Kump - 115 - Mr Page's Opus

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss Ray's drunken shopping sprees, culture wars, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to comp. Hello. Hello, Lucy. How are you? I'm doing okay. I didn't get an extra hello. People are going to point that out in the comments. It's going to say, why didn't she say,

Hello to Ray specifically. Look, I'm starting to feel like maybe I've been indulging you a little bit too much. I need to be indulged. I need to be catered to. I am an important man, an important person if you want to be inclusive about it. And I just don't understand why I, we don't even know most of these people watching us. That's true. And you, but you say hello.

What about me? I say hello to you. Look, I just think Are you cheating on me? I don't know if this is like, I don't know if what's been happening is caused for an intervention. I don't know if it's caused for, you know, a plea to you. A plea to me? Yeah.

What do you want to plead to me? I think you're getting a little crazy with the drunk purchases. All right. You're going to bring us up here? you bring us up now I am a gentleman I am a scholar I might like to have a drink

from time to time yes and when I drink I'm sorry I don't go puking in the gutter like every other American I'm sorry I don't go waving my dick at the bowling alley I'm sorry that I don't start hate you know

hate speech crimes or war crimes or gun crime any kind of crime you know know, I don't protest at a nursery and scream mean things to babies. When I'm drunk, I like to, I buy books. I buy a book sometimes.

Buying a book, sure. I bought a nice book while I was drinking. I was drinking some gin, and you're going to hold that against me. What book? It's a lovely novel from my youth. Jerry Spinelli's. Jerry Spinelli. He sounds like a problem.

Maniac. He's on a registry. Jerry, hey, he's me, Jerry Spinelli. I read his books. Madiac McGee. He's sitting there with like, who would be like Joyce Carol Oates and like Joan Didion? There's some book authors conference. And they were talking about the age of magical thinking, a little crap day, right?

And what do you do? I'm Jerry Spinelli. I write kids' books in Brooklyn. This is a bad kid who runs around and fixes racism. Explain what you? You read some of Maniac McGee. Explain it to people. It's a book that I remember from very vaguely as a kid who runs around.

It was kind of a mythic. I don't know. This Maniac McGee guy. I don't know. That's why I bought the book. I was in my drunken stupor. I was like, What was that book I used to read?

There's not some kid. He was running around, and it was, like, in the middle of the Watts riots. In the middle of, in the middle of Selma in 68 or something. Some white kids fixing the effects of slavery. Yeah, apparently this book. Am I remembering this correctly? I've read some Jerry Spinelli.

I haven't read this book. Okay. I, apparently, you explained to me. What was the book? You wrote a fucking pickup artist book? How to neg women and make them yours? I read a book called Ringer that was about a kid who goes around

Ringing the Necks of Pigeons But then he falls in love with a pigeon How was this for kids? Do you want to read some of the Let me, I'll read some of this And you're gonna feel bad for like You know holding it against me They say Maniac McGee was born in the dump

They say his stomach was a cereal box And his heart a sofa spring This pretentious They say he kept an eight-inch cockroach on a leash. He had to fit in an eight-inch cockroach? You know he wanted to write? They say he has an eight-inch cock. And the rats stood guard over him while he slept.

They say if you knew he was coming and you sprinkled salt on the ground and he ran over it, within two or three blocks, he would be as slow as everybody else. I fucking hate Jerry Spinelli. No, no, look at him. Like, he's so obvious. He's trying to make his own little hub. Finn. No, you know, everyone wants to give a lot of crap to Stephen King, who was famously drunk and

high for years while he was writing. And you watch, like, it, or you read it preferably, but you, I watched it. And, uh, there's a lot of weird, like, kind of sexual stuff. And apparently he's much more in the book. Do the kids all just having sex with each other? And, and people are like, hey, King was, like, blacked out when he wrote it, you know? It's like, but I mean, this, this is what a black guy who drunk actually writes when you thinks he's writing, like, you know, the Great American novel.

It's like, it's Canadian's cock. Yeah. Publishers like, can we change cock to cockroach? Well, it changes the meaning, but whatever. I need that booze money. Of course, we joke. We're sure he's a very lovely man who's not litigious at all. But yeah, apparently this is about like a white orphan who brings the races together.

Yeah, I mean, someone's got to. Is this how you imagined yourself when you were a kid? Yes. A little maniac. I would have liked to, yeah. uh so what so i bought a book crucify me at the at the at the at the whim of punchers pilot it's not just the book ray what is it what have you brought what is this all right there's off we have office we have office figures now what you right first of all this is these are good figures like all this is the these i found this on

amazon this is i haven't been buying figures forever This is the deceased back girl. I don't even know what this is from, but you can't see it. But this back girl, you can see her in the back. She's like a zombie or something. She looks like she's just like, you know, super-sucking on an eight-inch cockroach. You know, we've just got a lot of blood in her mouth.

I mean, whatever, it looks cool. She's a woman. Aren't you privately by women figures? There's another one. Well, that's the, I mean, this is like, look, this is a figure I've been waiting for forever. This is the Batman of Zeranara from Batman RIP. Phenomenal.

This is when Bruce Wayne programmed himself mentally to have a failsafe in case anyone, like, subdued him. The subconscious would take over and kill him. And that's what this guy is. I love him. I don't regret this at all. And to top it all, just the worst Michael Scott figuring, and I could have ever imagined.

I don't know why I bought. This is just a generic man. I want to be honest with me. remember buying those and being just very drunk and being like yeah fucking you only live you only live for a while you only live for a while i pick up that one this is dwight this one's a little bit better i was literally black out drunk when i bought the i don't remember i bought them off ebay and i don't remember buying them at all i just saw like in my email like oh you're i bought some off ebay and thank god you're only like 10 15 bucks i mean i've seen these like

I mean, on a whim, I just looked, when I was buying these figures back in the day, all the Batman's, I looked like, oh, is there office figures? Not that I wasn't going to buy them, but there was like, Michael Scott was like, hard to give. It was like, I saw this. I'm like, oh, my God, did I buy that expensive Michael Scott figure? I remember us, you showing one of something like this to me online. I don't even admit to watching the office to people, really. I mean, we watch a little time, but like when we go to sleep, you know, it's not like, it's a good show, but like, it's a good show, but like, You know, I'm just not going to be like, oh, you guys, you guys see what Dwight said? I remember you sober.

