Kump - 103 - Academy Kump

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss their Oscar predictions, pitch a new film, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. How are you? I'm great. How are you? Good. You excited for the Oscars?

What's even nominated this year? Well, we can get to that. in the second i have a list ready to go uh what would you say is of this year the year 2021 which that's what the oscars are right it's like paying your taxes yeah right you're not paying this year's taxes and you and we're taxing the art of last year's taxes and you and we're taxing the art of last year with awards oh okay you know like my metaphor isn't it more of like a tax uh We're being taxed. Yeah, we're being taxed.

By this. I find it all very taxing. Anyway, point is, what of you do you, of you recalling movies that you've seen this year? What would you think would be the top tier films of 2021? I guess, I mean, look, nothing really stands out, but like, but I guess, I guess, I guess, licorice pizza was pretty good. The Paul Thomas Anderson behemoth. Yeah. The, uh, the enduring.

story of pedophilia? I don't know. Why is it always have to... I didn't really get the point of the age difference in that movie. Because he's just... He wants to be titillating. And it's a reverse age difference. It's okay if the boy's younger.

That's what Paul Thomas Anderson's saying. Well, he also, it's a very weird teenage boy character in licorish pizza. Because it's like, because he's like 16, but he has all of these like business ideas and stuff. Right. He's like, I'm a wheeler. I'm a dealer. Therefore, you can, you know, that's surely right me.

And the girl's kind of like a wayward, for some reason she knows like Israeli fighting techniques, but she's like a wayward 20-something. So she knows Krav Maga and like her dad's in the IDF, but she's fallen for this fucking schmuck. Yeah. Who's got a waterbed scam. She can drive a truck backwards. Yeah, that was pretty impressive and also not true. Yeah. Good stuff.

Yeah, it's fun. Look, it was a very watchable film. It's not, like, doesn't have any meat in the bones, I feel like. But whatever. It's like a French New Wave meets nonsense. Yeah. What else do we? What else we, uh, did we see anything else this year?

Does the Spider-Men count? The three Spider-Men groping each other and giving each other hugs and kisses. But wasn't that 20, but wouldn't far from home be 20? I think it came out around Christmas. Oh, okay. I mean, I don't know if they give, I don't know if they're giving it. best picture but uh but i think it did specifically come out hey in case you want to give our spider hug and kissing each other movie an Oscar we're here maybe we'll get some sound everything

or best hugs and kisses in between buddies um what are the other movies well we can go through a list but that's what we remember basically right that's all we were we went to a few movies didn't we we saw didn't we see some we went as soon as they let us we went out and saw movies yeah we did The government said COVID doesn't exist for six months. I think the first movie we saw after the COVID restrictions went down was... The resaw? Yeah. The circular saw what's it called?

Saw spiral with Chris Rock. Which I loved. Yes. It was fine. It wasn't terrible. It was bad. It wasn't terrible. But it was good bad.

Like it was like it flowed. It was bad, but it flowed. I think we saw a black widow, which was horrendous. Awful. Really, really bad We didn't see good movies Let's see Let's bring up this page

And we'll go through Some of the Oscars I'm not gonna recognize any of these films Well, oh, we did see one We did see a big one We did see Dune Oh yeah, Dune Do you think Dune deserves anything

Besides a swift kick in the ass I like the David Lynch Dune I like the one with everyone's greasy And like covered in acne And Sting is just some hot guy he's like hey don't you want to you know i'm the evil guy and the other guy's just like shoving like you know uh vaseline covered fish all over himself while stang just dances around and shows his ass and he flies around a little like he flies around in that cart

from a super mario world or bat bowser i feel like it's maybe not maybe he's had a suit but uh but no we released uh not to get us off track but we were trading uh little text about Twin Peaks memes. Well, I did a gift because, you know, I don't do gifts in public, but between you and I, I don't believe in the gift culture. Yeah. I think it's a shorthand for not having a personality. Right.

But I do it. But when you're at work, I give them to you. It's a way of, you know, like just getting you through the day. Yeah, totally. I give you gifts. Yeah. But, you know, but this whole like, hey, look at me. I shared a meme.

It's like, why don't you write a treatise on something? why don't you write that goddamn what they call those dissertation? Yeah Shut the fuck up But you sent me the little man The Twin Peaks guy

Yeah And I sent you the give of the guy Eating the Bree and Butter sandwich What's that from? Twin Peaks I don't remember that part Was he part of that guy From Quantum of Leap's crew

I forget exactly I mean maybe it was in the movie Was he part of the crew When he goes to like guy Who's his lounge singer? It's a Jerry You remember the character Jerry? Jerry wasn't Jerry the lounge singer?

Um, maybe. All right. You don't, don't start quizzing me. But the brie and butter sandwich guy when you don't even know the guy from Quantum Leap. The guy from Quantum Leap who wasn't Scott Bacula. That's who I'm talking about. You're mixing them up.

And you go, but you don't know who the fuck eat a brie and butter sandwich, you disgusting pig? Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I stand corrected. I didn't realize that was the point of the plot of the film. Was a man.

How do you describe Twin Peaks? A man eats a, peanut butter and jelly set. No, no, no. It was a butter in Bree Sam. You know, I'm realizing I'm mixing up Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet, which is, uh, not the, you know, craziest thing in the world, but I, we have to be watched Twin Peaks.

I don't remember Twin Peaks very well. I literally, the, the most distinct memory I have of Twin Peaks at this point is the brie and butter sandwich. Well, that's, because I remember how good it seemed. If you had one since? I never ended. So you, you, you watched a film, a surreal film from one. was out there filmmakers of his generation or any generation

full of just graphic imagery and just intense paranormal but also surrealistic imagery and the thing you were most captivated with was that someone ate a brie and butter sandwich you live in New York City constantly go to delis and get sandwiches made of cheese but never tried that that seems a little insane to me

I just fixate on food. This is attainable. I can call before the podcast is over, I can have this sandwich here. Should we try? I mean, that seems a bit much. Should we do it? No, it's okay. It's okay.

