is being taught through dance and through story. Terrible way to learn. And through song where they had all the songs as well.

And then the guy blows into the conch shell. Yeah, they did the conch shell. I go, does that mean time to eat or what? No, no, no. That means time for another lesson. They also had little side activities that you could do like painting. And they had tribal tattoos, fake tribal tattoos that you could put on. And you could choose between a turtle and a tribal band.

And, of course, my kid really wanted the little tattoos. So I got both of them on him. And then he goes, you get one, Mommy. I go, okay, I'm going to do the tribal one. and he proceeds to, it's like a rollover. It's like a paint roller. And it doesn't even go all the way around my arm. And I'm like, can you finish my arm?

And he goes, it's an eight-inch print, ma'am. That's all you get. You get eight inches next person. We weren't expecting the arms this big at the luau tonight. I'm sorry. So then at around, I mean, we get there at five o'clock, very early, and by 7.30 is when the show finally starts. Also, they charge a buttload for these things.

It was $350 a person. Yeah, the markup on a luau is astronomical. But they show all this stuff like, oh, this is unlimited food, but you can't eat that much of it. Some people can. I feel like every once in a while they get like a real mainlander that comes in there and throws down a bunch. But for the most part, they know the average person is not going to be able to shovel that much food down. I know they're thinking, oh, a bunch of fat Americans are coming over. I know that we're all Americans in Hawaii too, but they look at us differently.

They really do hate the mainlanders there. Well, I don't know if they hate them, but I think there's a little animosity there. I think you've got to be grateful for the tourism and that kind of thing. The fact that we're ponying up so much money. I mean, it's expensive there, too. It's like 10 bucks for a cup of coffee. So I think it's nice that we're spending some money. But still, there are a lot of little things as well with the service.

It's like you're paying a lot of money to be there. And they're like, can I get anyone anything? I'm like, oh, can I get some water? And they're like, yeah, the water dispenser's over there. This is why I've made a very unpopular opinion that I agree with, but I think traveling to Mexico, to me, I like better than going to Hawaii. I think it's closer. I think the people are nicer there, friendlier. I think the food is better.

The packages, I think, are better when people do those. Yeah, and they don't try to bamboozle you into some weird show where they're going to not do spinning coconut bras. We're not going to teach you anything. so then the show starts and then the ladies are dancing and they've got on full dresses

with they've got their bellies covered they've got sleeves all the way down to their wrists not sexy sometimes

I'm like what is going on they're like I think we got a family friendly one I'm like what is going on where are the coconut bars so I thought I accidentally signed up for a gay luau because of the one I went to

even though the website had all good looking women there was when you got there the women were all not good looking wearing huge dresses and the guys were wearing loincloths and all jacked and ripped.

Yes, and their asses are out. Right, and I'm going, what is happening here? What a switcheroo this is. Yes, I know. And then finally, they're teasing and teasing and teasing. We're going to get to the fire dancing, but first this. We're going to get to the fire dancing, but first this. I mean, at like 8.15, we're all exhausted and full,

and they're like, now we want to acknowledge all the anniversaries and birthdays that are taking place at the Luau right now. Please stand up, Dawn and Tiffany. Congrats on 50 years. then the last three and a half minutes you got some fire dancing and now get the hell out of here. Yeah, these are experiences that you think you have to do. It's almost the

pressure of when am I going to be in Hawaii? I got to do a luau. I mean, I've been to Hawaii a few times. I've never thought to do this. Hey, Michelle, what experiences did you have that you found to be incredibly disappointing even though you were super excited about it? Hey guys, good morning. I did a solo trip.

You know, eat, pray, love Costa Rica by myself. I fell for the scam bungee jumping never done it bucket listing i did it i was stuck upside down for 13 minutes i was so twisted and you know my core not strong either could not get up and to top it off i paid 300 bucks for the gopro footage that i could remember that's the best one to get to the end of that would you like to live this for a moment forever they always ask you beforehand yeah it's You hanging upside down for 13 minutes. So you have GoPro footage of you hanging upside down for 13 minutes straight?

Yeah, I do. Never seen. Never seen. I'd like to see that. Yeah, we'd like to post that on Klein Alley Show if you'd let us borrow that, please. All right, well, I get it. Some things aren't worth it. Some things aren't worth it.

You've got to experience them to know. Klein Alley Show. Some things aren't worth it. Add that to our mini list of slogans. I'm KROQ. Good morning. KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. if you need to interact

or want stuff from us like Disneyland tickets which we'll have for you in about 20 minutes. The numbers you'll need 800-520-1067. Hey, Kevin, you're on KROQ.

Good morning. What's up? Hey, what... Can you guys hear me? Yep. So... Take back my original answers to that question.

We've said yes. Now it's your turn. Go ahead. This is how conversation works. Kevin, you're up. Go. Yeah, hey, eclipses are lame.

Thank you for that call. That was worth it. Totally worth it. Man, I could have said that. Save that for best of the next time we take some time off. Things that are overrated.

Kevin. We have a lot of messages that are sitting around on the GOAT line. Some sad ones. Apologies. You know, there's a lot of talk about the death of Sam Neill,

the guy from Jurassic Park. But then there is our listeners and people that they've lost, things they've lost. And it even happens during the fireworks. As you know, the animals run wild

once the fireworks start hitting up the skies because they can't deal with it. Listen to this guy. Hey, guys. I just wanted to welcome you back from your vacation. I lost my cat two weeks ago, and it's been really hard to get up in the morning these days.

But I just wanted to let you know that you make it easier, and I'm happy that you're back because it'll be a little easier. Thank you. Love you. Allie's going to do impressions of your cat, sir, to make you feel better. Is that spot on or what? Have a good one. Sorry about the cat, and I'm sure that that sucks, but the good news is there seems to be tons of them just running around out there.

As somebody who has three cats, let me assure you, it's much easier to wake up without them. Yeah. It says it's harder to wake up without his cat. I'm telling you, I was so happy being away from all my animals. Did you even do anything, or did you even leave food, or did you just leave the house? We left a dead body in the middle of the living room. Yeah, I may have gnawed on that for a while. Yeah, they're fine.

It feels like there's not much that has to be done, right? You didn't have to have a cat sitter. We did have to have somebody that came over because there, you know, there's three of them. Oh, you did have to have somebody? We had a hoarder lady stay there. Oh, nice. No. She's already there?

Yeah, it smelled. I mean, being away from pets, even just having the responsibility of any pet, when you get back, you're like, why do I have these things again? Yeah, it's... I feel like I should, we should just get rid of them. You're talking to a guy whose dog has been skunked and fleed multiple times over the last few weeks. Like, if you could do it over again, would you even get one? Yes, but the sad thing is it's the mistake that you make over and over again because there's that unconditional love.

Because when you see the puppy or the kitten, you're like, oh, yay. You don't think about all this other crap that you have to deal with, literally. That's the best part, too, because I've got a buddy now. In fact, even Justin here on the show, Ginger Justin, this dog, this was a free dog. Oh, he got a lemon. A free dog that he has now spent, I want to say, just in the calculations I've done, close to $15,000 just to keep the thing walking over the last few months. I mean, it's...

Give it to the Vanessa. The guy had the ACL surgery of the dog, and if it jumped up on a couch, any time over the next six months, the whole surgery falls apart. You got a Conor McGregor dog. You have to stay home and make sure the dog didn't jump. You have to stay home to make sure the dog would not jump on the couch. This is what we do. The guy missed days of work because he goes, I got to protect the couch.

This is when aliens land and go, these idiots, let me please put them out of their misery. We are idiots, but it's because I think we are made to love, and we can't love each other. You have your dog, for sure. Whacking him off. Right, I had to. For medical reasons. Had to put that thing right. And I'd do it again, damn it.

Little did I know. That's the reason. That whole story about me having to go and get the KY and have to put my dog's gong back in the whatever, the sheath or whatever they called it. I realize now that this has happened a million times since. I didn't have to do that at all. The thing eventually goes back. This is the part that sucks. Some vet decided to have some fun with me.

That's the part that sucks? Yeah, me sitting in the parking lot of a CVS whacking my dog off because I thought the thing wasn't going to go back in by itself. was what the vet told me to do. And clearly the vet just got off the phone and had a good laugh and goes, I can't believe this guy's really going to do it. And meanwhile, this has happened a million... Go to the parking lot, Cam.

I've got to see this. This has happened a million times since to my dog, and I just... Why do you keep doing it? I don't do it anymore now, Jake. I let gravity take care of the rest. I feel like a spray bottle would have fixed it. We get back in a second.

When we return, we have news to get to. We'll find out who's the most and least fun on the show, and we get you into Disneyland with not one, not two, not three, but four tickets. And that's all happening after this quick break right here on K8 Rock. Let's get into your ADD news. Then a brand new hour of the show will begin.

First thing we do is get you four tickets to Disneyland. We'll do that at 9, noon, 3, and 6 every day this week. Our way of saying sorry we were off last week. Make it up to you with giving you Disneyland tickets. All will be forgotten and forgiven. And that is after this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD news.

