Kump - 113 - My Best Friend Bob

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss Fauci, Lizzo, inflation, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to come. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. How are you? Good. I like your new hat. Thank you.

How am I? What? How am I? How are you? how do you think I am a little frustrated a little cranky yeah I've been was that you call me cranky yeah a little yeah a little bit I've been cranked I was losing my mind directing to kill myself uh over my hat um couldn't I'm wearing this hat I bought this hat as part of a elaborate outfit which I didn't end up putting together it's a Memphis

Grizzlies hat of the Memphis Grizzlies fame uh John Morant his their player um also i don't know i forget who else but uh they they went out in the playoffs they're gone i'm not grisly's fan per se i'm a liar welcome to the show uh what else is going on how are you feeling i'm yeah i'm fine um because you only had a good fire i brought a brand new hat because we fucking you know i lost the other one i got a little messy with sweat we're playing disc golf in richmond virginia disc golf this golf this golf what a game i hope to one day retire to a land where i can play disc golf a state park every day with my male counterparts how do you how would you describe the game of disc golf it's a bunch of junkies just throwing a frisbee

metal cage that they should be inside of that's how we described disc golf they should be shrunk down to a size where they can fit into that cage and have other junkies throw discs what you call them frisbys at them yeah they happen at these big uh the state parks where families are picnicking and then junkies are just throwing throwing discs heavy metal disc muscular junkies just well-abled well-bodied junkies yeah they should be they should be

this should be some kind of sting operation where you just lure people of ill repute I don't know what goes on in these states these fly is it it's not even a flyover state is it no it's a what is a flyover state do they play disc golf in the flyover states in the it's the one of the games for the deplorables Hillary Clinton's deplorables I know men who go out into the into the bright summer summer sun and throw

disc set cages that's my presidential campaign so anyway I got a sweaty playing disc golf in the barreling heat in Richmond, Virginia. Let's just go out at noon and there's just the sun and just fucking throw it frisbee at a cage. I should have fucking stood up for myself. Anyway, it's a fun game, I guess. Welcome to the show.

Welcome. Well, we have today in the docket, let's see. what's going on in this world what anthony fouchy anthony fouchy the savior the man who um the man who ran the lab where it came perhaps came from the only man the man who got in the helicopter that they came and said fouchy we know you just whatever the man who threw the pitch he threw a hell of a pitch Anyway, we know you were involved in this Wuhan lab, wasn't he? Is it, can you be the one to save us? Or they already had the job.

Did we recruit him for COVID? No, no, no. He was already there. He was just a schmuck in charge. That's why the theory is started. Right. That maybe it was a. It was a Fauci job.

Yeah. And inside Fauci. Anyway, this man who throws pitches. and sometimes, uh, talks about vaccines. This man who is Italian, this man who wears glasses and has a haircut designed by a chimpanzee. If a chimpanzee could be trained to cut hair reasonably well, he would have cut Fauci's hair. And that's, it would look exactly the same. We've had, we've had one vaccine.

and Fauci has had like a vaccine in like six boosters and we've had COVID the exact amount of times he's at COVID. Well, let's not get into conspiracy theories here. We got our COVID. We paid our penis. Yeah. Penness. Oh, yeah, you were saying that earlier.

I don't know why it's not being able to say penance. I just keep saying penis now all the time. Do you? I have, father, what's my penis? And he says, it's right here. I'm writing a robotic fanfiction or whatever. Fouchy has COVID. Yeah.

He has tested positive for the deadly disease, the potentially deadly disease known as COVID-19. COVID-dash-19. Do you pronounce the dash? I forget. It's been so long as anyone talk to me about COVID. Which wave are we on? we're on the

I don't know the ass the ass wave yeah it makes you infertile in the ass don't spread medical rumors we are a reputable show a show of not ill repute we're back from the doldrums

we're back in New York and we're not going to spread rumors about Anthony Fauci and his gang of we don't his best friend is probably some boy soldier some boy soldier yeah you think you think Anthony Fauci is best friends with a child soldier like from what like Rwanda or like Sierra where was the big thing of children child soldiers was that where the beasts of no

nation take place I think it was a big thing in Rwanda I don't know a piece of no name so he goes to Rwanda to give vaccines of all sorts to look into diseases and he started the platonic totally aboveboard friendship with a child soldier i'm not saying it's above board in the well let's not spread rumors on the comp show so he's why how do you envision him being friends of a child soldier i don't know i just imagine him being at fancy dinners and like and he's like i want to introduce like my friend it's like it's like social points for him that he's friends with this a 14 year old with this rwandan boy soldier they have a vague they have a vague story about how they How do you imagine

that this boy is dressed in these fancy functions? Like if in a fancy way he's not on duty as a child soldier at that moment. Oh so it's okay you know they don't have like formal This is not like the Navy where you have like your dress blues I don't think the child soldiers of Rwanda have dressed blues

You know like a class A year seems like an assumption I don't think you get a I might be being you know jingoistic here but I don't think the boy soldiers of Rwanda have Class A uniforms Who do you think is the nicest dress uniforms? Which branch?

Which branch of child soldiers? Oh, that's who? I mean, you can include them. They work for us anyway, don't they? Yeah, that's true. Good point. You mean the U.S. Army? Well, who has the best?