No, I can afford it. It's more like it's like the guy's going to call. You're going to have to go over. It's going to be a whole thing. You know, I have to go. People are going to have to watch us like digging through the seamless menu. We'll do it next week. before we record next week

we'll get a brie and butter sandwich to tune in next week this can't be your last cump okay because we're gonna have this brie and butter sandwich ready to go it's gonna be sitting next to the Batman and we're gonna see if Lucy's life is worth living

so but yeah we should watch because I agree yeah anyway movies so a couple of things have already won because they decided that the best original score and best film

editing don't really matter I took what what happened I think it's still recording just okay just walk over and make sure it's still recording oh yeah it is okay we'll cut this out or maybe we won't

if I remember too I'll cut this out what was I yelling about oh they don't think that best original score and best film editing matter because they removed them from the telecast in order, instead of just telling people to shut their mouths, not to take a page of Mickey Jervais. Yeah.

Who's just blathering about his fictional dead wife all the time nowadays. But he did a phenomenal job of the Golden Globes telling these people where they can put it. You know? And also accused him of being friends of Epstein and just, great. I mean, it's what these people, no, and look, that the new show is not my favorite show. But, you know, I'm a fan of most of Jervais's work, or at least his early work. There's a Golden Globe performances. Like, I'll watch them.

Yes, but I mean, he's a comedy legend, I think. I don't think we have to say, oh, he was the best Golden Globe presenter. He also made the original office and extras and life's too short. Very funny things. I'm not so much of a fan of the one where he was a mentally handicapped janitor or whatever. I found it just to be a little, just why we need this. Just like, you know, he's just, I'm, I'm, I just, I'm, I just, I'm, I'm, just, I'm, just, I'm, so well-intentioned like he's never they never present any range with these characters i mean

rain man did because he would kind of go crazy right like like oh sorry sorry i mean to say crazy but he would like fully flip out if he didn't get the fish knicks or the wopter i like that because it's a little there's all because the gimmick with rick jervase is always like he he's mentally touched so he just says whatever he thinks or his wife died so he just says whatever he thinks It's always like coming up with elaborate excuses for honest people. Hey, I have a, I have a gluten disorder. So I'm going to say this. Oh, you fat, bastard.

Look at you, you're a pregnant mother, you whore. It's fun. It don't matter. I have glucose disorder. I don't matter. Is that good impression of you? No, right? It's not a good impression of Ricky Jaze.

I feel like I got the essence of him. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So anyway, but I wish she was around. Well, look, because here's the deal. We're getting to, we're getting into the whole list of stuff. We'll get to the list in a minute. Because what's happening is the host this year is who?

Who is the host? Look up the host. Because it's, it's Amy Schumer, right? And it's, uh... It's Amy Schumer? Yes. You know any of this? No.

Just Google who are the Oscar host, 2022. It's Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes, and who else? Regina Hall. Regina Hall. Bring up a picture. I know the name. I'm sure I know her. Which...

Wait, there's three hosts? Yeah, I don't know why. Like, I don't know why I can't just have Wanda Sykes do it. It's so weird. Like, all the diversity stuff, it's like... But, like, you know, they can't let, like, just Wanda Sykes host the Oscars. Like, why is one... Just give her a show and, like, she's really funny.

Why is Amy Schumer being... shoved into this. That's such a good point. But, uh, let's see, Regina Hall. I know her from stuff. I don't remember what. I need new glasses. Yeah, I know.

I know her. I need a new contact. I can barely see. But yeah, but her and why is Amy Schumer getting involved? Because here's the problem. Amy Schumer, basically, I think he's the one who started this whole thing, when she said she wants Zelensky to be at the Oscars. Now, I don't think, you know, I think she actually wanted all, like,

get like a leverjet and like ship them over. Yeah. But, you know, I think they, she settled on the idea that we should have him as a television. This is a huge platform, right? Right. We should have him here to do what? Why would you need this?

I don't understand. If you said, if you said, I don't, I'm not going to accuse, I don't even want to like slander the quote, quote, common man, the salt of the earth or whatever. I think most people know the war in the Ukraine. happening, right? I think most people in America are on the side of Ukraine. The ones who aren't aren't in need of like

in being informed. Right. Or then I and or won't be swayed by having Zelensky there, right? If you said at the Super Bowl let's do this. If you said at the, you know, at WrestleMania, no, if again, you're salt to the earth,

I get it. But like maybe there's a chance that you raise some awareness. Who who of the pretentious fool watching the Oscars. And you know, knowing the Oscars, you know, they'll just stuff him

like between like set design and costume artists. Yes. You didn't have put them right before the best actor? Yeah. Get that hell out of here.

I mean, like we care, but not that much. Right. But I mean, I don't know what you think. What's he going to say? It's like,

you know, the war. Hey, he's going to get up and go, can you please nuke Russia? Please nuke nuclear weapons. Let's start a nuclear war. Let's start a nuclear war. Let's start.

On three, one, two, two, three, nuclear. war holocaust you know it's like what are you going to do i mean like what is this going to raise awareness of it's just this blathering pig of a fool amy schumer can just you know i don't even know what she thinks she's anymore she is gone through whatever that machine is that high level like celebrity machine where you like everyone just just sucks on your asshole yeah it's like i imagine it as that like machine in brazil yeah you step into it and it just mushes

your face from side to side. I mean, she's, like, I've never seen anyone go in and come out the other end, so misshaping. I don't mean physically, but I mean, I saw her in a tampon commercial, it wasn't great. We were watching Jeopardy or something, like six months or a year ago, and

we were watching IMDP, we were watching fringe IMDBTV, I think, because that's the only place you can watch at the time. Yeah. And I think that's where they were shoving these tampon commercials she was in. And I'm like, I'm not anti-menstrual women, whatever. I mean, I mean, it's do it, you know, blot it up, clog it up, you know, soak it up.

