Kump - 102 - Kump Bucket

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss what they'll do with their new Batman bucket, The Trolley Problem, Kanye, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. How you doing? I'm great. What do you think of the, we have a new, I don't think it's a permanent prop for the desk but this week we saw the Batman film and we got this uh I feel like we could use the Batman bucket long term I don't know if I want to use the Batman bucket long term

is the point you could have something next to you that you could bleed into if you ever needed to bleed all right how often do I bleed on the show well how often does that come up I mean I bleed plenty but usually on my like I'm bleeding during a show but not where you can see that's kind of how I, you know, reconcile myself at the end of the day. Like, at least it wasn't on camera. I keep it below the waist, my bleeding. But we might do like a Patreon exclusive.

It'd be good to have a bleed bucket. A bleed, but are you looking like to bleed me like a pig to like just like take a razor to me and just like just chain me up some weird car hoist? Of course not. Well, it sounds like it. It sounds like you need a, I mean, you need a lot more bigger bucket than that to me to bleed into. If that's your bucket

You're going to have to buy new floors I don't know how you send a profit of my death My butchering But it better make you enough To buy the new floorboards I'm going to stain it with How would I profit off it Would I be like selling buckets of your blood on eBay?

I need some of my meat maybe Yeah Oh yeah I guess there are probably people Who would pay to taste A murdered humans meat I'm not saying I'm like a famous man But you know

There's people out there who listen to us And I don't know I'm just saying like you know I don't they probably wouldn't want to eat it most almost any of them but like they might some weird like what was that is that black metal or death metal black metal right the Norwegian stuff right where the guy took the piece of the guy's skull you know I'm just saying like my butcher's shop wouldn't sell me right I don't know well they have integrity what does that mean what did you what you did you think I was talking about like passing off my meat as like pork

We're not going to sell comp as like, you know, when you buy bacon for much, it's pig, not comp. Well, look, I think it's an integrity move to not sell human meat at all. I don't think integrity enters into it. Integrity implies like it's something you wanted to do, but didn't. I don't think as many people as you are fighting the urge to buy or sell human meat. The butchers have like meetings where they all come together and like there's some guy being like, Look, we all love to sell human meat at our stores. I mean, just think about, you think, do you think it's like a premium thing or are they

going to be selling homeless? Oh. You can see. I mean, look, thank God people. There's probably tears. Thank God people don't tend to go cannibal in modern society. I don't know if they ever did before, you know, but like, you imagine how bad it would just be like constant butchering of people.

We probably, it would probably be kind of like a Nazi Germany thing, though, where it's like, it would be horrible for the people getting but butchered but the people who weren't getting butchered because they're people of means or whatever they wouldn't necessarily see that they wouldn't be confronted with it like well yeah look I would imagine in that scenario yes the oligarchs and the upper elites aren't like fighting against it hence why it's happening no I wasn't

in the Michigan thing where like you know Bill Gates and like Elon Musk and like you know and like you know the guys from Halliburton are like, stop this. And like, but no, the cannibals have their way. Well, look, even people like us. Yeah. Like, you know, we might, if we weren't obviously, like, attuned, like, morally. You're assuming that we wouldn't be on the side of getting butchered, which I'm not sure about it.

Well, I feel like at a world where people were butchered and eaten and sold for their meat. Yeah. Like, it would still be, like, a minority of people getting butchered and eaten and sold for their meat. Like, there would be, I think, a pretty hefty middle. class that might include us. You know, we're getting fat on our Patreon. Well, the Patreon is doing better, and we appreciate the support. I don't know if that puts us into the buying human meat category or like, you know,

or not getting a butcher category yet. I mean, hopefully, hopefully it'll get us there soon. It's a rising, it's a rising concern. But I don't know if we're in the clear yet of the cleaver. Yeah, you're right. There probably are a lot of social cleaver. there were probably a lot of like you know weird intersections i don't know yeah i don't know what is that uh intersectionality yeah the different kind of intersectionality

yeah uh i mean look there's many different reasons why people would want to kill me to eat me i mean honestly that would actually be a much more accessible and uh pleasant way to like disseminate the idea of intersectionality to people if you did it that way if you were like Like, yeah, no, no, if you were like, when you were trying to explain intersectionality, if you were like, look, here's how it works, this combination of who you are and who you fuck and what, and what you look like, it determines how likely you are to get butchered and eaten in a society that embraces cannibalism. That's actually a more succinct definition than like, whatever that is saying.

It's wildly less distinct. It's incredibly less clear. It's you've shifted the scope of the argument drastically And I don't know if anyone's going to understand what you went Any like this is going to help help people understand what you're talking about Is cannibalism on the table now? That's what they're going to be asking What do you talk?

You're my press secretary? You're my Jen Pisaki or whatever Look we want to get people to be more comfortable the idea of embracing intersectional racism or whatever intersectionality. Right. How about we threaten to kill them? We threaten to butcher them like rats and dogs.

And then they'll get it. This is, I don't know what you thought I was trying to imply. I thought it was implicit in the moment I brought this up that it would be a terrible thing and that the homeless would be the ones getting eaten. Look, I'm not saying it would be a good thing. I know, but you're acting like, like, well, yes, of course, like it would be,

at least the most vulnerable people. I was saying the hypothetical, I think, helps. Like, it's like the trolley problem. It's like the trolley problem if you haven't watched the, what's the good place? Not everyone knows what the trolley problem is. The trolley problem is. Or it's like philosophy for eight years in college or whatever.

You're driving a trolley and there's two track, two split tracks, fork tracks. And on the one, and the trolley's speeding and it's going to hit this one guy, these five guys who are working on the tracks. Yeah. You can either let the trolley hit that guy, those guys, or you can turn the trolley onto the other fork track

where there's one guy, where you know one guy is standing. Right. So it's like, it's better to like unintentionally kill five or intentionally kill one. I think that's it. How is it even a big debate? It's like it was much worse. Yeah, kill one person instead of five.

