Kump - 148 - Fear The Banana Man

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Ray and Lucie discuss Ja Morant, a fake abduction, a stolen banana, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Today on Kump, we have fake abductions, superweapons, and a story about bananas. Stay tuned. Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. How are you? I'm pretty good.

Nice sweater. It's a hoodie, but thanks. Nice hoodie. You just typically call people in hoodies wearing sweaters? Yeah. Honestly, I don't think in my mind I made much of a distinction between hoodies and sweaters. Sounds like white privilege to me. Now, thank you.

I procured this hoodie on a business trip I took to the city of Angulus. Angulus never heard of that one What's the city of angels I like to put my flare on it Oh yeah that's nice The city of Angelus It does seem like a colorful Los Angeles is what I was referring to

I guess you were confused Yeah this seems like I had a business trip in L.A I was trying to scab During the writer's strike I was turned away What you tried to scab I show up at Netflix at Hulu I said I'll write I have these ideas

What kind of ideas did you pitch them I, a movie about a man who keeps trying to eat rocks and just chokes to death. There's a metaphor for COVID. And then there was another one where another man, it's all men. None of these passed a Bechdel test. Another man shoots himself on the front lawn of a house. But it's not like my life because it was no one, he didn't know other people. He just did, but he's in a, it's a mystery about that.

Why did this man do it? He's didn't, he's, he's bored. Just felt like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what does it mean? The sleigh is like, just, there. He just did it.

God, I don't know how the, how the writers are going to, how the Writers Guild is going to survive with people like you out there, uh, poaching our jobs. Well, it's, it's, it's, uh, so far so good for you, writers guilders. because I was turned away by force I was escorted out of multiple buildings and I did but you know even though I was wearing this colorful shirt which I procured

at a lovely Los Angeles boutique at the place I believe Anzel Algoort and Andrew Garfield frequent called DXL have you heard of this a lovely boutique It's French right? Yeah I think it's I think it's pronounced Dixel Dixel

Dixel Yeah, so it's that. But it was not a very fruitful trip. I lost my map. People might be wondering why I have this Memphis Grizzlies hat not there. I lost it on the plane because I was so, I was trying to sleep on the plane on the red eye back. And I took my hat off and it's gone.

Which is fortuitous, I guess, because our friend, our confidant, a man we don't know. John Morant is back in the news. Really? You haven't heard about this? No, I haven't. I think we still have it on our media thing.

Is it still come up if I hit? I don't know what button hit. We hit if you won? Yeah, there is. There's John Moranth. We had him featured because he was dancing with his little gun. And I'll get back to me. The longer, the more time goes by, the cuter it looks.

It's a little gun. It's in the, you know, I advise him, hey, get a bigger gun. and he's back in the news for dancing again with a gun this time with maybe a slightly bigger gun oh okay he didn't think my advice though well it's not big enough he should get like a like a like a like a big Tommy gun you know think of all the dancing you could do John Morant with a Tommy gun John Morant is a basketball player for those who are not sports fans Memphis Grizzlies That's the hat I was wearing before I lost it. And now he's suspended, I guess, in death.

I mean, they were done playing for the year anyway. They were out of the playoffs. So I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, now it's got me thinking, am I missing out? Am I, are we not, is dancing with a gun, like the most fun thing you can do? I'm sure it's, I'm sure it's at the top of the list. Because this guy, I mean, see if you can bring it up real quick. this guy is a multi-multimillionaire.

He plays basketball when you're him. Like when I play basketball, it's not fun because I'm wheezing and they can't shoot. And I don't know what the rules and they hit people. Best case, I hit someone. Best case, like I'm fast enough to hit somebody. Because, you know, you think I got hit LeBron James or Steph Curry? No, they would, I'm not even fast enough to hit them. But, you know, but when he plays basketball, it's, he's just shooting a.

basket he's weaving and dodging doing it's got me the most fun thing and yet uh you know what he loves to do more than anything else is dance with a gun well this time he is in a car with a gun so it's kind of a it's kind of a play here we go yeah let's play that clip was uh oh but he is dancing in the car yeah he was just uh someone's you make that full screen You can't find it on you. YouTube is populated with people commentating on these things. You can never find the original clip, but we'll just have this guy's thing featured, I guess.

It's not coming up. I don't know. Never mind. Well, trust us. There's a man with a gun. Is that, is that it? Okay, let's try it now. There he is.

So he's just, that's him dancing in the car. He's just having a time of his life, jumping around I haven't seen the gun yet They listen to rap music probably Of some sort Yeah no First time I watched it

I didn't even see the gun These people have it So out for this guy They're I mean They're catching the gun Like they're like sleuths They're looking for guns everywhere They're rats

Yeah Who are these rats Yeah like who are these Goody two shoes Who don't think that John Moran should be able to dance With a gun in his free time I they really

They really burn my ass This is probably the most It has to be one of the more peaceful uses of the right to bear arms. Just having a nice little dance party. I agree. I mean, like, you know, with all the things that happen with guns, why is this thing? Why is nothing in our studio work?

Anyway, my buttons are all gone now. We'll be fine. With all the different things that can be done with guns. Dancing seems like a night. I mean, like I imagine, so should we do this at our wedding? is my point. We're getting married soon. Should we get should I get a gun for the wedding? Should I get a gun? And then like during our first dance, I'm just waving this gun around. Maybe you can

have one too. We're just, what's going to be our first dance song? Um, because we, you know, I mean, everyone knows what I wanted. I was vetoed. It's fine. You know, men don't get what they want in this world. But you were partially vetoed. Whatever. What's the first dance song? Do we decided? I don't know if we officially decided yet. We didn't start the fire by Billy Joel. That's my second option. We're dancing that we didn't start the fire.

You know, Doris Derry, Ballet Day, Barry Lyndon's A-OK, whatever, however it goes. And I got, like, I think that's got a Glock. We're like, we're like, those ones that have to sell, like those guns that have a sidebar that you hold. What you shoot? Oh, right, yeah. Imagine that. I'm just shooting into the tent. That could be a lot of fun.