Do what you got to do. Right. Right. I'm four tampons. But she just happened to kind of, it just wasn't a great visual. Look, she's not, whatever, she is what she is. But you were talking about her on the inside. But I meant on the inside.

I meant on the inside. No, honestly, I actually think it's sad. It's a little sad what's happened to her. because I was, I actually watched that trailer for the new Hulu show that she stars in. What's it called? A fat girl gets a, gets a win? I mean, I'm not the one. She, she needs anything.

That actually would be like a classic Amy Schumer time. Right. What's I'm assuming? It's called like, it's called like Death's Life or something like that. And, uh, and the trailer is just like, she's now affecting this weird indie tone. Should we bring us up? Of, like, of, like, never really, like, cracking a smile or, like, being goofy.

Right. Which, to me, it's kind of tragic, because if you like her or hate her, she used to be pretty, like, out there. Like, it's like, she was out there, but she was pretty expressive, like, on her show. Oh, yeah. Look, she was fine. I, at the time when I enjoyed Amy Schumer, you know, never thought she was to the heights of a Robert Klein. Yeah. I'm kidding.

But, no, but she was funny. I mean, whatever, you know, she was my favorite. I mean, at least until I realized they were probably stealing a bunch of shows. But like, you know, what are you going to do? Make new jokes? And they had some good ones that weren't stolen it, I guess. It was all fine. Compared to anything that's on TV today, it might as well be a Dick Van Dyke show or whatever or taxi.

But like, it was like, I watched this trailer and it was like all the fight had lefter. I'll put it up here so we can. Let's see. What's it called? Just Google Beth Life, Amy Schumer. Beth Life? Like, Best Life? Amy Schumer.

Beth Life? Beth, yeah. But it's called Beth Life? No, no, but it will come up. What's life got to do with it? I don't know. A wife and Beth by Amy Schumer. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

Let's see. Oh, yeah, Michael Sarah is the love interest, and it's super weird. Life and Beth trailer. Just a few questions. I can just save you some time. I've had over. 30,000 drinks. It's train wreck.

I don't really chew my food. And I'm like barreling toward 40. I just meant like any preexisting conditions. I'm a woman. Oh. Well, she's like, all right, behave yourself.

All right, I don't want to be advertising show. This is just train wreck with, you know, eight years later. It does kind of get weirder because I, She basically, it's about her. She basically goes and starts working on some weird remote farm and hanging out with Michael Sarah, who's like a farmer. This is, this is who, this is like, I mean, like, why is any?

First of all, why do we bring her into the Oscars? She's never, she's not, but like, why is she involved? Just have Wanda Sykes do it. Yeah. Wanda Sykes has been in this business for like 30 years. And, like, is like consistently, I think pretty funny. Yeah, Wanda Sykes can definitely host something. She's often hilarious.

I've seen her do what she's been doing lately, but I'm sure she's still funny, right? Compared to anyone they have hosts in the Oscars in the past 20 years, she might as well be Billy Crystal because he was the host. My point is, who has been a great Oscar host? She might be the greatest Oscar host ever.

By default, I mean, like, she is funny. I'm just saying, like, why do you need to shove Amy Schumer into the mix? Yeah. Yeah, what are they going to do little bits together? I don't know. You know, it's like having a period. Anyway, so she wants Zulinski there.

Now, there was back and forward. They said, we're not going to do it, I think. I'm not sure where it stands. I don't know now exactly where it stands. Yeah. But Sean Penn. Do you remember Sean Penn? I do.

The famous actor who was in. And what do you know from? The movie was the people like to... I am Sam. Well, yeah. People like to knock him by saying, oh, you're Spacoli from Fast Times. But he was also a Mystic River being an idiot going like,

oh, my daughter, damn! And he's, look, he was in the, what was it? Like, the movie with the nun. That was decent. Look, Sean Penn's a decent actor. Yeah. He has announced. Now, this is a guy for the younger people

who might not remember, but Sean Penn's a guy who, you know, look, yeah, you think he means, well, like he always seems to mean well, like 10%. And then 90% of 90% is just like weird promotion. Like he went, didn't you go to Katrina with a rowboat trying to find survivors? It's just stuff like that. It's like, it's more than I did, but not really. You know, it's like, I didn't do that, but I'm not,

like, it's things that probably hurt people weren't to help them. Yeah. Or not, I don't know. He probably, he probably gave. some bald war of the people. If you come to me, I'm sure there's a comment

I'll be, Sean Pay saves my life. I was, all right. He probably just, like, got stuck somewhere and had to be saved.

Like, this is really draining resources. The camera crew, like, was draining power. Like, the little power

they had left. He was like, they were using, Sean Penn threatens to destroy Oscar, uh, or Oscar,

does he have multiple? If Zelensky is not invited to the Academy Awards. Quote, I will smelt my Oscar awards in public, Penn says. In public, of course. I'll do it in public. Actor Sean Penn threatened to smelt his Oscars if Ukrainian president Vladimir Zelensky

isn't asked to speak at the Academy Awards. If it comes back to it, I will smelt my Oscar awards in public. Penn told CNN on Saturday afternoon. I pray that's not what's happened. I pray there have not been arrogant people who consider themselves representatives of the greater good in my end. industry to have decided against

checking with leadership in Ukraine. So I'm just going to hope that that's not what happened. I hope every attendee walks out if it is. I don't. These people, what do they think this war? These people are acting like this is the lynch pit.

Like, of like, why doesn't he just join the Azera battalion? If he if he's so, if he cares about Ukraine. Join the Nazi battalion. I'm, I'm going to decide. Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Is he threatening to smelt the Oscars?

Is he threatening to spell the Oscars if they do invite him or if they don't invite? If they don't. Oh, okay. No, no. It'd be funny. He's like, I'm on Putin. Putin's been very good to my family. We enjoy the Black Sea very much.