How crazy is Creed? Or creed? What's the name? Creed. Yeah. I remember you soberly showing me this figurine online and going. Like six months or a year ago. Yeah.

And going like, this sucks. Right. I would never buy this. I was drinking gin a lot of, maybe a lot more gin. Like gin goes down smooth and it does something to you. I mean, you drink whiskey and it makes you all hot, like up, right? And I fall asleep. Yeah.

Oh, sure, yeah. Like, I don't have to say, people react to different liquor. Some people go crazy with tequila that they start, you know, hurting themselves. Yeah. Apparently, gin is my goat is my new party drink where I'm just ready to rock. Let's fucking take her pants off and buy action figures and read books about adolescent racist, racism, enders, guys who end racism. I think I did a good job. I think it's fine.

Take on the table, please. You're shaming me. You didn't bring the other one up. There's another one. Don't just throw them. Treat them with some respect. They're goddamn collectible, you know, assets. This is lovely.

What is this? I bought two women, two female figures. And you're calling me a creep. This is the bat, the robin from Dark Night Returns, the famous Frank Miller comic to the girl, Rob, from the future, you know, I'm not going to defend myself here.

These are all tax deductible now. Uh, anyway. Welcome to the show. Before we go any further, a little reminder, if you have, if you're not part of, anyone knows?

What? All your talk, all your big talk. Lucie. Why? You're not subscribed to the Compt Patreon. Oh, my God. You're not, are you?

I'm embarrassed. You should be. It's an embarrassment that my own partner, it doesn't pay money to listen to the show. But if you, we have a Compt Patreon. Many of you enjoy it, some of, you know, and thank you for supporting the show. Thank you. Just letting you know, we usually say at the end of the show, and just in case people, you know, don't see it.

You sign up at patreon.com slash rate comp. It's $5 a month to get an extra episode every month. It's fantastic. This week, guess what we have? A very special episode with the hilarious Tim Dillon. It's a really great episode. It's very funny. I pirated it, and so I got to listen to it.

And Ray has some... Ray told the story on there that I've never heard. That was very enlightening. I don't want to get this to be an infomercial. We probably overdid the plug here. I don't know. We got a Patreon. It was pretty great.

Actually, we just have a thing. Sign up for the Patreon. I'm getting the hang of this, all right? But yeah, check it out. Also, check out. I'm going to be doing a live podcast with Tim on August 7th at the West Hampton Performing Arts Center. West Hampton Performing Arts Center. We're doing a live podcast in West Hampton, Long Island.

So get tickets for that. Go to Tim Dillon, Tim J.dillon.com, I think it is. Yes. Just type Tim Dillon into Google. And so there you go. See me live before I'm not. Too much. That's too gloomy.

Whatever. I can't be the positive, you know, force in everyone's life. I can't, you know, I can't save everyone, Lucy. No. Anyway, enjoy. Thank you. So we got a lot to talk about. It's a week of, what would you call it?

A lot of action on the gender war front. Yes. It seems. What was the first thing? I guess we're going to order. Chronologically. This one's a little bit from last week, maybe, but bring up the friend of the show.

JP. JP, yes. I'm obsessed with him. I got, what do you call it? I enjoy the guy. I usually think even though, you know, I don't agree with everything he says. He's a reasonable guy usually.

Usually has a very rational argument. You can argue the specifics, but he's like, he's making points. He's out there. He's making them. He's also making friends. He's making friends of a lot of lovely men who cry. I notice that a lot of the time, like when he's talking to a person,

it's pretty much guaranteed that he'll say at least like a few reasonable things. Sure. When he's talking directly to a camera, that's when it gets crazy. That's a great point. That is a phenomenal point. He's, uh... If he's talking to an audience, if he's talking to a classroom, he'll usually end up sounding pretty... I don't know who filmed him.

like giving it like you know like took him hostage and made him do a confession on camera or like filmed him in a non-voluntary video to get my drift i don't know what happened to him on film that forces him into these strange states of being he always looks like he's about to announce that like he's been poisoned that that somebody is coming for him like i think he pictures himself as like kind of a like you know just like a lovely professor and we're just kind of with a fireside chat and we're just kind of we're taking in the ambiance and he's going to call he's going to dead name someone what do what he what he do well this week it has something it has to do with the eliot page Elliott page from from the umbrella academy which we watched yeah

look they they did a whole coming out episode with the, you know, name change and all of that stuff. And it was a little awkward. It was a little awkward. I think they got through it pretty quick. I think they were aware no one really wanted to dwell on that.

Everybody wanted to get it out of the way. I don't know what you had to do it, but whatever. I don't know. I'm not saying they had to do. Maybe both sides wanted to do it. Maybe Elm. Page wanted to do it and Netflix and the creators are like, fuck yeah.

We definitely, yeah. Just keep us on the air. whatever we're just show is a show on netflix who cares just give us some money you want to who else wants to do so you want to you want to you want to be a one change your whatever and then he starts realizing he's getting offensive like i am right you want to change your sex uh i never mind let's cut action whatever but anyway so elliot page is now uh well is i don't know always been a man I don't know. Well, look, that's going to be debated.

I don't know how you're supposed to refer. But, yeah, whatever. They changed Elliot's name, even in the O'Nos show, he was season one and two. It's Elliot Page and the credits for those. Which I guess is like, I mean, it's a kind of thing where it's like, I see what people are saying with what are you're going to rewrite history.

And I get it. But it's also like, it's also a superhero show on Netflix. Who cares? I mean, like, there is, look, I'm not saying there is no, I don't know. It is the kind of thing. where it's like, you know. I don't want to be my hill that I die on. Sure.