Shooting up through the tent. Yeah, making holes. Make a skylight in this. mother in his mother you know uh yeah so job moran who knows what's gonna happen i mean best worst case scenario he gets kicked out of the league you just have more time to play with dance of the gun i have to say i admire that it's like in neither of these videos he's not really trying to like look like tough really yeah it's like he's just really happy to be playing with a gun he's just thrilled yeah he's just this is the this is just like a kid playing with a box yeah you know

when you give a kid like a tonka truck and he just takes the box and he pretends he's a space man that's John Morant with his gun people keep saying he's trying to act look tough oh you try all these NBA players are out there going like oh you try to look tough you try you you rep like this on the street people are going to test you like who smiles like this I watched five seasons of the wire no one looked that happy what are they talking about boys in the hood any of these movies these these uh what these these these tails what they call those tales for both you know not for boating tails but uh oh cautionary tales cautionary tales none of them have a smiling man with a gun yeah that's right i call bunk on that oh kids gonna emulate him

well maybe they'll learn to be happy with their guns to have shooting places they shouldn't shoot yeah you know i don't know if he's necessarily extra exercising optimal gun safety in these but but he doesn't seem to be like you know he does I don't think he's threatening anybody how you wait wait wait a whole of a sudden you're a gun expert you know you know when the safety's off or not you think you get the safety off um I don't know that would be reckless about it would be reckless to take the safety off just to dance I feel like no matter what dangling it so that it's pointing down it's probably not the best like you know it's probably not best to like be holding it like wasn't pointing that person that's true you know that's true

That's rule one. I think one time I had a friend whose aunt was a cop and she let us hold the gun. Really? Yeah, then she told us it was unloaded. And so I just kind of was holding it. I pointed out my brother or my friend, I forget. And she got very upset. And I was like, well, you said it was unloaded.

Well, wait, what's the deal here? Well, what if I'm lying? Yeah. Oh, are you doing riddles? Is the cop playing riddles with the gun? It would be great if it, like, she had actually planned that as the lesson. It's like, she was going to be like, I'm going to give these kids a loaded gun and tell them it's unloaded to teach them a lesson about how you always check if it's loaded.

Wow. I came this close to being a real, a real tough guy. A real, imagine that? I mentioned, you know, I killed him at once. You're like, really? He's like, yeah, it's my brother. The accident. Shut, I'm a good.

This cop tricked me. That would have been a great story. Do you think toddlers who act, because, you know, when I was, they always used to, I don't know if they're really around anymore, but I was, I was popular. Yes, they should have guns. I always used to see those PSAs where it's like a toddler finds their parents gun in a box. Yeah. And points it at another little kid. Right. Or something.

Well, there was an HBO film. I wonder if those kids do become, like, hardened criminals after that. I mean, you might as well. You might as well, like, you know, it's like you, you come with the one, you come to the dance. You dance with the one who brings. you right that's the weird saying about like you still you have to dance with the ugly girl even though the hot girl wants to do because you the ugly girl brought you is that what that means I think so and also guys I think it applies to yeah like just

just because just because someone who's not in a wheelchair asked you to dance doesn't mean you can go gallivanting off with her you know you stick with the egg I wonder if that would hold up under the new you know principles about consent that are in the culture like maybe you shouldn't have to dance with the one that brought you yeah it really seems like hey i asked you what when you get off going i asked you to do a dance what are you doing talking to some other guy oh just just because some girl in a wheelchair brought you to a dance that means you owe her now you're going to make a fool out of me let's see what happens next you know yeah you're right it's not very progressive is it it's the implication

dance with whoever but with a gun I mean, that's all I can think about it, though. Dancing with a gun. I mean, who in your family, would your family be okay with that? You dancing with a gun? Yeah. Probably not. They probably wouldn't want you to do that.

Even the people amongst them who maybe are sympathetic to the, to the nature of guns. To the gun men. The gunmen. Yeah. The gunmen. I call those, that's what I call gun rights supporters. Okay.

Not the gunmen, the gun men. The gun men. I like that. I represent a subset of the gun hands men. But, you know. Your interests don't always align, but a lot of the time they do. What if I, you know, take a cue from our friend Arbor Dwyer? I scream at, stand back, just going to hurt somebody.

We didn't start the fire. Woo! Oh, man. So, drive a rant. If it doesn't work out for him, we're going to have him on the show. That's my plan. I think if he gets kicked out of the NBA, which I don't think will happen.

He's a very popular boy. I just want to have him on so we can just sincerely ask him, like, what is it about the gun that makes you so happy? Like, what is, like, what? I feel silly asking that because it's obvious. It's a gun. It's a gun. It's so great.

What's better than a gun? Oh, man. Kids love candy. That's only because they don't have guns. Anyway. And even they, don't they have little candy guns? kids are dumb yeah but no they do i had toy guns i had candy guns i had like toy guns you you pulled a k-47 it was like a blue plastic AK-47 and you pull the thing back and loved it can't tell you

much i loved it match it was real wow so we got a lot of fun stuff today don't we uh what is going what it was i i read this in the intro uh about fake abduction this is a story that Lucy brought. I thought this was an interesting one. A girl basically faked her own abduction to hide the fact that she had dropped out of college

from her parents. This is interesting. I don't think it's been going on. I think our device is on the fritz. So, you know, we don't have to have it on the screen. This is not, what is this? The multimedia hour, right, come to gun guy. No. This is a show.

It's an audio podcast. With video elements, we don't, we'll just, we'll just teach us to you through words. Woman charged with faking her own abduction to hide fact that she dropped out of college, state police say. Interesting. She was going to Reese's. Do you know if Reese's Pieces? Do you know if Reese is a good school? I've never heard of it.

So I assume it's great. I assume, no offense anyone who went to Reese's, but it's not, it's not a real school. She dropped out of like a scam Anyway Oh wait, it's in Pennsylvania I mean it's got to be related Because Hershey's from Pennsylvania I don't know if it's that Reese's

I'm gonna look Reese's was it is it Rees University Yeah it's R EESE I guess that is how Reese's and Reese's pieces It is I mean you're about to look silly Who's the Reese behind Reese's pieces Uh he you're right He probably did bite it off

he probably strong-armed his way to owning Reese's University. Wait, wait, welcome to Reese's University. And it's kind of literally got, it's Hersheyland. Wait, what is this? All right, wait. What time for our thing that door? Hold on. Let's just, we can put this up.