Yes, I look, I mean, I, I'm, I'm like, just because I call, I recognize there was Nazis in the Azores Battalion. I'm on the side of the Ukraine. Do I have to say that? right yeah i mean look whatever i don't think it has to be disputed right i mean that's i'm not speaking out of school that's not an insult talking point um i mean look it's like it's the kind of thing where i'm sure they claim they've gotten rid of the nazis but in order to get rid of them you have to have had them i'm sure there's nazis all over eastern europe

well that seems like a broad brush no not like all over like they're everywhere but like i'm sure there's some nazis in russia oh um or at least like what you would what would qualify as being like, you know, white supremacist or whatever. Oh, perhaps white supremacist, but I think, like, literally not. I mean, they don't like the Nazis because of Stalin grab, but like that's kind of selfish. Well, look, when you, like, kill a billion people, uh, in the city and you make them eat each other, you don't tend to like them. Right.

But yeah, so I don't know. What, what am I wrong here? Am I being too hard on Sean Penn? Um, look, I definitely think, I do think it's a little unjust that Sean pen doesn't have like kind of an equivalent reputation as like Kanye because I feel like this is clearly like I think he does I look I agree well yeah I think this is clearly every time he does something like this it's clearly mental illness being channeled through politics yes yeah you know he just does such a he has such like extreme reactions to anything it's usually

on the right side of things but I see a porous you think it's a little racist no no wait what he's that he's Oh, that he's not. Oh, that he's not. Oh, no, yeah. I do think Kanye's a little more, uh, or it's just unfair. Maybe it's not. I think Kanye is, look, as much like I hate Trump and so much more. Because I don't like his work that much. Yeah. Uh, like, and so he's just more obnoxious to me. Like, Kanye, but Connie is a little more out there when he has, when he has moments. Yeah, that's true. I mean, like the whole thing. Like, I guess what he said, yeah, I guess him saying slavery was a choice is a little bit more extreme. Yeah. It's a little more outside the box.

Yeah. With that being said, like, I mean, look, he was lambing. By the, you know, the South Park guys in Team America. He was one of the main puppets. Oh, right. Yeah. So at least, at least in some circles, he's seen as the buffoon he is. Yeah. And I guess, like, Sean Penn probably doesn't have as many, like, adamant defenders as kind of he does either.

Right. Like, you know. Yeah. He's kind of, he's seen as, like, a clown, I think. Even, like, liberals don't, I don't see liberals going hard going. You shut your mouth. He's a hero in that broboat. You know?

Let's see his IMD. When is he really big, I mean, the Dead Man Walkin. That was a big one. Let's see. We got TV movies. Mystic River was a big one. He played milk. He played Harvey Milk.

Oh, yeah. Milk was good. And the move was fine. I mean, I don't know Sean Penn was that. Like, look, he's fine. I'm not like trying to kill Champagne here. He was good in licorice pizza, too. Was he in licorice pizza?

Yeah, is that kind of like weird, older actor? Yes, yes, he was in that. You're right. Daredevil. Look, it is decent in the back. I mean, I don't think he's, you know, Daniel Day Lewis. Uh, Into the Wild, uh, Flag Day. That one didn't get much hype.

2021 flag day. Mm. No. Liggerish pizza. Why don't they list, they should list films in goddamn order. He was in a secret life of Walter Middy. Yeah, this guy shouldn't have like the, he hasn't done enough good movies to be this. U-Term was like interesting enough

Thin Red Line out I found that in Sipid I should watch it again sometime Taps I like Taps We should watch Taps sometime Remember I've told you about this This movie TAP It's basically about this

Like military You know like military academies they have For high school kids And it gets And like they want to shut it down So the kids like do a mutiny And take it over But it's like Tom Cruise is in it

A young Tom Cruise A young Timothy Hutton a young strong pen and uh george c scots in it it's great now you're just doing the thing where you where you list everyone in various movies

all right we might not talk I want to know I want to know what other movies are besides Dune and well we were getting alright we I demand to know

the whole look look wait hold up we we will get to that in a minute I wanted to talk about Sean Penn and Amy Schumer's shenanigans. I got it. People who watch a show, then we do a little detour in here. I got into taps. I'm sorry.

I got your, King. But yeah, so we're going to go into the move. You're right. I forgot that we worked for e-entertainment television and that we have to like, you know, we have to like do like a fucking live thing of like, you know, who's being nominated. Even the Oscars are literally happening as we're recording this. You're right. This is the most important thing.

Let's get that up. I think I exit out. I think I actually exited out of this thing. Once you babble, I find this. Wait, are the Oscars really happening today? Yes, they're happening right now. Oh, God, I've lost all sense of time. I mean, it, wow.

I wonder if, I guess it will remain a mystery if they have Zelensky, like, right up until the moment or something. I literally said that. Yeah. Yeah, like, uh, uh, uh, I mean, uh, though, honestly like it's that seems like impossible like I feel like I feel like we would have heard if he was going to show up well I mean I mean I'm I don't know like it's like why don't you Google it they're using the suspense of it Google it they're using the suspense of but let me just give my theory okay they're using the suspense of the

possibility to like garner viewers and stuff but it's not going to happen yes what are you finding? Yeah, no, this is all just Sean Penn smelting, like... Yeah, so there's no new word on it. There's no new word. Okay. It can't be happening.

Okay, so here we go. So, as I was starting to get to before, I'm sorry, I took a detour to talk about Sean Penn. Sorry. But, uh, we have best sound is one by Dune. So that's good. Wait, though. Okay, so the other nominees.

