Kump - 2 - A Second Chance to Be a Dirtbag

Episode Date: January 10, 2019

Ray does some unsolicited ad reads for major corporations, critiques a picture of a dead deer, and attempts to figure out how he can exploit the auto-finance bubble.

The Conjuring Last Rites On September 5th I come down here in your house Array! Array! Array! Array! The Conjuring

Last Rites, only in theater September 5th, Bridget R. Thank you for tuning in. the second episode of Kump. Welcome. There is no theme song yet, but we're working on that. It's coming soon. But at least I can say the name Kump.

If you listen to last weeks, I didn't even say it. I just start talking because I wasn't even sure we're going to keep that name. It's an unsettling name. To me, that's me. I mean, it's my name. I've had for years, but, you know, I think it sounds weird. If you don't know what it is, you know, people are going to look at and go, is this some kind of a German disease or, you know, a Russian computer virus from like the 80s.

I don't know. It's, uh, it wasn't also, uh, it wasn't wrong. I mean, there was a potential I might have had the shit.

Because it took a while for the iTunes to process, you know, for to get approved on the iTunes to do like five days. Uh, miss time that one a little bit, but it's on there now. It's fine. But when I was to search it,

it wasn't showing up. It was showing up like, you type in Kump and like the word jump with like everything with the word jump would come up. Like, a fucking NBA podcasts and like some podcast with some podcast with some guy. jumping off a large building because his wife cucked them too many times or whatever like that's the kind of it didn't even process the cump with the name and and i don't blame look i'd rather listen to the guy jumping off the building podcast that sounds fun like every week a different

guy you know first he was into the cocking but now it's just too much and now he's just going to jump off a bill like that i should make that podcast but the point is it worked out because i just had the it was all caps before now it's just regular so it shows that up you can find it. I mean, you're here. You found it. So welcome. You guys are early adopters. I appreciate you tuning in. We're still in the early stage of this. We're going to evolve this whole thing. It's going to be a... We have guests soon. We've got things where you can, you know, typing questions. You can ask me.

I don't talk about them on the podcast. I mean, maybe I can even figure out of how to get calls. So I mean, I'm in my apartment right now. So that's not really... I'm not in a studio where I can call them and whatever. But I'd like to do some kind of dialogue with you people really get to the bottom of some of these issues but uh yeah there's exciting times uh it's also where you know in the future we might have some ad reads here in this section in the beginning you know i don't have the numbers yet again it's a new thing we don't have the numbers yet to get you know companies to hand over some money for me to hock their products uh which is like you know a little short-sighted maybe i mean yeah you want

here's brass tax you corporate people listening Yeah, you want me to have a... What you want? 100,000 people listen to me for I can sell your toothpaste. Any idiot can fucking read a script, you know, livery. I've done it before.

They gave you these scripts and it's like, hey, you know, did you ever fucking have a toothpick? And you couldn't find it. Buy our toothpicks. A toothpick.com. And like, we have 50 flavors of toothpicks. And, like, you know, you improvise and make it your own.

But like, any idiot can do that. But when you ask him afterwards, the guy does it, who runs the ads at the studio, like, does he'm actually buying this shit? He's like, I don't think so. No. It's all black box. It's all like,

what I imagine was like in the 2000, like, 19, 2000, where it was in the stock market bubble back then? He had like, price line.com and pets.com. Everyone's like, how does this make money? And we're like, shut the fuck up. Don't worry about how it makes money. It was like, all right. And it all fell apart.

I feel like that's happening. Because you got all these guys who were like, you know, you got comedians and people who, you know, talk about serial killers all day and it's like sell shit they're not salesmen these aren't sales is a fucking brutal world

and you know you have to have a certain you know kind of core just you know depravity to do sales I mean you can be you have to be an evil person but you have to have a certain darkness in your heart to pull to close a deal and I've done sales

I mean I've done you know before the morgue before the prison before the fucking mosquito lab I I did sales I was a deal closer You know people think I've mumbled too much Maybe I've said I got it done I would I would basically confuse people a lot by like Give them a lot of technical detail

But it would trust me and it worked out I mean like in once you get you know They buy anything because you're just babbling about like you know Resolution and filter size and all these you have only specs and whatever So at my point He's just weird a weird way to do Because you don't need I don't need numbers You know some podcasts got 15,000

because they're talking about how Jeffrey Dahmer and Charles Manson what would happen if they met in some anime. I don't know everyone's obsessed with serial killers, right? I don't know what those guys are doing and what kind of numbers they're giving you. But you give me

100 listeners, a close 85 of them, all right? That's my, that's what we're going to do here. I'm going to actually do ad reads. I'm going to do the live reads without any approval from the companies. I'm just going to do them with actual companies. I'm going to fucking do the ads.

I'm going to send it to them. And, hey, I'm going to try and fucking strong on them and say, hey, I've already done the ads. You owe me those money. And, you know, that may or may not work. They probably have legal departments. They might actually, you know, try and sue me, so it might not turn out well.

But, you know, I think they'll admire the chutzpah, for lack of a better word, the aggression. And they might, you know, say, hey, this guy, it means business. Let's fucking, let's go into business with them. Right? So, I'm going to a few of them. Monsanto.

I think it's a good one to start with. People talk a lot of shit about Monsanto. This is what the reason to be. People talk about that shit about Monsanto, right? Everyone's talking about how they're poisoning the world. That they're fucking, you know, they're trying to, like, you know, to turn us into an enslaved race

with their seeds that don't last more in the year. And, oh, they're always splicing, you know, like rodent DNA into our vegetables and their salads. Like, why should a tomato have rat DNA? And it's like, you know, and a tomato should, people tell you this weird shit like you know tomato

it should look like a fucking you know it shouldn't have it should be natural and should be tasted you have a fresh tomato it tastes so good you could just people people sometimes will just take a tomato and put salt on it and they'll eat the tomato like an apple first of all if you do that you're disgusting

regardless of the taste I mean the texture of that the bite into an apple of something where it's like it's like a fuck it's watery and it's like a pustule tomato a tomato A tomato has a certain role they can fulfill But to eat like an apple And have it's like pus fall over your pants

Like so much menstrual fluid Like that's not dignified You don't want that Have you been to a farm by the way I mean because they'll tell you The other farm is front These tomatoes look like shit first of all Natural tomatoes

All right A natural tomato is all misshaping And it's like It's got like he's like yellow spot and they're faded. It's kind of sickening for it. I don't care what kind of... A tomato is there for what?