Because that's never how things are. But it's like, yeah, if you're if you're like driving like a movie speed and you're driving this bus and like yeah you might end up in a car and someone dies but like you don't want to run it into the fucking you know into a power plant or like in Terminator 2 and ain't going to a metal foundry yeah don't don't don't crash your car to the smallest thing possible that's that doesn't see that I hate philosophy because there's a bunch of yeah go on there's actually oh go ahead oh I just hate philosopher it's all every problem out there stems from like philosophy

in some way because all you got the crazy guys in the right and the left it's all these philosophers like you know juking people up into a frenzy about like what they should or shouldn't have and like you know how good it was in the old days and all this shit and it's just like it's all not it's just a bunch of word problems uh but there is like i want to get your view on this i have heard a variation on the trolley problem okay um well i'm driving the trolley and i'm getting sucked off by a bunch of conductors who should be driving the trolley and we go crash and die.

Do you do you do you let the trolley ride over the five men or do you or do you stop getting sucked off for long enough to pull the break? Keep getting sucked off. Yeah.

Go ahead. I mean which is alternate trolley and it only really works if you hear it after you've already heard the original trolley problem. Well, that's how problems in life worked, isn't it? That's applicable. Right.

So the variation is this time, you're not a conductor, you're not the driver, you're a guy standing on a bridge about the tracks. Why am I standing on a bridge? I'm about to jump off? Maybe I'm the best person to ask. I'm ready to kill myself here, apparently. And you see the trolley speeding down the tracks about to hit these five men. Okay.

Now, there's, this is, I swear to God, this is literally the variation. there's a very fat man standing on the bridge. Like he's standing on the bridge and you recognize him. Obviously this would never happen, but you recognize him as big enough to if he were thrown onto the tracks, he would stop the trolley. Do you push the man onto the tracks? No.

No. You don't. Who would do that? Why is that a better solution? But why is it so much different than intentionally killing the guy on the other track? Apparently, I'm the guy in the trolley at that point. It's like, this is my job. I'm like, my back is going to push a rando way to the fucking fat guy.

Who's me, apparently? I'm out of body experience pushing myself. This is something that guy wants to commit suicide. It's like, it's like Dr. Strange. Yeah. This just sounds like if I, like, honestly, like, whoever came up with that, let's see if he ever pushed him on through a train track. It was like, look, you don't understand.

If I didn't push this guy, first of all, it's, this is, again, my first of philosophy is useless and stupid and only done by people I hate it is I don't understand what person how fat could this man be they can stop a train um I guess I guess I mean there are people who are like 800 pounds or whatever out there I'm gonna push an 800 pound man onto the tracks was like what are you talking what these people talking about you know maybe this is what you people learn in school this is what you like I thought philosophy majors like did like advanced logic problems not like all right so if the guy's really fat well now we're going to need some kind of uh i'll have to use my own i'll have to hit him with a car to push him to get a momentum

to push him onto the tracks yeah so what kind of i need SUV right so if i all right so it now it becomes like a mad problem of like you know how much how much horsepower do i need to push an 800 pound man propelled him onto the tracks to stop a trolley that's going you know whatever miles per hour. This is philosophy? Yeah, pretty much. This is so dumb.

How'd we get onto the trolley problem? Why are we talking about the trolley problem? I have no idea. Cannibalism? Just be about cannibalism. Did we finish that topic? What was the bucket on the cup? Oh, right.

I don't think we ever even got to the bucket on the cup. Yes, good point. So we have a bucket in the cup. We saw the Batman movie. Yeah. We're not going to be talking about really. We talked about it on the Patreon this week. We had a relatively pretty in-depth review.

Yeah. Not too many spoilers. We discussed it. But we, you know, but because this is the visual medium, we were able to demonstrate the cup that we got in the bucket, which is like the late,

it's just this. We didn't even clean the popcorn out of it. It's kind of gross. That's pretty gross. Why are we? We need better props. We need to get, we need to become,

we need a better visual element of the show with like, little bobble heads and, and, you know, those things, like when you watch those things, as much of knick-knacks. Yeah.

like it right we need more of that we need to become like the the weird uh smr like with with with the visual with like the beanie babies and like you know just dildos me i don't know we should start just populating the desk with batmans that's too many batman every batman we've done so far i don't want to be i don't they're a lot of badmans yeah does anyone want that i mean sound off in the comments if you want that many batman um maybe we could change it up maybe we should be i should start custom painting these figures and like to make them look like other things like Batman in a suit and Batman uh OBGYN

Batman delivering a baby oh that could be fun uh but yeah the movies you know it's it's good enough to watch so we're not gonna discuss it here um so Kanye why look kind of off the bat this Kanye West thing very interesting Yeah. Not interesting, weird. What has happened with Kanye West? Do you understand? You look at Bernardo, right?

Because he's been sounding off against Kim Kardashian. They were married, right? They have like 17 kids or six kids. They have more kids than I remember. They have like four kids, right? Wait, they have kids? Yes. Oh, God.

I thought they would have been married for like a month. Not Pete Davidson. Kanye West. Oh, right. Yeah. I can't. Yeah. You don't have been married as long as he's been fucking Pete Davidson?

Well, but I mean, Back when they were married, I thought they weren't married for very long. Years. Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't know that. Well, maybe you're a wrong person to ask about this. But apparently, look, Pete, she's been, she's been back.

What's the nice way to say? Banging Pete Davidson? She's been letting Pete Davidson raise his kids. Yes. They call him daddy, right? They call Pete Davidson daddy? No, I'm kidding. Oh, man.

That would be bad. Yeah, that part, I was almost like. I'm on Kanye Westside. Well, look, I mean, people are concerned, but, you know, uh, yeah, do you have his art? Because apparently he,

he was talking smack to Trevor Noah or something. Just bring a miracle. Yeah. So after tangling, he's banned after tangling with Trevor Noah. On Instagram, I guess. They fuck each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Just read you. Just start reading it. Okay. Ye won't be performing at the Grammy Awards this year. A report published in The Blast said the rapper was told Friday that his set had been pulled from the show,

which takes place on April 3rd. A representative for Yee, who recently changed his name from Kanye West, confirmed the information and an email to the Associated Press. We should be calling him Ye now? I thought that was just another one of his things, like, Geezy and like old Yizzi or whatever, Yiz Daddy. Yeah. I didn't realize to have to call him Yee now. I don't want to do that.