The page I had before. had like the list's up but here we go so for nominees best sound we have dune west side story belfast the power of the dog and no time to die oh that was the bond film i actually like that movie uh it's interesting that it is a lot of a lot of popular movies okay so dune won best film editing and it won best uh production design see they don't they decided that instead of just telling people to shut up which is the point it started to make before a random about Ricky your face is they're going to basically just remove these uh these categories from the telecast and do them at dinner like two nights before they're not going to do editing at

the telecast yeah everything doesn't matter anything of that anything is basically like a fringe category uh we're going to go from the you know the big ones first I guess why is again why does not not articles I never look I try to read articles for this show I try to read this for the show why don't you put it in order of importance i'm like i'm going from like international feature film the best of the original screenplay the best supporting actor or i mean the best adapt to screen just put them in order of how like best film what is best film god damn they haven't done it yet best director best support help me no i'm i'm looking for the winner i'm looking i'm looking for like the nominations best picture here we are so the categories of best picture

Nightmare Alley. Never heard of it. Dune. Belfast. Don't think I heard of it. The power of the dog. Heard of it, don't know what it is.

King Richard. That's the one about Serena Williams. It's that movie they made about, you know, these two revolutionary tennis stars, Serena Williams and Venus Williams. Yeah. Two, like, pathbreaking women's,

you know, tremendous athletes, and it's about their dad. It's great that you, you know, one of the people will knock me i think i mentioned srina uh billy jing king or whoever was more done whatever but you can't

seren williams is a powerhouse um but her dad that's what i want to know about who what was her dad like because he threw tennis balls at them yeah and said hit this he's just he's just like a nicer version of that guy uh uh what's his name ball

what was his first name you don't you don't not lawnzo ball's dad I forget his name now But he was a very outspoken, obnoxious person I'm sure Whoever Will Smith is playing was a great guy though Whatever Don't look up

Wait that got nominated that piece of garbage For best picture? Yeah Oh man It's going downhill I thought that's the movie that Adam McKay did It was with a litany of good stars

I guess He had DiCaprio who I was usually like and Jennifer Lawrence, right? And Merrill Streep and Jonah Hill. And it wasn't, like, I don't care about it's like,

I'm a liberal, this and that. It just wasn't very good. Right. It was fine for like a dumb Netflix movie. But like we're going to nominate for Academy Award. Honestly, it was probably exceptional for a dumb Netflix movie.

I mean, Roma won the Academy Award. I never saw that. We should watch it sometime. But that seemed like it might be a good movie, right? Yeah, much wrong. A little pretentious looking, but probably good. Yeah.

Liquish pizza. oh but i'm saying but don't look i mean that's that movie shouldn't be nominated for the yeah it's how can you put don't look up in the same category as green book uh drive my car uh tinschu yenamoto i don't know what is i mean i'm only intrigued because it's like a korean film or something or i'm only saying korean because the Korean films say that yeah that could be good Korean films tend to be uh in the past couple years with the I don't know

I was like I'll give it just because it's not American movie it might be good we have made good movies lately we've made don't look up that's what we're making right uh who have you heard of

tension tensioni yeah it sounds like a Japanese I don't know look it up look up drive my car what's it about an aging widowed actor

seeks a chauffeur the actor turns to his go-to mechanic who ends up recommending a 20-year-old girl despite their initial misgivings a very special relationship develops between the two why are all these why do people love why do the Oscars love movies about driving so much I know drive Miss Daisy and drive the drive winning Oscar what what besides driving Miss Daisy oh green book right yeah they love it was anyone just talking to each other like pulp fiction yeah they kind of like pulp fiction right yeah uh you got licorish pizza

West Side Story Oh, see, Spielder did that. And then we have Coda. Yeah, I've been looking for an opportunity to watch that. What, Coda? No, West Side Story. I mean, you showed me West Side Story like a few months ago, the original one.

I've been looking for the opportunity to watch it like while you're sleeping or something. I want to sneak it in. All right. Please do. I'm going to do a sneaky thing. I just don't understand like this whole thing. Like, you know, she kills her.

brother, he kills her brother and she fucks him. It's just, I mean, I saw someone bring that up on Twitter, and I was like, damn right. Yeah. No, no, it is a little fucked up how, like, immediately she, like, doesn't judge him for killing her brother, but, uh, you know, it's a stupid movie, man. Yeah. But they do acknowledge it in the musical, because, uh, the older, the sister-in-law, whatever, goes like, that guy killed your brother, but in song, you know, she, she, uh, confronts her.

don't like musicals, all right? Why did you ever saw? Didn't Shakespeare sing? Did Shakespeare sing? I don't know, but like, you might as well have. Like, oh, look at me. I'm killing Duncan the King. I'm Macbeth.

Look at me. I'm a bad man. It's not everything's got to be like, this rape didn't happen. And now fucking if you kill my brother. Like, it hasn't make sense, though. Did I ever tell you that I once starred in a, in a half hour musical version of

Macbeth? Yeah. Oh, you did, right? Yeah, I played Macbeth. You played Macbeth? Another girl, the only girls were interested in that school, only girls were interested in theater. So I didn't reverse Shakespeare. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I ended playing Macbeth. Another girl played Lady Macbeth. Wow. And there was a song in it where he sees, you know, the ghost of Duncan, that big moment of Macbeth. Yeah, yeah. Where he starts kind of going mad. Classic. Classic, yeah, classic. At that moment in the story, I sang a little song that was called There's a Ghost eating toast

But do you write this stuff? No, no, it was like written by somebody. The toast exists back then? I don't know. Why is he eating toast? Well, because it was at a banquet that he sees him. What kind of banquet serves toast? What are you talking about?

My kind of banquet. Lots of car. This is like the most like, this is like one of the most cringe like, you know, Michael Scott in the office doing a rap. thing i've ever heard my life hey look there's a ghost and he's eating toast uh he must be the most scary ghost oh and he started throwing up on stage i don't know who wrote it the script some you're weird drama teacher probably no it's definitely another name some pedophile yeah yeah

look i mean i don't know who but yes definitely some pedophile um that's good do you have a video of that unfortunately it's how is that not recorded by the local news channel it's lost a time best actor Andrew Garfield and here's the twist not for the spider man kissing and hug each other movie uh for something called tick take boom which i don't i've heard of that oh that looked like real it i just expressed a fondness for musicals but that shit looked cringe oh that's the one he's like a failing artist in brooklyn or something yeah enough of that we don't do you want to play a little of the trailer? I don't

Okay. I'll play it on here. Let me. Tick, boom. Oh, it's a Netflix movie. It's about him

writing a musical about not being able to write a successful musical. What do you think is Charlie Kaufman? I am 29 years old. I work at the Moon Dance Diner. Oh, is that? I know a diner. Do we take reservations? No, we do not take... Oh, I pass that diner sometimes, too.