Like, either way. Yeah. Like it's like, but yeah, you know, it's weird. Like, Paige is A list. I would say there. I would not call Ellie a page A list. Were you crazy? Maybe when Juno came out.

Sure. Yeah. That was 20 years ago. But that's say that even. I'm just saying. Okay, 20 years ago. The whole like. Are we actually getting in the time machine?

I'm just saying the whole backlog of name changes in the credits. Probably wouldn't happen for like a D-lister. well to be fair they're not a list but they are top billing on this show uh yes so that's why yeah right fair yeah no if you were like the the the uh the fifth lead we're like me or the seventh uh supporting what you call it the butler right the guy who played the guy who did the voice for the monkey butler or the chimp butler whatever he is no they probably like yeah we'll change you going forward but you know can you go back and like we edit the credits like no no it's a big no you just don't you just have it like we have to bring up the hard drives and come it's like

we export them to like we just keep the hard drives lying around it actually probably was like a decent amount of work yeah keep like the files lying around probably oh yeah no yeah no whatever i don't care who's getting whatever i'm just saying the buttlers some a e and netflix had to work a next night so elli page and not not be dead name when you when they watch your own show check your privilege you assistant editor that's why you're an assistant uh but yeah so jordan pearson though is not a fanbrough academy is that what happened i guess no he thinks that uh you know the story line with uh clouse really really took a dive what the one we i love club we went into vietnam and look this is in my opinion he's got jordan peterson just thinks that narrative

is a little unrealistic don't spoil because claus is a great you know this is a great you know But the point of the show is on to review the umbrella. What did Jordan Pearson say about Mr. Elliott Page? All right. Let's just play it. Can I say Mr. Elliott Page? That feels, is that okay? I don't think it's wrong.

It's Mr. right? Mr. Elliott Page. I would assume Mr. is fine. If Elliot is fine. I feel like I'm going to get like, you know, white man checked for saying that somehow. Why, you think people will think it sounds sarcastic? Probably. I don't know.

I'm not saying I can't wait. but I can't win but I can't win. Okay Hello everyone A few days ago I penned an irritated tweet In response to one of the latest happenings on the

Wait didn't he quit Twitter He like yes over What was it over? I remember The fat model The fat model that he's just I don't want to fuck this woman Look at the fat body No

Not beautiful It's just something you would yell with a dog Not beautiful No But what was Should we know the tweet first before we Watch this video Is he gonna tell us

Oh he does Usually usually people When they make these videos Don't repeat verbatim what their tweet was But he's going to Yeah he's interesting He does a little screen cap and everything Fair enough

Yeah No he came He came to fight increasingly heated culture war front in response to the decision of an actress actor named

Ellen Elliott Oh God You're doing It's like just you What or the other You're doing multiple He's got We should have the video

But sorry But next time But like You should The whole idea He's doing multiple For a video like this He's doing

He's got like a It's like It's like Like master class And he's got like Two angles One of him's kind of weird the side angle it's not great

but whatever point is like you could have been like if you, that's definitely deliberate because when you're doing two stangles you don't have to worry about jump cuts you can just be like Ellen, let me do it over Alan Elliott I mean I don't know whatever I mean again it's just definitely it's shots

fires what it is awkward and impossible naming style because it is now apparently mandatory and probably doing it wrong look I think even if you take the most authoritarian leftist right i don't think their idea of like the mandatory naming style is you say both names and both pronouns no what is that we're supposed no you're supposed to just say

elliot page right now look if you don't want to i don't know why you care but whatever uh this is where i lay on it uh there are other issues i'll get to we'll get to in a minute what i take issue with sometimes right but for this i think this is like call them by the name whatever We just don't. We're like, whatever. They're not even relevant. Or just don't. You have to review Umbrella Academy.

Yeah. How often is Elliot Page even come up? I mean, there's a reason they're on Netflix. It wasn't working out that great. They were in that really crappy X-Men movie. And then like, what else? Or an inception. But like, that didn't seem to like to attract for them.

Right? Like, it didn't seem to be a big breakout for, now you get into trouble. Like, that would, was that Elliot page, I sympathize to a point, but when you're introducing the person, like, say it once correctly, and then fluster and flummox. Right. Elliot Pay, and then you refer to the back catalog.

Yeah. And then you can get all like, oh, how do I refer to this? Yeah. An inception discourse is complicated as it is. I mean, you know, I only watch the movie for Michael Kane. Yeah. Nonetheless, as you're doing it wrong is the whole point of what has been made mandatory,

but also I'm trying to make a point. I've essentially been banned from Twitter as a consequence. I say banned, although technically I have been suspended. Okay, yeah, I was about to say, do they ban him for that? I was like, well, technically, I don't know why you have to say technically. Like, you got suspended. Now, I'm not saying it's appropriate, per se. I don't know.

It's a whole discourse we could have, right? Well, like, a man such as yourself, a scholarly man, technically suspended. I mean, it's a big difference. Words matter. You would say that. That's your whole thing. Words matter?

Like, I'm not going to be compelling. Words are important. Words create society. Anyway, I was, like, I was crucified on Twitter, literally. It is really. My blood was let out like a fallen calf or a felon calf or a felon tree. Like a fatted. I am the fatted calf on the altar of the non-binary mechanism.

It is really funny because have you ever- Buy my new book, 34 more rules for your wife. It's a great Mother's Day gift. Really teach your wife something. She needs to learn. Have you ever been suspended from Twitter? No, I got, like, flagged on Instagram on Thanksgiving, I think, for, like, posting a picture of ISIS and saying, like, thanks for the troops, whatever. Which is like, I don't know, it's kind of, I mean, it was years ago. I mean, it's not like, I think that's people do it.

But, you know, I want to call it hack, but, like, you know, it's been done. But this is like five years ago. But no, I don't get to. I tend to just say absurd stuff. I don't know. I don't get into the muck. I should get into the muck. We should get into the muck with all these people and just fight them.

