Kump - 17 - The Monarchy According to Kump

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

Ray basks in the glory of the new  Royal baby by speculating about  Prince Harry's military career, and coming up with new jobs for the Royal Family.  He also attempts to help the homeless, and give lame dad's a way to relate to their children.

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. Welcome to Kump. Currently, I am in this closet and water is dripping off me off of my underwear.

I did some, I didn't have time to go to the laundromat today, so I, uh, washed my clothes in uh in the bathroom sink which yeah put some detergent in the sink i filled it up and uh you know i agitated it with a piece of tupperware i just kind of like rotated it around hot water and i don't look is my homeless is this a homeless thing to do or am i being like i am an eagle scout people forget that so i feel like i'm being resourceful um it's just dripping all over me it's just i mean it's the very it's it's hanging over say i washed it in the sink and it's hanging over the uh the door to the closet which i jammed shut with my underwear and my socks and t-shirt and it's just dripping it's gonna be dripping i mean i don't know if it makes

the noise but whatever you might hear some dripping that's what it is it's hopefully it's not shit water hopefully i did a good job cleaning the underwear so therefore you know i mean i'm not shitting in the underwear but you know i mean we'll never like like the filth particles that you know come off my balls hopefully you know filtering like a tea like a coffee pot dripping

onto me I just open my mouth and drink some of my fucking shit tea that's what I deserve I don't know is this a weird confession am I being scummy as I'm saying I thought I was being resourceful but I feel like I'm I sound like a guy

who goes into a gym locker room because I do that in LA I was some bar and there's some guy like talking some other guy about the homeless in L.A. You're just like, hey, you buy a gym membership. And then you wash your, you know, you wash your balls in your ass, and you go in there, you take care of yourself,

and you live out in the sun. And it sounds nice. It sounds, you probably, I don't want to say they're living better than me, because, you know, that's insensitive, I guess. And it's a big homeless problem out there. But, you know, I mean, I would like some sun. I don't have much vitamin D. I get really sweaty in the sun.

It starts to, it just makes everyone uncomfortable. I'm just dripping all over me. I'll stop announcing it. It was just concerning. But, you know, homeless in New York. I mean, it's kind of the roughest place to be homeless. I went to New Orleans a couple years ago. And they just, like, I mean, there's a lot of them,

but they, like, live under the overpasses, which is, like, not the idea. No one wants to live there. But, I mean, if you're going to be homeless, at least you have, you know, a little shelter from the elements. But here, you know, like de Blasio or, I guess, Bloomberg beforehand. and then Giuliani, they were just Billy Club.

They would get some cop to fucking, you know, just punch you in the neck if you try to sleep under it. I mean, you can't even go. They're gated off. If you go by, like, the Williamsburg Bridge is just, like, they keep, like, salting machines down there. I don't know. I mean, I would love to, like, make a camp there for the homeless.

Just, you know, I don't use my sleeping bag anymore. I have at my parents' house. I haven't gone camping in quite a while since I made my Eagle Scout rank. I'll pay it forward. Maybe they can make a, they can't really make eagles. you know, unless they're under 18, but you know, you can still, maybe they can be a scoutmaster. Maybe that, why don't the Boy Scouts do that? Why do the Boy Scouts have a program where they reform homeless men into being leaders for young

boy? I mean, maybe the boys can help lead them to. It's reciprocal because, you know, you know, it's varying degrees. I don't want to slander anyone. There's a lot of mental illness, I guess, were the homeless. But maybe some people just, you know, there might be a select few who are just in need of some survival skills. Maybe, uh, I mean, maybe a lot of veterans who are homeless, maybe they can kind of teach

the boys, you know, knots. They do knots in the military. We spent all this time in the Boy Scouts doing knots. I don't know to what end. I mean, I was always bad at it. I was always crammed for the knot test. There was actually a knot test. I mean, it wasn't specifically the knots, but it was a part of, what do they call it,

the border review. I think, yeah, it was a border review, which sounds kind of like a something you have to go drew one like, you know, some priest's touch as a kid, but they don't really do anything about that. The fucking church, the board review for the church is like, you know, an add-a-boy. They give them an out-a-boy when they touch a kid or whatever. But, you know, in other jobs, when you do something wrong, they'll give you some. It sounds just, but this is really what you do when you get in the rank. I'm rambling here, but this is the process when you're in the Boy Scouts, you have to periodically rank up. It's like, you know, if you play, you know,

call of duties, you got to, you know, go up the level. Same thing with the Boy Scouts. There's less ranks. let me try to remember what they were tenderfoot was the first one i don't think you earn tenderfoot yeah you earn tenderfoot i guess and then there's a oh fuck there's star life and star but i think something in between there i don't know eagle it just look this is not why you tuned in but these are how i'm an eagle scout i can't remember though this is i should probably cut this out of the podcast the fucking the b s a the boy scouts of america is gonna fucking strip me of my goddamn title can they do that

I should really look into what kind of perks I can get for being an Eagle Scout you know I really at one point they like said it a letter to my parents' house years ago asking me if they were making

a national Eagle Scout registry and they wanted me to be a part of it and I just never sent the form in but it could have been nice I could have brought that I put that on my like job applications I don't know if it does anything I mean the morgue

uh actually does a lot more my current job the guy was like the guy who hired me uh you know my boss for a while was telling me yeah that's why i hired you were kind of a sweaty mess you didn't even know anything but the more you know it seemed interesting i mean i got a lot of these young kids trying to get the job and you know there's all dressed in ties and shit and you

come in not like a slob but you know you know i was wearing like that period where i was always wearing the same black button up shirt they got at uh walmart like a dress shirt for like you know like kind of thing like when you when you're when your grandpa dies and like you've gained weight so the suit you got like when you were 24 doesn't fit anymore so you know you go to walmart and you get like a nice suit not a nice suit you get something you can wear presentably for like 50 bucks and you return it the next day and i'm saying it's like that because it's what i did when my grandpa died and uh also my grandma yeah i mean my earlier grandparents uh my pa when he died i believe i just wore some shitty green button up like dress shirt that i had and like tan slacks