The U.S. military, you mean? Yeah. Yeah. Military, yeah. I would say probably the Navy. Look up the different dress uniforms of the U.S. military. And they compare it to the U.

the dress uniform of child soldiers who are fed what's that thing cat cat cat they feed him cot yeah to get them all hyped up it's like a cocaine leaf type thing it's not as good as cocaine I think these don't look good

whatever actually you know the army that one guy's wearing camo he's going to show up to a fancy they're wearing like camo like rifle what the fuck this is weird so all right

so how do you so he's so he's got this child soldier who's like 14 and he doesn't look he's not when he's tall ones he looks he's like five foot five yeah or maybe he used to be like a child sold like they met while he was a child soldier well i don't know he's like he's like he's like but you won't let go you just come you're there goes fouchy with his child soldier arm and arm but he's like a person of interest at dinner parties where either just like you know so i'll be fouchy you bitch what's his name Bob? Yeah, it's called him Bob.

Bob. We call him Bob. I don't know what's real name. He told me his real name was I couldn't understand it. Bob, tell everyone at that time you participated in that brutal massacre of pregnant women. Yeah, it was horrible and, you know, they gave us a lot of drive. That's marvelous. Can you imagine such a thing?

Can you imagine such a thing? I have COVID right now. I shouldn't be at this dinner. Oh, I'm just, I'm just breathing on everyone. It's okay. I'm boosted. I'm boosted. I'm boasted here.

Can I have a waiter, waiter? Can I have some spaghetti mixed? Can you mash it up with, just mash it up with some crackers, some saltine crackers? I like saltine crackers. Can you mash it up? Bob, Bob, can you talk to them? Actually, if you have your gun bob If you have any, uh, just raw wheat

I'll eat that. Thank you. That's so, that's such a jingoistic thing. You think people in Rwanda eat raw wheat? They might turn into porridge at least. They don't just eat raw. You think he's a horse? I think when you're a child soldier in the wilderness, you might settle for raw wheat.

I think that in, when you go to us, child soldier basic training i think they teach you head like turn raw wheat the porridge somehow or at least some kind of stew you think he's used to be chopping down on cud like a like a cow just fucking you're thinking like fouchy dresses up his child soldier friend in a tuxedo from briggs brothers and has him come to these dinners to regale his guests with stories of massacres and it feeds him raw in front of these fancy people like you some kind of spectacle to behold probably not probably not so just just a spaghetti and crackers please you can cook the wheat for Bob we cook things here this is a Rwana we cook wheat here you can cook wheat

we don't we we were dying in the wild I'm an eagle scatvin I wouldn't know what to do of wheat? Yeah, I wouldn't know. You're supposed to You mill it. How do you have to mill it to get flour? You could probably mill it

with like a mortar mortar and pestle. Probably use a grind up some admiral too. Why don't I just do that? Yeah. It's fucking doing wheat. So

so hearts and prayers go out to Bob the child soldier and how long has it been since he's been part of the child's army? Maybe like it was like in his youth

and maybe now like a man of 20 so it's like maybe five years ago so what are they talking about like i'm fouchy bob how was your day how was your day bob it's just us um it's been good i went to the uh u.n and i talked about the horrors you sued he went no no i just talked to them about the horrors of child did you have your gun when you went i don't it i don't carry a gun with me anymore anthony all the better for that was part of your past but not your future bob but i tell you it really is you Yeah. When I'm dealing with these Washington bureaucrats, I mean, I tell you, it probably, it probably gets down a little faster. My right, Bob.

My right, Bob. Yeah, you're right. We're best friends, Bob. You're a cut up, Tony. Oh, do we make a pair? Oh, what a pair we make. Who would have thought the two of us best friends forever? Bob and the Fouch.

I know it sounded absurd at first, but now you can see it, right? It's just absurd. I mean, it's terrible. A war should be started over this. How do you get it? Do you know? Did Bob give it to him? I wouldn't just assume that Bob gave it to him.

Well, it's his best friend. I don't mean because, like, you know, Bob's not clean or anything. I'm just saying because Bob is his best friend. They spent all his time together. So, I mean, like, you know, maybe Bob is not a disease specialist. so who's more likely to go you know eat a bunch of you know uh spit somewhere or you know I mean you probably got it from like his wife or something's filthy wife is his whore wife

wow look up how did you get COVID because he's the best of the best right he's like a special forces guy of COVID yeah I don't care which one yeah did you write how to get COVID I don't know I don't know if you read how they get COVID yes did you Google I told you too yeah I don't think they're gonna say he either either it's maybe I'm gonna say either it's just hard to figure out how someone got COVID at this point or they got he got it in such an embarrassing way that they were they're trying to hide up well like a blow job yeah from from his wife he got he got a blow drop from a pangolin a panglin i mean what uh why does he contact trace himself

because that's probably bullshit they probably don't that probably doesn't work you think he got shooting heroin you think but you think he ever unwanted you heroin they just take some hurt like a train spotting oh yeah who would he be in train spotting fouchy um would you be Would you be E. McGregor? Would you be Johnny Lee Miller? Is he sick boy? No. Goldfinger's better than doctor now.

Bob, goldfinger's better than doctor no. They're both better than diamonds. It's forever, Bob. Pass me the gun, Bob. He would be like the old veteran. Bob, give me your gun. Where's your gun, Bob? I need it.

