Kump - 25 - I'll Smash This TV With a Hammer

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

Ray gives advice to someone's sister about getting into mortuary science,  and talks about getting his shirt stolen and his awful roommates who might have done it.

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. Hello, welcome to Kump. I'm back in the closet where I record from while Lucy sleeps.

But now Lucy's been using this for her own purposes to record her own thing. I'm finding coffee in here Laptop I sit up I feel like a rat Like we live in a subway Like a subway station Some fat rat

And I came back in my shitty rat's nest To put the shit Like literally the human shit That I found When they crawled someone Of someone's ass And they That's what rats do right

I mean like they steal shit They eat food And they go through a subway Just crawling up If I was a rat I would just crawl up people's assholes and, like, steal shit out of their

asshole before they shit it. And then, you know, like, take it out of their ass and then hide it. And then, you know, just... Because rats are dumb. You know, you're acting like, why would a rat do that? I don't know. It's a fucking rat.

I don't know. I didn't go to college. Excuse me. Dr. I'm drinking some delicious diet, have to see. Straight from the two-liter bottle. Uh, this is my voice. voice is cracky in the morning it's a morning why yeah why are the rats steal shit out of your

asshole I don't I mean you've seen a rat they ain't doing equations it ain't fucking figuring out the Pythagorean theorem I mean that's not an equation is that equation a square B squared C square fucking rat I mean this yeah so anyway Lucy's stuff here it's it's foreboding or whatever makes me feel like someone got into my fat rat layer and like you know they moved my human shit over to the side I guess my collection of human shit

where it's my human shit it's in the middle I'm like oh they moved it over here because I got to put my fucking a cup of coffee and it was like you know what the fuck you're doing here it was my fucking rat nest

because I'm a rat do with a human shit I don't know maybe make a pyramid out of it like I'm fucking maybe make some kind of sculpture you know rat shit's disgusting you know

ratchet human shit is delicious um so welcome to the show i have a vendetta to talk about today a blood feud or vendetta that i'm about to start i guess vendetta um also uh i accidentally campaigned for a congresswoman that we all know um by trying to help the poor and the and the least fortunate by being um progressive or whatever um what he's the top i'm calling at some topics here you know i'm gonna get into them um first off i saw someone on twitter uh i didn't respond to you uh but i did see the question uh they asked me their sister weren't sister excuse me wants to get into mortuary science um do i know anything about that and the

answer is barely anything um i know people who are who do it so but i got to do that number and have you chat like this is a fucking monster that com yeah maybe i'll i don't know i don't know i mean what do you want to know what do you what you want from me no i have no i have no first-hand knowledge that'll help you really i mean i know people left there went to the morgue because they want to deal with people serious just doesn't want to deal with crying people's people like oh oh my person i love is dead my mother's dead and you're sitting there going why don't you buy the ten thousand dollar casket why don't hey we're here for you why don't you buy this fucking thing that goes in your dad's dick

and it keeps it in place while you rots in a $10,000 coffin honestly probably more these things are probably like $50 grand this is a cradle to hold your dad's dick while you maggots eat his fucking

stupid spleen it's a thing maybe well this this dildo this is a fucking marble dildo that we should shove up your farmer's ass and we fuck him with it

and we fuck him with it while we pour chemicals in his mouth that's what I picture these fucking guys this fucking him in the ass with Dilda he's chemicals you fucking fuck he's like

I don't know why I find this so funny just like pictures get taking your death his fucking sit by the ass he's just fucking his dead body in the ass with dildo why he pours chemicals in his mouth

excuse me it's never happened before I'm trying to keep professional here you were is there something I mean that seems to go whatever we're not going to explore why I get so giddy, thinking about some guy

getting fucked. I mean, I never did anything to a body. I mean, I didn't, I worked at a board, and I wasn't professional with anything, as it ever can be, honestly. I mean, I'm not being a beseeched, what I'm saying. I do very seriously. You know, I still have the hints of it, but, you know,

at the time especially, I think it was kind of a libertarianist. But not in a way to the Coke, you know, I mean, I was always a skeptical of the Tea Party, very skeptical, and the libertarian party. But, you know, maybe more with an anarchist, when the dust settled and the point is

