Kump - 120 - Ray's Wild Wings

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss Ray's business plans and UFO's. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. I like a shirt. Thank you. I feel like the Batman series lives through these shirts. Well, that was a,

What were the Batman series lives? What are you talking about? Yeah, like our figures. It lives a second life through these shirts. What shirts? Last week wasn't a Batman shirt. Oh, what was? A Spider-Man.

Famously not Batman. We don't have time to dwell on that, though. I have a big announcement coming up. I think it's big. But before we get to that, little housekeeping, we're going to do this up top. We're going to change it up. First of all, please like and subscribe if you're so inclined.

It would help to show. show right right yeah it would help they say it helps i don't know i can't verify that but they say it helps our patreon the link for the patreon in the description if you like this show you got an extra episode every week for five bucks a month that's pretty nice also my twitch stream is uh it's up and going now i got the camera and the mic it's all set up i did some so go twitch uh at rate cump you know just like my twitter and stuff and we're going to start that's a whole new should i be advertising now on youtube or they competitors doesn't matter so that's all sorts of things now here's my announcement i do not want to be a guy who's speaking out of school

who's making dandy lines out of lady ladybugs right or the expression yeah i think it can be an expression uh i don't want to make a big fuss where there's no fuss to be but i've been thinking lucy i had an idea been thinking and I think this is a good this is something good for our future for our for our family's future I've been thinking about buying Buffalo Wild Wings Buffalo Wild Wings yeah the the chicken chain just by chicken chain chicken chain chicken chain there we go um yeah I look I think that um I don't know how I'm going to get the money Well, absolutely, do it like a go fund me. I think that's not important.

Owning a fast food chain, it would be a great investment. But why Buffalo Wildling? I think it's got everything. It sums me up very well. I think it's got a lot of dynamic people in the commercials. I mean, I believe I saw, what's his name? Clay Shaw, not Clay Shaw. That's from JFK.

Who's on the Golden State Warriors? The basketball guy. Clay Eakins. whatever Clay Thompson Yeah He was in the commercial I could be in the commercial I could be sitting there

Holding court with my friends And I feel like it wouldn't look at a place I feel like it's a kind of place I could take people for podcast meetings We could do live podcasts at the Buffalo If we own the Buffalo Wild Wings It comes out to a Buffalo Wild Wings It would probably let us do a live podcast

At a Buffalo Wild Wings without us owning it I don't want them to ask All right I'll ask for forgiveness but never permission that sounds terrible in this day and age actually

you know that's usually like you trespass on someone's pool but now in the age of me too that sounds terrible I ask for forgiveness

but never permission so whatever but only in the context of using Buffalo Wildlings I'll never ask for permission I don't want I want to be a kind of thing

well like come down to my club come down to my chicken shop where we passed the time talking about, you know, girls and monster trucks and just fun stuff. Model trains, uh, pepper, different types of pepperoni, you know, men, but also women, if they, if they're cool, women can also talk about pepperoni. Just don't fucking try to bring up Etsy. What's the criteria?

You know, don't be sitting there going like, you know how I like this. So nobody cares. They can't pick up, bring up girly things. This is a Buffalo Wild Wings. You talk about monster trucks. You talk about... I mean, I don't even like monster trucks. I went there as a kid to a monster truck thing, and I hate golf.

I also did golf as a kid. I went to a monster truck thing as a kid, and then I blew my eardrums out almost. So loud. So loud. I think it's a national coliseum. So I don't, I'm just talking. I'm just saying something fun, something like where, like, you know, we bring a Lex Friedman type guy to the show.

show sure and he's like you know and we're talking we get him a few beers like wait well we got all sorts of beers on tap and he brings up he probably brings up something that we don't have it's like we don't have that well how about how about a stellar choa and we get a nice beer and we get some we get a mixture of wings honey but they have honey barbecue sure they do have terriaki sweet terriacchi probably yeah and we just find and we talked Fridman about like all sorts of robot stuff you know I mean I just want a place where I can like you know let my hair down uh let my bald head out what now Buffalo Wild Wings how much of the cost uh I thought I thought is what you were bringing up no I was gonna I was gonna ask you because

that Buffalo Wild Wings has been making some decisions have they I have no idea business decisions I'd like to know if you would allow this to happen under your watch or if you would have a idea. Okay, to be fair, I literally don't know anything about this. It literally just occurred to me, like, why don't I, I would love to own Buffalo Wild Wings. So I don't know, but go ahead. Um, so Buffalo Wild Wings launched its first ever pizza.

We're done. No. And it has wings on top of it. What has wings on top of the pizza? Yeah. Like boneless wings? I would assume they're boneless, but if they have bones in them, that's really, that's really a bad. I mean, I've had good buffalo chicken pizza.

So maybe, you know, maybe this is good. honestly this can be great and then you know we can even have like strippers there right um sure yeah like it seems like you just want to have a party at buffalo wild wings more than own it uh how much what that cost though i feel like it's not cost effective to like pay them to have a party i want i wanted to be my place kind of like uh what was like that like that rios in the in the Manhattan, the Italian restaurant. Yeah. It's a big to do or Spago back in the day.

Yeah. I want to just have, I mean, I don't have to own all of them. I want to own one. Yeah. Okay, you just want to own one location. I guess he just own a bar. What if you just became like the manager at one local? The manager of a Buffalo Wild Wings.