To fucking put it on a burger. You know, you put it on a goddamn salad. I don't want my burger to taste like a goddamn, you know, one of these fucking cherry tomato pies they make in a fucking deli. No, I want a bird. It's just there to be a little bit of wetness. There's just a wetness.

It's only needed a tomato. It was a wetness. All right. And you eat with your eyes first. You watch any chef show, any food network shows. They always tell you that. That's why you don't just fucking have some chef handing you goulash and some bowl that they were using to, like, clean a toilet with. You know, they fucking put on a nice plate, and they dress it up.

Because you see things and you go, I want to eat that. That's how food eating works. So I'd rather have a tomato that tastes like nothing, but looks beautiful. So, yeah, put some rat DNA. Look, you're not eating a rat. You're eating a tomato. just had right DNA in it, so whatever. Stop being a fucking...

You don't understand science, don't worry about it. So, Monsanto, see? There you go. I don't need a fucking promo code. I don't need a goddamn script. You just fucking... You make the deal. I don't know, this is what... They're going to pay me for that.

They're going to give me at least... What should I ask for? 500 for that? Like, 500 per? That's, like, a reasonable thing. I mean, that's just... All right. Scott toilet paper. This is something. You don't see toilet paper advertised very often. Never, I've never heard advertise on a podcast as all. But you'll, you'll see Charmin advertise. And there's another

one. There's a couple different two-ply ones, right? There's a Charmin, which I think is a bear. There's one with a kid maybe. I don't know. But there's always this soft-ass toilet paper. I never had that growing up. We didn't have soft two-ply toilet paper. That's not, I mean, we had a cesspool. In the Low Island, you have a cesspool typically. I was told by my parents that, you know, it clogged up. If you have a cesspool, you can't use two-ply. It'll clog up the cesspool, you'll jam, it'll flood, and you have, like, you know,

just rivers of shit coming in. And I don't think that's true. I think in hindsight, they just were cheap or they just didn't want, you know, they were also nervous about, you know, things. They would see things on TV. I wasn't allowed to run my bike very far because, you know, Satanic people would, you know,

kidnap me or, you know, there was a little bit of, you know, the 19th 80s hysteria when I was a baby and they bought into that and I don't blame them I mean they were trying their best but they didn't buy me to soft toilet paper and I'm happy about that because honestly if I go to someone's house now and they have this

like soft shaman or whatever two-ply I was like why are you trying this hard what do you why like how weak are you that you're trying this hard to impress me it's a sound of weakness because like you know it's excessive I mean first of all I don't need something that soft

on my ass my age my angels are already soft. Like, I don't need two soft things. It's like, you know, it can take a little roughness of the total of Scott. Scott's rough. But, like, you know, my ass is soft. So it's like it works out. Don't need that. And, like, and I don't want

to see you to base yourself by putting out this very soft toilet paper for me. It's kind of, it's almost like you're cucking yourself. It's like, you know, it's like, no, just have some dignity. Like, have a firm handshake. That's what Scott. Scott toilet paper. It's a firm handshake.

And don't fucking, you know, extend this to think you can just buy some one-ply store brand. Because, no, because that's trash. If you think, oh, no one's going to see the thing because you're pulling a roll, and no one's going to see what brand it is. Two things, hey, you're going to have a fucking roll under, if you don't have a roll under the sink to be safe, then you're worse, you're subhuman because you need, like, someone's going to, like, run out of toilet paper at your cheese party, and you're going to fucking, you know, not have, no, you put an extra roll under the sink.

That's standard. that's accepted and they're going to look there anyway if they don't need it they're going to look there and you're going to see you look with a store that's pathmark brand toilet paper that you borrow shopping stop toilet paper they're going to think you're trash all right you're not going to get the promotion

so just buy Scott see that's great this is like custom made I don't need like they should like they're coming to me for the ads why would they write ads I write the ads for them this is so much better

This is Coca-Cola. There we go. Do you ever see Coca-Cola advertising a pot? No. They barely, the only pod advertisers do you see, they still do the polar bear thing? No, it's 20 years old, probably. I don't even know what they do.

They don't even advertise anymore. They should, because they got Pepsi. People talk about Pepsi. I mean, they did a Pepsi challenge back in the day. You know, people couldn't tell the difference. Some people could. I got some kind of license to chill car. There was a promotion because I figured out the difference between Coke and Pepsi

in a blind trial at some fucking weird craft fair on the... What was it? Babel on the island somewhere and,

uh, but really at the end of the day it's like they taste basically the same, right? No cares. Like, you've been to a restaurant

and like, oh, we only have coke. We only have coke. We only have Pepsi. You don't give a shit. But here's the thing. It's about perception.

All right? Now you don't, you might think, oh, you spend years now, Pepsi really They sell, look You go to Taco Bell

Right Taco Bell slash Pizza Hut Only sell Pepsi, right? They only sell Pepsi, right? They only sell it. All these are the fucking Pop-byes, I think. They only sell Pepsi. Like Pepsi is the thing you get at the trashy fast food place

That's fucking, you know, they own Frito Lay. They're just Just, it's just all I think the own Mountain Dew. I'm not a class person. I'm not trying to divide America into like classes, but you know, you don't have to be a rich man to not be, you know, a trashy Taco Taco Bell's, it's not good. It's Coca-Cola, what are they doing? What do you think of

when you think of a cold? I was watching the Wonder Years and the other day on YouTube. I'm surprised because one year is actually better than you would think. And there's like this, the hippie guy is talking to the dad, the hippie boyfriend of the girl talking to dad about Vietnam. The dad's like, I went to Korea, my friends died. And the hippies all, you know, they died to, you know, they could sell the people Coca-Cola and all this shit. It was like, basically, about, you know, the core military industrial complex.

