Kump - 135 - King Ralph

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss Christmas vs Easter, Ralph Fiennes, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. Are you enjoying this time of winter, solace this era of candy canes and cinnamon of the tree of of life and debt wow the time where we take the mouths of babes and we fill it with the candy of christ oh my god what a what a stunning way of describing this beautiful christmas season easter 2.0 is what i like to call it that's what you

you call christmas i call you know second easter because i on second easter yeah easter is more important if you're raised catholic like i was easter is way more important because all jesus did all christmas is is like some kid being born with the blood of god some kid yeah some you know it's he hasn't done anything yet i mean imagine if i mean christmas is full of dread in my opinion because you have this idea because god at that point has been on even though he's like started civilizations and then wiped them out you know um solomon gomorah had you know because they were all doing incest or so we're like right they were like lots lots daughters were trying to like you know seduce them yeah lots daughters

pulled the pull the fun little prank on their father right got him drunk and had sex with them yes and got and god was like well that wasn't part of my plan so but still he was omnipot he was all knowing but now uh and you also turns of women's salt because um you know because look because she looked back which is bad symbolically you think he said like uh well your eggs are going to taste better because he got salt now i mean look maybe because like like a little catchphrase as he's turning her to salt yeah how about some salt for those eggs bitch um that's um it's i like the idea of god having little catchphrases for what he does we said about there being white right yeah like maybe what he's when he's doing the whole noah's arc

the flood he's like don't hold your breath oh because they're drowning in death he just has like babies drowning to death and he's like i had him build a boat build your own boat god dash god um yeah and uh what else could you've said no no ham that's not as catchy yeah don't eat the ham it's my ham you think i was just going around and already eating all the ham that's why he didn't want the jewish people eating it hmm yeah he would just sneak around like he would just sneak around because he knew how good it was yeah he was just think around eating ham sandwiches all day they actually in the in the biblical times they used to call god the great ham thief the great ham thief and he and if you said to his face he would uh he would send you to abu grave in the future you're coming

in 2006 in iraq motherfucker he's saying all of all of our abu grave prisoners were really just um we're really just biblical time travelers biblical time travels exclusively who called out god for stealing ham sandwiches um yeah but you're god that's fine you can all that is is fair game when you're god but now he's got some you know some pissing and moaning little kid who's who's like you know and he doesn't know what's going to happen he doesn't know if he's going to like you know get himself killed which is what he wants you know like easter's nice he's like yes he did it he got the got those nails in the hands uh i'm you know that's the plan he did it he took that crucifix it's like lebron james like a champ it's like lebron james finally winning his first

NBA finals. It was just like a relief, right? Thank God my son is dead. It's died. But when Jesus is born in the manger, people around the world know that he's going to be the guy who gets the nails in the hands, right? I don't think that. I don't think God told him that part of the plan.

They know that he's going to be this guy, that he's going to be a big guy. To the point where some, what happens? The shepherds see the star and then they come and then they somehow turn into the kings You think you think the shepherds turn into kings like like it's like it's some kind of be dazzled movie Like in Cinderella you think to the you think the shepherds like little mice are being Who's the fairy godmother in the situation? God The god who's like hey shepherds it kings now things of what pay I'm sheep shit get over there

Praise my boy like you're scrambling and I should have had this some kings come over to meet him by my son and he's like shepherds i need you to pretend to be kings what why we all be traveling around together for one enchanted evening wait so we're three different kings of where doesn't matter orientar isn't that how the song goes like we three kings of orient you think it's we three kings of orient car you think wait you think you think now i don't it's not it's not a probably acceptable thing to say anymore but regardless you think the song was we three kings of orient tar i don't know are they selling tar heroin i don't know how lazy the writers they saw bricks of tar we're the king were the kings of heroin the heroin trade the golden triangles are

the kingdom that you're trying to imply about the three wise men no we three kings of orient far See, I thought Oriental was like a fake place in the Bible or something. Oh, you thought there's one word like Orientar? Yeah. Where did you think Orientar was? I don't know. The same next to Lichtenstein? Yeah, it's on.

It's a Cedbula. Nebula. Planet Nebula. You told me if those are aliens? Oh, no. Yeah, maybe. As a kid, did you really think that the three wise men were extraterrestrial? No, but I did think that they came from.

from a made up place. Okay, well, I mean. I thought, I figured that a lot of stuff in the Bible was just made up. I mean, I think it's fair. It's just odd that like, you know, what here was made up, the water into wine,

the, the pillar of salt, the angels. I think the fact there's any place besides, you know, other place as kings. Bullshit. Not just basic geography is what I'm scared.

Right. No, I mean, look, it's quite, I mean, there is no place called the Oregon. So yeah, I think I think people get offended because, uh, you only, you only refer to things as oriental, right? Like rugs. You don't refer to people. Oh, okay. God didn't get that memo. No. God, God wasn't at that meaning. So he's still using the old, old language. Um, but no, they, God didn't turn shepherds into into kings. They were from the east somewhere. China. I don't know, Africa. Why are three kings just traveling together? Are you saying? I'm asking you. I'm asking you, there's three. Like, have you ever heard of like multiple kings with no posse? Just traveling.