The musician was suspended from Instagram for 24 hours after attacking his ex-wife, Kim Kardashian, her beau, Pete Davidson, and comedian Trevor Noah, who is hosting the Grammys. How did he attack Trevor Noah? They don't say? That's the main thing I wanted to look up. Yeah, like. What did he say, The Daily Show sucks. Yeah.

I got banned from Instagram. I mean, that's the case. That would be, you know, I don't know what we're banning him for. right yeah like they won't tell us what he said i think you use racial slurs no one probably won't see now you oh right okay i did i did see this uh he basically called him a word yeah not that but almost that what's almost okay i don't know i don't know if i want to say no i don't want to say it either it's like but he called him something that uh i think sometimes people use it to be like a

A person who's, I don't know. I don't know. This seems complicated. I don't, we shouldn't be seeing any. This seems like a thing. But yeah, he called them something, something bad. And, well, that was worth it. That was worth it.

Well, we found the word and we just won't say it. Oh, we did find the word? I can, I don't even know where it is. That's a, it's a four-letter word with a K. No, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't play that game. He spelled it with a K, which is not the usual spelling.

I don't know. I literally have no idea what you're saying, and I don't want to. Let's move on from that. All right? Before we get him, it's trouble with him. So he was banned. So he didn't say anything about counseling because Trevor was never tweeted today, apparently, that, like, I didn't say can't, because he got banned from the Grammys from performing.

And, uh, he said, Trevor knows, I didn't say cancel him. So I had a feeling. I'm pretty sure that's just a really stupid quippy. I can't stand Trevor Noah. Yeah. I'm not thinking his side. I mean, you shouldn't say words against him,

I guess, but like, you know, but I mean, I can't like, that's just seem to go. I mean, if the guy is mentally chat,

you know, disturbed, like, why are you stroking the flames on Instagram? Oh, I said to counsel him, not cancel him. So this is actually how he responded to it at first.

Uh-huh. After confessing that Kanye had been an indelible part of his life, what's that mean an indelible part of his life just say I like his music but don't be coming out of me please I'm totally a person look I like his beats but I mean

the blueprint was great and you know was that stronger that's a good song but please don't attack me Noah goes on to say it breaks my heart to see you like this I don't care if you support Trump

and I don't care if you roast Pete I do however care when I see you on a path that's dangerously close to peril and pain that's fair enough this is an indelible part of my life he's a little bit phony but like he's an indelible part of my life

just say look you're gonna beat and I wear your shoes sometimes please stop sending weird packages to my house to have like just blood inside them and an organ I think it's an animal's organ I mean I don't know I haven't seen these dogs blood again I like your shoes

yeah please stops reddening kill me yeah uh yeah no no it's definitely like very like hollywood and inhuman yeah but it's like it's just amazing to me look i'm not people are not like going on about how like oh if Kanye does anything to Kim it'll be on all our hands first of all no it won't no won't no won't i didn't do anything here it'll be on his hands and some lunatic fan's like it's like what lunatic fan i mean assuming it's some like lunatic fan no connie does something oh if Kanye does something yeah i don't think he's going to do what. Let's hope. I mean, look, yeah. I don't, like, I don't think he's that kind of, like, there's a reason why he's lashing out on social media. Like, he's not planning

to kill him. Because Christianer told him to. Right. Like, is this what is this? Is this Christianner's plan? I mean, I don't know. Is this family, uh, true very, it just seems to understand how to stay? How is it like anything still popular? I haven't they been around like 20 years now? Which, oh, the Kardashians? What is that Kardashian? that Kardashian sex tape come out like 20 like 2005 their their lifespan is like I almost said creatively their cultural lifespan has been it's actually kind of weird that people don't point this out more it's it's actually really bizarre yeah because like the Kardashians for people who are so whose popularity is so based on like superficial youth and like beauty and stuff being part of the

zeit guy somehow yeah they just stick around they're like the Simpsons yeah of a of a of a dumb horse oh wow yeah i mean like how are zoomers are they zoomers now that we call these people how are they still into like they keep pumping out like younger Kardashians and they bring pete davidson and kanya into the fold this is like happy days when like you know chachi like joined the cast right it's like no we got i mean it's like instead of doing s and l you don't

join the Kardashian family how is this like into something i don't i don't understand like these kids act like you know is boomer shit is what this is right i'm not even commenting anymore i'm like oh the show is dumb i never watch a single episode of that show i don't care right yeah this is the Kardashians is boomer shit it's just it just seems like anyone like i mean i'm not saying why does anyone care of kim gets attacked by kanya like no one should attack anyone right but like you know i guess the shoes

kind it's the thing they did the marriage to conier really did boost the profile because Kanye's still relevant because he's got the Yeezys. Right. You know, and the, in the, the, the Yi, he's the Yi. Yeah, no, I feel like every time, like, Kanye has some kind of public mental breakdown. Yeah. Like, it's always turns into this narrative of, like, what's he going to do? Like, he's really going to explode this time.

And then it's like, he just gets sad and goes to therapy. I think he made a video about him murder and Pete Davidson, didn't he? Oh, he did. In a music video. Oh, my bad. Which is like, I don't think that means he's going to do it, but it does seem to cross a line of politeness, at least. Maybe this is not the best way to deal with your ex.

Yeah, I mean, when I looked up the list, because I was trying to figure out what he actually did, but I looked up the list of like a stocker. I just gave him Grammys. Oh, he's all the Grammys. When I looked up the list of like stockery things that he did, it was just like he threatened to kill Pete Davidson and he sent him a truck full of roses.

A truck full of roses? Yeah. Seems like a waste of money. Yeah, it's like how nice. Or how nice are roses when they've been stuffed into a truck like that? Like a dump truck or like a like a like a postal van or a UPS truck. Well, how big of a truck? Yeah.