Must be a nice feeling sending your kid off to a summer camp. You have a week or more of a kidless existence. I'm sure it's a freeing feeling. But then imagine you leave, you drop them off, and you get a call right afterwards saying there's been a once-in-a-lifetime flood. You must pick your kid up immediately. Camp is canceled. And this happened at a summer camp in Missouri over the weekend. Unexpected flash flooding trapped all of the campers and staff at Camp Tom Sock.

They had to enlist eight... Tom Sock. Tom Sock? Tom Sock? T-A-U-M? Tom? Not sure how to pronounce that. But they enlisted eight Blackhawk helicopter crews to evacuate all the campers and staff.

Everyone was OK. But, of course, everyone freaked out because you recall last year at Camp Mystic, there was a freak flash flood in Texas. And that was a tragic situation. Twenty five people died in that flash flood. So, of course, everybody was ready to rescue in this moment. But it was unexpected. And it seems that, you know, once camp is canceled, it's not going to be rescheduled again. That's it.

I know a family, friends of one of my kids, and their parents sent them to a camp, I think in Pennsylvania, East Coast, sent them somewhere. And immediately said, great, we're going to have the summer. We're going to take a vacation. Haven't done a vacation in a while without kids. And they went and they landed. I believe they went to France, maybe. And when they got off the plane, they landed and turned the phones back on. And they had a message that their camp had also had a storm.

and all of the cabins were uninhabitable. What the hell? And they had to come pick their kids up immediately. And they got this message after landing in France. Check your phone. Yeah, just don't check your phone. They would have figured it out. They're chucking it to the ocean.

Make all the camps underground or something. Let's figure it out. For the most part. Why is everyone trapped? It's a survival camp now. Right, now it's a different theme. I know you thought this was a space camp, but guess what?

Now it's a survival camp. It's a prison camp. So get ready. But that sucks for the kids, sucks for the parents, sucks for everyone. I mean, it sucks for everybody. It sucks for everyone. But also, think about camps for the most part. These structures, I don't think they would get proper clearance.

Well, they're like old log cabins and stuff, right? Right, rickety, and some of them are tents, some of them are cabin-ish. I mean, it's the same cabin that teenagers have been making out in for the past, you know, 80 years or something like that. Termite, rid, like the fact they stand up even over a drizzle seems surprising. So when all of a sudden some real weather comes, El Nino-style weather, they can't hang. Can't hang. So here's the newest thing that could possibly kill you, your own pants, at least if you got them from Zara. Zara gets in trouble for their clothes often, but usually it's for offensive clothing like selling swastika shirts or concentration camp shirts.

We thought it was a design. We didn't realize that we made a bunch of these swastika shirts, but oh well. They tried to say they were sheriff shirts. Yeah, it's a sheriff badge. I was like, that's a Star of David, and this is a black and white, pinstriped prison shirt. Those are Holocaust prison shirts. Oh, are they? It's a sheriff.

It's part of our summer wardrobe. So these are not offensive, but they are earning the nickname death trousers or death pants because so many injuries have happened from these $45 wide leg pants. Some people are claiming that the pants cause them to trip and get injured, with some people saying that they even ended up in hospital. Not hospital. Most post injuries of scrapes on their knees or hands, but some others have posted about a bruised ankle and even a broken elbow.

On social media, some jokingly say they've fallen victim to the pants. The flowing wide-leg trousers come in multiple colors online and are marketed at $45. These women say it's not the length that's the problem, but more the width of the trousers. They're so wide that their feet get caught and then they trip. Hilarious. Clearly, we all have to buy a pair and wear them for the day

and see what happens to us. The death pants? Yeah, we all have to buy a pair of the big baggy pants. And we have to get the same size for Vanessa. Same size. I mean, that's...

Vanessa probably does wear the baggiest pants of everyone on the show. Yeah, I mean, I'm wearing some wide-leg pants. I could imagine tripping... Just because you have wide legs doesn't mean you have

wide-leg pants, Allie. These are skinny jeans. Allie's made those pants wide-leg. These are death pants because they're cutting off my circulation. I think that... Are those still available

or did they pull them, the death pants? I haven't seen anything about pulling them yet. I think it's just about the accidents that have been reported. Let me see if we can find them online. Yeah, if we could all buy a pair of death pants.

I guess I don't enjoy a search death pants. Zara death pants. Zara death pants. And see if any of us can make it through the day. Sisterhood of the Traveling Death Pants. Yeah, it'll be such a sad competition series to see which one. Oh, man, these are very wide-legged. Really?

Yeah. Like comically wide? I mean, they're like clown pants. Yeah, that's the new look. I hate this look. I see this everywhere now. Especially a lot of women are wearing these big, baggy-ass jean shorts. look like the kind of jean shorts

that Kevin Smith wore for years? Yes, like big dyke shorts. Or Jake shorts. I don't wear those types of shorts. Fat guys wear them to hide their body, but I don't like all these good-looking people trying to wear them. And then you think you would counteract it

with a little tiny top, but it's like giant tops. Giant. Everyone's all hidden under tarps these days. That's what I do. I can't figure it out. And you know what? If I did that,

I would look still massive. Yeah, if you're still funny. You need to just be a stick figure to even look good at that. If you just have a regular-ass woman body, you look enormous. It's not flattering at all. One of the many things I hate paying for at all costs is water. Why should I pay for something that comes for free from the sky or a bathroom faucet?

But at Erewhon, you can pay or overpay for anything, including water. And a lot of people are spending $12 on a cup of water at Erewhon. They call it sacred water. It's described as a clarified herbal tonic served as a refreshing elixir poured over ice. If you go into Air One and give them $12 for a cup of water, they should take the water and pour it, throw it right in your face and say, all right, dummy. You're a sucker. You're a sucker. And then they wake you up out of whatever weirdness you're in.

But people are saying I had it by multiple cups. Why? Because it was just so good. Oh, stop it. No one said that. You think Air One just does this stuff for publicity? Of course. Yes.

Like the $20 strawberry that we got suckered into? I think Zara's doing this with the pants, too. They want people to fall over? They want everyone to fall over. They're like, we haven't gotten in trouble for anything. Let's make people die. You think they have models on runways wearing their pants until finally someone trips and falls off? Push her over.

That's the one. Get some publicity. It includes coconut water, organic jasmine tea, raw honey, holy basil, whatever the hell that is, anise, hyssop, green cardamom, white grape juice, and more coconut milk. No protein? Klein's out. I'm out. But also, that's not really water. At this point, the headline is $12 for a cup of water.

It's a tonic. But that's not a water because it's got a bunch of crap in it. It's sacred water. But this is all infused. It's not straight up. Infused with stupidity if you buy it. That's what it's infused with. Yeah, so when you look at it, it just looks like a clear cup of water.

It doesn't have a color to it. How many ounces are you getting? I think it's a 16-ounce cup. I got a jug of jizz. Oh, that's what it is. That explains it. It's sacred holy water. My mom's lived off of it for years.

That's right. That's the recipe. All right, well, on that uplifting roundup, we will get into a brand-new hour of the show in a moment. Do you think that you'd be able to tell that water from any other cup of water in a blind taste test? I mean, the answer is I would be able to because it's got a bunch of flavors in it. But if you were to give me that water, let's say, against a couple of other flavored waters. Like LaCroix?

I don't think I'd be able to say, like, this $12 one tastes significantly better. I feel like I could take a tap water from the K-Rock kitchen. That's infused with botulism. Yeah, that's infused with all sorts of stuff. failed careers and pesticides and everything else. Remnants of Hawaiian shirts. I think you could do that, but you could also

I mean, I think it would be very easy to just squeeze a lemon in something and say it's some sort of holy water. We should sell $50 cups of water outside of Irwan. Even if we sell one cup, we're making money. See if we can do it. The very first thing we do after this song is get you into Disneyland.

If you want to win, call now. We call at 2,800-520-1067. 9 o'clock exactly. and let's get you into Disneyland next on KROQ. Oh yeah, Klein and Alley Show. Back live and direct. Thick neck and long neck. The greatest tag team since the superpowers.

Oh yeah, dig it. Rock them panty lines. Yeah. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7. KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County.

The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world-famous K-Rock. Good morning. Just after 9 o'clock, we promised you Disneyland tickets, so let's go ahead and do that. 9, noon, 3, and 6. Set your reminders. Four tickets.

Let's go. You didn't plan anything this summer? You find summer's getting away from you already? Let's get you to the happiest place on Earth, some Disneyland, and we say good morning. Yay. Two-twentieth caller puts us in Downey. Is this Charlie?

This is Charlie. You and three friends and or relatives and or children and or potential lovers will be going to Disneyland. The choice is yours. Four tickets. Congratulations. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. Thank you so much.

You are very welcome. Will you take all of your potential lovers? Basically. I mean, why wouldn't I, right? I get it. Make that happiest place a little happier. Well, enjoy. A little magic.