And I was surprised that the one of the years was, you know, you watch kids' shows now. It's all just, you know, these young, trashy kids, you know, making their parents feel bad because they're, you know, they're not like, it's just, whatever. It was a sophisticated show for the time. But the point is, yeah, Coca-Cola. It's wrapped up in that idea of, like,

the American Empire of, like, colonialism, which is like, you know, it's loaded and it's not great, you know, no one wants to think they're part of an empire, but, you know, the people carrying out these coups in, you know, in Iran, for instance, 59, Kermit Roosevelt, you know, cousin of the president, FDR. I mean, classy people is my point. People in high society. And, you know, would he ever drink Coca-Cola? No, he would, no, that's disgusting. He would not. He would not. you wouldn't be seen. He's probably just drinking. It's an alcoholic probably. They all are. But, you know, it's still, they're not over, they're not toppling

South American, you know, governments to sell Pepsi. It's Coca Cola. That's the move, right? We're not saying Coca Cola. That,

that, that, that, people are afraid in advertisements to bring up the darker things about a company. I don't agree with that. I think, you know, if you're going to bring up

if you're going to be selling something for IBM IBM we got this new Watson AI bring up the fact that they had they were helping the Holocaust happen they were basically they were working with the Nazis to like build punch card computers to find the Jews they could put them into concentrate bring it up you know cut them off at the head

people this is the internet's out there you can't trick people anymore so like you know just when you're doing an ad read always bring up the worst thing a company's done just fucking you know I think also Coca-Cola was involved with it. Like, Fanta has something to do with the Nazis. I think, like, basically

with Germany, they couldn't get the Coca-Cola syrup anymore, so they just made Fanta, and then magically Fanta became part of Coca-Cola after the war again, which is like, you know, Coca-Cola claims that they weren't getting profits during the war, but I don't know. I mean, we'll touch on it. We'll have a whole episode

about American companies funding the Third Reich later on on the timeline. But no, but, so, I'm going to send these out to the companies, and we're going to get some... I'm going to let you know how this goes, but I'm feeling pretty confident. I want to put this out there.

I'm going to move it on from the Edwards. I'm going to put this out there. If you're going to go on social media, and if you're going to show a picture of a dead deer that you shot, can you do me... Can you clean the blood? This might not be a big issue. I don't see a lot of people posting pictures

of carcasses of animals that they've killed. I'm not against hunting, by the way. I haven't done it. I've had guns in the past. I've shot guns. I like guns. I think they're cool.

I mean, you know, I'm for, whatever, I'm open-minded to regulations or whatever the fuck is. That's not the point of this. I'm saying, I'd like to try hunting sometime.

I haven't done it yet. But I don't know what standard. But I'm watching this fucking deer and I'm like, this blood just falls down to the ground. I'm like, I don't have experience hunting. have experience is a morgue though I was a morgue photographer and I know rule one you don't

fucking take pictures with blood and shit and piss everywhere now if you're in an autopsy room and you definitely would notice by looking at the pictures but it's a messy place and you can imagine when you open up a body you know when a doctor does it you know it's cover you know the shit goes everywhere the blood goes everywhere you know the piss coming out of them they're milking the piss and shit out of them to put them in the buck you know deadly container to test for toxicology. It's a whole process. I mean, the tables have water,

like, suggestive water that, like, just the whole time is running just to keep this stuff flowing down to the drain at the end of the table because it's a messy procedure, you know, especially if the guy's, like, you know, very overweight, like, if you were orthopsying me, you know, my flaps would be going everywhere,

my fat flap would go somewhere and you'd have to fucking move it and the blood would be getting on it. It's a mess, all right? But you don't know that when you see the picture because I was a professional. and you because the pictures are going eventually perhaps to court or you know some arbitration hearing because you know some guys trying to sue the hospital because they stabbed his mother

when they were trying to give her take her temperature and actually stabbed her you know things happen this whole healthcare system who knows your mom got might got stabbed by an accident point is they need these pictures that the document what happens to the arbitrator or the judge or the jury and they can't have you know you're trying to demonstrate the wound that came from whatever blunt object the doctor hit this old woman with and you can't have like her just bloody

you know whatever you know kidney just sitting there you got clean it up you got you know only have blood where the blood is in the body and the rest of the body it's got to be clean it seems excessive like you know we're looking at that body right

like his blood but you clean it and the same thing with your deer all right clean your deer I don't you know it's very least bopped a picture so that you're not... I'm not bothered by it. I've seen more blood than you can imagine. It doesn't imagine the deer's blood.

I mean, I don't want the deer to die. Whatever, it's fine. Venison, I had it once. I should have slow cooked it. I didn't slow cook it. It's fine. Let me know. You guys hit me up on Instagram about this.

You're at Ray Comp or Twitter. You can hit me up and let me know if I'm off base on this. Maybe hunting. Maybe you want to show more blood. Maybe that's part of the gimmick. The part of the culture. Like, you know, it gives me. much blood on the picture as possible

and make it look like a real mayhem. I'm, you know, so if I'm being, if I'm misinterpreting this, I apologize, I guess, you know? I'm not trying to be the fucking, yeah, this is on Facebook. I haven't been on Facebook lately. I mean, my, obvious reasons. The things circle in the drain.

The algorithms are weird. You see things from people you don't even know. You never see anything you like. It's just, you make a post, two people see it. It's just, I've been on Instagram and try. You, you know, Twitter more. I go on Facebook the first time in like a month probably. And you know,

first thing I see is a fucking picture of some dead deer with this pool of blood. I'm like, why am I here? What are you doing, Zuckerberg? You're going to fix this or what? I got started advertising for Facebook now on my podcast. I could do it. Hey, that was a fourth ad read. Facebook. There you go.

Give me some money. Jesus Christ. Trump has TV address last night. That was fun. It was interesting, not really. I was, the one saving grace was supposed to be with this guy. How fucking the mayhem.

Not only the real man. I'm going to talk about the tear gas being shot at, the migrant families trying to escape, you know, the violence that we caused by sending gang members over them 15 years ago. I'm talking about, like, just the mayhem of his, you know, these campaign speeches. He would be out there back in 2015, 2016, talking about Herman Kane.