I hate that idea. I'm not there to clean the gunk out of the fucking thing that goes to the nach of cheese or whatever. I'm there. fucking enjoy beers and and and bottomless sodas and bottomless women perhaps and men you know live sex shows adults only you know you can't it's not a family joint anymore well uh it seems like buffalo wild wings is valued at about two billion dollars so i don't i mean look i don't need to own all of them i don't i don't want like i know you're thinking just buy a bar and have wings but that just seems there's something very pleasing about going to a buffalo wild wings the food's

not better the soda's not bad but there's just the unlimited soda like i like the comfort of like those you just have more soda whatever and no one's like giving you shit they were the bar it'll be a nice big glass of soda and they'll just give you more i don't think that buffalo wild wings invented unlimited soda i think no but i mean they have the wings i mean pizza hot oh i don't know pizza had that Fridays do they have that? I don't even know they I'm not sure if brother of the wildlings has that but mine would

all right and there'd be a guy of a sword and we set it on fire and he would just be doing sword tricks and you have a gun and he would just be pointing it he would just someone's pointed like you'll be eating there with your chick or whatever

you know and like you don't you're valentine's day and you're eating wings and you're getting messy and you look up you like you say to me can i get some more napkins yeah can i get some more napkins sir no i'm your i'm your fiance oh can i get some more napkins fiancee well no like you wouldn't say that to me you would be like you know uh just say like oh we can use more napkins here yeah we can use some more napkins huh i mean do you want me to direct you because this is like i mean it's not how you would talk to me uh whatever i'm You want to get some more napkins?

I still kind of put it's not how you talk, but whatever. All right. Let's just move on. Yeah, I'll get some more than that. Whatever, sure. Wait, oh, just, shh. This guy's pointing a gun at me. Don't move.

Okay. Why is he pointing? The sword guy. What's a gun? Like a handgun. do what do you do i do maybe run i throw you in front um yeah so how much do you think you do wouldn't that be exciting i guess so i don't think we really sold how exciting that would be maybe not um we'll try it again you would want try it again but i just want to understand we try to

can we try to get can i direct you please because this not the commercial will go like this Okay. I really feel like it didn't land properly. Okay. When I just act like you, don't be calm. An act like I'm about to be shot in the face. Okay.

We'll skip the napkin part. Yeah, I'll get you more napkins, all right? Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. This guy's point a gun at me. What? The sword guy's got a not. He's got a gun.

He's got a gun. Oh, my God. Why? Let me live. Please let me live. You're not reacting. All right. Well, this is... Are we filming a commercial? I mean, in my head. So is the idea that this would happen when they come to your Buffalo Wild Wings location?

I mean, look, it doesn't sound great. I'm not trying to put you down, but doesn't sound great because you're supposed to be freaking out. You're supposed to be like an anything. And then he can come over and be like, oh, no, there's no gun. It's empty. It's a real gun, but it's empty. Right? But you're not reacting in a way where that's going to be fun.

Because it's just like, you're like, really? And then he comes like, like, like, it's just a really. Really? Oh, no, it's an empty gun, actually. See, it's not fun. You have to be panting and spitting and the chickens falling out of your mouth. I'm sorry. All right.

No, it's fine. I didn't communicate it properly. But that's what was my vision, with that he would come over and be like, oh, no, it's a gun, but it's empty. I'm trying to understand what this would reflect about your Buffalo Wild Wings experience that you'd be creating for customers. It's dangerous, but exciting, but safe. In the commercial, in the commercial, he'd be like, ah, it's a fake gun.

But, like, the implications that you've gone to a Buffalo Wild Wings and, like, a guy's point the gun, I mean, like, which, you know, to be fair, I don't think they do that now. they don't that's why i have to buy them because they don't they won't do that like i'm not just i'm not slandering them they clearly don't do that now right i would have to buy them yeah sure you know yeah i don't think you're getting you're getting it i mean look would the waiters have guns is no just the guy with the sword just the guy with the sword the guy look i don't explain this properly they're the guy when you walk in and he's doing sword tricks

He's got a sword, and it's on fire, right? Uh-huh. They put that get, like that gel, that flaming gel, and it's on fire. Okay. It's, like, wow, that's a spectacle, right? I should have stressed how much of a spectacle it was. But halfway through the meal, I've realized, as I'm trying to get you napkins, that this guy was a sword actually has a gun now, and he's pointing it at me.

Okay, here's where I think it goes a little bit off the, a little bit off the real. I think the guy should just have a, he should have a sword or a gun. because either one of those things is going to be intimidating. But I feel like if he has a gun on a handgun in particular end of flaming sword, it's kind of like a hat on a hat. Well, he's put the flaming sword down at this point. Okay. He's not holding a flaming sword in one hand and a gun on the other.

He's just, it's, oh, the guy, because you see a guy of the flaming sword inside a bubble of the wild wings and you go, well, yeah, I mean, like, this is like, this has to be like, you know, they're a corporation. They wouldn't just approve of this if it wasn't safe, right? And, like, you can see a sword can be more ceremonial, it can be more of a spectacle. Like, didn't Biden last month in Saudi Arabia have, like, you know, people throwing swords at them, but it was, like, ceremony? Yeah, but without any blade on the hilt. Whatever.

Point, swords can be fun. Right. But then, you know, but then you look up and now this man has a gun, and it's not even, like, a ceremonial gun. I see what you're saying. It's a regular gun, and he's pointing at your face. And he didn't even know until you looked up, but how long were they doing this for? So it's kind of like if one of the stilt girls at Margaritaville had a gun. Is that happen?

They have stilt girls? There's at some Margaritaville locations. They have women on big stilts. Were they wearing? You know, they're kind of dressed like clownishly. Like, like, you know, like, it's not pervy. I don't think they're like, it's pervy. It's Jimmy Buffett.