Yeah. Okay. Well, we were just making jokes, but apparently Charlie's got some plans. Damn. All right. Hold on, Charlie. Love that. Hang tight.

Get all those tickets immediately. Charlie, god damn. God damn, Charlie. Man. You know, we had that caller last week. I think it was the mom tender who wanted to inform us all because we weren't sure if that was the person that was Jake's, quote, succulent girlfriend. She said a quote on our show. She said, I have never been intimate with Jake.

Since then now, we've gotten some shirts. We should post those on our Instagram. I'll pull it up. Oh, we did. Oh, we did already? Oh, good. Yeah, and they didn't even tag me. There's three options to pick from.

I'm curious as to which one. We're going to print a bunch of them for everyone who's never been intimate with Jake, which is most people. We got to decide what style we want to go with, and then we're going to print a bunch of them up. It'll be our next limited edition merch drop. I don't see them up here. Hold on. There's one of them has a sketch of Jake on it. Omar, have you seen these yet or no?

I have not, no. I'm curious as to which one. Vanessa, resend these to the group. I'd like the audience to decide, though, which ones they'd be most likely to wear. This is only for people that have never been intimate with Jake, which means that most of the population will be able to wear these shirts. All but two people can wear it. Yeah, everyone can wear the shirt proudly. Anyone I see in those shirts.

And the shirt just says on it, I have never been intimate with Jake, which is such a funny piece of merch for our show. I mean, it's funny anyway. It's just funny regardless. It's just funny regardless of whether or not you know the show. Yeah, maybe you know a different Jake in your life that you're also proud you've never been intimate with. Maybe your husband is Jake and you can still wear it. Yeah, I mean, there's so many funny ways that you can wear this shirt. Yeah, look at these shirts.

These are great. Ali's showing them on the YouTube right now. These ones are just the prototype shirts. And I like the... And we're going to make the real ones. Yeah, there's one that actually has a drawing of Jake as well. A drawing of Jake and his dog. Jake, do you have a favorite?

I've never been intimate with Jake's shirt. No, I hate them all equally. You got to catch them all. Yeah. God damn. I mean, they're all pretty great, though. I don't know if there's one that I like more than the others. I mean, I like the standard black shirt with white print.

Just simple? Just simple. I have never been intimate with Jake. Yeah. And think about so many people that we posted, I guess, something. I did see something that went up with a lot of DMs from people that were going, get me that immediately. It's going to be free.

We're not charging for them. There's one that's kind of like jailhouse font. Yeah, I like that one, too. Anyway, you can see it. We're posting them up on our Instagram now. Find one you don't like. I think they're all great. I mean, I should make them all.

They're all great for different reasons. Is there one that you don't like? Jake hates them all I think they're fantastic And this was a quote From one of our listeners That wanted to inform us Wanted to call

And let us know That she has never Been intimate with Jake You can also Would it make you feel better If we also got I have been intimate With Jake shirts

But we only made two of them In extra large God damn it We only have two Two of them only For the two people That can wear it And tarp size

Tarp size Well when we get back Jake believes He had the worst day ever It might be today And he will explain three reasons why he had a worse day than any of you over the past week. And we'll come back with that after this fitting song called Pain on K-Rock. We've all had bad days before.

Seems like my reins and pores started bad. I think we determined on the show that if your day is okay by 8.38, then potentially you're going to have a decent day. But if things start to fall apart earlier in the morning, it's probably going to go downhill from there. Jake claims that one of the days while we were away, he had a terrible day. And I feel bad, Jake, because I know that... We couldn't be there to make fun of you. Yeah. We wish we were alive so we could have made fun of your terrible day.

But now we have to do it after the fact and bring it all up again. No, I feel bad because I know one of the things that you did this past week is one of your favorite days of the year. And that's where you get into an inner tube and you sit in a river by yourself. And you float down with a little floating keg of beer or something, whatever you do. I don't know what your whole trend is. I know you've talked about it. I'll tune you out. Yeah, thanks for listening.

You didn't see his anniversary post? No. Of what? Of the float. You didn't do it again this year? No, I did. Oh. No, I don't follow Jake.

20 years in a row of doing my float. Oh, it's been 20 years he's been doing that thing? Over. Jesus. 20 years of floating. Do you always seek a random stranger to do it with? It's not a random stranger. I try to find someone who'll go with me,

but there have been times where I've gone completely by myself, and it sucks. And how many times have you gone by yourself? Oh, most of the time. Damn. But listen, he thinks it's like... But you have to do it, right? You have to.

If you don't do it. I mean, it's great when you're out there doing it by yourself and walking back to the car by yourself sucks. You know how, like, Jake can't stop him? Why do you keep doing it? But here's the thing, Omar. You know how Jake is...

This is why we say Jake's on the tism big time because if I say Disneyland, he can't not say, like, mm, right? And if anyone mentions beans on the show, the guy yells, like, you know, he can't just say beans in conversation and move on without Jake yelling

in the background something about beans so god damn it it's one of these things where something about beans he can't

you know what it is you don't know what it is cause you're just we're just trying to have a conversation and you're yelling in the background Jake's got beans

I do like beans so there it is so when he goes on this river thing every year it's like he has to do it

he has to otherwise he'll break yeah So he goes up there and he sits in a car And he parks on the side of the road Some weird place And the one hour of it is enjoyable

But everything leading up is terrible No, the whole float itself is great The parking, if you have to walk by yourself That sucks, the trail down sucks too Because it looks like no one used it for a whole year I've heard a lot more words sucks than good The float's great Convincing people to go with you sucks

But the float's great I should get a shirt that says I've never gone tubing with Jake I've never floated with Jake. We need two billion of those. So you did it again this year. Yeah. And that is usually your, quote, favorite day of the year. My favorite summertime thing, yes, to float that river.

Right. And that's cool because you've got to sting. Yeah. And then how quickly after that moment happened did you have your worst day ever? Two days. Two days after? Yeah. So what were the things that happened then all in one day?

The first thing that happened is that I had to fly back to L.A. And I hate traveling. We talked about this. I hate flying, especially to a busy airport like SeaTac. Like, it's just a pain in my ass. The whole thing sucks. I think it literally is, right? Because you nervous crap the whole time?

Yeah, I got to get there way early so my anxiety is low so I don't get all crazy nervous and use the bathroom more than I already have to do. But you get to board the plane. You're the first one on the plane. You get on board the plane before the pilots, don't you, because of your crap card? I get on board first, yes. But I still have to go through security and all that other stuff. I still have to go through, like, ticketing first to get my service dog registered, all that stuff. Show them you get your crap card certified.

Yeah, I get crap car certified. I've seen Jake, I'm not kidding, boarding a plane before where the pilots were about to board. They're holding up their pilot. And Jake has moved them out of the way. Red carpet treatment, brown carpet. I've seen him move pilots out of the way and go, crap car coming through. And these pilots are like, what is that? It's like before the maintenance car.

It's like before the safety checks. Jake wants to be the first guy on that plane. Like the last person steps off, Jake steps on. Yeah, because that makes you feel the more time you can settle, the less likely you are to explode, right? Yeah, exactly, yeah. You're sitting on the plane for so long. So first thing, the day was bad because it was a travel day. Sure.

And then I get in through security, I get to the bar, and I get a text from the succulent girlfriend saying that basically she's going to get back with her ex. Oh, damn. So this was before we left. She was kind of soft breaking it off with you where she said that she didn't really want to keep traveling to see you and that if you weren't on board, she wasn't on board because she likes you too much. And now she likes you so much that she's going to get back with her ex-boyfriend. Yes. And I was just kind of bummed out because I thought I was going to be able to see her when I got back. And then I got to the airport bar and they didn't have a menu.

All they had was a QR code thing to scan when I couldn't get that to work. And if I get that to work and I order a beer, we don't have that beer. And then I ordered a different beer. Like, we don't have that beer either. No. So I finally got a beer. Listen, at some point it's you is the problem because this poor guy at the bar is just trying to serve Bud Lights. And Jake's going, Flava Nobbles.

Sorry, we don't have that one, sir. Yeah, but he's a Budweiser guy, too. He can just do a regular Budweiser. Yeah, but he didn't have that either. But what did you try to get? Because I've been also with you. I finally settled on a Corona. But Jake, how many times have we been at bars where you've asked a lot of stupid questions about beer?

Whatever. It's on their goddamn menu. You should have it. you have pictures anyways I'm sitting there having my beer I'm on Instagram

I see that the concert I had that night got cancelled oh lack of attendance what was the reason I had personal reasons they had to reschedule

but it sucks because I was I was off the next day so I was able to like go out and party and it got cancelled oh and then I got on the plane

first before the pilots and I got the middle seat oh man those poor people sucks for those people on both sides of you they had the worst day ever and the first guy on

who sits next to me is one of those over-talkers. He just has to tell me a story of his whole life. Oh, God. So he talks the whole time? Yeah. Oh, that is the worst.

I had to pretend like to care and I didn't want to put on my music to be rude. It sucks too because if you even have a moment of silence, you're like, maybe it's ending.

