Kump - 129 - The Scum Sinks In

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss their post apocalyptic plans,  Elon Musk taking over Twitter,  and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to come. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. Mike? Who? People who are live on the Twitch stream. Oh.

We're on Twitch now. We've been on, I mean, technically we've been on, but we've actually been doing a lot of a lot of streams lately. Yeah, those have been fun. We've played a little evil within. Evil within. I've been playing Call of Duty and all sorts of other crazy games. So just go on to Twitch.com.

Sign up for it and check us out. It's Twitch. TV slash Ray Kump. You'll find a link in the description. and you know we stream what every Thursday at 7 and every Saturday at noon those the official times but also I've been popping in every day for like an hour or two so make sure you follow and put notifications on and you can see things like me putting this uh this what is a windsock people people in the in the chat were like wow we actually when this shows up on the podcast

they're going to see this wind sock and then but we were here first and does that make them better i guess so maybe look things are getting rough out there you need any edge you can get all right and uh if we're going to be some kind of tribal um faction in the post apocalypse you better start getting in early you know your bona fides for the comp show you agree oh yeah i agree i mean i'm gonna look favorably on people who watch me live as well as the podcast you know if we're gonna you know look they're a good vibes in the chat too there's great vibes there's only so many gun hands to go around so i mean like i appreciate everyone who listens to the patreon and listens to um who watches the show listens to the show

but if i got to pick if i have five gun hands i can fuse to your arm and like you know it's going to hurt people people don't really realize how much it's going to hurt to get the gun hand put on and to use your body wasn't designed for a gun to be just fused onto it um we're going to do it anyway because that's how we roll. There's going to be a lot of infected knuckles. Oh, we're going to, look, I mean, I got to imagine that, like, the first few dozen people to get gun hands

are going to lose the arm. Yeah. Right? And I'm going to wait. That's my prerogative as leader of this post-apocalyptic faction. As, you know, I mean, what, whether it be, you know, so point is do everything you can for comp, but the people who do everything are going to get the gun hand.

I guess it's a bad pitch, you might lose your arm but you lose it for us and for and for the glory of uh of of of cump i feel like there should be a stronger name strong a stronger name than cump's a strong name but like cumps uh comps uh what like what could we be we could be cumps uh armada mumps dumps dumps dumps yeah that's it it's not that scary but that's maybe for the best we can just try to trick people maybe you could drop the cump entirely and just call it the dump militia the dump militia i mean sure and then if you know if some kind of fetishist militia wants to take that name because they like to do hot dumps well we'll fight it'll be like brave hard

or uh what's the other movie where they fight they're in private save it private rying that is another one yeah save it private cump you know i mean do you do you envision that like imagine jump just dumping me onto the on the beaches of normandy oh yeah with an infected arm with a gun that's just like pumping like, you know, lead and like all sorts of like other weird chemicals into my bloodstream every time I shoot. See, I don't know if that's the ideal place to drop you because because there's going to be a bunch of guys around you with their guts pouring out. I don't know if they'll be able to appreciate the full majesty of a guy with an infected

gun hand. I'm just like this guy has got no legs and one arm by himself, right? And I'm just chug chugging this gun hand at some, you know, Germans. And I'm going to look at this. Isn't this great? And he's like, kill me. You know where I would like to dump you with a gun hand? Where is that?

I would like to dump you in the middle of the Christmas truce in World War I. When the Germans and the Americans are having Christmas dinner, just drop you in there. Didn't someone break the truce? Well, the military leaders broke the truth. They said if you do that again, we'll have you executed. Oh, all the guys. So in World War I, do you remember where battle it was? I forget what battle it was.

some big one, like the Somme or something, right? It was like a big trench warfare. And everyone's got, that's got a really burst your bubble. Like you're, you know, if you're not familiar with trench, as trench warfare as I am, uh, it's, it was basically dug these like miles long trenches, right? And you're just shooting each other and like sometimes guys come out of the trenches and try to run at the other side. They get just mowed down.

And like, it's just, you're just trying to take some hill back and forth. And it's all pretty futile. And it's got to be a real head, head, head, scratcher when when someone's like hey you guys want to take a break for christmas maybe we can come over and eat some uh eat some ham and like all right i mean and you're just sitting there and you're like we're going to go back we're going to get back in the trench and just start shooting at each other why i mean look i would enjoy the christmas dinner and then betray them yeah i mean and that's just that's not being a rat how would that make me a rat people love to call me a rat and say like oh

you uh you broke the christmas truce i mean we're going to shoot at him anyway i let them have the ham i gave them one of those fruit cups i mean it was spoiled but you know i was going to eat i was still going to eat it so it's not nothing and uh and then you know who would we be fighting in this case if we're americans or french maybe yeah we could be fighting the french yeah so like i forget if the christmas truce was americans are british but right it probably was british i feel i feel like Americans would, we are just kind of a nation of rats. Yeah. So that makes more sense. I mean, I'm not unique

here. I'm just an American. I'm just a red-blooded American who enjoys a canned ham, a spoiled fruit cup, and betraying my enemies. Truce. What's a truce? Yeah. So, you know. I would, and the gun hand would work well for that because you could be eating some ham

and bread in one hand. Ooh. And, yeah, whipping out the gun hand with another. Like to carve the turkey or something? Well, at first you'd be like, oh, look, look, this is neat. I can carve the turkey. I can carve our turkey with this. Well, I mean.

And then, I don't think it would go well, but sure. Once you got your hunk of turkey off, you just start, you just start blasting away. Sure. So you think you, I don't, you're not the, like, you're not like the most gun officiato. But you think about shooting like a heavy artillery rifle out of my hand into a turkey. They would just come off in like nice chunks. It might, I mean, maybe, maybe I could, you know, I mean, honestly, is that, is that how you envision, like, war where you're just, like, kind of, you're shooting at people and then you open, and then you're opening your mouth, hoping a little goody popped in. I mean, it depends on how sleek the design is, I assume.

Design is what, the turkey or the gun? The gun, yeah. I imagine this is a very, this gun has a lot of precision. I mean, more so than the average gun. Oh, sure, you can do surgery with this gun. Hey, you want me to put a stint in your heart? you cholesterol riddled soldier. These bullets can extract bullets as well as put them inside of you.