Hold on. Google that. We'll just, Google, Google, Google Reese's University. what mascot the fighting copies oh my god just go to images jesus look at look at that oh my god that is reese's university you thought i was silly they literally are the rhesus peanut brother cup school this is where this girl was she fake or death abjection a fake she faked she faked fit like a kidnapping what is going on at the university of peanut butter cups what has happened

here if you can even a little bit fake your own kidnapping i feel like you should be able to even for even for a short period of time you should be able to get in somewhere that isn't reasons yeah if you have that ingenuity just to let's let's what's happening here a 23 year old pennsylvania woman little old to be going to college but by the way scroll up scroll up back scroll back I was like, go back to, oh. This is the picture, by the way. Reese's University. I mean, it's orange, like a peanut brother cup,

but they try to make it look like it's like a real school with that crest. Mm. A 23-year-old Pennsylvania woman allegedly faked her own abduction. That's really old for a college student. Yeah. I mean, like, either she's like, you know, took a gap year or two, or she's like a master's program in Reese's.

Like, I mean, I mean, I kind of, get like dropping out like oh i i screwed up college because of your first year you got really drunk maybe your second year you got sexually opened up in a good way you know like i you discovered your uh you you got ran through in a liberating way yeah you became you stopped being an ugly duckling you know and like oh now now it's time for me to shine but by you know year three or four let alone 23 i mean you should you should be graduated by 21 typically right i'm not saying i did i'm just saying yeah yeah i mean that's when i graduate i think that's normal but like you know 17 18 18 when you go, when you're 21, maybe 23.

What is this? Anyway, let's, sorry, let's keep going. A 23-year-old woman allegedly faked her own abduction earlier this week in a far-fetched effort to hide the fact that she dropped out of college and wasn't about to graduate. Chloe Stein, 23, was arrested Tuesday evening. Oh, okay, so she was about to grow. Like, she was supposed to be like, I get it.

I've been there. It's like, I mean, I don't know if she's hiding the tree. transcripts but she must have been like playing the long con no daddy i'm doing really good in astronomy class i know all the planets and she's just lying right she's failing and like they're just bad parents don't look at the you know the college transcripts just keep dumping money at her and it's like and now it's like in this story freshman year so she's got she's got a total of like eight credits all over a p.e and she's like ah this is i can't get this can't give you basically like oh you're graduating a semester right uh-oh

Jig is up. Let's fake a kidnapping. Stein was last heard from Monday evening at 10.30 p.m. Her boyfriend tried to contact her again numerous times, but to no avail, police said. State police later heard from her family who said they found her vehicle, a Volkswagen Beetle, abandoned on Radbar Road

in the area of North Greengate Road. It was at that time that the family made a missing person declaration and an expansive search for Stein was launched. She left her. Her whole plan was leaving her car on the road. I mean, I don't know if your logic holds anymore. Then she should be able to get into Harvard because she,

I feel like this should get her into at least, you know, Binghamton. You think leaving your car? Wait, look, it's one thing if she has like, if she faked,

if she fake like a hostage call, if she sends a letter with like, again, none of this is that. impressive but like you know cut out magazine letters did that whole gimmick but you literally like i left my car on the side of the road yeah but hey hey hey hey i know i know my math scores aren't you know amazing but i did leave my turst like toyota tersel those still mean my toyola carola on the side of a ditch so how about you let me in i would respect if i was the binghamton

admissions officer i would respect the minimalism of that i would probably want to know i would probably want to know if she had maybe like messed the car up a little bit or left a door open to make it seem like there was some kind of struggle. I mean, let's play this out. All right. Hi, Ms. Steiner? Yeah, Chloe Stein. Her name is Stein?

Yeah. Oh, I was, okay, Ms. Stein. I was going to call, I was making you the person, but that's fine. Miss Chloe Stein. Hi. I'm looking at your transcripts here for Binghamton, which, uh, university, which, you know, you've also written, you should just let me in. because this is shit school apparently I guess

I don't know uh that's fine though I should you should just let me in yeah okay I'm just looking at your score your credits you you don't you have one for bowling and one for um interpretive dance and the rest is all um just nothing I love bowling yeah no bowling is great it's not but you know cool uh why should we

what have you done did you have extra I mean it seems bizarre you even hit you're even here Do you have extracurricular activities that you could, like, you know? I fooled the police into thinking I was kidnapped. Interesting. I like, do you think outside of the box? Is this related to the grades? Yeah, a little bit.

I thought so. Yeah. Okay. It's all coming together now. Okay. So why don't you just give me, you rattle off a few of the sophisticated ways that you trick the police who don't really try to, you know, find people anyway.

We know that. So I really bad. So I was. in my car and I was eating a Reese's peanut butter cup and they give you the free at the school oh yeah we get a lot of them oh interesting yeah what's been nice cafeteria is packed to the brand with Reese's pieces wow is that why you couldn't uh focus on school I mean those they're tasty yeah sure I mean I don't I know I know when I eat at Reese's pieces I like to put them in my pussy wow okay this is that's not appropriate I'm a dean oh I'm sorry I didn't become a dean

by letting women, young women, tell me what's in their pussy. You're not going to, me, too, me, lady. So I was in my car, I was eating a Reese and Pieces, and I left. And I just left my car on the side of the road, which I know it doesn't sound like a lot. Right. Doesn't sound like anything. But it sounds like you were just probably just drunk and wandered off.

I didn't finish the Reese's pieces. And everybody who knows me knows that I love Reese's pieces. I would never not finish. and Reese pieces. This is like a sequel to ET? What is this? So they know that they, so then they knew that I was kidnapped

even though I was faking it. This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Get out of here. Get out of here. Go. I'm spraying you. I'm spraying you with a measure we spray bob. Oh, God.

Eat some. So what happened? Is she in jail now? Um, during the course of the phone call, we found that she had not been attending college for quite some time, almost at the point where it was over a year,

maybe two. Two? Wait, where's this money going? Were they paying the tuition? Yeah, that's a good point. I guess she, I mean, I mean, I don't want to assume because I didn't, you know, my parents weren't paying my, you know,

maybe she was getting a scholarship? Was she taking financial aid? Maybe she was doing financial aid? Maybe they have not, maybe they really didn't, like, we're picturing parents, I mean, honestly,

we're picturing parents who, like keep on top of this maybe you know chances are if this is what this girl's doing she might not have had like the best parents yeah who like care she might you know just just telling them she's getting you know financial aid putting here putting there but no but so where was she then where was she i guess the whole time she was at a friend's house um this is crazy but so then i guess She tells... She's living in a friend's house. Yeah.

Is it a boyfriend, do you think? Um, no, I think it's a female friend. Oh, at the state police station, Stein told when she was found, Stein told officer she was pulled over and abducted, quote, by an unknown male who posed as a police officer. Okay, so she is making up a store. She is, you know, trying to weave a tail. But this is after they found her.