Maybe they're done. Maybe they're done talking. Get up. They brought up another story. Yeah, the worst is... Like you start a song and you have to pause it right away because you start talking again.

Or trying to read or something. Yeah, usually you do that thing where you dismiss the talker by putting on that. You go, all right, You very loudly put your headphones, very clearly you're putting your headphones on, and they'll just tap you and keep on going. And they're probably a nervous flyer too, that's why they're over-talking to you.

So then, Jake, you get dumped. This is all before, I mean, this is all before he even takes off. He's been dumped. They don't have his beer. He's got a middle seat. Twice they don't have his beer. And your show got canceled. Yeah, my concert got canceled.

Then you get back to L.A., and then you get to go back to your shack. And then you get to drive five, were you at L.A.? You were at LAX? No, I got to fly into Burbank. Yeah, so it's five minutes from your house. But you got to go to your shack. Yeah, I had to walk home, though. You walked from Burbank Airport to the shack?

Uh-huh. Are you still holding the inner tube at this point, or is it gone? He's just sitting, waiting for the current to come and take him from Burbank Airport. I only traveled by tube this week. Why? Is it still inflated? Oh, Jake, I'm sorry, man. Yeah, that's rough that you had a bad day.

Well, it's cool. Well, we got some merch inspired by you that we'll be giving out to listeners soon enough. So that should make you feel good. It doesn't. 3-2-3 is having a bad day because they had to listen to all this. That's sad. Well, there you got that going for you as well. Awesome.

Listen, feeling better about yourselves, making fun of us, that's all part of it. There's going to be other girls and other shows and other beers. Jake said he was open to this concept that Allie and Vanessa put together a dating profile for him because he thinks that now he's reached the point of being pretty much undateable. Well, he tried to get back on Facebook dating and he reached the maximum amount of swipes within like 30 minutes.

Oh, yeah, that's what I also did on my flight. Yeah. I can't even swipe as much as I want. Such a sad warning to get from Facebook dating. You're already capped out. Facebook dating. I took the screenshot. It's a true fact.

Did any of that match with you of all the people you tried to swipe? Oh, yeah. I actually got a match and it was a terrible date. I got a message on the GOAT line about Jake and we got to take a break. This is from his friend by the name of FlightSuit.

Oh, uh-huh. He called to say that Jake has been hitting on, I guess he's been very flirty lately. With everybody? Yeah, listen to this message. And he's on the rebound hard, huh? I don't know what's going on, but this is, if Jake's doing this out in public, he should not be allowed out at all. This is a message from Jake's real friend. Hey, it's FlightSuit.

I was just hanging out with Jake. We were walking into the Ralph's supermarket, and a lady pushing a supermarket cart full of melons walked by. And Jake just looked at her and said, hey, nice melons. And I braced for impact. I thought it was going to be easy. I mean, Jay, this poor woman's just trying to buy some produce. And Jake's sitting there. It was perfect.

It was a perfect setup. She was in a sports bra. She's walking right at me with two watermelons in her cart. I couldn't help it. It was a great setup. And I braced for impact. I thought it was going to be trouble. But then she smiled and said, thank you.

Can you imagine that? Why, thank you. Because it was funny. And kept walking. Oh, and kept walking. There's the Jake effect for you. Yeah, give her a shirt. we'll be right back

we have more show to get to after this we have some tickets coming up for you next hour so you can go see Evanescence this weekend as they return to the Kia Forum if you win you will get those tickets if you lose we'll force you to go see the live action Moana so good tickets if you win and bad tickets if you lose

and that'll be coming up later this morning hopefully you've got to put in a little beach time it's a very popular time of the year to go to the beach when they're not shut down for fecal or any of the other E.coli issues that are plaguing beaches i think everybody i know was at a beach a lot of beach stuff and you know you think about the beach and you think about the thing we've been told to be scared of our entire lives at the beach and that is uh sharks right i mean that's the big one right it's like oh we go to

the beach gotta be careful sharks they're gonna get you even when i was going up like i was had arrived at the beach and we were putting down the umbrella and i see all these people in the water and they're all facing the ocean like all turned in one direction i'm like what's going on shark you know because you're what is everyone looking at it can't be a dolphin it's got to be shark There's something that they're saying now is much more dangerous, and none of us are afraid of it at all. In fact, we've all probably done it at least once, twice, maybe a few times, still do it to this day. And experts are warning everyone. They say it's an annual reminder of this beach tradition is much more deadly than sharks,

which everyone freaks out about the sharks because that's the glorious one. And if we're getting close to Shark Week is back and everything. It's been this year. It seems like there has been a lot more reports of sharks seen off the coast here in Southern California. but they're saying that there's something that is much more deadly and something that none of us are afraid of at all. In fact, we do it all the time. Is it burying somebody in the sand and doing that little mermaid tail?

It's funny you say that. Burying in the sand. Because someone died doing that. Yeah, they're saying that that is something that we all just laugh at as a fun little thing to do. Like, hey, kids, go dig a hole and get into it. And that's something that no one's ever... There's no scary movie like Jaws about burying your brother in the sand.

What a lame movie that would be. That is the thing that they are now warning everyone, saying that sand is incredibly unstable and that it's happened now. Sand is unstable? They need to remind us all. Sand is not our friend. Well, if you do too good of a job, it is hard to get out of one of those. Right.

Everyone knows, once you start digging. That's a deep asshole, man. Yeah, but once you start digging, Omar, you go out. How far can I go? Right. At this point, I'm pretty sure. And it gets softer. You go far enough until you hit water.

Eventually. That's like six feet burial status. And then people are getting into the hole and then all of a sudden something shifts and everything collapses in and then they're buried alive under sand. What a great incognito way to kill your spouse. I know.

It used to be cruise ships. You'd have to take them on a cruise and push them off the balcony and say they were drinking. Keep drinking, honey. This is for you. I'm going to do the mermaid tail, I promise. It's going to be a great update.

You know, one of my most traumatic moments at the beach, as I can recall, was when I was a kid and my cousins not only buried me deep, deep in the sand, They also put a towel over my face and then poured potato chips all over my face and body. So birds come and peck at you. So that birds pecked all over my face and body. What?

They hated you. It was horrible. No, I was afraid of birds for a long time. Did they say they were doing that or no? So they said, let's have fun, Allie, who wants to be the pretty mermaid. I was like, guys, guys. I'll be a pretty mermaid. And then they decided to just put you so you couldn't move and cover you with chips.

Yeah, yeah. That was on my other family's side. Wow. But it was traumatizing, and then I had to get them to get me out because the sand was so heavy on me. I couldn't get it out myself. And that's the point that they're trying to make, all these experts. They go, we have no concept that this, like, oh, it's just fun, castle over there and dig a little mermaid tail over here. But once you start digging holes and getting into it, the sand will turn on you quick.

Thankfully, most of us give up after, like, three scoops. That's the one benefit is that eventually it feels like work. And then that's the warning that they're putting out. So remember, sharks are friends, sand is not our friends. Or when the tide all of a sudden, like you're making a sandcastle, you're doing your whole work, and then all of a sudden the tide comes in real far, like way farther than you thought it would. Yeah, it ruins everything. It does ruin everything.

It ruined my hole. Hey, pull that clip. Hey, Momonender. I can't. Pull that clip too. Is this Momonender? This is going to sound like he's been buried in the sandcastle. Hello, try this again.

Hello, is this... Is this Mom-a-neen-der? Mom-a-neen-der? This is Mom-tender, yes. Oh, Mom-tender. Oh, my God. Hi, Mom-tender. Good morning.

Oh, my God. Welcome to KROQ. Hi, good morning. Hi. So, I love the shirts. My husband didn't think you guys were going to make them, so we made a bet, and now he owes me a new tattoo. Oh, nice.

But I do feel a little bad for Jake, so maybe we should make the shirts purple. Oh, would you wear one if it was purple? Jake? Who? Why would I wear one? Well, you've never been intimate with, I guess you have probably a lot. All the time. Yeah, Jake can't wear a shirt.

He can wear it ironically. Yeah, Mom Tender, you're the one who inspired these shirts. Yeah, I've never been intimate with Jake t-shirts. Would you have never been intimate with Jake tattoo? Would you get that? Would your husband allow you to get that tattoo? Oh, no. I don't put names on me.

That's bad luck. Right. Good luck. Right. Oh, God. All right. Well, thank you for that. Are you okay with us turning your quote into a shirt?

We didn't actually ask you. We're not going to cut you in on any of the royalties, but we're not selling them, so it shouldn't matter, right? Oh, no. As long as I get one of them, then I'm good to go. Yeah, you'll get one. And maybe my husband won, too. Yeah, I forgot about that. And my daughter.

We went on the air speculating that maybe this is who the succulent girlfriend was, our listener by the name of Momtender. The husband heard and got all upset. Our listener by the name of Momma Knobber. Right. Yeah, I got them confused. in a moment. We have an update on the quest for more fun in summer 2026. Funner Summer was guaranteed.

