Kump - 1 - Baby Mice in an Old Shoe

Episode Date: January 1, 2019

Ray ushers in the New Year, discussing the various infections he's overcome, the world's decline into neo-fascism, and the baby mice he found in his old shoe.

The Conjuring Last Rites On September 5th I come down here in your house Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

The Conjuring, last rites. Only in theater, September 5th, where it are. Welcome to the show. Thanks for tuning in. This is the first episode. You guys are, I got to move out of this goddamn apartment.

I mean, I'm a sloppy guy. I know I have a propensity with the goddamn soda bottle. I have a lot of soda bottles. I'll drink Diet Dr. Pepper, if I can find it. If not, Diet Coke. But, you know, I mean, 20 ounces. I'll drink. I have a two-liter bottle if I have to.

I'm a sloppy guy. I'm not going to finish a cold that damn bottle You know when I'm home I'll play some fucking video game Point is my room It's the floor is littered with old Bottles

I'm not a disgusting homeless person All right I'm not saying that like I'm leaving like Chunks of meat And like old fish wrappers Lying around I'm not an animal I mean you know

There's no fucking cans of fucking You know tuna Tartar I'm not fucking just slobbering all over a bunch of meat and then just leaving them to be to be fed on by animals. I have bottles of soda.

Literally are in the floor. They're clean. You know, it's relatively clean. So I don't think I deserve, I don't think I need to look. Is that clean? Is that something that you want to bring a girl

over to your apartment and find? No. It's a little messy. It's a little sloppy. But that doesn't explain what I found I want to clean I'm not an ad I clean it up every once in a while

you know I go through the floor a floor a fucking the real problem if I could just throw stuff in the garbage it'd be fine

but I got like filter out what goes into recycling and then drain the liquid from these fucking bottles using a pot it's a whole process

I go through and it takes a while and I'm just lazy so take you know whatever so I'm cleaning up the floor the other day

and I don't look it used to be a mouse problem in this room. I plugged it up with an old satchel that I had which sounds weird, but I had a sat. I ordered this, I thought it was a messenger bag that I was getting from Amazon. It turned out

it was like a satchel. So I just shoved it into the wall where there was a hole where the mouse would come through. Because there was a mouse, the mice would come through, you know, at one point. You would hear him, you know, scuffling about. And, you know, I don't pay a lot of this apartment. There's no window, but it's cheap, so, you know, I'm not going to

like, you know, sort of freaking out because there's a out. But I've, so inside my old, I'm cleaning, you know, my apartment yesterday and there's a fucking, you know, I see an old shoe of mine, a LeBron soldier. Now to specify the soldier, it's the less expensive version of the LeBron's shoe line. You know, if you ever saw me around, there was a flat green basketball shoe. It was fine. They were very well supportive of my ankles. They had three Velcro straps in addition to the laces. I liked it. I felt, you know, really locked into the floor and inside one of these soldiers I found you know there was a piece of like a napkin there's all torn up I'm like oh why is this torn up do the mice get to and I look and there's

movement there's movement in the goddamn shoe there's movement in the shoe as like a it looks like hot dogs moving like what you catch it out of the corner of your eye it's that kind of thing it's not the kind of thing that you immediately register what this is what you just saw you know what you just observed you don't know something weird happens I'm sure this happened to you you know and you know what was that

and you get an unsettling feel I mean if you listen to this you probably know what they do I mean I used to work at a morgue you know I saw a lot of dead dead things babies kids people grown people different races and sizes

and cultures they came from you know different states of you know death you know maybe they were shot maybe they fell off of a ladder who knows you know i whatever i shot themselves in the face hung themselves on a fucking hook you know or a noose with a hook you know all sorts of things i'm not here to judge you know how you choose to meet your maker the point is i'm i'm not squeamish is the point what do i find this guy you know i see this shoe. I'm realizing like, oh, something's

that bug. There's bugs around. I've gotten used to bugs. You know, unless they're huge and they're like, you know, some kind of cockroach or whatever you call them, I'm not going to freak out. I'm not going to lose my shit. You know, I used to be as a child or afraid of bugs. I've grown in my adult life accustomed to them. But there's movement in the corner of my eye, so I have to go and look into like inside this shoe and like it's a i don't know what you call what i saw i guess they were baby mice but they're you know they were larva state they seemed like they were in a larva state

like like a little hot little cocktail hot dog weeners were moving around and uh it was disgusting it was really gross i'm not uh thrilled that was a part of this experience I got to move out. Can I get out of it? I threw the shoe out in the garbage. I had a garbage bag ready. And I just threw it out. I just fucking threw it in the garbage.

And I don't know what happened to the mice. I mean, I assume they're used to being in garbage. They eat my garbage all the time, apparently. They like to live in my garbage. So now they're living in the garbage truck. And perhaps in a dump. I mean, does the garbage truck smash them?

I, you know, maybe. Maybe I'm the garbage. guilty party of a massacre i don't know i don't i don't feel that bad i mean you know i'm not a guy i'm not i'm a sociopath i don't go hurting ducks mallards and fucking different kinds of raccoons i don't cut the wings off of fucking birds and then watch them you know flow around the water that's not that's something the serial killer does i don't do that but you know i i don't what you want me to do is you want me to like cut open the my dead my history I'm going to smash it.

I don't want to smash it. I don't want to smash a little baby mouth. I'm sorry that makes me a fucking, you know, whatever, less than a man in your eyes. I'm sorry if that makes me not, you know, not masculine enough for this fucking podcast. I don't want to smash a baby mouse in the fucking face. I'll do it if I had to. If it came down to it, if it came down, I'll do it. But, you know, I didn't have to.