I need to go to my wife's birthday party. And I need something to talk about. What do you say about? veteran he got him a veteran that veteran he would be that veteran guy the guy who's veins collapsed oh he oh he's a swanee they call him mother's superior account on account of the length of his habit anyway fouchy's alive still he hasn't died of COVID no it doesn't look like it I would feel so bad for bob if fouchy passed away yeah me what would bob do with himself I mean I don't know he definitely wouldn't get imagine if bob was just

same access to high society. Imagine if he was just grifting Tony this whole time. Yeah. Tony Fauci. His whole time he was just pilfering money off of him and beat him up sometimes. Like he, like Fauci has presented this guy as his friend to like the entire inner circle of DC elites. And so now Bob's gotten by the fucking balls. And now he just beats him up, takes money from him.

And he goes, what are you going to do? Tell everyone I fucking did this. That your best friend did this to you. You're an embarrassment, you're cuckled, you're a, what's the word? You're a victim. No one will believe you. I'm so beloved. I'm Bob's a child soldier.

Fouchy. What kind of name is Fouchy? Is that Italian? Yeah, I think so. The Italians really eat spaghetti with saltine crackers? Probably be good. Oh, that sounds disgusting. No, you get a nice big bowl of like spaghetti or maybe some linguine, right?

Yeah. Linguine. That's how you say Linguine? Give you some Linguine. As good as the Italians are at cooking. That's the kind of disgusting thing they would do. I'm just talking about. Let's put some crackers on.

What about oyster crackers? On Linguine? And honey. Actually, maybe in linguine. Like, with clams sauce. Exactly. He's always on. We're not like green, right?

I'm just saying that. It's what about some honey? You know, one time, honey's good in spaghetti. It is. I, as a kid, my mom had made like sauce once and left it in the fridge next day

and I took some and put it in a bowl and I concocted. I added honey and pepper flakes. I kept mixing it in kind of balanced ratios. It was delicious.

You have the child that of a little rascal putting chocolate sauce on spaghetti. Is that? it's honey honey is a chocolate sauce all right it's it's made by bees try i'm trying to uh trying to confront bouncers and getting run off what you're talking about oh you're telling that story well yeah like you know my parents had got the hulu dancer wait hulu hula dancer uh yeah it was perfectly innocent i'm sure i don't think the hirlo dancer was fucking my uncle or anything right in the basement of a part of that party

but you know just the hula there but you don't want little kids I mean I see these kids and these pictures people post with a hooters and also at the drag queen brunch where they eat spaghetti I don't know

you don't belong here or the kids don't belong here the hooters and the brunch with the drag queens so I guess people whatever but my parents didn't want to have the hula dancer influencing me yeah

so he it was a big guy large black like black guy just like a leather vest and like just old school and uh he just stood it on the steps and you know in case me and my brother wanted to get into the basement and look at this hula dancer and uh we and like at one point i had this uh ghostbuster's uh Halloween costume in the proton pack and I put it on this is reminded that because you were re-watching some old stranger things and they were all dressed up like Ghostbusters and they were jog this memory in my head

and I went up to the bouncer with my and I just kind of... Did you point your your proton gun at him? I might have. You little racist. He didn't flinch. Yeah. He was fucking, his hand was steady.

Yeah. Never, he never fluted. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? You dumb little kid with a ghostbuster. Some fat kids squeeze into a vinyl ghostbusters. Fucking with a piece of plastic on his back. Like a fucking moron. He's just thinking about all the fucking, all the, all the, all the shit he has to endure in his life.

And I got this kid. This fucking fat kid. Wait, so did your parents, like, hire a real life bouncer to keep you out of the, to keep you from getting little boners? No. No, I think he came with the girl. Oh, okay. Yeah, he, like, worked for her.

he got cut yeah you know it might have been a good root not good ruse but like an effective ruse uh if if the people downstairs were more seedy right hey can you can he stay up here to make sure the kids don't come down and then they're playing grab ass in the basement you know show us your tits holler and then he has to rush down the stairs and he falls and he tumbles down the stairs and breaks his neck and then they little book is a hula dancer and they go now what it's like a horror movie oh wow right yeah this sounds good sounds good sounds good i mean for a movie yeah i'm just saying like you know it's uh he broke uh what's the word operational uh protocol it couldn't mean the secret service right you know they would never like rule one never agree to

keep the kids out of the hula shit you hire someone for that anyway uh moving on once we got going you we were talking speaking of uh shows that are on netflix which i was for a moment there you had you told me about this new thing on netflix this new reality show that was inspired by another property yeah they're gonna be they're gonna make it I'm teaching you broadcasting here Is it Wheel of Fortune? No, it isn't. Oh.

Is it a rested development reality show? No, it isn't. It's a Castlevania. See, the anticipation's building, can you tell? We have to start broadcasting and teasing. Yeah, you're right. Is it a cuties reality show? Oh, I, I, don't you wish?

No. What is it? It's a reality show based on the show, a hit show, Netflix show, Squid Game. The Squid Games. The Squid Game. Welcome to Squid Game. So it's going to be Squid Game. So it's probably just going to, wait, knowing Netflix, it's probably going to be like,

everyone's got, you got to do red light, green light, but they don't kill you. Yeah, they're not. If you haven't seen Squid Game, it's a movie about a bunch of people who like playing kids games and getting shot. Have that correct? Basically. It's some socialist tripe about how, like, it's hard to be poor. Oh, no, we can't pay our bills.