He's like, hey, try his mother. hammer the hammer it's crazy talk it was it was a lot of fun especially we didn't think he was going to win it was more fun but whatever but like you would think all right we're in this mess he's doing what he's doing right like this wall thing you if you want the five people who agrees of him on the wall i mean i don't know what to tell you anymore i mean but like we're all in the same position in this at least like this is stupid this is dumb and like but at least you're hoping you're going to tune in at nine o'clock you're cutting into the network's fucking prime time coverage

and he's gonna he's gonna just be balls to the wall he's gonna fucking have no pants on maybe he's gonna be doing coke and just fucking he's gonna have like a ball he made out Lego and then just fucking talking about girls he's had sex with you know like you that would be at least

a trade some trade off for like the fall of democracy or the fall of the republic if you will like oh the republic's falling but at least we can laugh at this buffoon and we even get that like he's just sitting there and it sounds like he was on ludes there's what's interesting because like i've read i forget i've read some article the

other day and i don't know if it was the chief of staff or some insider were saying that apparently he quote there's a quote hoover this morning hoovering adderall if you didn't pick up on what that meant i knew what i mean clearly he's just snorting a d'arole a morning and uh which i could see i mean especially people were speculating that he was coke back during the campaign he snorting a lot and also just being who he is like yeah that guy seems like he's on coke a whole lot of time but like you know

I imagine look if you're president you can get away of a lot of shit but it is probably simple to be like hey look you can still get you know cranked out but can it's if someone happens to walk in it's better if it's adderall I'm not sure if it's better if you've crushed the adder all up and you're snorning it off the fucking resolute desk

in the middle of the oval but it's at least there's a fucking like pills are always better than straight coke I think I mean not health-wise but they're better looking presentable everyone can you always pretend you get a pill for a reason but no it was just

looted out like you know so he's apparently he's just doing Adderall morning and like you know I love he crashed and didn't sure he should have took him some more at like 6 p.m because this was boring as shit to repeat the same nonsense I don't know like what it really has gotten to the point where like no one like I'm watching on Fox News

And, like, I, I guess apparently Shepard Smith has been kind of making a niche for himself within Fox is, like, calling out Trump. I didn't know. I just, you know, they do their thing, you know, Fox News, but I'm not going to tune in for that, you know, that's not my thing. I mean, I watch a lot of TV news anyway, but they were trashing him. They, after his, like, speech ended, they were just trashed, him and the fucking managing editor, Chris, whatever, like, the older guy. The guy who's, like, kind of respectable, they towered out and go, here, just, we got, we got, we got. real journalist here and he's like he probably has some Peabody from back when he was

covering word gate and that he's just you know has no debasing himself for the less 30 years but even that guy's trashed like they're done with Trump at least someone in it like no one's behind this it's bizarre he even came out with like I don't even think I don't think this is gonna

he's telling reporters or like privately telling people that like you know this is I don't think it's going to work I have this new communication staff and they're telling me that this is going to work and something he's like hanging him out of the dry already yeah but he's just fine it's just fucking sitting there they're trashing them

they're trashing him and it's just like I don't understand what this whole he's like no one at this point believes he's a good business man right no one's like you know a negotiator but like there's some other thing he's coming in I guess the next day

he's talking to some meeting with Pelosi and Schumer and he comes in and he basically the meeting starts he goes to Nancy Pelosi are you going to agree to my wall and she goes no and then we're through and like

that's it that's the negotiation like you gotta well you can play hardball but you gotta grease the run I don't say grease the runway it sounds like I'm trying you know Nancy Pelosi's an older woman she's not unattractive but

this is the point she's a prospective woman I'm saying but you can grease the palms what we want to call you can be a salesman if I can you know it's like Nancy you know maybe maybe I can fund your I don't know what

is Nancy Pelosi what funds what kind of fucking debt camp for old people like she's not trying to do it like the Democrats want something give them something they probably won't agree the wall but he can get like half a wall maybe hey let me get

let me get five feet for like you know five feet tall for like 100 miles and the other 200 miles we'll put a fucking at this point all he wants is something to tell you the people I didn't. I don't even know what

you want. I mean, does he even want he's got to be so bored. He's got to be this is a guy who is just he's a base. You hear about rich people all the time and you go, like why would they want to do something like this? And like a lot of them do have ambition. They go what they want, you know, we can't do

sit around and like live in luxury all day. No, they get the lot of times they got rich because, you know, they have this ambitious spirit and they have this kind of like fighter mentality. And they and money to them is a scorecard and this battle they're doing whatever the fuck I mean these these titans

of the original Rockefeller and Carnegie and these guys are you know they won't get in the mix but like that's not this guy's a fraud it's a fake I mean the whole thing's a fake he didn't make all this money so what does he give a shit why he didn't want this in the first place now he's like

I mean he's what seven like 73 and he's sitting there going like I could have been fucking just banging the whores or you know and like going on a hooter He probably went to Hoot Street times a week and got like hot dogs And then they fucking, you know, whatever He probably binge-watched like Gilmore girls

On Adderall all the time Like, just enjoying himself And now he's got like I mean, he's not doing the work The way like Obama would do the work Or like, you know, a respectable politician Would do the work But he's like still gotta be there

He can't just have his dick hanging out all the time Like he's used to And like he doesn't even want to win anymore. He doesn't want to get beat. He has a thing he's got a weird ego. He doesn't want to get beat. He doesn't want to let these fucking reporters get the best of him. But he doesn't want to be there.

He's told, he doesn't know what he wants. That's a fascinating thing about all this. You don't know what you're watching when you watch him. You don't know what's going to happen. But you do know that he doesn't know either. Like he's just they're kind of reacting

and it's fun on that level. It's scary, but it's also kind of like he's just waning it and is the world gonna end maybe but probably not

so no one lost this wall I mean like he could have asked for this money I think last year unless I'm wrong you can tell me why I'm wrong but like he could have this money

when he had a Republican house and Nancy Pelosi could have done shit but even they don't fund this stupid thing it's bizarre it's I don't know

it's crazy it's bizarre it's crazy i was watching some video about apple how apple can't get over in india which is i don't know why i'm watching these weird things on youtube it's just some youtube video about like apple can't get market share in india and it's not even like something made for like cnbc it's just It's obviously made for, like, idiots like me. It's like, why are we, first of all, side note, why are we cheerleading for corporations now?

