Kump - 12 - Kump in a Closet

Episode Date: March 28, 2019

A new day has dawned, as Ray begins recording the podcast from the closet that he shares with Lucie.  He introduces his new character, "Andrew Dice Judas," discusses the Mueller Report, Barbara Streisand, and the lies his father taught him about Agent Orange.

The Conjuring Last Rites On September 5th I come down here in your house Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

The conjuring last rites Only in theater September 5th, where it are. Hello, welcome to Kump. This is a different thing we're doing today. I am in a closet, literally. Lucy is asleep in our bed. we have a decent

I mean it's not it's a walking closet and I'm staring at my underwear and my old shoes there's an old keyboard that Lucy has I've been trying to find time to do my show this show you're listening to here and so I'm literally I'm just closed

I'm not sure if I can get out of this thing I didn't try to open it yet I'm pretty sure well this is a loose screw on the doorknops so it's probably fine but yeah I'm I'm squeam into a closet right now to record this so you're welcome um yeah so first of all we'll just do a first order of business go subscribe to our love is disgusting it's our phenomenal new podcast you've heard lucy steiner now twice on this show our chemistry is amazing the new

episode is fantastic we talk about uh getting me getting pissed on lady cucking lucy uh she's a lady I mean, I don't know if she mentioned that. I think she did. We go into detail on that, how we're going to get that done. There's a whole thing about her weird sexual fantasies. Look, it's, it's disgusting. And really, the name is appropriate. How I fetishize her shit to the non-sexual way.

Just great stuff. So, I mean, look, if you like this, because this is, I don't look, you like this. I enjoy doing it. This is mania. I don't go on Reddit typically. and, like, look for myself. I don't go over there at all, really. I should go over and read it more.

But I don't. I mean, if you guys have tips for me, how to get the most out of that. Because it seems to have passed me by. I mean, I used to go on Internet forums. I don't know. The Reddit thing, I never started a big alert. But once Tim Dillon is going to hell,

once I was just done with that, I did Google it. I did mention we were on Reddit, and I was like, I don't want to see what these people are up to talking about me. my fat fucking faith. But I look at it. And like,

there was someone that posted, like, listening to Kump and like, people assumed it was me. So that was you, you know, kudos. And they're all like,

this is, I can't listen to this. He's manic. He's manic. He can't see it on topic. And I agree. I mean, uh,

you know, I'll support him, but I'm, I liked him when he did solo episodes, but these guys, it sounds like a maniac. Yes.

I, you don't think I feel like a maniac? Uh, ranting them by myself into a mic about Alexandria Cortez and, and, like, equivocating about Captain Marvel, it's hard. I mean, I don't think I'm sane. I don't think I'm a normal person.

When I hear, I think I should be shot in the streets like some, you know, vagrant. I understand, you know, if I saw me, I would hate me. If I listen to me, I would burn me at the stake as I don't even know if it's a way. Did they burn just like vagrant people at the stake where other people burn besides, I feel like there was a missed opportunity. They just burn. This again, I'm going on. on a tangent about people getting burned and you like it i like it i mean i get it if you don't get it but you know all of it's disgusting it's a much more i mean i'm still crazy i'm still fun

but much more like a much more coherent package so if you like this you'll like that i mean just go check it listen to that boat uh i can't see how i can see listening to all over's disgusting and not comp because comp is you know true mania but uh i can't see the other way around so if you if you listen to this every week, or if you catch up once a month while you're, you know, doing some, uh, some fly, some, some, some red-eye trucking. You have truckers listening to me?

I mean, it's better to some truckers. You'll listen to me while they're eating eggs. Truck stuff, they still love those fucking things. You put the penny in and it matches the penny up. I should get, I should advertise my podcast on that. Can you imprint pennies? See, again, mania. So go listen to that one also.

You're going to love it. I mean, Lucy's hilarious. I'm hilarious. we're just discussing the most disgusting thing and it's not even a contrive because we are just filthy and madmatic animals i mean our love is uh i mean that i mean that we came up with that name because we were just for fun one day i don't even know what the hell we were talking about like pissing into each other's fucking eyelids probably who knows i mean it's a fucking blur um they're go check it out uh for real and subscribe and raise it you know the deal and this too subscribe to this please because you know uh we wanted to keep going um and speaking of you know people supporting stuff uh patreon i want to give a shout out i missed a couple people last week and we have a new person so let's give these uh very i mean this is uh i know this is not the biggest perk but uh you know that i found honestly i found this closet i wasn't sure because i was recording sometimes at work in the edit suite but that

was getting weird and that mean lucy go to the gym like every day after work and then we do our podcast after the gym on Thursdays but you know what I'm gonna do like tell Lucy go sit in a little like we don't have a living room we were a shared space with roommates and then like our room I'm gonna tell like get the fuck out of here like you know hey toots get lost

I'm gonna record Kump I mean she could do it but then that's not that's a different podcast now so point is I discovered this closet hopefully when I get out of the closet Lucy will still be asleep and not mad at me I think so I think so

she would knock at the door and be like, what the fuck are you doing, you fed idiot, if I wasn't, if I wasn't waking her up. She's a heavy sleep room. So, I mean, this is like a whole new world for comp. I'm in my own little studio here. I think it works good.