Yeah, this is after they found her. Also, I just realized my theory falls apart because if you had parents who didn't care, you wouldn't have to fake anything, you would have to lie about going to college. I mean, honestly, this is the dumbest lie ever because basically they find her at her friend's home. And it says when officers arrived, they found her safe inside and she was taken in for questioning. So basically, like, they just found her hanging out at a friend's house. And then like, this is the kind of thing where like cops, like even when they're not geniuses, they can just see right through this kind of thing where it's like, you know, it's like,

you're obviously fine. And now we're, like, asking you questions about this thing you did. And now you're just like... And then she starts telling people, no, some guy... I was abducted. Wait, I'm confused. Did she... She faked it.

So they were looking for it because she faked it. Yeah. Why not just parked a car at a friend's house? Yeah. I'm so confused about how long was she supposed to be missing for? I think she wanted it to look like a, like a, like they had been, like she'd been taken from her car. but like if two years have passed

no one cares that she's not in college I mean I don't understand like this doesn't make sense if the parents didn't know that she wasn't in college they don't seem like they would care that she wasn't you know what I mean yeah like look at the transcripts on the aid this is I don't this just seems like

she's trying to get on an American Idol is that even still a show anyway her friend Lamani said she appeared to launch the hoax because you wasn't actually attending college quote the fact of not going to school apparently for so long and maybe disappointing people was the reasoning behind it well she'll be a you know a congressman one day congresswoman yeah probably this is this is another george santo's in the making i mean it really makes you appreciate how

good george santo's is yeah nothing better than warm red bull enjoyed enjoyed by me uh i don't know does does milton hershey's family have anything to say about this uh they've been they've been suspiciously quiet have you ever been to hersey park oh yeah yeah you and you went to and you were the was it hershershey's chocolate world i once had a great my i got some mugs when we went there as a kid i had a mug with the dancing wreaths's probably the mascot this stupid university and um i got because her Hershey's chocolate world is like a fake um it's next to the park it's a fake factory i believe like it's you go through it and they're making Hershey's kisses and chocolate but i'm pretty sure it's not where they make the chocolate because there's no rats

running around there's no feces anywhere so it can't be the real factory you know no one no one's getting their hands caught in the in the thing that scrapes the beans I feel like Hershey World is a kind of a, it's a bad... Hershey's Chocolate Land, you mean? Hershey... I feel like Hershey's... The chocolate world. I can't remember.

Hershey's Chocolate Land. Because Hershey Park is the theme park. Hershey Park, that's what I'm going. Hershey's Chocolate World is the is. You got hats on Hershey's kisses? It's a magical land for... You're really towing the line on these definitions. Fat dumb kids.

Please use the proper dictionary definition of Hershey Park and Hershey's Chocolate. It's like saying you got, you know, assault to the Epcot when you were really at, you know, Harry Potter World. You know, let's get it straight. We're a new, we're a news outfit now. I think Hershey's chocolate world was a bad idea because I feel like that's when people, that's when I first realized, I was really excited to go there. And it's kind of where I first realized that Hershey's isn't that good. Yeah. Because it's like you eat just a crazy amount of chocolate as a kid.

You're just stuffing your face with a chocolate. Yeah. And then it's like, by the end of you're just kind of. This isn't great. We're not like kids and children in the ashes of Hiroshima being handed. Oh, GI, please give me a little bit of your chocolate ration. Or maybe in Vietnam, they were stuck. I think by Vietnam, they're like, screw off, kid.

This is my chocolate. But, you know, what was it? Like, you know, if they were in Tokyo, I guess, Occupy Tokyo, just hand in canning kids, waxy chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree. It's not a, I mean, I like a nice crackle, like a bite-sized crackle. their version of a

I like a crackle too or Mr. Good bar again bite size that's why Halloween they had that bite size Hershey's because it's all you want you start eating a whole bunch of bricks and it's just like this is just

this is literally tastes like like a brown wax lip yeah I remember seeing one of the things I was fixated on at Hershey's Chocolate World when I went was there was a giant crackle bar yeah

oh really that you can hold in like two hands oh you could buy it yeah yeah did you did parents buy it for you no terrible parents i know it's a it's disgusting i really am i'm disgusted right now i'm i'm gonna make a speech about that's the oiling yeah um disgusting chocolate now do you think godiva should have your own little theme park we're supposed it's just like the italian mafia the original mafia and they're just whacking people i have no no offense godiva i'm sure you're not affiliated with the what they call it over there no sucre

Oh, is that their name? Well, it's Kosynostro. Oh, that's what they call it here. I don't know what they call over there. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that they were called there. You ever heard of Kosyn? I shouldn't even be saying this.

I can be clipped for saying this. Anyway, who knows what Goddive is into? Anyone who makes chocolate as edible wouldn't need to make a theme park. Cadbury would make a good theme park. Yeah. You used to have guys dressed up like Cadbury eggs, but it's just like shit in diapers.

I was thinking more of like an Alice in Wonderland theme But yeah, sure, that could work too How would that come into play? Because I feel like Cadbury is more whimsical. Like it has more of a whimsical vibe to it. Like you should, you know, you should be riding around in little teapots at Cadbury. You should be doing things that are very British.

So you should literally be breaking copyright of Disney. The one thing you've thought of it was like, you're pitching me like, you're just like lady pitching Cadbury. Like we have this idea. We're a PR company. you have a theme park two words magic mountain Mickey Mouse

Does Disney have a famous teacup thing? Yes I've never been to look I don't know Beauty and the Beast teacups I don't know I don't think so I think it's right in the 60s Google the teacup ride Geez I've never been to Disney

I don't care about Disney I think Disney stinks Oh this does look cute Yeah it's a mad tea party Oh that's Alice in Wonderland Oh, all right. Well, I guess, yeah, I guess it doesn't he beat you to it. So I guess I see where you're coming from then. But the fact that I thought about it.

So that's why you were saying. Isn't the fact that I thought about it in a parallel way? Isn't that kind of impressive? It came out like 85 years ago. I basically have the same genius as the guy who designed that. Why don't you invite, invent blue jeans while you're at it? Pitch the microwave, the GE. See what happens.