I have you know I saw it almost as like a fucking thing of like you know if because no one was really fucking around and I saw I mean no one I didn't see anyone using people

as a puppet with you know with their hands in their ass or anything but you know the whole thing was very professional it's run by doctors you know um it wasn't like to see

you read these things in the fucking paper like the guy the fucking autopsy doctor the pathologist is keeping like organs and like a fucking storage unit I mean I wonder if it was

they were keeping in a storage unit or they were keeping it in their house and their wife like you have to leave because you've been fucking your bowling coach you have an affair where you're bowling coach you've been each other's assholes

and fucking each other and then you have to leave and he's like all right well I got to fucking put these somewhere you need to take those with you you can't you hold on to them their people's organs like no and so they put in the storage unit much like I lost everything in my storage unit

and then they lose it and everything goes to shit so yeah so we never did anything I mean I was always very you know but I imagine in some funeral homes you know if your dad died and your dad went to you know here's his body and then you they fuck him in the ass but they offer you hey look we're gonna fuck your dad in the ass with a porcelain with a dildo

they say we have we have a fucking wooden dildo it's all splinter it's made up like plywood it's stacked it doesn't even make them and they cut the plywood why would you just carve a nice piece of solid wood no they take plywood and they cut it the strips and they glue the strips

together to make some kind of weird layered dildo that they shoving your dead dad's ass and they go that's one option that's definitely going to happen unless you you have fucking, you need a pony up

and you pay for this fucking beautiful fucking polished piece of marble that's long, it's a dildo, it's mirror surface. I mean, not reflective, I guess. I don't mean you can ever make marble totally reflective. But maybe, like, maybe reflective

in the sense of what you kind of see in the shine your sense. And like, this will be the thing to be fuck your father with. This is what we'll use. We'll use this fucking beautiful. smooth surface and just fuck him in the ass until his mouth just opens up naturally and then we shoved this tube in his mouth and it's just I mean that's the kind of sales pitch you have to do now maybe it's not in reality a porcelain dildo that you fuck your father

in the ass it's probably like oh do you want us to fucking I mean I don't know what the options are because here's a deal. You know, I know a field director because I would deal with funeral directors. I'm my friend's a film director. But I don't, you know, talk shop all day about it.

But, you know, I don't know if your sister should be doing this. But, you know, for instance, like, you know, when, basically the way it works, as far as I know, the nuts and bolts of it. Is they cut one artery

in the neck to carotid or whatever, and then they got the other one. And then one, tube they show a tube in each and then the chemicals go in one tube in the neck and they go out the other tube in the neck and it goes all in the middle of your body so your body is older they go inside the neck and the artery and then these chemicals pump all the way through your body like a circuit and they come out the other side so the organs all stay in there as far as I know and yeah it's just basically your organs your blood you or whatever they feel everything fills up

but it's formaldehyde or whatever some formalin probably formalin's not quite formaldehy it's like a mixture um and there's that and so that's part of the job and then you know then they fucking that's why they hate when someone gets autopsy because you know

doesn't work anymore you got a fucking because you know when you're autopsy you fucking cut up in that fucking body you take all the organs out you're fucking cutting so that whole circuit doesn't exist anymore so you have to like what used to be two fucking insertion and they're fucking inserting that form like all around the body it's pain in the ass apparently um so there's that um

but yeah I mean beyond that like are they fucking what they sell it so you know they probably they sell that they sell the well that's their standard I guess so you know we're gonna pump your body full chemicals um do you want a nice coffin do you want a fucking I mean the makeup job job We can make your mother look like a fucking clown whore Like some fucking disgusting pig Unless you pay us It's like extortion kind of I'm sure the better places

Are nicer about it But I would always feel like extortive I mean I was a good salesman at one point I sold cameras But I feel like I always kind of But I never wanted to go to that extra extra mile Of like fucking people

I was always like you know Make money in the process of Because it's good I mean, a good numbers and stuff. Like, there's a lot of warranties. But those are to sell the warranties. We had flexibility in how we priced them. And, like, one of the reasons I sold them was, like, I made them, you know, we still

made a decent profit because warranties cost nothing when you're a store. It would be, like, we'd pay five bucks and then we'd sell it for $70. But I'd sell that point, like, yeah, if you were buying a camera for, like, it was a five-year warranty for $60 for a camera you pay, like, $3.00 for it's a pretty good deal. I wouldn't be the asshole charging you a hundred bucks or whatever so I made 10% of that

I think so you know three bucks six bucks you get your fucking juice in you get your fucking feel you get your taste but I never wanted to fuck people and then so it's like

hey like you know you want I'm trying to think yeah like your mom I got your mom's body you want me to paint do like a fucking, like she's just sucking clown dick, and then the fucking lipstick got smeared. Oh, you don't want that?