So this can go on forever now, and I will go to work making new tiers of Patreon. And we're going to, like, you know, release all sorts of great content. How do I get to all my people? All my people in here. Let's see.

I got Brit. pound town that's a new person brit pound town brit pound town it's nice brit pout i love is brittney pound town or some guy from britain who loves to go to pound town that's a cool name uh diane cage thank you diane cage very appreciate it uh what my other people i have five people total i shouldn't tell you that this is not the uh i mean i appreciate all of you but i mean i probably should say like hey i i have a hundred fucking people and we're going to fucking privatize this podcast

if you don't fucking pony up so we get on board but no i blew that um well night shift lifestyle there was a david hopstetter who's the fifth one i forget oh you got a nice shift lifestyle oh there's comments you can comment on me

on my patreon um comment Brit Pound We'll get to the real meat in a second I'm sorry, this is some housekeeping Maybe I'll cut this out So if I left you again If it was the same guy

I'll make it up to you For sure That might be the same guy I forgot last time Night shift lifestyle David Hoffsner Diane Cage Britt Pound Town

Yeah I think it was Whatever Well look I'll You know The Meek shall inherit the earth Don't forget that The Beatitudes the Bible Fucking God

You know He likes to talk a lot of shit about how he's going to give you a bunch of shit when you die, but for now, here's some AIDS, and I'm going to make you gay, but then you know, my people are going to fuck you up. That's the whole thing. It's like, everyone hates

to get, you know, religion. Every religion seems to hate gay people. But God did it to you. So he's just a silly guy. He's just fucking, he doesn't give a shit. He likes to put stuff in the Bible. To be, oh, the meek. I picture what he wrote to be. If you don't know to be attitudes are,

if I'm wrong you can tweet at me or Instagram at me at Ray Kump but I'm pretty sure if I remember correctly the Beatitudes is what came out of what they called a sermon on the mount which I don't know if that was the thing with the fishes and loaves

they all blur together I'll just start from the simplest point there's a story in the Bible to me it's just common like as if I told you about Seinfeld or whatever like I went to so many times as a kid but by the only

maybe you guys don't know it Jesus was given a sermon and there was some guy who had brought only one guy brought launch a bunch of people are on this

mountainside listening to Jesus talk and only one fucking scumbag uh because there's no one thought to bring lunch

they probably all thought they're going to be there for like 10 minutes and some idiot brought like three fucking loads of bread and like two fish which seems like a fucking

like a lot it seems like a lot like what you do like some fucking glutton some rich kid some fucking scumbag in the desert just fucking hey i got some fish oh you're poor i got i got a fucking trout oh yeah maybe you can suck my dick yeah i'm the you know you're like sucking dick i got some loaves three loaves two fish one mount you know some guy pulling moves like that oh like one mouth one cock two loads one fish there's all sorts of things you could say i mean that would have been a great um

what they call those guys, a woman's pickup artist. I remember a great pickup artist in the times of Jesus. Hey, I got 30 pieces of silver. I just turn Jesus in. My name is Judas. I want to suck my dick. I mean, oh, I've been so good at this. Hey, you heard about this Jesus guy.

Yeah. The meek shell inherits here. How about your mouth inherits my cock? What is this, Andrew Dice, Judas? What is this shit? Fucking. Hey. you like wine

I bet you wine why fuck you in the ass even though it's biblical we still have wine today whatever but um I like that character I think I might bring that

that might be the first Patreon I might do a podcast as Andrew Dice Judas that could be a perk that you have to pay up for pay up so you can hear Andrew Dice Judas just sexually abuse

people in the times of Christ oh is my favorite thing ever now for the next five minutes uh no but uh the fish the loaves and the fish uh where so this kid has a guy whatever some weird schmuck has the loaves and the fish and everyone's hungry that's the thing like he's given a sermon who how long is he supposed to be out there for they make it seem like everyone's fucking starving and you like how about you stop talking jesus you win bag i mean what what are you saying i mean side note again this is the cump podcast it's a little more crazy and I bounce him bounce around we're going to detour here for a second and talk about

Jesus you know when they because it's a big contention thing for me when they talk about Jesus they act like oh oh well Christianity like oh the Bible says don't weigh with another man like does it like if you lay it on the man you get stoned yeah in the old testament but you're a jew if you're Jewish okay but the Jews don't seem to be the ones going after you get homosexuals that's their part of the Bible I mean you could say it's our part of the but I people always quote in the Old Testament in the fucking Bible. I'm not saying Jesus outright

said, don't follow the Old Testament. And there might be some part where he goes, my dad's laws, the dad's law. But the end of the day, brass tacks, fucking, you know, you dig on the table. They came up to them, the Pharisees or the Sadducees. I've got one of those two, Jewish, the Jewish leader guys.