I don't know if you understand what guns are. And that's fine. I mean, this is kind of, I mean, and not to put you down, but this is kind of what the right of envisions when the left says they want gun control.

I'm just imagining a better gun that can be more easily defended constitutional. Look, I agree. If you have a gun that can mow down enemies on the battlefield that can also be used to perform LASIC eye surgery is inherently better. It does both. It's harder to make a case to ban that. It seems to break the laws of physics and just basic logic.

What's better? What's better? What if there are 40 wild hogs in my property and I have to deal with them? Or what if my little daughter needs surgery on her eyes? And I'm the only one who can perform it with my LASIC surgery gun. I think the latter is better. You're going to give the hogs laces surgery? No, the daughter.

Okay. I see, you know, that was a big thing on Twitter when I was still on. It was some guy saying, I need my gun for wild hogs. Sure. I know, I've seen the wild hogs. I was in. They're brutal. Yeah, well, I mean, they were very sweet.

I was in New Orleans. Are you cuddling with them? Well, almost. I was on a swamp boat tour looking at the, what crocodiles or all? What's down there? Alligators or crocs? Gators, yeah, this was a gator tour. And we saw some games

They were just kind of It was winter So like they weren't really like you know Trying to get us And they were just kind of chilling But there was these wild hogs And the guy on his boat And he was like an old school

You know, Cajun or whatever And he had a like a giant bottle of I don't know dog food or whatever And he's just The pigs would come over And he would just kind of feed it to him like babies So you know I know you have a blood loss for these hogs

But they can be very sweet They can also gore you and murder you. I don't know if they do that. They just kind of destroy the land and overrun it. I mean, you have to deal with it. If anyone here from a, can we bring up a picture of a wildhog? I wish I had my picture. These things, I mean, they've been running rampant for a decade.

I mean, we haven't had gun control forever, and we haven't fixed this problem. So I'm not sure what, you know, what the, let's just, yeah, we go. Look at this thing. This is someone who's just, enjoying this is a monster this is a i mean i think it's cute i mean she she's someone call her a monster for you know you know defending her children or whatever i don't know so i mean is this dead or

is she about to is she about to i can't i can't tell what's going on in this picture if she's petting it or if she's just killed it i mean you you don't recognize a traditional i've killed this thing stance yeah but she's like petting it and like and it seems to be enjoying itself i think you kind of put like, you know. Look, it looks like it's, it's experience in some kind of euphoria. Well, look, I imagine, you know, it's apropos when you've shot an animal, shot a beast to kind of, you know, play with its mouth and kind of make it look happy. It's your, look, you've conquered nature.

You get to, you get to decide narrative. Oh, man. You know what? That's when you put it that way, it's kind of, that is dark. It's bold and powerful. I would love to go hunt, you know, here's the problem. problem is uh i i just don't know that you won't act you know is it you envision it's a seven or the same bullets doing lacy on your daughter as killing a hog i imagine that you can get

different bullets for any of your purposes okay so i just i would hate to see you shoot you know your daughter while trying to do lazy guys or i mean that would that would be horrific i also you know so i didn't envision this is a laser gun um but that could be cool yeah ever happen to laser guns. Now we just use them to like scan supermarket stuff. Lasers went from like, oh, it's space guns to like here, like, you know, scan your red bullet target and enjoy. I had to self-check it out. So yeah, welcome to the show. Uh, it's crazy week. Can we get this hog off the, it's just driving. I know you don't see anymore, but I see it off the laptop. It's just, it's making me uncomfortable. There we go. Uh,

It's a wild week for social media, I guess, and for the world. Look, we have been outspoken on this show about a man we call the scum. Now, I don't hate, I hate, I hate that basically. You got to be careful now. Oh, he doesn't know on YouTube yet. He has known Google. but uh i hate i hate to you know to see my vision co-opted by the masses right like i was i was anti alon musk for very petty reasons right for reasons relating to you know some

not petty but submarines and him slandering people i thought uh you know we've gone over this the cave and alan musk trying to get people to use this submarine to save children as some kind of branding deal um i included him in my in my pitch for tv shows uh Football Granddaddy Supreme featuring Alon Musk is the scum. You can check that out in the, you know, in the archives this show. It's a, it's like from a few years ago. Football Granddaddy Supreme is the name of it. And now everyone's just gone crazy because he's trying to buy, he tried to buy Twitter.

They wouldn't let them buy Twitter. Then they want him to buy Twitter. He didn't want to buy it. I guess they kind of pressed his hand back, you know, beginning of, beginning last month, maybe. I don't know all the details of it. Finally, on, was it Friday? a lawn must the scum bought twitter he took it over and now he's in control of the world's most um what would you call it the world's most the world's cesspool yeah pretty much a place where you go

a pool of ideas right it's kind of like you know it's kind of like when you talk about the ancient world and like you know Babylon and Baghdad right or in the library of Alexandria and like great minds coming together to share spices various spices and also texts right because they didn't have books back then so i imagine you'd bring a book uh to if you were from where would you be from damascus and you go into the library of alexandria you bring a copy of uh gulliver's travels was that written back then i think it was this was before that but um uh you'd bring Brady Snellis is American Psycho. Right.

Whatever. And maybe some turmeric. And you say, here's a spice and here's a book. And that was a nicer time because now on Twitter, we all know what it is. It's a, it's a hellscape. It's a nightmare. But I love to be on, follow me on Twitter at Ray Kump. But he decided he's going to come right in and he just swept house.

What would you do? Yeah, yeah, a bunch of people got fired. He fired. I don't remember her name, but she was the one that was on the Joe Rogan show, fighting with Tim Poole. Right. I mean, she probably would say I wasn't fighting, but, you know, it was a, it was a real meeting of the minds. Tim Poole. That was a real, like, you know, experiment in whiplash for me.

