Kump - 21 - Go Fight the Fat Boy

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

Ray discusses being threatened  by a menacing spitting man on the street, his problem with guitar salesmen, the North Korean purges, and the reason why Donald Trump is afraid of Prince Harry.

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I don't know if it's a crazy weekend, but if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me posting about me and Lucy. we didn't get attacked or anything, but some guy spit on us, not on, at us, but like very directly at us. We were walking down the street back to our apartment.

We just dropped off our laundry and this guy was walking, you know, next to us sort of in our blind spot. You know, I was just wasn't worried about the guy. Yeah, but someone's in your blind spot. You keep alert.

You know, blinds, somebody might like just stab you the fucking, you know, some knife that he, you know, uses to, like, make Doritos with. I don't know. Makes Doritos? You know, who knows? Ice pick. Yeah, I'm not a spy, but, you know, someone might want to assassinate me. I'm always cognizant of the notion.

So, whatever. But then, like, so we're at the stop sign. We're waiting across. And he, like, leans over to us and, like, spits on the ground and then walks across the street. And it was so, um, just, like, full of contempt. but also like a lack of just no respect like just like not like he did oh you know you'll respect us like first of all why should he respect me but uh i don't respect me but uh it was the outward like the complete

utter like disrespect how little we rated to him um which we found amusing we started laughing i started laughing first and she started laughing and uh lucy and you know it was like it was so the top it was so aggressive um so i don't think i was wrong to laugh i mean um it was definitely an aggressive move the guy across the street i i heard him saying something like i mean i don't know i was one and like you know as we're crossing the street i realized yeah he is talking and he's going like uh what he was exactly it was something like um you ready i'm like well you want you want it you want it and i'm looking at it and he goes like you want come on fat Boy, you're ready.

You want to get your ass whooped? And, you know, which is, you know, again, aggressive, I guess. And, no, I just immediately, I said, no, we're cool. I'll have a good day. Which is, like, not typical of me. I mean, if you know me, I mean, I'm not saying I'm some tough guy. I'm not some fighter. But, you know, I don't usually take shit in my adult life anymore from people.

I started screaming. But, you know, I know. There's times and places where you don't necessarily want. just acting with a madman because look this guy wasn't the most intimidating guy in the world but he did seem like you know he was uh willing to get into a scrap and he was bigger than me uh you know he seemed like he probably uh had been more fights than i have um let's be honest so you know what i mean i would look if it came down to it we were sorry

everyone says this but i mean i'm i think i'm ready to gouge people in the eye and bite them if i have to uh people say that but you know i i think about a lot. Like, you know, and just, I could, I, like, I don't like watching beheading videos, for instance. But, you know, I did work in a morgue, so I saw a bunch, no, not a bunch of beheaded people, but yeah, I'm dead prostitutes and babies,

dead babies, and, you know, things of that nature murder victims. It doesn't mean I could do it. I'm not pretending to be a soldier, uh, quite the opposite, usually. But, uh, you know, I'm just saying, like, could I gouge someone's eye I have I had? Like, I have to say, part of the problem is, like, people throw that around, but like, it's not

that easy to get to the position to gouge someone's eye. Whatever. I'm just saying, like, these aren't, like, it sounds like, oh, we're going to just, oh, I'll start biting them. I'm like, well, while you're biting this person, they're, like, punching him in the skull and, like, you know, it doesn't, fighting, like, the people who say, oh, fight dirty. I get where you're coming from. Believe me, I'm not, I'm not saying you should

fight clean. Uh, and if it works for you, you know, all the better, but some, like, I don't mind it when someone who's, like, actually, you know, from a tougher neighborhood back in the day, like, you know, like, you, like, you Look, they could be liars, too. I was an old man I was working with.

He was telling me a bunch of stuff that might have been lies about how he was from, you know, from... He was, like, he grew in Jamaica, he was fighting, you know, he was fighting people, and he was acting like a tough. But the point is, like,

I tended to believe him at first, just because, you know, why is his old man going to be fronting to me? I'm not, you know, he wasn't, I don't think he was trying to, like, you know, seduce me or anything. If he was, I mean, you know, I was open.

I'm not particularly open to it, but he respected them, so I mean, I wouldn't have just completely dismissed him out of hand. I mean, I should, I guess, I shouldn't mix respect, but whatever. I'm a complicated man. A point is, um, he said, like, I'll fight dirty.

And, uh, you know, by, all right, I'm a mad dog. Okay. Like, and it didn't seem stupid coming at hand, but I've seen so many, like, people who like, you know, like, you know, are in fights and like, you know, never, like, having them in fights. And they'd say, oh, I'll, I'll fight dirty. I'll fucking go. all right but like you know reality is like there's a good chance to get knocked out before you

even get close enough to bite a person you know like the kind of person who's like you know i guess it varies who's attacking you but uh you know it's often someone more aggressive than you and tougher i mean people who weren't tough around to me tough is just like someone first of all it's taking damage i guess um but also a willingness to just do it a willingness to fight it's not about like you know you get your ass kick there's still a toughness to once you're just a maniac who just starts

fights at bars and gets his ass kicked but you know there's a certain level of like you know that's why like you know bikers like always interested me just because not they were like you know

I don't like I'm not a kid I don't go comparing like fucking gangs to each other who's tough for the mafia or the bikers because it's a stupid chas palmetry movie if you like Bronx Tale

you know I probably don't respect you I mean I liked it when I first saw it But that seems mean to say to people who listen to the show. I'll give another chance, I guess, if you tell me it's great. But I'm pretty confident, I'm right. I think what's going to happen is you're going to watch. We'll both watch it again. That's the deal.