So I was put in a bag. I just threw the shoe out. you know, in the perfect world that had that shoe as a backup shoe we're like to keep as a backup shoe but I'm not gonna

you know I'm gonna wear this shoe as these baby mice are shitting and coming and pissing into it's not for me I can afford you know

I'm not a rich man but I have some I can afford I have a job like money to afford a shoe that isn't full of baby mouse come

the fuck is wrong with me I got a fucking you know I just gotta get this fucking cleaning done and I gotta move out move out my girlfriend I'm spending most of my

time over there anyway you know fucking cohabitating on the i don't know what you call it part time it's just how it works you know you just fucking end up staying at the nicer of the two places and it's you know so that's what we're doing and you know i haven't been around here as much so you know i haven't been you know hasn't been bothering me to clean it i mean i don't know of just these dead these baby mice or something to do with my lung infection i mean i don't think i think it was more the uh the vaporizer that was using Yeah, I've been on the medical roller coaster of sorts For the past couple months

I've had a Let's see Well, first I had a flu which led directly into a leg infection Which the doctors, I went to with urgent care The second or third day of the flu Because I have this fucking giant My shin just turns into like a red It's full of fluid

I wasn't sure if it was pus or not But it's, you know I don't think it was a pussing, but it's just red, it's hot, it's hard, it's hard to touch. It's fucking, it's got a scaly thing going on. This thing, you go to the urgent care, you go to the dog, and they fuck, you know, which is these doctors, you know, when I was a kid, we just went to fucking, you know,

pediatricians or whatever the fucking regular doctors, I guess. These urgent cares have been popping up for the past 15 years. And at first I liked them. Even though I had great health care at the county, I would go to these urgent care. because it was just, I don't want if I can have to, like, be accountable for picking a doctor. That's a weird. I don't know if you're a good, what makes a good doctor.

I don't fucking know. I mean, like, I went to a doctor for years and my mother went to, and he seemed, I guess he was fine. I didn't think he was great. I'm not going to name him here and call him out, but he was a doctor for old people, which my mom had, I think, accidentally went to. he was like every time he went into his uh his office there was just people on the brink of death 90 years old and i guess i guess it's and i went there i'm like oh i guess is what you get most people going to the doctor are old which might even be true i don't know but the point is but this guy specialized in like geriatric fucking you know like pulling like you know fucking

the kidneys out of a fucking 85 year old man just so we could fucking piss in the middle the night. I don't know what old people have to do. They have to have their organs rearranged on a weekly basis because, you know, their fucking prostate is just burrowing into their fucking colon. Like terrible thing. The body's not meant to live into 90 years old. So I'm sure there's old people out there. I've seen the insides of old people. I mean, most of the people at the morgue, if you really went by numbers, which is old, a lot of old women, if I remember correctly, plenty of old men, but a lot of old women just smelled like piss. I guess because they pissed themselves, but, you know, just dry.

Their skin's very dry. Your skin's just not made to be old. It's lost. It's like effectiveness. It becomes like a chalky kind of sticky thing. That's like a like a paste. Like your skin is just like dry paste and covered in like bruises. I remember the first one of the first cases or whatever you know, cases I guess you call it.

I remember it was an old person at the morgue very early on my tenure there. And I said to the doctor, hey, doc, is this a case of elder abuse? Because this old lady looked like she had been, you know, beaten with sticks for hours by a gang of young hooligans just beating this old woman over and over with heavy sticks. And she said, no, this is just what happens when you're old. They bruise when they fucking, you know, bump into the chair. You get a bruise that looks like you were in a fight with a. Muhammad Ali or the fool of the fuck

So you know This is what happens with your role So he's fucking I'm sitting there with these people In my doctor's office back in the day And they're just covered in bruises We couldn't I couldn't tell at the time But it's probably covered in bruises

Every time you see an old person Just know they're just covered in fucking bruises Terrible you got to be careful I mean they could fall I mean if they fall they're done My great grandpa has stroked stroke didn't kill him He fucking fell And the fall just fucking

he got an infection in his fall or whatever the fuck i mean he was old he was 95 probably from goche i don't know he came over after the war he was too old to be in the war so i don't know what the hell he was even about he was just probably some farmer for a little farming cheap goats what the fuck the chocolate maybe a chocolate farmer is they have a thing dairy chocolate whatever but he died from an infection in his hip i think after a stroke next you know so his doctor he's just specializing in old people that's who i used to go to i didn't even have a the you know the the uh hutspur to get my own doctor i was just like fuck this so when these urgent care

started popping up you you know a bunch of years ago i was like great this is great you walk in you give them their insurance card and they just they only ask questions you don't have to like talk to them about your past they don't know your mom they can't fucking bring up the fact that one time one time you were getting a shot when you were like 10 years old and he had dirty underwear on. Your mom noticed and she yelled at you. They don't know that. The urgent care.

It's fine. It's just, it's anonymous. I like that. It's like going to a prostitute, but for a doctor, you know, it's like a whore doctor.

A doctor, horror. You know, whatever. I'm going to try to stigmatize prostitution. But I like it. I like just going in there. I mean,

I have respiratory infection once you go in there to give me the fucking, my insurance covered a whole nebulizer. There's a whole, There's this tube that goes into your fucking mouth and this fucking machine. I'm just sitting there with it like I'm the king of Siam. Just fucking, like I'm Bain, like a king Bain. It's great. I loved it.