I was just like, who, you disgust me more here. And then Jack Dorsey's just sitting there like he's the, like the old spice guy, like the old spice, not the old school old spice guy, but the, uh, because we were what, well, we'll get to that at the minute. That reminds me of something. We were watching some crazy documentary today. but you know the guy who like puts the shower gel on that's what jack dorsey seems like to me yeah just some guy in a shaving commercial um but yeah and so he fired her he fired a CEO and everyone's like oh ha ha ha Dorsey was long gone by the time he took it over right I believe yeah yeah yeah I think so um they we're gonna get golden parachutes now it looks like he might not

pay him golden parachutes because he fired him for cause it's all over the Wait, what was his cause? He didn't like him. No, I'm not sure. I mean, I did see just a little while ago he made some tweet with some screenshot of people chatting alluding to the fact that they were hiding things from him. Apparently he's digging through the garbage at Twitter. Do we have an article?

We have an article, right? The one must takes Twitter. Let's see. What is it? What kind of details we have here? zoom on this to his homepage well

less than 24 hours after completing his $44 billion acquisition of Twitter Alon Musk decided to change his home page he requested that logged out users visiting twitter.com be redirected to the explorer page

that shows trending tweets and news stories this doesn't seem like juicy details oh he changed where he redirected the home page I'm talking about him like, you know, he made me, he was carrying a sink when he came into Twitter. Right. Details here for people. The news, this is why the news is falling apart.

Give me the juice. Before visiting to his home page or are logged out, show only a sign-up form, encouraging the creation of an account to view tweets? What is going on? This article is bizarre. The bused and widely articulate a reason for the change to the employees who observed it. The message was clear. No more sacred cows.

Inside the old Twitter, such a decision would have been fought over for, between teams for weeks, but this was the new Twitter, as a former executive told me. That's clearly one way to make it clear, you're in charge now. This journalist stinks. I don't like this article. Yeah. I'll just wing it without an article in front of me

because I just remember stuff. And this guy is just, you know, they read a, you know, if you log on Twitter now, it brings you to an HTTPS site that, you know, like, shut up, nerd. All right? This guy came in. he was apparently having people uh having programmers print out their code for the last

month like your most important code you do now i'm not coder uh but i don't think they usually print out spools of their code right this is not the 1970s yeah um and then he got and he wanted them to bring it to them and then he does the last minute he changed his mind it just sounds like he's uh he's got very fertile mind i guess he's just got a lot of ideas he's jumping from one to the next he apparently is digging around inside the trash bins looking for old messages um just so he can you know out out out these people like it just i'll find you real quick on twitter when's the last time you were on twitter like a year ago right yeah over over a year ago it's it's it's better that way it's a nicer existence it is uh what would you do if elan must start

coming after you and said and said i know what you've been saying about me and i'm going to make sure that uh and he started uh what do they call it when they when they cancel you without telling you shadow banning you and then maybe you started getting weird messages from him on twitter saying like you're you're about to get your come up and scum what would you do first of all i would just film a video of biting myself biting off a finger and i would say what if i'm going to bite my own finger off what do you think i'll do to your finger You know? Yeah.

Now, the reality is what would I do? I'd probably kiss it. But not an aggressive way. Yeah. You know, not like his to rate. In a way that he wouldn't enjoy. I just want to make sure. I want to get clear.

I wouldn't do anything to Roland Musk. But he wouldn't know. You know, he wouldn't know what to do with me. So he probably have me just put in a box. So here's what he tweets an hour ago. Watchell and Twitter board deliberately hid this evidence from the court. Stay tuned. More to come.

and some guy named yole roth but also l-o-l if amir who is that the CEO i don't know continues to b s me my escalation route is ameer's okay rs are entirely based on fraudulent metrics and he doesn't care and may actively be trying to hide the ball and he goes literally doing what alon is accusing us of doing so that is juicy you know uh that is pretty juicy but point is he's digging around do you what do you think i mean do you do you think he's going to find what's the worst thing you think he can find in the garbage um just a dartboard with his head on it he's like these bastards just a picture of his head just glued onto a onto onto a donkey with a very large genitalia and he goes they're calling

me a big dick donkey what if what gives um lindy west is in there just waiting to attack him Oh, the large annoying journalist? Yeah. Is she still around? She's still bothering people. Yeah, I think she's around. What was she famous for? I remember her and Jim Norton gone into a trist.

That's what I know her most from is her debate with her. A very weirdly formal debate with Jim Norton. She didn't like that he was funny or aggressive or did he, like, did he shit his pants next to her or something? I think it was about rape jokes. Oh. Which. Yeah. We have made one or two.

Have we? I don't know. You have to dig through our garbage along and find out. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like, I guess, I guess I'm not just not sure. I thought it was kind of like, now when he says they're lying to me, they're keeping things from me,

does he mean things that would suggest that Twitter is less profitable than it is or like more profitable than it is? Yeah, yeah, I guess that they were like basically, I'm assuming it relates to chuking up the stats, driving up, Having bots, having, you know, fake engagement. I don't, I think it's the implication.

But who knows? I mean, this man also, like, carried a sink in on his first day. Just as a prop. He said, I'm going to Twitter HQ, let us sink in. And he carried in a sink. Some assistant brought him to sink to carry in. So who knows what he's really? He's just a wild card.

I mean, you can't pin this guy down. Are you going to go back on Twitter and I think? because of Musk? I mean, what's he going to do? Is he going to be, is it more fun now? Well, I mean, there was, look, who knows what's true? But apparently a lot of people are saying a lot of nasty things. Oh, really?

I mean, I don't know that. Yeah, I mean, look, my purpose and going on Twitter was never to just like, you know, drop the N-word all over the place. No, should it be. Yeah. Nor should anyone. But apparently that's, a lot of people came back on the Twitter and just started doing that. Yeah.

And I said, look what we can do now. And Alon came out. I'm like, I didn't change the algorithm yet. I don't know what you. You always kind of could do that until they stopped you. I don't make it very clear. I don't know what I'm going to do, but he wants to build some kind of alliance of creators or something

or something or some kind of bored to like oversee. He just ends up turning it into Clubhouse again. Yeah. It's just, he says Jake Paul, just, you know, moderating tweets. Yeah. Yeah. So there's that. I mean, there's speculation that he'll bring Trump back,

which is driving people nuts on both sides. Yeah, look, look, I was never sure about the efficacy or, like, morality of banning Trump. I do think, like, there's a case to be made that he's the president and people should be able to see what he says. But he's not the president anymore. Or even a former president. Are you one of those people?