And you'll realize what's stupid. Even that scene. That was the only scene that was even like as a kid I liked. Oh, no, you can't leave. If you haven't seen the movie, you know, just stupid chasmontieri and his mafia friends, you know, they closed the doors and some bikers. The point is bikers are mad. like they're mad dogs they're crazy people they do they do stuff for charity i guess to help kids

uh learn to read or whatever they they drive kids to the hospital on their bike um you know so like you know if you have your spinal dysplasia uh surgery yeah i think the the bikers will you know just strap you to the bike and just drive you there which seems dangerous but yeah they're pretty good riding bikes anyway i'm diverging in bikers but the whole thing with them It's not that anyone's tougher than anyone else, but they just seem more likely just to, like, do something that would, like, just land them in jail and, like, kind of not care, like, just drunk and make crazy.

And that's to me, like, you know, as an adult in the world, it's kind of, there's a, that's the, how much you have to lose. And most people who say that, like, you know, they have plenty of lose if you're talking to me or civilized, unless they're homeless, you know. Point is, like, these people, there's people out there who just don't give a shit, and they'll kill you. They'll stay.

you they'll fucking bite you they'll fuck you in the mouth uh they don't care but this this didn't register to me this way like this guy yeah he wasn't objectively sort of intimidating guy but the whole thing was

very unintimitating even and I do think he was ready to beat me up if I you want if I you start talking shit uh and like which I was in the right to probably because like literally we didn't like we're not in a car we didn't cut them off uh there literally was no interaction with them

I don't think I just didn't like to cut of my jib or the word kind of my brow my chin he didn't like the fact you know i guess this fat guy is just hanging around he's got his girlfriend and he's right who do i think he is and he's right who do i think i i should be brought down peg i'm the first one to tell you that i am allowed to gallivant around uh this city and this world and you know without you know people really should just kind of cold cock me occasionally uh they probably put me in my place a little more but you know they don't and even this guy it was just a strange yeah you want a fat boy and like no and like i don't like well how would that have looked like this is like it's one

thing if like you know you bump into someone and then you don't apologize like i'm always very apologetic if i do bump into someone um you know sometimes there's a situation when you step on someone's shoe you're supposed to want to drink and like you know even if it's like you're not totally you're fully oh yeah i'm sorry you don't you don't go around just like fucking you know acting like you don't have to worry it. It's kind of the thing. People get annoyed because, you know, it's not so much that you did the thing is that you're acting

like you don't give, like, they're nothing to worry about. Which, all right, I mean, if that's important, you know, that's, I get it, like, where you're coming from. That being, like, this was so, like, nothing that was like, I couldn't even, I don't, you could argue, like, on paper that, like, I could feel like I got cucked out in front of my girlfriend.

It was such a ridiculous, like, for me to start, like, you know, to interact with this guy. And I'm not doing to defend my ego here on the pocket. I'm just, it's just interesting to me because I've been in a situation before where, you know, maybe I would have yelled back or maybe I wouldn't have, but I would have felt more, you know, I should have done something, I guess. This is just, I mean, maybe we're getting older, but this just has an abstract, strange, uh, he wanted, like, his whole thing was engineered. He wanted, like, he must have spit in the ground, hoping that I would say something. I don't know, maybe he just had a bad day and he wanted to, you know, punk a fat guy out.

It's fine. I mean, you know, I get it. Lucy was very sweet. He's, he's fat, too. But, yeah, I think it's fair to say I was fatter, so I guess he was in the right. I don't know. I mean, I was wearing, like, a nice button-up shirt. I usually wear my cheap hoodies from Haynes that I get on Amazon, and they're tattered. And I don't think I'm usually intimidating to people, but I feel like maybe, because this is like a black and white shirt, like checkerboardy kind of. pattern and I feel like it made me look softer like maybe hey who's it because one thing if

I'm gonna wear like some fucking dirty uh like you know hoodie like it's not a hoodie it's it is it's like it's basically you know the material is terrible it looks cheap as shit I look like I used to think I look like a plumber but I think plumbers like do pretty well so I probably just look like some vagrant uh I don't quite look homeless uh maybe some guys who, like, lost his job at the post office because, like, it was stealing stamps. And not, like, in a way where I was, like, selling them, but just, like, you know,

I wanted to get the collector's addition. Like, they probably wouldn't let me, uh, buy the, like, you know, you have to wait for the customers that they get a chance to buy these stamps. But I was like, fuck, because I want this stamp of Elvis shitting into his banana sandwich. Uh, they must have made that.

They may have so many Elvis stamps. Uh, I would, like, if you're going to work at the post office is the only, you know, benefit. you know, I worked at McDonald's. I used to get, you know, the Happy Meal toys, which, you know, and at one point my closet was full of them. And look, is it something that, do I have any of them

left? No, do I miss them? Not really. But it was nice at the time. It's always nice to have the largesse of, you know, you get perks. And, you know, in this case, that's why I look like a postal worker who didn't get his perk, and I just kind of, you know, now I work

in a fucking deli. I don't know. I don't have I don't think I have a look. I mean, I have this look of an uncommitted metal kid, maybe. Like, even though I'm not that in the metal, whatever. You all know what I look like. You love it. It's great.

But yeah, it was a ridiculous situation. He's a fun guy. But yeah, we were on a way to, you know, why am I going to fight the guy? We're on a way to go to, you know, drop our stuff up at home and they get an Uber to go to, we're going to target.

to get new bed sheets and a vacuum because that's what I'm doing I'm living I'm cohabitating with my girlfriend Lucy you all know from our love is disgusting or a wonderful podcast and you know we needed to get some new sheets and a vacuum and also I you know it's the one in you know flatbush or whatever the guitar center is right there and I wanted it is we're getting to this I wanted to take a look at some guitars because here's the deal. I've talked about before previous weeks

how I've gotten back into making electronic music you know like the opening song which is nothing impressive on this show but yeah I made that years ago

I enjoy it I'm getting better it's just something I like to do I am not sitting here like you know acting like I'm gonna be some fuck I'm gonna beita is it a beata or a Beza

I don't know but then I got to let me there and to play like you know I'm not Medici or Avici but he's dead anywhere Did the Vici die?