That's who we're talking about? Yeah. Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. I bet his corpse is going to smell when he does. So it's like there are a, you know, look at the circus performance. former sure but then they have a gun yeah yeah yeah sure and like yeah so that's exactly yeah basically but I mean I feel like the sword to the gun makes more sense than the stilt of the gun because still to the gun just seems like um this is a one-off like someone's gone postal or whatever

you know but the sword with the gun I'm like oh I misjudged the situation there was a man with a but he's he's actually this is a much higher stakes game we're playing and I anticipated right right that's the point that's the idea yeah is that like it's not so much like oh this person got paid minimum wage and had to learn to do stilts and like they didn't even get tips and now they've come for revenge no this is like oh this person has the backing of Ray Kump the owner right and he's got a gun point right at my face didn't even say anything the implications are wild Buffalo Wild Wings

yeah right I could hold court of Buffalo Wild Wings I could bring investors I could bring you know people from different comedy networks like the comedy crew or Comedy Central

the first one's not real I don't know I said that I imagine it's another whatever point is like I can invite Howard Stern he won't show up whatever I'm just saying it could be like Jake

LaMada's club and Raging Bull. Would there be posters that advertise the people you invited to come to Buffalo Wild Wings? Ooh, I like that. And like a little, like, someone's like a little, like a, like a, like a, oak tag kind of thing. And it's like that and it's like, like, almost like a, like a pool or something or like a bedding pool. But it's more just markers going like, invited, check.

Like attended. No. Right. Like, you know, like, just to make us look bad. Yeah. Like, there will be, it'll be like a huge poster with Howard Stern's face on it and Howard Stern's name. Wanted. Right.

And then in like tiny print up top. Yeah. Like invited. Right. It looks like a wanted poster kind of. Yeah. Say, like, it says invited, but it also says for some reason, like, wanted for, like, questioning, involving women. Involving women.

We don't want to make it too comically What detailed, right? Questioning involving women That's fine You start saying weird shit involving handling Very litigious probably

Oh yeah Yeah we can't These these Hollywood types are very litigious All right So we'll just say one It's almost like FBI Federal Booty Inspector right Wanted for question

Involving women Buffalo maybe we'll call it Buffalo wild women Buffalo Wild Women Buffalo Women Wings Big women wings Fusty women wings Okay

I'm just spit balls You know I mean is the idea to make it like another Like another Hooters or Hooters will be another us Because they're not going to have a guy Put a gun at your face usually So I mean no one

People can forget about it Remember when you could go a place like this And they didn't point guns at you this is the kind of thing but that's what it keeps you in line because we're going to have beautiful women not the ones that work for us

they're going to be disgusting but I hope we hopefully we attract beautiful that's how you attract you don't want people competing with like you know hotties sure right so we get like

some real unfortunate women women who rolled the dice and came up snake guys in the lottery of looks right and we get it I mean pay them well

right I'll pay them 200 grand of you year and uh so you'll never be able to get me on anything and i'm totally above board and i'm not tracking them i don't i do nothing with them i'm not the power trips i might like weird uh you know footplay i don't like any of that crap yeah they just work for me and plus you think they're ugly why you said that yeah i'm not pregnant of them right but sometimes people get off on power plays or they'll do foot stuff with ugly people yeah whatever i'm just saying none of that none of that I just but like by my point is and then like the beautiful women will come and bring their husbands

you know the social you think that's what beautiful women want they want ugly women to spit on they want to sit in a booth eating eating wings um eating a big plate of wings and being uh weighted on by an by a woman who's so ugly that they wouldn't even think they were competing with her she's a leper yeah it's like to have um Yeah, I think they want that. No, I'm not talking about like, you know, Christian Landigard or whatever. Like, you know, my BFF from the, what was it, the international? Who is she from?

Is the European Central Bank? Oh, oh, yeah. The old woman I had the hots for. I'm talking about, like, I'm talking about, like, you know, trashy, hot women. Right. I'm not talking about, like, women who run, like, you know, nonprofits who happen to be attractive. I'm talking about real hot, hot, trashy. trans she broads who don't want to compete with like the girls at you know a hot

raised hot wings uh hot wings uh hot wings hot rays hot wings hot girls i just don't think i think that the the the how hot are the waitresses only really only comes into play when like it's like a group of men going out together that's look first of all i don't think the woman and a couple ever goes like wait a minute what are these waitresses look like no look the group of men look the men like I don't want the kind of men who need like a hot waitress to get off. It's gross to me out. Go a strip club or go or go watch pornography in your car and then come back. All right.

We don't, this is not, this is not sexual. But, you know, that's why. I want men who get dragged to my place by the women, right? And I guess eventually because women love to be there, men will come because men are just, you know, they love women. Not always. Sure. Sometimes they're gay. This is a really unique approach to a fast food chain.

Well, fast casual. You know. Fast casual. Well, most even fast casual chains kind of revolve around the notion of like everyone's invited here. You on the other hand have decided to go after a very specific clientele. Everyone's invited. We're not saying horny. Super hot women.

Yeah. And men who are too classy. for hooters uh well i didn't say it too classy for hooters uh i said i just don't want the horn dogs coming and getting lawsuits up my ass and touching the women and being perves and doing who who who whatever that shit is like you know that who who or senio shit or senior hall yeah whatever like we were last week i remember last week i was talking about how my principal would you don't don't be saying doing the arsignio thing yeah i don't know what you think I'm saying.

I'm just saying like whatever the modern day version of just we we used to do that whenever it was some kind of like you know like instead of clapping right right. Right. But you just go woo, woo, who, who? I don't know. Does it sound wrong when I do it? I don't know. The face you're making is like being canceled.

It's your sitting on thing. It's all I'm doing. Uh, what's my point? Um. Oh. Yeah. I just don't. I don't want these, I want men who, yeah, like, fucking just don't, don't, like, slap their dicks onto the table.

That's too much to ask. It's my place. If anyone's going to, you know. No, that's fine. I think, yeah, wanting to avoid. I mean, we're the age of the me-toes, and I'm supposed to have, like, you know, women just being thrown to a bunch of men, like, chum. These are competent women. These ugly women will serve you very well.