I loved, for years, I was going to these urgent cares whenever I got sick. And I didn't get a fuck. It was nice. You know, it all catches up in the end, I guess. Because I'm going, you know, I have this like thing. And I'm going. And, you know, they give me, you know, a prescription for antibiotics. and you know like from working at the morgue

I have a certain appreciation of like you don't want to let things go too far you know infection can turn into something pretty nasty pretty quickly so you don't want to just let it fester on your skin you know this could just you know turn to a clot and you know block up your heart so I go like I'm off whatever I'm off work anyway because I have the flu so I go two days later to urgent care

because these these antibiotics aren't working my like still fucking you know you take antibiotics usually after the first day or two it's like you know you get some relief it's some indication of the thing is working and guys like you know looking at me like I'm an asshole and what you hear two days later it's a seven day thing I'm like yeah but you know I'm still seeing this fucking I'm not seeing any indication that's getting better usually it is like you were doctor so that's me this fucking shit I'm my a doctor and I didn't use to yell at doctors I still haven't gotten to that point yet I'm going to point out I'm going to start yelling at doctors because they really are just schmucks i mean if you're in an urgent care i mean

you make a lot of money we'll get to that in a minute but they apparently make they make good dough but i mean it's just you're the kind of fucking scumbagger works there you probably i mean there's some nice people i'm gonna play but they really this guy with a real piece of garbage just fucking trying to stonewall me yeah i knew this fucking the problem with you if you're not if you end up my eggs aren't working they're idiots if they tell you something though This doesn't work right away. Not to cue you right away, but it doesn't do something right away. So whatever.

So I go a week, nothing, nothing's changed. I finally go back, and they're like, well, you mean nothing's changed? And I went to you two days later. So they start giving me an injection of antibiotics, a different antibiotic. I don't know. Because I have something called, they think it's cellulitis or the fuck it's called. It's some hoarse shit. They give me this injection.

They make an appointment for me to go get, you know, fucking, what do you call it? The fucking, uh, what the thing the babies do? When you, with the ultrasound, you get an ultrasound done, the babies don't do it. The doctor doesn't, you know, because you have a baby inside you. You want to take a look at it and, you know, see if it's a boy or girl, just want to look at the dick. I don't know. I mean, the whole ultrasound. We got to make sure this blob looks correct, I guess.

I don't, they really need that. What are they going to do? They got to fucking abort it otherwise? What are they going to give it a fucking, you know, and just? injection while you're in there it seems odd or whatever but I got one done by an old Polish not old Polish you know younger Polish woman she wasn't

bad she fucking you know professional wise I mean she was she was you know whatever she was a nice woman she fucking I guess she spoke English she didn't speak much but she gave me an ultrasound on my leg turn it was just full of water I don't know the injection

worked pretty well they fucking for a month or two I was alright and then all of a sudden a couple weeks ago it starts coming back this infection because they told me it's gonna take a while to heal

it did you know but it went away slowly but you know it was going and I don't have ever fully went away and I'll have nowhere a couple weeks ago

it was just fucking starts coming back and the same fucking day I got a lung infection like a respiratory thing starting it's like I don't know if they're related I mean you would think

they were they come the same fucking day you think they are you think they you know there's some connection between the fact that you're just wheezing

some high pitch like a fucking micrachines stuck in a vacuum cleaner and then fucking anyway so I go to the fucking urgent care and they say they look at my leg and they say no you have to go with ER now I'm like what are you talking about the ER

because now it could be something called where they go Mercer they could be Mercer which is everyone's afraid of Mercer apparently in America Mercer is is staff infection but it won't go away with antibiotics it's like I anti-biatic resistant

infection. So you've got to be careful about Mercer. And then what they'll go to the fucking ER. And it was very pleasant. I mean, look, there was people freaking out. There was an, it was a guy

yelling that he wanted to go to the fucking psych ward. He was, he was threatening people waving his dick around. And there was just people crying. It was kind of like Jacob's ladder. Like people, felt like the ninth circle of hell and people are just you know just in agony a woman screaming

like what you know like the doctor came over and he's like i guess he inspected her but he looked under her scourges like why don't you put a curtain up like i have no don't you have any shame i'm naked i'm naked i'm naked and like it was terrible like this is like people's just invasive and it felt like the middle ages but i had a fine time i got i got him very quickly i don't know if my insurance is good maybe or just because you know i'm a pleasant guy i'm very nice and sweet i played the sweet boy whole routine and i just yeah hey and i gave him the information you know when he asked me this this guy came over and he was very tall man nice doctor and uh he you know he when he wanted to know i i called the urgent care clinic to

find out what medicine they gave me so i gave that information to him he seemed very happy so i don't I mean, I feel like I was floating above this ER, like, you know, I felt guilty, like Survivor's guilt because I had a fun, not fun time, but I mean, I was there for four hours. They wheel you around, first of all. I mean, after the initial thing, they look at my leg, he's like, yeah, that's not Mercer. My mom keeps texting me as a murder. You tell you, you, look, it's a balancing act. You know, you want to tell you, you want to just, you know, do it on your own, but, you know,

you're in ER, so it's like, you know, if it does come up later, you don't be like, oh, why are you keeping secret? So I tell, hey, don't worry, I'm in the ER, just, you know. And then, you know, and she didn't freak out, but the text over and over. So I'm explaining, and she's going, and she means well, but she's like, is it Mercer? Is it Mercer? And, like, so I have to relay these questions. And the guy's like, it's not Mercer, but he's also the one explaining to me.

He's like, it's just, like, it's just, like, stop. And, like, which isn't the most scientific thing, but I get it. It's like, it's kind of, like, you know, when I'm at work, I don't fucking, like, when some produce, I'm doing some of, you know, prep work or some editing thing. Some producers like, Yeah, can you just use an audio filter? It's like, no, shut out, shut up. Just leave me alone.