Whatever. I'm not going to be one of these house DJs, is my point. I'm not the guy, you know, like poppin fucking Molly and then like some, you know, girl who's a woman who's, you know, playing with like fluorescent paint. Like that paint that glows in the dark. She's like, hey, can I blow you because you're the DJ? And I'd be like, I mean, I get rock stars getting blown.

But DJs, I don't know. It's not, it's a skill. Look, everything's a skill. I mean, a lot of skills in life. The guy who puts together just, you know, stage lights is skills. also. I guess some, you know, people just like, men

and women just want to fuck people who were on a stage. It's an allure, I guess. I mean, that's why, people say it's why you hear your stories. I got into music for the girls. And it never even seemed like a real thing to me. I used to play music as a kid. He's putting in guitar.

But I guess some guys, you know, if you're a good-looking guy and you, you know, were in shitty bands, you probably did clean up relative to the town you were in. We're doing okay. I mean, I don't know, I always saw kids i was a kid who had a fail band like a pie we had like a punk band only did like practiced once and didn't have any shows i think it was called the american scheme um and we sang about nuclear uh like toxic waste or whatever and i was playing guitar and singing and had involuntarily had

a british accent uh leak some chemicals into the water wake up with two heads and three new daughters nuclear power cleanest energy only while it's on government property radiation and it was terrible but also like it was like 98 probably like stuff like I don't know Chernobyl hadn't just happened I don't know why it was like

literally had never occurred to me in my life to be worried about nuclear energy like I knew it was a possible like it was out there but I think the particular age bracket I'm in I came of age the time it just wasn't a worry I mean like maybe I should have been like I

I didn't remember three mile island when it happen. So, like, I don't know just pretentious, you know, I'm going to make a punk rock song about nuclear energy. Like, yeah, no, I wasn't rancid. It wasn't, I wasn't, what's another one? Jimmy E. World. There wasn't in the coverage from me. No, but I've been making it's electronic music. I mean, thinking about incorporating some guitar into it. And my previous guitar, I lost that storage unit where all my stuff. so you know

I don't want to spend a lot of money I'm not looking to make like a fucking metal band I'm just want to like a few fucking notes and I'm talking to people I know and everyone's like everyone's got this fucking I hate people who can't just give you

like someone who knows what they like you know has a skill right like you're a guitarist you're a photographer you're a plumber like when you ask them hey like

what's a good thing about it all depends on what you're trying to do of course it does I'll tell you what I'm trying to do tell me what to buy I worked at the camera store for years I was a good salesman I made you know

sales I could have made more sales or sales that benefited me more but I actually had a I don't brag or I mean I had ethics about it I didn't mind selling someone extra stuff that actually you could use you know you get in the camera you get by the filter this to that

And, you know, closing the deal is, you know, people want to buy, but they're kind of, like I was today, just kind of, you know, uncertain about what to do and they don't want to make the right move. So, you know, you fucking, you take them in the hand, you show them all the fucking different things, but then you also, you know, give them good options. But you also, you don't try and sell someone something that is totally out of their price range. They're obviously not going to buy. And this is what gets me, we'll get this a second. But, like, these people, no one's giving me, my friend's not giving me advice. it's all just maybe get a used deal I don't want to buy used things

I don't have a problem with use things but the patience involved I want to just be able to click a button on Amazon go to the store to say give me this I don't I don't like the hunt for objects like for to buy shit I don't want to you know I don't collect

things or I'm not like collecting hummills my mom has precious moments that I'm trying to get her to give me if you don't have precious moments there were religious themed porcel and statues I don't think she uses anymore but she has tons of you know like these little like cherubic little figurines but they'll be like st michael your archangel you're stabbing the devil and they're adorable i feel like i could decorate my apartment with them um and try to close that deal together to give you know i'm not

going to go out and find my own precious moments or my own like weird fabricier eggs i mean i would like to have one faberge egg um i feel like it would be a nice like once i have like an actual apartment. We have a room right now, we share with other roommates. We're having a nice, like a part, like a two bedroom we get, you know, at some point. And then, you know, we share, we set it up

with our own shit. I'd like to have a fabric. I don't have what expensive they are. I mean, if you're a few grand, I might still do it. If there's 30 grand, probably not. But I would love to have some people from work or just you know, people we need at the

club. We don't do the club. But, you know, If this is the case, I would meet people at the club so I could have them over for a nice dinner, maybe cook them a steak, maybe get some bagels and locks, and, you know, which seems like a weird thing for dinner, but, you know, like a bagel or cream cheese and locks and onions, best sandwich ever.

And, you know, tomato, they would fucking, and it would be a thing where, like, you know, I'd be opening these people's eyes to this. And I would love to, like, over dessert, you know, just lean back in my chair and say, hey, have I shown you my Faberjeet egg? Because it would be just such a fucking great conversation. I don't even know what a Faberjay is.

Egg is honestly. It's a porcelain? Is it glass? I don't know. But you don't think I should have one. I'd love to just pull it out. And I would keep it in like a fucking like a honeycomb's box. But like it's a fabricia egg.