And they go, how bad we'll pay your bills and you play this game? Something that everyone complains about athletes for. Oh, they just play a game and they get all this money. so that people want squid game that's true stop flashing please um now they they are there is going to be a giant cash prize what's the cash prize 10,000 dollars bigger than that really if you can imagine

I can't it's gonna be 4.5 million dollars what has this work explain this game to me then I didn't realize there was details I mean I think they're still developing it but it's going to be basically a bunch of kids games like they're going to use some one's some kid games from the show but they're like beating up crippled kids yeah getting molested kid games uh um going hungry your dad being mean to you

yeah um where else are kids games lead poisoning I mean what kind of games I mean I'm already sick of a squid game they're going to make a season two aren't they they are going to make a season two you don't you just just they just redub it readdub it really in any any look and this is not me being raised this or jingoistic because they should do it they should do it also in other countries just make an alternate dub of squid game i watch the sub versions you make new subs and the same visuals maybe can mix the scenes up you save a lot of money this way but you

mean like like this season two will just be squid game in another country i'm saying when they move their mount it's not it's not saying what you want anyway right because the nature of dubbing things yeah just redub it make it make it make it about uh make it make it make it a gosford park what's that what's that show people like downton abbey yes you act like i'm crazy but you got it immediately so like it's like uh the uh the the worker are the players and the societal elites are the guys with the little shapes on their mess. Put them up it babies over.

I'm saying, like, read them into a new story and you don't need to film and release it like a month later while I still care about Squid Game. They keep filming new things. I'm watching Stranger Things like six years later. Who cares? These kids are all old.

They're like my age now. Yeah. They all have like lung cancer. 18 Going on 50 They have lung cancer Black lung They're all

They have like you know Scoliosis Acney They have Csarion scars Seasection scars They have vaccine scars Sick of it

Right Give me a new squid game A month later Give me a new stranger things A month later You just redub this shit You just fucking And, you know, like just, just fucking.

Would you mind if all the action was just happening in front? Because I think that doesn't leave a lot of time for post. You take a fucking picture of a new monster and they just kind of like put it over the other monster. You get the idea. I don't need to. Oh, the monster looks real. Oh. I hope I don't go to the upside down.

Give it a crap. It's stupid. Oh, I'm living upside down. You didn't. like vekna you didn't like the fact that's fine don't spoil anything about it people still haven't watched a new season which took since that came out six years after the other seasons oh veckna oh what was it mind flare why he's got how about there's some guy who works at arby's he's just killing kids this is this is strange you know why is the lord order have like a 5,000 episodes and they

make like 12 episodes this shit every six years You release it in two parts. I feel like you're not taking me seriously. Would you, I think this is an opportunity for, I think you should go on the squid game, reality show. I would bring a gun. And they would see how, and I would say, this is the squid.

The squid's going to play a game. And I would blow my brain. You should, you should go on and lose in the first challenge. and then sue them for not killing you. That's a good idea, actually. Yeah. We should delete this episode and do that.

What else does Netflix have? I mean, I don't know. It's Squid Game and Stranger Things, right? And then the umbrella academies. Oh, right. We saw, we just watched that. I showed you the first two seasons. Yeah.

I'm not some umbrella boy. I thought it was a decent of them show, though. It's fun. Yeah, no, it's a fun. It's a fun. It's a fun show. They have that. Enjoy that, Fauci, while you're recuperating from the disease.

Bob gave you. You can watch the umbrella boys. Anyway. So what do you think? When's this Squid Game show coming out? I don't know yet. I don't care. I don't care.

I have it written down here, Lizzie. What's that about? You mean Lizzo? Lizzo. Okay. the fat woman yeah that's her whole thing right i'm not me i'm i'm fat but like it's her whole gimmick right she does like to emphasize her size i'm a big girl is her song is that she has a song going like big girls fucking cry big girls eat pie no i should i should write that for what's going on with lizzie

Lizzo released a song called Girls Girl's spelled with three R so it's like grr Like my grizzlies hat Gurr Right And what My grizzlies hat

Like yeah like your grizzlies hat Gour Eat honey Anyway going She has a And people are saying There's an ablest slur in it Why does she tell people

They're allowed to walk you're allowed to go for a walk that would be that would be that would be the opposite right because she doesn't want to walk anyway I almost had her

that would be a good singer if I was ever to Rosa Lizzo I said don't you ever walk and then Greg Gerardo's ghost just is telling me I'm a fat fuck right yeah that would be a great roast I'd love to see if Greg Geraldo's ghost came I'd be amazing I miss him I mean I for all I never knew him personally I mean he might have been a violent cocaine head I don't think he was violent but I'm saying he might

not have been nice to me he might just been cranky um well tell me about this what's the label is about this song gur well do you want to guess what the what the slur is uh does she call people um you hoop de hoop hoop hoop do you yeah why with me and my girls sitting around eating donuts no hoopty hoops around yeah where's a lizzo girls but what do you think hoopty hoop would be a slur for i'm not gonna say don't you think you get me on the fucking who you like john uh saving the bull Gravana recording me. I'm John Gotti.