And like, who cares if I're like, oh, I actually support people and don't support people? We'll just start fight with everyone. I guess that's what's called trolling is. We should become trolls. For the show, I'm saying. I once did get suspended from Twitter. What do you do? You barely even tweet.

I got to, it was a long time ago. It was like I got to spend it because. Sarah Silverman had just basically some guy on Twitter called her a cunt. Right. And then she responded nicely by like paying his medical bills or whatever. That's such a, that's such a pretentious thing to do. Such a smug liberal thing to do. Oh, God.

She really is a cunt. She paid for the guy's spine surgery or something. It's just, oh, what, she owns him now? She thinks she owns him? I don't think so. Oh, you can buy my silence with a spinal surgery? Move along, Lip-Tard. I mean, I think he was probably just genuinely grateful, but...

I would, I would, you know, I would let her do it. I would let her, like, give my... We'd call her a gun again? No, I would jump off a building. A relatively small, like, short building. Just like a break my spine again. Just a spider. Fucking bite me.

We get the fuck out of here. I prefer to be miserable and think of you as a cunt. I'd be happy wasting her money though It's probably expensive It is very generous I'm sure it is And that's why I would just I would use that generous gift

And then just Paralyze myself Again So anyway She like she tweeted out Something being like Oh this guy was just feeling like Low

I you know she flexed it Like I paid for his spinal surgery or whatever Wait wait did we verify that Hey I I also just paid someone's spinal surgery but i'm not flexing about it but i guess i am now but flex i yeah paid a i paid uh i paid someone's spinal surgery oh wow good for you so we're not providing receipts here yeah that's what i did it was a couple it was a couple twin orphans both are spines

i mean i also you know i did kind of hit them be their car of my car the mom was very you know She might have been drinking. I was definitely drinking. But, you know, she's a mother, so it's worse. Yeah, seriously, we're doing the road. Yeah. So anyway, I get screen capped that. And just being goofy or cynical or whatever, I was like, like,

if you pay for my medical bills, I'll call you a gun or whatever. Like, something to that. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. And then I, like, immediately got, like, suspended. What? Wait for that? He got $60,000 in surgery or whatever,

and I got a lousy suspension. So I understand how Jordan Peterson feels. Yeah, honestly, what are we doing on the left? Yeah. I mean, I'm a moderate. You know, sometimes I like the flag. I like kneeling to the flag, right? We start kneeling to the flag, praying to it, wherever they do.

Just crying at the, at the, feet of the American flag. Pissing yourself in adulation of the American flag. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with a man being so moved by the sight of the stars and stripes that he just goddamn pisses himself and starts crying and saluting it, even though he's not supposed to, I don't think you're supposed to salute as a civilian. Regulations be damned.

Yeah. We should make our own version of the flag that's even more based. where it's like, it's the stripes, but then it's just two stars, and underneath each is a penis and a vagina. And it's written on it is you can only be one. Wow, yeah. And it's just, does a vagina have teeth?

I feel like the vagina should have teeth. Yeah, sure. Because it's just, you know, just, like, it's just edgy. Yeah, I feel like that's a little, like, feminist for the right-wing audience. Yeah. This vagina's going to eat you. yeah what else can we put in there like just no no no no no no no no paralyzed kids

yeah no they take care of paralyzed kids i don't want to make it seem like the right wing doesn't take care of paralyzed children that's us that's that i think that is the left i think the left if it wasn't for the government we would just let we need to come together right so you can agree that the right shouldn't be preventing women have a famine abortions right and and the left should not just be walking past crippled children and spitting at them and like and tell them and going this is why we need abortion and just pointing to the paralyzed kid if you're hungry go to the government and like just some white woman some rich white woman going why don't you ask the government for help it's what they're there for and just spitting and just like and like fumbling

with a with a with a blackberry just fucking doesn't have work it just have some old black for some reason and she drops it next to the kid and then she and then she's like and she acts as the kid's going to like attack her just the kids just can't even move he's so hungry just a woman with her own Down syndrome trial pointing at it going this is why I'm pro choice because I got I got this dud I wish if I knew I was going to have this burden of a sack of selves I would have taken a I would have taken a that gun from that cattle gun from no country for old men and put it in my cut what's the most this is the most i ever lost in the coin toss um what we talking about anyway anyway so the

come together is a point yeah i see jordan peterson's point of view being says and honestly they do make the suspension thing kind of as degrading as possible because instead of just deleting the tweet they make you press delete like oh yeah make you delete it I think that I wonder if that's the legal thing or if it is just a shame thing or it's like you

it's like when you give the gun to the guy and go no you shoot your wife I'm not I'm not shooting you was it like Twitter's acting like that movie we watched the movie you watched funny games yeah it's just like you know it's funny give me the eggs give me the eggs Twitter's like give me the eggs

and just take the eggs I need you give him me yeah uh Anyway, so he's suspended, okay. Yeah. But the suspension will not be lifted unless I delete the hateful. Well, look, yeah, okay, so he's acting like this is like, it's just a thing, delete the tweet. And it's a formality, it's just like, it's just like, it just gets removed, right?

Like, they didn't keep my ISIS picture on Instagram and go, well, it'll stay here. Is that, it's not, no one can see it on Twitter. He's like standing on the principle of like, well, they're going to make me. They're going to make me do, like, do the Sophie's choice? It's a stupid Twitter. What was the tweet? Did he tell people? Are we going to get to that?

Yeah. I'd rather die than do that. He would rather die. All right. He's principled, I guess. I'd rather, I'd rather end up in a prison in Moscow, a hospital prison in Moscow on some kind of benzodia addiction. I'd rather that happen.

But it is kind of crazy to speak as if that's. what's on the table. Like, it's like, either delete this tweet or Twitter will kill you. Like, there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on on both sides of the aisle. That's real criminal. You know, but we're turning into, we're eroding a lot of the walls of church and state in this country, apparently.