Why can't they fucking penetrate this third world developing country? I guess maybe in the third world, it's developing. Why can't this corporation penetrate a developing market more effectively? Well, are they going to get market share? Why am I watching this? But it was, they bring up the point at one point that Apple is actually, you know, Their sales are, because the whole thing of India is they got like, you know, a billion people or whatever. They're going to be the biggest market.

And Apple's going to need that because, you know, their smartphone sales are for the past few years, you know, stagnant. They're not increasing like they were before, which is, you know, true, I think, of any product over time. You go from being like a, this is like a matrix of business. I took a business class. It's like four boxes and, like, you're a developing company and you're a cash counter. You know, I didn't pass the class. I'm just saying, like, you know, there's different. phases you go through as a company and you know people have the smartphones and they

improve them that much it's not that big a deal and like they made a point though it's not like apple's losing set they're still selling 200 million phones a year it's just not improving which brings you back to the standard i mean this is the thing i've said about capitalism all time and the problem with capitalism is all these corporations you know they need to they can't just it's not cool if they just make a ton of money they have to keep you making more and more money, which is true, it has something to do with the interest rate, you know, on one level,

but it's also like, because these corporations have to, it's a corporation thing more than that. It's like a corporation, because it's based on investors, right? Like, you invest in a company, you want to see, you know, your investment,

you know, increase in a rate of, you know, whatever percentage per year, and so it makes a question, like, but if you own a If I own a company, if I own a hot dog stand and I'm selling a hundred million hot dogs I'm going to move on at Coney Island, you know, Coney Island, it was one of these idiots to buying the hot dogs. It's fucking, well, you get more and more people every year to buy your dumb hot dogs?

No, it's fine. But because you have all these people going like, oh, let's, you know, buy and sell these shares which, like, I get it. Don't, don't come at me like, I don't understand what corporation is and the, and how abstract ideas, but like you don't really own it. I mean, you do and you don't. I mean, if you're, the way, you could go buy an apple

stock, you can buy some apple, but you don't own apple, right? You own some stock and Apple. The guys, there are people who actually own, like, blocks of stock, right? And they're not, the stock market isn't dictated by it. It's like us, buying stock, right? Because these, these investments, these

massive banks and these mutual funds, these hedge funds, you know, they buy massive amounts of stock, you know, guy like buff and whatever, make a huge fucking, you know, investment in the company. Like, that's the kind of shit that moves and they get seats on the board. We don't get seats on the board. You don't, like, the idea that you

own shit, as if you own stock. I mean, I get, again, technically, you don't, you do, and like, oh, if the company goes bankrupt and the stockholders get paid out for the bondholders. It's like, all right, go fuck. Yeah, I get it. But, like, also, you don't. You just don't. You don't have the power to influence it,

you know, with your small share. This idea, And it speaks to this, because it's one of those things where it kind of, look, everything kind of works, you don't question it. But it speaks to the general tone of what a corporation is. It's like, because that's, to me, the least important thing about it, the more important thing, which doesn't get talked about as much, is the reason the corporation kind of exists is insulation from liability. When you own, let's just say, I, you know, I open a business where I photograph people's pets and I, you know, Photoshop them on to, you know, the bodies of, you know, Japanese wrestlers, you know, and I, I don't have to necessarily be a corporation or be an LLC. I could be a sole proprietor. I could be a proprietor. I could be a

guy. I think you just have to go to the fucking county clerk's office and you go, you know, you get a DBA, doing business as. And you might even need that if you use your own name, honestly, but whatever. But you, you don't, they can't reject you. You pay the little fee. and there you go. And, yeah, but if I fucking, you know, you don't like the work I do, I accidentally faux shopped onto a naked man's body, and then you put that out of your dinner party.

You go, look, it's puddles or a pug, and they see it's on top of a very fat man's naked body, because they didn't look first, I guess. My point is, like, I've given them a product that's embarrassed them, and then they want to sue me. Well, they can sue me. and I need everything I have and I can't do anything about that

but if I was a corporation well then they can only sue you know my corporation and I you know so I can basically you know put as much fat naked men out into the world as I want

and like they can only get what the business has and that's the cornerstone of what corporation is now of course there's also you know because and the people there are valid things see this thing it's not just about not getting sued. I mean, it's also about, you know,

the perpetuity of a company, like how, what happens when the partners die? Because, like, there are plenty of big companies, especially, like, you know, maybe 20, 30 years ago that were, like, still partnerships. Like, you know, the investment banks before the financial crisis, I think maybe the years leading up to it even, or maybe it was a little earlier, maybe it was like the 80s and 90s. But at one point, they were all partnerships,

and you already made that, you know, while they were had these partners is all their money, So there's a certain level of conservative, you know, behavior they're going to do because I can invest their money in these crazy crooked scams. But you hear a corporation and it's all just the stockholders money, then fuck it, it doesn't matter. And so the point is like it's not everything has to be a corporation. And like it wasn't for, you know, it tends to be by industry. I think doctors will be, you know, partnerships or LLC, you know, a lot of businesses will, you know, certain, like, you know, the financial companies were partnerships at one point, the banks were partner or whatever. So, like, but everything became corporations.

So, like, these monolithic things because it's not going to exist in perpetuity. And, you know, you could have shell companies underneath you, we absorb them all. And look, it's, this is not capitalism, all right? Like, that's, it's part of what we have, but that's not inherently capitalism. And you could argue, I mean, I'm not even making the point

that we should, you know, necessarily get it. But you can't look at what, like, you know, a giant corporation that's, screwing people was doing, go, well, that's some problem capital. Like, if anything, it's anti-capitalism, to me, or anti-free market at least. I mean, it's like, the idea of the free market is that basically, you know, if you listen to anyone who, like, espouses the free market, like, and legitly, not just some psychopath who, like, you know,

was a Tea Party member who, like, you know, was working for the Koch brothers, even though he doesn't realize it, because the whole tea, the Tea Party is the Coke brothers. But regardless, my point is, but there is actual, you know, free market, you know, people out there, Maybe some of you listening, you know, I used to, you know, I still agree with a lot of it in theory, but whatever. But a lot of it's about companies wouldn't screw people. That's the fear. If you just have a free market, an anarcho-capitalist society, you know, all the corporations would score everybody.