And then she fucking, we fucking, you know, jiggled around her eyeballs of a fucking, you know, a comb until she's fucking crying. And then her mascara smeared, and I'm fucking her in the ass. Like, you want that? You don't want that? Oh, why don't you pay me 10 grand for this fucking dead person makeup? This fucking makeup job we do.

Well, no, we'll get the girl, The girl who doesn't do as good of a job Yeah, no, there's people who make less money But they fucking make it look like I fucked her in the ass With a combing her eye You know, like fucking That's how to sit. I'd probably be great at this.

I'd probably be a great funeral director Because I would just Like a dead body is a dead body I mean, unless you believe in, you know I guess the, I mean, I'm a Catholic by birth or whatever By my elapsed Catholic how do you kind of laps Catholic? It might mean there's a laps

Catholic someone who doesn't who doesn't cannot look anymore how does this work um is a lapse Catholic someone who doesn't like you know give a priest a kid the fuck like well you're like you know if you don't give a if you turn 30

and you haven't given a priest a kid the fucking amount there you go well you're kind of a lap's Catholic now you're not doing your job um well um but point is I want my bringing this up

something about Catholics Excuse me It's early in the morning I had to get up Early to do this Um Fucking the body Make up

I don't know If you're not a Catholic Oh yeah because you know I don't know if Catholics care About the body Getting raised up Like I mean They want you to have a Christian burial

They say right So your body can be raised up It's all horseship That whole thing was invented By funeral directors so that they could fucking hold your body hostage and go, you don't want your mother to look like I fucked you in the mouth

so give me some, you know, 10 grand, 20 grand. Everything's probably like 30 grand. And then you have your life insurance. You know, some cops shot this kid in the face. And it's like, yeah, he wants to put it back together. 100 grand. I don't know. I mean, they can do work with like putty and stuff. Who knows?

I mean, cops and Navy, some Navy SEALs. shot your kid you know oh i'm so sorry some navy seals shot your kid uh you want me to put the massive uh the artillery shell he shot at point blank range into your son's face you want me you're going to leave that in there you're going to take it out i'll take it out for 20 grand um so he's sister wants to do this kind of work um yeah i mean get into it i guess I mean, it's also probably rewarding because you're handing tissues to people when they cry. And I don't know. I don't know what drives people to want to do this.

It seems like the most weird. I mean, I know some people who didn't like the front of the house work, and they thought it was all going to be, like, you know, just putting people's fucking neck and, like, plugging up their asshole so they don't shit themselves. I mean, I never liked that show six feet under that much. pose a little bit. I don't. Maybe I did like it for a while, but as you go, I mean, I watched it as it aired

when it came out, and I felt like it was getting a little whatever. But, I mean, I remember the first episode and I'm saying, like, you fucking talked to me about sacrifice. I showed cotton balls in my father's asshole this morning. Or, no, it's our father's asshole this morning.

So shit wouldn't leak in the coffin. I always thought that was a very nice moment. And so if that's what your sister watching, I want that job. then i guess do it i mean i don't tell you i mean is your what's your sister is your sister into death though that's the thing i don't get any people what you fucking metal kids i don't get it i don't understand like i got in the work thing not because of any like it's just like it lands i was in a wedding photography because it's fucking you know the people who are

into bodies like who gives a shit it's a bunch of it's just a person who's just not talking It's the same dumb fuck You see in the street You see in a subway And now it's like you see his inside Like there's nothing metal about It's something like Ooh yeah, fucking dead people

Rass from the days And with zombies Who gives a s What's a dork? Like you're basically playing Lord of Rings I don't know why there's any difference Between Lord of Rings and like Metal music