No, but at the time he was the president. I guess he had the last couple weeks of his presidency, right? Yeah. I thought I thought you were kind of switched on me, And you were a... Oh, yeah. He's the rightful president. You were elected to the higher.

No, yeah. I mean, look, who it's all... Look, we're in the end game probably of... And by that, I mean, the Avengers. Marvel movies. I don't know. I mean, who knows what's going to happen. But sadly, and some people blaming this on the whole...

I don't. But some people blaming this next thing on that. Nancy Pelosi's husband... was attacked. Paul Pelosi. Paul Pelosi. Now, Paul Pelosi is, what does he do? He's some kind of finance guy?

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, and he's been involved in a lot of dealings, and some people say they had to do with things that were under her purview. I don't know. You know, some people accuse him. There are some insider trading allegations, yeah. Which Obama, I don't even,

I'm not even sure it's illegal technically anymore. I think they made it legal at some point. They're just like insider trade, which seems very great for them. I got to admit, if I was in charge, if I was, if I was Nancy Pelosi, I would love to just, you know, buy stock in the band-aids when wars start, right? Or how do you, I mean, I'm not even sure how I would make money. Like, give me a scenario. And we'll play a game. Okay.

Give me a legislation. I'll see what I would buy knowing that. Okay, so you just found out that your wife is about to get a bill passed that makes it legal to sell Cuban cigars in the U.S. I would buy stock in Napster. Is that right? Wait, what? No, no, why would you buy stock in Nabster? I mean, I just feel like the kind of people who buy Cuban cigars also like the pirate music.

And, I mean, look, I kind of, I overthink things too much. I tend to, like, take things to a weird place where it's like, you know, I assume what do I buy stock in Cuban cigar? That's, uh, everyone's going to be doing that. I got to think outside the box. I'll invest in Taco Bell, you know? So I'm just saying it's not even, even doing insider trading might not be as easy as it looks. Sure. I mean, I'm going to be flamed here for supposedly holding water for the Pelosi's.

But that's regardless. This is regard. these are accusations and regardless this man was attacked yeah and um i do think we should point out that uh he was attacked with a hammer uh wait is a hammer yeah this man was attacked with a hammer is he am i getting royalties for this he was attacked with a hammer and uh who's where where is the check going is it going to be direct a positive or is it going to come in the mail from me because i am sick and tired of like maybe i shouldn't be taking credit for him yeah i just realized no i inspired this No, he's never listened to the cump pocket.

No, we've got to be distancing ourselves from this. This is not how you pull a cump move. Look, I only advise. The guy who set himself on, threaten to send himself on fire and the bank, perfect cump move. That was, yes. Did we talk about that?

Yes. I don't remember. My brain's, my brain's rotting out. Yeah, that's a cump move. Basically, anything doesn't get me in trouble to come move. Yeah.

Please don't ever mention this again. But apparently when the police came, Paul Pelosi also had a hammer. So they were having this like hammer stand. Wait, it was a hammer fight. It turned into a hammer fight. I, is there a video of this? No, I wish there was.

I mean, we watched that. I watched the Jake Paul Anderson Silver fight last night. I bought the pay-review. It was an exciting fight, very crazy. I would have paid five times as much to watch a hammer fight between Paul Pelosi and this man. Wow. What a, what a, what a country. Let's see where we got.

She's going to tell us about this fight? Yeah, she's going to add a little bit of detail. Details about the attack on the husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. A source familiar with the incident tells CNN that the suspected assailant had a bag of zip ties during the break-in on Friday. Paul Pelosi is still recovering in a hospital this morning. He suffered a skull fracture and injuries to his hands and right arm when he was struck with a hammer. President Biden speaking about the attack for the first time

and blasting those who have propped up conspiracy theories. It's wonderful. He looks great there. Biden looks like a million bucks, in my opinion. He's, uh, I mean, honestly, he's got these aviator sunglasses, and he's, uh, thing to condemn the, what's it, what's the hell? I'm just trying to, there we go. Okay, let's I want to hear every juicy word he says

Violence But you can't condemn the violence unless you condemn those people continue to argue The election was not real That is being stolen That all the all the Milwaukee that's being put out there In the midst of an attack on the speaker's husband And uh What he could he would call a violent in his direction

and the violence, the malarkey. Yeah. He's like, this is the perfect time to go back to the catchphrase. Did anyone call it malarkey on 9-11? Yeah. I mean, was that malarkey? Was Biden going, oh, my, he's in like some bunker

going like, can you believe this malarkey? How many more planes are going to come? To undermine democracy. CNN Sunland, Servati has more from Washington, Sunland. We're also hearing from the House Speaker for the first time. since this attack. What did she have to say? That's right, Fred. And you can really hear the raw emotion in her voice when she put out

this statement using words like heartbreaking and traumatizing to do it. Oh, wait, wait, the raw emotion in the word heartbreaking? Yeah. What the hell are they talking about? This is a really, this is a heart, this is so hard. I'm just watching my, like, my son die in front. This is heartbreaking. Wouldn't the raw emotion be like, ah! My husband is been hit with a hammer. If Nancy Pelosi was just running through the streets, bloodied with her,

you know, just covered in her husband's blood. Oh, yeah, covered in blood. She's going, sanctuary! That would be raw emotion. Yes.

What does that mean sanctuary? That's what gypsies used to say. Oh, interesting. Because, you know, the church was used to give him sanctuary. So they would scream at the, church sanctuary i don't know i mean i'm not sure what the customs are of the of them but um

what were they going to do send an email i mean they might just knock on the church door not not run through the street screaming sanctuary it's just you know i'm sure it's happened a couple of times but this attack that happened on her husband and she says in quote in part quote Friday morning, a violent man broke into our family home, demanded to... Oh, real, real raw emotion, a violent man. I mean, the language of these people, it's just very tame. To confront me and brutally attacked my husband, Paul, our children, our grandchildren. Wait, they were all there, too? The children and the grandchildren?