Anyway. No, look, I'll give you, I'll give you credit, sure. The only one in the world will give you credit for the teapupup. A little teacup ride. So, yeah, that's where Cadbury goes. So what's her name again? Her name is Stein. Chloe Stein.

Chloe Stein. Good luck to you. We wish you the best. We should make a movie about this. We're getting to the movie business. Maybe we should, maybe we should option her story. Yeah. It's just her.

But what would we need to add to make, this like a more compelling movie would have to be like a we'd have to link it in with like you know maybe maybe maybe Putin's involved yeah yeah right you don't like him lately how we link Putin with with with with university or maybe she becomes sort of like a like an Elizabeth Smart like it's like the revelation is more prolonged the one from Bama's tale is it Elizabeth Smart the one who was abducted oh so you don't we make it more like a real child who's actually abducted is what you're saying so you're saying we're saying we change the story so it's hey here's what we do he's our

pitch to mgm we got this girl who faked her death or abduction to get to from from a chocolate university from peanut butter cup university to to live at a friend's house that's an interesting story so what's your what's your angle well we're going to take this story and make her actually a abducted. It's not fun anymore. Now we're just making an unsolved mystery. I was just thinking the charade lasts longer. But Elizabeth Smart wasn't a charade, was it? No, no, but like the charade lasts long enough for her to become Elizabeth Smart. But she's abducting herself. I know. She's living in a house. I mean, you're really doing a number on Elizabeth Smart. Like, look, Elizabeth Smart is basically a girl who lives in a friend's house for seven years. I don't remember

No, look, if you could, if you factor in the Stockholm syndrome, they were kind of friends. I guess. I mean, sort of. It's like, I mean, just for people who aren't familiar and I'm not that familiar, I believe she was a young girl who was kidnapped and then, you know, in the course of her kid, I mean, she's probably kept in a locked cell or something for a while. After a while, they started let her walk around town. And so you think that's analogous to like a girl faking her kidnapping.

Ah. This is troubling. No, I'm just saying. I'll make another speech about this is the wedding. This is troubling. Moving on. Before you incriminate yourself. What else do we have?

We have, speaking of Putin who I brought up, you claim he has a new super weapon. Is this a verify? Is this another thing you made up? The Daily Beast is. I can never remember which ones they are. Are they the ones who, uh, that Ben Shapiro? No. that's somebody I don't know who it is but it's I'm not really sure what angle they take they

usually take or whatever but um no we have to know that but now humiliation of Putin's unstoppable super weapons blast have sky by US defense system oh I think I might have heard about this so they have some kind of hypersonic missiles is that the deal uh yeah but apparently but but we got him imagine Robert Oppenheimer imagine everyone knows who he is right he's right he's he invented the atomic bomb with a bunch of people a bunch of helpers you know uh including albert iron's time i guess right and uh you're making a move christopher nolan's making a movie about him this summer it's coming out it's called oppenheimer do you think he's looking he famously regretted it right afterwards but you think he would change his mind a little bit about

the regret if you realize that like what was it like 75 years later people are still fussed around with other shit isn't anywhere near as powerful Oh, we got a hyper-slaught. I built an A-bomb. I wonder if he'd be slightly disappointed, too. Yeah. No, of course you would. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like inventing, what's something great?

The internet. It's like, you know, using, you know, using, weird CB radios. People just keep on using typewriters and complaining about them. Yeah. Complaining about how hard they already use. Right. It's like, oh, we got a new typewriter. of the computer.

It's like we literally just keep on getting into wars over communication issues because nobody will switch to them. Right. No one, he's like, he's like, I know I regret. If I, I would never have quoted the comma sutra, not a commas.

The comma, the commas. No, famously he quoted, was the Bogdavadavada, whatever it's called. I have become death. Yeah, the Bogdavadavada. The, I don't know if it's in the Bagadavita, I think it is. It's in the bucket.

Okay. If you say so, yeah. You have no idea. I'm mostly right. I'm like a syllable off and you're actually like a time. Yeah, but you've lost credibility because you can't say it. Oh, God. Now, no one will believe you.

No one will believe your story. I'm ashamed. But the quote of the I am. It's from the Bible. The Christian Bible, shut your mouth. uh anyway wherever it's from because i have become death destroyer of worlds yeah you think he was like changes i don't think he would have said that if he realized that we weren't using his cool invention yeah he assumed everyone he assumed it was such a good

thing everyone would constantly use it right he's like he's like oh like he's like you tell him like oh it's a cold war what cold cold war what you mean like oh yeah we were all like 50 years really tense about like maybe using the weapons maybe Maybe. I assume everyone would be throwing nukes with each other. This sucks. Do you think, I always wonder, like, when he said that, like, I always, people always imagine him saying it in a very solemn way. Yeah. But what are the odds he just kind of said it and kind of like a, you know, like a throwaway line? Like, yeah, I become death, destroyer worlds. Hey, I've become a death.

Destroy a world here. I'm a story of world. And all the scientists are laughing around it. I'm destroying worlds over here. Oh, I'm over here, though. I have become death. I'm Shiva, the god of death. I'll be back to night. Oh, anyway, I don't care about this story because it's not nukes.

I'm so sick of hearing about things that aren't nukes. We follow the Iraq war over, like, weapons of mass destruction, none of them are nukes. Oh, what was it? Yellow cake uranium. Oh, right. But no one's using that to make a bomb. ridiculous what are you trying to taunt world leaders and do you say stop stop flexing so much yeah oh we got anthrax we go on uh anyway where else will i picture we have to get to the

things i pitch in the intro as if we can't probably these intros i do now you have to get to them do want me to read any of this no no okay we we got we milked it we we got our fun out of it That's what the news just does. But we just pump them and dump them. Oh, this was one of the things. We could talk about it. I'm worried because sometimes I pitch things and I realize it's the last thing.

Oh, I didn't get to the story about the grandfather clock. And then we have to milk that for hours. Yeah, people love the new intro, but that's one of its complications. Yeah. No, it's fine. If I wasn't a moron, it would be fine. What's good?

So you read some of the story. Six infamous dagger missiles. That's a cool. name for a missile. I guess. I mean... It's a missile that stabs you. It's kind of a dumb name for a missile.

It's like, hey, here's our new sword gun. Is there a sword or a gun? Because, like, honestly, if it's a gun, I'll back off. You got a sword. I got a gun. I got a gun. It's like, whatever. I mean, that was probably the original name for, like, the bayonet or whatever they

ended up calling. Gun sword. Gunsword. I mean, yeah. Honestly, reading about that time in history would be cooler if they were called gun swords. Oh, yeah. I mean, you got a man.