No. We're friends because we have so much in common because we're all kings. King, if you decided who you were going to take on your journey, which advisors are you going to take on your journey to see this new God child, you start mapped. you've saw your telescope with constellation or whatever you know by the way I think it's a bad idea I think it's just dumb you know people are people we were having a famine right now like we should really be addressing that I don't think you should be traveling to see some

star baby but if you decide who you which advisors you want to bring he's like yeah I'm gonna bring King King Bob and King Henry what I mean we're just gonna do a king bro trip Don't they have their own kingdoms that to look after? No, that is a great point. Why are kings? Kings don't ever just hang out like that. That they, that I,

look, the closest you get is when like, George Bush and Tony Blair do the Iraq war. Yeah. And they meet up sometimes. And it's like, and Blair's like, trying to tell them about like,

you know, the problems in Fallujah and, and like, Bush is trying to eat like a, figure out how I eat a subway sandwich. And, uh, yeah,

So I don't know what they're doing there. But they get called interchangeably wise men and kings. Were they just doing it in a way when you say like LeBronje, What's up, King? Go off, King. You know, anyway. The shepherds are different, though. The shepherds, well, they're in a manger.

They're. Look, I'm going to school you on the Christmas story. No, but the shepherds had to travel too because they saw some kind of star in the sky. They did not have to travel. You are, you are remembering it wrong. wrong you are missing the point of the whole point is that they had to marry and Joseph the parents of the God had to go to Bethlehem right to go to go get for census because they were going to Rome was going to like do a little what's

gerrymandering redistricting whatever to get the Republicans more seats and so they had to show up in Bethlehem and there was no no more rooms at the end there's where the expression comes rooms at the inn there's no rooms at the end well that part I knew but but that was just some some curmudgeon who owns the right where do they have the baby then the thing what do you think a manger is like oh the shepherds are out in the field what is a where is a manger it's a it's a little a place where the where the goats live or whatever yes yeah that's all the goats and the sheep and which baby but Jesus how are you not connecting the two no look

that part I get but I'm just saying I don't think the shepherds were already there hanging out they were in the field in the field I bet it was at least like a two-hour car ride for the shepherds to get there they look no they they they bring the sheep in they they go out with the sheep and they're eating and they bring them in every night I think oh okay maybe they sleep with the sheep I don't know I thought they were sheep sleeping with their sheep and then this and then this star angel appeared and was like by the way this woman's pushing God out of her pussy right now you got to go check it out may that might be might be right maybe there was a angel I mean with reality it was just some guys

eating he was god eating the ham sandwich going like look over in that manger he's like he's standing he's standing like Barry's just having interactions screaming he's he's eating ham like no one really showed up for this huh would you invite anybody go see my son get born if you see any pigs in there don't touch him he's like oh hold I'll be right back he just goes out you know my man no I'm man shepherd and sheep like yeah yeah yeah go go go look in there some woman's giving birth you can see a pussy and he's like i got watch these sheep they go i'll watch it for you and he just the sheep will go like run away but god was supposed to be watching him but he just didn't his god's god's a prankster

anyway we got we got a long tangent about the the the point is it's a moment of dread because you don't know if he's going to get those nails in him um um But it's a wonderful time. It's a wonderful time of year. It is. Do you, when you were a child, and you were decorating your Christmas tree, did you listen to a lot of Christmas music?

I mean, there would be, there would be like, oh, holy night, the stars are shining brightly, or something. There was jingle bells. Yeah, I mean, I guess it was on. Did you ever hear a song that was like a dial, Because I remember listening.

Dialect. Kind of a dialect. But it was like, but it was, I heard, I also heard like, oh, holy night and stuff on the Christmas music channels or whatever. Channels? Like, well, okay, yeah. But have you, did you ever hear this song? I only heard it once.

Yeah. I was decorating a tree as a kid. But it was like this dialogue. It's the, the lyrics were like this dialogue between Mary and Joseph. No. And Joseph is basically, and it's like a very serious, like, very religious. sounding song but it's like joseph it's basically mary telling joseph that she's pregnant and joseph getting mad at her and accusing her of cheating on him and then her saying like no it's

it's it's god wait wait wait can you find this on google google this isn't i mean this is like i i i wouldn't i don't really know what it's called just google google google Christmas song about with Jerry Moses and Mary and Joseph and Mary. Joseph and Mary. This is insane. So he's just going like, you bitch, you fucking cheat on me. I can't believe you. You're just a sucker.

No, I'm not. No, I'm not. You have some other guys, baby. He's the son of God. I don't believe you're a lying. Oh, stop calling me a whore. Oh, Christmas Ballad, Joseph and Mary were living in Galilee. That could be it.

Who wrote this? This is a bastard baby. Stop calling him that. He can understand you. He's an alien baby. Is that what he said? Is that what the angel said? He's an alien baby?

I don't know. He was confused. he showed up his guy showed up and told me it was having the son of god that he roofied you god song's not net i guess we can't oh let me see yeah let me see if uh okay christmas ballad Joseph and Mary were living in Galilee. When Caesar demanded a census by his decree. Wait, what? We get content IDs for this.

They had to travel to Bethlehem, which was a very long way for them. This is... This song sucks. That's not what it was. We're going to get pulled for that. We'll get the amount of it. We'll get money. um cool uh anyway i i could maybe i'll never find it but

but i remember it that's your memory of christmas is just gee i can't believe you having a bastard i'm raising the bastard merry christmas merry christmas i'm raising the bastard if anyone else knows what song i'm talking about please yeah send it to it crowdsources um we'd love to have the guy do a live show for us yeah we can set that up or big deals kind of not at all um i'm sure he's much more popular than us yeah he probably lives in beverly hills over that one song that was barely known uh anyway it's christmas you know it's trees it's it's it's candy cane um sculptures what can you make out of a can you make anything into a candy cane why don't they do that why don't they have molds they should make meat candy canes

what do you mean meat can't like candy cane meat yeah so it's shaped like a steak no no it's it's steak in the form of a candy cane no i meant can they make any shape into a candy cane like candy cane can't be any shape oh not can they make like a friggin you know uh one of those surgical tools they use on like kids who have leukemia uh like you know in um what am i saying can they turn my son's tumor into a candy cane that's not one but we can do a candy cane in the shape of his tumor is my point you know i almost lost that i got there that one i got confused myself for a second oh so it's kind of like um it's like it's like one of those realistic cakes like where where like the woman's like those tic tacks where the woman serves her husband a plate of

very real looking steak but then he he cuts into it and that's cake oh i I guess so. This would be, like, candy cane. Yeah, I don't, I don't know that it needs to be, like, convincing people. We're not trying, like, you know, gaslight. It's like some kids, like, hey, here, a kid, here's the, we got you a house. Like, you're some poor kid. Yeah.