I'm like, you don't want to explain their job or some schmuck who's just, you know, if you, I don't care if you work on cars or if you fucking deliver babies. If you're delivering a baby, do you really want to explain like, oh, is that my baby's, you know, balls? No, that's the placenta.

Shut the fuck up. You know, I've held the placenta, by the way. They don't look like, I mean, they look like they could be detached. They're very wide. If you saw a placenta And if that was what your balls looked like You can't be in trouble

So But I could see someone asking Because you wouldn't know A placenta's purple At least when they're dead That's a thing I know a lot I've seen a lot of things

But they're always on dead people I don't know if a living placenta is purple That's a weird thing If I ever got into a situation When I was in a cocktail party And I was like with a doctor And I'm like, oh that placenta That's really purple huh?

I mean, regardless of the fact that he would just, you know, think it was odd that apropos of nothing, I'm bringing up a placenta. But, I mean, that's put a pin in that. But, you know, the embarrassment I would feel when he was like, well, no, it's usually red. I mean, was this a dead baby you were looking at? And I'd be like, well, yeah, because, you know, I worked at a morgue. And he would just be disgusted with me. And I'm not going to let some fucking doctor judge me, but still, I would get it. Because he would just, you know, why would that?

I'd be pretending like to be on a doctoral because that's probably what's happening. I'm probably like there pretending to be a doctor to impress a woman or some sort or just to gain social status in some cocktail party and some doctor's going to call me out

and I have to admit that all my medical knowledge comes from you know working at the morgue and dealing with the dead which uh you know fair play you found me out but he's also I mean it probably I probably want to work in how to get the little placenta also placenta.

I'm not just going to blur it out over. I mean, probably we'll be eating patte. I'll be like, oh, this patte reminds me of the color of a newborn placenta. At which point he'd be like, well, if this was a newborn placenta, you fat fuck, it'd be dead. And then we would have to, yeah, so pattee, you got to steer clear of patte. I mean, yeah, pattee give me good in moderation. You don't need too much. But you don't see that much of cocktail parties.

I mean, at least not at, I used to work a lot of weddings. You didn't see that at the cocktail hour. Maybe at more sophisticated parties where they should, you know, read about books. We're digressing, though. So at the ER, I have pleasant experience overall. They wheeled me around, which was embarrassing. Because I'm on this, like, long bed. And then, like, the guy would come over and be like,

oh, we have to take an x-ray room. And I'm like, I could just walk, dude. And he's like, no, I guess it's like a medical, like an insurance thing. so I'm just this like I feel like this fucking fat piece of garbage being wheeled around the goddamn ER while people are crying people are crying and like in misery like I'm there in like just in my hoodie like not even like in a gown or anything just being wheeled around like this fat man being wheeled around an ER like I'm the guy from Doom or Dune the movie Dune where the guy who floats around like that only is the wheels I'm like crank from Ninja Turtles just some just white the white fat king of the er it's just a lot of racial content i mean i don't mean the racial thing but i feel like i feel racially sensitive because a lot of the people you know they're not white and it's like i feel like you know am i just being it's it's racial guilt or whatever i'm not trying to be the s j w right here i'm just saying there is if you're not

sensitive to that i mean you don't have to say you don't feel guilty be not sensitive to it you're kind of being psychopath to the optics at least i mean it's just you know i'm not above being or stabbed by you know whatever people kill me people should you mean if i was it on the other shoe i'd stab me so whatever so they're wheeling me the x-ray room and like a couple times and like you know for different x-rays they give me a blood test apparently i'm in objectively good health i guess you mean you know my my blood levels i don't have diabetes uh i don't have uh cholesterol problems or anything you know but i have these fucking respiratory thing which they just they gave me like a nebulizer again they gave me a fucking the breathing tubes or whatever you

know just a breathing in albuterol and uh so the leg thing whatever i mean they gave me a bunch they give me like IV antibiotics and they give me two different antibiotics take home i got a fucking uh albuter inhaler prescription they pick up at the right aid and uh long story short week goes by the leg gets better the lung thing's still there and i'm going like to different I go back to the ER, but not to the ER itself, because it's expensive, but I go to like to a free clinic. And the doctor told me, get yourself, this is the day when I was the ER. He told me, get yourself a primary physician. When he first asked me, like, who's your primary physician?

Like, ah, how are you going to urgent care? And he's like, why do you go to urgent care? Like, I just don't feel like you need that because you need the, it makes sense. Like, you need someone who sees you every few months, so there's some consistency. It's not just an endless stream of psychopath doctors looking at you and going, just take this. and take that i mean he he implied i don't know i didn't want to press him for details because he was a real good guy you don't want to be it was kind of like you don't want to be over eager with a girl you like or guy you like you know i had a crush in this doctor but not like a

sexual crush but i kind of wanted to be him i think in a weird way i don't want to be a doctor but i kind of wanted he was a tall black guy he was a cool i don't know i mean i just if i could like swap you know shoes of him for a day i mean i think he he seemed really cool but and fun. Like, he was, like, you could have a little sitcom about him, like, some cool doctor. They would just, like, help fat, white guys in the ER or other people, too. But, you know, like, they could have a movie about us. Like, you know, I should approach him. I should mention a script.

But, um, I like, I don't want to, like, be an idiot in front of him. So I'm like, yeah, yeah, you're right and all this. Uh, I'll go get a primary physician. Oh, but he was telling me he, like, you know, these urgent cares, you know, he's like, oh, like, these places are fucking terrible. You know, it's like, you know, the pay good. I'm like, I'm like, what, they pay good? Oh, I can pay, I can pay my, I can retire in 10 years.