So you just can't, you can say why do you keep it there? And, you know, you can question. but like it bestows an immediate sense of like not wealth but just like precarious taste so I don't know if anyone out there knows

anything about February eggs where I can get one I'd like to but yeah I don't want to buy used stuff I don't like used shit I get you vintage guitar words are great if I could find a good deal I would take it as long patience just tell me what

to buy. And so, whatever, my brother eventually gave me, you know, some tips. So I'm going to go look at the jazz master, whatever. I'll spend a little bit more money. I was going to spend 200. I'll spend a couple hundred more. I know it's like a better thing, but I'm like, you know, you talk to these guitarists for half a time. I'm sure if somebody had to be a guitarist, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you're, maybe you're being, it's just every, like, oh, the tone, it's chasing the tone. And it's just like, want to just play the goddamn soul. Just play. Just play. you know, Taylor Swift play Hansen like, I mean, I don't know, I get having

a nice tone. I get having a fucking Jimi Hendrix Wawa pedal and you're fucking everyone and you're playing you know, uh, all along the watchtower and you just, you know, this is great. And then like, you know, and women are blowing you behind, you know, the stage when you perform. But like, you know, just

they'll still blow you if you fucking throw it to a, you know, an amp. You don't need a goddamn, how many goddamn pedals you need. I just want to fucking play a few goddamn notes on my fucking weird techno song. We're going to boop, beep, boom, boom,

and it's a guitar. And I go in there, by, like, look at the guitar interfaces, you know, to plug the thing in. And this guy comes up to me, and he's like, hey, can I help you? Like, hey, I'm looking at these interface things. And I told him, like, I'm, you know, I'm just kind of doing, like, some

sense stuff. I'm not, like, you know, go crazy with guitar shit. So, I'm looking at this, this $100, $150 ones. And he starts, like, immediately talk about this $700 one that he has. First of all, I don't give a shit what you have. Like, I don't, that's not like, what are you, a child?

Like, I worked at the camera, the camera store, you know, I didn't, I have this lens. Like, is that your sales pitch? I own this. Like, you fucking imbecile. Like, that is not, you need to be objective with these people. Because look, you're working at a camera store.

These are doctors and lawyers. Like, people who have money and, like, you know, they want to buy something nice. They don't respect. you and like respect me on the level of like oh he's guys shit together he's working in the cameras like no like it's it's not a great it's a fine job especially if you into photography but in the same way like if you work at sam a or sam ash or guitar center i got it against you you know but like don't don't start getting this whole smuggle well i use this oh do you when you

dig it at the strip club do you use it all use a fucking a fabricier pick you know when you fucking that bar mitzvah party I don't give a shit and also it's $800 Why are you telling me about this I'm like yeah I'm trying to say more In like the you know Price range like you know

This one here 150 Well this one here's like 500 Like And yeah I get it There's tone involved And it's but like I've made it clear Like multiple times

Yeah I'm looking for this Like close the fucking I might have bought it today Close the fucking sale These fucking humps And he remembered my name That's the weird thing Like, after I left, he asked my name, and he's like, I'm James.

I don't even know it was James. I am Ray. Nice to meet you. And then like, after I was in the store for a while and not talked to him, like, I was going outside to be up with Lucy. And he was out there smoking a cigarette. He's like, goodbye, Ray. And I'm like, why, like, you're not a good, like, why you remember my, that's what

you did? You remembered my name? That was your trick to get me to buy something? You need to convey an objective sense of knowledge these people, all right? You need to fucking, that's a first step. I need to, like, you know, when you talk, I can't just be like, well, this one, you should buy the thing I like. You should buy it, you should, or you should, you should, you should, you should, you should, you should care as much as I do. Like, you sell the $150 unit, you know, like, I mean, I asked him, is it like, you know, is the latency a problem with this?

And latency is like, you know, and he kind of said no, because it's just a tone. And, like, I don't need, like, I mean, I get he wants to upsell, like, because he's more commission, but, like, you got nothing. You got to know what you have when it's in front of you, right? That's what sales. You got to, you know, you try to sell everyone in Ferrari. You know, they're going to come to your mother's house and just beat her the death. Because, you know, people don't want to be sold Ferraris. You know, my mother would have gotten in a fucking mouthful of teat if I try to sell someone, you know, a Lika camera when I deserve it.

You know, Likas and fucking, what's the other ones? Contacts. You know, expensive cameras, you know, esoteric. You sell people Nikonans and cannons. and Minaltas maybe back in the day. You don't fucking... I don't need your stupid $800. I just want to fucking play the three chords I know

for like two weeks and then just stop doing this. I don't want to spend $1,000. But, yeah, so... It's just... I... I didn't buy a guitar. I think what happened was like,

you know, I had an old guitar at my parents' house. I texted my dad. And it was like, you know, it's a shitty guitar. It's not shitty, but it's just... It's, I just can't, I went in there, because, like, look, I want, I wanted to, you know, play some guitar, but, like, I'm walking around this fucking guitar center, and, like, everyone's just happy to be there, and they're fucking playing with the gear. I feel nothing, and I like music.

I'm doing it on the computer of reason. It's great. I spend hours doing it. But the gear, I'm over this gear shit. I'm over just, like, everyone's got to get a hobby where they buy different things. They buy fucking, you know, all right, like, you find a new one. What pedal do I need? What's fucking pick and what fucking string?

It gets tiring. I just want to fucking make something that sounds bad, but I like, I mean, I used to want guitars, but I'm picking them up. They're telling me, like, oh, what feels good to you? It's like, they all feel the same. The ones that are, like, expensive, just feel, I mean, I've played a nice guitar before a couple times, like a vintage one. It sounds better, sure, when you plug it in, but, like, you know,

I'm terrible guitar. Why would I need to spend $500 to get, like, you know, like, you don't think fucking, you know, who's fucking Eddie Van Halen, if he fucking came over my house and took my guitar, you don't think if it would sound really good? I mean,

he'd be vomiting, probably, percocets, and he would be fucking punching me and asking me where my mother sleeps, and, you know, he'd probably, you know, I don't know, have his dick out, but like, the guitar would sound great. I mean, Eddie's, I don't want to make it sound like Eddie's a maniac drunk.