We didn't have a poor family a house. Here's the keys to your new house. And they go and they go, you bring him a really nice house. And they go put it in the log and cracks. It's like, ah, it's a candy cane. You think we bought you a house? I'm a, I'm a convicted of pet. Hey.

he runs away hey here's some here's some insulin for your grandmother yes it's candy you guys suck you to a point and then shove it in her and the kids out do it it's like he does he's like you like you honestly because the guy's going to make the pedophiles so he's like you yeah it's like you know it's definitely a vacation there too it's gross I'm not trying I don't want this to be made but but the kid gets down to a point and then goes and he goes and he goes the guy is like somehow not who is this guy i'm saying the host of the show i thought that it was going to be i thought you were no it's some convicted pedophile doing this in my in my in my head i haven't i had this like idea maybe that's something um harvey Weinstein could do well it's not a show i'm pitching

you understand it's a show i'm envisioning i'm just i'm like i'm i'm i'm putting on my my my uh sci-fi author hat and i'm just i'm i'm painting a picture of a dystopian future where convicted pedophiles host tv i guess it's not that I know, but this is... This is... It's not really... Or the past, you know? Or the presence. This doesn't have to be in the realm of fantasy, is all I'm saying.

I don't want... This could be a legendary... I mean, O.J. had juiced the prank show... Right. That he had for a while. This could be a Harvey Weinstein vehicle. Well, he's not going to make the pedophile. Cained.

I don't think we can call him a pedophile. I think he's... He lacks enough... He lacks enough moral conscience that he would hurt a child emotionally. Oh, sure. Fair enough. Okay, there is a Venn diagram there, I guess. Yeah. Anyway, my thing was he was going to get done to a point, but even the pedophile wouldn't, like, he goes to putting the grandma, like, I'll do this. And he goes, no, you don't put sugar in her blood.

She's diabetic. Yeah. I feel that was a bigger payoff. I'm like the producer of the show. We thought that would be a bigger payoff with that scene. We ended with like, people hate this. Who are you? My uncles, my uncle's Harvey Weinstein. what are we talking about i don't know i don't know christmas uh show speaking of uh dang i thought you're going to say like i think you're going to say it's like one of those cases

shaped like a dildo oh right and we as i just remembered uh so we we were going to i was going to talk a little bit uh ray fines for a bit uh could we have we've been having kind of a ray find is it ray finds yeah you say you say you say ralph finds i think it's ray finds i mean to be fair it's very much spelled like ralph it's spelled like ralph but uh it's the guy uh he's in a lot of things you know he's the guy played voldermort and uh amongst other things i'm on ghost what you got confused but you're still confused by it what he played the nazi officer among goh among go all right she we'll get that in the minute before we get to that i forgot because you know we could we've been watching a bunch of his movies it started out because we

saw a movie on saturday yeah um and after the movie while we were waiting for our uber we were stuck in the cold and we walked to like you get your keys or whatever point is uh there was a we walked into a sexual bakery yeah or was it like a cookie a cookie store that sold sex objects shaped like cookies yeah no cookie shaped like yeah yes and uh not remarkable i mean we were just in there like i was i was impressed the cookie was a good cookie the cookies were fine but like you go to the counter and it's just a bunch of very uh generic looking dicks yeah generic dicks generic vaginas and there were waffles they were like we'll get the waffle is it we'll get you know and uh and as i said like you know we're waiting for an uber

and it was like you know hey uh what these waffle he's yeah i think one the um like what shape do you want like i don't know the cock he's like he says laughing and it's like you work Like, how is that? I mean, I wasn't saying as a gag. I just like, well, you're on the cock one, I guess. I mean, because that's their vaginas. I mean, that's probably the most casual anyone has ever said it, like, where it's like, probably a lot of the people who go in there are like, probably, it's probably a lot of

bachelorette parties and stuff. Giggling. Where it's like, wait, what I would like, please, please. And you're just like, going to get the cock, well, I can't. I mean, I actually said to the guy, we're like, we're not really here for the gimmick. We just want to get out of the cold. But just much like Mary and Joseph, we're just, coming in from the cold and we just went in and just give me a cogwaffle please I mean

um a couple waters and then he didn't have that so we just need something hot but I said is that going to be a long time he's like well it's going to take like seven minutes I'm like oh he's like this guy just give one of these cookies we had to buy something yeah and uh and so cook we just got cookie with like an icing cap that said fondant like yeah it just said fuck me sludge or something yeah I'm a whore yeah honestly I've never seen a less clever sexual bakery and I haven't seen that many sexual bakeries put in my pussy like I just I just need I just need the I don't I just see I just need to usually I when I imagine a sexual bakery I imagine something that's like a little bit more

clever implied yeah you know things with little cheeky phrases yeah like I just like I'm gonna choke you with my cot or yeah where there's some cheeky phrase if we were doing a sexual bakery what would be like the um what do you what do you think like it would be like uh well it's juji fruits there's a trying to think of what we'd make is uh pock we make pocky you know that japanese treat paki we just called khaki yeah there you go it's one uh it's one beautiful uh brown eye instead of brownie you know because they ain't we have um what music um what's what's mish mission um marza marza pam pam what sounds like a pam um marza pam fucking um marza pam fucking i don't know it's harder

than looks yeah honestly it's tough i wouldn't open a sexual bakery in this economy Doggy style Doggy style Doritos And it's like we're literally Just selling bags of Doritos Like we call them Doggy style Doritos Do we get them from Costco