Yeah. They do that thing When people do that thing Where it's like I don't have to write it down They don't have to write it down But they do anyway Sure They actually do memorize it but they still write it down

Sure Because people don't like that It makes them uneasy Right yeah The waitress goes When you go Hey I like a steak gage do you But in the steak medium rare

Which get a little char on the outside And maybe put some pepper Peckleaks into the cheese not just on top of the cheese now you're an asshole but that's what you want if you make the kind of weird order sure and then she goes i remember that you don't believe her not she even if she does but it doesn't why our waitresses write it down yeah no that's a good point yeah that would be a great that would be a solid instruction as a manager and they also all the only requirement i have of them is that they've all had their children taken away by child services

that what what do you think the benefit of that is i think a lot of people look poorly on those type of women that's how do i maybe yeah you know depends on what they did right and uh i just want to help them oh okay yeah that's fair and that's very sweet and that way you know you know you know they don't have like kids you're going to be whining to you about like oh i got to give them back to my kids they can't even lie about oh my kids baby so they're no you don't have kids they took them away i have a documentation saying you don't have kids can't they just lie and say they have like a visitation with their kids like a monitored visitation um how we get around that's a good point you have to go part of their hiring agreement is that

you have to go with them to their monitored visitation yeah i'd be like i i i want to visit your child make sure that you know whatever dead beats taking care of them in the foster community yeah because also we can do a lot of charities in the foster community just keep on these kids sure make sure i mean not big eye i'm not trying to spot buying the kids. I mean more like just keep an eye on the foster parents. I don't trust them. Are there good ones out there?

We all you see in media is the pictures of foster families and it's all terrible. Except for Shazam, right? Shazam had a nice foster family. Right? Yeah. I mean, I think that some foster families are shown as good. Like Matilda's foster mother is good. Is that the girl from Mrs. Daffire?

That's the girl from the role doll story. Well, I guess she's not, I guess she just kind of get casually adopted by the teacher i guess it's not really your foster was this like london in the 19th century yeah i mean you know kids were just currency back then terrible uh oliver what was oliver twist all about i never read that crap um so whatever but we're dwelling too much in the waitresses here the point it's a fun place for me to like bring clients to bring potential advertisers

to bring athletes right and we just have and we'll have like a PlayStation 5 hooked up just for our table. Sure. And then we'll also be like, oh, can we get a gaming system? Like, no, he's the owner. That's why he gets that. He's a fucking owner. Who are you?

He's like, I'm Winston Churchill. I'm like, no, he's dead. I mean, Henry Kissinger. Oh. He is. He actually is Henry Kissinger. Right. They're like, fuck off.

What else can you do with him up a little while? I like the idea of had Henry Kessinger lying and saying that he's Winston, that he's, that he's Winston, that he's, churchill first yeah i mean what else could you do with the buffalo wild ones um look a lot of this again a lot of the

things that you're talking about we serve sushi not grace it means like it ain't no boo sushi but it's not bad what is the sushi what does buffalo wildling's just not California rolls and like you know we don't do the mayonnaise the cream cheese that's the one thing you should do at a buffalo

you should do a Philadelphia role at a Buffalo wild getting sick of them they're very hit and miss yeah yeah salmon tuna California roll man dance roll uh lollipopop roll yeah it's candy um whatever just look is not like the main thing it's just there for the women yeah the women don't want to get messy with the wings you don't understand business I don't know what you think this is You think women just are going to come and go

They look at my face I'm so hot You want to be my fiance No women don't act that way How women don't act that way They eat sushi We'll have a salad Right yeah

I was going to say they'll have Carriaki chicken salad No it's raised buffalo salad boy That's what's called Raise buffalo salad boy Right It's got lettuce It's got spinach.

It's got art chokes. It's got cheese. Which kind of cheese? Cheddar, Gouda, apple chips. Colby beef. I was thinking Kobe cheese, but. Oh, okay. Colby beef.

No chicken. No chicken on it. It has pieces of California roll on it. anyway and we say good for the ladies that's all it says which is a little sexist all right you know they can also eat the chicken look i don't care if they get messy if we got a bunch of messy baby hot girls yeah who want like you know that's fine i'm just pretty i'm as anticipating they're not going to want to also going to be something like you know men who sure not as big of a demo

i'm sorry if i sound like jordan peterson right now I don't think as many men have qualms about getting chicken mess on their face as women do. You know, I'm all for the non-binary ethereal experience. Anyone can do anything in my thing. Well, anything, you know, within reason. But it's not, no one, no one's being stopped because of their gender or not a lack of gender. But I'm just like, I am anticipating certain hopes and dreams from the clients. that's fair i just don't think i think based on their gender say you have a woman yeah right who comes

in and wants to and and wants to watch what she eats in front of this this gentleman who's taken around a first date to buffalo wild wings yeah the cump train right um i can totally see that woman uh getting a salad getting a salad called cump's chicken boy all right order the proper way please we'll make them word say oh cumps we're like comes chicken boy is it wasn't that what it was comes comes chicken salad boy comes buffalo chicken salad wing it ended with boy that's all I remember but it's but I could see that comes wild salad boy comes wild salad boy sure okay um and so where you where you see the hiccup uh mainly just the part where there's actual it's one thing to have have a have a california roll in there yeah

um or some kind of role in there sure that could actually be kind of a unique selling point it's the only we don't put it in the selling it's on the description i know it just says it's good for you it's good for the ladies but but i don't think that i don't think a lot of people are going to go for raw fish at buffalo wild ways how long have you been in the game the podcast game the eating sushi game whatever that you still don't know that that california rolls don't have raw fish Yeah, but they have crab in them. It's imitation crab. Oh, it's not real crap?