I think he used to have an alcohol problem, but, you know, that was the 80s, I guess. But, you know, I just feel like if he was at my house, he'd be kind of, like, things are going to not going great. Like, he was brought there under false pretenses. Maybe someone he knows was kidnapped. Not by me, but, you know, I'm just saying, why would Eddie Van Halen be there? But he did, the guitar, he would sound great. But he'd be, like, poking me with, like, a butter knife in the back of the head. telling me that if I don't fucking find his

Rody's daughter I don't know he's going to fucking Is that even how I'm still alive? I don't even know. I'm rambling today where we got news wise let's look at the news Oh no before we finish Because yeah guitar center not fruitful

I maybe realize I don't really want a guitar But we'll see Maybe in the year you'll hear I'll be on this podcast, I'll be fucking playing, you know, Pantera riffs for, you know, the tribute to Dimebag Daryl, the guy you got shot. I mean, you know, the sky's the limit, I guess. But for now, it's just, you know, it's in stasis.

But we did go buy sheets, and I think I impressed Lucy, because I'm the one who knew what thread count was. I mean, we wore it a nice 700 thread count sheets that were on sale. I'm used to using, like, 300 count, because you got to get them cheap on Amazon. But yeah, so I don't know if that's sexually impressive to a woman, but I think, you know, I'm a sophisticated man in some pockets. You know, like, I know things.

You know, I know what the Faber Shea Egg is. I know how to fucking, you know, buy sheets. It's time to say. Like, you know, I'm a, I have pockets of culture. Trump is in Britain today or this weekend. He went to go see. It's a state dinner. or whatever, state meaning.

I guess that's the official thing. I mean, I guess he's there to see the wonderful new baby, the interracial, beautiful, mixed-race baby. Which Trump is like, you know, I don't think he's, I think he's got pays respects because, you know, he knows Harry is a dangerous man. He's the one, like, he's the one Prince Harry getting back in the planes and coming over to America

and, like, quote, accidentally dropping bombs on hospitals or whatever. I mean, Trump is a madman, and he's aggressive, and he talks a lot of shit. But, you know, I don't think he wants to cross Harry. I don't think he wants hospitals to get, you know, who knows who that guy's going to do. I mean, that guy, you know, he doesn't

have to worry about becoming king, so he's just got nothing whole. He's like Uday Hussein. I mean, that's the thing. When Saddam's your dad, you know, he ain't given the power. So, you know, if you got familiar with Uday and Hussein, and Hussein is, excuse me, Uday and Q's,

say Hussein. You probably are, but if you're not, there was Saddam Hussein's sons, and they would just go to a wedding and like take the bride, kidnapper, rape, kill everyone in the wedding. Like, they were just like, it was like cartoonishly evil. I mean, Saddam was a bad guy too, but like, you know,

it always gets worse with the kids. This is why, yeah, I'm sure Prince Charles has, you know, had some prostitutes, you know, taking care of, probably. I mean, I don't know that for a fact. I would assume that men his position would but you know

who am I to say what the prince does but you know he's not even the king is he ever going to be the king who cares but the point is Harry's definitely unless Edward you know turns out to be Edward? Yeah Edward right unless he turns out to be a Nazi that's happened

before you've known the story that fucking I mean they say it was Grace Kelly right you know he wanted to marry Grace Kelly that one king so he abdicated and the stuttering guy took over but I'm pretty sure someone in there were like ties to Hitler. That's why he resigned.

People tell me, though, maybe I watched the wrong documentary, but I'm pretty sure that the Britain, you know, had some guy King had to advocate because he was too close to Hitler, which might happen with, you know, Harry's brother.

I'm not saying he's, you know, sympathetic to Hitler, per se, but, you know, maybe he's De Beers, Cecil Rhodes, you know, maybe he's, wants to get the colonies back

and running and mine. I mean, you know, I'm just saying I wouldn't be surprised Harry I don't think he's that kind of guy he's a mad dog but he's not a white nationalist

he's not a Brexit guy he appreciates the impunity that his royal status gives him and his ability to just hurt people whenever he wants to if he decides to so he's not gonna like

try and challenge his status quo but you know Edward point is Trump's over there he's talking shit about the mayor of London which is the mayor of London which is the mayor of London the head of the city of London, I don't think

it is, because the city of London is some weird fucking thing because there's London, right? Like the actual area of London. I guess it's kind of like, you know, like City Hall area of New York or like old Boston. Is there a thing called Old Boston? I think it must be where the old shit is.

Because like, you know, the city of London is like this small pocket in the middle of London, which I guess London started or whatever. But it's where all like the, the financial they say at least the financial

you know hedge funds but you know powers exist you know I'm realizing now this might have been somebody watching

one of those more spurious documentaries I think it's probably some truth to it you know whoever is the Bank of England in the city of London I think he's an exclusive

place is my point it's not like you know Piccadilly circus it's a fucking you know the raw child maybe were there and the fucking

you know you know, who are the other British people who were Perry, Cromwell, Cromwell was there, I don't know. The point is, you know, and Trump is calling this guy just slagging him off, calling him a buffoon or a slob, I don't know. I mean, I, I, it's, it's complicated.

Because, you know, party is like, you don't want any president taking shit from Britain's people. And yes, Trump courts it, right? Trump courts a lot of criticism. valid criticism. But, you know, at the end of the day, impeach him or don't. But, like, if some guy's going to talk shit, like, the mayor of London is going to talk shit about the president of the United States.