We just filled like zip lock bags Yeah I mean we just have like a label It says doggy style Doritos And the cool ranch ones are called Covered in semen You want to doggie style derrers Or they're covered in semen

We're going to do like we're going to have like the sexual bakery equivalent of like of like a just a regular like deli that says like organic food market on the facade. Yeah. Yeah, I was just like here's some yeah. Yeah, well you're explaining everything. Here's some cup of noodles. Every deli in like I don't know if it's true everywhere in Brooklyn, every deli says they're gourmet and like you're, you know, if you got potato salad there, it's often covered in like a hard shell. Yeah. Nothing's gourmet and he's gourmet delis.

Right. The best thing you're going to get is like a turkey sandwich that isn't, you know, it's only slightly dry. But, yeah, I mean, what about like an orgasm, orgasm pretzels? These are cute. It's just orgasm pretzels. And, um, uh, tit, titty broth. It's just beef, bros. It's just beef.

I mean, look, people. People do like bro. I mean, at least in the way where we live, there's chops you can go to and just buy broth, but I wouldn't think it'd be like a, they could combine to make it sexual is interesting. Yeah, this is going to just be some goia beef broth.

Oh, it's not like bone marrow broth or anything like that. Oh, it's just some, what's goia beef broth? Does Goya make meat broth? I imagine they might have beef broth. They probably do. They make a lot of stuff.

Goria's a good company. They make a ton of, I mean, I love their red rice and beans. Tremendous. And if somebody complains that is, creative enough i'll just start i'll just start yelling about at them about how good goia is yeah these is this sexy red rice and beans what you don't you you know are you

are you one of the people who uh hates mexican culture um because because you're racist you know here's your here's your um here's your here's your here's your here's your candy condom it's just a condom with like her she's kiss duct tape to it it's just it's just it's just condom with an unwrapped lollipop stuck to it like someone like a hairy licked used lollipop wait so is a condom is a condom like sealed even I imagine the kind of being sealed but the lollipop is disgusting I want I like the idea now that like we're basically I'm having a news crew come in and it's like what is it like you know we'd like to really kind of use our imagination and come over things people you know it's not just about the candy it's

about the experience and the more people marveling in what you've done so what is what is this is this is why i took a lollipop like a blow pop they just unwrapped the condom and he's rolled it like it was thick so you serve it like this he's like yeah well how people eat it like well i guess i can take the condom off but it's got that kind of weird powders and you know it's you know the residue the condoms have it's like right it's not it's not it's not great you think you know lubed condoms So I was like, yeah, shouldn't eat this. It's more about the experience. Anyway, whatever, go support them.

And they need help. I'm not going to give the name of the company. Yeah, I remember the name. But we saw the movie, the menu, right, where Ralph Fines. And he's great. I realize that, like, you know, he's great in it.

The movie's really good. You should, like, you know, I'd recommend it. It's a good satire. It's very fun, very funny. And we've been watching a lot of Ray Fines movies. And I realized, like, earlier in his career, because he was in that movie, Quiz Show, which I watched a kid,

where it's about, like, a bunch of, like, the Geritol company scams people with his show 21. Remember that? And he's in the English pageant, which I didn't see, but everyone seemed to think was great. And he's the Nazi and Chindler's list.

Yeah. And he's also in his movie, made of Manhattan that you were watching right and yeah because after watching the menu I was like I was kind of looking on Roku I was like I was like what else he finds been on yeah and I saw that he was in made of Manhattan which was a movie I watched when I was a kid right I heard of it I knew I knew it existed it's a it's a New York City based Cinderella story about a maid who how is this Cinderella is there a magic is it like the goats or what we're talking about with the with God

No, but it's like, it's like the structure of Cinderella. How? Well, the basic structure of Cinderella is that she starts out as like a lowly servant. Right. She, uh, for one night is disguised basically as this, uh, highfalutin lady. Right. In a beautiful dress. They give her crystal shoes.

Yeah. And, and the rats turn into like, um, like laborers. Yeah. You know, like it's, it's very much like. a painful transformation process it's like basically saying like oh the servants are always rats yeah but you get a special night where you're not a rat no but i'm saying no what i'm saying is like you're the princess but like the people who are actually servants and you because the princess is the idea of the princess is somehow being a servant it never happens but the like when the rats

come to life they're still serving right the rats like the godmother comes and goes like you know you're going to be the princess and you rats who just eat shit all day and get attacked, now you're going to be the people who, like, opened the carriage for her and drive the carriage, right? Right. So she's basically saying, like, in real life, servants are all rats. But whatever. But, yeah, it's a nice story, I guess, from some people. So Maine Manhattan. But, yeah. So who's the wizard in this movie? There's no, I mean, look, there's no magic.

To be fair, I didn't watch the whole. I came in, you were, you were like three quarters through. you were like woken up in the middle of the night and started watching this crazy movie yeah uh and it didn't make any sense to me i mean it was three quarters away through but what who was the wizard no there's no wizard there okay but this basic story of beta manhattan is jennifer lopez plays uh a hot woman who's a maid okay but in the movie the movie would have you think that she's just some some pig I saw a movie like just on porn hub. Who never, like, nobody ever pays attention to. Nobody ever hits on.