I wonder how often guys use bayonets. Like, I mean, because I think in the Civil War, they were used a lot. Well, because it took you like a minute and a half to load, right? Right. The pole and the thing. Meanwhile, guys would be running at you and you had to stabby, stabby, loady, shooty, shooty. You think you're the best move is stabbing the guy on the ass?

Well, if you can get behind him, yeah. Yeah, well, I'll get behind them. I'll believe you, me, I'll get behind them. I think it's actually really. hard to get behind someone when you're well the whole thing it's a long-ass thing so the idea is you scoop it up i i would make sure the bayon that's curves you can kind of scoop it i'm in front of you and like who like uh like a oh like a like a like what kind of like a what are they called the thing that uh the grim reaper carries around a sight yeah kind of like a scythe yeah you think that's what's

they don't show that in the cartoons in the in the in the in the Halloween candy but uh you think that's what the Halloween decorations the can you know you know I'm saying yeah usually if you see the Grim Reaper in a cartoon he's not you know he's not he's not like scooping a guy's ass all out no he's not doing that right that would be the move yeah the next Halloween we should incorporate that somehow yeah we should anyway uh I forget what we were talking about what's what's the story What's actually happening? I hope a lot of he'll then die with the super weapon because that we've been goofing on it for tens of minutes, maybe.

Russian officials must be reeling and utter disbelief. That's editorializing. After Ukraine claimed six of their most sophisticated missiles were blasted out of the sky and an incredible night of drama over Kiev. We're just making this up as we go along. I'm on record, was that you should. not invade Ukraine.

Shouldn't invade anybody. But like, you know, first of all, was the CIA involved getting it? Maybe, who knows? But like, I'm reading today in some other articles you don't have ready, it doesn't matter. The CIA is like, oh, yeah, we posted a web link for, like, just the Russian people to, like,

company, you know, to complain to us. And a lot of them are doing it. As a director of operations, the CIA. Right. You, like, it's an article where the director of operations of the CIA is saying that we did something, which means you know we didn't do it. Right.

You know it's not true. Your whole job, like, if you were doing your job normally, you would never say that. They protect their, all that's your sources. We don't, oh, we don't reveal that we can do certain things so they don't know we can do them. And we're just, the director of operate. Like, that's the guy who runs all the spies.

It's like, hey, by the way, he has operating, it's working perfectly. That means it's fake. This news is all, I'm not for Russia, but this is crazy. But go on. When Ukraine's Defense Express outlet reported that just one K-H-47 dagger missile had been shot down with a U.S.-made Patriot Air Defense System earlier this month, it prompted fury in Russia.

On Saturday, U.S. officials told CNN that the Russian, that the Russian missile attack on May 5th was targeting the Patriot itself. Russian officials called the interception, quote, wishful thinking, even as Ukrainian and U.S. officials made statements to the contrary. The Kremlin had believed these weapons were all but, quote, unstoppable. This article sucks. It's just boring.

And the art thing was way better. This is why we do what we do. Yeah. We shouldn't doubt ourselves. Yeah. I know, I have acquired the ability to read a headline and know what's going to be the article. and then make up other things it's called lying but whatever let's move on that's

your super weapon some hypersonic shit that got shot out of the sky no one's using nukes no one should but it's just it's just like you know if they really they they they blew their lot wad too quickly with the whole nuke thing back at the end of the world war two because now it's hard to keep us in you know interested in wars right did domino theory for a while Degami is going to do this. Oh, my God. Let's go invade Mongolia, whatever they were doing. Wouldn't it be crazy if nuclear weapons didn't even exist?

It's fake. It's fake. I mean, that would be the craziest kind of denial conspiracy. I mean, I wonder if they do exist. People are like, no, they just bulldoze Hiroshima. No, like the shadows, like people's shadows got melted into rocks. I mean, I don't know. Does that sound right?

Well, that sounds weird. You heard that before. I have heard that. shadows were like kind of like and look i i get it i was a photographer at one point i understand the basic science behind that maybe i mean i don't know rocks photo sensitive i mean they have to put silver halide i mean now i'm thinking about it they got put silver halide onto like this film this jellate was basically a gelatin coating and the silver is what absorbs the light rays you can you have you ever seen someone take a polaroid picture with a rock

i don't know i mean i'm not trying to i believe nuclear weapons exists this, I believe Hiroshima got nuked, but I'm just saying, it makes more sense than flat earth. Yeah. Yeah, right. Are we on to something? I think we're on to something. Fake nukes. Interesting.

Should we leave with that? Nukes aren't real. This just didn't. Shadows are painted. They got a bulldozer. Those people, they, people just shot. Yeah. All those people didn't die?

No, we shot them. All of them. Yeah. We have enough bullets for that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. We made a lot of bullets in World War II. Crazy. Should we go on to the next thing?

Well, next thing, promoting our fake nuke podcast. Our podcast is now called fake nukes. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah, right. What's the last thing I promoted? Oh, the banana.

thing oh right go the banana story um the one about the kid eating the banana there's two of them actually but i guess one's the important one uh a while back there was a story about a kid who went on a field trip to a museum there was a piece of art that was a banana taped to a wall the guy who ate a 120,000 dollar banana in an art museum says he was just hungry and this is a girl This is the guy Or my misgendering now Am I going to get kicked off YouTube? Is that the guy

Is that the guy who ate the banana? I don't think so I think that's somebody else I think that's another student pointing at it This story is such a weird Non-story They're like just put some girl Because then people will see the girl

With the banana You get it I don't get it Now you get it What you're doing that banana I don't know looking at it Anyway go on An iteration of

This is from like the, from the, uh, photo caption, uh, an iteration of Maurizio's, Catalan's, quote, uh, comedian. That's what this piece was called. By the way, the photo was a girl pointing out of a banana duct tape to a wall. Why is this story not a horse shit art in museum? Yeah. The art is literally a white wall. Let's bring us back up with a, with a banana duct tape to it.

That's, look, you got to know, look, I, this seems like something I, if I was in college, I did stuff like this. Like, I talked about how I was in film class and I, like, got annoyed by, like, the, uh, the, uh, people talking about, like, you know, the metaphors and films. So we were watching Meet Me and St. Louis, the Judy Garland film. And I convinced every, and I was, like, making the point that it was about Japanese internment. And they all went with it. Oh, really? Yeah.