It's like, yeah, I don't blame Trump or just saying, who the fuck are you? You fucking, you know, you design the fucking, you know, uniforms for those idiot guards who fucking, you know, attack people who try to fucking talk the truth about Harry and his war crimes. You know, that's not impressive to me. I mean, it was the city of, the mayor of, this is a mayor. No one cares about mayors. Mayors aren't great. I mean, Giuliani was like, you know, not great mayor.

He seemed to be effective. You know, you can argue in a police state slash, you know, racist way. But, you know, it didn't seem to clean up crime. People argue that he didn't. And then, like, you know, this fucking oldest demographic swings. I don't know about that. But, you know, whatever. Point is he was respected mayor.

I mean, that's maybe not the end of his term so much, but then 9-11 happened. He had all his cash-shay. And now, look at him. He's a fucking buffoon. I mean, I can't think of one mayor. Rahm Emanuel. Isn't he crooked? Like, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, who is a good man? Fiorillo, LaGuardia from back in the fucking 30s? He's probably a good mayor. Like Nelson Rockefeller. Rockerfeller, sorry. I mean, that's a weird. There's ever been a Rockefeller president. but they ran for mayor

and they basically ran the country at one point why didn't they just like get to, I think they realized why are we putting our name on this shit but they fucking started the Federal Reserve with the, you know, Morgans and stuff and like they controlled a lot of shit I don't know what the fuck

I think that was probably him being mayor or the governor was probably even just like someone probably pissed him off you know the normal course of operations where they like they, you know they tried to take some farmers land and then like the daughter got upset

so she, like, you know, I don't know, fucking sent some dead cow. And, you know, point is, in the day, you know, and then the mayor, some politician got, like, wind of it and tried to fucking rein them in. So they had to, like, run the guy for governor. I don't know, it's, whatever, that's not typically their game. But, uh, probably the, but that's, like, that's a prestigious mayor, I guess.

There's no, so, like, Trump going after this guy for being a fucking, yeah, I mean, it's par for the course. I mean, you know, what do? The funnier thing, one of my funny is the right word is that North Korea, which, you know, look, again, you blame Trump for trying to do it with North Korea. I guess people in the State Department were telling them, well, this won't work. But, you know, it was one of those things where it was just so crazy, maybe it would. But, you know, I don't work for the State Department. I'm not trying to fucking, you know, like get contracts for Nike to, you know, so basketballs together with kids, with kids, labor, child labor.

I'm pretty sure it's what the state department does. People act like, oh, they're diplomats. They're diplomats. But, like, people have this idea of diplomats, like, oh, they're making peace. But, like, there's really not war going on. Half a time the diplomats are the one saying, hey, so the army's going to come in a day or two. So, peace, I'm out. Like, they're not, like, really stop it.

Like, they're the ones who tell you, like, here's the conditions. You better do this. Basically, diplomat, like, besides that, besides being the kind of civilized for like a better term, mouthpiece of the military state, which is what they are. I mean, they basically you do your, it's kind of due diligence, right? Like before war, well, we sent

the, we sent hands of blicks there and he fucking, you know, couldn't, he didn't find weapons so we're never going to go to war. Like, it doesn't make any sense, but you send, it's something you do so you don't look like you're just bombing people randomly. That's part of it. A lot of it's just like economic, and I'm not expecting to be an expert

on exactly what their day-to-day jobs are, but I'm pretty sure they're just like you know getting mining rights or uh you know trade agreements and they're fucking these aren't like fucking we act like they're going around like stopping wars and like no they're i mean they're just fucking they're making deals they're fucking exploiting economies so like uh i don't know if they're like you know the fact that they told trump not to do no korea deal you know they probably know have more experience than me but you know they seem shady to me in general that be and i'm I'm not apologizing for Trump.

But it did seem to go sour this weekend because apparently all the leaders of the summit, all the guys who organized it, were shot to death in the airport in North Korea. Some of them might be imprisoned, you know, North Korea in prisons, but which is just a bad look. Like, you know, because I'm pretty sure it means the guy, at the very least the guy who was putting like the American in

Korean flags on the buffet table next to the fucking, you know, cheese fries that, you know, they were serving. And he might have also been one of the guys negotiating. You know, I'm pretty sure he might have been. So I don't know. I mean, I don't know what North Korea is trying to gain here.

I really don't. I mean, I mean, look, is this some kind of thing, like, Game of Thrones where they think they're going to, like, little finger... You know, it's spoiler. It ain't going to work. Even that shit... shit show but uh you know they think they can kind of play people play people of each other to just uh yeah and like you know have everyone kill each other and they're sitting there going like look

we got this fucking what they even have there like what they even make i just probably learn more about nor korea is there anything to learn can you is there anyone know anything so i don't know i mean do we blame trump people blaming trump for this i mean look he's you should get some of the flack i guess when you fucking you pull a cowboy move if it works great but you know if if if you're fucking, if you try to jump on a horse without using the stirps, and it works, you look like a fucking, you know, a great cowboy. And if you fucking dick

lands on the ass of the horse and it hurts and you fall backwards, you know, I mean, yeah, you deserve a little ridicule. I mean, you took a risk and it failed. And like, you know, it doesn't mean, you know, you shouldn't take risk, but, you know, you're going to get a little beat up for it. Maybe Trump had him order

to do it. I don't know. I mean, I'm not madman running this shit. we'll move on let's look at the I had a list of things on my goddamn boom let's see what we got

uh oh muller you know people are mad that he came out there what did you think he was gonna say he came out basically and said hey look