I mean, I guarantee, like, if porn hub is anything to be, you know, I'm sure a lot of guys noticed she was hot because, you know, she came out of the bat, she finished cleaning the bathroom when she comes out and this guy's on the couch, you know, with his thing out. Oh, yeah. With his dick. And he's going, hey. And she's like, oh, go, what are you doing?

They're like, oh, it's fine. This is fine. There's a whole series of things on porn hub like that, like the bang bros make, I think. Man, it really is just a, it's a fine line between a romantic comedy and just porn. Well, I mean, no, in this case, it's just, it's more whitewashing. In this case, the porn is probably more realistic. Yeah, because they say, they say that porn distorts, like, young men's view of what's real. Right.

But, like, that's closer to reality than. No, in this one, she, like, she's, like, some guys running for Senate and, like, and he, how does he, is there a trailer for this? bring a trailer up for this movie um before we first because honestly it's making no sense now this movie like it's we'll watch this scene after that okay official trailer okay let's let's take a look at this at manhattan's beresford hotel where the rich and famous can always be seen Mr. Marshall, is it true? You're running for senator.

It was Marissavin. No, this man, this Ray Fines guy. Is he, uh, is he a celebrity, like Trump who's becoming a Senate? Rather, like, why are they following him around? Like, Mr. Moore, like, why is he so... Yeah, he's always being mobbed by paparazzi, which makes sense, because in this movie, Ray Fines plays a famous, uh, state assemblyman. That doesn't exist.

just i i i think if you you could offer people a million dollars uh and and um the chance to be featured in a made deemed porn video and if all they could do is name any assemblyman ever in any state and then no one could i don't that hell sorry if we have any fans who are assembly men or assembly woman but um you know what you're doing that's it's those little scary people in the country because they're just like what are they doing what are they up to someone elected them you know you i feel i filled someone out in the bubble oh you didn't know who you're voting for shut the fuck up cares also this movie does something really weird that a lot of romantic movies from this time do where refine's character is a republican like the announcement

is early on that he's a Republican. Okay. But then whenever he, like, says something he believes, it's, like, redistributing money and, like, environmental regulations. Like, that's traditionally Republican ideas. Yeah, like, he's just a Democrat, but the writer's, like, he's a Republican. He's a Republican, trust me. Yeah, I don't.

I only think it's just Hollywood didn't even know what Republicans do. They just, like, things are bad. They think they're bad Democrats. Yeah. Yeah, they're just, like, rich Democrats. Yeah His job To go unnoticed

A bearer who made his expedient Excuse me That needs pressing A bear should be It stairs with a smile Maria Excuse me What do you think

Filt your coat Ralph Lauren's skirt She's a maid Wait isn't she working in the hotel Yeah So this woman Knows the name of the maid In the hotel

And it's like asking her Like treating her Like You know As her for opinions I'm like How does it even work? uh yeah that's a little contrived also she's like she's a maid but like i guess amy

she's a maid don't ask her but like you just can't change the tone like she's a maid don't ask her like strung her up yeah right well i know fashion like maybe maybe oh yeah oh excuse me and above all the ars who made strives to be invisible i had no idea anyone was here no they do have that oh i guess that is kind of a version see yeah this is where this one got the idea from so so there are those guys there's also there's also charismatic assemblymen yeah who uh famous yeah also these other maids are always dancing right what why are they laughing off sexual assault i i don't know i i think that's because it's funny in this world it's funny he raped me but his

Chicago is so small. I mean, that just seems like totally kind of weird. Also, there's this plot line where Jennifer Lopez wants to become, wants to rise from the position of maid and become like a services manager at the hotel. Right. It's interesting. Which also doesn't seem like that, it would be that well-paying of a job. I mean, probably better than maids, to be fair.

I don't know what maids make yeah um I don't think they usually make the managers to the big hotel right I mean they should they should make let them be the man who cares some idiot you got the kind of people who go to school for hotel management you think they're better than maids that's a good point yes sorry if people are hotel we we love hotel managers we love but when you least expect it His name's Rufus. I thought she steals a dress and then this guy is going to think. Yeah.

What do you know? You're running for Senator? I love this kid. Fate and open. That's weird. What I'm talking about? Hi, don't he? Hello?

Hi. This is crazy. Honestly, this is the weirdest trailer. This is a whole scene in the movie, the trailer. One thing that struck me through the whole movie was that Ray finds is way too much of a weirdo, like, for this kind of movie. No, he's good at being like. And it always shows throughout the movie. he's good at being like the guy named bruges who's like you know you're an anonymous fucking

or like you know like the mob boss guy he's like he's probably good old i didn't watch the baltimore movies i didn't watch the baltimore movies like i kind of see why they cast him in this because he is very attractive at this age his accent's like hello i'm american citizen but everything about him is weird hi i'm running for senate and like kind of off-putting and intimidating i was born in new york city allow i mean he's He's a great actor, but he's like, just like me, he can't really nail accents or impressions. I wonder if this was before or after Schindler's list.

I'm not sure. Oh, I mean, he's writing that Schindler's list coat. What do you call him? Amuse Bouch? A Moose Boucher. He's writing a co-ta. Infamous murder, mass murderer. Yeah.

A moose boosh. Giant gray dog, I want to go walk with them, okay? Come with us. If your husband wouldn't mind. If your husband wasn't mine. He sounds like, who is he sounds like, he sounds like fucking like, like half of wearing a Hurtzog

if your husband wasn't mine he sounds like some guy of 1920s like like freaking weird like gangster who's played by like a Lithuanian like fucking immigrant hello he sounds like Hanbal lecture who talks like this in America

love your suit I was born in Dave Ohio I wonder if anyone's made a trailer mash up using the footage of of Among Goth and Helen Ursch in Schindler's list, but remixing it so that it's like made in Manhattan. No one else knows the senior talking about. You were talking about this during the movie.