I'm like, oh, why don't you, why don't you do it then? He's like, oh, they're fucking terrible. And that's true of them elaborate, but I mean, I assume it's just like, I mean, I guess because you're just seeing people all the time and not really following up. And it's just kind of like a real cattle call on a meat market. Probably just was seeing all this disgusting meat on people's bodies and just not even getting the chance to like observe it i don't know i mean it seems like the er's not great either but uh he seemed to have a real low opinion of the urgent care but they make good money that's the thing they make

great money apparently so like i'm i have no i have no uh i don't know what's the word uh you would think like oh of course you getting shitty care but i mean i got it must be so terrible i'm not sure i have i don't know what the hell is the you'd think if there'd be enough guys because there was guys at the morgue from like other dursts. jurisdictions like doctors who were coming on the weekends to like fill in and like do autopsies because they pay good money for per diem work and they just do it it was like this guy had like you know kids and the wife and he's just there on the weekends just cutting into fat obese people and people with tuberculosis and just doing it and like maybe maybe he liked it maybe he just hated

his wife and he hated his kid maybe his kid didn't respect them um maybe his kid would say stuff Like, why don't you, why aren't you a real doctor? Why do you only, why do you only, you know, do doctor shit for people who you can't save? And he would say, you don't understand this is a necessary part of society. And the kid would just be like, shut up. You give me an Xbox, you fuck. And then the doctor, you know, I mean, look, if it was me, I would have fucking, you know, you ring the kid's bell maybe.

But this doctor, you know, he's got a lot to lose. So he just fucking says, fuck it. I'll just get my fucking, you know, Porsche Cayenne SUV going on to. There's a morgue I work The other morgue Not the one I work at usually But there's another one that pays me money I just fucking fuck the weekend

Let's do this It's fun times And uh In that way maybe These these deserts care guys You know you'd think there'd be some guys like that Just saying fuck it It's giving that

Gereen that cheddar Just giving that fucking cheese That's fucking Oh that cheese Um So the The leg thing went away after about a week again

but the long thing then it's some of this respiratory thing now I quit smoking a while ago a few months I've been on that jewel kick I like the jewel it's enjoyable I guess

I mean I don't know if you're not from like the jewel it's that rectangular black e-cigarette it's kind of sleek looking it's kind of like one of those monolith things from 2001 of Space Odyssey almost

but small of course. I'm not sucking on some big metal dick you know, whatever. I like it because it's, you know, you can smoke it at work. I mean, I'm in the middle of a pit of people, but still I just smoke it all day. Probably too much. It's probably smoking this goddamn thing too much. I mean, I don't know how many people out there are in these things. They're inconsistent. Sometimes you're getting like a batch, I mean, it's supposed to be yellow and you get a nice, like, fucking hit out of it

and you feel that you're doing something. You accomplish something with your day when you smoke it. And then there's, you know, you get batches of them. I smoked a mint, and it'd be clear. And it feels like you're smoking nothing. But you wouldn't get like a nicotine craze afterwards. So I guess it did work. But my point is, I don't know what's up with it.

It's very sketchy. And I ended up to stop smoking the jewel, you know, once the hospital thing came along. And, yeah, it seemed to be bad. better. So I think it was that. Because in the interim, I'd gone back to the doctor, the doctor who saw me originally at the ER. He happened to be working in the clinic randomly. And he was like, what are you doing here? I was like, oh, you know, didn't you get a primary care physician? I was embarrassed because, you know, like I said, I wanted to be this guy or, you know,

at least be part of a buddy team with him. And I don't think he felt the same way. But he did seem to like me on some level. I think he respected me at least. he said to me you gotta do that but I mean I'm like what do you think this could be and you think oh it might be emphysema and I'm like wait emphysema like the thing with the old people with the tank or the guy I'm breaking bad the old man

he's like you know he's like that can't be he's like ah it's different types you just got smoking the jewel thing I did and I you know I'm fine I'm fine I mean I went and got a primary doctor I don't like it very much he seemed very rude she didn't dismissive

they made me pissing the cup which I guess is not that's not the rude part but you know you go in her room it's just a patient exam room but the bed with the sheet on it is just you know full of files and I don't know I think you I think she has a regular practice

and this is like her clinic in Bushwick so it's not great either I need to find a better but you talk to people I went and found the people at work the most like put together nicest looking like you know people who would throw a nice party

you think and like you know have nice apartments and you know those people and ask you have a recommendation for a doctor and they said no they don't see a doctor now that's possible because i don't but i mean i think they take better care we all have insurance there you know it's like i'm not like pooling a but you know a random pool in the subway but i think they just don't want me to see their doctor they don't want me around they don't want to be under the weather and have me with my fucking sores and my leg sores and my respiratory things in their waiting room while they're trying to get you know whatever treatment they're getting

and I don't blame though I mean this does feel like a mad max scenario or we're all just fighting over a scarce resource like health care but if anyone has any recommendations for a good a good primary care doctor

in the Bushwick area you know you can hit me up on on you know Instagram or Twitter you know message me at RayComp you know let me know because I'm not crazy about the one they have now they're fine I mean, I made an appointment, they want me to see a pulmonologist, which is like a lung doctor,

and I couldn't get an appointment until like January 17th. I mean, this is two weeks ago I went. January 17th, I mean, which seems absurd. I mean, it felt, like this thing felt like an emergency. I was wheezing like, the noises coming out of my lungs, just like from normal breathing, which is terrible. And then I went back and, I actually went outside when the doctor gave me the referral, and then tried to make an appointment

and they got that appointment and went back inside like hey doc the 17th I mean is that something can we do better than this and then she's like we'll try this you know this hospital she gave him the card I think we had a while to get a hold of them