I have an original rock musical. Boy, genius. We've spent the last... We're flying so high. You're going to be rich and famous. Who pierce in the sky. Wait, is it random, obnoxious enough? Enough of this.

I can't watch. I can't be a party to this. We're going to quickly get away from this because I don't want to just keep listening. This is terrible. Whatever happened to me. Oh, Andrew Gorph was actually a really good actor. Yeah, okay. Let him play Batman.

Best actress. Jessica Chastine, the eyes of Tammy Faye. That movie looked like a, we should check it out at some point. That might be okay. What is it, is it by a book? That's how many Faye Baker. Huh. I mean, I don't know.

I mean, it's worth watching instead of, you know, while we're high on, you know, meth. Chris and Stewart and Spencer. Or she played Diana. I wonder if she plays, if she wins when she announced that, like, you know, that Diana was murdered by, like, yeah. Who is this supposed to be the palat, the Palestinians? She actually seems like. She actually seems like she'd get into that shit. Yeah.

She's like, she, I don't know. She just seems like She wouldn't know She has to do something where I read recently I don't care Like it's not like how could you not know this But like I didn't know until the end Until I finished shooting that movie

That like Harry and Megas moved to LA Because like I don't You know I try not to learn that much about But you know she doesn't read the news I'm about saying anyone needs to keep track of Harry Megan but like you're playing Diana You don't know like You didn't like even Google

You don't even Google Diana Any of the time you were, like, researching this role, it would have come up. Yeah. This whole, like, big, I mean, when they went on Oprah, it was like a big deal. And she's, I didn't even know because she, you know what she's doing. She's, she gets, in between movies, she's just doing research. You know what I mean? I have to resist the-

Sleeping in a heroin den. I don't know. I have to resist the unbearable urge to research like I'm always doing. Yeah. What? Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We don't know. We're just guessing. I'm not going to list every category, but that's the gist of the movies. We spent more time than I thought we would. Well, that sounds pretty bad. Yeah, I mean, look, this movie about the, well, I think the movie in the car is going to win. It's any indication. Yeah, they just love two people talking in a car.

That's the highest form of art. Let's come on with a pitch for a movie. All right, so you want to be the executive? Oh, yeah, sure. I got a pitch for movie. Okay. It's two people in the car. Different races.

Ooh. Perhaps one, perhaps different genders. Ooh, mama. If I'm allowed to say that anymore, I don't know. Maybe one's... You can reference to the concept of gender. You just can't tell me which genders. Which are.

Okay. So we have one gender in the back, one gender in the front. Nice. And maybe they seem sex. Oh. Because gender, I mean, it is. I mean, who knows? But, but points we put it on the poster.

We put that on the poster. That's kind of, whatever it is, is the point of the movie. That literal description? No, but I'm saying whatever we decide on, that will be the point of the movie. Like, the tagline will be one gender in the front, another gender in the back. Yes. Yeah. And also, uh, and different races.

Dot, dot, dot, but they're the same sex. Well, I love it. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Don't, like, don't fucking, don't, no one asks for details, motherfucker. Um, and, and they're just driving around, um, looking at houses to, they both work for a hedge fund.

And they're trying to find houses to evict people from. Wait, wait. If they both work in the same job, why is, one driving the other. They take turns swapping. Oh, okay. And then the other one sits in the back? Yes.

That seems a little bit rude. I mean, why wouldn't they? Because I want to point out that both people are important enough to be driven around. Both types of races and both types of genders. Good point. Good point. I was a little out of line there. And they're grabbing children out of their homes going and biting them on the neck going, get the fuck out of this house.

I work for black rock black rock Get the fire biting your neck And they get back in the car And you go that that should be profitable Question quick question How is the audience going to sympathize With these two protagonists Because it seems like they do a pretty evil draw

Because they're two different I don't like I don't be like a dick here But I can't explain this Because they're two different races And they're two different genders And we don't say which So, like, that's why you sympathize with them. Understand me?

So they're stabbing this, this pregnant woman. Oh, God. And go in, like, Black Rock says hello. And she goes, I don't, I think you want my neighbor. Oh, and I'm losing the baby. And it's smash cuts to them at a fast food restaurant, um, ordering various chicken nuggets and milkshakes and say, And singing along that ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no, that song.

Right, yeah. Is there ever a moment where maybe they can have like a hero moment where they have to face bigotry or something because of their race or gender? They drive into a underprivileged neighborhood, I guess you'd say these days, whatever, I don't know. Just think the wire. They drive into a neighbor from the wire with a gun and they find a guy in the corner selling, you know, drug and they just put a gun in his mouth, they give us all your heroin, and then they get it

and they take it. Wait, but how is them facing bigotry? Because that guy that guy was like, thought they were like buying drugs, but they were just robbers. He didn't think they were empowered enough to be robbers. Maybe like in that, look, if one of them is white,

maybe that guy didn't like white people, if one of them is black, they didn't like the black guy. Who knows? But at some point he says, what? He says something to the effect of, why is there two different genders and they're racist in this car? And why is one driving the other one around? I don't like the look of that. And they put a gun in his mouth.

They take his drugs and they give it the children to try to frame parents to CPS to get them kicked out of these houses so that their job of Black Rock, they can make more money. So. Think like good time, but we're two different races and two different genders. Got it, got it. Got it. drove around in the car.