I was a goddamn grandson and I was dressed like a fuck I mean I wasn't in like a garbage bag but I mean I look back in that It was kind of like I couldn't have fucking got in a suit When you're an adult and you can't get the fucking You can't scrape together a goddamn suit for a funeral Or a wedding you really

I'm not saying you're trash I mean I feel like trash I really should get a suit I should get a nice suit I mean I'm not one of these fat guys who just like you know Gets done up in suits and stuff I mean is that really I don't have a fat fat white guys do that

But the fat black guys pull it off better. If I try to do like a Zoot suit type of thing or fucking you know, whatever, it just wouldn't work. I'm not saying Zoot suits, but what's the other stuff? The pin stripes and the, you know, just they look good in suits. I don't look good in suits. I have to fucking, they get some Italian butcher

to, I mean, Taylor would probably be better. But no, I'll just go to an Italian butcher and see if you can cut me some meat and use a fucking slicer to like, you know, mend my pants. What my, I should be fucking shot. But yeah, so Eagle Scout Well, we'll move on from that

It's a big week We have the We welcome a new addition To the royal family The new baby I don't think it's named anything yet I think for a minute I thought his name was Sussex

But I think they said Because they were calling it baby Sussex I think it's just like the house I mean the house are Windsor aren't they But I think Sussex Is something I don't know how it works he's fucking i mean how how many houses are there in england

it doesn't matter but like it's just like i'm not going to make it you know start talking about how they're inbred i mean they're relatively inbrib or whatever but i'm just look it's a wonderful thing congratulations to prince harry uh the esteemed fighter pilot who i believe was responsible for bombing a hospital he might have bombed the hospital you can't i won't go on the records don't Don't try to charge me with slander, but I'm guessing off the top of my head that he bombed the hospital because he was hung over during the Iraq War. If I'm wrong, you know, so be it.

It's possible that Prince Harry got drunk and, you know, got into his fighter pilot, the jet. You know, normally if you're a fighter pilot, I assume they, you know, they see you kind of like looking drunk and like staggering and like your dick's hanging out. like not all the way but like the tips hanging out and you're like let me get in the cockpit and like no you get out of here and they'll fucking throw you in the brig or something but Prince Harry that's the thing we all

oh Prince Harry went and served that's great look it's so great he fucking went with a pilot and he fucking fought in the war like do you like the level of the thing you're doing to that unit you're boosting them

morale by having this fucking rich boy I mean I guess it was good because they didn't have to do anything because don't tell me Prince Harry they were trying to make it seem like Prince Harry they try to give him safe duty he wouldn't take it. Oh shit no one's fucking putting Prince Harry in a lot of fire no fucking

flight squadron commander is fucking putting that yokel in the middle of some fucking hairy shit you put them in the Black Hawk down scenario they're gonna have him fucking flying a helicopter with you a helicopter pilot or a fighter jet Who am I asking? I'm staring at a fucking wall in the closet.

Who am I asking? But anyway, I don't know if he flew a helicopter or a jet. It would be funny if Prince Harry wasn't like a real Black Hawk down situation. Like, you know, fighting off, I guess that was Somalians. But whatever, any kind of people who the British Empire is trying to keep down. And like, you know, would that be good or bad? I mean, it would probably, it would be a waste because, you know, the other one, Edward is getting the fucking crown.

Unless he dies. But, uh, so it would just be this great story that this fucking Naderwell fucking Nut King gets to tell. You know, he's just fucking him and a bunch of his buddies are shooting a bunch of indigenous people in some country. And they were like, yeah, you know, we got pinned down. And it's just mowing people down. And like, from, like, from the British point of view,

which is great, you know, story of fucking, I don't know, like, against all odds. But he's really just using superior. technology to shoot a bunch of fucking civilians. I don't know. I'm just saying it would be a complicated thing, but you'd probably come off looking good to the Brits. I mean, where they know, they fucking

they vote for Brexit. They're fucking these people are not exactly do they like the world? I remember talking to kids in, you know, from, in Boy Scout camp about these fucking royal people. Like, you like them? They seem kind of indifferent. I don't know. I mean, it seems passe or

whatever to have contempt for it. I mean, I do. It's just like it's, I'm not, I'm not getting all, you know, fucking in a lot about it. But it's just I don't understand what they, not just what they do. I mean, they don't do anything. I mean, they have the queen has some power, I guess.

The queen's a fucking, it's movies where she was like getting together with Tony Blair and discussing the Iraq war. Meanwhile, like, what was Britain doing the Iraq war? I mean, were they torturing people? Were they fucking, you know, not finding, you know, WMDs? Were they fucking, you know, I mean, Blair did do his part to fucking get us into that thing

I mean you wonder it because Tony Blair like Bush look it's debatable how stupid George W. Bush is I mean I think it's overstated even though he's not the most you know the brightest guy of course he wasn't. He wasn't dyslexic and he wasn't kind of a part of you but you know I mean this guy wasn't a moron

he was just you know unengaged and whatever but he came off you know like a swaggering idiot and uh Blair on the other hand came off like you know he was a very eloquent speaker and fucking uh yeah almost like a John Kennedy vibe I always admired Blair

not for his you know imperialistic neoliberal tendencies but you know just as his manner I liked them but you wonder

if how much debt helped you know push us into the war you remember when they fucking when they when Terry was debating him with the whole uh the swift boat

the swift boat for fucking veterans for truth they fucking torpedo that guy's goddamn career if you don't remember John Kerry was a war I think he's a legitimate war hero or you know he got medals and they fucking

he was one you know just like you know 04 when he's running for president against Bush and you know he's a war here his war record is a because you know the Republicans is always trying to be like ah the Democrats ain't going to finish the war probably like well I was in fucking nah my fucking got some medals and shit