A 18 wheeler. I'm asked just like what does you go like honestly I picture. We're going on what am I going to do with this? Because it's not even one man. There's one of two scenarios. Either like he dumps it on her driveway. And then she's like what? Yeah.

Or like what about what? What am I going to do with this? hire someone to clean it or some fat guy shows up driving an 18-wheeler uh where do i put this like what is it it's a roses i don't just bring him out of the truck no the whole the way we want to put the the the cargo what do you mean just bring me in the house you understand this whole this whole thing is roses what well take it away i don't want that Like, it's not, I mean, in that scenario, the more likely scenario, she never sees roses. Right.

It's like, what are you going to do? Like, she's just like, she's going to climb in the back and look goes, well, that isn't a lot of roses. I guess that's nice. Or is he dump it in her pool? Like, how does that work? It's probably the most annoying thing in the world. Oh, yeah. It would also be great.

Like, it's like, when I read that, I was like, I guess it's stalkery because you broke up with you. But it's, okay. But I bet. if it really was just like a truck full of like a truck full of dead roses and they dumped it on her lawn and then so the delivery guy just like he's like he sent this note and then it's just like you're dead bitch that that that's irony yeah uh yeah no I mean that nothing I don't want is it wrong they left that hard at that she's stupid um So, I was a good, look, good luck to everyone involved.

I guess he's still not performing with the Grammys. That's a shame because he's a, I do like Yee's music. He's an indelible part of my life. I'll just say that. Yeah, he's great. No, no, as a musician, not, you know. Not as a stalker. As a stalker, it's all very weird and suddenly.

One more, is they, even though I do really not know much about the Kardashians, like, I did actually one time. uh by the pay for the pilot episode of what of a show hosted by i think chloe cardashian well you're going to hell what i don't understand like what was his show was it about was it was about like was she hosting a lego competition like well or net does it was it was called a revenge body what where she would bring on people who had been like gone through a bad breakup or something or like, or were depressed, uh, or just hated their mom or something. And then she would be like, okay, like it would basically be like an eight week workout program where they got a revenge body.

I know one, no one who like should be on that show is getting like, there's no revenge it takes eight weeks. Like you might be a little dumpy. But like the real situation is like someone who's like, you know, really fat. And then they get like they put like the 600 pound loser. wherever the show is and they put them through the ringer and if they're lucky if they win the little competitions then then the show agrees to pay for your surgery when they cut they trim the skin because they make a point by the way if you watch that show ever like if they don't it's like

you know top chef when they have those little mini competitions the beginning of the show like who who can make the best like hors d'oeuvre in like half an hour yeah and then like you get points towards it like you know uh for the fine in towards the final they have a thing where it's like you know all right listen whoever can do the most jump in jubes jacks if you could do a they'll get some fat chick who's like you know lost 10 pounds so far and like if you can do a thousand jumping jacks right now if and when you lose weight we'll cut your skin off for free it's just like otherwise you're gonna be otherwise even even if you lose weight you'll be grotesque of course I can't do a thousand jumping jacks and everyone's just

unhappy so that's what uh but at least that's actually real no one's you're not getting revenge in eight weeks like some guys like oh if i knew your ass was gonna be a little tighter i never would left you like maybe i'm like maybe these guys out there like oh but honestly the best part of the show was just like watching these like kind of kind of dumpy normal people like sincerely talk about like the most one of the most horrible things that's ever happened to them and how and how sad they are and then just seeing chloe cardassian's dead eyes she like has she nuts so chloe's the middle one probably really hurt oh chloe's the big one right the bigger one the bigger one.

Well, of the three, the three original ones, she was the one that was like larger framed, taller and whatnot. Yeah, that makes us. Structurally bigger. Yeah, maybe it was Kendall.

I don't know. I know, I know they don't, they don't all look alike to me, but it's like, the way I, careful. The way I feel when I look at them

is always the same. So, like, turned on. Turned on. Um, so what was the show? I mean, are you happy,

where did you buy it? I, I think it was on, like, Apple or something. Wow. There's a record of that. Well, thanks for confessing that. You're welcome. Moving on, I guess.

Apparently, Antarctica. Is that you say Antarctica? Yeah. The continent, I guess you would call it, the region. Yes? I believe it's pronounced Antarctica. Ooh. It's 70 degrees warmer than normal.

uh you understand what i'm saying here it's 70 degrees more warm than usually is uh okay that seems pretty bad right i mean it's like in order to understand that i had to repeat it with bad grammar yeah no but i mean i don't i guess it's global warming right i mean 70 it's an anomaly it's an unprecedented anomaly i mean maybe look is it possible this shit's all random. Maybe. There's no precedence for it. These models don't seem to work.

No one's been saying, and there's going to be 70 degrees warmer by 2022. Is it ahead of the model or behind the model? Way ahead. Way ahead. I don't think it's going to happen forever. I don't think you can fault the model if it's ahead of schedule. Like,

I think you can. I think you should have made a better model. It's like if somebody gets you, you're like food early. You know, they give you an estimate and then it comes early and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, well,

like my lunch from Tuesday comes on Monday dinner. I'm already, I'm eating a meatloaf here. I don't want a hoagie. What are they going to do? I'm like, well, the hoagie's not going to be good tomorrow now. It's too early. It's way too early. So what does that mean for us?

Did they say anything in the article about what? I'll just say it's probably not good. It could be random. Some people, I mean, the article seems to be science because it's also that we're heat wave in the Pacific Northwest, right, last year. And people go, well, these things, they can't see these things haven't happened. without human, you know, caused climate change. I don't seem happening either way.

Like, you didn't seem happening either way. Right. I'm not saying climate change isn't happening. It just seemed very, these are just very strange events, which I guess are, do we know anything is my point. Yeah. It's just like, I'm, like, is it some kind of a, so are the ice caps just gone now? Like, no, just, it's still like, you know, usually below 60s. So now it's like, or, you know, negative 60.

Yeah. That was like negative, it's like zero. So still above, it's still below freezing, I guess. So that's good. Man, that is not, that is not bode well for the timeline. I'm when it gets to like actually 70 degrees or whatever. Yeah. I mean, look, get a boat or fix it.