You're some rat. Oh, and who are the hooty hoops? What you? What? Be my girls. Eat the pizza. The hooty hoops allow. Gher.

Hoopty hoop should be killed in the womb. Oh, shh. Those hoopty hoops. I killed one. I buried them in my pizza box because it's so big. I got so much pizza. Hey, I'm fat. Don't give a shit.

I got songs. They sound like shit. This is crazy. Okay. I'm just going to read the lyrics. Please. All right. Bitches.

Bitches. Oh, girl. Hold my bag, bitch, girls. Hold my bag, bitch. It's full of caramel. Hold my bag. Do you see this shit? I'm a spas.

Bag? What's the slur? I believe it's spas. Who self ascribes himself as a spas? I feel like that's all people do with it as self-ascribe. Who is a spas in real life? Like who actually? Who's that actually?

I've never. That's not. like retarded right where like it did used to be used as a thing right I feel like usually when I hear the word spaz it's somebody going I'm such a spas right but I'm saying who is it actually applied to I don't know that's what I mean like it's like it's short for spastic right yeah I guess so like someone with like you know Tourette's maybe but like it's one of those things where it's like I don't think I've ever heard I guess people do occasionally say like You're a spas.

I don't know. What, to like, to, like, you know, Lizzo? It's a Liza. Should have you a fast spas. I mean, like, I don't even know who's supposed to be about. I guess because it's short for spastic. Who's spastic? Someone who's, like, you get hiccups all the time.

That's true. What is that? You're looking at pictures of. Would that be spasper? Fancy girls? What is that? What are you looking on? Did you log on to the pirate page to look up news?

What is this? Why is Spaz a slur? Yes. A hyperactive person. It's derogatory. Towards who? People who say Adderall? I don't have mentioned it twice now.

Wait, hold on. The first one is a slang derogatory offensive, a stupid or incompetent person. Hey! So I guess, like, people who would... Who are morons? I guess if you just go, hey, I'm stupid and incompetent. Don't say that about me. Look, I fuck up everything.

And that's referring to you. I've been fired from every job I ever had. for being a moron for not being able to follow basic uh instructions and i'm i take a great offense at lizzo i i haven't been diagnosed with an actual uh disability but i am very stupid and bad at my job i am a i'm a nurse who has allowed 12 children to die on my shift and i take great offense I wanted those babies to live by the way I just had no idea what to do I was reading I tried feeding them

sand and raw wheat and they died I tried my best I pointed the gun and said live baby live and the other the next baby started flatlining but I was reading people magazine

and it was getting really good Well, that's happened. You're confusing apathy with spas. That's true. Someone who's a moron, apparently. I mean, is there something else? I mean, there's someone who gyrates also counts a spas? Yeah, I guess so.

Are we going to get pulled from YouTube for saying that? I mean, I don't know. I mean, Lizzo changed the song already? Yeah. Oh, yeah, she did end up changing the song. What did she change it to? I am kind of curious. Real artistic integrity there.

Yeah, really. don't shut down this gravy train literally yeah yeah because she's full of me just go for us where she changes lyrics to what I got no integrity I got bowls of honey gurg do you see this shit hold me back is the new lyric instead of what

do you see this shit I'm a spaz doesn't even mean the same thing Yeah. Dude, her songs are so pointless that, like, that doesn't matter. Hold me, you see this shit, hold me back. You see me, I'm such a spas. Yeah. Completely different songs.

Yeah. Completely. It's like, it's like, uh, there's a lady who should, and she turns. I don't know the words, actually. Surve to heaven. Yeah. And the clocks are, she's building a stairway to the attic. do you like what's what's those big hit uh truth hurts i think is a pretty big one

how does that go truth hurts don't don't tell me just tell me i look nice what is it um truth hurts me there's something more exciting i don't care that's the only one i give a shit at any of this there's also what else is there i don't know who cares I mean, look, when I was growing up, I had Kurt Cobain, you know, I had Pearl Jam. Old man comes at it again. I had Pearl Jam, any veteran Kirk Cobain. I thought you didn't like Pearl Jam. And MC Hammer, I don't like Pearl Jammer.

And then MC Hammer, too legit, too legit. I should say it well enough, they would copyright strike us? I don't think we'll ever get copyrighted from you singing something, to be honest. Because it always sounds like a completely different song. Too legit. Too legit. I quit. Speaking of music, you said something, the beat, the BTs? The BTs. The BTS.

What is, I've heard of this before. What is the BTS? It's maybe the biggest K-pop band in the world. You best like saying, like, do they, don't they, whatever, go on, I won't say that. I mean, it's all catchy. It's all very catchy.

They're not breaking up, but they're taking a break. Gives of shit. Tell me about this stuff. Tell me. They deny their, they announced that they're taking a hiatus. And honestly,

aren't the girl, because all these type of bands. This is like, how long is BTS? been around um since 2010 i think i mean aren't these girl i mean what who what there's just like cycles of women i guess boys maybe into it because it's that music right there's into like the band it's like it's like it's like with the backstreet boys these things have a shelf life because no one wants to be like you know whatever jerking to the to the old guys that's true and uh and these

girl like once you actually start you hit like 16 maybe or 17 meant you you just you know start dating other people who I'm saying this is not for like this is for lonely little women and men lonely boys I think that K-pop is more

of like it's not I don't think it's so bifurcated in South Korea where it's like oh like only only 12 year old girls are into this and only like adult people are into this like I think that there's more of a I feel like the spectacle Yeah, it's probably mostly 13 year old girls

But it's like I think the spectacle is kind of a Aren't they all 23 now? What are they doing with their lives? Is it, I mean, is it North Korea or South Korea, by the way? All right, let's check out V. Are they from North Korea or South Korea? They're from South Korea. I don't like.