and then I fucking uh you didn't even serve you didn't even do your national guard duty Bush and then Carl Rove the evil genius that he is he organizes a bunch of fucking I think fake or like maybe real swift because he can't really like you know was a captain of a swift boat

which is a guess the type of boat and um and uh they call it swift boat veterans retreat I guess they were actually people who drove swift boats and um and now they were just you know probably like you know hanging out of the porno shop and like you know fucking trying to buy panties

off of fucking eBay um you know ones when the girls wear them for and they tell you they wore them for a couple of days and then they probably just you know whatever pit like spit on them just fucking take a piss on the panties but anyway those are the guys who buy that but they're also the guys who were in the swift boat veterans truth and uh whatever they fucking they had these ads and it worked i mean i don't know how it worked but it worked and they fucking they somehow took this guy who i mean he was like a war hero who came back and like threw his medals over the wall he was like he was hanging

with jane fonda i think you know he's one of those guys why they're on this tangent carry fucking swift boats numb I don't know but um you have Blair you know this whole fucking thing

with uh well we have gotten into this stupid war who knows it doesn't matter we'll move on the point is the royal family I don't know what they do they're getting together

you know they have some power but the queen does I don't think Charles has any fucking power I think Charles opens up like fucking Burger Kings over there like with a fucking ribbon and like you know cuts

like the goddamn ribbon And it's like, ah, this is a great thing. I mean, it's not that, of course. But, like, it's something like that, right? Like, it's a hospital maybe or, like, some fucking factory where they, where they fucking, you know, they take North. I mean, I was watching some doc about how fucking North Korea has fucking, they have slave, like, basically send slave labor over to Siberia and Russia. So, like, you know, basically do lumber, like cut trees down shit and send them to England. so maybe maybe that's what charles is doing maybe charles is like presiding over um you know the chinese slave

trees uh well the chinese i'm sorry nor korean nor korean slave trees i may look he's got to do something i don't know what these people like are these they they're from morale because here's a thing people seem some people seem to like them you know they have they have this whole uh arrow fucking you know the air of stock i don't know this is where do they make their money fucking opium they probably made their money, I'm pretty sure, like, they are involved in the opium trade. I mean, I don't know if it's, like, officially, I don't know if it's as concrete as, like, the CIA selling crack to the inner city, but I think it's pretty clear that the, the English royal family, along with the bushes, or they robbed in the Golden Triangle or something,

or some kind of shit, or Afghanistan. I mean, look, they were in Afghanistan, we're in Afghanistan. What do you think we're doing there? I mean, I don't got to tell you people. If you're listening to me, you probably know the fucking score in Afghanistan, you know, they were making, what, like, none of the no opium and then you know as soon as we started a fucking war in afghanistan and all the opium like literally 98% of the opium i mean it's you know that is that the machinations of prince charles i mean like if he's why not have him do it i mean like they have this labor it's not just them first of all you have like charles and the kids and you had diana but then she got killed um who who does by who maybe she's paparazzi maybe israelis who i mean i'm

I'm not really in on the, with a boat, Dodie Fayette. Was that guy? I mean, I don't know. Was he a Mossad guy? I don't even know. That was her boyfriend, right? Dodefayette? It doesn't matter. I'm not getting mired up in the fucking, you know, the stupid Prince Diana's shit. You know, she's just some slob who went over there. Like, I'm not like, look, Kate Hudson or whatever her name is, Middleton and fucking this one, Merkel, fucking, like, you even think they're nice people. They're probably. They're not even pleasant people, probably. yeah i could be wrong but i don't like it's a certain way you live your life i'm not gonna

fucking live my life on the assumption that some fucking girl who marries a prince is a nice girl she's probably i mean like markel's family's connected some i remember reading with it a while ago like they're not like fucking you know gutter trash people like diana wasn't gutter trash you know these people are part of like the circle of people you would date i don't know if merkel's part of that like you know in her i mean i think her mom was or something or dad They're connected. So my point is, like, these are people who would, like, you know, spray me with some kind of mace if I fucking, you know, ask for their autograph. They would not, they're not going to be, you know, they're not Princess fucking Mother Teresa.

I mean, I think there was, like, photo opes of fucking Diana, maybe with Mother Teresa or maybe, like, you know, like groping a sick child, not in a sexual way, but, you know, just helping him feel comforted. You know, some cave with fucking down, not down, what's leprosy? Some leper, you know, maybe she did something like that. I don't, I still don't buy it. I think they're fucking, you know, I'm not saying their money grubbing or anything. But, you know, I'll marry. I'll fucking, I'll take it in the ass from Prince Charles if I get to fucking ride around of Bentley. Why wouldn't I?

I mean, I'd be, that'd be an upgrade. Fucking, here, look, side note, if there's any people out here with connections to the royal family, I'm not, you know, whatever you want to do. Like, fuck me in the ass, you know, spit on my fucking. can dick, you know, flack me, flail me, flogging me, whatever, you know, make me eat your, make me eat your fucking stupid bangers and, you know, some weird blood sausage and then shiv it out, you know, for fucking, on some fucking, like a cam girl. I'll be a cam girl for the royal family.