There's new research out about how that's going and we will update you on everything that we've got happening. Plus, who is the most fun and least fun on this show? We vote next and we'd love your input. 800-520-1067 or you can let us know what you think as we are chatting

currently on our YouTube. Go to KROQ's YouTube, streaming live. Funner Summer. Force fun next on KROQ. KROQ, people are concerned that this will be the least fun summer on record. And they always talk about more measurable things like temperatures, hottest summer on record,

wettest summer on record, whatever. But now they're saying that fun has dried up completely. KNX was doing another story about it this morning just about how fun is unaffordable now. So you look at, for instance, number of movie theaters, number of bars and restaurants, number of bowling alleys, uh number of golf courses even even as golf has become more popular uh over over that over that

period uh there are way fewer golf courses and what's happened is all of this stuff has just gotten pricier and pricier and pricier and then you have people you know kind of retreating into their phones the solution might involve people not only forcing themselves to put down the phone and interact with people but getting companies that provide entertainment to develop it over a wider spectrum and a cheaper cost in short making fun affordable and that may lead to a happier society and that guy sounds like he knows fun oh yeah so they can make anything sound boring can they really can sorry i tuned out yeah it was hard to keep up with that so fun is uh clearly now even lower after listening to that but the reality is this summer we have forced ourself to have fun

because the only way to do it now you have to force yourself to do it it's not going to come and find you anymore and it's there's a million reasons to not do things because everything's super expensive and annoying well and i also think that you have to challenge yourself to be fun and we have challenged ourselves and i've already had great fun at a water park vanessa got drunk at a water park we're gonna go camping in a couple of weekends so you're kind of forcing yourself yeah it takes some planning but it's worth it i'm thinking about shooting to vegas for my all nighter um because i thought this weekend i think i'm gonna try to shoot i haven't figured it out yet right now uh i looked at flights were not as expensive as i thought but i think that the

better chance of me pulling the all-nighter is by driving yeah because you go there because i go there spend the night and then drive back not have to worry about it that drive back will be real fun it's gonna suck it always sucks but the drive back there it's a price of fun it's that's the price of fun though you got to do it but i'm not 100 sure that's gonna be all-nighter but i know you guys are gonna come over for the pool party i think in two weeks we're gonna do the pool party oh really Pool party? That was a kegger. Kegger. That's right. Kegger. Pool. You know what, Jake? The pool's off limits to you, but everyone else can go to the pool.

But the question is, once and for all, who is the most and least fun on the show? We've been doing these most least for a while now as we try to figure out who is the most least. We figured out Johnny is the most gay on the show, even though Allie's technically the gayest. We found out that Vanessa is the most dangerous, I think we learned. Dangerous? We're the most scared about her, the most threatening. I forget. We've done so many of these, it's hard to keep track. So this particular list now, and I think we all have our favorites and our least favorites.

Who on the show do you believe is the most fun and the least fun? I think there's a clear winner for fun, most fun. Most fun? Who's number one on your list? Oh, Vanessa. I agree. She's number one. She just exudes fun.

Her attitude is like, yeah, we'll do this. She goes rollerblading. She goes out and she sees World Cup games by herself just because she wants a vibe, you know? You know, it's interesting because she's number two on my list. I would have had her at number one, but she doesn't as much like to share that fun with us. Right, right. But she has her own fun with friends. So that's why it's one separation away.

But any of the audio that Omar plays of Vanessa, like when she's out, quote, having fun. Okay, Dinah. It sounds like just pure, unadulterated fun. Absolutely. Boobies. Right, that's like the voice of fun right there. She had a man pouring a shot into her mouth at Pride. That's always fun when you're not taking a regular shot.

You're the best type of drunk because you're always happy and you're always wanting to dance. You're always wanting to socialize and talk to random people. I believe you've been kicked out of a couple bars, and that means you're really fun. Wads. Wads. What about that time you pooped your pants? I was in the street. You didn't have underwear.

You're already out. See, Vanessa is fun in all of those ways. Plus, she's single, which I think adds to the level of fun. You can be a certain next level of fun if you're single because you have unlimited options. And you have no responsibility. Right. No kids. There's all these things that I think they slowly chip away at how fun you can be in life.

I think she's also location-based the most fun because she's very close to the beach. Right, right, right. But who did you have above Vanessa on your list? I had her as a clear number one. I had her as a very controversial number one. And I think that the most fun person in theory is Jake. Oh, God damn right. I had Vanessa number one, too.

Jake is the bottom of my list he's my bottom too he has so many rules to have fun you have to do it his way it'd be so annoying he goes out every single night he goes to every show he possibly can he drinks almost every single day

but he's by himself this is why I can't trust your guys lists and stuff there's no way Jake is the most fun person he does the most fun things yes he's not fun to be around But he has the most fun This guy has designed his life

Going to see Jizz Uncle is not fun It's just warm Jizz He is having fun every single day Because he's living his own life He's napping every single day It's because he's part of the spectrum No he has to do these things He is on the spectrum

It's fun to be on the spectrum If we're going to vote mostly spectrum Jake wins But I think Let's be honest for a second Jake Are you actually having fun doing Hell yeah, I have myself at the top too He's designed his whole life around having no responsibilities But going out and doing whatever he wants

Whenever he wants I have Jack at the absolute bottom Bringing up the rear of the fun list You're at my bottom I'm at the bottom of your list You've never finished a concert Never gone to Disneyland past 5pm Yeah, Klein, you're on top of me too

You used to be fun with food But now you're healthy now and eating all this creatine No, but he's so spontaneous Yeah. That's what I love about Klein. You also plan. You say, hey, dude, you want to do this? He's like, oh, yeah, let's go.

Let's go. He might not do it for the entire thing. Yeah, but then he doesn't go. But he'll go. I will do it. Not with you, Allie, with other people. If there's fun. Because you're near the bottom of my list.

You're just above Jake, to be honest. At the second to the bottom. Why am I not fun? I'm out camping. I'm doing all kinds of fun things. Because you'll take fun things and figure out ways to suck the fun out of them. You'll say like, oh, I heard this place is really cool. Let's bring our own snacks so we don't have to pay for them there.

She does cheap out on everything. She cheaps out. I put her on the bottom because she's pregnant. Can't do anything fun. Oh, that's true. Can't water ski. Can't eat deli meat. I can eat deli meat.

It's just a risk. And I took that risk. That's fun right there. Now she's back to fun again. Okay. So, hold on. You've even planned fake trips. Yeah, I plan fake trips.

Or if you do plan a trip, something goes wrong. Right. You usually have to cancel or come back early or you miss a flight. your flight changes. There's always bad things that happen. Even when you plan fun things, you complain about them.

Yes, that is true. And to be honest, my idea of fun a lot of times is not even leaving my house. And you're not even that fun around the workplace. You don't really like

talking to people. Like, Johnny is the most... I was in the middle with Johnny because he's the most fun at work. He likes talking to people. He's got good vibes. It's just that he doesn't drink or smoke

or fly anywhere or do anything. Well, that's why Johnny lost points for me. He doesn't do any of the fun things. Any of the vices. He's got no vices, the kid. How can he have fun?

The guy has a sip of alcohol. He goes, I feel dizzy. Yeah. That's not fun. And then Omar was just under Johnny because I think Omar is very family fun. He planned a very family fun vacation. He can have adult fun, but I've never seen it because I don't. You guys didn't know me 10 years ago.

Exactly. I have Omar. I have Omar. Because it's I have to work. I have to provide for my family. Boring, boring. Omar to me is just beneath Vanessa because I do think, yes, his fun has shifted to, quote, family fun now, and he's probably a really fun dad.

But I think. You catch me in the right setting. Oh, man. I think there was one day when we did that Vegas, when we all went to Vegas together with the show, maybe our first trip to Vegas. I think we got 24 hours of fun, Omar. And I think he was like off the rails fun.

But also, you guys, I was at the club and then you guys were, I forget where you guys Oh, I think you guys were already in bed or something. Yeah, you said, come see me at the club. Yeah, I was at the club. I said Omar up nice on my list because I did see him in that Vegas trip with like a huge case of 805

beers going up to his room. And I was like, yeah, that's Omar. Yeah, Omar's fun. And Omar calls, like, randomly, like, in the middle of the night with his wife. And they're in a hot tub. They're like, Ali, get over here. Like, Omar does fun things. Omar knows fun.

So I have him near the top. I have Johnny right there, too. And then the bottom of my list, as I said, is Ali and Jake. Great. That's ridiculous. That's a good list. Yeah. I mean, I think my list is the master.

And I put my, and I could, and I think I float around. I think I could be least fun or I could be most fun, depending on the. You could be least fun or even leaster fun. No, that's impossible. It's impossible. I am fun. If you have to say it like that, then you're not. I am fun.

I am a fun guy. If you're inviting someone from the show to do something, I'm not the first person you're thinking of? No, because I don't think you're going to show up. Yeah, okay. Jake will go. Jake will do anything. I'll bring beers. That's pathetic fun.