I prefer if they're from the North. Why can't they do like, why can't they go live in the North? That'd be a great reality show if BTS went to the North. Imagine that. You talk about Squid Game. BTS North. Maybe that's what they're on hiatus to consider. North BT.

Someone get me in touch with these people. This is going to be our big, you know, a big crossover with BTS. I want to pitch to them. They go to North Korea and they and they try to take it over. Is BTS big enough that they can sway the North Korean population

to overthrow the ills? Do they what you call them? The John Il's? The Kim's. We know. Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-sun. Kim Jong-il. Yeah, it's the Kim Jong's, right?

Yeah. Can they overthrow the Kim Jong's? I think that, okay, I could imagine a scenario where it's like, you could make it almost like a formal diplomatic talk. Right, but they sing. Like, yeah. Well, it would be, but basically, BTS would be like, we will come and be a property of North Korea

in exchange for you, you know, adopting more liberal policies or whatever, we'll be like the... Listen here, you got to give your people a gun. Wait, no. Listen here. You got to feed your people a gun. Listen here. You got to feed your people some wheat. Raw wheat.

Oh, yeah. Listen here. I want a toilet made of gold. Listen here I want to be the emperor boy Listen here Give me some dog And I will wear it as a coat

I mean when they just started singing I mean that would be amazing If BTS just started They don't have to move there first But if they just started singing about how Kim John Oon We're going to take your job Kim Jong-un, I'm going to eat you, Kim Jong-un, your people are going to suck me off.

You know? And like, just, like, just threatened to, like, you know, take them out. They would be so instantly killed. By who? By North Korea. No, I'm saying before they go. Oh, before they go. Yes, in the South.

It's just, and they pump it over the DMZ. Kim John Oon, we're BTS, we're back. Kim John Oud, nuclear attack. Kim John Oon. Suck me off my sack. Kim John Oud, I'm going to have a snack. What would happen? Imagine that.

Yeah, I don't think he'd be happy. What's he going to do? no career i i don't think he has a lot of reach in the south that's true does he have nuclear weapons yes well they're always he's always trying to get him right it was they go limp right yeah does south korea have nuclear weapons yeah i think so really we gave him we gave him stuff did they give them their own i'll get up i don't know if they do that's crazy if they do why do we give them with nuclear weapons were they get it on their own look this up Oh, they don't, okay

Kim Jong-oon We got a nuke for South Korea Kim John-oon We bought it on the black market Kim John-oon We're pointing at your pool I mean honestly They should do more with that

They're not big enough I mean Would that rise inflation We have a lot of inflation in America right now I know yeah you were you were you were talking to me about that was I what I say what's happening with you the Fed rated raised it like 1.75 basis points I don't know whatever I mean I think you got to raise the like the interest rate probably I don't know it's a lot of supply chain issues you got Ukraine you got Russia you got the

oil Saudi Arabia is basically so I mean honestly what's I was Saudi Arabia they were supposed to be our friends weren't we helping them seriously weren't we helping them invade Yemen didn't we like help create that like their country that's the funniest way to describe like our relationship with Saudi Arabia they're supposed to be our friends

I mean like Bash year I think our relationship with them is tenuous I mean Bashir don't you remember what's his name Prince Bandar Bandar Bush I mean he was friends with the Bush family Why can't the Bush is I guess they own the oil companies or whatever

But why can't they go talk to Bandar Bush? Maybe was he killed during the whole Salam what's his name Salomon? Salomon oh during the old takeover Yeah maybe I don't think he was killed by I think he's less powerful now Wait his name is Bandar bush no but I call him that because look at Prince Bandar You never heard of Prince Bandar? No he was like the the Saudi ambassador for years and like Yeah he's like really good friends of the Bushes

Oh, this is the guy who's friends with the bushes. Yeah, yes. I remember, yeah, okay. Why wouldn't context clues just tell you? I never really knew the guy's name. I knew that they had connections in Saudi Arabia, but I never really knew. I don't think it was just this guy.

I think they ended up meeting other people. Look, and they helped to do 9-11 or whatever, you know? He's their Bob. He's their Bob. Well, yeah. If Bob was a billionaire. Yeah, I guess Bob's a loser Compared to this guy

But yeah, so I don't know why They're like, you know, screwing us on the oil thing now Maybe because we made such a big deal about Khashoggi Which just seems crazy I mean, look, it's brutal But we made out, we did the whole Abu Ghraib thing Right I mean, I'm sure America's killed Joe

I mean, I know it's not like Trump We kill people too I always thought that was an answer to good response I always thought yeah it's not look yeah it's not a bad retort hey we kill a lot of people here but I mean because they got this golf thing you hear about this golf thing no so it's called live golf I think or live golf I don't know but like basically uh Greg Norman I think started his golf so basically Phil Mickelson just joined the Saudi back golf league that like anyone who joins it he's kicked out of the