You were a moan, you like, he played, isn't it funny? He played a moan ghost. And I'm like, what are you talking? You want him for five minutes. You were like, I'm like, he played, because I thought, I thought the guy, like, he played, I thought you were saying like, like, Moan Goat was a famous family.

He played one of the Moan Goats. I know a moan goes How do you remember the name of the Nazi And Schindler's list He was mean to the maid Well he was a big part of the movie You what do you like How often do you watch Shindler's list

Is it infamous murderer? And also like the movie is based on On real event You I know that's a controversial statement nowadays Amaf Eichmann's like the big one People talk about And like I don't think

I mean what You know I don't know I'm only That's a deep pole with my point I don't even think Israeli people like no in the name of I think a lot of people who have seen Schindler's list distinctly remember this dynamic

because it's so, uh, it's so, uh, chilling. I bet you like, like Mossad never heard of them. Like they got, you know, we've never got Ikemen. We don't need a moan goat. He just, oh, another Nazi? Oh, we heard a maid. All right. Well, that's, he killed the maid.

No, she survived. All right. Well, we have a lot of our plate here. You know, we got a lot of our plate here. You know, we got a lot of get six million dead, despite what Kanye Westwood, have you think. and so we're dealing with some of those cases not this guy who yelled at his maid or whatever I mean that's sad sorry for the maid

we're all we're all dealing with a with a big a lot of baggage here I was saying there's a maid in this there's a maid in Schindler's list do you think the maid shows up to like holocaust conventions and like she's sitting there next to people

who like you know were in kind of like was the maid in a concentration camp um I think for a time Oh, I feel. Okay. Oh, so she actually goes to a concentration camp. Yeah, I think, I think that there is, she had this kind of precarious ticket out of like the, quote unquote, worst of it because she became this guy's housekeeper and survived somehow, even though he was like very cruel to her.

I'm not saying she didn't have a bad time of it. Yeah. And if she was in a concentration camp, that's horrible. I'm not saying people who survived concentration camps, to be clear. I am not saying people survive concentration camps are not entitled to, like, feel like victims. I'm not making it. I'm just, I was taking issue with your,

which you remember just cherry picking names of, like, Nazi guys because he was being to a maid once. But now I realize people might interpret that as like, you know, oh, so she wasn't killed? Get out of here. Look, I just like, I'm, I wasn't trying to make some grand statement about who is the bigger Holocaust guy.

Why are we doing this? I just, I just, uh, I just like trailer mashups and I think this would make a good one. It would be a good one. Uh, I agree. So, um, let me bring us back up. I still don't keep talking about the Holocaust and this kid's face on the thing. Close. So now they're, now, because it's assemblymen's dating, uh, they don't even know she's a

media, the paparazzi are going crazy because the assemblyman has a girlfriend. Yeah. And you know how the press just loses their shit when an assembly man's personal life, you know, he's dating and stuff. But I'm not Google. The press will not leave you alone when you're a state assemblyman. Most famous state assemblymen. Google will come up with like a four or four or probably.

Assemblymen of all time. Of all time. I want to use the biggest one. I got Carl E. Hestey. I got Harry Bronson. I got I mean, nothing's coming up. Nothing you understand what I'm saying.

Famous assembly, man. Nothing's compute. It's just showing me assembly, man. There is no state assembly. Yeah, Carl Hestey, yeah. Ten. That's it. It's Carl Hesty and is Harry Bronson.

Does it say why Carl Hesdy is the most famous assembly men? He's the hundred speaker of the New York State Assembly. So I think he's just a current speaker. That's how little Google understands what I'm trying to ask it. Like fame? What do you mean famous? Like this guy's the speaker, that's best kind of that's more famous than the others, right? It's a kind of?

We don't know. But this guy, but the New York Post can't get enough of this guy. Look at this guy. Look at this murdering face. Sometimes I feel like I live there. The girl that was invisible. Who's this? I'll tell you who she isn't like anyone I've met before and she isn't a phony.

Who are you running around with? He's the queen of England. I'm surrounded by yes men. Like, no, you're not. You only have your own office. You share the office with three other assemblymen probably. You eat lunch at the deli every day. Some of the best scenes in this movie are.

when they're talking or scenes where they try to have J-Lo and Ralph Fein. Ralph Fines talk about politics. Right. So like this, like, Fines is like saying like, oh yeah, I'm going to this fundraiser. It's $2,500 a plate to, you know, raise money for inner city schools. Yeah. And J-Lo's like, and she's supposed to be like the real working class woman like telling it like it is. She's like, she's like, why don't they just pay less for the dinner and give the money directly to the kids?

And it's like, that is what a fundraising dinner is. No, we're giving the money to the kid. Like, yeah, we're not. The dinner isn't worth $2,500. Yeah. You don't even, you don't understand, like, the nature of profit and, like, what, no, I don't, yeah, look, I mean, it doesn't make any. I'm sure there is some point there, like, there might be a point where it's like,

look, if you, would you pay, like, you know, you, I mean, what do you pay for, like, a party? Like, $400, a few hundred dollars a plate? you go over catering hall like a party they say we'll go planning a wedding and people have a little scenarios and we're trying to tell them to the hell but like you know average like for a nice thing is like 400 a plate right

well if you include all the entertainment and stuff like not like the catering hole right so like let's just say it's $500 a plate and they're charging $25 grand a pop that's a lot profit to go to the poor yeah she wants an extra 500 just get that maybe they can use that to buy a bipod

an iPad or an iPad pro perhaps and they can and they can play angry birds what's this bitch talking about this could be bad oh don't tell me you fool for the guy it's complicated this is the most good this is so dumb the movie's bad um but there's this uh scene that we were that you originally were brought up uh let's see we'll turn this up make this ladder please you have the option up here why just clip so low yeah where that room oh well I'll make it louder here okay go ahead you have to be no I just have to leave I don't think you're leaving I think you're running

and what I can't figure out is are you running towards something you want are you running away from something you're afraid to want what the fuck is that what are you What more time? I don't think you're leaving. I think you're running. And what I can't figure out is, are you running towards something you want? Are you running away from something you're afraid to want?