And then, you know, so I goes, no, they wouldn't screw people. That's bad for business. And it's like, you know, they would, you know, they would screw up the company's name. And like, you know, so at least the rhetoric of free market capitalism is that the idea that people would be, responsible because it's in their best interest to be responsible actors and to be you know kind of just not just pilfer in the economy and screw people and you know influence the government to overthrow other governments which you know which is what we do but point is but the free market system apparently that wouldn't happen and that sounds nice

and it seems like so it seems like the corporation's kind of in opposition to that Like, it kind of breaks the whole idea of, you know, like, a corporate, you should be responsible. If you poison the water, you should be responsible for it. You should be, you know, oh, well, the CEO shouldn't be sued. Why not? At the end of the day, you're running this thing or not. And it's like, well, he didn't know that the CEO creates a culture. I mean, or there's some example of a CEO shouldn't be responsible.

Yeah, you create the corporate culture, all right? I've been through companies where the CEO changes hands and you see they stop having as many potato chip varieties and you know and they all all of a sudden they only have one kind of popcorn and like you know and they used to have fucking you know little cookies little shortbreaded cookies of the raspberry and you know now they don't have they don't have they have skittles and emm and they only have M&Ms

now I'm sure like you know other people have like legitimate but look I've seen these results happen as my point That's what I know is. A new CEO comes in, and all of a sudden, my snacks are fucking half of what they were. I think, well, that's going to save the company. That's great.

Okay. But, uh... Yeah, but also, they poison people's wealth sometimes, you know? I mean, they poison Flint, I think, with that corporation or the government. Either way, they... This corporations are poison people. They leak shit.

They fucking... You know, it's all top-down. You know, it's all about results. You know, there's a way to get a guy to do what you want to do. but like not actually tell them you know you basically just

you groom these people to bend the rules you know it's incentivized so a CEO should be responsible a CEO should go to jail no one ever goes to jail for this shit I mean and when they do it's like if I can want like you know white collar shit for a year

and then they mysteriously die sometimes because you know like Ken Lay was involved with Dick Cheney at that meeting with all the energy companies and then you know he goes to jail for what like a day and then all of a sudden he dies like Jack Ruby in jail. I'm just saying you know, hold them accountable. The idea of corporations

or like or capitalism. Capitalism is I feel like it's just a default thing, right? Like people want to say it's the evil thing. It's just the full. It's what would happen if you just didn't, if you didn't do anything. Capitalism is just the default.

Like, as long as you have private property, it's like, oh, people will have the, you have shit. You sell shit. you know, is no one sent in the price, the price of whatever you agree on. And that's just the way it is. And, like, you know, you have to agree on the concept of private property. I mean, that's the one thing.

People some, and you might not. I mean, like, so there are people out there who go, that's what if they want to divert at that point, you know, no, we shouldn't have private property. The Native Americans didn't have private property. And they're, you know, they did fine. And it's like, yeah, I'm sure. And, and, like, we did screw Native Americans over.

And I'm not shit on Native Americans. You would not be a good Native American. Most of you. almost all of you. I mean, like, I want you to know that. Like, you would not survive in that. Like, people act like it was just like harmonious. And they blame, yeah, I mean, they took care of each other. And they were very good to each other.

And, yeah, they fought each other sometimes. I'm not going to judge that. Everyone fights each other. But, like, yeah, they might have, like, all shared resources and all this shit and, like, knowing that property. But they all pulled their fucking weight. We would all be fucking dead in a year. And the day, I mean, these fucking, I mean, we saw what happen when Europeans came.

fucking, they, it wasn't, it wasn't the fact they were carrying, like, you know, 8 pounds of virus per per person, just smallpox and fucking AIDS or whatever that fuck they were given the... That's what killed most than the Americans. I mean, we did screw them, but I mean, most of it was just diseases. But not for that.

I mean, we wouldn't survive without them. And, uh, I don't like this idea of people bringing up Native Americans as if, like, you could have been a name... Like, as if you could have handled, like, you know, going hunting with a... They were hunting with a... There's not a bow was that you see like on the hunting channels

with like these compound bows even which I'm not saying that's easy either but like they're using bows as they carved out of some fucking war to read I don't know it's hard they killed they were tracked buffalo all across the country and like draw them off a cliff or something these are hard people

these hard shit you would have been dead like you were just you couldn't have been a Native American let's get that out of the way but then people like you know socialism though like I'm not so

I am not socials I lean much more towards you know free market ideas at least I don't think the people are you know really honestly disciplined enough

to if it's getting enough to really pull it off to just stick with it but yeah I'm sympathetic to the ideas but I'm also like these people who are like so vehemently

anti-socialist now I've read road to surfdom I get the whole I listen to Mises and North Bar I guess the problems with socialism and the inherent, like, you know, kind of fallacies of Marx

and all this shit. Look, I get it. A couple things. Not everyone is that informed by economics. That's one thing. We should all be. But also, like, you know, with the people who, a lot of people I see shit on socialism aren't either. So let's not pretend, like, you know, like, you're up to date on, like, you know, Hayek's fucking, you know, analysis of, like, you know, asymmetric information. You know, and why is, you know, socialism wouldn't, you know, account for fucking small pockets of the economy, the capitalism and fucking, you know, like, very few people are actually making that point. They're basically talking about people not living on welfare, which is not the point of fucking, you could have, like, a relatively free market kind of system and still have welfare, if you want, and social safety nass. It's not anathema to it. I mean, there are countries that do more of that.

I mean, a lot of the fucking, what they call these socials utopia is, like, these Icelandic, what they call them. Nordic countries are actually economically very free market or at least more in a direction and then they also have safety nets, whatever. The point is which kind of, in one way, is an indictment of the socialist idea, well, it's not actually socialist, but they have a safety net and people, now there, some people say, oh, it's morphed and socialism is, you know, when we say socialism, we really mean

a safety net. I don't know what most people think, honestly, because half the people I hear are talking about Marx. talking about like living you know off the communist i don't know like i if that was a case i'd be more for it but uh i just don't know what's true you hear peterson come out jordan peterson he'll be like talking about how you know equality of uh opportunity is uh the most dangerous thing in the world and it's basically the same idea like what the surf and the idea of like when you have a socialist system i'm gonna really paraphrase it the basic idea is that You know, the regardless of intention, a socialist, you know, system will basically give way to allowing the most extreme elements to thriving it.