I don't think so. It's not raw. Whatever it is, it isn't raw. I don't think even, I don't think spicy of tuna rolls are raw. They're like, that's not raw. Raw. Ask them, ask them what's in there. Imitation crab.

Yeah. Yeah, see? Commonly dubbed. You thought you were eating crab for six bucks? I didn't think it was like the premium crab. You'd be getting sick every day. Commonly dubbed. You have crab stick.

Yeah. I think it's poke, right? Well, it says that's slyer Japanese institutions. How do we know if we're eating at a sly Japanese institution? Well, by sly, I mean, like, the trickier ones who screw you? Yeah. That's us. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, look, the chicken's safe, and so it's, but we're not making the premium sushi. I don't know what you think this is. We're trying to make money. We'll be enough money to not lose money. Sure. I'm not trying to, like, you know, lose money. so you can have real crab in your avocado roll

or whatever it's cold. I'm still not seeing how you couldn't accomplish most of what you want to accomplish here just by being a manager at Buffalo Wild Wings. Most of your fantasies seem to revolve around hiring people, hiring these ugly childless women and, you know, talking

down to them. Talking down to them. When did they talk? down to them i'm very i'm very professional with them what you know when you're saying like look i know you can memorize it but can you write it down because it's good you're gonna unsettle people no i train them to do that that's not me talking down i'm not saying that you're gonna abuse these women i'm just imagining a lot of huddles a lot of team huddle it won't be an issue because if they don't do it if they don't do that they'll fire them so like it's not i'm not abusing it

any of my employees because they're gone at that point if they don't write it down they get fired immediately yeah so it's not like and they know that up front i've told them many times i threatened them constantly with that even if they do it properly like you know maybe after a few months i'll stop bridling them about it i'm like don't you don't you get comfortable and stop and stop right now people's orders i'll fire you in a second i'll and then sometimes i'll talk back and be like well you have to do progressive discipline and then i'll lie i'll forge it sure don't push me you know don't push me like you pushed child services for their breaking point right and they had to do what they had to do they all I'm gonna do is fire you by the way I'm not I'm not

threatening other weird things oh thank you I appreciate I'm not creep I'm just a guy who takes my job seriously and my job is owning this fucking place wild wings you know uh so I don't know what I abuse them but you know whatever I'm hard I'm tough but fair. But what you're saying I could be a manager. I'm saying, okay, hiring and firing, determining the night's entertainment.

These things seem like things that fall into the purview of like maybe a slightly more powerful than normal manager. So how are it? So look at the fair, you know, analysis, I guess. The balance is like grew with it.

I don't think that they necessarily have that kind of leeway to do the things I want to do and also like I'd have to work but whatever but in your mind in your vision of my life how will I go about

consolidating power as a manager in Buffalo Wild Wings to become a more powerful manager how do you go about are you imagining that there's a few managers when you start out

or that there's I imagine it's probably when you say a more powerful than normal manager do you mean like the store manager or do you mean like a man I occupy a role that doesn't only exist.

I'm just like a more influential, a manager, one of the rotating managers who exerts undue, like unusual influence for my role. You know, like a store manager who somehow managed to convince like the regional manager that all of these things are, you know. But I'm in charge of the store. You're in charge of the store.

Okay, I'm not going over the store manager's head. Is that how this begins? mind, am I, am I like, is there a store manager and then three like shift managers below him? I go over my manager's head with these ideas and I tell him about the ugly women who don't have kids and they tell them about the writing stuff down and the guy with the gun and the swords and he's like, all right, this is a good. Maybe the regional manager is like, oh, some of these ideas seem a little bit out there, but I like that your, the wheels are turning. Maybe we'll give you the store manager's job. You've worked before, right? Like places that are

you know that's not that no one ever wants that regional managers don't want you to have initiative we talk you know that's true i know uh then you get yelled at by like david rockefeller once uh yes but but you know with a little thing to you look there's gonna need to be a little bit of luck here that factors in sure or i could just buy the place also to be fair to david rockefeller he did think that I was he did think that I was abusing a rabbit which I wasn't right so to be fair he assumed I was like a stupid woman abusing rabbits right like that's what the other one really saying he assumed that I was a woman who was so inept yeah that like you know I I would kill a rabbit like Lenny or whatever from bites of men right yeah yeah is Lenny or is the other one I think it was Lenny

yeah yeah Charlie Charlie the big fat the big one I think that's Lenny squeaky oh george was the other one right yeah yeah so he thought you were lenny and you were going to ring this rabbit's neck now if you don't know what david rockefeller is he's the rockefeller who started the council on foreign relations i think also the trilateral commission perhaps yeah they globalist they took time out of his dying days to scold you well it was a farm look the farm was really abusing the rabbit oh they were i was just i was just a so you were complicit in some abuse i was just left holding the bag how were they abusing the rabbit by keeping it in this little like hut that looked cute but it was it was too small for a big rabbit like that okay and i was my job to take the rabbit out at the end of these little tours i led right and let let the guests pet the rabbit would this stay there all night or they have a better cage i don't know what they did with it after i left oh but but but if anything they were abusing the rabbit if anything they were abusing the rabbit and and and

David Rockefeller was funding the farm. Right, okay. So he's probably the most guilty of abuse of his habit. Yeah, he doesn't want to see how the babies get killed. Yeah, exactly. He just wants to eat the snake. Yeah. He did tip me $10 after yelling at me.

Really? Yeah. $10? Yeah, I mean, it's, you know. He can give you $100? Ten bucks. He might as well just, he might as well, like, hit you with his cane. Yeah.

He said, you're a she, devil. He had bloodshot eyes. Sorry about that. Oh, yeah. He had bloodshed. What the hell? Excuse me. He did.