I don't know if they get boycott if they kicked out of the PGA or whatever but they're just giving them tons of money and like Phil Mickelson is just like you know in a lot of debt so he joined. Oh right because of all the gambling yeah degenerate gambling

the generic gambler but uh allegedly although I think it's pretty but um but yeah so it's like but everyone's got can like you know apologize for Kishogi and stuff or there's the other people who killed Kishogi we drop

Predator drone Hellfire missiles onto weddings with little fat kids You know Playing probably playing You know squid games Right And you blow it up

And like oh they killed a journal Oh yeah And they just remember them Like I'm not saying it's good I'm not wearing a t-shirt That displays the Khashoggi murder You know Right

I'm not for it But it seems kind of odd To like Look they got a lot of oil maybe we just lie and take a show he was a bastard i'm not saying it was i'm saying he's probably a good guy he was he was already dead at that point the issue was that he's an american journalist so right like it's not i guess he was one i mean he's american citizen maybe yeah i think so yeah that's like i mean yeah you can i guess you can look he's dead already

what you think they're gonna stop killing american journalists no just don't go to Saudi Arabia. I don't know why we tanked this whole thing. We let them do the whole 9-11 thing. I mean, it seems odd that it all came out. Oh, 9-11, the Saudi intelligence knew and all the stuff. It's like, well, what's happening? Nothing.

We just let them screw with some OPEC. It's not we invaded Saudi Arabia. Oh, boo. Boo. It's like all these years of, like, allowing these people to, like, you know, install, like, brutal. you know, dictatorships in their countries

to get the oil. And now that they kill one journalist and we're like, boom! What's that? I was looking at if Keshoggi was American. Was he? Well,

I think I just saw that because he wrote for the Washington Post, but. Yeah. Is he American? He was a U.S. based drills. You can't just come here once

and then be like, you know, and now we're like, Dunker oil policy because you went back to your home country or whatever. Got, you know, meat cleavered. I'm not saying it happened. I'm just saying it's just chaos.

The CIA killed Kennedy for what? Sorry, I got parched. So why was Kishoki killed? I imagine because he was very critical of the dictatorship. All right. I mean, look, do you think we like, did we, did we create a parliament there in Saudi Arabia? for him did we spend years like you know pushing for liberal reforms no of course no i mean this is this guy gave him the driver's license of the women look it's the kind of thing where i we never asked

them for that it is the kind of thing where i doubt that if like it happened under biden that like anyone would make as big of a deal of it as they did with like it's like but also probably biden would be like this is unacceptable and then not do anything about it yeah i look no one ever does anything I'm surprised that this happens, my point. And it's fishy. It seems like there's some long game going on. Like where we had to disavowow Saudi Arabia, even though we're doing stuff with them.

Maybe. I'm not that, I'm kind of ignorant about this. I mean, it's like, look, if they were so upset about Kim, John O'N, are you part of OPEC? We're not sure. We don't read the news. I mean, how much evil does, like, Saudi Arabia want us to do for it?

Like, it's like, we're killing the babies in Yemen. Like, it's like, what, it really needs us to shut up in the back of sugar. We are there, right? We are doing stuff in Yemen, right? Yeah, or at least were until very recently. Yeah, it's like, I don't understand what was the old pet. Look, how about instead of cashing our chit in, that's the term right, they're catching your chit? How about, instead of catching your chit about a dead journalist who's already dead?

we should have said like we'll leave it we'll keep this this we'll keep this iOU for yemen i'm being real politic here i'm being henry it's like hey we did atrocities in yemen for souda arabia we helped them what we're gonna do with that uh we'll just have some morphous boo fest for kushogi again but your solution to it is once again to be a little rascal and to just like and to just write up like useless ios so what like six years later you when they're when they're with the whole hoarding their oil or whatever. Yeah, you go over there and you show them a little,

a little piece of paper with IOU written on it. Well, it's not a literal I owe. It's a metaphorical chit. I mean, I'm just saying, and you're like, remember Khashoggi?

They're like, yeah, I mean, it's been six years. Do something about it. No, no, no, no, no. You're cashing at these imaginary IOUs. They cash in there. It's not a metaphor with my point.

Because we made this big deal about Koshogi. I look, if we could bring them back. to life, then yes, do that. But we couldn't. They cleaved this guy up and now he's just in the win, literally.

And it's like, and we just went, boo, instead of saying, turn the oil back on. It's a knob. Just turn the knob. Just open the faucet. If you're going to play the high stakes game, you got to play it. When you play the game of Thrones, someone wins.

anyway uh cam john moon um there's a heat wave going on oh yeah yeah i don't know much about where is it going on

I don't care they passed some gun legislate or they didn't pass it yet but apparently ten Republican senators are signed on for a little bit of gun control a little bit yeah a tiny bit of gun control look this up for me

I want to see every detail I want to know everything about are they banning guns um from everyone the confiscating guns I just I need to know it's probably like a bill is

just like it's now illegal to shoot children we're clue we are reconfirming that it is illegal to shoot babies thank you we're actually

we're gonna we're gonna sunset Jonathan's law Jonathan's like I say teach Jonathan's law Jonathan's law was a loophole that allowed to kill children if you're using an unregistered weapon anyway go on what we got

U.S. Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell said on Tuesday he was comfortable with the framework of a bipartisan gun violence bill unveiled earlier this week and would vote for it if it's not changed substantially um with it do it sells guns arms teachers so it looks like they've got like uh so the plan includes support for red

for state red flag laws keeping firearms for potentially dangerous people tougher criminal background checks uh like like like for gun buyers under age 21 that's probably good and a crack down on straw purchases by people buying weapons for others who could not pass a background check yeah that probably shouldn't be allowed. Yeah, I mean, these are things that should have been illegal anyway, probably. And like, but this is why I've always said, just do something. Right. Just like, just like you can point and go, no, we tried this.