Why not? Like, I'm saying, they'd have a lot of money, and they had these nice castles. They probably got the raw, is the Royal Child Castle in the Royal Family? Or is that still the Royal Child? Who knows? I mean, that's the thing. no one talks about the real we'll get the way you know but but whatever no one's worried about what the fucking fed chairman no one's worried about what Jerome Powell well you know

what's his kid doing his kid's fucking ugly probably some he doesn't have some beautiful biracial baby that fucking you know you know fucking parade about we'll throw a parade about we'll throw a parade for Jerome Powell's fucking stupid white kid no one wants you dumb white baby drone power you're just the fed chairman you just set the you're just the fucking guy with them in i mean look they used to say the fed chairman was the most powerful guy in you know country is that true anymore it seems like they've fucking given up a lot of the the leverage they have i mean they're basically just you know lackeys now you know like fucking vulgar took the you know paul voker you had high like i wasn't hyperinflation but you had stack inflation going on

in the 70s and uh you know in the eight really 80s, maybe he started in the 70 he basically said like, you know, an aggressive program of interest rates to like fucking take, you know, get the economy back on track and you know, you got to get the guy credit. But like that, you know, Jerome Powell's not doing that. He's fucking, Trump says one thing about, you know,

those are the interest rate. And he goes, okay, sir, he's a fucking cuck. He's, like, Jerome Powell. Fuck Jerome Powell. And like, fuck and fuck, what's the, you know, Greenspan, that fucking dork. That's fucking Iand. loving scumbag you know we'll get back to the world in a second but you know i got green span's

whole fucking free market horse shit like he the fact he was a fucking follower of vine rand and don't tell me that if you were any kind of libertarian-minded guy back in the 70s or 60s or whatever that you would have been a part of it you know no fuck that because god damn murray rock bard back then was you know he he was like in that circle for a minute and he remember we were some essay back then about the cult of vine right because you know like these people are just fucking bonkers. These fucking, you know, it doesn't take

a fucking genius to realize you getting scammed. That's why I got like a Rothbard. I mean, look, you're an anarcho-capulous shit. I've grown to believe it's not going to work.

I mean, what are you going to have a fucking, I got to pay for your fucking, I, you know, I want a cop to fucking, you know, uh,

what's the thing? Well, you know, what do I use the cops for? I've never called the cops in my life. It'd be funny if one of those women, we're talking about, know the idea of the police force can be privatized those women who like call the cops on like black

women for having barbecues like you have to call a private company i mean that's who's calling the cops i mean probably a lot of legitimate people people are in danger what am i talking about i'm you know it's i guess it's privilege that you know i don't have to fucking call the cops also i mean you know i've interacted with cops uh didn't go my way uh most of the time what was my point I mean, no one cares about Jerome Powell's stupid white baby. We want bi-rachel everything. Bi-racial babies, biracial fucking doctors, a nice biracial magician, you know, like anything.

It makes it better. People call me an SJW sometimes. I mean, it's a stretch, but whatever. If I support, you know, if my support for the biracial, um swaths swabs how do you say that people of this country if that makes me an s j w so be it because they're beautiful the beautiful uh but black people are beautiful too i mean you don't need to be

biracial but uh it's great to have this you know elite um just arcane uh you know seat of power this nexus of power be infiltrated biracially you know it's like yes they're like involved in the heroin trade. You know, like, it's inclusive, right? Like, yes, they were draining on the economy and they represent, you know, an aristocracy that, you know, has been responsible for, you know, slave trades and fucking, you know, colonialism and, you know, massive wars and just, you know, genocide,

maybe genocide, maybe with the Brits, but, you know, they did some damage. But it's inclusive now so it's nice right like don't worry about what the royal family represents it's fucking this is great right like we you don't need to change like why get rid of the royal family

people will say what are they doing what they doing there you waste your time just get a fucking biracial baby in the door and then everything is going to be fine all right I don't know what they do I mean look if they're there for morale why don't you do something from morale

Why don't you go fucking working at Denny's? What, what do they have? They have Denny's and Brickin? Whatever they got. They got a fucking, they have fishing chips. Why? Make them work in the post office. Because you have like fucking, you know, Charles and the kids.

But then you have like cousins and like, you know, all sorts of fucking, I don't know, aunts, uncles, you know, some guy who fucking lend some money to one of the Dukes like fucking 40 years ago. And now he's, uh, you know, he's fucking. Whatever. I mean, I can't get into the entrenchings. But make them all work for civil services, is my point. Make them all, like, make some guy, make, make, make, uh, what's, what's their name? Uh, what's a British name? Tom? Make, make Lord Tom go fucking be the guy who like, you know, when you gotta fucking, you know, get a, what they call that shit? Historectomy. Make them fucking give you pamphlets. Um, that's not a thing. What am I talking about?

What the abortion thing is? Make them work. the abortion the free abortion place make them make these people work at the uh look let them give tours people go in tours these stupid fucking places why are you hiring tour guides fucking to have these people show you around what else are you doing you're watching fucking you know stupid game of thrones you're seeing what real you're watching that garbage no you're not watching that garbage you have take because your people have taste you don't watch crappy game or thrones anymore. So give, you know, when I come to fucking Britain, and I fucking want to

see, you know, the Tower of London where you fucking, you know, you put political dissidents and fucking, uh, people who like spoke against the Church of England probably and, you know, anyone who was, you know, women who talked, you know, and you tortured them to death, whatever you did

in there, I want to see it. Why don't you let fucking Harry show me that? Harry can show me the Tower of London and then we can go get some bangers and mash. And then like, I could, like, you know, play of his biracial baby like do something for the people why not have them like host a like host make make them hope like it's one thing if they want to be a celebrity but they don't want that they don't want to be on tv so make them be on tv like make them be trashy bring it down to the

level of the people like make them write monologue jokes like don't even give them writers Give him, like, a shitty, a guy who was, like, you know, writing for, who's, who's, like, give me, like, one of Ellen's writers. I mean, like that show, if you like it, whatever, but like his daytime horseshit show, and maybe a Fox and Friends writer, you know, send them over the fucking across the pond, and then make them write edgy political fucking topical humor and go on TV and fucking bomb their ass. Like, let them do that. I mean, like, maybe it'll be good. Who knows? I'm saying, why not, like, make them fucking, um, make them proper. high-level prostitutes.

I mean, you can't force people into prostitution. But, I mean, I feel like Prince Charles, you know. I mean, he's been living on the largesse of the British state for, like, you know, his whole life. So why not, you know, people will pay good money. But, you know, fuck them. You know, some horny housewife wants to see what Diana had. You know, people over here love Diana. They fucking went crazy for this lady.