I mean, this is, this is a version of me. Just, hey, I duct tape of the banana to a wall. And everyone's like, oh, yeah. Like, you have to know when you can call bullshit. Oh, yeah, for sure. But no one never does. The guy who ate the banana is the hero. But go on.

So this piece comedian has previously sold for $120,000. Why are we? We're in a wrong business. We can make so much bullshit. A college student who recently viewed the art in Seoul Museum said he ate the banana after skipping breakfast. That's part of the art, right? That's got to be part of the gimmick.

It's got, oh, you think that artist. We're getting banksy here. Yeah, maybe. This is a, it may not be Banksy, but like, we're getting banksy. We're, we're part of the problem. Because apparently this guy ate the banana. He's, he either is the artist or he's friends with him. Yeah, that would make sense.

Yeah, it would make sense as a Banksy stunt. Because that's the whole thing. Oh, someone ate a banana. Like, otherwise it's just like, the story's done. Like, you know, the people will eventually catch on. This is a, I mean, the banana's rotted, right? I don't think so. I think it was relatively fresh.

I don't know if they replaced it in the banana from time to time. That doesn't count. You can't just have a... It seems like you should need... You should have to at least let the banana rot there. Right. I mean, you can't just have a piece of art

where you all literally, like Jackson Pollock was bad enough. And he was funded by the CIA, by the way. And they were like, oh, you know, when he spackled the paint, shut up, it was an op. Jackson Pollock was a hack. Ed Harris either is part of it or he got played. We made that movie. Jackson and Pollock can go to the hell.

I'll be burning right now with G. Gordon Liddy. I think he's still alive. Anyway, point is, at least that stayed on the wall. You can't have a thing where the only thing is like a banana duct tape to a wall. And then, like, every day a guy has to come by and, like, duck, duct tape the banana again. It's not the same thing now. It's literally just a set of instructions. Hey, duct tape a, how do you even buy that piece of art?

How do you buy it? You just, like, it's just, it's literally just a card says duct tape bananas to a wall. Buy bananas. Ducks tape one to a wall every day. It's like an NFT. How would you torture Jackson Pollock in hell? Because, because I have an idea that I think is pretty brilliant. I'd make him, uh, draw something that wasn't just terrible.

It would take him a turn. I don't know if you could, yeah, you couldn't do that. Yeah, no. It was just, hey, hey, draw, draw something anyone cares about. Loser. I'm thinking. But, you know, an anal torture machine. You always go to this.

It never stops. An anal torture machine. But part of the machine's charm is that it will spray kind of like fecal and blood, fecal and blood at a canvas and kind of, it will be, it will spray fecal and blood. Fecal matter and blood at a canvas. And it will kind of be eternally making a Jackson Pollock painting out of Jackson Pollock's shit in blood. So this is kind of like a hellraiser situation With the cinnabunds

I felt like it was a hellraiser idea Yeah Here's a problem with that I don't hear like I don't know that it plays To Jackson Pollock Hey so what we're gonna do We're gonna put this thing up your ass

And it's gonna grind around And suck blood and feces out of you Oh that sounds terrible And here's a coup de grace That goes on through a canvas Just like your paintings yeah that's not any anything worse than that i don't care where it goes please i mean you if you want i'll use fecal whatever i i couldn't care less where does fecal matter and blood and

piss goes after you scrape it out my ass with machines demons and ghouls like irony they want to they want to torture you with irony not just with torture i i think it's got yeah maybe i think it's better if like you know this thing you can stop this thing if you can draw draw a person oh yeah combine the two ideas i like that sure i get i don't think he cares that the canvas is getting full of his crap but maybe i think it's more i think the grinding around his colon is really is the worst thing but no i like that i like i get i get why you enjoy it more but yeah for forever if he if he can draw if he can draw like just a smiley face maybe you know we cut it down by 10% Yeah.

I'm not sure you can do that. The guy was just the worst. I hate Jackson Pollock. Yeah, he's pretty bad. No, I like your clever thing. Thank you. It's important to me that you like. Well, it should be.

I'm an art critic. The art in question comedian is a frequently placed duct tape banana that is meant to evoke every... This happens a lot with us, by the way. And I cut you off a lot. I'm sorry. But this happens a lot with us. We'll ran for 10 minutes, and the first sentence we read after that explains... what we're talking about.

The art in question comedian is a frequently placed ductated banana that is meant to evoke everything from Charlie Chaplin's slapstick comedy. Fuck you. To the fruit status as an emblem of a global trade. I must have missed that scene

in the gold rush with city lights. Charlie Chaplin didn't use bananas. He wasn't a hack. Right. Like it's a, he wasn't a silent, he wasn't just some nobody silent actress flipping on bananas.

He was a pie. I mean you're a filmmaking. Yeah. He's one of the most important filmmakers of all the time. Bar none. Like, he's like, he famously did like a hundred takes for the scene where he meets the blind girl in City Lights.

Yeah. It's like, if you've never seen a Charlie Chaplin film, like you've just seen the old snippets, which I don't even know they think they do that anymore. Like we were a kids, we had like Muppet babies where they were play little snippets of things like a Charlie Chaplin thing.

Like it was just play for, like, part of some thing. Yeah. And so as a kid, I was aware of Chaplin. And so when I was older, I didn't realize, oh, these are, like, actual films, like, are incredibly crafted. And for their time, just, even now, but still immensely, you know, intricate.

And either way, I, I, I, I, I don't know what the banana deck tape to a wall has to do with him. It said nothing to do with it. We, we, we're just the worst country. We, there wasn't even us, though, wasn't it? I think, I think maybe it was Italian, But, yeah, the Italians are having to laugh. Yeah. They're going.

Oh, also, is it like Kubrick, the banana? Is the banana like Kubrick? Is the bonoac? It evokes Barry Lyndon. Yeah. It spoke to the student in simpler terms, reminding him that he had skipped breakfast that morning. So as his visit to Sol's Liam Museum of Art stretched past noon late last week, no sees the yellow fruit and ate it.

ignoring the alarmed cry of a museum staffer. I mean, who even care? Is it replaced every day? It's like, whatever. Right. It's not even a thing. Like, it might, the only reason it might not be a gimmick is because, like,

it's not even a thing. It's not, is like, you just replace a banana every day. Or frequently, like, every four days. Okay. Oh, so someone, someone had to go duct tape another banana on the wall, but that took like, what, 20 seconds? That wasn't a contingency? They don't have bananas.

is lying around. There should be a bucket of bananas next to it. It took no about one minute to yank the banana and eat it. One minute. Yeah. I mean, don't you have to peel it? It's a single piece of duct tape. Whatever.