And, uh, there's just violence a lot everywhere. And, uh, we have, you know, maybe it's not global warming per se, but, uh, people are dying in the heat and cows are dying in the heat and just uh jobs inflation but uh this is the life or death choice is uh do i get to dead name elliot page i love how this is like the one thing that like the right and the left agree on now is like this is the only thing worth talking about like if you're trans we can talk about it and if you're fed up with trans we can talk about it's it's i don't know we should be doing this every week yeah because this is like the only thing people talk about i look at news is this and Kevin Durant, which I'm also into.

I'm very curious where he's going to go. Yeah. We get to that later if we have time. Yeah. But, uh, gone. Hopefully it will not come to that, although who the hell knows in these increasingly strange days. Fair enough, dude. What was it that I said that caused to fuss, and that fuss is just beginning? And even more importantly and complexly, what exactly? What exactly? What is a exactly was it that I said that resulted in the ban?

Here's the tweet in question. Remember when Pride was a sin? Oh, it's only said? I forgot about it. That was only said? No, no. There's more. Oh, okay.

I just had a little quip, remember in Pride? It's like, yeah, it's a, we get what you're going for there, but it's, you know, but it's just a clever quip at the end of the day, I mean. Oh, yeah, I've seen, like, a sentiment like that plenty of times. Okay. Remember pride was a sin? Like, all right, boomer. Yeah, we got it.

Word play some. Yeah. We're going, there's more to it. Yeah, there's a little bit more. Okay, I'm surprised I banned them for that. Remember when Pride was a sin? And Ellen Page just had her breasts removed

by a criminal physician. Wait. Remember? Remember when Pride was a sin? Mm-hmm. And Ellen Page just had her breast removed by it doesn't even make sense

remember what you mean like remember when probably I don't think those two overlapped I think by the time LA Pagers getting their you know surgery that they had pride wasn't a sin I guess it was I guess pride's always a sin

what kind of pride is a sin by the way I mean I don't think the I don't think the Bible anticipated like gay pride I think it was more about like you know having a hot wife and being like look my hot wife yeah she fucking gets me hard i don't i have no problem getting hard yeah i have a hot wife you know yeah whatever look at all my land look at my kids like made with my cum i'm a great man that like i don't think they anticipated like this but whatever was was jobe prideful is that why got attacked him i thought jove was like

not prideful i thought no joep was the guy wasn't job the guy who's like all right i'll do whatever you want and he kept going and then this dumb wife turned around even though they told him not to and he god turned into a pillar of salt that was joe and like god send angels to like no god sends angels to trick his job's daughters into fucking him that was a lot i think oh you're right that was a lot so joep was the guy in the whale i don't know jobe was the guy who just got cursed the satan was like i bet you can uh i bet you i bet if you tortured this guy enough he wouldn't worship for you anymore it's crazy because i feel like a lot got it bad enough

like lost in solomon god tricked his daughter's into fogging him uh his wife gets turns of salt it's just all bad but like then all right now we're gonna read a book where god tortures a guy like what are you talking about right what's he doing with him just human sent to pee him

he uh like uh sends plagues on him and he kills all his family no this is this should be the foundation of our government You're right. The book of Job. Get the fuck out of here. No, it's a parable. It's a parable.

You understand. It means something. That's a creedies reveal. I mean, I do remember now, but I totally forgot. I don't know. Anyway. I did once read the story of Job, like, just as literature, like, as part of a class. Like, it was a class called, like, the Bible as literature.

It's not. It's a Bible. It's a bunch of it. it's not literature i mean it's like i'm not trying me to dig about it is you it's just a collection of it's a bible like those things have like there's a certain characteristic where like they're not really written as a thing it's like a bunch of collected things and it's like and they're written by like you know people you don't even know all right but can't you re-collected things with literature i get it just doesn't it's not like it was written with a

purpose this guy thought you could no i mean i guess you could what was what would you learn from the book i mean to step i'm just talking all over your your lovely story of the class Well, I was just going to say that it's like, if you just accept up front that God is like a dick in the story. Yeah. Not even necessarily a villain, just like a self-conscious person kind of. Okay. It's a very cool story. Because basically this guy, God just like tortures him a bunch.

And then when he like complains about it a little bit, he like yells at him with the wind. Look, if you can just accept it, this guy, you're devoting your entire existence to. that you get on your knees and pray to and just indoctrinate your kids based on his words. If you just accept that he's like this petty, awful cunt it's actually really cool. It's actually really great.

If you're just, that everything he's saying means nothing and he's just doing the rules he gives you are just for shits and giggles. If you accept that, then this is, this is, the Bible's great. Fucking love it. But cool. Yeah, that's the epitome of liberal education.

I guess so. It's actually great. You accept, shut up. People's lives are being affected by this. You smug, what do you have? Leather patches on his jacket, this guy? Maybe. Probably did.

Yeah. Sorry. What are going on? There's more? Oh, I mean, there's a lot more. We can't play the whole video. Is there anything worth? I mean, let's watch another happen.

Let's see what happens. a link to a story that he does kind of i think it's later in the video he does kind of hint at a comparison one could draw up between like the the doctor who did elli page's like top surgery and and nazi doctors oh look i mean that's the other thing he's like he's called a criminal doctor uh literally not yeah you could argue if you wanted it should be but it's not like why was it why i don't even know like let's just i said this a little more i forgot how crazy so remember when pride was a sin and ellian ellen he wrote ellen page had her breast removed like a but it just doesn't even like it's just apropos of nothing

it's just i mean how high is he when he writes this is he just naked i was like i'm like doing benzos and it's like oh this is good he thinks he thinks he's jim morrison he's like he's just like he's like he's like he's like what's his name martin sheen the big we can give a pot he gets the doors playing in the background like the end this is the end remember when proud for the sin and the only page has had her breath removed by criminal doctor and they wouldn't not let this right fuck on the aeroplane they're just seeing the baby on the ceiling I it's just I mean look this is all grift on all sides it's not just a single out of him but this is what

Happens when you get into Gryft, right? When you get into the, I mean, we also don't like what Taylor Lorenz, for instance. Yeah, I mean, she doesn't seem like someone I like. And you like AOC, I think it's a lot of grift with AOC. Look, I have my doubts about her. Yeah, I'm just saying. But like, this is when you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Or you get really rich, a little bit of both.