I want to repeat that because of the technical glitch there. Do you have bloodshot eyes? Yes, he did. Yeah. Yeah. When I was, I remembered his bloodshot eyes. When I told you the story the first time and we were, and we were Googling him, I remembered the bloodshot eyes. And I was wondering if the pictures would show them.

And they do. Interesting. All right. So, I mean, look, we covered all the baby. I mean, I would like, how do we go about doing this? How do we get people to fund this for us? We have, we have famous people who listen to one show I've been told. I got to want to say, I won't name names.

But they're going to be, you're, like, maybe you become investors. You know who you are. And you become silent partners or loud partners. And then you get your own booth. You know, and I don't care. Like, if you invest, I'll just keep it empty unless you're there. Sure. No ass will touch your booth.

Are you going to put velvet ropes around the, Big plaque or not, even if it's not, even if it's not like, yeah, it'll be a nice gold plaque that you don't want your name. It'll just say reserved, not for, not for normal people. And, yeah, so, you know, I'm saying, we're going to whack this up nice. We're going to carve it out. You have a nice spot. We're going to start serving classy meals, ricketone, watermelon scallopini. Whatever, you know, cheese and watermelon, that's the thing, right?

So there's a regular person menu, and then there's the investor menu. Oh, the investors, we're going to lose money on the investors. When you come in, we have a private chef on speed dial, and he'll come and drop everything, hopefully, only he's busy. They're fucked. But, you know, perhaps, whatever, we'll go a fancy restaurant and get food there and bring it. Yeah, right? right sure yeah we're not we're not you know we're not gonna serve famous rich people to slop right don't know why I eat the food I want a nice neighborhood chicken joint where I hold cord

they plan schemes you know we watch basketball games I and I and I bet money and I start violently like spitting everywhere like god damn Kevin Durant's Anyway, it's my dream. We went a long time talking about it, but, you know, whatever. Sure. Is your dream? It's worth talking about. Exactly.

Thank you very much. Thank you for supporting me. You had some kind of story about you, you want to just. You want to talk about the UFO thing? Yes. I'm not sure what this means. Maybe you can help me decode this. Okay.

I find every, you. article about UFO is extremely frustrating. Right, because it's all scams. Because it's all just like, it feels like, you know, it's like it always feels like they're lying to you. Like it's like, even if they're like, if Congress came out and said like, UFOs are real, here's some pictures of aliens.

Right. Here's the planet they're coming from. I would so feel like what they have. Here's your mom fucking alien. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Here's your mom fucking.

That'd be so crazy. That'd be so crazy. But I would still feel like they were like, trying to get one over on me yeah look I mean full disclosure I've never gotten that with the alien shit too much I tend to think and I could be wrong but I tend to think that like you know

most of this stuff is some form of cover material for stuff I was going on it skunk works where area 51 was back then right skunk works with Lockheed Martin's whole like you know experimental wing or whatever facility sure you know stuff like

that when they're building the self-bomber or stuff like that. Yeah, maybe all this propulsion stuff, you know, this is probably technology that, like, is crazy, but, like, didn't really, wasn't scalable, in my opinion. Like, all these things, it doesn't move like anything else. They probably figured out some kind of weird propulsion engine that didn't, like, you know, that didn't work. Like, it wasn't scalable.

You couldn't, you couldn't fit, you know, chicken wings into it. Whatever. Sure. But go on. So, the kind of, you know, Congress basically like, the headline says Congress implies UFOs have non-human origins. It doesn't seem like the UFOs, it doesn't seem like UFOs or the existence, I mean, by implication, the existence of extraterrestrial aliens, right? It doesn't seem like that's something that Congress should be implying about.

Right. Right. Like, how are they say? Yeah. How about my, I'm not going to take an implication about. Right. You know, they imply that. How does they imply it?

Like, do you read the article? No, this Merrick von Rennon-Conf person seems to be taking a lot of leaps. Like, sure. So this is what actually happened. Yeah. Congress implied. I'll read a paragraph by paragraph. But what actually happened was that the Congress has decided,

I thought they had already decided this, that it's like the branch that's like investigating UFOs. If it turns. Space force. Yeah. If they find out that. that the UFO is man-made, right? Then they have to turn it over to the Department of Defense, right?

Interesting. Okay. So if they know, it doesn't matter where it comes from, it doesn't matter if it's from Russia or China or whatever. If they figure out that it's man-made, they've got to send it over to the Department of Defense. I thought that was already a rule. But, like, well, yeah, I mean, it just seems like,

I didn't know there would be a rule. I thought it just show up with guns and take it. And go, well, this isn't proper. I mean, you've seen the movies. You go, this isn't proper. And it's like, well, we got the guns, bitch. Yeah. I'm Captain McHetrick.

But the point is, my point is, though, as opposed to what? Like a big space bug? As opposed to, we're pretty sure this isn't man-made. Like a giant space bug. Like a giant space bug, yeah. Do we have giant space books? Maybe. All right.

It's very coy. It doesn't seem like it should be coy. Yeah, like it doesn't seem like I wouldn't be coy about this. Look, I mean, look, they're doing the same thing they did with the poor Maryland, which we talked about last night in the Patreon, right? Mm-hmm. There were times blurring together. Or Diana. Diana.

We also brought Maryland. Yeah. And America's Princess. America's Princess who was fed pills by the Kennedy brothers and fucked the death. They were also coy about that. You know? As just some girl getting pills shoved in her and then fuck the death. Sure.