I don't know what she was about. She's looking at her hair was all big, like, puffing. I mean, you're attractive, I guess I never sort of fucking the American what they call it? You're the fucking people's princess She's a people's princess Well, how about you be the people's prince

And you jerk off a fucking You know, an old lady Who like, you know Because they were fantasized about it It should be, they were a little mad about Charlie I think he was cheating on her or something But whatever, they would like to fucking get their You know, their salad tossed

By the fucking, he'll never be king, right? Like he passed over him that guy's got to be I mean what's it about I guess he's just fucking probably taking a lot of like fucking perkinsettes all day and you know what does he do

what like isn't even fun I remember one time I fucking cleaned the house of a billionaire Chinese billionaire he was moving into his house in Long Island this high end house

my landlord at the time was a guy who commercially cleaned houses and uh he got his eagland this gig and I'm cleaning this house which is like fucking a hundred years old a mansion a legit mansion

uh it was like it was like it was like the oyster bay cove or something of course a bridge and uh it's like the the fucking the goddamn walls like covered in like a weird like a velvety thing almost like if the furniture is all like pretty

but like it's not comfortable I mean I'm not trying to say the rich don't have it good but it just seemed a little bit like is it fun the guy like Charles like does he go out and get horrors and fucking, you know, just get drunk and do a bunch of coke and fucking, is he shooting, you know, people on the streets? Is he going, is he, is he shooting men?

Is he doing that whole thing? Is he, like, going to some island where he gets to hunt people? Like, what does he do? Does he watch TV? Is he into a really dark porn? Like, no, you know, like dirty porn, like fucking, you know, like shit and, like, you know, spatulas and fucking putting the kind of egg beater up your ass. I'm just saying

Like do you what is he Like I'm not like fucking feeling bad for him But like you live his whole life Where you fucking It's just duty But it's a meaningless duty It's a duty of like Just kind of showing up

Why not fucking like Work at the Waffle House And just hand me a fucking omelet And then like I can enjoy that omelet And talk to him about my life And all the dead bodies I've seen And he can tell me all the people he's killed Like this is some I don't know

I'm just saying we could do something with this guy of the immoral family. I don't know what the baby's name is. They want to name it something that conjures the America and Britain at the same time. So I don't know. Imperialism, just named the baby emperor.

Why are we fucking, if you're going to be a fan of royals, I mean, why don't you go follow a royal family that actually does something? Go look at Saudi Arabia. I mean, I don't condone what they do, But, I mean, you know, look, Game of Thrones is, like, a usually popular show because, you know, there's action. Why are you following the only royal family that doesn't, I mean, not the only, but all these royal families, Denmark and Copenhagen and the same thing probably, but, you know, Prince of Monaco.

All these people just do nothing about, like, they're not even tan. They don't even, like, they're going to fucking Spain and getting a tan. They're all pasty and white. Why don't you go fucking follow Saudi Arabia? They're killing journalists and the fucking, you know, they got, they got a hit, squads going around, just shooting people. They're forcing women to drive now. Like, you know, and then they're arresting them for, probably.

You know, what was? I mean, fun stuff. I mean, look, I'm not saying that Saddam Hussein was a good guy. Clearly, wasn't great. But, I mean, Uday and Husei, awful people. I mean, like, they tortured. They would go, like, show up at, like, you know, a wedding and, like, killed a groom, I think. and kidnap the bride

and raped them and kill them torture them it's horrendous it's a crime against humanity it's terrible but it's a lot more interesting than fucking whatever hell like you know Edward's doing right now what's he what's Edward doing fucking you know showing

putting a bonnet on a stupid you know his white kid well you know his brother's got some great biracial kid he's like he's got some bonnet he's like let's go fucking feed some ducks or whatever and like you know as a family and they all go out and like he's got to stare at his stupid pasty white children with his dumb white wife

well fucking harry the fucking the fighter pilot the hero gets to fucking just flawn his biracial wife and his biracial babies his wife is well she might be biracial also i forget but you know she's black let's just say she's black but the kids are biracial and she's great everyone's fucking applauding them no one applauded i mean everyone was happy that you know edward put this fucking dumb load in some woman and now it's like, oh, we're going to have another. Keep the royal line going, great. But this is a biracial royal.

What's the problem? We got to get Edward out. Is it Edward? Am I getting the right? It's Prince Edward, right? It doesn't matter. Harry, Edward. Whatever.

The one is going to be king. Get them out of there. We need a biracial king. That's what no one gets. This is where we're going. We need to get some, you know, this is the real game. Why don't, can the people impeach the king? because here it's based in theory on the fact that, like, you know, the people are sovereign, which isn't, no, no, but, you know, that's the idea at least.

But over there, like, they only don't even pretend. It's just like, no, like, power rests with the queen or the king. So there's no way to fucking, I mean, you're not going to petition the stupid, you know, old, that old bat. You have better luck getting the fucking Vatican to, like, you know, feel bad for, you know, raped kids than you would for getting that old woman to, I mean, she, you know, she likes the biracial grand kid, but she's not going to, like, fucking. you know leapfrog edward out of there but that'd be great i mean we we have like you know i don't know was it going to do anything probably i mean it'd be great if he fucking just like came out and like actually did you know like reverse the tables and like you know enslaved the white people in britain and like kind of gave everything back to africa that it took

and then south america whatever they took it'd be amazing it'd be amazing they were applauding this biracial baby but that's not the way things work but it'd be nice if you know the things they are I mean I guess we can't really judge the racial history of England given our transgressions in America

but uh you know it's uh it's a shame speaking of kinks uh Game of Thrones you know I'm not going to go to a whole street or maybe I will see how I feel but it's just it's a it's a terrible show now

I mean it really I was on this shit from the get-go I binged the first series First season on HBO On Demand back, you know Like this right after it came out And I was like I was hooked I love the deconstructionist thing

And the fucking and the character It was just great I mean I'm not gonna sell you on Game of Thrones I'm just saying It's amazing We're not gonna dissect the whole night Do I care to or I'm not gonna spoil Whatever I mean if you don't

Spoiler alert If you don't want to hear about Game with Thrones I mean, fuck, what you're doing here? You know, if you can't afford HBO go, you can't find him on a password, you're going to watch it one day. What do you work at a hospital, and you fucking, you know,

you're working night shifts and double shifts to pay for your kids' education, and you fucking, you get spit on by fucking, you know, like junkies and fucking, you know, prostitutes all day, and you don't have time to watch it. I mean, that's reasonable, but, you know, whatever. That's your spoiler alert.