Jake will go. And I'll bring drugs. Allie, you're telling me that out of Klein and Jake, you would rather hang with Jake? No, no, no. No, no, no. There's your answer right there. Don't speak Greek. Because she's not fun.

I'm saying Jake is theoretically fun. For the people that like to be around Jake. Theoretical fun? What? What is that? Put that in a shirt. Theoretically fun. Do I want to be with him all the time?

No. Jake is theoretically fun. On paper, Jake is the most fun. We've got to take a break. The fun continues after this, believe it or not. We'll do the news, a brand new hour of the show, Evanescence, Johnny Doesn't Know, and more coming up, K-Rock. Good morning.

Welcome to your K-Rock. We are Clint Alley's show. Hi. Good morning. DJ Omar Khan over there. Oh, nope. That's not working. Oh, that must mean Jake.

That must mean Jake's here. Hey, Jake. Hey, Jake. You're Crickets. Crickets have introduced you. Oh, yes. It's great. I love that.

Let's get into news now, then we can get into a brand new hour of the show. Right now, though, let's do this. It's your ADD News. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Well, the amount of people wearing soccer jerseys has greatly increased over the past few weeks. I don't know if you've noticed. A lot of people are getting more invested.

Not in Team USA. They sucked. But in the teams that are still left. What do you mean they sucked? They were great. They lost 1-4. I finally got convinced to start watching. Why did I do this?

Four games in the World Cup. Isn't that impressive? Vanessa? I've seen goalies at the third grade level do better goalkeeping than the guy for the U.S. Because of one game? Really? I mean, I don't know much about soccer, but I think it's impressive if they won at least like, you know, three out of the four or whatever.

It was the least athletic performance I've ever seen at any level. And I go to T-Ball. It was the moment I was starting to care. I was like, all right, here we go. I didn't see that game. Losers. I had a U.S. jersey in my cart ready to buy. And then I saw that game and I said, nope, that's not a checkout.

It was a total fail. And I blame Vanessa because she got me all caught up in the World Cup fever. It's not just Vanessa. Everybody's caught up. But we had that catchy USA chant, remember? Whatever. Oh, that's right. USA.

It was a terrible chant. USA. We can't even do that right. Terrible chant. So it's interesting you talk about the goalkeeping because according to a study, so many people are watching the World Cup that they now believe they could probably do that goalkeeper's job or beat the goalkeeper easily. One in four people believe that they could score a World Cup penalty kick with no training.

Oh, I can for sure. And if you break it down by generation, Gen Z is by far the most confident. Nearly half of them think they could do it. I'm sure Johnny's one of them. You think you could probably do a penalty kick with no experience, right, Johnny? Yeah, man, I got a big size 14 foot. I could do it easily. And I feel like as a goalie, you just got to pick a side and hope for the best.

Yeah, do a little stutter step. And then they go. It's pretty funny that that's the method. They're like, where am I going to go? Who am I going to go? And that's what decides the winner. The goalie expects the ball to be kicked very hard at them. So they're preparing for that, and they dive aggressively to the left.

And some of them just kind of flip. And some of them trickle in so slowly. But then when the goalie does save the little trickle-in kicks, it looks hilarious because then it looks like the person who kicked it has zero athletic ability because he kicked it at one mile an hour rolling slowly to the corner. But I think sometimes they overthink it. You just got to pick a side and kick it. It's mental warfare.

And then they have all these stats. The last four times they've given a kick, it's always gone upper left, upper left, upper left. So then they must be thinking, the goalie must know this. So I'm going to go lower right this time. Well, and it's funny that they pick certain people. They're like, this guy's really good at it. And I'm like, but isn't it all just about picking a side and kicking it? How is anyone better at that than somebody else?

Who is the most experienced goalie we could find? I'm sure there's some college goalie we could get that would sit and goal and let us all take a shot and see how many of us could actually make one of those. Because it's not that far away. I agree. I think I could make a goal easily. It seems very close. I would do a cross-eyed move with my eyes like this.

And then goal seems here. And then wouldn't know where I was kicking. You just point to the other direction. Yeah, I'll go. Or you're going to do like a fake kick in one side and then kick the other side. I think it's, I don't think Vanessa would do it because her legs are so little. Yeah, I would. She'd probably fall over.

Jake, I would have. Can she kick the ball? No. I can't kick. Yeah, I would have confidence that the three of us would be able to score a goal. I don't think I'm one of them, by the way. Vanessa can't kick. She only throws dogs.

That's right. She'll throw a dog right through the goal. Drop kick a dog through a... That's what we'll check. A penalty dog kick. Find a goalie, get a puppy for us ASAP. The disgusting ass flower is blooming, which is apparently a big deal. This is that big, rare corpse flower.

I thought you were talking about Jake. That has already bloomed and wilted. We do refer to Jake... That one has a 100% chance of blooming every year. We do oftentimes call Jake, if you're new to the show, the disgusting ass flower. Just if you're a new listener, that's one of his many nicknames. Can't wait for those t-shirts. This is the one that when it blooms, it smells like rotting flesh.

It's also not very pretty to look out, but the Huntington Library in San Marino has two of them, and they are blooming at the same time. So a bunch of people are going to be seeing that today. When it blooms, I guess it grows like six inches a day, which is a lot for if you think about how fast flowers grow. It's not very fast. It's, I guess, has so much interest that there is a live stream if you want. Oh, man. And I think the live stream thing is getting way too out of hand. I understand that the bald eagle cam in Big Bear became big, and there's hundreds of thousands of people watching that.

But I don't think we need a live stream of a plant. It'll cost them nothing to do it, and a couple of weirdos like Omar will leave it on in the background for a few days. Like, I'm fine seeing a picture and being like, oh, I think there's a fascination, too, with how bad does it smell. I have to just go there and see. I would think that Jake should stand next to it and do interviews and then ask people what smells worse, the flower or him. I'll take on that flower. It is a pit stop. I love flour.

Yeah, I mean, I'd love to go Jake versus the ash flour. Speaking of which, did you get massive amounts of explosive diarrhea over the weekend or over the break? There is a rise in a cyclospora infection that is causing severe diarrhea. And apparently it's a result of some infected produce and it's causing the outbreak. And apparently it's happening all over the country. They've reported the CDC has issued a warning over it. There's been hundreds of confirmed cases nationwide. I have diarrhea.

It's causing a lot of restaurants to change their menus because it's mainly produce and lettuce and raspberries and things like that. But they're swapping out ingredients to try to not be that guy about it. You don't want to be the restaurant where you got explosive diarrhea. You know, there's, I guess, a flex that people have when all they do is eat salads all the time. And it's annoying when you're going out there and you're ordering a pizza and they're like, I'm going to have a salad. But like every once in a while you get these stories and it makes the rest of us feel good. Because I love when they go, the recalled ingredients have been lettuce and raspberries. And I'm like, good, I am in the clear.

Doesn't happen with processed meat. Yeah, that's right. I didn't see jerky on your list, so we're good. It's funny because I'm not supposed to eat deli meat and stuff. And the reason is because of listeria and botulism and all that crap. But I feel like most of the time I hear about lettuce. Yeah, it's always the thing. It's always lettuce.

It's not our beloved turkey. If you have explosive diarrhea, don't worry. We got one of them on our show as well. It'll pass. Sadly, I miss everything. It's a theme episode of ADD News as we get into a brand new hour of the show in mere moments. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah.

Good morning. Welcome to your K-Rock. It's just after 10 o'clock. Originally, we called these summer hours. How ironic that here we are a year later still doing these summer hours. Thanks for hanging out a little longer. I do feel different in summer, though. It does feel better.

Klein here. Allie there. That is Jake the Nerd. DJ Omar Khan. You got Vanessa, Postmaster Johnny. He'll be in the studio a little bit later this hour for some Johnny Doesn't Know. Lightning round edition. Your chance to win your way into Evanescence on Saturday at the Kia Forum

if you're waiting to win some tickets for that show. Don't worry, we got them for you every day this week. And more Disneyland tickets coming up later today as well. Noon, 3 and 6. And then we'll have another four-pack for you tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp. If you are just joining us or back from whatever vacation you took off, If you took some time, hopefully you still have all your fingers and all your eyeballs. I know that there were, I had such a fail.

I know it feels like 4th of July was forever ago, but it's our first show back since then. And I have a view from my house. I used to have a view, I thought I had a view of Universal Studios, their fireworks show that they put on. And apparently, since I last checked, which was two years ago, because I wasn't in town last year on the 4th, a giant tree has grown. and so I told my kids don't worry we've got the best view going we can watch

the Universal Fireworks show from our house and as we sat up there we started to hear the fireworks and saw nothing because a giant tree over the past

What do you mean up there? Do you sit on the roof or something? Yeah Oh wow Very not safe Yeah That doesn't sound safe

at all But it was I said what the hell it's 4th of July It's a whole day of being unsafe So we go on the roof and all we see is

we hear fireworks and see nothing So in the middle of the fireworks show, after my kid is screaming, going, this sucks, the worst 4th of July ever, we get in the car and drive towards, I was hoping to get a better vantage spot, and luckily, sat outside of a Michael's craft store and looked up at the sky and you could see some fireworks. That's the most L.A. 4th of July ever. Watching Universal Studios fireworks from a Michael's parking lot.