This is the most, this guy is like a bad spy. This guy is like a guy who's like, he's a guy who's actually, he speaks like this anomaly. Or like he's like he's Russian. This is like a bad Russian agent. Like this is not, this sounds nothing anyone who's ever even lived in America sounds like. Yeah.

I don't know what this is supposed to be. I don't know what Ray. Ray, Ralph finds vision of Americans is frightening. Yeah. It might be one of the best, one of the strangest castings in a romantic comedy I've ever seen. I mean, do you think they said that's,

I mean, I guess you kind of made this joke before, but you think they sat there and said like, they watched the, the Shindler's List and was like, can we get that guy for a film? The sharp-looking Nazi? They look good in the Shudl's List?

Uh, I, Bring a picture of him up. Let's see. My mustache keeps getting on my nose. I got my mustache. Schindler's Liz in general just has a dismal feel to it. Well, it's a bit of a slog, as they say.

It's not exactly, it's no frosty snowman. Let's see, where it is. Here he is. Okay. Yeah, look, he's a good-looking guy. Bring him at home. make one of these like click this oh they put him in the middle hold on hold on just leave it leave that's him yeah look I mean you would you would you would you wouldn't sit there and go he's ugly

you go look look how many people he's killed yeah but you wouldn't kick him out well you might kick him out of bed for that the actor not the person no I'm saying look if you saw this and this like we're assuming we know he's not actually um um a moose bush but you know he's not the real amuzboosh but he's a guy and but I'm saying you might kick him out of bed for being a Nazi and killing people but not because his face was ugly well I mean look that's this this is the actual

guy oh he's got he's no he's not very yeah they're never as tight as the actor playing them no that's true they really why did why did I mean Steven Spielberg's not a Nazi sympathizer I wouldn't say that right he made

Chindler's list popular it should lose was very much popularized that the Holocaust was bad I'm not saying the first thing to do it but it very much much like the movie JFK which also was kind of pertinent now I guess

much like JFK in 1991 the Oliver Stone film which kind of reignited the Kennedy assassination story Shibbler's list kind of was like you guys know you guys probably forgot about this but there was a holocaust and there was a big holl

much like in Jurassic Park you know 94 there was like a lot of merch you remember that from Shindler's list i had a shingles list lunchbox wait wait yeah wait really yeah you you have those lunchboxes this a kid like different shows or whatever you know i had one point i had alf one i have super maria bro's lunchbox i honestly i i feel like you're probably fucking with me but i honestly can't tell completely that's how good of an actor i am yeah you're right of course it's

not real you are good i should i should be in films i don't know what kind of films it would be Films where I'm just bragging to have the Shillard of those lunchbox. I can be filmed by the FBI. Surveiled. I could say I have a Shindler's in the Luschevog. And it wouldn't be in a, you know,

and, well, God, what was that thing called? I don't know. The Hobocross? And it wouldn't even be a blip on the lie detector. It wouldn't be a blip on the lie detector. I don't know what analogy you're trying to, you're trying to dig for here.

I just went from me being a good actor in your scenario. Like, you know, I go, I'm on James Lipton, who's R-A-P, inside the actor's studio. And usually people are very humble on that show, but I'm saying to him, it's good that you finally have me on, James, and thank you, because I am a great actor. In fact, I'm such a good actor. I can tell you right now that has Shindler's List Lunchbox. And it wouldn't even be a blip on the, on the light of the actor. I think what?

What does that mean? I think that should be a common phrase for when someone's a really good actor. This guy, this guy, it's such an awkward phrase because every time you use it, you like, go, like, like, like, give me a movie. Titanic. Leon DeCaprio is such a good actor. In the film, that if he told you he was a young man who was on the Titanic, it wouldn't even be a blip on the radar on the light of texture. You have to kind of like, you have to include his part in the analogy,

but in a really weird, like unnatural, like a indirect way. Like, you know, Sam Neal is such a good actor. If he told you he was a paleontologist, it wouldn't be a blip on him from a lie detector. No, I think it only works as a phrase if it's always them pretending that they had a Schindler's list lunchbox. That's a good, so it would be like, it would be like Robert De Niro is such a good actor. He could tell you that he had a Schindler's list lunchbox. It wouldn't even be a close on the lie detector. So it's just, okay, interesting.

So it's just, yeah. Yeah. That's, you're crazy. I know I'm crazy. Like, break a leg. You always say break a leg. It doesn't, it's not dependent. on what the person's doing.

You don't say, like, break a dinosaur to Sam Neal. I know, I'm not saying it's, like, all about brevity. It's not the only thing, but it's three words. Break a leg. Nah, you're, not, as a, if this guy told you, he had a schindler's, lunchbox, it wouldn't even be a blip on the line. That's so many words for any, like, no one's, like, there's, like, is there anything you can think of it has to have any words?