Oh, he demanded, oh, he, wait, wait, demanded to confront me and brutally attack my husband, Paul. Oh, our children are... She's, they're trying to mix it up here. All right. So what she's saying is, the man is to confront me and brutally attack my husband, Paul, our children, our grandchildren,

and I are heartbroken. I don't know why she's including them, because it makes it seem like, attack my husband Paul, our children, and our grandchildren, which is not what she's saying. These people,

the journalists, we should be the news. Whatever we decide on every week's podcast, just be what you get. Because they're just, the CNN is just out of control. Yeah. I thought they got rid of that,

of the shenanigans at CNN with the Zucker guy I thought they were going to they were on Titan ship here yeah I forget exactly what they said they said they were going to make it more centrist or something right I mean well that it just seems like it's just very lame yeah I mean we can't go back I guess we can't just we we just can't go back to the way it used to be when the news was just like not trying to get you to hurt someone because I feel the news now is just like well it was no matter what you watch is trying to get you to at least

throw a rock at someone. Well, I feel like this is like it's not so much like it's inciting. It's more like it's just so, it's such a lame response to like a violent attack on not a politician, but like a public figure. No, what's what I'm saying? This isn't. This is why it's so boring.

Yeah. It's because it's just lame. Yeah. We can't. I'm saying we're going to go back to like the pre craziness. Like, no. We hate this, but we're not going back. I love how they show the picture of that guy who's like the suspect and then they just kind of blew past and it's like wait a man who is that guy I think he's just some bum right is he a bum I mean like homeless guy I mean like he's just some like I heard he's just some Berkeley guy who just you know but then some people are saying he's a right wing guy who knows I don't believe anything yeah I mean look I wouldn't be surprised if it was politically motivated I mean you know no she I don't think it's good to like just assume that it's not no I mean it's possible Paul Pelosi just you know was a jerk who like told me say stop shit on my lawn.

Guy, Hey, guy, guy, go shit in the street, not my, my, Margolias. Is that a flower? Margolias?

Yeah. Magnolias. Magnolias. Yeah. Stop shit in my Margoalias. My what? I don't know. My wife plasim planted.

You mean magnolias? My wife does take care of the landscaping. She calls them to people. I, whatever they are. Don't shit on. Wait, you're wifey or what you're,

is this you're the speaker of the house? You can't take care of the landscaping for your own morgolias? I'm busy buying shares in, in Napster. I don't know what you're talking about. Eat my hammer, bitch. Oh, God. Get my hammer. Get my hammer. Children. Um, so, uh,

and I are heartbroken and traumatized by the life-threatening attack on our pop. We are grateful for the quick response of law enforcement and emergency services and for the life saving medical care he is receiving and one part of good so look it's bad uh it's not good and there's uh apparently they let him go to the bathroom at one point to make a phone call and he called the police or something i might be getting that wrong yeah like he like yeah at one point like they they described it i was reading some other article about it and the wording was funny where it was like but it was like paul pulosi uh you know paul paul paulucci I had a stroke of brilliance during the attack

Where he asked the assailant to let him use the bathroom And then he called the police That's true, that's just mistake number one You be Paul Pelosi, I'll be the assailant Okay This is gonna be bad for me Wait, so presumably we're in the middle of a hammer fight Well, I guess I've won the hammer fight

Maybe, yeah You just won the men's won the hammer I'm not related I have nothing to do with this guy Okay, the man is just won the hammer fight Yeah, well, I'm not going to play. Hey, buddy. Yeah.

Can't use a bathroom? Shit on the floor. God damn. You think you're going to get over on me? That's all I had up my sleeve. You think I was born yesterday and a pile of roast? What? It is funny to attack someone with a hammer and then just casually let them use the bathroom.

Yeah. Like, it's such a brutal thing to do to somebody right before you let them use the bathroom. I guess he was trying to get to below. Everyone's trying to get. Get the Pelosi. Yeah. The generate six people all want to get Pelosi. This guy with a hammer.

Yeah. I mean, it's like where in the world is Nancy Pelosi? Mm-hmm. You know, where in the world is Nancy Pelosi? Remember that song? The Carmen San Diego song. Yeah, of course. All right.

I thought it was cute. Well, I don't think they're trying to kill Carmen San Diego. I will. I mean, I would always imagine that if she was caught, she would be executed by the Hague. Is she some kind of renegade? I thought she was, like, working for the government. What? No, she's a criminal.

Oh, she is? Yeah, you work for Interpol when you play that game where you watch that show. You saw Carmen Cain Diego was like, it was just like, where is she now? Hey, look, I'm in Tahiti. I thought she was like Waldo. You don't assume, maybe Waldo is a serial rapist. I mean, I've always assumed that. Yeah.

Why is he always hiding in these crowds wearing these, like, bright colors that attract children? whatever um but no i i she's a horrible criminal she's i i assume she's like she's a horrible criminal she's like carlos de jackal i imagine like you know bin ladsden what do you think is the worst thing carman san diego is done i mean in her in their universe like she was responsible for like um the taco bell fires yeah taco bell fires yeah like hundreds of them oh okay people were maimed that would she would she would like that's the kind of thing interpol gets involved in well she would do it she did it in america she did it in uh poland polish taco bell i guess that does make it yeah you start you start you know you start talking around with like

multiple countries taco bells they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna get to business uh i don't even know what is interpol it's like is interpol it's like is interpol have any authority anywhere i feel like interpol just they like they show up at like some kind we're from Interpol. There's a closet in the back. You can work out of there. You know, like, I don't know what they do. There was that movie with Clive Owen where he was an Interpol guy. That's the only time I've ever heard Interpol referred to besides Carmen San Diego. Anyway, we're not happy about Paul. This is very sad. No, but we're trying to be funny about it. We're, you know.

No, I'm just saying. Like, you know, but, uh... No, of course, no, it's a very brutal thing that have happened. Sure. Uh, that being said, uh, Alon Musk, he's back in the, he's back in the news. He had something to say about. He, apparently Hillary Clinton, I think she tweeted that, let's see, she tweeted that something about like extremism causing this. Let's see. What are we got here?

Alam Musk, new owner of Twitter, tweets unfounded conspiracy theory about Paul Pelosi attack. Tweet an unfounded conspiracy theory Sunday morning about the attack at the husband of Pelosi from a website that has a history of publishing. false information the New York Times must not really must respond to the former secretary of state

Hillary Clinton when she tweeted out an L.A. Times story about how the suspecting the attack on Pelosi, David the Pape David the Pape. David DePape. David DePape. Honestly, you know, I would love to see this.