They're like, he's like giving his fucking, he's talking to people. He's fucking making him feel good. And just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to have a deer, dollar shit and some guy i think he came in to be kind of a dick maybe not but like hey jesus and he's like what what what what you want what you want hey jesus what's your favorite commandment what's the most important commandment which seems like a duchy question anyway it's like what i'm trying to talk to this chick here not the fuck don't get offended but maybe he did i don't know

but the end of the day he's talking to release he can't jesus can't flirt i mean he's supposed to be a man i mean i'm not saying he had sex maybe he didn't maybe didn't but you know he can't he can't can't flirt with a chick, he can't feel a little nice. You know, having her wrapped up in his attention. He's just holding court, and he can't, he can't get anything out of this human life. He's just got to be fucking, you know, sitting there

a bunch of fishermen telling people about a fucking parable. Fuck that. He's talking this chick. And like, this guy's like, what's the most important commandment? And he's like, what? And if you remember the commandments, it was like, love thy mother and father and don't, you know, commit adultery and don't, you know,

fucking, I mean, he even include raping. that it was weird they should have been like don't fuck kids don't rape don't murder is in there don't steal is in there and he's like what's the most important commandment oh who's this motherfucker uh love one another as i have loved you which isn't even a fucking commandment so the point of the story is jesus don't give a shit about the old stuff the old law but we pretend like he does we pretend like oh i'm a christian and this obscure part of the old testament he's fucking you know don't lay over them a man and he's like jesus is like just love each other who give us a shit

I'm trying to talk to this chick over here get lost scram um yeah so that's the whole why was I on this it was the fucking sermon on the mouth so these people are fucking sitting around listening to the guy talk that's my point though that was the most important some guys some some fucking world leaders

religious leaders maybe if you'd ask them it was the most important commandment they would have been all windbag and gone on for hours and hours parsing out the fucking well you know adultery is very serious sin but you know then again the fucking you gotta cover your mother and father or not covet yeah on your mother and father and don't cover it the wife i mean isn't adultery and coveting the same thing carlin covered this i'm not gonna go into this point is it's a famous court george carlin thing go listen to george carlin if you don't know i'm not gonna

fucking teach you george carlin but uh yeah so the fucking yeah the fucking uh it wasn't a windbag is my point He had a lot of parables, but he kept shit tight. So I don't know why these people were so goddamn hungry. What was he doing? Maybe he was giving this whole Beatitudes thing. It was a whole beatitude thing. It was like, fucking, hey, the meek shall inherit the earth. You know, the weak will be the strong.

This, nah, which just seems like fucking a dick move on Jesus and God's part. Like, hey, you know, it's going to be funny? You're learning all these, you're in art, you're learning how to be a person so you're oh you're weak you learned you had to be weak to survive huh as you adapted and you learned you were stronger you're to beat people to get your food oh yeah it's all going to get flipped at the end we're going to flip it fuck you i'm god that's bizarre um but maybe he was doing that even that doesn't seem that long but for whatever reason when he was done talking or halfway through even people were like you know we got to eat

and like i thought these were all kind of like people in the ancient times who like didn't have a ton of food but apparently you had some and uh they were like we gotta get food we're gonna get lost we're gonna scram they don't have concession stands in the middle of Palestine wherever the fuck they were so uh jesus finds this guy with the fish and the loaves like two loaves and three fish or three two fish three loaves a shit but uh he like feeds everyone with it i mean like i mean you know as a kid they make it seem like he's like cloning food like a fucking food cloning person but then people

like maybe he was just you know teaching people to share yeah I don't know uh it's a weird story uh how have we getting a sermon on the mount sermon on the mount where did this start? Does anyone remember I wish I had call or so they can call in and tell me how I got on to this fucking

the beatitudes Jesus I don't remember but uh the loaves and the fishes look at the end of the day Jesus was a if he was alive or ever was a good guy probably but who knows they probably made the guy up um but you know big thing on everyone's minds we're gonna move on the muller the mueller report right oh the muleer report didn't give us the fucking what we wanted we'll would trump i look i i i from the

jump i mean you're all being a little smut you i don't know who the fucking knows what my fans wasn't. They're probably fucking, you know, making voodoo dolls out of like Miley Cyrus's like, you know, pussy hair they brought on eBay. It wasn't even hers. Just some chick to, you know, whatever. Exactly. What does that mean? Who the fuck knows? But, you know, a lot of people being very smug about

it. Oh, you definitely clue. Look, he's definitely a crooked guy. He's definitely, you know, Trump. Like, we're not going to pretend he's not, right? He's a crooked power abusing weirdo with fascistic tendency. let's just say and uh you know um he lost for maybe less for power because you don't

even i really don't believe he wanted to get in now he i think now he's like in it he's in it he's like he's got an ego to him it's a weird you know people are complicated but i originally i think i believe the whole narrative probably he wanted to start trump tv um like people think that he just wanted to get his tv station off the ground there's a good promotion and you know what this country was so fucked that they picked him up and ran with him and yeah I'm not saying them and they belied shit he was who knows I mean this guy is such

a unicorn because uh you know look he's crooked he's a liar he knows he's lying I'm not saying I'm not trying to make some weird equivocation here but like does he know like the whole thing on the conclusion report like

did he know he didn't collude I think he was nervous like nervous his shit over the weekend until he found out like hey it's fine maybe but like I don't know if he knew like because it's like did you break the Logan Act like the law