And, you know, and the ideas we've boiled down to the lowest common denominator. You'll end up, you know, in order to get to do anything effective, they'll have to basically, you know, create social casts. And, you know, eventually you start kind of turning on each other. Yeah, sure, I get it. And there's a lot of validity to the argument. but like you can't go after socialism like that when you have a health care the health care system that we have we have this for hundreds of billions of dollars a year people are dying of disease and like we have this health insurance industry that's just basically just exists in between the people

and the doctors it's it's insane like the level of the bureaucracy that exists in this country I mean the corruption in this country corporate welfare I mean the corporate welfare that's the thing stop thinking of it is just like well these are these are free market companies these are free market companies these are giant corporations

that a or multinational in a sense that like not just that they are multinational they go sell all over the world but they're more extranational they exist outside of the realm of countries like they treat countries like problems they have to solve. That's the whole thing.

He's like, you know, United Fruit, oh, they're going to nationalize the banana fields and Guamala. Oh, let's fucking, you know, get, hey, get our boy the president to fucking invade or do it cool. Or the fuck. I mean,

this is how it work. I mean, that's not, that's not. I don't know what fucking, I didn't read a lot of Milton Friedman, but I don't think that was, is that his thing? What free market guy made that case? What was that in Mises and Hayek? I don't remember anything about fucking coups when you read Adam Smith.

I remember, I read Walt of Nations. So it's a bit of a dry read, but it's interesting. He never once says, oh, and you know, you circus strongmen in Iran to fucking topple the government, tell people their socialists, but really you're doing it for BP oil. What, you know, I don't, did I miss that chapter? Was that chapter missing from my copy of Walth of Nations? I don't know. I think people will go

You'll shit on the Soviet Union And you'll shit on You know That's a big one I guess China China's got Some economic success But their human rights

Violations are pretty horrendous I think worse than Nazi I mean I don't like to shit on other countries I'm usually the guy going Yeah but what are we done But I think they're even worse In us in that respect

But you know Definitely soviet unions With a mess And people will tell you Oh you can't judge You're socialism based on that that wasn't real socialism we don't have real capitalism so like

let's just stop pretending these words mean much I mean we have what we have but these corporate it's just I don't know why we're allowing well I may end up the world we're not going to change it that's the thing people will go

it's the age of a question how do we fix it we don't fix it what these people are crazy out there how we fix it like people say like oh we'll talk about politics, and it's a mess. They go, oh, the trick is to get money out of politics. Oh, that's the trick. That's the game. That's the whole

thing. How, like, question is how do you get money out of politics? Which you don't probably, but that is the question. That's not the fucking solution. You're imposing it like the solution when that's the fucking, that's the goal. Like, oh, it's going to get money out of politics. How do you get a system of people who are on the fucking payroll of fucking corporations to stop taking money like at some point they have to vote right and like

you know we're gonna vote to the these corrupt scumbags are going to not be corrupt anymore no no we're past the point of shame they used to be a shame threshold at least we're like at least you'd want the appearance of like being corrupt they don't care anymore like it's it's really our fault

I mean it really is the fault of the general people that like you know we used to to some extent hold them accountable I mean you know it's a very least we the, when people would call us and Paul and the Pew poll company would call your house and be like, well, what do you think of this? And at least we'd give answers that indicated that we might vote

the guy out. I don't think we even do that anymore. I think we're so fucking shot that when, you know, the polling data doesn't even seem to make them flinch. They'll just do whatever the, they're brazen. And, uh, but apparently Apple is not

doing well in India. So really, if you could send some money to Apple you know they could probably probably help them out because you know this India thing they were really counting on that and that was circling the drain I keep getting

these emails to be because we're still on a finance kick here I keep getting these emails from my cap my bank telling me I'm pre-approved for a car loan which is weird because I don't have good credit. I have like

pretty shitty credit. Actually, I have just like, you know, one of these apps that, like, you check your credit score, and I apply for credit cards, and the only ones I can get are ones where, like, they tell, well, you got, you know, you can get a $300 line. I'm like, well, that's not very much, $300, but okay, I'll take it. Or you have to give us $250.

I'm like, what? It's like a cured card or something. Point is, like, to build credit with. That's how bad I am. That I have to... Excuse me. That's how bad it is. I I'd have to, in order to use credit, give them money so I can pretend to have credit. And I guess they'll notate that I played the game.

But they're going to give me a car. But that's how bad this whole, if you're not aware, we're in the midst, I guess, of auto finance bubble. Much like I imagine it was in 2005 or 06 before the financial crisis really took hold. And, you know, people were just, you know, selling more. I remember. I don't say I match. I remember around. I was there for it. I remember. I mean, it wasn't super knowledgeable. I wasn't in on it. But

I had the same whiff of it. Because, like, yeah, again, like, I'm not super aware, but, like, oh, like, that's the, that's the indicator. That's the kind of what they call a kind of metric data. It's, you know, they're offering me credit. You know something's fucked. So, you know, I read Bethany McLean's book.

If you haven't read it, if you want to know more about the crisis, all the devils are here it's a great book about the financial crisis and it goes into how the cycle of like at first you know they they have his mortgage back securities right they want you know they're making money off them

so they first they get over the pension funds and the fucking they we have these like you know people who these respectable people these doctors and lawyers have mortgages we're pulling their mortgages into into bundles and selling you know like bonds like oh this is

great it's all great and then they but all these fucking foreign government are buying it, hedge funds are buying it, over the course of decades. Eventually, people still want this shit because they're making a little money. There's no more mortgages to go around. There's only so many mortgages. So they start

fucking give him to everyone. You mean, fucking, some guy in the streets, fucking drinking, you know, fortified wine, you know, 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Like, hey, you want a house? Sure, get a house. Just get his name on the goddamn form and we can wrap this up into a fuck.