and finally it was like oh we can get you in March I don't know what happens to people who have I mean my longest turns out I think I'm fine I mean I stopped smoking the jewel and like I'm pretty much

pretty much done I mean there's occasional wheeze I think I'm on the way to good proper health but people what if you have a real lung problem i mean i guess you go to the er but they still just they tell you to go a pulmonologist like what are people doing with their we need just get a single pair of health care i think i mean you tell me this this libertarian sob story about how you need to have freedom and i mean look we've allowed an entire apparatus this this

this medical insurance apparatus to just root itself into our I mean they provide nothing they provide they're not insurance I mean the insurance I mean the entire idea of insurance is just like I mean

that's to do with actuarial accounting and the idea that you know the probably you know based on the probability of you know whether X occurring you pay a premium like a car like car accidents like you know based on certain factors your risk factor

is XYZ, and, you know, and based on this accounting database we have, we determine that, you know, all these risk factors you have, that your risk will insure you, you know, for this amount a month, basically, or whatever the fuck it works. I mean, there's some kind of science to it of a probability curve, or there's a reason you pay, you know, like, there's a reason your rates go up. I mean, if you get a speeding ticket, yeah, you're more of a risk factor that actually makes sense. Okay, fine. But health insurance is like, Pallinger, you get you as soon as you get health insurance you go to the doctor you go to the doctor and you start going the doctor like no one is like using it like in case they get cancer like yeah that happens too

but i mean you can't run i mean they're basically just this like apparatus that exists over the top of the normal medical uh apparatus and you know they basically dictate cost to the hospitals because if the hospital doesn't go along with their cost they just won't cover and then the hospital is stuck, like, you know, I don't know, not getting paid for at all for whoever goes into their ER. It's all very funky. And I'm not going to say that the, you know, I'm sure the insurance company has some kind of rationale. Well, we get screwed out of the X, Y, and Z, so therefore we have to charge this amount. And it's like, yeah, but there's just no reason for them to exist.

I mean, if you look at the quality of health care that most people are getting, you can't tell me it's better than England. I mean, I went through it. I have good insurance. It doesn't seem that much. I mean, is England? I've heard in England if it's really bad, then you're kind of, you know, all right, so you want to go, you get like supplemental insurance. Sure. But, I mean, like, most, I mean, I feel like 90% of people's problems would be better.

Just get a single pay. We're paying so much more anyway. It's, I don't even want to get to a whole. This is, this is a classic example of, like, this whole libertarian. streak of like, well, let's just privatize certain, let's privatize prisons while we still fund them with taxpayer dollars. It's like, it doesn't make any sense. Like, you can have, like, you can have anarcho-capitalism. I mean, I don't agree with that. I'm not saying you should, but the difference between private entities and like the benefits that you were a stall about them, like, stole about

them, and then, like, having privatized, you know, like, like, like, what, like, Enron with the fucking deregulation with energy back in like a 2000 era like they basically just deregulated energy and let private companies come in and like auction off energy from state to state so they were just like

take all the energy from like you know states that had it and sell it to ones that need it more and like because you have like it's kind of like you have all these fixed these fixed these fixed economic environments and you like remove one latch and you let all

the fucking shit flow through that latch. So like, well, this state has like, you know, a cost fixed thing, but we can stick it, we still take their energy and sell it. So fuck them. It's just, you can't privatize one state of time and one kernel

at a time. Like, I'm not saying, you know, we should go socialist, of course, but I mean, there's a, when you talk about the rationale of like libertarianism, it's like, we, you want to go back to the gold standard, you're an idiot. Because, you know, what's going to happen? if we go back to the goal. And you tell me Murray Rothbard and like there's a way to privatize it.

You know, it's a way to de-de-like to de-inflate the money supply gradually over time. And I'm sure there is. But I mean, as soon as you stop expanding the economy with, you know, inflationary spending, it's going to hurt someone. It's going to hurt the taxpayer on a surface level. But people are just not smart enough, educated enough, engaged enough to understand economics. And any, I mean, I'm an economist, but I mean, it's to understand it at all. And to like, and also to cope with like, oh, maybe we should like, you know, take the pain for a little bit because it'll be better in the long run. No, of course is not going to do that. So whoever the point is whoever fucking voted this in, whoever you voted in who said, let's deregulate, you know, strengthen the gold standard and you know, strengthening the gold standard and, you know, strengthen the dollar.

They're going to get voted out of office in two years. It's done. It's never going to happen. You know, when's going to stick to the plan? So, like, what do you, I don't know what perfect world you're trying to envision where we're just, like, you know, everyone's just, but, no, we're not going along with this. We're not, people think I'm a pessimist. I'm not a pessimist, all right?

I'm not some kind of dark. I'm not Chris Hedges. I mean, although I think that guy's right most of the time. Or if you don't know Chris Hedges, look them up on YouTube. It's like a minister slash journalist slash, you know, the end is near. truth sayer whatever you want to call him but uh i'm not him i'm i'm not all doom and gloom i'm just saying the people are too dumb the average person i wish they were i don't think they're fundamentally too dumb i think everyone i think everyone's got enough intelligence to go around

i think everyone's intelligent enough that if they actually were engaged that they'd be fine but the problem is you know what do you think these guys does that by accident no Edward Bernays and his whole crew of contemporaries and subsequent generations, the public relations industry and also, and therefore the marketing guys and the advertising guys went along with that, made sure that, you know, the people have been conditioned for, like, you know, a better part of a century now, I guess, yeah, a better part of a century. To just basically be a consumer to, I mean, we have it good. Look, I have fucking, I'm looking right now, I'm in my room, I got four different fucking video game