It's like fucking Yeah It's just a skull Oh yeah It's a fucking Grow up It's a fucking much a lump of flesh

just a lump of fat and bones pissed and shit I mean he's honestly mostly pissing and shit I'll tell you that much It's just a life of pissing everything smells like piss and shit and garbage I mean a decompose like piss shit garbage You throw in an orange there because it's like a citrus

smell of it for some reason But then And then the rioted meat And uh is that Lucy Lucy Lucy just walk out the door She can fucking walk out the door She's probably the piss

I don't know if you guys Could hear it The fucking The door is open In this place She's awake I woke up Lucy with my podcast So yeah

So that's raise advice column For today Talking about Mortuary Science I guess Yeah get into it Why not I have a vendetta I'm in the middle of a feud.

First of all, my shirt's been stolen. I bought, you know, look, up in, leading up to, into the summer, I was wearing, still wearing my, like, Dickie's pants, which I get from Amazon. And, you know, for a little loom hoodie, which is, you know, now I got a super warm hoodie.

But, you know, it's gotten, I wore it way longer than you would think. into the summer months uh for real reason and uh not too long ago i bought or for amazon one of these fucking buttoned up shirts these amazon basic shirts that you have a big and tall the fat he a fat boy put this rag on your fucking back and fucking eat eat this he just fucking twink you while we fuck you by selling you a shitty shirt because he's shirt I mean it look fine I mean, I don't know. But they rip very easily.

They get one tear, and then all of a sudden the stitching just completely falls apart. And so I ordered, you know, I have ordered shorts and other shirts so I can be a person in the summer. There's not just wearing a hoodie, like a creep. And then I bought another one the other day because I'm going on dinner. My family is like, I'll get a fresh shirt, any extra one anyway. And I ordered it the same day on Amazon on Saturday. day we get home later in the day it ain't there i think i didn't realize it i think i didn't check it on sunday morning but the shirt um it ain't there and then you know i'm telling lucy

she's i'm telling her look someone stole my fucking shirt she said oh why you know you think that maybe amazon just you know delivered then delivered but they said they you know it's just late And they tell you when it's late It's Amazon They got a guy riding a robot Spider Like a fucking spider robot And he's clawing people

And he's fucking You know Probably sexually harassing women And a spider robot That's the thing that It talks about With the Amazon robot Warehouses

Excuse me This episode is brought to you By Diet Pepsi you know those rats we gave those rats cancer on purpose NutraSuite doesn't have cancer this is a copy I'm reading those rats died they had cancer because they were fucking eating an arugula

um so what was I saying oh yeah look no one wants to think of an Amazon and at warehouses being places I'm sure sexual harassment is going on but no one's thinking about futureized in technological sexual harassment

where guys in spider robots like robots that like so he's in his pod and then like you know shooting out of it or fucking legs you know spider legs and I don't you know why does it sound like a spider probably so he could crawl up

you know these huge they have these like 30 foot 50 foot 100 foot tall you know shell like shouts all the stuff on it and he crawls up it's vertically it's actually a great idea um crawls up the wall vertically and gets the pet you know the the my doll or the fucking tampons and then um you know he gets the bad and so he's in a spider but then he uses that to like you know maybe grandwoman's tit or an ass i mean it's not like it's not the most like he's not feeling the ass and tits but he like it's the power trip you know it's all about power they say so there you and um so sorry if my uh ordering my shirt same day enabled that i recently watched john oliver did the whole you know what was if you watch

that john oliver show in hbio it's very good i don't like a lot of things but i like it i think it's good i think he's a funny guy uh much fun of ed helms i've learned i'm going to really not enjoy ed helms as a person I mean, I don't know. I don't know. But I feel like it's, I guess, annoyed enough by him that I shouldn't, should I talk shit in public about it? Yeah, I watch the U.S. a lot over the time and, like, you know, his character, maybe just his character in the office is stuff for, I mean, weirdly written that it's bleeds into it. I don't know. Point is, I like the general of a show. He did an ex-posé on, um, on what Amazon warehouses and how they're basically counting people's steps and, I'm basically indirectly forcing them not to take a piss because, you know, if they take a piss,

if they're going to piss and shit, you're gonna fucking not hit your quota. So you don't take that piss and shit. I'm just pissing shit in this box of Rorios, maybe. Like, you know, oh, here's a hammock. I would just find hammocks and just piss and shit in the hammock. Because if you're ordering a hammock, fuck you. Imagine the kind of smug piece of shit.