I said, America, baby. This is America. So finally made it. But hopefully all your fingers and eyeballs are intact as we're back at it again. Don't you spend your 4th of July when you go to bed going, was that worth staying up for? Yeah, every time, no. And I'll tell you what, I was very anti these drone shows. And since I thought I was like, come on, blow some stuff up.

This is a little too safe. Now that I've started to look at some of the footage, I feel like I could find myself getting in on the drone thing. Although I think the best shows, the future will be the hybrid where some stuff blows up and some stuff is drone. Oh, and then the drones can blow up. And then the drones blow up. That's going to be the future. I do feel also like firework shows are getting shorter. We stayed up, and the firework show we watched was 12 minutes long.

You don't think that's enough time? 12 minutes is nothing. You've got to have at least... When I was in Nashville, they went for 45 minutes. Yes. 45 minutes? 12 minutes? Oh, yeah.

That was crazy. You're all sitting there waiting for hours, and then 12 minutes? The finale alone was 10 minutes. But I will give... It was insane. And I know there's a lot of, quote, professional firework people that put these shows together, and they spend all year doing it. But shout out to the amateurs, because whenever I get the overhead shot of just Los Angeles,

and it's really just a bunch of different people doing whatever they're doing in their backyard, it's such a beautiful thing. And I know 99% of it is illegal and dangerous. And soon the city will be on fire. But it makes me proud in that fleeting. Because usually when we get the overhead shots, it's look at what a bunch of suckers leaving a Dodgers game, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. and it's just, how many shots have we all seen

of just non-stop red lights and everyone's just going, oh, terrible traffic again. But watching everything blowing up at the same time over the city. Let's blow some stuff up while we wait. It's a beautiful thing. So, anyway, nice to be back together again. Make it worth your while this hour with tickets. Once again, Evanescence if you win and Moana if you lose.

Jay Rock, we are a Klein Alley show. Turns out that when you have good intentions, things don't necessarily go well. We've said this over and over again. We try to be good people. I think we've all given many examples of times when we've tried to be good people the time I saved that dog, tried to save that dog

it was an art installation of a dog, it was not a real dog, but I did attempt to save it and there's other times What was your attempt? You just drove by it? Well, there's the time we can talk about the time I saved it That's not a real dog

I made a U-turn and then I yelled at the thing and then I literally got out of my car before I realized it was a statue of an effing dog I was just cursed but I did save a real dog on the way to work. Allie tried to do something good, tried to be a good Samaritan. I'm not doing nice things anymore.

And she's now done with doing nice things. This is the problem with the world is that we're not nice anymore. No one's nice to anyone anymore. That's what's kind of nice about this World Cup thing is it feels like people were kind of being nice to each other. You saw other countries all coming together to celebrate one thing or to have pride for their countries and coexist. But, and I know you guys always make fun of me

that I don't let people over on the freeway. And I usually, if I do let somebody over, I regret it because they're probably on their phone. They don't even realize their blinker is on. They don't know how to get over properly. And it's usually something I regret doing. In this case, we had just flown in and our flight landed and we had gone to the rental car place. We were renting a car for the week. It had been a long flight, long day.

It was one of those situations where we were sitting on the tarmac for 45 minutes because our plane was too early and they didn't have any space for us at the gate. Uh, Dr. Kappen speaking. Good news, bad news. We made it here like an hour early, but I know where to park this thing, so just get comfortable and keep your seatbelts on. Still waiting for this other plane to push back, and oh, looks like the catering truck just showed up. It's probably going to be another 10 to 15 minutes. It was that for an hour. Right. So finally get in, get our bags, get over to the car rental place. You feel like you're in the homestretch, right? I go there, and usually it can be kind of a madhouse. I was hearing some horror stories about how there weren't enough cars and things like that. i get there and of course i've chosen one of the cheapest options shocker not an enterprise woman let's all act shocked that ally picked the place that no one's ever left over to the budget area

right and then you get a shuttle to go to another area with another shuttle to get to another area it is funny because some of those places are like for the red carpet treatment go this way but for regular people you have to go this way so i went to all the regular people lines and she goes okay yep we got your reservation and we have your car ready so your car is parked in stall c7 go right over to your car and have a wonderful day keys in the car keys are in the car they hand me my little that little pamphlet little pamphlet with my license plate written on it and everything i take my little pamphlet i start making my way down there i see the car it's clean it's ready to go i walk up to it i open the door and i start putting my bags in at which point i hear excuse me

ma'am excuse me and that's never good i'm already in a bad mood when i'm being called ma'am i look and i see a man walking up to my car and he goes this is my car and i go no no this is my car and he goes this is the car that i was assigned i'm like well this is the car that i was assigned and he shows me his little pamphlet that says stall c7 i show him my little pamphlet that says stall c7 and we are both being assigned the exact same car we are with two different rental car places both being assigned the exact same vehicle this is called a meet cute and then we fell in love but at first i hated him no he was there with his wife and a baby they had a stroller they had a ton of bags also probably just got off a long ass flight also probably got off a long

flight so we agreed to go to the podium and bring both of our little pamphlets there and say hey what do we do so we go up and we both show our pamphlets how frustrating is that you finally make the walk of shame the last step you finally get to the to me that the vacation does not start it still has not started yet until you're driving the car over those little spike strips once you go over the spike strips you have that moment or even though you know you're going the right direction you go pop pop pop pop the fun can begin and then you go through the spike strips now the fun can start so i we go up to the podium and we say hey we both got to sign the same car And she goes, well, which one of you got there first?

Oh. That's a great, great solution. I wanted to say, well, technically, I did. Well, you did. Sounds like you did, by the way. You told the story. And I said, you know, it was about the same time. Why would you say that?

You got there first. Because I got there like 10 seconds before him. That's first. I just, we both kind of went. Who wins the gold medal at the Olympics? The person that got there 10 seconds before the person that finished. Arms in the air, shrug. It was about the same time.

she goes okay well then which one of you wants the car and i go and he didn't say anything and i didn't say anything and then i look at him and i go you know this guy has a baby you have a baby you have a kid too as far as he knows i'm alone i wasn't there with anybody my kid my kid and wife you're a baby and growing inside of you that's the ultimate uh card i know and i looked at him and i said you know what go ahead you you take it have a great time is wrong with you i was trying to do something nice and he was so appreciative did you think that they were going to say wow because of your generosity we are going to upgrade you to our best possible convertible or whatever they give out of the top of the line our best possible mustang convertible

which is what everyone else another pt cruiser i'll tell you the number one sign of a tourist in hawaii is a mustang convertible everybody had one so then i tell him have a great he says thank you so much i really appreciate it i said no problem have a great vacation so then i'm sitting at the counter and she's type of type typing and then she just keeps type of type typing the typing at the rental car place is the is of all the typing in the world it's the slowest typing it is it's the most aggressive and there's no possible way that all those things are leading to anything so then she's talking to somebody on the walkie there's somebody is there a car in this lot is there a car in this stall nope then she just stops talking and looking off into the distance

and i go is there a problem and she goes oh yeah we don't have any more cars i was like wait a minute so if i had known that there weren't any cars left i would have made a very different decision just now yeah and she goes well i'm sorry you're gonna have to wait for until another one shows up i said well how long is that going to be and she said an hour or more An hour or more. Yeah, more means infinite. You can add the or more infinite amount of money. So then I had to do another walk of shame, back up the elevator to meet my wife and kid going, where's the car?

And he said, I gave it away. And you actually were honest with them and said what happened. You said, I had a car, I got there first, and I still gave it to another person? I said I would have never given that guy my reservation if I knew there weren't any more cars left. And they were like, do you want a giant truck? And I was like, yeah, I do want a giant truck, actually. If that's ready now, I want the truck. My wife said, I'm not driving around Hawaii for a week in a giant truck.

I was like, hey, this is an upgrade. This is a better car. I was like, this is more space than that little convertible. She goes, no, I wanted the convertible. So we had to sit there and wait in the little group area with all the other losers waiting for the car to finally come. This is why you can't do nice things. This is why I'm never doing anything nice again. Screw that guy and his dumb baby.

We take a quick break. We'll get back in a moment. If you'd like to join us for Johnny Doesn't Know, win your way into Evanescence this weekend, Saturday. You'll be at the Kia Forum, where they dominated that stage at KROX Almost Acoustic Christmas last year. You'll get a chance to see them again or for the first time this Saturday. If you'd like to play Johnny Doesn't Know, call now. But warning, if you lose, you will be given two tickets to go see Moana, the live-action Moana, which everyone says is terrible. And you'll have to see that.