I don't know at the time. I mean, is there any, I mean, I love how people now are going like, well, you don't understand. We really need to fix it. Like, I don't know if you've looked around. Yeah. But people aren't exactly. getting along this isn't the time like to double down how serious he used to get like Greta Dunberg like you know sweet kid yeah but it's like I don't know if that was the best

messaging at the time right like in the age of everything post it's not even post Trump per se but it didn't seem to accelerate that point yeah the thing is it's like it's not her fault like that she wasn't the best messenger she shouldn't be the best messenger no we shouldn't be listening to a child right like it's like you know I'm I'm I'm all for like young people doing activism and stuff but like the amount that the media like spotlighted her

when it's like that would have been a great moment to go like that's really nice and then pivot to like and here's a here's a grown up scientist what should we do credit tell us what should we do but no but my point is not even that she's wrong it's just like it's like telling someone

like oh you got to stop doing heroin and then you come back and then you're doing crack in heroin it's like no you really got to stop doing heroin Like, just take one. Yeah. Maybe it was a bad analogy. The point is like, like, I don't know. It's like they keep ratching it up going like, we won't do the bare minimum.

Right. I guess we are using paper straws though. I've heard. Speaking of the Batman, the Batman cup has a plastic straw, which is nice. Yeah. But the other drink we got in the movie theater, paper straw. So I'm doing my part. Yeah.

You know? I've heard from like AA people in the past. Or a drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Dirty drunks? I call them D.D. Dirty drugs.

But I've heard from some of those people that they tell you when they first start going, like don't try to quit smoking and quit drinking at the same time because you really, the bigger problem is quitting drinking. You're hilarious if A.A. was funded by Philip Morris. Philip Morris started AA. Just like, you know what? You know, I know people, look. Here's the thing.

They look at them all ago. You know how people always like, we smoke? I smoke when they drink. Yeah. I only smoke when they drink. That's, look, that's a certain demographic we have. Yeah. But if we get people who drink a lot to stop drinking, oh my God, they're going to smoke.

So what we do? We start this thing called AA. And does it work? Well, they'll get them to stop drinking a lot of it. I mean, a lot of people don't. But the ones who do, they smoke like banshees. And even if they don't quit, still an uptick in the smoking. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. Oh, but anyway, I was going to say like, is it, like, you're saying, like, kind of like global warming is our smoking, like, I guess, we're trying to give up. What's the bigger thing we're trying to give up? It's just a phenomenal, I'm not sure what my point is, like, very succinctly. It just seems like the more they ratchet, like,

the more people don't listen, the harder they talk. It's just like, you know, so it's just like, no, we really got, we got to, we have to do, like, a bunch of more. shit now we didn't do the first shit where you like I don't know what you what you think is gonna happen it's more I guess what I'm saying is more we should just like I don't want to give up I'm not making the case to give up

but like realistically we're not gonna fix it yeah I guess it doesn't seem like we're going I would like to but it doesn't seem like they're going to so maybe just kind of have a countdown yeah totally just a countdown to the the floods yeah that would be good

to just like have a website instead of like your carbon footprint or whatever you just have a website, highly publicized website that's literally just a countdown clock. It doesn't have to be accurate even. Look, this actually is a good point because I do try to approach everything now because everyone is so polarized and extreme that I don't try to be like equivocating. But I choose not to get into like a highly charged partisan.

You know, if I have an interested angle on something, I'll say it. I don't get into like Twitter debates about things that like repeats over the time. And the same thing, look, to be fair, I don't know if. that doesn't help anybody. Right. I'm still advocating. I'm still advocating as scientists across the board just all say, we don't care what you do anymore. Oh, that would be, that would be a, honestly, that might be very effective.

Yeah. Reverse psychology. Yeah. And just go, look, it doesn't matter. Like, just do whatever. And like, uh, I don't know what would be a, I think we'll just fucking eat and smoke our way to death. But it would, at least they would have a, it wouldn't be so whining, you know?

Right. It wouldn't be so, look, if we're all doomed anyway, it seems like. We're all in the collision course, right? It's something to do with mass psychology and we can't fix it. So why are we like, why are we making everyone sad? Just fucking, you know, just get everyone with a bunch of, you know, oxy. And like, why did they're taking away the oxy? Yeah.

Like, oh, Purdue. You're not giving them anything else. Whatever. I sound very insensitive now. But I'm just like... This would be a great opportunity for Purdue to get back on the market, actually. Yeah, they're like, look.

We're trying to serve as pain patients. We know your euphemisms. No, we mean people who are going to experience the pain of their bones being crushed by an intense flood of water that kills them in their families. Wow. That's actually the copy for the end?

Yeah. Again, so didn't you use the word for the company administration? We don't want to ask if we were trying to compare cannibalism to intersectionality? Yeah, it was very successful. Well, okay. I'm glad you're on board. So we're going to.

Yeah, so good luck in Antarctica. I don't think anyone's there, right? Except like some, the guys from the thing, the movie The Thing. Oh, really? I love the thing. Yeah, but wasn't that Antarctica? Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, maybe, maybe that's going to be the plot of a new thing reboot.

Is that like it gets warm? I just realized. I thought we were still in the scenario. I just realized I thought we were still in the role play I thought you were going like okay we're sending you to Antarctica oh never mind so it could be a reboot of the thing yeah well it's warm but it's warm yes it's a tropical thing yeah it's just it's just being in the snow it's just like you know it's just the grass

yeah but it's still the same same movie basically they're all in their swim trunks yeah they're swim trucks and they're fighting There's a weird shape-shifted monster. Yeah, it's a monster that formed after, like, the glaciers melted. It was like a... Yes, just a little rat. Yeah, it was crystallized in the glacier. Just like a deformed rat, biting people.