But, I mean, I don't care to fucking, Ari. I mean, Ari is great. Always is my favorite character. She's fucking phenomenal. It's, you know, it's not about, it's not people even going like, well, why didn't John Snowfo? You know, Ari didn't have this.

They like Aria, but she shouldn't have killed Night King because fucking, you know, it wasn't her arc. And like, I don't even give a shit about that. Here's the, you hear all these fucking guys on YouTube. And they're interesting, they captivate you with all their theories about what went wrong, what went right, and why Ryan Johnson

sucks. Star Wars and it's like yeah I mean a lot of it's you know valid and I in the past I've gone you know against the Star Wars guys I you know my my initial thing was that it wasn't a great movie but who you're why are you still watching Star Wars and I still stand by that but I will grant that the movie's probably worse than I was admitting or not admitting I can give a shit but you know agreeing to uh earlier but the point is like it's the moral of this is like anything can work if you just make if you do it right if you sell it like Avengers Endgame that was never the biggest MCU guy but I like what they were doing I fucking infinity war is a great

movie and I won't spoil end game because it's fucking great but you know they fucking they did they nailed it and it's like things that could be plot holes there's things that could be loose threads but you know I I've never I don't think I've ever been as emotional in a movie and I'm not like I get the irony but the fucking shame of like you know you're crying in a comic I get it I get the atrocities of the world I understand I know Navy SEAL shoots

6 year old girls in the face I get it But yeah this movie It just it did it right Why did it game Why did fucking Forrest Gump make me tear up When I was a kid

Because they sold it They fucking It's a fucking These guys Oh no one gets it on you They're like Oh God damn

You missed the market It's not None of this shit about like The fucking The plot threads And not and not doing fan service and not and not ignoring you know things that you brought up

five years ago that doesn't matter I mean it'd be nice if they did that and the best shows do do that but it's the most important thing and what they've done terribly in this fucking season it's just not made well it's like it's not paced well it's not written well I mean you know you could build

tension while still doing something that like you know is not in lines with the books and you go well it's kind of and you you go you go that's the gripe no it's just not good it's terrible and the only way it's not bringing it up it's remarkable for a long time it's a huge show i mean i don't know it's i think it's the biggest show on tv and uh for a while it was like you know it was it was fascinating you go like this is a really good show for a while it's interesting

it was like it was deconstructive of like myths and fucking medieval shit and like it's you know it's a lot of death and it's tits and shit but like you know it's it's kind of it's a mature you know plot that like takes his time and they fucking you know weaves this whole intricate and like it's nuance and even like the the finance stuff like the what they call the Iron Bank

like it's not the most you know intricate fucking plot points but like they they pay at least like I've never seen anything in medieval like you know fiction or whatever not on a big buff of medieval fiction or fantasy fiction but I've seen anything paid you know any kind of real heed to like the financial element of it

and you know and the concerns of you know money capital it is it was remarkable because i was wondering like all these people like you know smarter than i thought they were and like are they fucking more like sophisticated maybe i'm i think i'm not a legal leader this but yeah i just think most people are dumb or just willfully dumb just because like when you talk to them then you go go try to have an intelligent conversation with like you know most people it's just not going to have any people and they have it in them they just don't want to they've been for lack of a better they're not brainwash but you know look you give most people and i you give me and i

I'll fucking play with an iPod or iPad for fucking, you know, a year, too. I mean, I played an iPod for two years of the morning. It's great. I get it. I like my Switch. I like fucking video games. So, I mean, I'm not really above it, but, you know, these people, like, you know, maybe they're better.

And it's like, no, now, because you watch, like, the amount of people who are growing, like, you know, about the fucking the night battle scene where no one gets to see anything, which is, like, you know, legitimate gripe, but also there's a bad, it's just a stupid episode. I don't get into the details. but even have people who are like, but at least, you know, I found it entertaining. That's the weird thing. You have a lot of people shitting on it,

but even the people who are shitting on YouTube, not the real hardcore, like, you know, guys who, like, you know, shit on everything or tear things apart, but a lot of, like, the middle-tier guys, and look, why am I watching these guys? Maybe you don't spend a lot of time watching YouTube. Yeah, I watch it at work.

I understand that's, you know, because I used to be in position of why are you even watching these guys and listening to them. It's just on, it's a, it's a guilt, not guilty, I guess a guilty pleasure. I hate saying it like that. But it's a vice. I should fucking,

I should not do it. But, you know, these middle tier guys, they're the critique in the episode, we go, but, you know, I'm still entertained.