And we're getting none of it. So we need to get in the mix here. Yeah. We need to get, we do something by the sword. Do something by the sword. sword anyway do you want to move on to macy gray so okay so that's the first thing that happened that we could go so now over the weekend i guess right something happened with uh i remember this name from my childhood or whatever like or my young my young adulthood uh but not for many

years or i heard of macy gray um yeah it no it she's a blast from the past for sure that what you do you know all right so basically macy gray comes out do you know what you only take the week because I do remember. Yeah. I basically, I didn't see the whole interview, but Macy Gray comes out on, was she being interviewed or was it like a,

was it in print? Either way, I don't know how we even came up. I think they were mad about the chest feeding thing. Yeah. Now I, here's where I can kind of see people's point a lot more clearly that, you know,

when Roe v. Wade was going on, people were, you know, the day got banned or overturned. People aren't, some people on Twitter, are, like, pleading, please, I'm asking you for the 8,000th time. You got to use inclusive language here. Inclusive language, please, when you're, when you're crying about how your rights have been taken away.

Just, just, look, it's good to vent about this. It's good to cry about your rights being taken away. But instead of saying, as a woman, please say, as a birthing person, as someone, what was the other one? as someone with a uterus I mean it's just it's inclusive language by the way is a problem yeah no it is sometimes

it doesn't I mean look I'm sure you can argue like certain things we're like not using the M word is inclusive no I'm talking about like overly when you like go out of your way to like we were someone and they introduced us to someone and they called me your partner right which like at the other day I mean, I'm not, I didn't kill myself.

Right. I didn't say, oh, we can't do this anymore. Yeah. And leave and go, I go, I go swallow a bunch of glass and chew it. No, I just kind of go, hello. But still, it was, it was a little jarring. Sure. Now, I'm a pretty, I live in, I live in, I don't care about these things.

I don't get hung up on these things. But plenty of people just get really annoyed if you're going to call me a partner, right? Or if you're going to say, This is a birthing person. Yeah. It's the same thing as a Merry Christmas thing. Most people know when they're talking to someone and you're saying Christmas, but, you know, but it's like you can't say Merry Christmas because there's Jews and Muslims.

And it's like, all right, they probably do celebrate Christmas. No. They live in the middle of, you know, some town from the town from Gummo. And like we, you don't know how huge Muslim population in the town from Gummo. Say their happy holidays. And it just drives these people nuts. Now, should it drive people nuts? No, but people are nuts, right?

Yeah. People, as Edward Bernays put it, and I can't quote them, but he basically said people are animals. They're dumb, and we have to herd them with the PR machine and create the public relations propaganda machine. Yeah. So my point is, like, they do more harm than good, I feel. Like, even if you, like, want the same goal.

No one's happy. No, who are you winning over to your side by calling, Instead of saying, we'll just say chest feeders. Say chest or chest whippers. What's the emailing chest? Chest buster. Say chest burster. I mean.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, that's what's always just annoying is what is when people are like, yeah, I know that this instantly will make you look crazy to a lot of people. Right. You might be trying to like actively have constructive arguments with. But they should check their privilege. Well, they won't. yeah anyway no so that's how i react i'm like i get it but then macy gray one a little bit different route i guess but she's he what do you want to just bring up what

she said yeah sure i believe it was something the effect of she's talking about the chest feeding i don't know who was even asking her questions maybe it's pierce morgan oh she's on pierce morgan who's a very who's the modern day um ed merrow and uh who would he date that like And she said she rejected them. And so he, like, went after her. He, like, did a segment on her. Yeah, who, I forget who it was. Yeah, I don't know.

But he's just a very dignified man. He's a classy guy. Yeah. Now, so, I, long story short, she said something, the effect of, well, how do we know who's a woman then? Well, let's start. If you have tits. And then if you have a vagina. Yeah.

Which is like, I mean, all right. but so a lot of these people have tits first of all they get vaginas made right that's part of the that's the model miracle of science it just seems crafts when you brought this up because you actually asked like what what basically what kind of tits or is well i mean sporting and so i actually googled macy gray tits i said to her uh i don't know if this is you know improper but like it was macy gray you know and it's already on tits as she might be i don't know but like i was wondering for someone who's so obsessed with like, you know, do you have tits or not? That sounds like she has really good tits. And she's like, well, like, you know, we're going to make this the criteria. If you got shitty tits, you're not a woman. Yeah. So I don't care how you were born.

I searched it. And what came up were like a couple of like pixelated images of Macy Gray with, you know, her tits vaguely in the picture. And then a lot of pictures of like mature women with big bushes. Well. Glad we got to the. a bomb of that Lucy thank you with that the fucking

is that codex did you find that in the Vatican library Jesus they were actually like they were actually good looking I mean if that's like what 70s porn was like I kind of get it basically is not

from the era of 70s porn though no I mean like the gray hair ladies with the big bushes oh I'm not whatever I mean they made shitty porn back then don't no one don't tell me that 70s porn all right You can argue a lot of things, but not that we don't know how to make porn better now. You can argue about where these girls will travel, whatever.

I mean, like, where it's not good for them, they don't make enough money, or it's just, it's exploitive. But they make good porn, you know? They know what they're doing. Anyway, yeah, so it makes it great. I mean, again, she has a song since the, let me sit around and, uh, let me sit around and all. Let me sit around and I'll tell you, I don't know, my own name anymore, but the babe. Whatever, whatever that song was. What was it called?

I try. I try. That was I try. I'm actually great. She had a song. I mean, she was in a Spider-Man movie, I think. Macy Gray? I think there was a scene in the first Spider-Man movie where they're having a parade and she's singing.