It's pain the ass. I mean, ultimately, if, look, if global warming gets us, if it catches up to us. Right. I think we'll be fine. Yeah. We'll have been killed by cannibals earlier. When we just start building things higher?

like yeah look I think look that is a misnomer I think it's not verbalized enough but yeah I think a lot of people I think I guess what you're saying is you're making the same cases like the global elites presumably where it's like no no we'll build like domes over the water and like higher you know but millions of people will die that's fine and then you know it's like millions and millions maybe a billion people will die in floods and mass migrations but we'll have nice hotels over the water and it's a fine position

it's a position to have I mean I don't think it's good but it's like I feel like some of that stuff might be more available to non-elites than we think like you know it's like I feel like people have a tendency to like people don't get to March this Vineyard

they're going to let me into the weird the weird water hotel I was saying like the people it seems like people aren't really good at like just doing the right thing yeah on at the drop of a hat but they'll like they'll stall like they're kind of good at stalling like the worst effects of it like oh I thought you're saying like look you're not good at helping but they're good at procrastinating it's not really a or thing I feel like building weird shit to survive global warming

It's part of like us. That's part of our stalling instinct. Like, uh, maybe. Sure. I don't know. I don't know if they tend to build that for like people. Like they build that for like, you know, like Jack Kennedy's grandkids. Yeah.

And like, you know, the guy who invented Q-tips. Oh, we're going to drown. Yeah. I mean, we'll get like a, we'll get a fishing boat. We'll be like a perfect storm. I don't know. I don't want to progress anymore. It's making me sad.

Uh, should we bring up the Batman? of this week. This is the white knight. I think we did the variant version a long time ago with the orange white night Batman, but this is the gray, like the regular color one. It's a good looking figure.

This is the one where basically because it's kind of a convoluted plot, but Batman shoves a bunch of pills in Joker's mouth after he chases them down and like destroys half the city in pursuit. And the pills like cure him, even though like,

it's like a two-fold thing because one everyone sees him on camera like just shoving a bunch of random pill like they go to a pill factory and he finally catches them he's like you stupid bastard made me chase you

and he's just shoving pills in his mouth and then like everyone's like oh god that's cross the line here dude but also they cured him of being crazy and study of not crazy Joker and he like runs from mayor and he's like pointing out Batman's atrocities

and stuff and it's just it's an interesting comic I guess Oh, wow. So that's what that's from. I should read that comic. Well, I bought it for you. You bought it for me? Yeah.

I know you bought it for you. Well, you know, it's there. Look, that's what I do when I buy things. I say, this is for us. You're like a little boy sometimes. It's like you'll get a gift for me, but it's really like, do you like this another Batman action figure? Yeah, well, look, I mean, like, I'm not making you out to be a bad gift. Week after week, people see the gifts I give you.

Yeah. Um, no, look, whatever. We have a book you can read or not. I don't, I mean, I don't know if we're going to keep doing Batman's forever. Yeah. Sound off if you want to stop Batman's. I don't, because people do say, like, all right, like the Batman's, but if, like, you know, I don't know if they should go on forever.

Um, because I have to keep buying. Oh, wow. We're running out. Yeah. We have, like, we're getting to the point where I'm going to start bringing in, like, the weird Wonder Woman figure that was part of the Batman set. I don't know if people are going to like that. We got to do Batman and Batman out.

You, you, the Batman. The Batman out, you sign it, you send it to a person. Don't promise that. I got a post office every week. It's a pain of ass. I'm just spitballing here. Don't take any of this to heart. We might do that.

Yeah. Whatever. We'll just melt them into a, we bring us up every so often. We'll melt them into a big. Yeah, we destroy them. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like that lady in the King Solomon story. It's like, well, you can either destroy them, cut them in half and then throw them in the

garbage or give them to a fan who would love them throw them the garbage I don't know anyone else to have these um so that was that what do you think of the what kind of pills these supposed to spark conversations so what kind of pills would you want to shove into a criminal's mouth

um maybe like maybe like collagen pills really yeah interesting so criminal I can see like home I can see the homeless people because they have like bad skin and look I'm not saying I don't have great skin but I could help because you know if they do try to get a job

but they have that kind of weather beating stuff going on on their face and it could help them or at least help them be more sympathetic characters right there's nothing me I don't I don't judge them but I feel like certain people judge them because they don't have nice skin yeah is that's what you're getting that yeah maybe like a combination of like

maybe like a mixed bag of like collagen melatonin I think they sleep enough and like St. John's Ward or something what St. St. John's Ward do? It's supposed to be a natural remedy for depression. Really?

I feel like the Joker's kind of depressed. I'm talking about homeless people. Oh. Criminal. I don't mean like the joke. No, am I talking about grabbing sociopathic clowns on the street? I'm saying like random criminals and homeless people.

Oh, okay. Should we? What if Batman, honestly, what if Batman just started like giving people antidepressants? Like by force. Forced anti-depressants? I'm not saying if we could prove they work better.

I mean, they tend to like stop work. after a while, right? Maybe he could develop like a, because he's kind of a genius. Like, maybe he could develop like a shot that's like, that's like an instant antidepressant. Like, you just shoot, you stick it in someone's neck. Okay.

And it immediately readjust their serotonin levels. 45. Why can't Batman just cure, like, invent a cure to AIDS? I feel like you're like, if Batman was real, he'd really be annoyed of you right now. It's like, please stop. I feel.

I have billions of dollars, and you know what I do with it? I hand-to-hand fight criminals on the street and evade cops. That's how much. It costs that much to do that. And you think I should be curing AIDS? I can't afford to cure AIDS. I can barely afford to keep fighting criminals and cops on the streets every night with my billions of dollars. I start running around like one of those like Batman wannabes in the dark night.