Instead of doing, instead of attacking people with hammers, you should open a pizza train. I mean, is he Italian? I mean, that sounds like that. Italian. It could be Portuguese for all I know. David DePape. Spread far-right conspiracy theories.

There's a tiny possibility there might be more of this story to meet the eye, Muscoort de Clinton. Link into a story published on a right-wing website called the Santa Monica Observer that questioned the circumstances of the attack on Pelosi, according to an archive version of the story. The website was no longer accessible late Sunday morning. As of Sunday morning, Musk's tweet had more than 24,000 retweets. Now, whether or not, now, apparently they're saying this, this site saying that the Musk,

this thing he retweeted was no, I can't speak to that about the Santa Monica Observer. I don't know. It did seem a little bit far. I mean, from the, from the details I heard about it, it did seem a pretty far afield, like where it was like, it was like, it was like, saying that this guy was like Paul Pelosi's like gay lover, basically or something. Really? It's like, it sounds, it does sound like the kind of thing that some like far right. Yeah.

It just makes up. I don't know. I don't think gay lover. usually hit each other with hammers but uh but i mean either way it's funny that like a CEO is because he's CEO of twitter now like there's just like no he he's just a wild card like what other CEO have you ever seen doing stuff like this i mean has there been what's the craziest CEO you can remember before him has there been one usually they're very buttoned up and they'll take a week to respond to something and they'll just kind of wait for it to go away right but he just comes right after hey clinton

I'm surprised he didn't, like, bring up Benghazi. Yeah. Hey, why don't you, what about those deleted emails, you're freaking, your friggin sows? And it's a really pussyish way to do it, too. Like, reach, we do Hillary Clinton and they can go, uh, madam, there's a tiny possibility that there's more of the beats the, like, if you're going to do it, why don't it just be aggressive about it? I think he was being, to be fair to the scum. I think he was kind of being like, hey, there's a, like, air quotes, tiny possibility. Like I think he was being, you know, I think he was doing that kind of thing.

I don't think he was, I think he was being a little, he loves to troll. Yeah. Which I, you know, he should be, he should be, I swear to God, if he, people are always like, oh, why is the law must have been in $44 billion on Twitter? Like he could, you know, he could use that money to feed, you know, the world, which I don't know if that's true. And like, you know, the world's got plenty of food, mate. No, it doesn't, probably not.

Whatever. Whatever. I've got to see him spend $44 billion on like the, you know, most amazing jerky boys album you could ever imagine like that kind of why doesn't he become a prankster or like you know or just make his own like uh make a jackass movie you know right if you want to troll people you know troll people you disagree you think you think you think you should feed people look it would be nice if he fed people but look if he's not going to do that then yeah jackass movie i don't know why anyone thought this guy was going to feed anyone

make a billion honestly if Elon Musk made a billion dollar jackass movie yeah it would kind of be hard to hate him yeah the only reason I would hate him is he because he didn't spend two billion right I mean what kind of pranks you think he would do you think he would like do like uh like perform like you know remove someone's kidneys yeah in the third world and have him you know put inside himself I haven't even I mean or maybe maybe their eyes you know I feel like a lot of them relate to him taking organs out of people against their will or maybe he pays their family

and they have a illicit surgery those are all the pressure it's just a highlight reel of rich people stealing organs from the whore and that look that's a hell of a prank I mean it's not I wouldn't necessarily call it all in good fun but it's a it's a hell of a

that hits you right out of left field well look jackass has had its consequences too look when jackass put a car a man's ass and then sent him to the doctor with the x-rays right yeah that was 15 years ago he's got a one he's got he's got like one-up jackass right he can't you know he can't just do that again imagine if he came in to twitter on his first day and then he with an x-ray machine and he showed his colon on the x-ray machine there was a car inside of him I'm actually thinking

why didn't he do that if i if i own twitter I would totally do that I would just put stuff inside me and have an x-ray machine. I would let journalists operate the machine so they knew I wasn't lying. And then I would cut myself open so they knew it wasn't a rigged machine. And then I don't know. I guess I would also do stuff about Twitter,

you know, set policies maybe. This does feel more like a stagecraft thing than something that happens on a digital platform, though. Sure. I mean, like you could be doing this on a lab. You could be the new Houdini with this kind of routine. Well, I just shove it. things inside me and then allow people to x-ray me and then still for some reason cut myself

open right and you think it's profitable there's no doubt that it's profitable i mean i thought it'd be cool i mean he doesn't really need the money i mean so he's just doing it as a gag because people want to hear about twitter but you think i can actually take this on tour you think it could sell out the garden yeah doing this so i mean i would have to be i would have to like you know just have like thousands of people x-raying me how much more tickets going to cost 300 a pop you think enough people are out there there spent $300 a pop to x-ray me to see the things the things they shove inside me you have you have three pools of audience potentially you have people who are into the gore of it okay you have people you have people who are into the mystery of it

okay and then you have the mystery and then you have the skeptics who want to come and like figure out what you're what you're really doing but really what you're doing is shoving things inside of yourself but they're going to try to guess like what how you're You're faking it. So you think that this is going to have a lot of like Agatha Christie fans, like overlapping. For sure. Yeah. All right.

I'm the new poor row. Or just said David Blaine. You could put David Blaine out of business. I would love to put them out, no matter what, put it up. Yeah, that's worth it. Now, just to follow up on what we were just talking about, it's not working. It's not working. Apparently he deleted the tweet.

That's what I was going to say. I wanted to hit a button so someone would come up and I could say, look, he deleted it. But I'm a fraud. I'm a middle class fraud. so he deleted it so that controversy's uh i mean okay for his first couple days is owner of twitter he's making he's making news and if that is this going to raise the stock price of twitter you think um well it does seem like the kind of thing that would at least temporarily yeah just because like probably you know because the stock market market all runs on like kind of vague

feelings of optimism and pessimism right so like oh yeah just outright fraud yeah so it's like I can imagine people maybe being like, yeah, let's see where this goes. Like, yeah, let's ride this. I mean, what if Twitter just becomes a place you go to watch Musk's antics? You know, like he's like he's a, like he's a circus geek. Yeah, it's just musk.com. Like you want, like in six months, he's going on Twitter and he's just shoving light bulbs in his mouth. You know, uh, and like I'm so, I still won't be verified or whatever.