Who fucking wears a hammock off Amazon? You fuck, you cheap fuck. You fucking, fucking get you baby killed because they get wrapped up. I mean, I don't blame the company at that point because, like, who can design a hammock that wouldn't kill a baby? Seems really hard. I mean, I want to start a hammock, raise hammocks. And I'm going to, like, fucking, what, hire some physicist, some fucking, uh, physics guy. The fucking, you know, hey, make sure babies can't get wrapped up in this.

And he's like, well, it's going to cost you a lot money. I got to build a machine that tests this out and put the fake babies in it can't you just get a real baby don't you have a own baby maybe hire physicists with a baby like I hired you because you have a baby and you're having a baby

like that's what you hired me well you mentioned at the interview yeah I mentioned that you asked me about my personal life I mean it's always a little invasive but whatever and like no I want to know if you're the baby so you can maybe save some money

with these fucking fake babies that we got to use no my whole point to see the baby's going to die I'm not going to put my baby in a fucking hammock testing machine. I was like, why are you being such a fucking dick? Just fucking, you got this fucking baby. I don't have a baby.

I haven't met someone yet. I haven't fucking found someone to share my life with and have a baby with. You're going to fucking, you know, you help me use your baby for my test. You fucking prick. So that would be fine. I mean, I should have a hammock company. I can make such great hammock. could I just make weird little hammocks

to have like Star Wars themes I mean you know I hate people who like Star Wars stuff you know that we've talked about that but I would exploit them I would make a Harry Potter hammock I would make a fucking I don't know fucking human sympathy's hammock

to this fucking little I mean it wouldn't really put you go in your mouth and the ass but you know it would have like two bodies in the hammock with you that'd be an expensive one that'd be a real premium hammock Oh, right.

But, you know, so that's, you know, if I worked at the Amazon Warehouse, at my point, I would find those hammocks and shit into them. Because, you know, those companies aren't doing what I would do. If I was owned the company, they'd be good hammocks, and the people who bought them would be great, and we'd all love each other. But I don't trust anyone who's got a hammock on Amazon now. So I would find justifications to shit into things, is my point. So I'm sorry

Oh, it's my shirt So I'm sorry if My shirt Enable some guy in a spider robot To grabs a woman's tit Hopefully that stops soon But either way They fucking

They tell you They fucking tell you If something's gonna be late They haven't contacted me Now it's 36 hours Because I went on And you can't even lock on

We can't even like Complain They wait 36 hours because sometimes, you know, it can happen that, like, the fucking driver says he delivered it. Probably because, like, you know, they have a gun to the driver's kids' head.

You know, hey, this is your daughter. And you, what's your name? What's her name? And you're, what's the fucking? And you're Tina. Hey, Tina. You want to meet the Grim Reaper? He's told me a gun trip.

You want to meet the Grim Reaper? And he's like, you know, if you don't fucking, if you fucking, don't deliver this package right at 8 p.m. We're gonna fuck. This guy's hammock, his shitty hammock, his Harry Potter hammock. We're gonna fucking shoot your daughter in the mouth

and she gets them beat the Grim Reaper. I mean, the guy's not the most menacing guy. It's a little corny, but I'm going to meet the Grim Reaper, you bitch. So they probably hit the buttons as we delivered it, and they didn't deliver it. That's one option. Or maybe someone stole my shirt,

is my point. and that's where the vendetta's coming in because of a feeling someone's stealing my shit someone stealing my shirt like I took the time at 7-11 it's 7-11

who's out here no one's in the room now where's Lucy go so 7-11 that's not the point someone stole my shirt the vendetta the blood feud

uh excuse me right so look i got this room made here he's you know we talk about it on our love is disgusting maybe our show this guy's just fucking he went left for three weeks and like had like Airbnb people living here fucking like he like rented his room out in Airbnb so he's fucking always different people these people from france and italy who knows all sorts of like i mean because there weren't immigrants in the sense of like they're richer you know people who are like white European countries

staying in there being Scandinavians you know people who aren't even like like they probably have four or tablet like they just want to fucking steal my underwear and like look at my girlfriend's ass and jerk off