So, so. Or uncut gems with two different races, two different genders. Great, great. So here's my next question. Here at age 24, we really like to have a big central conflict that will,

that will almost prove, you know, impossible to overcome. They forget at one point when they get back in the car, who was driving last? Who was being driven last? And it leads to a little bit of a kind of a

power dynamic and that needs to get resolved and how does that get resolved? They flip a coin okay that seems like it would have a pretty quick and then they shoot a child again they flip it they make a child

they put a gun to a child's mouth and go flip this coin and then like they shoot the one who's holding the gun shoots a child. They put a gun to the child's mouth or in the child's mouth just too it looks like a graphic I don't even know of fitness.

I don't know if we could do in the mouth. It's such a young child. I don't know if it fit in his mouth. And so point is. So the child flips the coin and then they shoot the child? Well, it's kind of an interesting moment because as he's flipping the coin, the other guy shoots it. Or it was a heads of tails. He's like, oh, I forgot to wait.

And that's the end of the movie. So that's the conflict. Well, well. you know I really think this could be the next Green Book it's it sounds

I'm copying a lot of lines from Green Book honestly so I'm glad you said that great speaking of Oscars I guess I think this is at the weird mini Oscars where they gave like the stupid things like film other thing

awards and like maybe some photography they were Francis Ford Coppola and you remember him from like the godfather and apocalypse now and Peggy 2 got married you know great guy he he had this idea of how to solve the Ukraine which is like I don't know why no one from the Pentagon

reached out to him but see let's see if this is audible kind of weird recording of weddings and realize that their sausage kibasa is different than our sons each and so my heart is so filled with love of Ukraine Americans who if you know them

they have these wonderful dance competitions and world why does that matter what if they sucked it dancing if they didn't dance well you wouldn't want them to not live in the shadow of a Russian dictatorship this world today and I can't

this is a rich culture let's not kill them about that, excuse me. You know, also I confess I met Putin and I met Zelensky who is really a show business guy, his whole government's and I know

of what I speak when I say if one word would just be said one word with the force of meaning stop, it would stop. Is he like Victim blaming Ukraine. No, I think he's like blaming us for not saying stop.

Yeah. This doddering old fool. I mean, like Apocalypse now is still like my favorite film of all time probably, right? I love, I love, and the godfather is okay. It's good. I mean, he's very good. And he's made some, he's made some, I like the rainmaker. This daughtering fool, uh, he really is just like senile.

He thinks like he thinks this is a film set, you know, like, but he just says, he's a show business guys. If you say cut, they'll stop. Trust me. I know actors. If you say cut, they stop. Otherwise, you know, you can fire. I don't.

This war is a fetish. Yeah. I mean, it's a real war. I'm on the side of Ukraine, right? But we are pumping this like it's just an orgy of just, like, here. Like, look at this hero. Oh, I stupidly didn't even think of this before, but it's like, of course these guys are coming their pants

over an actor president who's bravely standing up to Putin. It's the movie Dave. Right. We're like Kevin Klein just in Brando who like becomes, he happens to look just like the president, whatever. It's King Ralph, but King Ralph probably would move over Trump. And look, I just don't understand. all like, you know, like, give this guy, you know, just nuke Russia.

Why can't we just new Russia? And I, I just, like, it's just, it's a lot of fun for them. They, they, he's wearing, he's articles about his green shirt being iconic and how he's just like, I mean, at no point is anyone saying, like, are we going to keep, you know, maybe, maybe we're going to use this leverage. You're doing well in the war. Maybe let's like scale it down. Nah, fight to the end.

Let them bomb key. forever you're Zelensky the king of the the king of the Ukraine I don't know it's there is such a level of insanity I mean it's not even the left it's the Democratic Party fundraising crowd and believe me the rights got their

their odd balls but it's such a level of like I don't even know what you call this just weird like it's like porn for like is it's Oprah shit is that the best way to think about it Oprah yeah like it's just like

coming your pants when you see some guy talk about being a junkie right and it's like you wrote this too eloquently he's like and then I shot a child I pitched a movie where I shot a child and I was in the car wow that's so deep let's try to do a call back to me

yeah it's just weird that like Hollywood optics never get better because like these people People are in some ways, like, kind of, like, what they do for a living is optics. Like, it's like, the right wing you can kind of understand because they don't really give a shit about left wing optics and they, or even if they, like, kind of care about centrons optics, they're just, like, they're just maniac. So it's like.

Well, look, here's the thing. What do they always do? What are these people always do, these actors and even the directors a lot of the times, they fuck the writers. Right. Right? The difference is when they're in these movies, they have writers who are like, at least kind of get it.

I mean, they're also insipid a lot of the time. But, I mean, half the time they have a decent writer. Yeah. And they want, well, every chance they get, they fuck them out of points on the back end, right? And then they fuck them over, they don't give them good catering, probably. And they don't let them on the set is what happens. You like, you think, you think like, you know, who's, who's, who are you, you and Charlie Kaufman, you know, envisioned the, the imagine video for them?

No. They just, they still got like, hey, we could do this. Right. Who else is a writer besides Charlie Kaufman? Who's a big writer these days? You don't know? Tarantino. He's his very director.

He's doing his own thing. Yeah. Says the thing. You're a writer and you barely can name like just standalone writers. Charlie Kaufman. Noah Bombach. Right of director. Yeah.

Can't say Wes Anderson. That's true. You really can't name any like big writers? Any person who just writes? Who's the guy who wrote the party? it might uh i used to know all the names of i liked him i used to know all the names of spike lee's writers that who he writes with right but he can't write them anyway that point but you're proven my point and you're a writer yeah you're in the writers guild right it's like you can't even name

these people and that's how and that's why this exists because no one because these actors get together and they're like you know they're basically kind of like oh well let's mount a let's mount an opposition to the Ukraine. It's like we got Gwyneth Paltrow and Copla and stupid Sean Penz. And we got, you know, Copeland, is the director. Should we get a writer? It's like, who? I thought they're, you know, you're going to have to write the film before that?