I wrote this fucking four hundred page thing what do you want like you know he kind of hinted like I guess look people who he hinted we should impeach him

he did I think I'm pretty sure he said like hey if you don't like this you can impede like you can do this it's an option why don't you go do that and like you know I'm not saying we should we shouldn't but like I don't know what people thought Mueller was going to do like this is a guy

who was like an FBI like have the FBI he wasn't a fuck it's not some rogue fucking maniac who they like some like dirty cop they got to like investigate this is a guy who like was the head of the FBI which is not exactly the least corrupt institution in the world's ever known all right

I'm not saying he's corrupt I'm saying like this is, what did you what did you think like they're known for like railroading people and invading privacy

and you know like maybe you know being complicit in terrorism at the very least you know inadvertently causing a lot of it so I don't know well you thought this guy was going to be some hero

who like saved the day and like saved us from this you know despot I mean the if ever come of the time to save us from a despot. I'm not saying

it's not this, but if it's at a time, the FBI is going to be defending improper, more likely than not. I don't know what you think these people do. They had the 9-11 hijackers. Like, they're people living with them in a year before 9-11. Like, you know, we fucked up.

Oh, okay. Like, all right. We're going to pretend like people fuck these people who were pretty well trained and they're pretty smart. Oh, just fucking Boston bombing suspect. diving the two kids. A random guy, you know, we were interviewing at his house and he got a hold of my gun so we had to shoot him. And like, how does the guy get a hold of your gun while you're, like, I mean, it's, and what's telling about that is like, it's pretty much not believable to me.

I know a lot of people. And they know that. So the fact that that's the, that's the answer they give. It just shows you how little they, you know, they want you to know how little they give a fuck about how much you rate them and what they're doing. So. you thought he's going to be a hero I think he's right look to give him the benefit of the doubt it seemed like he did a pretty solid job if he thought he was overreaching you know perhaps he was

I think a lot of these times you got you know try to get these fucking slabs in the lie people go oh you they don't want to get him on instruction they want to get them on fucking the actual crime but it's like you know

when you destroy all the evidence and like you know lie and perjure yourself you know you can't so you get them on obstruction it's fair game but you know he seems to be the only one

I'm not saying I don't believe anyone's noble I think I'm single about everyone but on the service he seems like the only one doing the right thing like he took his time he didn't overly politicize it I mean if you think he did I don't look at very look

Trump was doing enough read the report I didn't read the full thing yet I should read it soon I could do audio book but you know I think it's pretty clear Trump was at the very least doing a lot crazy weird shit and so of course they're going to investigate

in him. It's like, it doesn't seem to be overreach to me, but whatever. But, you know, what did you think he was going to fucking, he's going to come out there and be like, look, I didn't put in a report, but, um, you know, I saw, I saw a video on with President Trump shoving

meat into his asshole, um, various raw meat and cooked meat. Um, and also he fucks his daughter. Like, you know, there's nothing, there's nothing. there's no heroes we don't have

like he's like and there was one it wouldn't be Robert truck and Mueller he's a lawyer like a procedural accountant lawyer like he he's not the guy

who fuck he did a good job a solid job at least but you know what you want to do fucking be Joan of Arc you want fucking Mueller

to fucking you know literally grab a spear and like you know throw it through the capital of rotunda I want to testify we'll testify why he even

he's like my report should speak for itself Like, yeah, you have a 450-page report It's pretty comprehensive I mean, like, you know, I don't know why you would They want the theatrics I mean, I get it, both sides want that for their thing But they wouldn't have to yell at the woman

For getting raped And in this case They want to yell at a... I guess what? They want Mueller, they want the optics of Mueller being like, I mean, it's not going to be good optics. That's the thing. They want to testify.

You think it's going to be some bombshell thing it's all going to be very procedural and fucking dry and like you know interesting if you're you know but like you know it's not going to this is not the thing that's going to get you elected you know Robert Mueller talk you need someone like E. Howard Hunt some maniac some Gordon Liddy that's what you need you need you need fucking uh get Roger Stone on the stand and let him try to make the case for Trump just sounds like a maniac anyway I'm running for president in 2020 so don't forget that uh I was hit up a little round wrapped us up soon. I have to go to work. I'm literally

at 8.40. Got a half of an Uber after this. If you message me on social media or, you know, with a cump podcast at gmail.com and don't respond right away. You know, I apologize in advance. And people hit me up sometimes. I mean to respond more. One guy hit me up, you know, about

everybody was talking about Michael Clayton and he said something that, you know, yeah, a little guy likes Michael Clayton, yeah. And I meant to respond. They didn't. And then the message was gone, because it went away. So if you're listening to that guy, you know, kudos. We're Michael Clayton buddies, and I meant to, you know,

feel free to contact me, is my point. You know, don't be spurned. I'm just, I'm not busy in a way that, like, successful people are busy, but I'm just, like, scatterbrained. I'm always, you know, moving, you know, I'm always late to the party, so I'm always scrambling.