like you know which says you know the Logan Act was a piece of legislation that says you private citizen can't conduct foreign policy I believe is how it works how it goes so you can't go over as a private

citizen and negotiate on behalf of America with the Shah of Iran or now the Ayatollah and just we you know does it get broken sure you know private citizens work for the CIA and you know who do you think

what do you think fucking you know Halliburton does and what do you think the Carlisle group is or was and you're still around right

the Corllel group yeah I mean that might be considered a little bit of a negotiation you know what I mean anyway but you know

does he know he didn't do that does he know which you know federal statutes he broke or didn't break or what I mean look

there's a lot of president can do more than we thought apparently what is obstruction of justice. You know, apparently, uh, not much. So he didn't know. He didn't know if he was innocent or not. And he didn't know before, like, you know, so he, is there a collusion? I mean, he definitely wanted to make the fucking casino or the Trump, the Trump Moscow Tower thing.

And he was definitely doing a lady and he's supposed to. And, uh, he's paying people off. And he's like, you know, he's talking about, you know, talking about Russia with the whole WikiLeaks thing. I mean, at the end of the day, because they're not fine, sure. I mean, did you ever, I never thought there's going to be a smoking gun, though. I never thought there was going to be this huge, like, oh, look, here, he wrote it down. That's that thing about all this shit. Because some people are saying, like, because the whole obstruction thing is kind of, I don't know if it's actually up in the air.

It doesn't look like it's going to happen. And, like, this is what it is. But, like, you know, some people are upset like, oh, but what about obstruction? And then I've heard some people who are, like, bleeding liberal, bleeding are liberal, people are like, oh, I don't know. And I think it's bullshit, but they're saying, I would have taken them on the collusion, but I don't know if we were given for obstruction. That's how you get these people in general. I mean, like Nixon, in this case, Trump, like, would have been Clinton.

Most of the stuff you get them on. Like, I think what they impeached Clinton for was the lying. I mean, not coming on a dress. I think the original thing was more to rape. I mean, the whole thing over the Winski, it was, you know, older man or power, you know, taking advantage of a woman. kind of thing. I mean, yeah, I think there's accusations

about rape and much more egregious sexual assault and, you know, like Lewinsky, if you just saw the Winski was a big, you know, a banner of it all.

It would seem more consensual and, like, even though it's, you know, it is definitely, uh, just that, it's not, it's not cool,

but like, you know, but I think a lot of the shit was darker than that relationship. And, uh, you know, and also other shit going on that.

And like, they get you on the obstructions. point. They get you. Nixon, they got him on obstruction. I don't know. Like, but like and look, do they juice up the obstruction? Because the original, and the whole smoking gun thing, if you read Russ Baker's

book, family secrets that we had on me and Tim had him on a bunch of times. He talks about how like the Warnegade commission and everything in the tapes. It was a fucking 12 minutes of tapes. What they had was like, I mean, for instance, that smoking

gum, which was like him basically instructing who it was but he's basically saying how about the CIA just tells the FBI to fuck off on this you know about to break in

whatever or the vice versa but the point was if you like and it sounds bad and you listen to the whole tape the whole part they didn't really play you know for people

and he's basically saying look this looks like one of those fucking CIA ops so like why the fuck am I taking the heat like how about they just fucking make the call why am I taking the fucking heat for fucking uh who was a ci guy at that time i forget but uh why am i taking the fucking the jazz for this shit let them fucking take the

let them just make it go away is their shit anyway like that was the context like in that so like it doesn't seem like that was really that much of obstruction i mean maybe tag maybe taggingly you could say it is but seems like yeah cia is doing up and then like you know it blows up in their face how about they just fucking deal with it like they because there's no or I think it was a normal course of action. If the CIA, if the FBI would get involved in some CIA shit, they'd be like, hey, you know, fucking Jake Hoover, why don't you fuck off? And then he'd be like, oh, I got some panties on.

Oh, fucking fuck me. And they'd be like, yeah, maybe. But, like, for now, can you fuck off on this? And he's like, yeah, I got these panties. And they're like, yeah, yeah, that's cool. We like it. Like, you can, you're self-actualized, man. You can do what you want.

This is a very progressive time. I don't know am I being the jerk here I was a kid they always played every time he saw Jake Hoover in a cartoon well maybe just in the critic I love the critic but it'd be like he'd just be wearing women's underwear now I feel like I'm um it's a weird thing because I feel like I'm being

am I being bigoted towards Jake or Hoover by saying you know he's cross-dressing he's probably today he might have been trans if he was more acceptable I don't know but the other day Jake Hoover was a massive piece of shit so it's like but you shouldn't attack him for the pants I guess, just attacking for being a piece of shit. So if I offended anyone there, I guess I apologize.