We try it. Hey, another shooting has happened. Hey, hey, shut your mouth. All right, we made it illegal for someone to illegally buy a gun for someone who couldn't qualify for it. So don't you give me your booze. Fuck you. I'm a senator. Yeah, look, that's something.

I mean, like, I don't. I've never really felt like there has to be like a assault weapons ban or whatever. Like, yeah, I've always been like the same way. It's just like, just do something. Make the effort so that we don't just keep having to say, we do nothing. Now you can sit down, look, you pass this, and then you go, you do nothing. I did nothing. Nothing?

I close the straw man loophole. So why don't you go the hell, mother of dead kid? I did nothing. I made it illegal to wear a hat during a school shooting. Where else we got? That's what it is? Yeah, I mean, that seems to be like the main points of it. I mean, also raising it to 21 makes sense because 18-year-olds are all...

Raising what to 21? 18-year-olds are filled with too much cum to handle an assault weapon. I mean enough come need more testosterone then go play football these some of these kids are just not

they have done enough like you know they're under they're under testosterone they want to feel like a man so they go shoot people but they should just

you know play the cross like I did you know I was about to say retort why don't why don't women do mass shootings but there actually was a woman they keep dropping the gun

I'm on the way of there. Well, there actually was a woman shooter recently at YouTube. Oh, really? Oh, right. Yeah. Well. And she did fumble it. She did?

Yeah. Wow. Thank God. Thank God women can't be shooters. This woman looks real. She's real, real weird looking, too. Yeah. Yeah, the YouTube shooter.

Look at this weird face. Oh, she's fine. I think she looks nice. This is her on YouTube, I think. All right. Well, you know. stop it in YouTube to get them look into us

wouldn't clean your own house all right uh I think she looks fine I think you're being critical what what what should I not talk about this

no it's fine I don't know what to tell you I'm just saying like she was like a she said it felt like did you know a lot about this one I don't know anything about it she felt like her a channel wasn't getting enough views

and so she went to like a YouTube headquarters and shot people. You should never shoot people. Yeah. I want to make that very clear. Anyway, but the gun control we're on. Yeah. Right. I mean, do you think that is, do you think it's enough?

I think they should make it illegal. I think you should, I think they should fund cops with pizza. How does that work? I think they should give every department a, like a special credit. card and when and when and so when they're like out of shooting um they have like you can order pizzas for the book because they were there for a long time yeah waiting to do something and so they can kind of get some pizzas for the boys you want cops to be in the wake of the uvali shooting well you want you want the you want the car after the cops bungled it as hard as they did you want

them to be able to have pizza parties during school shooting i'm saying well a pizza party don't twist my words all i'm saying is they're going to be sick around anyway not doing anything i don't when it comes time for them to do something i want them not to be hungry you know it's it's not perfect world now i'm just trying to put band-aids on it so give them yeah sure a pizza party i thought my cops to not be hungry well i can't argue with that well they're not doing anything to save anyone You want garlic nuts, too? Sometimes you don't want to get your hands too greasy.

You can pop a garlick knot in your mouth real easy. And still have another. Imagine a greasy trigger finger. No good. You pop a garlic knot. Garlic knots are basically grease balls. You can grab one with a napkin and just pop it in your mouth, though. So you're not being creative at all.

You're being an obstructionist. You're being silly. You're not, you know, you're not trying to. solve anything. Look, if a cop's just eating a slice of pizza, a folded up slice of pizza sadly. I think you can argue that's not a pizza party, but once you start

including sides, that's a pizza party. Look, if you strombol, I ain't going to hurt no one, right? Strombolies, yeah. Look, not everyone wants a piece of pizza. Some people want a strombol, some people want on a calzone. I'm not saying we get everyone a whole calzone, you kind of have.

Nice ham and cheese calzone. You split it down the middle it's a nice little meal look if they go in if there's anything left after they you know a few hours later when they save the kids finally whoever's left they're going to be all cramped up running after the kids no i'm saying a few hours later whoever's is still alive they can give them if there's anything left the kids can have something the way out that would be nice you know some cold p because it's cold by then yeah no but still if you go if you start the day You're thinking you're going to get shot and you end it eating a slice of pizza even if it's cold. Yeah.

That's a major improvement. That's better than not. Yeah. You want some cold pizza or nothing? I think it's some raw wheat down in the block. You want to drink some of that? Bob's eating some raw wheat over there. Have you want to join them?

Yeah. Thanks so much for tuning in. Thank you. What do you want to do you guys? Do you want to plug? I want to promote. want to plug the comp patreon comp patreon you know look this is amazing you sign up at patreon.com so as raycum links in the description you get extra episode every week for five bucks a month

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