But, uh, the good friend of the show, Ryan LaRock hit me up on you know, Gmail and asking for elaboration on the synthesizer that I built when I was a kid. He was also, apparently he's building his own kit. He's doing his own... He's making a low-frequency oscillator, I think. Good for him. And just, you know,

whenever you're building out, you showed me a picture. It seems much more put together. My thing, I got from the back of a Radio Shack book. It was like a... It looks like a workbook. You were getting school like a soft cover book about how to get into electronics and we'll give you these diagrams of stuff to build

like build a fan or build a pacemaker for your dad I had this kit which was separate but like it was like a I mean it's not like weird 301 electronics you know kits that you fucking build a fucking little shitty motor

or you build a fucking you hook up a light to the diode or whatever and it's like yeah look you make a light go like it's like you know if that gets the into electricity as a kid good. It's a good trade. But in the back of it, they had

a voltage-controlled oscillator and a low-pass filter, which at the time, I even know if they were synthesized through things. I mean, I knew those were synthesizer terms, but I didn't know if there was, like, other applications, because, like, there was nothing to describe, like, what... I guess, like, the other day, though, like, you know,

you can put a voltage-controlled oscillator in a lot of things. You know, fucking one of those stupid Tiger video games back in the 80s, probably had a VCO. And the bang goes, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, sounds and the penguins just moving with a stupid die over the penguin. Those games were terrible. But yeah, so I basically on this breadboard

I put together, I'm trying to remember the details. I mean, you got to bore you people. There was a 5-5-5-5 timing circuit involved. There was an integrated circuit. And so I made that and I made this filter and then I hoped I had to build this little box with the

just switches. I think maybe I got a panel of switches and then like hooked up different resistors to each one to, you know, to get some different tones out of it. Didn't sound good. It wasn't something I used for music. But, yeah, I'm proud of it. I'm happy I did it, whatever. You know, it wasn't, I didn't build some kind of crazy, you know, it's not something

you were to fucking seen in a Van Halen video, for instance, when, you know, when Hagar and fucking Van Halen or fucking, they got some girl who, like, they don't know how old she is. And it's like, yeah, you know, let's just play some synthesizer. And like, do you have a passport? court because they want to fuck her, but, you know, they don't want to, yeah, they don't know if she's on the rage or not, which, you know, only because, like, the roadies are there, like, normally it's just, like, if it's that night, you know, whatever. I mean, I can't say for sure.

I'm just assuming. But, yeah, those are, I build a, you know, shitty thing. Did I talk about how, like, my, you know, I think I did. I don't want to bring it up again. And my dad kind of, um, it's not his fault. I could have shown the ambition to fucking, uh, you know, rebe. build it myself and learned how to solder, but I didn't because I'm a big slob.

But no, I don't want people out there thinking I'm building Mug synthesizers and fucking, you know, and also building model trains. No, it was a shitty thing. It was cool for, you know, I was like eighth grade or whatever, ninth grade. But, you know, crafty, I guess.

I don't know. But maybe I'll build my own Faberjeet egg, for instance. That's something I could do. So, uh, we'll wrap this up. I have to go to work. I think it was a little rambly you know but I think we got some fun stuff um Diane Cage

Brit Pound Town Michael Ricardo Richard Hofstetter Jason Doberville Gary Barberer Ryan LaRocke Kevin Keith Veronese and Eric Frankel

thank you so much for you know supporting on Patreon if you want to support the show you can um money will probably go towards new microphones I know I said that last week it's at the works

because if someone hit me up asking me, you know, let me know the microphone I'm where to ship it to and I'll, you know, pay for it, which is generous. I almost didn't take them up. I mean, maybe this guy's rid of it.

So, like, I put it on an Amazon wish list and, and I don't, I mean, look, you're no obligation to do it, and it's fine. I haven't heard back. I feel weird, like, even taking it up on it. And now you just, you know, whatever.

But point is, so I have his wish list, And now I realize, hey, I don't know, maybe some of you people are, if any of you are rich and you want to buy someone with my Amazon wish list for me, you know, I'll put it out there, you know, uh, you can, if you, if your fucking dad owns some company that, like, poisons, like, you know, wells in, you know, the third world, um, yeah, spread the wealth, if that's the case, I mean, I don't want to take it money, but if your dad has money and you want to take it from him, I mean, I can't tell you to steal his money, but if he's giving you money to go have lobster dinners with your grandma, yeah, you know, maybe get me

a fucking new camera excuse me excuse me that's how I sneeze by the way it's a it's the way my dad used to sneeze I always thought he was just doing it on purpose and it was annoying

in adulthood that I've taken it over I don't know why I sneeze that way it's off putting but whatever what am I going to do so yeah so if you want to buy me some expensive things you know feel free look at the Amazon wish list there, but only if you're rich.

I don't want you fucking taking out a second mortgage to buy me shit I don't need. But yeah, let's take your dad's money. Also, Julian Assange, we'll give some of that to him, too. You know, I'll, depending on what you get me, maybe I'll share it with Julian Assange who's in jail. You know, when he gets out, I'm sorry, Julian, I haven't gotten you a lawyer. I think it was kind of silly of you to believe. me when I said that. I said it in a way where it was like, you know, it was awkward

when I made the promise to get, you know, you were kind of whining and I just said, you know, hey, I'll help you out and then like, you know, you have three different countries, you know, trying to get you. You think the lawyer I could afford is going to help you anyway? You need a good lawyer. So, we're still friends, Julian Assange,

and thank you for donating to my Patreon, but yeah, I, you keep he's email me. He's fucking asking me, like, you know, where's this lawyer? can you send some money? It's like, no, I you know,

it's not a fucking potwalk. You don't donate to my Patreon and I have to fucking sort of forking over a lawyer money? Crazy. I mean, support Julian Assange on your own terms. I can't be a seat. So, thanks to listen to the show.

You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Ray Kump. And check out our love is disgusting with me and Lucy Steiner for the This week we talked about, what we talk about? Crazy stuff. We have her spider veins, and I have this open sore on my leg, but she's all self-conscious about her spider veins. By it's like, I'm just literally, like, my skin is just falling off of my leg.

I don't even care. We talk about Lord of the Flies. It's a fun episode. I think this week's episode was called, Piggy Dies a Coward. I never saw a Lord of the Flies, but apparently the guy got killed his name is Piggy. I like calling people a cowards. It's fun. Especially kids, we get killed in books. So thanks for listening.

Enjoy it. I'll see you next week.