Oh, really? Yeah, or Macy's. So that's very of the era. Yeah. You want to hear some of this? Sure, let's hear some of this. Let me talk to you about a furori that you were involved in last year because I found it very interesting the way the debate played out.

You wrote an op-ed for Market Watch a year ago, actually, and which you said that the American flag no longer represents democracy and freedom. You wanted it changed. Why? Well, I just think that it's like in a general thing, it's just a new day. Time they, you know, reboot the Constitution, the flag, all the old standards. We're getting mad about what she was. I mean, look, I don't want to.

Who cares what she said? What? Look, you expect, I don't know what she. She doesn't sound very coherent, is all I'm going to say. Look, I don't think singers are dumb or anything. Her music was very good, was good. So I assume maybe something happened to her. She does not seem of her own accord or in her best.

self she doesn't seem like her best self yeah I feel it I feel bad now that we were mean is she is she okay yeah I don't know our ancestors live by you know we're right for for the time they lived in but we're in a different time you know so so the flag why don't you bring up like slavery and like go go for the throat like right it's fucking we under this flag we fucking enslaved my people I mean I don't know if she was you know from black people for her Hundreds of years, Jim Crow, race at war. But she's like, ah, it's old.

Now we can do something new. So in the states, you know, to me, what the stakes do best is diversity, it's culture. You know what I mean? Oh, she's not American, I guess. You really don't have much going on. You know, you have, you know, I don't know, Amazon. Like, what do you have if you don't have color in the States? I mean, I agree with that.

What I would say to you is, though, that it's such a divine. issue things like the flag. If you don't think there's a danger, but I'm interesting, well, strep it! Well, Pierce, I got something else for you. If you want divisive. You're wrong from that debate.

You got hammered, obviously, by a lot of people. A lot of Americans were outraged. Others thought you raised an interesting point. In a way, it wasn't that dissimilar to what Colin Kaepernick went through with the protests that he was doing. This is what I'm talking about. This person, if not for this,

trans, non-binary controversy, no one would watch this. Right. No one would care Like it's nonsense This is like having like Tom Snyder From like that show

That used to be like the Craig Before Craig Ferguson Remember The guy with the late late show He was like 70 years old 80 years old He'd come on after Conan And like hey

We're gonna interview Jackson Pollock's nephew Welcome to this Tom Snyder show Like Like all of a sudden That guy just started talking about Like dead daming people And he's like a big star

Yeah This is like what This is a huge grift and like you can't you can not blame people I guess because it's it's hard to get views yeah it's hard to get followers it's hard to get traction we know and look I guess in response to this interview of whatever she ended up saying about transmit like it's like I guess jK rolling ended up buying her entire catalog or whatever like a music catalog does she own her own music catalog I didn't think artists I thought you had to buy from like the record label I'm not sure

She just buy basic grade Music cat like from the record label And like it's a flex That would be so funny By the way I think she makes no money off of it Work bitch You actually like she's like you actually Oh a lot of money from your last tour

You just start seeing I try in like every commercial It's all stuff for like The foundation for like Biological women or some shit What do they call it? Foundation for chromosonal Actors see um the xy foundation um so yeah bring us up what's jk getting herself into now

jk what do you oh jk i mean a mad people there's nothing crazier than like oh i guess she just she just hinted that she'd do it maybe she didn't really do it yet uh what a weirdo i don't know she's she's she's a strange lady I don't know. You brought up before that, like, trans women can get themselves some pretty nice tits. Oh, yeah. I wonder if that's part of it because it does always. I don't get into, like, a whole thing.

But, yeah, no, they have, you can see them online. It's nice. They're nice. I mean, like, I would never, like, you know, walk up to a train. Oh, it's nice. No, I'm just saying. But, like, you know, no one's complaining about the tits. Yeah.

That's not, that's not what's an issue here. I was saying the quality of, and such. Not to be harsh, but it's like, it does always seem to be this kind of like, like, aging second wave feminists who are like, I don't know. It's like there's some element of just like sexual intimidation of like the perfectly engineered body. Like it's like, do you think like J.K. Rowling just saw Blair White one day or. That's exactly what I was like. Yeah. And it was like, oh, I don't know.

I mean, that's. Because like Blair way probably fucks. Of course Blair White Fucked. Yeah, like it's like... What do you mean, of course? What are you mean? Like, what are you talking like most straight guys?

Like, knowing, like, no, like, Blair Wright, I don't know, Blair, I, I don't know, Blair Jay or a member was very attractive. I don't have that much experience of Blenwright. I remember her. But Beloit's got like, it's pretty stacked, isn't they? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's like, yeah, Blair White can pull.

Yeah. No, most these, you know, these guys talk a lot of shit, but like, you know. I don't know. I think I'm just more, like, secure. Like, it's, I'm just, I feel like I'm just secure. I'm secure in my, like, in my, like, working man. There's plenty of, like, is plenty of not trans women who are also stacked. Yeah.

Like, I mean, if you don't get threatened, you can get threatened on either one. Sure. And I'm very, like, I'm very... Did JK think she was, like, hot shit before she's over Blair White? I don't know, maybe. Did she not seeing Kate Upton? Maybe. I mean, I don't know.

Or, I'm just saying, like... Or who else? Who else? Or, uh, Mandy Moore? Mm-hmm. Did JK think she had anything on Mandy Moore? I don't know. I feel like, I don't know, but I feel like this is a thing with some.

women like it's like i feel like i'm very like comfortable with like the the working man's be cap i have i feel like there's like there's plenty of a niche for that sure look no one is complaining about what you have going on i wish you wouldn't encourage the comments i'm just saying yes everyone everyone knows you're an attractive woman i'm very lucky man i'm just saying I feel like there's I see these two Working man's beak What is that?