Because they don't care. The people, the people write in the loan, they're getting rid of that day they don't give a fuck and that's the whole ball it's just a it there's no connection to reality and i know that's happening here because i don't pay people back like when someone says oh we're gonna like give you a shot give you like a store car the best buy oh cool i'll buy a ps4 and i'll see you in 10 years maybe you'll maybe he'll give me another chance like i this is a good thing to admit on the air i don't know i mean are my creditors gonna be listening to the podcast that would be really aggressive i respect that but no but i uh

It's a bad, it's a bad look investing in me, but they want to give me a car. And I feel like this is, on one level, I feel like this is, oh, this is a problem for the economy because this bubble, you know, it's probably going to burst. And, yeah, maybe it won't be as bad as the mortgage bubble because, you know, it's very least as a house, not a house as a car. So, I mean, you know, people aren't going to be homeless. And then is, do I care about that? Or is this another, a second chance for me to be a dirtbag? because I didn't get to be a derby I mean I

I was the idiot going like back in 05 and 06 I see people like you know getting in the mortgage game or buying a house I'm like oh look if it sounds too good to be true it probably is

like a fucking schmuck right I was in my 20s I could have fucking scraped together some money no no whatever glitters is in gold I was a fucking fat

dumb ass I can get this I should do some kind of scam like they're going to offer me a car like should i get the car should i buy like a ford probe or whatever or dodge dart whatever the current car that they'll give me they're probably not give like my credit's not great so they're not complete idiots they're not going to doubt they're going to give me like an m series BMW but they might give me some fucking you know Hyundai accent you know really that shit

and i can i sell that thing on fucking craigslist you know i mean can they make some cash Like, what are they going to do? They're going to come and repo. I don't know where it is. I sold it. It's gone. I have the money now. Like, get out of here.

What's going to keep him from doing? The fact, oh, you don't have a title. All right. But, like, I know what the title is, right? I know what it looks like because I bought and sold cars. But I find some kid on Craigslist, right? Some fucking 16-year-old, 7-year-old kid. Give him a good deal.

He don't know what a title looks like. I'll fucking print out on Photoshop. I know how to do Photoshop. I'm saying, I'm not saying what a dude. You can't use this against me in the court of law. I'm saying, though, is this the kind of thing I should be getting into? I never used to think like this. But, like, where is the reward?

I'm not looking for a reward for being an ethical person, but, you know, I'm saying, like, scams are fun. Maybe I can live in the car for a while, you know? Maybe I could fucking, some of these hatchbacks. You can fucking put a sleeping bag back there. I could save on rent. Should I do, should I take the car from them and just burn it? set it on fire

like these throw it off a cliff I mean not like a cliff where like in the California people live I mean you know the grain should I draw it off the Grand Canyon should I get a Hyundai accent from my bank

like let them finance it and then just I'll take a video of it and when they come to repo it'll be like it's the bottom of the Grand Canyon you know or the bottle of the sump

don't get it like what are you're going to sue me what are you're going to take the fucking you're going to take my paints and my fucking mug that's full of, you know, my coffee mug is full of mold. I don't have anything. We can take. That's a one beauty of America. There's no debtor's prison.

You beat. You made a bet in comp and you lost. So I feel like if anyone here, you know, again, there's going to be an interactive kind of experience for us. If anyone here has, you know, was around for the last go-round, I know Tim, you know, you all know Tim. I can ask him about this. because, like, I want to be the guy, I don't want to be the guy going, like, why didn't I scam people? Why didn't I get a taste?

At the end of the day, because this is not the free market, because it's corporations running everything, and it's all going to get, like, fucking bailed out by the government, and we're going to foot the bill. So the only, look, some people go, oh, you shouldn't foot the bill. Oh, let the banks fail. They're not going to let the banks fail.

The Federal Reserve System was, design, I mean, look, yeah, they let Lehman fail, right? But the end of the day, they're not letting the system collapse, right? Yeah, that's not what's going to happen. They're going to keep it up. So the point is, yeah, no, we'll try to fix that. Fuck you, we, T-Port. First of all, the Co-Brothers

don't try to do that. But, like, they're not going to win that. But there's only just two ways to win. You can either, like, try, like, to be an idiot and try to, like, get them and not, you know, bail people out. Or when they bail people out, you got yours. Why are you complaining? You got a

car you put in the bottom of a sump. That's how you win in life, all right? You do a little dirt. I'm not saying you screw, you know, your neighbor over. That's the difference. You don't screw your neighbor. You don't take his, you know, lawnmower and then, like, you know, or fucking sneak into his house and fucking put cameras in there and just watch them all the time. You don't do shit to people you know. You don't hurt people, right? We're all people. And like, that's how you know you're a bad person. If you're screwing people over. But I'm screwing people. over a bank and they're screwing over a man like there's a general

this whole country is a general malaise I don't want to think about this and some philosophy class teacher will fucking come out and say well no this is Aztecs and blah blah blah you know you're right you're technically right by the end of the day we're all circling the drain here

and like it's that firing squad firing squad where you know there's a thing with a firing squad we're like you know five guys will shoot a prisoner and either one of them has a blank on the gun so no one knows you can't say for sure if you actually killed the guy because one guy's got a blank

and I'm not sure exactly how that applies except to say eh just don't think about it maybe I'm not the guy and that's the thing here maybe I'm not the reason to collapse but get your car and do something to it

like I live in the city parking I would that's what I'm not talking about using it the only reason is because like you can't park a car around here in Brooklyn it's a pain the ass I don't have to get up and like every other day and like move the car

from one side of the car the street to the other, so they can clean the streets? Well, fuck that. I'm not getting involved in this scam either. I'm like, insuring your car, you know, paying for all these fucking fees. No, no. You get the car. You're settling fire. You're throwing off a cliff. You do something

fun. You live your life. You let someone sleep. You let some homeless people fucking there if you want. I don't care. But like, they're offering you this. You're going to pay for it anyway. You might as well get something out of it. so it's been great hope you enjoy this week again we're trying all sorts of new

shit going forward new some new uh format and ideas i'll have some guests coming up soon so uh follow me at ray comp on twitter and instagram and uh new things this year are going to be happening and uh hope you're excited because i am see you next week