Uh, but, you know, speaking of controversies. You know, we had Kanye last week. We have Musk this week. And now we also have following in Kanye's shoes, one, Kyrie Irving. If you're not familiar with him, he's a basketball boy. He's on the Brooklyn Nets. He had a lot of controversy last year because he wouldn't get the vaccine. Right.

And he couldn't play at home game. Just a whole, whatever. But that's resolved now, I guess. And now he is just addicted to the controversy or whatever. maybe he's just he saw Kanye's thing and he really got inspired but he has a boost Kyrie Irving boosts anti-Semitic

movie peddling Jewish slave ships so basically he promoted this thing on Twitter this was Rolling Stone was gonna pay gate me all right whatever I'll just what is rolling Rolling Stone can't make enough money up of like you know selling you know

Prince of Jennifer Aniston half naked on the cover from 30 years ago so they got they got to make me pay gate this story for me whatever uh well i can see if that's i'm not buying it i'm not buying him rolling stone 100 thompson doesn't work there anymore uh basically the movie is just uh it's it's it's about black israelites and it's uh something to do with like you know the jewish people ran the slave ship which just seems intuitively wrong right um yeah no that definitely i know it's wrong i know it's wrong it just seems like it's you would you would think this wouldn't even catch heat at all i agree i i 100% think it's wrong i

i don't i don't remember these slave ships being uh i don't don't weren't like jewish people kind of like on the back foot at that point like in general you know like what was it like 1600s like weren't they dealing with their own thing they yeah they've been dealing with their own thing for a while and they just they just definitely weren't doing the transatlantic slave trade i wouldn't think so uh there's just no it's it's one of those like premises that just like i don't no, it just, it just, it just, uh, disproves itself as soon as it said. Like it's like, pretty much. If you just think about it for two seconds, I mean, there's a lot of things.

I feel like anti-Jewish conspiracy theories usually rely on vaguer concepts. Like, then something, I guess, blatantly disprovable as this, but, you know, but I'll hear him out. The Ness have enabled and empowered Kyrie Irving alone enough that, well, this is some guys, this is some guy's statement. I mean, it's not. now Irving has gone too far it's on the nest to make this right

it's on the nest to tell Irving that posting a link to a clearly anti-Semitic movie is one bridge too far it's your responsibility to tell him that uh I mean that just seems that's that's just seems like it seems like yeah we've kind of come to her we've got a long way from

uh what the sports guys usually get in trouble for just like assaulting people or I guess any yeah I guess the same thing anybody else gets in trouble for like he just seems like he's really good at getting attention yeah and i'm jealous of that i don't want to say the things he says but like he doesn't seem to get in trouble for him i mean he like loses some money but he's very rich how do we do this without being anti-semitic how do we learn from it

can we how do we learn from conier without being indecimatic i guess we can't that's part of the point yeah look i mean it's i feel like there is maybe some use in just knowing like uh why stuff like this gets said like it i feel like there is kind of a history of like 10 between like Jewish people and black people for not totally for not like clearly understandable reasons like where it's like I remember listening to this kind of a this I think it was like an NPR story or something about this school trip where this like school that was like mostly black kids they basically it was a weird model for a school trip this is back in like the 90s or something they like went ice skating

and then they got taken to see Schindler's list that's a weird combination of things super weird combination you can imagine which one was first it was the ice skating was first you you want to go ice skating after yeah for sure yeah get all the sad energy out after yeah yeah do a triple axle to get over that girl the red coat or whatever yeah but it's like so these kids you know they're they're they're you can imagine like their blood their blood is up or whatever they just been ice skating oh sure yeah yeah and it's like and they they basically make a disturbance during the movie by like laughing and talking oh yeah well they kids yeah yeah they're kids i remember one time i was in a sorry but like speaking of this i was in a church

youth group and his deacon came down and talked to us about uh he i think he was a dentist that like they like you know worked with AIDS patients um like the deacon thing was like you know deacons like a like a like a look a mini priest yeah uh but his day job was being a dentist who like dealt with AIDS patients which was like i guess back then was more rare right right and he was there that was his job he was there talking to us about sex i don't see the course or just not getting AIDS. Yeah. Something.

And we were all just, he was talking about, like he was an older guy, and he was talking about sex. We were all giggling and being stupid. Yeah. And then our, and then the leader of the youth group

just after he left was like, I've never been so disgusted in all my life. You're all slobs. This man came down. This man just great things. He fucking, he fucking saves AIDS patients' teeth. And you're fucking,

you're sitting around laughing because you think, you think it's funny that he's talking about having sex of his wife? I think he mentioned having sex of his wife. But like, And the very banal way, I don't remember how it came up. But I remember thinking, like, laughing and thinking it was like, why would you say it like that? But not, I don't think he meant anything weird.

I think he was just talking about having a normal, healthy sex life. Right. And like, you know, not, whatever, wearing a condom maybe. Yeah. Maybe I don't know. I don't. Well, like, I mean, maybe he's going to get AIDS. Yeah.

I mean, you know. Yeah, I guess if you treat, you know, AIDS patients all day, might make you wear a condom, even in a marriage. Look, I, the point is not to trust your wife. You don't know where she's been Even after you're married So you just want to wear one No, I don't know I mean my point

This is a great man Whose wife cheats on him constantly And you and you embarrass me in there I wish you all were dead Huge group More like ball or shit people Children of shit He was so mad

I felt bad But anyway So they caused this disturbance, and then it somehow became like a national news story where these kids were basically the object of all of this, like, rage from like Jewish people, basically. Sure. And like, you know, it was like unfair because they were kids. And then like Steven Spielberg ended up coming to the school and basically saying like, hey, look, I remember being a kid and like laughing and, you know, it's hard to control yourself as a kid.

Like it was like, but it became this one of the national. I'm going to cut your hands off of you ever do this again. Yeah. Remember E.T. That thing's real. I'm not having to bite your hands. You little brats. You little rat children.