consoles. I don't need any of them. I mean, I could get away of one PS4. I got a Wii you, we've got a switch, I've got one of these retro pie things, got PS3. I'm just saying, I mean, I have my TV, my Amazon Fire, Steak, I got a fire tablet, I got my MacBuy. I mean, I got a little technology

up the ass, you know, right up my ass. Just getting fuck constantly by technology. It's nice. I'm not above it. I mean, you know, I like the new shit. I like the new fucking gadgets. I'm on, you know, I'm on an early adopter. But, you know, it's just what are you going to do you are you going to become a what's going to be your

motivator without buying shit you could be a outdoors guy i mean i could be a i should play more sports i should go out in the woods i should be a fucking we should all go in the woods more i mean eagle scout why don't i go out in the woods more the point is why am i on the tent of technology it's it feels good and they've given it to it looks so i'm a guy who i'm already engaged and i'm getting fucked you i'm not above it so i feel bad but these kids are out there they got these iPhones they got these fucking gadgets and you're expecting them to care about luig von mises or you know the the fucking why the laffer curve is fucked you know why supply side economics is bullshit or why on the other side of it you know the

Keynesian economics is bullshit. They don't give up. They're trying to get laid and they're trying to, you know, get some kind of fucking gadget going. I mean, you want your dick to go into something. You want your tits to go into something. You want your posse to go into something. I don't blame you.

Getting laid's nice and all the other shit's nice. And like, you know, really, what are the odds that anyone's going to fix it? So just get, just come, maybe have some kids. That really is the answer to happy is. just come as often as you can consensually and with respect you know have some kids when you when you want to take care of the kids give them some fucking give them some candy give some xboxes fucking it's not going to get much better i mean we are on the verge of a new year though it's the year's been kind of crazy i'm throwing a new year's party is the last minute

party uh we got three types of cheeses but you didn't think that was was going to happen three different types of cheeses from the guy who has two types of infections it's not you know we got brie we got cheddar and we got what's the other one uh fuck it was some kind of smoke smoke guda which i'm excited about because i'm not sure i've ever had that before and we got those you know those nice crackers um you know those car water crackers they call them or whatever and they come we didn't get the assorted box they didn't have that in stock because we came last minute. But I like, I don't know if you haven't had these

car crackers, or they call them biscuits, because they're English, you got to try. I mean, you don't have to, I'm not saying you got to be some kind of fucking pomp in circumstance, fucking, you know, wearing some fucking, you know, a graduation uniform while you're eating breakfast kind of guy.

Because there's an, I'm some professor schmuck. But you can have a nice, you know, cheese and cracker dish. I mean, you can try. I mean, look, I have baby mice in a shoe in my apartment like I still enjoy a quality cracker or biscuit I prefer my favorites

the whole wheat actually tastes like a cookie I mean but it's really it goes really well with like a brie like a creamy cheese it's like a wheat cracker it's a recommendation I gave to you go eat a brie on a wheat cracker and

yeah I mean that's really all you need for the new year we got some Perseco we got some two types of Toastitos, some salsa, we might order a pizza, we're going to have a Nintendo Switch party going on. You know, yeah, the world's ending. Yeah, global warming is turning, you know, the axis of the earth on its end. I mean, they're flooding Tokyo probably. What's flooding?

I mean, New Orleans flooded already, right? I mean, most of the country has been flooded one, Tennessee. I think I have flooded recently I mean a year or two ago shit's getting bad I mean I Trump's we're already not in all the different global warming agreements

you know the UN stuff I think Trump's pulled us out of a bunch of them or compromise or status in them and uh you can't blame Trump for everything but he's sure hasn't helped this you can blame him for a lot I mean I don't think he's a great

good president I mean I think he's you know he's ridiculous he's a ridiculous man is he the world i mean look the world is does seem to be descending into neo-fascism and uh what are we going to do about that i don't look i mean you have to look at the

you can't just go oh everything you're throwing the fascist world around is he of nazi i mean no he's not quite as bad as hitler or even like i mean look is he as bad as hitler or even like i mean look is he as bad as hit when Hitler was fully realized no I don't think you could say that at all I mean that would be ridiculous let's be fair but that being said

he is using the tactics of fascism which is basically to you know a strong sense of nationalism an appeal to nationalism is one thing to love your country I mean I don't love my country I think honestly the American dream the real American dream

the real American idea is that you know your country they're not important you know liberty is the important thing if you look at what they're talking about and freedom and the you know a relatively educated

middle class of people that kind of you know can stand up to the to the machinations of you know leaders who want to fucking you know take more power than they were granted and call bullshit on that we fucking we don't let them that's kind of the idea it's the experiment

of America and it doesn't do with loving like loving the country of America America doesn't mean anything oh my grandpa died for it doesn't matter that's not the point your grandpa died I mean I'm sure he thinks he died for freedom and good for him

and you know thanks for service but I mean the reality is I mean he didn't really die for freedom I mean he died for you know mostly interim I mean World War II were they really fighting for freedom and they were fighting for you know European freedom maybe I mean you know interest I mean are you fighting for freedom every time you fight I mean we did get hit by

Tokyo, but I mean, you know, we also kind of provoke that. It's complicated. It's not all like one or the other, but it's certainly not, my point is when you hear, you know, when this is heavy appeal to nationalism, it should always, it should always disturb you. I mean, the fact that the kids are saying that political allegiance should disturb you. It should, it's a weird thing. Why are you pledging, first of all, allegiance? Allegiance is not something you pledge, like to, in a free system. society like I pledge allegiance to a flag or an icon it's it's like you're pledging to an icon not to an ideal not to the constitution but to the flag everyone's got a flag

everyone's got a fucking flag or flag represents blood that was spilled oh real unique no it's like this is this can be any country I mean if it's on national anthem it's a it's a battle it's a war song the song about the war and the flag was still standing and nothing There's nothing to do with freedom. That's nothing to do with America. It's a song about, you know, any country you could have had in our national anthem.