Any expression, uh, analogy, like idiom, like, you know. No, I can't, but I think that's what's going to make it stand out. Sure. It sounds like the translation of like some Chinese proverbs, like, you know, whatever, like that, like, by a bad translator, even. Or like a Russian, like thing, like, oh, we don't have word for a man who steals cheese from a child. So that's why the. Now, what will make it sometimes make it confusing. I think it's a pretty straightforward phrase, but, but what will sometimes make it confusing is if,

you're applying it to people who have been in Schindler's list. Okay, so. So if you say, like, Liam Neeson is such a good actor. He told you a Schindler's List on Xbox. It wouldn't even be a blip on the lie detector. People might go, wait, you mean because he was in Schindler's list? And then you have to say no. No, it's just an analogy.

Just because he's really good. Right. Yeah. Does he have a Schindler's? Does someone make that for him at a Holocaust convention, hand it to him? No, no, no. Are there Holocaust conventions? Convention.

Well, look, there's like, you laugh. And, but there's like, there are, like, A.A. conventions, right? And the comics will work them, right? Sometimes. I know that. And, like, that's not, that's not the same as Comic-Con. I know, you're thinking Comic-Con. But it's not, I mean, it's Comic-Con, right?

And there's, like, probably conventions for, like, Al-Anon, even, or survivors of whatever. Victi. So, it's not crazy to me that there would be a convention of Holocaust victims. And they would get entertainment for them. And, like, why not? the guy who played a moose bush or Liam Neeson wait wait you're saying you're saying you're saying the guys who have played Nazis and famous movies would come and provide entertainment in what form they would do magic tricks for no you would have him speak a guest speaker and

he would talk it doesn't what could they tell why do i why do i look if i'm a comic con attendee why do I what what's the guy who played the doctor the hologram doctor in deep space nine going to do for me give me a hand job I mean what we're talking about like is he going to play like do scenes in the show people go and meet them they want to right they like that I don't like I don't go to the conventions I don't go to comic con people who go to star trek conventions go because they love star trek so of course I want to hear from star trek actors okay people who people who would go to Holocaust survivor conventions aren't going because they're huge fans of Ray Fines. They're going because they survive the mutual trauma.

No, look, sure, but you want, you need things. It can't all just be, and then they put me in this, or the concentration camp. And then they didn't feed me for this many days. And then they killed this many members of my family. I mean, even though that's what, like, you're there for, you need a little, hey, all right, let's put a pin in that. We're going to meet up back at 3 o'clock to continue this session of a group, whatever, group dialogue. And again, I don't know if this exists at all, but I don't think it's crazy.

But, you know, but we have to get over because the guy who played the Amuzboosh Nazi killer guy, he's going to do a little Q&A. And it's going to be nice. And he was in Schindler's list. Nice. Yeah, I mean, I think people respect Schindler's list. I think Holocaust victims are happy. It got made, probably. Yeah.

I don't think I'm crazy here. I know I took a leap of faith saying it, but I think it's very possible that everything I'm saying is totally true or totally possible. Like, what are you going to get? You're going to get some like the guy, like Eli Weisel every year to like to speak, you know, about his book night. It's a good, I mean, he's a good get, but you don't get him every year.

Sometimes you have people, look, you run a convention. People who run, if you organize anything, you need to get people to come, right? And so you need to keep it interesting. And it's like, not everything is actually. that good sometimes it's just about the spectacle it's about the flyer that goes out in the mail and you go oh ray fine and he's a good-looking man you know and like yeah he played a nazi in this movie that's important right i i think it's very possible is there any ways if you two doesn't have a problem with this oh okay okay i would like for there to be

I would love for somebody to get the name, the Amuse Bush killer. I mean, unrelated. Well, I think that probably go, you know, another role he just did. Oh, yeah. I don't really go into detail, but again, we're not being a sponsor, but we just, I rarely see movies anymore that I'm actually like that of that good in the theater. Yeah, the menu was good. The menu is very good.

I liked it. He was great in it. He was great. He's also great in Schindler's list, apparently. In Bruges, in Bruges, he's very good. The Grand Budapest Hotel? Grand Brupest Hotel. Carlita was the movie with the Coen brothers

Hail Caesar Yeah Whatever What is this? What is this podcast for the coming? Rick Binds are You know what I mean? You know what's another movie Rick Fides was in?

Fucking Red Dragon We actually watched Red Dragon last night That movie's pretty bad That movie's like it's honestly It's kind of it's entertaining enough as a thriller But like there are some really stupid moments Yeah um phil's super hoffin just like

just on a wheelchair on fire he got duct tape to a wheelchair and he glued him to a wheelchair and he glued him to a wheelchair set him on fire and like and just put him barreling down a hill which means that he must have been

right at the top of the hill to push him and like as the best part of that seat is that like Philip Seymour offman on fire he's not really even in the center of the frame enough that you can really tell what's going on right it's not until like the wheelchair like roll finish finishes rolling they're like oh i guess that was phillipsy more often right i guess he

was burning to death yeah uh someone's gonna catch this killer oh yeah uh we didn't get to it today but i guess we'll talk about it in the patreon so yeah you know i guess it's a good segue if you if you like the show and you want to hear more of it you get an extra episode every week uh if you sign up for our patreon for only five bucks a month and you know we were off last week because Lucy got, you were sick and we thought we were going to push a couple of days and end up, you know, just becoming, you know, whatever. And we didn't do an episode last weekend. We did do one for the Patreon.

We don't, you know, no offense to people who don't, but, you know, the point is you don't, you pay the five bucks you don't get, we don't let you get ripped off. That's all I'm saying. I'm not trying to gate keep. You pay the $5, we won't allow you to get ripped off by us. Anyway, so, we'll talk. talk about this Kennedy assassination stuff on that um not trying to gate keep paygate content

or anything is just we talked too long about refunds yeah all right uh thanks so much for tuning in have a great have a happy holiday merry christmas merry christmas Thank you.