Awfully. I'm not happy about that. I just, you know, shame on the Kennedy brothers. all right shame on them in Congress where legislation is drafted debated and enacted

thank you for telling what Congress is what the fuck this is the Hill I don't know much about the Hill the Hill newspaper or website whatever I'm pretty sure readers of the Hill know what Congress is do they think it refers to like

just some dirt Hill we read that again or a sentence again in Congress where legislation is drafted to be interactive who wrote this what who wrote this Merrick von Renencom is he writing this for like some kind of weird

like you know Transylvanian audience yeah the Congress or as you might better know it, the Illumadestque. It's like the American version of the Illumidusk. Jesus. In Congress, where all that stuff happens,

clear and concise definitions are of paramount importance. As military air crews increasingly encountered unidentified flying objects, lawmakers recently made several striking revisions to the definition of UFO. It's probably shit flying other planes. Tards. Key among them, the explosive implication

that some UFOs have non-human origins. I don't think that like a coy implication. Wait, repeat me, like, phase that, where was the implication, wait, starts, read the whole thing again. In Congress. In Congress, the whole thing. Where legislation is drafted.

Got it. Debated. Okay. And inactive. Interesting. Clear and concise definitions are of paramount important. Clear and concise definitions. Yeah, I agree with that.

You want in Congress, where you make laws. Yeah. You want clear definitions. Sure. Okay. As military air crews increasingly encounter unidentified flying objects. Did we establish that earlier on that they are increasingly encountering them? I don't know that we have.

I think that we've established that like some, like the U.S. government has copped to certain things in the past being UFOs. The U.S. government has stopped refuting all of my bogus claims as often as they used to because I send so many a day. Lawmakers

recently made several striking revisions to the definition of UFO. Key among them, the explosive implication that some UFOs have non-human origins. Wait, wait, did they describe that's something you want details about? Right.

What, how do they make the implication? Right. Isn't they say? Well, well, I'll just skip to that part. Okay, okay. Okay, so over the last seven decades, most UFO sightings involved man-made objects, such as misidentified aircraft, balloons, satellites, or drones. Yet now, according to Congress, man-made objects should be considered under the definition of unidentified

aerospace undersea phenomena. Sorry, should not be considered under the definition of UFOs, basically. Moreover, in a congressional directive, objects identified by the new UFO office, quote, as man-made, will be passed to appropriate Department of Defense and Intelligence Community offices for further analysis. People really think that, do you like, they really think that when the aliens do come, if they come, they're going to be so, like, oh, that's the answer. Right. Because everything is such a mess.

Reason does not govern the world anymore, but those aliens who come to us are going to be great. Yeah, I mean, I'm not trying to make the point. It's going to be Independence Day. But they're probably going to, like, you know, be sex traitors. Sure. The first thing they're going to find, like, you forget, like, everyone thinks, oh, the anal probing is like some kind of, it's probing.

They're fucking, if that's real, they're fucking us. Yeah. They're having sex. with us sure if that's real the anal probing is sex yeah right but why are we why are we assuming they're sexless they're slave traders they're sex traders yeah these aliens most likely i bet they're looking for some real estate yeah real estate oil if they use that or you know maybe they found the use for garbage whatever yeah you know cats but my point is they're gonna you know probably have sex so even if it's not the main thing it's like hey so we found a a plant

that has a bunch of that a bunch of those slinkies that we use to power or shit. Oh, good, good, good. So we brought some of them about you want to fuck some? Yeah, let's have sex with them. Sure.

Why not? I'll always, I'll try anything once. That's what the aliens say. But it's like, it's always something like this. It's always like every headline is always like, we know for sure now that something really weird's going on. And then it's like, well, actually they just made a bureaucratic decision. Right.

arrange their their discoveries more efficiently under the appropriate government umbrellas and it's like okay how does this imply that this is not the key look there's like two things that like really stand out the Kennedy assassination in 9-11 where it makes sense vigilant guardian what's that about right I'm not one of these guys who go to jet fuel and the steel

like I don't care like they were just fly planes in and do it whether maybe there's also a bomb whatever but I'm saying like oh how would they do it they were just they don't care yeah they put they'll they'll make a drone pilot do it and then kill the people right right whatever point is there's a lot of fishy shit and then kennedy assassinations a lot of fishy shit yeah and some other thing like you know most of the day i ran it was probably fishy before it got he classified we know it was bogus right alien it's just people in the dirt it's like oh occum's razor tells you that it's just you know

A bunch of guys testing out of the, you know, well, right. Stealth bomber. Sure. Right? But these people think it's going to be E.T. We tried watching the movie, didn't we? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Close encounters. So boring. Real slow. Real slow. I'm not a big Spielberg fan. He can come on the podcast if he wants, but I'm not a fan, really. We're not going to court him. I like in the end Jones, three.

One's good, two, but three is the best. Anyway, go on. We're not going to court him for the, for the, for the, uh, Buffalo Wild Wings VIP section He can get a VAT If he wants to invest He can

Yeah I'm not gonna court him Mostly because I think he'll say no I'm a businessman Spielberg's gonna big bring some money Yeah You look I don't love Spielberg But Scorsese's good friends of him I think So that's my

We can get Scorsese through Spilberg Right So fucking whatever Give him some wings Yeah I'm not that proud I just don't understand Like if they're really as ubiquitous

If these, like, sightings are really, like, as ubiquitous as they say they are. Why aren't we seeing more of them on TikTok? Why are there more of just, like, alien sighting TikTok? Well, we, look, I mean, we've had these cameras for years, right? And then there was that movie that Jordan Peel made, which I didn't think was great, right? It was the thing, you know, Logan Paul got a lot of, you know, flack. Famous film critic, Logan Paul. Well, look, I mean, the guys, the guys done well for himself.

And, you know, and the points weren't terrible. We're doing good points. point some of them might have myself you know what was his points basically um you remember that a lot of it didn't make sense which it doesn't matter that's not why i'm bringing it up the point was like the interesting thing about the movie though was this movie called nope nope what was interesting was like i don't think it's spoiling it to say that like it's an alien thing and they're and they're trying like to get pictures of it which is kind of like okay like you know this is a gimmick because like that would be you would think in this day and age you'd be able to right

Uh, and those sorts of shenanigans that goes on. But the point is like, uh, should be a film critic? Yeah. But the point is, uh, yeah, why don't they have a, like, oh, because infrared blockers, because you can't seem with a cloak and devices. Why would they cloak? The prime direct is the Star Trek and the prime directive?