Well, I'm not, I run ambly entertainment, you dumb little brats. But they give them like free pets dispensers or something? Just to smooth it over? Yeah, yeah. Well, he just like, you know, did a Q&A and stuff. And then somebody, somebody theorized that like it may have been his inspiration for Amistad. Because some, some kids. Some kid asked him, like, if you would ever do a movie about slavery or something?

Oh, it's this kid, like, actually turned it on, Spielberg. Yeah, a little bit. Why should you make a movie about slavery? Like, he's like, all right, maybe I will. Like, all right. He laughed where he's like, oh, he won. I have to do it now. That's a decent movie.

Was it Anthony Hopkins played John Quincy Adams? Oh, right? Because he defended them, right? Yeah, in real life, yeah. I mean, technically, I think they are exaggerating in the real movie, he just like prove it like whoever was like they that you don't he they could you can't show receipts but whatever he still he's he still won yeah yeah look he's a lawyer what you want him to do I'm sorry that that's a very 22 response to this he's like oh like you know he

should have used a different tactic he got them off yeah um but good for those kids good for those kids getting over on see for make for making fun of his movie and then getting over on really wasn't what he was planning was it uh you have some other thing here well yeah we're getting to the end but you uh you have some topic here i don't understand the context what uh jack black i just thought it was cute all right well you you have his what is it a tictock originally what are we looking at is a youtube short it's a little youtube short there's a little sick kid and he sang a song from school of rock to him that what is school of rock is that Is that like Kanye school or was that like Trump University?

You never saw School of Rock. Oh. Oh, what was refresh my memory? You know, he's like, plays this guy who got kicked out of his band or something. And then it becomes like a school teacher. Oh, it's Jack Black with those kids. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I thought you were telling me something about like he had some scam going on where he was like teaching disabled kids to play guitar. To be honest, I didn't think we were going to get to this. I'm not sure what the angle on this is. It's just kind of cute. You just think it's cute. We're looking at a picture.

He's got a beard now. I mean, what is it? He looks like Joaquin Phoenix when he was doing that weird scan. What was that documentary he made? I'm not here. Oh, right. Is this a video or is this just a picture? Yeah, it's a video.

How do you play it? This is one of those YouTube shorts. Here's a play button. Okay, let's see what this is all about. What song does he seem? Yeah, me. He's old in his hand. all right this is this is nothing i can't look it's fine he's helping some crippling handicapped kids

he's making them feel good about himself i guess what do you want me to do you want you want me to go like following celebrities around every time they like you know pick up like a disabled boy and they shake him around and they go well look at him look like i mean does jack black walk around the fine kid in the mall to find a kid in the wheel chair and he finds when he picks him up and he goes look at this one you got here what's what's wrong with him and you go oh he's got you know some kind of a nerve disorder and you know oh that's a big boy I'm gonna put you down and then uh he can't lose tussie roll out of his pocket I mean I don't know what is uh why I mean someone's filming him is this is the kind of press op what is Jack Black

doing I think he's probably volunteer hearing it something I don't it like I don't want one of those yellow shirts that I just seems kind of volunteer I thought he's just dressed like Charlie Brown all right well I mean can I look would it be wrong if I pretended to have an ailment to get Jack Black to touch me well could I could I pretend to be a disabled child to get Jack Black I mean is Jack Black that important to you that you would want like that you would be willing to deceive him in that way? I don't know why his kid gets it.

Well, the kid's going to die or something. I could die any day. You know, whatever. I mean, like, do I look like I'm going to live forever? What are we talking about here? Let's press tax. It's take it out with me easily. And then Jack Black's not holding my little hand going,

and this is great. Yeah, I feel like I've been passed over like Fredo. Yeah. What's our plan here? To get Jack Black to. To cuddle you like this? First, we're in a wheelchair. And then some kind of,

maybe, maybe I'll wear, he's wearing, the kids are wearing glasses, but he'll wear some glasses. Maybe you could do the, I think that you would maybe pull off a wounded vet thing. Oh, a little stolen valor for Jack Black.

Yeah. So Jack Black, enjoy this little bit of stolen valor. You know, you could do the whole thing where you put your legs kind of underneath your body and, and you could put some fake

bandages on your knees. Seems very uncomfortable. I'll probably just put a blanket over my legs. That's also a hack, yeah. Now, you beat Jack Black and I'll be, hello, Jack Black. Oh, hello. Now,

I know what's wrong with me? Would you like to, oh, well, I would never ask you about that's personal, but would you like that? I was in the war. Would you like a picture or an autograph? Oh, what war? Korea. Oh, well, thank you for your service.

Thank you very much for your service. You're going to comment how a young I look for Korea? You do look very young, yes. You're really just embarrassing. It would be like an autograph. You're embarrassing yourself right now, Mr. Black. Can you go in? So you don't want him to sing to you or anything.

You just want to confront him. Can you buy me a guitar? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'll buy you a guitar. Thank you. Something like, you know, two grand or more. It has to be over two grand. I mean, you're not doing very well.

Yeah, I always got movies anymore. I just say they're nice guitars for under, under two grand you know is that what you play on stage i sometimes i've i have played guitars for under two grand on stage yeah show me the receipts i can't believe you disgrace a veteran like this embarrass me i just want to make sure you're not like you're trying to pull off some ukulele on me and then you're going to make me you can make me beg for an expensive guitar from you who defends this country you all right look do you want do you want me to go get the guitar or do you just want the money for the guitar go the hell yeah bring me the guitar yeah what is this what am i

doing myself uh you think we get black on the show definitely when we play you know would you would you want to accuse him or something no i would have want to accuse jack black of anything what do we just kind of hate like what are you really doing with the i don't mean anything gross but i mean like what is this what is this what kind of is this what kind of like scam school you're doing what we're accused him about running a fraudulent music school that seems like a fun thing like that seems like something like once once we said we're joking he'd laugh about yeah for sure if we like if we started an online campaign that said he got a fraudulent music school I feel like he'd eventually

laugh about it if we got if we got people to believe it at first yeah and like ruined his career but then but then you know at the end we'd be like we would like release a video and we'd get like you know a thousand views and we go we're just kidding yeah Sorry, Jack Wack. That sounds like a plan. Wow, we went to a dark hole there. It's been fun. So remember, everyone, just be safe out there.

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