And I'm like in the hockey pants and the mask. And I'm like, I'm just running around with syringes. what is that and honestly it's just going to be I think I've created a cure for depression but it's really just like filled with bleach it's just a COVID vaccine yeah

it's just honestly it's basically a fouchy you're not your bat fouchy I mean people were you know if Batman you wonder if Batman was doing that where people have not fought back against who knows we'll never know

so that was a Batman for the week Enjoy that. Disney has a, apparently, like it is a little fuzzy, this article I read, but basically the LBG GT community within Disney is upset that Disney isn't speaking out more against this don't say gay bill in Florida, which I believe is for kindergarten through third grade. I don't want teachers talking about. gay stuff uh i guess like you know which like them being gay or well i'm sure that would fall into it

yeah um i guess like that's still the look i'm assuming i'm trying to remember anything from like that error and like i'm sure there are you do read books about mommies and daddies and all this shit and like yeah whoever has two mommies is like a classic is that classic though yeah i mean it's been around for a while i never read derrick has two mommies or whatever i didn't read did you read I didn't read it, but I remember, but I remember when I was as young as in college. Oh, I knew about it. Okay, yeah. Well, I guess they don't want that.

That's the, yeah, you were in college, okay, yeah. But yeah, so like they don't want that. I don't know if, I don't think they're giving sexual advice to second graders. Yeah, like, no, I mean, look, it's definitely fascistic because it's like, there's so many innocuous things that could fall into the purview of gay stuff. like yeah like yeah like it's kind of no for sure that's the thing like like a like a teacher having a like like a female teacher having a wife like that's gay stuff yeah it just seems like I mean don't you can argue like well why you're bringing up your wife and that's fair but like it seems weird to bring up their spouses all the time I don't know if that's true per se but like regardless it can come up for sure no you both yeah the husband and I went to Applebee's this week they're telling you like you know it was weekend would you Excuse me again, Mrs. Willa Kapowski. And she's like, oh, my, my husband took me in an albumbees.

And we got really drunk. And we got kicked out for yelling. There was no karaoke. We were singing along to the songs. And I puked. But imagine if that was a wife, her wife, Mrs. Kilokapowski's wife. And the kids would be like, oh, the kids have to worry about gay stuff now. Right.

I don't know. It doesn't seem like there should be a lot. law. Yeah, look, again, I don't know how, like, you know, if you show me, if you show me like some kind of weird propaganda in schools where they're doing it, I'll say, well, don't do that. But this law seems wrong is the point. Right. I don't think you should be, like, teaching kids how to be gay, which I don't think anyone is

doing, but, like, I think that's the people who are, like, making this law, like, it seems like. Hey, girls, here's how you les out. Right. Like, don't do that. But if it's, yeah. So I suspect that's not what the law is about, though. But whatever.

I'm not, you know, I'm not an expert. But yeah, like, I remember when I was in high school, there were two teachers who were married to each other. Like... Were they gay? No, no, a husband and wife. Okay. Well, they'd be fine this law.

Yeah. They go forward if they want. But it's like, if they were gay, then like half the, you know, half the more personal stuff they talked about would be like, you know, forbidden or... How often is, like, I don't remember teachers talking that much about their personal life.

Well, just in a way, like, I feel like you should be able to bring it up. I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to bring it up, but it does seem like it doesn't happen as often. I don't know why I remember this so well, but I feel like it's like a thing some teachers just do. Well, your teachers just venting all the time and their awful wife's husbands. My fat husband is we, he watched a marathon of NCIS, the fat prick. I want him to clean the gutters.

I think I'm having a fair. Mr. and Mrs. Troy We're always trying to get us to pick sides And they're in their fights When social service is constant They're going to come and talk to you kids I want you to say you hit you But yeah

So anyway, I'm against the law I think No definitely but like you know We're sitting in class And Mr. and Mrs. Troy are both Like they teach completely different subjects But they're just both in the front of the class And like Mrs. Troy's like You just admit it

Like you don't want to eat my pussy Ha ha ha ha ha ha You know, his dick's not that small But he's really bad fucking It's weird thing He's not all about size He's got a decent dick But you can't fuck for the shit

You're always coming up with excuses He just can't get hard Well it's hard it's nice It's almost never hard Anyway So apparently the Disney employees or some of them at least are upset because I think Disney says something like, look, we're going to

oppose this our way by, you know, being more inclusive in our program. And they're like, no, the company should be more outspoken against this. I guess because they're in Florida, a big part of Florida, you know, Disney World and stuff. Yeah. They're a big part of Florida. I suspect that's why. It just seems weird, though, that people,

it's always like, look, I'm not saying like, I wouldn't be mad if Disney opposed it but it just seems odd when people want corporations to like get involved in politics or not you know it just seems odd like yeah yeah that's true

it's like oh citizens is united people like you know companies shouldn't have a the right to you know support political candidates and like which I yeah I don't think it's good get rid of lobbying sure no one's ever going to do it but whatever yeah but now but like but oh also like please align completely with every social I'm even trying I'm not even trying to be seen dismissively social

justice but like please align with every political agenda we have it just seems like yeah people don't even seem to care about how like transparently like fraudulent it is when a corporation does that oh yeah when they like go out and like a talk about like progressive causes like

in their advertising and shit yeah it's like I guess like the Netflix thing I'm not saying I'm not taking the you know Netflix is whoever side against Steve Chappelle or whatever but I guess you could argue if you're an activist that like well we leverage our positions employees to like get them to do it it just look i'm saying don't do or not it just seems odd the the the the double-sidedness

of it like corporations are too involved in politics but also like we need to like use them as like mech you know these mecca warriors yeah they need to like be our voice politically or Voltron right yeah like this the Disney corporation is our mech machine that we use to fight against social justice it's like a power rangers or whatever Just, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's just, apparently Pixar was saying that Disney is full of shit, basically. I mean, I'm probably overstating that. But they're like, every time we try to put gay shit in the Pixar stuff, they make us cut it.