But he's wearing panties and also being, you know, probably getting MLK killed. So it wasn't a good guy. Yeah, but my point is, but, you know, so Nixon, the guy on obstruction, he was doing way worse shit, though. Like the plumbers, the people who, like, were doing the break in the first place were, like, terrible people who were, like, rigged elections. Like, I mean, they did shit to Muskie's campaign, like, fucked him over, like, released documents and then Ellsberg and shit. It was a whole, I mean, I'm pretty sure. I remember reading in Vegas, Fear and Loathing, not Vegas, and Campaign Trail, free and lowly on the campaign trail, Hunter Thompson's book, about shit they did do in the Muskie and, like, making his wife look crazy.

But then I realized when I got older, like a lot of that was, like, made up by Hunter Thompson's book. and the cool i mean in the way i respect but it's so much of i should cite that but the point is the plumbers were into some shit a lot of shit bad guys you know liddy and fucking he ever hunt and these are probably these guys who also probably helped kill kennedy um so like you know just say like oh we always get on obstruction well yeah because these guys aren't idiots and usually destroy evidence so like that's why if someone burns all the actual evidence you get them on obstruction if you can that's the whole point um So, yeah, I don't know. Should they go after them? If it was there, go after them.

But, like, these people who were going, like, ape shit, it's like, what did you think was going to happen? You thought there's going to, like, I've never seen, have you ever seen an actual political operation, like, where, like, what justice was found? I mean, it was Clinton. I mean, they're parading the cum dress out, and they're making, ah, she's sucking, she's chubbing, the Star Report, Ken Star was the, I think it was technically different. Mueller was a special counsel. He was a special prosecutor. I'm not sure exactly what the difference. I think there's different laws. But, you know, Ken Starr, was it overreach?

I don't know. He's fucking writing about how he's, you know, he's shoving cigars up or twop pussy, whatever you want to call it. I'm trying to be progressive here. Upper slit, upper gash. Whatever you want to call it, there was a cigar.

Clinton was shoving cigars up there. Just fucking her with, you know, cokey booze or whatever, dry cigars. Wet cigars, you know, like maybe shut up your umadour up her ass, having a fun time. Who gives a shit? I mean, Kennedy was fucking had Addison's disease and he's getting fucking, you know, amphetamine injections in his ass, this fucking raging, fucking everything you can see.

But, you know, he stopped the Cuban Missile Crisis, and he fucking loves the Kennedy do. He got, he made the speech about the moon and inspired people, and I did a bunch of other stuff. The point is, like, who gives a shit? I mean, yeah, he shouldn't be like, you know, abusing women. but like I would have fuck Kennedy like there is a line like if you are an attractive president I think there's

I think there's plenty of women who want to fuck you and maybe you shouldn't fuck your secretaries I guess that's the line there should be a function for like a guy like Kennedy who is like you know famous rich leader

like he should be able to get laid invested deal I mean Jackie was a beautiful woman but you know but maybe you shouldn't fuck your secretaries and the people who work for you you know that's I guess where You know, because there's plenty of, I don't think anything wrong with wanting to fuck someone just because they're the president.

And by extension, why would it be wrong if he fuck him because he's the president? But yeah, you shouldn't fuck, you know, your typist and your secretary of state or your attorney general. In this case, which I wonder, I mean, they had a close relationship. I mean, look, I'm not going to judge two brothers. I never fucked my brother. He never fucked me. But, you know, if other brothers have a different thing going on, we also fought a lot more than they might have done. so who knows

I know my brother listens I think he's so you know we never fucked but you know I'm not going to say the Kennedy brothers shouldn't have or didn't

who knows um how the fuck I'm having every five seconds I'm like how do I get on this topic oh

the the the Lewinsky so it's an abuse sure but like I don't know

what you thought it was going to happen um you don't give me some nice thing he's a bad guy he's a bad guy he's not as bad as some people make it out to be I think the worst things are

the things that a lot of other presidents do but to the extreme which is like expanding the executive branch I mean look this democracy thing is only going to last as long as we make it last and we might be past the point where we can affect it as much but you know for a while you know it was kind of I mean there's a famous quote

Franklin well how government we're going to have he's like a republic if you can keep it also i'm a fucking sexual deviant where's the strip club uh whatever there's a franklin quote the whole thing but um hey where can i put this fucking dildo oh here we go a republic if you can keep in your ass oh franklin and you guys franklin i should make oh this is my alarm club this is what we're doing it's the morning it's 8 a m we'll have to wake up lucy soon she's a heavy sleeper hopefully she slipped through all this i'll believe when i open this closet door

she's not just staring at me like standing above me like a creep like what are you doing in there you fucking jerking off and you try and she probably thinks if she's awake she probably thinks I'm jerking off with a fucking tie around my neck which you know it does sound fun

but I'm just in the same way I never want to try heroin because they as a kid they scared me I don't think I want to try jerking off of a tire around my neck even though it does sound fun so yeah I mean Mueller, look,

how could this have happened? I mean, look, Trump's dumb, he's not that dumb. He's been doing at least quasi-criminal shit for decades. He's a shady guy. I mean, he might be a weird yachts, but he's a shady guy who never went to jail. You don't think he's fucking old savvy?