And wish you were just watching the original version. So it's a win. You're into the forum for Evanescence to lose. You're forced to go to Moana. That'll be next. It's KROQ. We are Clint and Ali's show. Postmaster Johnny's entered the studio now after camp counseling, a trip to Santa Barbara to see Royal Lotus.

You saw him twice in two days, huh? You went to both shows? Yeah. Saw him at the Greek and then saw him in Santa Barbara the next day. Saw you upgrading some people's seats all the way to the floor. That was a nice surprise, too. Bought a bunch of people in and out. They said they had a great time.

A lot of rave reviews for Postmaster Johnny and his camp counseling. Meanwhile, on the GOAT line, not the same thing. Ali, sadly, there's people that do not feel the same about Johnny on the GOAT line as they did. And those that were on the trip with him said it was great. This guy had wanted to say this. Yo, what's good, people? Just checking out your guys' Instagram because, you know, we miss you guys. And I just noticed something that I always wondered.

Why is Johnny always pinned on top of your Instagram feed like if he's the star of the show? Somebody might need to, you know, take away his privileges of what he's got abilities to do because, one, he's not the star of the show, and, two, I think we all know that and can agree on that. Well, that wasn't two points. That was the same point he made twice. But okay, yes. Johnny is, in the world of Johnny, Johnny's the star. Johnny is the star of The Johnny Show.

And also, he wanted to put the videos that were the best performing videos up on the Instagram. And because Johnny looks so much like Justin Bieber, a lot of people accidentally watch our videos thinking they're looking at Justin Bieber. We don't have a lot of good eye candy on the show. You and I aren't necessarily going to be, you know, we're not getting the clicks. We've got a radio to hide behind these microphones. Yeah, that was before all the video stuff started. Stupid video stuff. Then there's this guy.

Yo, what's up, guys? So I'm catching up on the podcast from yesterday, the second, and listening to this Johnny Doesn't Know segment. And I'm sorry, but as a somewhat long-time listener now, Johnny, there's no way somebody could actually be this dumb with all the questions, right? I mean... Well, listen, that is the question.

And once again, this is what blows my mind every time we do Johnny Doesn't Know. There's some questions that I think are super easy he has a hard time with. Other ones are slightly more difficult. He answers them quickly. So there's no figuring out Johnny. I don't know any more about Johnny's knowledge and ability now than I did when we started doing this over a year ago. He jumps all over the place. So where will he go today is the question.

Time for Johnny Doesn't Know. Here we go. Johnny Doesn't Know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny Doesn't Know. I didn't know Vegas was like in data for like a while. Johnny Doesn't Know. Johnny Doesn't Know.

Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes, wiggles. We head to Pasadena. Say good morning to Emmanuel. Welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know. Good morning.

If you're right and you get this right, all you have to do is predict will Johnny know or not know. It's one question only. And if you get it right, you're going to go see Evanescence on Saturday at the Kia Forum.

If you get it wrong, though, you'll be forced to go to see Moana, live action in theaters, a movie that is being panned by all parties involved. They're calling it a big giant dud.

And it's just really a shot-for-shot money grab, and it's not even grabbing any money. So here's the deal. You understand that if you are wrong, you will be going to see that movie today. I completely understand. Okay. You must give a positive review and post it on all your socials. All right. Let's get to it.

I understand the rules. All right. Johnny, one question and one question only. We're going to go history now. Johnny's a bit of a history buff. I don't know if you knew that, Allie. Ah, here we go. Did you know that?

Ah, yeah. Oh, yeah, history. Interesting. Let's go. Going to Greek mythology. Oh, damn. Okay. Johnny.

Mm-hmm. What was inside of the Trojan horse? The story of the Trojan horse. Will Johnny know what was inside of the Trojan horse? Yes or no, Emmanuel? I think it's going to be a no. You think it's going to be a no. All right.

If you're right, you're going to go see Evanescence. If you're wrong, you're going to go see Moana. Johnny According to Greek mythology What was inside of the Trojan horse? I know this because when I went to the movies This weekend I saw that movie The Odyssey is coming out

They had those popcorn buckets And it was the horse Was your answer popcorn? Not popcorn I'm suffocating in delicious salty popcorn People They had soldiers in the horse and they used it as a decoy so when they

brought it as a gift, presented it to the enemies, they brought it into their castle and then at the middle of the night or sometime, all the soldiers jumped out of the horse's butt and they were just like, oh, let's kill them all. Those idiots. It's like

I watched the Odyssey. Emmanuel, I have terrible news for you. You will not be going to see Evanescence. You will be going to Moana. Yeah, that's unfortunate. it, but it is what it is. It is what it is.

Hold on. The Trojan horse of the box office. Yeah, really. Well, Johnny, I can't believe you. Now, had you not seen the trailer for that movie, would you have known that or no? I didn't even see the trailer. I just saw the popcorn bucket at the AMC. And that made you...

Yeah. And then my friend told me, she's like, hey, like the Trojan soldiers used to come out of that and they used to like surprise them. Wow, so you just learned that this weekend? Yes. So we had asked you this question last week. You wouldn't have had any idea? Yeah, I probably would have said like horse poop or something like that.

Horse poop. That's what I was hoping for. Stuff like that. Well, good news for Caller 20 right now. You're going to go see Evanescence this weekend at the Kia Forum. No games needed. Just be the 20th caller right now. 800-520-1067.

And we'll make that happen for you. Learned a little bit today in this round of Johnny. Johnny doesn't know. Or did we? Not exactly sure. Come back with takeaways and give these tickets next. All right, let's leave you with some positive news. Then we'll do some takeaways.

Get the hell out of here. Slug goes in. He's got more of those Disneyland tickets for you coming up in about an hour. Then again at 3 and 6. So be ready to call and claim them. We'll have them for you again tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp. So first, though, we say hi to Kim in Pico Rivera. Kim.

Hey, Jim. Jim. Great. Let's go with that. Three letters and we couldn't get it. I'm telling you guys, I know you think I can't read, but look at it, Allie. It says Kim. All right, anyway, hey, Kim, Jim, whatever it is,

you're going to go see Evanescence at the Kia Forum on Saturday, all right? I feel like Kim would have enjoyed this more. Yeah, sorry, sorry. Yeah, okay, great. These are going well. This is awesome. Well, it's first day back. It's first day back.

Two takeaways and then get the hell out of here. Maybe we should take another week. Takeaways from today's show, and then we'll move on. And thank you for all the interaction. Once again, tomorrow, more Evanescence tickets, more tickets to Disneyland, and more other stuff we have in store for you. But first, from today's show, what will you bring with you into your lives? 503, my takeaway is always remember at the beach that sand is not your friend.

It's not your friend, guys. 310, my takeaway is I need to get me a crap card. Yeah, get the board of the plane VVIP style. 818, Ginger Justin got a Conor McGregor dog. It's the worst type of dog to get. 213, Bruiser is an artist. 818, Momtender's name is actually pronounced Mama Nodder. 909, Jake is theoretically fun.

Theoretically. And 424, it's fun to be on the spectrum. Bames. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Jake only travels by tube. by tube. It's his favorite mode of transport, tube. Tubes in the water, instant fun. Tubes out of the water,

theoretical fun. Johnny, you got a takeaway from today's show? Yeah, it's Charlie, god damn! Charlie, god damn! God damn, Charlie. Takeaway, Jake. We need spinning coconut bras. Yes, we do. If you're going to put spinning coconut

flaming bras all over your luau website, you better deliver the spinning coconut flaming bras. Yeah, don't make everyone all clothed. That's crazy. What is your takeaway, Allie? My takeaway is we should do neck flicks, not flicks tomorrow. Okay, that's right. Thank you for coming.

So is it Netflix or is it something that Klein's neck made up? That's great. That'll be tomorrow on the show. A lot of wonderful comments. Omar, takeaway from today's show? How do you pronounce? Tomsock? Tomsock?

That's a good takeaway. Allie's offended lots of people. I was going to say Tumsuck, which I thought was worse. We will get out of here now, leave you with a memorable jingle, so you remember to listen to us again tomorrow. In the meantime, you can go to the Instagram, Clown Alley Show. Please give us your thoughts there. We put up all three options of the I've Never Had Intercourse with Jake shirts.

Let us know which one you like the best. We're going to make a bunch of them and give them out at our next event, which hopefully we can announce sooner rather than later. And here's your jingle as we say goodbye for now. Goodbye. Clown Alley, it's just okay. Thank you ladies and gentlemen Well that's all we got for you

We know you were hoping it would be better Trust me when I say we were too But for those of you with learning differences This episode comes with a visual aid In the form of a live stream on YouTube That's right you can see the show you just listened to with a bunch of more weird, awkward moments where there's music and commercials playing

and Allie and I are just sitting there picking at our faces. Yeah, so if you go to KROQ's YouTube, you can watch it live or you can watch it after the fact. And as always, you can catch us on Instagram at KleinAllieShow and on TikTok as well. And there's a live show, by the way,

on the radio. Okay, volleyball!