And like, well, they said more like gay characters, not just gay shit. Right. But every time we do it, they said, you got to cut it. So maybe, I mean, there's not a lot of gay Avengers, I guess. I don't know. I always thought that Disney was really gay. but uh well be careful no but i mean like intentionally like in the reboot where the live action reboot of beauty and the beast isn't la foo gay who's le fu

uh josh gad plays him oh and i think they even the lackey of the of the of the gaston guy of gaston yeah he's like he's in love with geston and beauty and the beast or something oh like okay that's weird then not weird like it's just it's a weird thing that only like there's probably some person there who's just always trying to do gay stuff. Yeah, but it seems like an odd time, like, so their portrayal of gay people is that they secretly covet the

incredibly supposed, like, the guy who's trying to get a woman. The male chauvinas, yeah. He's trying to get Bell, right? So he's, and this guy's just like trying to work him. That's how Disney sees gay people, like, they're trying to work straight guys, like. Yeah, I guess it does kind of

play into that whole, like, gay trickery stereotype. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that's the most healthy portrayal of homosexuality. But, you know, it's fine. I'm sure Josh Cash had was very, uh, very, uh, what's the word? Exquisite. That's exquisite. Eloquent.

Eloquent. I'm sure he did it eloquently. Um, we should go back. I mean, like, it make, like, uh, I don't know, gay, make wally gay. That would be awesome. Like, gay robot? Yeah. Yeah.

He's just like, like, you have sex? No, but I'm gay. That's my thing. I'm an asexual gay. How you're gay? I just am. What are you questioning me? Yeah.

I'm a rope. I mean, he doesn't really talk much. We're already having Wally talk a lot more than he did in our reboot of Wally. So wait, so you have no desire to suck a cock. Well, no, I'm a woman. Oh, you know, well, he's a woman. Well, you know, you're racist. I'm also black.

I'm black trans, asexual gay. This Wally thing is not going to get greenlit, I feel like. And nothing else because it's just too much dialogue. Wally was famously very silent film.

Yeah. Look, we're cool. Disney's like meeting with us like, look, we're getting beat up in the press over this whole don't say gay bill thing. So we would love the green light that's based on the subject matter. But just Wally just doesn't talk this much. If you can rewrite,

It's somehow being implied metaphorically in the visuals. We were just thinking of doing a shot-for-shot remake and dubbing in dialogue whenever he kind of lifts up in his head and goes, beep, boop, beep. We replace that with, I am an asexual gay. And we... Look, the LGBT community within Disney, they're all telling us this is not what they want, that this messaging is completely backwards and all over the place. And it's not helpful, but we still love to do it because we just want to throw anyone a bone. But he talks too much.

Anyway. So I was reading this article about that. And I happened to see his other article where it was like, it's kind of come up here. You're reading a lot of articles today. I want to know what's going on in the world. I really do. And something caught my eyes.

You're going to come up by? Yeah, so this is like an ask Amy thing. My vegetarian friend uses social media that criticize people who eat meat. Which I thought was odd. It just struck me as like, well, this is like sounds like something you were here like 20 years ago.

It doesn't seem like a new, like, you're messaging like some fucking, I mean, these things are probably made up, right? But like you're messaging to some advice columnist going like this thing that like you could probably find on like, you know, cora.com or whatever. Right. It's like a Reddit.

Who's still going to advice columnist when you've ever read it? Yeah. But anyways, but, uh, dear Amy, I have a friend who recently decided to become a vegetarian vegan. She now shares articles via email and Facebook calling people who eat meat, depraved, confused, and unethical. There was even an article accusing meat eaters of being speciesist. I mean, it's just made up, uh, whatever. I couldn't care less about what her diet is. If I'm trying to talk about her, uh, somehow disagreeing with vegetarianism, which not

the case i don't want to lose a good friend but things are going on the hill um yeah and it's just like and i think she'd say we can blockers and that here's what got me thinking about that's she's not going to say she's going to say you can block you can be a friend and disagree with her but given the climate that we have shouldn't they be updating these things yeah shouldn't they be these advice columns like giving how people act nowadays Like, give me a scenario. Give me something where you want advice on something. And I'm going to give you advice through a more contemporary lens of how things are handled nowadays.

Sure, yeah. Dear Ray, I'm starting to feel like my relationships are very one-sided and like the people in my life aren't taking my needs into a consideration. Please help sincerely a person online. Dear Lucy, I know who you are He didn't use a VPN Anyway, here's what you should do You should call up social services And tell them they beat their kids

All right And then go online and call this person A communist and or a fascist All right Accus him of child rape Spread rumors on the internet About how they are involved in pedophilia And

And then make a deep thing fake video in which they're sucking off an elderly man next that honestly that would yeah that would be the most yeah that would be another one okay something more yours is very this one was very vague I want something like people actually okay contentious things that go now just like people aren't meeting my needs okay uh dear ray I live with a roommate who has been my best friend for six years But recently, her behavior around the house has gotten unacceptable, in my opinion. And I've left her several notes expressing myself and saying that I won't tolerate her messiness and whatnot. She replied to me saying that my notes were obnoxious and passive aggressive,

and now we're in a fight and she won't speak to me. What do I do? Call her a turf. Put pressure on her job to fire her for, for, for not acknowledging the sexual orientation choices of children and accuse them of being a Russian propagandist. I mean, this is what this is all we do now. I mean, this seems to be more.

This is great. I mean, we should make this advice website. That's a good point. We're going to be, someone's going to kill someone. We're going to be accused of it, though. That's a problem. we're going to end up like this is how irony just becomes like we're just the bad guys

because you know we should give advice yeah we should give that we should give that we should we should be very good of advice givers maybe we should start a certain thing where we give like we we we should maybe do a thing um where we set you know should we should we should we invite that in the columns yeah we'll make it we'll make an email address for next week try to remember remember okay and we're going to put that and then sometimes times about the show will help people. Does someone else have this gimmick? First off, we're going to have to...

I think Bill Burr might do this. Who cares? We can do it too. We'll see. A lot of people do advice. I got to see. If we're ripping anyone off here. We're ripping off the concept of advice.

That's a good point. I don't want people... Look, I'm not trying to get into a flame war with the famous helicopter pilot Bill Burr. All right. Anyway. So it's been a great show. Anything else you want to add?

the um check out the patreon check out the patreon we get the patreon the batman review the batman review this week we have an episode with tim dillon a couple weeks ago people really liked um it's a growing concern you can get an extra episode

every week for five dollars a month pretty good deal the links in the description and uh yeah well uh thanks you guys for tuning in and we'll see you next week have a great week Thank you.