When he was done, he reattached the peel to its spot on the wall. I feel like this kid wasn't really. They're trying to make it sound more innocent than it is. This kid wasn't hungry. He was taking the piss out of this piece of art. Good for him? Yeah, which is good. Yeah.

Either he's in on it or good for him. Either way, I feel like we got had by even talking about this. We're part of the, what is this? The killing fields. Wait, that's not right. What? I don't know why is it that. What were the killing?

That was bad, right? Indonesia. Yeah, the killing fields are good. It wasn't a metaphor, was it? That was a real tragedy, right? The wrecking crew. Are we part of the wrecking crew? The Beach Boys backup band?

Yeah, a lot of other great artists, yeah. Oh, who else do they do? I think that they did a lot of people. Name one. Look, it was a lot, okay? Okay. That was enough to correct me with. Others.

The pago-waggoggles. That's just the beach boys. Don't you know the pago woggles? They did the beach bowl of my life? The beach boys, et cetera. Excuse me. Sure. Anyway.

No told the museum he ate the art because he was hungry. He's totally, I mean, assuming this is all real. Like, he's totally just. trolling them this is just like a dead drop for the CIA yeah what atrocity was like was like achieved by like this is all just done so they can assassinate some random a seemingly random guy in the museum yeah hey they eat a banana get him get him yeah hey everybody this kids eat this banana. Oh,

he don't eat a banana. She's giving somebody a heart attack gun. Stepping with a heart attack gun. But know who studies aesthetics and religion at a sole national university. That's the biggest thing I've heard so far. Yeah. You studies aesthetics and religion? What the hell is that?

Well, like the cloak, the priest wears while he's introducing. the altar boy had we got it um showing showing films to an older boy great cinema wait why does this even matter if it's replaced all the time that's what you said doesn't matter yeah it's no this doesn't make any sense this is this is a big this is this is the onion was NPR might as well be but no who studies aesthetics and religion at Seoul National University also opined about the artist intent in an interview with KBS asking of the fruit which is KBSS so it's KBS so like Is that like the New Zealand secret police?

Asking it the fruit, which is replaced every few days, to keep the installation looking fresh, is meant to be eaten. No also suggested his own actions might qualify his art, rather than a mere transgression, as he transformed Catalan's work and put it back on display. What, do you wipe a shit on the wall? That would be, that would actually, look, eat the banana, and then he should have shown him the next day

and then scrape your shit on the wall. Yeah. Because that's the bananas, though. He should have shaped his shit like a banana. With the shit that came to the banana. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You have to make sure it's that shit. We should do this with the Mona Lisa. Yeah. Can we eat the Mona Lisa? I mean, you can't. That's behind glass. But honestly, ruminations like this are probably where Piss Christ came from.

Oh, yeah. I like Piss Christ. I actually look. Piss Christ was the other bad. What is the gist of Piss Christ? It's Christ, like, painted, with piss. Oh, okay, that is pretty simple.

Yeah, no, no, no, or no, maybe it might be a crucifix inside piss or something. Either way, it's more than this. Here's the thing. The moment of least is that the Louvre, it's behind, like, famously behind, like, just sheets of glass and, you know, impenetrable-proof glass. But you go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, you know, over on Fifth Avenue or whatever, and you see, like, monies and all sorts of great paintings, and there, you can get them. You could eat them.

Right. I might go eat one of those lily pads or whatever he painted. What would happen if I ate a lily pad painting? I mean, who knows? It was oil-based painting. It might kill me. Yeah, it wouldn't be good for you, probably. It would destroy my insides, but would I be arrested?

I think so. Yeah, what would be the charge? We'd be the charge of me eating a painting? I didn't steal it. What do they call it? Vandalism? What I vandalize? I guess it would.

I scraped a little. Lillipad out of the, yeah, it's technically vandalism. You're going to do five years up in the Rikers for vandalism. It doesn't seem like enough for destroying a Monet. Yeah, right? I'll probably, they'll find some other way to do it, right? Or will I get away with it? You could probably eat a Monet and not,

look, if I had to do one year for eating a Monet, I'd do it. I mean, if you're not familiar with Monet, shame on you. he was one of the founders of impressionism and the later in life he got really fixated on liby pads and i'm going to eat one i mean honestly for a year a year in jail is worth it would you have street cred in jail like look if you i know in certain things you do in jail i imagine people like oh shit that's the guy who you know who uh who kissed mike tyson and

against his will oh yeah right i don't know i'm trying to think of impressive things to people in jail yeah like impressive but weird not necessarily traditionally tough things well i mean i think the tougher things are usually what they like and i that was one of my examples because he's like which wouldn't be a real i mean what was something robbing a bank i guess in a really cool way if i ate them or ne would they care they don't know what mona is most of these guys probably i bet a few of them would care i ate a mona i think you'd be a novel Hey, I ate them on a day. You haven't known to met?

No. You know Fifth Avenue? Not really. It's a museum. You know what that means? Eh. You mean like a, like the place where you send letters? That's a post office.

I don't know that criminal, like the typical criminal. I'm sure there's some art thieves in jail, but the odds of me being in the same sublock as them. And they probably wouldn't be that impressed. Because I would literally just kind of put my mouth to it and start biting. Right. Perfect crime. I got to do this now.

I got to eat a Monet. A whole Monet. I mean, as much as I can take. Yeah. I mean, I imagine you start biting into like 200-year-old oil painting. It's going to get rough.

It's going to get a little rough. But I mean, isn't, isn't the cheese nowadays is just oil? This is that was, you know, craft cheese commercials. And our competitors are, you know, we make it with milk, but our competitors have oil and water. That's what they used to show that.

Oh, right. It's basic cheese. It's just cheese. It's bad cheese. It ain't craft. No one said it was going to be craft. It's shitty cheese. I'm going to do this.

Anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Thank you. If you're a fan of the pod, you might enjoy our Patreon. which is i enjoy our page it's patreon.com slash ray comp and you get an extra episode every week for five bucks a month and uh i think it's a pretty good deal yeah it's good enjoyable and uh so you do that otherwise uh thanks for tuning in we'll see you next week

Thank you.