Right. Oh, they're observing us. I mean, the one thing is maybe they're from a parallel dimension. I guess. Well, I don't really go for that kind of thing. But maybe they fade in and out of our matter stream. Imagine if your genitals were an alien species. Yeah.

Imagine if that, like, we were asexual beings. This is why no one's as good as me. At this. Because, honestly, if this was my gimmick, oh, I might make you my gimmick. We are asexual creatures. we don't procreate naturally but our genitals are sentient semi-scientient phase matter creatures that's phasing in and out I guess they say that way but they come in from a different dimension

that's where the come comes from you know so that's actually a spous so when we come into each other that's actually an alien species procreating its own species. And using us, attaching, they're kind of a symbiotic relationship. Sure. Attaching itself to our asexual bodies. And we're okay with it because it makes us feel pleasure or whatever. And obviously they're getting something out of it.

I guess. Cairs. There are crazier theories. Right. Let's make a t-shirt out of this. Can we get me, I mean, can I make some money off this? Can we use this to fund the Buffalo Wild Wings? Buffalo Wraised Buffalo

Can I just call it Raise Buffalo Wild Wings? The home of the interdimensional genital theory. What do we call this? What's a good hook name for this? Where babies come from in space? Genital attachment. You don't want to say genitals. we need a better euphemism

extraterrestrial attachment theory uh et stork stork et stork et stork I think you gotta have theory at the end of it

okay uh dead baby alien theory baby alien theory baby alien theory the baby alien boys the baby alien boys the baby alien boys

baby alien we'll call it baby alien boy theory Baby alien boy theory Thank you for bearing with us there Baby alien boy theory I think it works Yeah Ray Cumps Buffalo Wild Wings

Home of Buffalo Wait Home of What was it again Baby Alien Boy Theory What home of the original Home Home of the man behind the baby alien

Boy Theory That's sure I mean, it's not as good, but I'm just going with him. Home of You want to keep tagging it with worse things. Go home of the world's leading

baby alien boy theory expert. Sure. I'll have you no, sir. I mean, I'll have live streams that go out from my Buffalo Wild Wings where I debate people.

Like, who is that guy, folk halt? Is he still alive? was he like an existential philosopher Um yeah Foucault yeah Is he dead Yeah

Whatever I mean I'll debate Sam Harris Or whoever these idiots are Yeah You know whatever Lex Fribman can be on it Sure Lex Fribman Is he doing about aliens at all

Well I'm sure he has some opinions on them Have we gotten Yeah And hold of Lux Fribman But we haven't yet But I'm sure Within within Why are no these guests

getting back. Have we emailed anyone? Have I? We need more guests. Yeah, you're right. We need famous people to promote the show with us. Like, be on, you know, and, and invest in our Buffalo Wild Wings. I'll get you Lex Friedman. Who? Lex what? Lex Friedman? Yeah. Yeah. What do you, what do you hope aliens are?

I don't know. I mean, look, I'm not going to. If you could hope, if you have whatever you wanted, if you wake up in his alien oh well they'd be little uh you know they look like a teacup pomeranians they those exist why do you get aliens to be that yeah but imagine an intelligent teacup pomeranian they are dumb and shit aren't they yeah let's teacup pomeran imagine a teacum pomeran who you could have a conversation with that would be the best i guess i mean or just like you know i don't mean like aesthetically what does they look like oh did i say that i meant more like what you want them to do and be and like I don't judge people basically how they look I'm sorry it would be great if they were trying to

you know peacefully unite the universe and stuff I doubt that's the case no I mean are they good at card tricks because they have extra fingers you know or like are they really good at like milking cows with their mouth stuff like that like you know fun things like you know do they know how to build roller coasters that you know sometimes kill you but like if you but sometimes they put you into like a weird interdimensional pocket like a hot pocket you know uh do they do they turn the do they find ways for you to eat your own body but it's like delicious things like that i mean i'm not talking about like you know well they call oh what's the existential threat of the no i mean like do they have six assholes but only one of them for pleasure

and but all all six of them are for shitting so even the pleasure once so he's still shit through it like it seems it's not like and they go look yeah this is this is not intelligent design that's like it just happened that way we don't know why we like fucking yeah but but the other five ones they're all identical except the other five don't feel good when you're fucking i guess that's not universal anyway but some people like you know getting and you know and it wouldn't be the case in the other five for them but one of the there is sure that's the kind of thing i'm talking about well that's great for you to think about but you're just you're just talking about like will they invade us will they you know be be dogs well look

I have my dreams and you have yours I think my dreams are better I dare I say dream bigger please so they came and they were like creepy things that wanted to kill us you would still be fit you would still be like okay but what what what's the asshole situation

right would you want to know that before you died like what which one do you know if they have like five assholes they don't wear pants which one does what they go they all do the same thing if only one one one feels good when it goes up there and then that one doesn't shit no it does oh

bummer I guess it's fine anyway but like I mean ideally that one would just be clean sure you'd have to worry about cleaning it before it's on whatever remember the whole thing with the bottoms on the uberete's thing or whatever it was oh yeah that wouldn't be a concern for them because you know if that was a case if it was clean yeah that's true i just want to make first contact with another species you know that's so much to ask anyway thanks so much for tuning in uh you got anything to no listen to the comp patreon listen to the comp patreon extra episode every week five bucks a month

sign up for the twitch and subscribe and whatever we'd love you so much thanks for tuning in have a great day