The director? No, no. The writer, the person who wrote the script. Oh, the script supervisor. You remember when you got a script? The guy, the guy who marks down whether I'm wearing a hat or not. Remember when you got, you know how you're, like, you're an actor, right? You know how you get attached to a script that's going to get turned into a movie sometimes?

Oh, the thing with the words. Yeah, the thing with the words. The thing my agent reads. Yeah, the person who wrote that is the writer. I thought there was a transcript. A transcript of what? Whatever I'm playing. You think this actually all just happened live somewhere and they made a transcript of it?

Yeah. Didn't? No, no. made up it's like it's made up it's a story someone made that's that seems fake news uh no but yeah i mean they they might as well they don't respect writers and that's why they're insipid and also they're idiots and assholes and aloof and they're drunk with power and money and whatever they do with epstein um you know uh it's a little late in the game for this but you know we usually just a little earlier in the show but uh this week's batman

this is and this is not don't give me don't give me that sometimes there will be in the future and there's been the past characters who aren't batman this is a female i believe yes it is this is batman that's that blow your mind a little bit this is called the drowned this is from the dark night's metal series uh yeah that is that was technically called batman earth 11 but it's you know the nickname is the drowned because basically it's a multiverse story much like the spider man hugging kiss each other movie uh this is also a different kind of multiverse thing a dark multiverse thing i don't know i get into it i read the story last year i remember every detail of it i'll read you the back they become i should do this

every time i should have the card with me that comes with the figure so we can read it from the back uh source batman the drown number one real name bryce wayne nice 5 foot 11 160 pounds this is not as important Bryce Wayne of Earth 11 harbored a deep hatred of the Atlanteans for their role in the death of her beloved Sylvester Kyle Wow

What's that evoked to you A Sylvester Kyle? Yeah no who's Who's another Kyle Selina Kyle Oh cat woman See, it's a man cat Is a female bad man, a man cat woman And they have a kid together or something

Tricky, tricky And the quest to avenge Kyle She spliced her DNA With the head of an Atlantean Becoming a superpower dark night Called the Dround Cable of breathing and fighting underwater Is that a seaweed skirt?

It looks like kelp. Yeah, seaweed, yeah. This is still Bruce Wayne technically. It's, you know, she has a lot of Trident, like Aquaman. What do you think of that? Do you think she could, maybe she can star in the, in the, in the film that we were pitching about the driving. She could be one of the drivers.

Or, you know, she covers too. She's, she's different gender, right? Yeah. And also a different race because she's Atlantian. That would be funny. Like mixed race. It's like, well, we have a, what do you have? We have a white guy.

Okay. And then black or Asian, Atlantean. Yeah. but uh yeah she's pretty good at holding the trident and fighting and what what is this evoke to you well it's it is kind of like a she is kind of like a cooler aquaman i've never been super into aqua man he has an orange suit i mean it's not great i'm not really a fan of him just breathing underwater yeah um breathing heavy probably yeah he is supposedly in the newer comics a little more edgy what uh what would you like you know let's take this as a springboard

what other um alternate gender slash whatever version of a batman character could we come up with um non-binary batman in space in space interesting yeah so he's what does he look like or she what do they look like uh they yeah their name is um uh zed wait a name their name it's like it's not like naming someone he or she I don't think you named someone

an ultimate pronoun I don't think you're understanding how pronouns work wait is that a pronoun yeah it's one of those isn't like zer and so oh maybe oh maybe yeah I'm wrong maybe maybe it's sir not zed I'm sorry sorry if I'm off I'm offending any

zers their name is zarolia and they not just bat Zoroli Wayne Zeroli

okay and they live in a space colony it's sort of like the Martian where like where I didn't see it

where Batman got left on in space and he had to like kind of build his own colony okay right

but he got left in space and they had to build his own someone left Batman in space someone brought Batman to space

yeah Batman's just like part of some like generic space mission yeah and they left them behind

so it was a space It was the reality would they just like, hey, have a good way to get rid of this Batman guy. Yeah. Because apparently he's really rich, he's smart. He always has to think so. Yeah. Let's just bring him the space and leave him there. He went up to space with some like Elon Musk type.

Yeah. And then Musk just bounced. And like, do you go up as Bruce Wayne or his Batman or Bat person or Zerolio? They went up as Zeroli at Wayne. Okay. So not as the bat. Not as the bat thing. Yeah.

Maybe that person, nothing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's go with that person. And so what? So like Zerolia starts a colony? Yeah, like they have to survive. And so they use... Who's they?

Oh, they're sorry. You're right. I got it. They have to survive. And so they use... So who's the colony? They use what little supplies they were left with to basically build like a kind of a makeshift tent. I don't think one person counts as a colony.

Okay. And then I don't know. They discovered. space people or something and then they just start really saving people in space to discover space people and even though like they're trying to survive they're the one say is so

like Zerolia is still doing like the white savior thing yeah they're saving whoever they're not like oh no we know this planet this is our planet we're going to save you no I'm going to come to your planet with no supplies really ill prepared on the verge of death

but somehow I'm going to save you interesting I like it I don't I mean It's a bat chick Hey Yeah

Bat shit crazy There we go Did you have a It's just It's just Like it just looks like Batman He's like

You know When they ask him Like What are you name It's just like I'm bat And like Well you know

It's just a bat I'm a bat And he's like You're not Batman Basically the same thing but it's a bat why you got to emphasize

the man part that's just he dresses like uh his suit has a you know he goes around and he goes to like

you know kids in like houses and he beats them up for black water or black rock whatever so it was the same thing as the other thing

but he doesn't go a bat man it's just bat and he goes I'm a bat yeah cool cool

so what was it you remember what I was doing whew. You were hooting. And you insisted that bats hoot. Bass hoot, right. Yeah. Anyway.

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