There's nothing unique about, you know, I mean, if you want a great national anthem, it should be something like, oh, we have the right to free speech, and you know, the guns, and we have no search and seizure. Like, that's not as catchy, though. Not as catchy.

No one wants to hear about search and seizure. Oh, hey, B, corpus. can't suspend it like oh my god our freedom we're gonna do something about slavery even though we still have it right now like something like that like a not to like because it was perfect we had slavery but we got rid of it and like you know but I mean address it in the song not just yeah not just thing about war and just horses it's nonsense it's for children and you're defending it

I mean I'm trying I didn't wasn't playing it into the Kaepernick thing but yeah I mean this flag who gives a shit about the flag you morons i don't know if anyone's listening this who cares about a flat it's a fuck it's about it represents blood that was spilled this country's about freedom in the in the in the goddamn constitution that this any country could fucking have people dying and a fucking song about war if that's what you think this country is and we're no better than anyone else so fuck off the only reason we could be better i'm not say we are we're not the only reason we could be better is because this idea is that we kind of didn't invent but we kind of

kind of did popularize and we were kind of the standout you know symbol of it for years for decades perhaps even centuries i mean we kind of took the enlightenment the enlightenment and ran with it um the french tried to and uh yeah it kind of their revolution kind of went the sour and then came back it's complicated i guess they have a republic now but no you know it was looking to the french i mean and yeah we could talk about the cold war being uh you know kind of instigated by Western powers to boost military sales and, you know, the military strength of America, sure, but the end of the day, we still were a symbol of freedom to people of that mind. I mean, not everything is black and white. You know, we were kind of looked at as, you know,

a symbol of Western freedom and Western democracy. And so, you know, we had an opportunity to be better. I don't think we were. I don't think, you know, if you look at how we handled the end of the Cold War, It's like, oh, we could have, we let Russia get fucked by itself and circumstance and, you know, basically the parasites came in, the vultures came in. So, you know, are you surprised that guy like Putin came out of there? No, I'm not, but, you know, whatever. Point is, there's a flag. Give a fuck about the flag. Gives this shit.

It's tribalism. I mean, look, tribalism, if you're into it, sure. If you need, if you feel like, you know, I care about the people around. me and uh in my general vicinity and like you know i don't care what we do or what why we's you know if we belong here or not or we belong over there or not but you know it's just stick with your team that is what it is i mean i at least you're being consistent but that's what it is i mean that's what you know when you appeal to nationalism that's what it is so when you have you know got like trump going out there and the other thing is you know other using the other which

you know in the case of hitler was the jews i've not I'm not sure who mostly used, but I think the communists he used in a lot of cases. But, you know, it's clearly, you know, Trump is the immigrants, and the whole border wall thing and the appeal of security. And look, I'm not saying that, you know, when I look at the arguments against Trump, sometimes it's like, well, there should be probably some, you don't want to give anyone credit, you know, but anyone credit on the side of Trump. But, like, it's instinctually, you know, this seems wrong.

But, I mean, you see the case. counterarguments. I mean, I'm not going to say there should be no security in the border. I mean, because I think most countries do have that. So, you know, when people talk about there shouldn't be any, it's kind of like, I get why there's, look, there's always going to be, especially in this country, there's always going to be the liberal side of the argument, not really helping, helping out. Because, you know, it's, you know, if you listen to some of these people, it's like, you know, the fact that anyone wants any kind of, uh, border makes them a Nazi. It's like, no, I mean, like, I mean, I, I do think it's kind of usually a, red herring and something people are pointing to to deflect from other economic issues and to bolster their fucking political party or their they're kind of you know grip on power but you know doesn't mean that objectively that you know an appeal to security is necessarily always wrong but in this case i mean come on this is this wall's ridiculous for most part um it's full of lies too i mean the whole process is full of lies i mean i don't know if anyone if anyone believed that he was can get Mexico to pay for it, but it's clearly not.

He's shutting the government down because the Democrats won't pay for it. And, yeah, I watched the conference, you know, was two, three weeks ago when he's telling Pelosi and Schumer, like, you know, I'm going to own this fucking shutdown. And of course, it's a Democratic shutdown now. I mean, the guy is so

transparent in the way he does it, that it's almost as if the transparency is the point. If the point is to like almost no way I say fuck you I know you know what we're doing and we're gonna do it anyway and it's

that next level of like kind of almost like just make forcing you to submit which doesn't seem plow I mean the guy does seems just to be kind of a of his rocker and perhaps going crazy and also just you know

full bluster but I mean it does it feels sometimes these things fit that way like not everything is a new world order and the go in the deep state of actually doing you know aligning together to kind of you know come at you but if sometimes it kind of manifests that way anyway and it's uh it doesn't bode well for 2018 but i'm throwing a party with three different cheeses okay i'm cohabitating with a woman we're probably going to move in together soon so things are going well so i i'm leaving behind me dead my living mice

living my baby mice and a shoe and throwing the garbage but I'm having a party with three different cheeses and different chips and various treats and we're entertaining we're having an would make the best the you can of it

there's no excuse to be miserable you can make life where you find it okay that's the moral they're taking into the new year thank you for tuning in we're going to lose me every week uh you can follow me please on uh twitter and instagram it's at ray comp uh at ray cumm on twitter and instagram you can hear me every week on uh co-hostin dan st germains wrestling podcast total effin marks that comes out every saturday um yeah so make sure you follow us and follow this and uh see you next week thanks

Thank you.