Come on. I mean, people, there's dumb and there's dumb. I mean, he's not a sophisticatedly intelligent person. but he's and he's not even like this savvy he's not a good businessman either in the sense of like he'll tell himself as a great business

but he's a thug he's a savvy thug who yeah he grew a bridge but his dad I mean I don't think his dad was pulling this shit so I think this is a whole other thing he means this is a whole other thing

he learned how to be this weird creep and I'm not ways people go watch a certain kind of intelligence it's an intelligence no but he's not an idiot in the sense of like going to get caught right away I mean he knows how to push

kind of like me I guess because like I'll say things a lot you know the people I shouldn't and but I'm charming after a certain success sometimes people just want you know

throttle my neck and close my face and fuck my ass of a knife but I mean a lot of times you know I'm able to diffuse things and I don't know if Trump's diffusing stuff per se but he's deflecting

and he's uh hey I get the wall this nah now we're gonna abuse power Or this could be the rise of a Nazi regime. I don't know. At the end of the end of the day, what are you going to do about it? Go vote. Go vote from me.

Write me in. I'm 35. I could be the president. So if you, it's not a wasted vote. Don't tell agents and managers that if anyone's listening. You know, let's keep that under our hats. That's for you guys to know. I'm a vibrant 27-year-old flower.

And I could be on Nickelodeon or on, you know, the price is right or some other fucking vehicle for you know just capitalism so let's not let's not go bragging about how old Ray Kump is Ray Kump is a perennial young man who could

play any play anything I can I could play 24 to 47 let's just say that maybe even 17 if you you know use that the aging shit they're using those Marvel movies now oh man you think the guys who work at like whatever the Marvel

student the de-aging like a part of Marvel whatever like you know graphics house that is you think they use that to try to get late all the time there's fucking de-aging their balls like here's my like it's just going on fucking tinder and like setting dick pics which aren't even solicited it but they're like de-aging them so it's like here's my young

balls but some 55 year old creep there's some guy who like runs this is always the case the person who's your manager never knows how to do the job so the guy who's like the manager of those guys doing the de-aging is just 55 year old yachts who like helped make like the Howard the duck graphics back in the day and now he's for some reason he's the boss of the people know what they're doing and he's like comes in hey you're just the aging guys can you fucking make my balls look younger and it's like

and even they're like who wants younger balls he's like i got this broad on the hook i met her on tin that tin tinn dick i mean tinder yes whatever that wordplay didn't really work whatever doesn't matter point is he's fucking yotsing he's got some one of those brown leather jackets and he's fucking yeah he got this fucking uh this fucking broad just non young broad but i don't want to show all my balls they got spots on them they're fucking shaped weird they got one's got a spike and you know one of them it goes inside my ass and they're like can you deage them and they can't say no so they fucking spend a whole afternoon just you know like probably waving a a wall like a 3d printer wand around this guy's balls

he starts jerking off so he can get a heart, so he can get a good idea of how it looks and their weight. It's a very... Look, what it goes on in Disney, you don't even want to know. These people are... They put dicks... Look, these are the same guys who, you know, we're putting dicks in a little mermaid. Now, just using computers. But, I mean,

you think they're not going to fucking, you know, they're not going to make a man's balls look younger. They're going to do it. They're going to fucking monetize that. So... Anyway, I love a young balls, like to have young roles. I mean, we'd love to have them.

I don't know. Again, we lost the thread here. Go vote if you want. Marvel. Barbara Streisand's in some shit. I don't know. I think we talked about a little bit, but I don't understand, first of all, this new wave of Michael Jackson shit. Like, it was all accepted. In my mind, we accepted

decades ago that he fucked kids, right? Like, it was no doubt. It wasn't, like, people making it seem like, you needed to have this document it's insulting almost it's insulting to these kids because i mean we all knew the jesus juice thing where he put like wine in a Pepsi can and give it to the kids that was all out there yeah he got exonerated but he's a rich famous guy of course like that happened john gody got exonerated no one thought john gody was innocent i mean eventually went to jail

but no he they called him the teflon the fucking teflon don no one thought you didn't run the the fucking the gambino crime family everyone knew we ran the gambino crime family are you are you people children are you people fucking children oh he got exonerated though in the fucking court of shut the fuck up a lot of people got billy the kid probably got exonerated i don't know if that's true we're not look it up if you want i don't care point is we all knew we fuck kids how what kind statement isn't saying that like well you have all those new evidence oh great so you have to have to bring

two different people out to recount entire stories 20 years later with details and fucking corroborate and corroborate between them before you believe a victim that's what the state of fucking sexual crime is in this country

where you needed to have this fucking doc from Michael Jackson who we all knew fuck he built a roller coaster and I haven't watched a dog I don't know. People tell me how great it. It's like, you don't need this. You don't, this isn't the OJ trial where like you were a kid and like the docks in the movie in the miniseries that came out like, oh, you forgot how the court my new should have happened. It's like we all knew he was built a roller coaster. He was a creep. He fought

kids in the ass. I mean, I've heard about this marriage shit and what you're going to do get a ring. I mean, yeah, it's creepy, but like whatever. But like you didn't need the doc. And it's almost, it's gross in a way. It's gross that we had to have this before we accepted that Michael Jackson was, he fought kid. And like, no one was doubting this. Now everyone's pretending.