I don't, and I'm like, how are you entertained by something that's, you know, this, like, like,

a qualitative shift that's so large. And I realized, oh, like, they weren't watching the same show. Again, I'm not trying to be a snob,

but like, the interest, what's interesting about is the HBO. HBO for years has been able to make incredibly mature and like I'm not talking about every show they make but I mean like you know

like movie like these HBO films like you know too big to fail recount or like back on the doomsday gun with Frank Langella about this guy Richard Bull who sold a huge artillery guns at you know Saddam and he was probably killed by Mossad like these are kind of movies the Pentagon Wars they made a movie out of the Pentagon Wars

which is a book that like it's like colonel in the air force wrote about like just you know the insane culture of like spending in the pentagon like it made like a fiction look at it's great it's Kelsey Grammer and fucking Kerry Always phenomenal movie they've been making these movies for years I mean not to mention all like a true crime like the not true crime brother but you know the Phil Spectre movie

and the fucking Liberace movie like they make like you know you wonder what their business model is because they're able to do this stuff and insulate I mean it made the wire for Christ's sake I mean the wires you know one of the greatest pieces of fiction ever made it's like and like it didn't you know it ended well it didn't jump to shark like this fucking stupid show did but

and that's and that's where the show started the show started in that HBO and then it became a huge phenomenon and so now you're seeing these people like so it's like you know what is even the point like you know people are complaining about the inclusiveness of the show now because they killed off

a lot of the black characters and stuff like I mean why the forced inclusiveness I don't know I mean should there be more ideally yes I don't know I don't know if you can force it mean perhaps you can force it but you look at a show like the wire and like I remember watching I used to watch the wire and we're seeing like articles about like you know it's such a great thing for you know black actors you know this is all black mostly black cast and it even occurred to me you're black. I might as far as I'm colorblind or you know

want to see color but like it didn't occur to me that was like because it was just organically I mean even like it wasn't just the criminal was the cops or half of them were black and there's you know great character they're great characters and it's like because you know I think David Simon is just a you know and those people who made this show and I'm not saying they're perfect but they fucking you know

they want first of all the city has a lot you know it's largely black city and they wanted to make it you know representative and they wanted to you know be true I mean that's thing that writing used to be about like finding truth and now it's like I don't it's a I mean I'm not saying it's not you know

it's not missing right like I'm not saying there's like tons of black characters and shit and you shouldn't worry about it but it should it used to be something you would hope that the writer would do on his own just be to be authentic and to get more voices because why aren't there more black people I get that

that being said this force inclusive shit I mean it's just it's just if you're doing if you have to do that odds are the show probably sucks, all right? The show probably isn't very, you know, I mean, most great shows

I've watched, I mean, like, maybe not at the West Wing. Did they have any black people in the West? Yeah, the Deulay Hill. I mean, look, he wasn't the he was Charlie. He was the assistant to the president, but the chairman of the Joint Chiefs was black and some other people were black. I mean, the main cast wasn't you know, there's one black guy in the main cast.

I don't know, I mean, but it's better than a lot of it. It's better than NCIS, I think. I mean, they probably have a black guy in that show. A lot of these shows, my hair is to watch this shit, NCIS and CSI. Not many, I mean, there's probably some black people, but, like, I don't know. I'm just saying the odds are most of it's trash. Do you want to be included in the trash? I guess you do is what I'm getting at.

I guess it's better to be included in the trash. It just seems like, I don't know what the answer is, but this show, this show is terrible. It's gotten off to a real, uh, I don't know. I don't get a little game of Thrones around and more for inclusive this but just you know

how about you'll learn you know don't just shove like these people there's some like algorithms I heard something this week there's some software in the Hollywood now

I don't know if it's being used by anyone but like where it'll look at your script and use algorithms to determine how inclusive it is and if you want to be inclusive right if you're like

which you should and it should you know but like if you want to be inclusive and you need a fucking script to tell you if you're like what are you doing all right like just make good stories of real people include people who aren't just white men which people are doing but like you're going to shove it in or officially like why not make an authentic i mean what is an authentic black character though i mean there it is though i mean there is something it's not just it people are different people have differences you know

so get them right just get it right i'm not i'm not i I think the counter argument would be that they're not getting it right and we have to force them to do it and that's the shame maybe they do maybe that's the thing these people these people are stubborn

and you would think that this fucking Hollywood I mean I think I don't know what the end game is as far as how much representation for instance blacks

I mean what percentage of population is it relative to the percentage of the population or fucking you know this i mean these are questions that like people troll like trolling will ask i'm not i'm not i'm not even asking them i'm saying like that doesn't really like reality it's like just do more just do more but do it good do it fucking good do it like the wire do it like fucking other good shows uh but not game of throws terrible um yeah i don't know how you can you know just just pick aside like shows you know you you watch a show for years you got beat

all right you know the fucking who still entertained me no it didn't all right you hated it and if he didn't you know more power to you I don't get what you're watching it for but whatever the dragons

you know great dragons there were some other stories going on I'm looking at my phone real quick you know but somebody were Trump and his taxes we're going to talk about that Trump and his taxes

oh the Sonic the Hatchok thing you know this Hatchok I don't know if you're heard, but they have the trailer for the Sonic to Hedgehog movie, and people were kind of aghast at how

the character character design of Sonic, what he looked like. I mean, look, he looks grotesque. I was never a Sonic fan. I didn't have Genesis growing up, I had a Super Nintendo. I had a game gear, which had Sonic, so I didn't really play it much. It was a game gear, by the way, it was the kind

of thing where it seemed cool, like, you know, it used the battery life, you know, and the fucking, it was big, whether I should have got the Game Boy. But the point is, I don't care about Sonic. I'm surprised they still make Sonic games. I don't give a shit. But, like, you know, it did look stupid.