You know It's not like show stopping But it's like It's like a nice experience You know you're not gonna have You're not gonna have back problems Or you know whatever No

This is awkward I'm just saying I'm trying to draw No look you have exquisite breasts Between different personality types Like I view women as existing in niches I feel like some of these like Some of the women who cry most like I'm the second wave feminist are also the most sexually competitive.

Maybe. It's a theory. No, it's possible. Yeah. So you think JK rolling, uh, I just finished writing like, or Harry Potter and the, and the hills have, I have hallows, the Hallows, the Hallows Eve, whatever the fuck. The hoblet fire. One of those. And, uh, she put it down and she went for a walk.

after finishing her scribe and then she saw some trans woman just fucking and and talking to the barista that she flirts with and she fucking and she just fucking takes it a fight she has a tea plate

oh yeah one of those little tea plates out of her purse and she just bites bites down on the heart because like that's that's the Italian barista that she was attracted to But Blair White or some other Yeah, it's like the barista who inspired Harry Potter

And now he's just flirting with a trans woman She thinks she wrote Harry Potter Because she's getting wet over a barista Maybe Maybe I feel like a lot of books are written Because someone got wet over something They're not like books about kids

I hope I mean Especially books Geez Yeah maybe I mean look it's very possible. We wish JK the best, I guess. I mean, I don't wish her any harm. I don't wish anyone any harm.

I mean, her books are, you know, pretty mediocre, but everyone seems to, everyone's like, oh, I've got to live in the books I had when I was a kid. They were like, me, Maniac McGee is such a better book than Harry Potter. Jerry Spinelli should be J.K. Rowling. Give me Maniac McGee again.

I want to read from Maniac McGee to highlight this point. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? Maniac McGee was not born in the dump. He was born in a house, a pretty ordinary house, right across the river from here in Bridgeport, and he had regular parents, a mother and a father.

But not for long. One day his parents left him with a sitter and took the P&W high-speed trial into the city on the way back home they were on board when the p and w had its famous crash when the motorman was drunk and took the high trestle over the scully kill river at 60 miles an hour and the whole caboodle took a swan dive into the water and just like that maniac was an orphan he was three years old that's the first page of chapter one such a better book i thought chapter one was he was born in a dump that's the intro that's the I don't I never ordered it before the Spinelli doesn't understand words like Introduction or prologue He just calls it before the story

I never understood the point of prologues Introductions This guy's insufferable No this is better Within two paragraphs The kids' parents are dead You realize how long it took it I read the first couple of Harry Potters

It's all you know This and that He lived under a fucking A house Under the stairs in the closet Yeah it's kind of tan when you compare it to a dump yeah because this kid is insinuated that he lived in such a state that people thought it was a dump his parents were killed by a drunk trolleyman on the scully kill

river and you know what this guy doesn't go around dead daming people that's got to be worth something uh you think we should get jerry spinelli on the show is he alive look up jerry Spinelli, please. Oh, I think he is alive. We should get him on the show and just are asking him questions about transition. So, Jerry, what do you think

defines a woman legally? He's 81. Oh, perfect. That would be great. We'd love to talk to you about Maniac McGee. And we get him on here. It was just like...

Please come on. So, uh, what, who's a woman? Who's actually a woman, Jerry? Jerry, Jerry, don't fuck around here. What is a woman? Legally. Jerry's been telling. So, are you married?

Are you married to a birthing hip? What are they called again? A birthing station? What's the proper language? A birthing person. A birth. Are you married to a birthing person, Jerry? Yeah.

Have you ever a lovely birthing person you have there? Jerry, if your daughter came to you and told you that she was interested in ringing the necks of pigeons, would you trans her? Would you trans her? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. I was just using trans as a verb. Oh, wow.

So we're just like, we're like, when this video of services, we're going to be crazy. We're going to look like Mason Mark Mickey Gray. Well, look, it's not just going to be because I use trans as a verb. Should I think. People are on Twitter and be like, this bitch, you know, this B-cup bitch don't even know how I use the word trans. What is she talking about? You got those work class B-cup to this, talking about trans and people.

Hmm. Those people on Twitter. Those people? No, I'm saying, no, that's people on Twitter talking about you. That's my impression of people. It's not, I don't know what you're thinking you're trying to do here. Everyone knows I might, that could be, for me, that can be Jack Kennedy for all you know. I don't do good impressions of anyone.

If it sounded like someone, you know, then it wasn't, wasn't intentional. So, yeah, we're going to, we're going to look at it again, Jerry Spinelli. do you think he you think we can maybe like see him die maybe I don't know imagine if he just if we had Jared Spinelli on the show

when he just died in front of us we're trying to get him to like you know out himself as a trans bigot or anti-trans bigot a turf like you're a turf Jerry and he's got a heart attack and we have it on camera

and we go to trial it becomes a huge like trial for I don't know if it's pro trans rights or anti-trans rights probably or anti-trans rights probably anti that we killed Jerry Spinelli

that we killed Jerry Spinelli through an aggressive leftist interrogation I don't know that anyone in the left would approve of our interrogation I don't think they want that I don't think that is the point

it's the dig up all the authors and like put them and just start asking them who's a who's a woman or not yeah I guess that's not the point the point that's not the point i think we would be seen it's the other side in this equation yeah but i don't think the other side would want us either after that no no one's gonna want us you know it's the matter of who but someone's gonna take have to take us you know it's not a it's not like this is this is uh not pretty for anyone so was there anything else we wanted to talk about we got some other topics

we can get these you know later on a different thing uh something you want to i don't know i don't think so all right well uh thanks so much for tuning in as said before if you uh we have the patreon if you want to sign up for the comp patreon it's uh patreon dot com slash rate com links in the description you get an extra episode every week for five bucks a month uh you get that tim dillon episode from this week it's very very funny so check that out also remember go get your tickets for the august 7th for tim dillon and i you're doing a live podcast at the West Hampton Performing Arts Center, West Hampton Pack. So get tickets for that at Tim, Tim Dillon Comedy.com.

Have a great day. You know, I'm going to be.