I don't know what happens to this youth. Anyone's under 25. Your kids, you got to read more about it. You have Wikipedia. I think Google Wikipedia. And I'm not saying Wikipedia is the most reliable thing ever. But it's fine. I mean, you should read more than Wikipedia.

But you have it there. You can go to know a fucking K-hole. And all you do, is looking at Logan Paul and Ariano Grande and Pete Davidson and you fucking make sex dolls out of them with fucking magazine clippings and you tape them to your fucking action figures and you make them fuck once you spend a few minutes fucking looking at history learning about fucking Michael Jackson and we fuck kids with Jesus Jews you don't need a doc I don't need a doc about the fire festival who gives a shit much of people got scams what do I care point is

Barbara Streisand the maniac The sheer, this is the greatest insanity I've ever seen in my life, comes out. I don't even know why. Like, for a minute, you're like, oh, we're friends, right? And you remember, no, that was the Liza Manelli in him. Like Barbara Struckson, yeah, they met a few times in passing, apparently. They weren't friends. And he comes out going like, hey, you know, these kids, they knew what was up.

They were coming, they were having the time of their lives. now they're married with kids and it didn't kill them it didn't kill them like what was this was she doing an open mic what was that imagine was Barbara Streis saying like

going to the fucking creek and doing a fucking mic you know these kids fucking uh his sexual needs or sexual needs you know what's he going to do like that's what she said his sexual needs were sexual

I mean I've never seen someone for no reason go so hard to defend a pedophile it's amazing let's look at this what's Barbara Streisand say

Barbara Barber Barber Streisand this is not the first thing it comes up but I'm losing my mind she did apologize

apparently Barbara Streisand apologized because this happened like days ago let's not turn away just yet last week

She believes She watched the doc She totally believed them His sexual needs were her sexual needs Coming from whatever childhood he has Whatever DNA she has What's true of any pedophile And you can say molested

But those children as you heard them say They were thrilled to be there They both married and they both have children So they didn't kill them And I guess the parents Who would allow their children to sleep Yeah she's like blaming the parents. Look, I don't know why

I striped. I never saw a funny girl. Never saw it. I hear it's good. She was in the meet the fuckers. She was fine. I don't know. I mean, she's some kind of icon. I think she's kind of mediocre. I'm sure she can sing. Yentel. Is that her? Is she the

Yentel? It's amazing how, because this is just like a famous person being offended of some other famous person who wasn't even their friend is being accused of shit. It's like, hey, why don't you back off? Why don't you, you fucking peasants?

This man wanted to fuck kids. They liked it. That's what she's saying. He wants to fucking build a roller coaster and fuck a child on the ass. Who are you to judge him? Cast a first stone. I don't. It's mania.

It's real. I don't know. Was funny girl that good? Was funny girl worth? Like, what do you have to do to make that okay? Like, if she'd made, if Kubrick, that's a thing. It's never the people who, like, did enough culturally that, like, well, I guess Woody Allen did a lot. I mean, I liked a bunch of his films, crimes and misdemeanor.

I mean, I know, Annie Hall was a little overrated, but crimes and misdemeanors was, you know, very good movie. There's a bunch of other ones. And then the sisters was good. So I guess that's a more clear example. I don't know. But, like, is it? I guess the people who would do the best stuff generally, though. Like, I was going to say, like, if Obama came out and defend the pedophile,

what would he do, I don't know? I'm sure I'm going to half my always be like, where the Obama do, what Obama do, drone strikes? Yes, I mean, he did seem, I don't know, who's good then? Is anyone good? Probably not. It's all just pedophiles, the people who defend them, and then me and then a bunch of people watching Ariana Grande,

and they're the ones that are doing the right thing. Just watch, watch Ariana Grande. She's funny. She's great, right? I never listen to her music, but she seems charming. Or who's some other people? I don't know. Who's contemporary? Enjoy yourself. You know, we're going to go to the theater. I don't fucking know. Why am I equivocating by some pedophile scandal? There's one more thing we're going to talk about. We'll wrap this up soon, I guess. It's not going to be an hour and a half episode. It's going to be a normal episode. It's not an hour and a half. There's one guy on Instagram. What's his name? Nate Fortman or something? nice guy i don't think you want to complain this he complains about the episode's not being long enough i mean maybe it's all in good fun i don't know it's the internet how can i tell

and uh i don't think he's even a patreon guy so you're gonna be a patreon guy if you won't complain about episode linked i mean last week was short i get it but you can do that but i'm saying in general if you want 90 minutes you you you make that comment on patreon you know because i got people good people donate money without even tears yet and we'll get to that one make some tears. But I just found this closet. This closet seems to work. Because the thing is, I get up before Lucy all the time.