And, you know, they released this fucking trailer. And people go, you know, shitting all it. You know, it's a cynically made CG, you know, fucking movie about some franchise, you know, that existed for 30 years and it's all they make now. so of course people are going to shit on it and then they're trashing it

some guy made a post like some Instagram post or something or Reddit post where like he basically mocked up his own version of Sonic and looked great much like you know even I was like oh yeah it is what Sonic looks like as much you know they made this thing to a humanoid freak uh it were like weird hands

and fucking teeth like oh that is like why don't know so interestingly the filmmaker I guess the director saw that that heard of the complaints and he tweeted out like yeah we heard of your complaints uh and yeah because it's backlash we're gonna fucking you know we're gonna redo it we're gonna redo it we're six months left and we're redo the character and like people the contingent of people who were

like outraged at like the backlash which i get because like in my first thing to think it's like what do you give a shit it's like and made for it's made for kids what they're saying but like sure it's made for kids why we say about star wars fans and shit um i don't know what kids you're making a Sonic movie for though I mean I don't think I don't want to see this movie it's not made for me even if I was a Sonic fan I wouldn't like I don't want to see

some re-treaded fuck I didn't give a shit that Michael Bay read the Triton Ninja Turtles and Charles is a big part of my fucking childhood I don't need to see Ninja Turtles I'm not one of these guys I mean the Lady Ghostbusters was garbage but I didn't I'm not mad because of like I'm just I'm annoyed that you know people even want like a legitimate sequel with like

the fucking male characters. Like, who gives a shit? It's 20 years ago. Like, stop. Like, so I'm not saying that. But, like, who you, some kid? What kid's playing Sonic? I mean, maybe fucking 10 of them. Like, fucking, you know, because the brother bought, like, the, we fucking the, the, the, this, the Genesis classic

or whatever. Who the fuck? Is it still relevant? Why? I mean, I don't side note, I don't know, like, some of these fucking franchises, like, I get, like, you don't want to risk money. But, like, how much of a guaranteed payday is some franchise that has no track record in films and like isn't particularly relevant with the young

kids now maybe there's some fucking crazed sonic i don't think so i don't think this franchise is ripe to be exploited uh for kids whatever but like you know so sure it's for kids but also like it's not making trash for kids um but also it's a it's a trash movie that's why i don't care why like oh like you know you're driving a vision what vision they're making some cynical fucking money grab like if they want a fucking you know this isn't like so much you know copla changing apocalypse now because people were troubled by the fucking curts and and fucking you know him getting cut open like a fucking like a like a like a goat at the end you know really see it's not graphic but i mean you know whatever i mean where his er is his patty was the fact that he was shitting himself

during the filming of Apocalypse now that's what I've heard and my point is it's not artist this is the fucking this is some horse shit like you know movie so like

stop with the body it's who let them fucking remake it let them remake who gives it I'm like let the fans have this you know

let the fans like you know let them focus on things like this instead of like you know Leslie Jones and whoever the fuck you know

and shitting on you know this wasn't like something where they were like you know threatening people and doxing people it's like you know oh grow up what you care i mean

i get it it's like a shitty movie but it's like who the fuck do you think it's made for it's made for fucking these slobs who are talking about it there's a love like don't just be default too cool for the room go hey it's a kid's movie shut the fuck up you can still be critical of kids movies right

used to be good kids movies it probably still as a couple now but like you know the fact that you would fucking take this you would just take your kids to see this fucking trash this rat fucking running around like some fucking garbage and fucking homeless rat and he's just fucking shit all over himself you're like look son that's this is great you know you don't listen to what your mother tells you i love you you and i'll always be there for you and like he's fucking you know that's what you do with your kid

you fucking terrible parent you fucking you know you may not molest your kid but you're just you're just terrible you fucking you know is that's a bar really is that what you would say hey at least I'm not molested my kid That's what he probably tells me Like hey, I know I'm a shit You know, I may not be the best dad But at least I don't dittle him Like that can't be the bar

That can't be You can't just be like Well, you know I'll take my kid to Sonic But I won't fuck him in the mouth No Like you fucking You know

Find some good quality I mean show them a never-running story at least Something something decent I don't know what's a good kid's movie Maybe we'll compile a list For what No what I care if you want to fucking you know tweet at me uh quality you know kids films that you know parents can

we have a cumplist of fucking you know things you can bring to your kids instead of uh the sonic movie um instead of diddling them you know maybe just prevent some you know uh abuse i mean i don't make light of abuse but i mean you know the catholic church doesn't do anything we might as well try something um so we'll make it well you know maybe we'll make some films that will help you know i don't know better parents and less less abuse less dittling whatever i'm not a fucking scientist well you know the science they did i'm not going into details but those whoever is scientist they figured out a way to get salt out of water like a new way i didn't get a chance to read the article maybe next week we'll update on that that's very interesting that's a

nice thing no one's talking about the nice shit is happening it's a positive thing we found new way to desalinate water maybe you know we can just you know i can i can you know drink uh salt water uh finally which i like to do i like the taste of salt water um they tell me you die i believe them but i would love to fucking just uh well guess it's not what this is they're taking the salt out of the water i want to be able to drink salt water can aside just figure that out for me i want to drink salt water and like you know i like the idea of like all these little like you know fish and stuff shitting into the water in the ocean fucking it's fascinating to me i like the idea of just like i mean i'll i get a tapeworm but whatever i mean you know we're getting off on the tangent here

that's uh all the time we have today uh i should read my patreon though um you guys have been you know phenomenal uh i know i keep like a deadbeat dad saying we're gonna do this we're gonna make new content it's in the works i got a lot of things going on um you guys are patient You will be the first among, you know, Meek Shall Inherit the Earth or some shit. Diane Cage, Brit Poundown Town, Michael Ricardo, Richard Hofstetter, Jason Dubroville, Gary Barberville, Ryan LaRocke, Keith Veronese, and Eric Frankel, and last but not least, Julian Assange. Thank you so much for your support. It's a troubling time for you, but you're still, you know, making the donations.

and, you know, it's reciprocal. We're going to help out Julian Assange. You know, you comp, you comp heads, you cum, whatever, we haven't need a name for you guys. But we're going to band together because he supported me with my podcast. I want to support Julian Assange. But we'll get to, we'll figure out of the way.

You're going to follow me. You follow me on Twitter at Ray Kump. Instagram also at Ray Kump. Also, our love is disgusting. if you're not checking it out yet it's a phenomenal podcast uh me and lucy steiner uh we talk about sex and relationships

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we're too funny people and we put the jokes with the comedy first you know don't worry about it I'm not going to fucking break down percentage points for you but it's fucking hilarious it's one of the best things ever done i'm very proud of it you know tune into that and um you know i'll uh see you all next week have a great week