I can be in the closet. It seems to work. She doesn't seem to be awake. So I think I've nailed it. I can record in the morning in this weird closet next to like dresses and my winter coat and the keyboard. Monsanto

ordered to pay $80 million to a man for causing cancer with Roundup. because they didn't have it on the label I mean fuck I'm on Santa give it the guy the money sure I mean what kind of label do you want everything's gonna give you cancer though can we not pretend like everything's not gonna give you fucking cancer like what do you really want that all day every day just it's like you want your toilet paper to say hey you're cancer fucking you know you olive oil hey you're gonna get cancer like how much cancer do you want in your life I think I mean cigarettes sure annual suppositories sure but I mean round up like you so what do you want weeds what do you want

these guys gotta wear a mask like one of those Asian guys at the airport why do those Asian guys wear because they have swan I don't know they seem it's smart though I just can't I'm like to carry a mask around with me but the look

fuck my Santo but like you know this guy knew I mean you could smell you could smell the chemical you thought it was a good chemical I mean I don't know my dad once told me

because I was talking about Agent Orange as a kid with him. And my dad once told me that, like, oh, these guys pretending, claiming they got cancer from that. But, you know, I remember the pilots who were on TV drinking this shit. Apparently the pilots, I have to verify this. I mean, it's something he says.

But, you know, the pilots were, like, doing some promotional stunt drinking the Agent Orange and they were fine. Well, like, you know, it causes cancer. As no one said it was like an, you know, immediate poison. But, hold on the second. I got to open this door. Stress my fucking knee.

There we go. My knee was falling asleep. Because, yeah, I'm in the closet. I'm cramped into a closet right now. So, I mean, I just, like, move my knee. I couldn't do it open the door as well it is. But they were drinking the Agent Orange. And it's just like, yeah, so they were fine.

I mean, yeah, I think they got cancer, like, you know, 10 years later. I mean, not everything gives you cancer right away. But, like, what do you think? Some camera. It's a weird. chemical. What do you think's going to happen? It's just something. It kills things. It kills weeds. They've had this shit for years. I mean, maybe now we're getting to the point

where they can make stuff that isolates genes and just turns genes on and off and turns DNA on and off. But no, this shit was just like, it kills stuff. Okay, well, is it safe? Sure, you're not a plant. But, I mean, it's, you know, like, like, like, lie burns like through stuff right and it burns you right or like fucking things that kill other things like no one no one eats soap

no one eats anti like purell you're supposed to eat fucking this isn't hell fucking uh what else kills things uh bleach you don't just drink bleach like what do you think this was some magic thing that only kills plants it doesn't know it's just burning through

biological shit like at a certain point like your skin's not that much different from a plant i mean someone will probably come in and say it is some biologists my point is like yeah you're a living thing with all these blood and tubes and shit inside you that plants don't have a heart and a brain yes yes yes and a tongue plants don't have tongues i wish they had tongues wink wink but you know they don't a plant can't lick my asshole is my point that'd be nice imagine if all you do you get your asshole lick was buy some celery that'd be fantastic just getting your fucking rim job from a piece of salary why am i not running shit but you know we did that's not how

shit work but the point is like all the little elements of your body they're not that different from play they're selling the material so and the course is going to kill some of it so i don't know i think look we're going a lot of us are going to get cancer you probably know you probably know i know i know plenty of people who had cancer many died from it it's sad what do what i'm i can't should i cure it i'd like to cure it if you i'm not going to say if you donate my Patreon, I can't make that claim. I shouldn't make that claim. I have no intention of really doing anything about cancer with that money. So let's not kid ourselves. But, you know, even if I knew how, it'd be hard. So I don't want me to do. But the point is,

Monsanto, fuck them. I think it's good. It's only to get better from here. I think this is actually a good environment. I can be up in the morning with my, you know, just surrounded by weird stuff in closet that's fun uh thank us again to all my patreon people the david hopstetter uh diane cage uh what else we got here we got the fucking the new person brit brit brit dog pack sh i don't know we got you in the beginning you know brit brit pound town die an k is there's a lead pledge i don't know how to read this shit why can't just read all my patrons current patrons we all whatever welcome to your new page I got to like make a fucking thing

I'm sorry if I didn't say your name today but uh new things listen to our love is disgusting it's a great show it's a phenomenal fun listen to both you don't love all this is the age of Kump you can hear lots of different podcasts of Kump

you know there'll be the whatever weird offshoot of this for the Patreon there'll be, you know, maybe some other thing. Whatever, I don't know. It's just content. Just tons of content. You're going to love it.

This is what life is now. Life is listening to the content or making content. So enjoy it. Also, I haven't gotten any at Ray Kump, Instagram, Twitter. Message me. Message me. I think Kump podcast at gmail.com also works. But, you know, I'm going to be doing this fucking,

what do you call it ASMR video it's not it's just real I'm planning it it's a bit like I need things to touch like tell me what you want me to touch marbles you want me touch batter you know take part this is what people

I'm told that people want to be interactive not me I like viewing art or whatever this is and enjoying it but a lot of people this is the age of people you got they want to know you interact so tell me what you want me to grab in this ASMR video don't say tit

don't say ass you know objects that's ASMR you know if you don't know what it is mail a little more detail uh I know the time look it up you can look it up I'm gonna be doing it's fun whatever I if you don't want to take part don't take part but I'm sick of hearing you gotta be more interactive and then no one fucking sends me stuff to do or say whatever so you guys are great I love you all listen to I love it's disgusting listen to comp every week

subscribe great review you know the drill you're my favorite people have a great week Thank you.