you know just real creepy guys from fucking you know Western Europe and it's like staying here I get a different couple every night different people every night it was fucking him not it was you know he's in some place we can afford not to work so i have to fucking run this out i was like i don't know let me save money i don't know but like weird it's

weird all right but then he comes back and then like i got my old tv in the living room he like set it up on some fucking pedestal and he's fucking and like now he's back he just fucking doesn't seem to be working every he's watching the whole day every fucking day and it's fucking comes out and he's watching trashed trash movies like fucking never-ending story revisited or the fucking sequel like these guys are pretentious guy you were talking about movies like I don't watch emce you that's unbroken I'm not like I go around bragging they watch the MCU you know hey you watched the fucking new ant man I watched it again for the

15th time you know so it's so fucking good I'm the best I'm Marvel fan that's not me uh hey fucking hey who am I I'm fucking like stab myself funny eye and he's like oh i'm nick fury no it's not me uh but people who's like I don't watch those kind of people get pretentious about Marvel films it was like it's like do you remember like how shitty like action movies

were like 10 to 15 years ago I mean it was all Transformers and like fucking look there was a prime time for action movies but I mean in between you had like Jerry Berkheimer Michael Bay movies all the time and fucking Armageddon and you shit

I mean, some crap I mean, you know If he's like Excuse me Excuse me That's not professional I should be shot in the face for that Um

Point This is the point The point is You know He's just watching TV all the time Having people Like sleeping in the common area Like his friends coming over

Just staying Which is like If you ask it's fine It's like every It's just everything It's everything It's like He's like he went

from being the better roommate because the other ones are fucking, there's always playing the worst fucking music and just I'm not just

he's fucking always talking about like Andrew Yang fucking Andrew Yang like people who support Andrew Yang are just fucking you're kind of a maniac

you know I mean unless you're Asian is purely like I get if Asians want an Asian president and it's not racist that means I think it's normal I mean

people who go oh you're only over for Obama because you're black If you're black, it's like, yeah, well, why not? What's the problem with that? You know, I mean, I'm not breaking new ground here, but it's like, you know, you're getting fucking fucking, why not vote for the black?

It's literally, like, Obama happened to be an exceptional, I think a great guy all around. I mean, yeah, was he predator-droning people? Sure, like, reality, reality is that, you know, you're in the political apparatus, it's like, you know, you're not going to fucking change the way, I mean, would Bernie change? They probably be murdered.

But, you know, I think he was very articulate. That seems like semi-racist to me almost. But he was, it was a great speaker. It wasn't just a great speaker for, he was one of the best, you know, communicators as far as presidents that we've ever seen. And I think he's a good, I mean, like he inherited this fucking mortgage crisis.

I mean, yeah, there's a lot of moves an emergency crisis in a vacuum seemed like sketchy but it's like you know this whole thing's falling apart what you want them to do so I don't know um cash for clunkers yeah I mean anyone nitpicked that I mean the whole fucking thing was falling apart capitalism was falling apart the seams

truck and front bit together point is um so if you're if you're voting for Andrew Yang because he's Asian and you're Asian I guess it other than that though it's whole we'll give people $1,000 it's like

it's dumb I don't get into it now with dumb. I mean, first, because people get more than $1,000 a month, and you complain about that, but, I mean, people are just building and shit, and it's like, you know, that all gets eaten up in there.

So it's like, wait, it's like, this whole minimum income thing. We're going to solve with the quality. It's like, really? Because, like, if I can, you know, I'm going to use that money to, you know, make my new techno, electronic music album,

and then maybe start a business, and then there's other guys trying to feed his family with it, and it's like, I'm still He's just He's just buying food for his family I'm fucking investing in

Bitcoins It's not Not solving inequality He's just you know Give me money And you know To get any equality You gotta give it

The people who don't You can't give it the people Who don't need it Maybe I don't talk about right now It's just be the trash animal It's fucking Just playing his music all the time

It's being obnoxious But he's actually the better one now Because this other one is just fucking Because this other one's just fucking He came back he's fucking just watching his trash movies and he's fucking and he got mad when last week i fucking i came out he's playing some fucking show with his friends over at like one the morning on sunday and i came out i just yeah i went i can't i once i was like hey can't you lower

that it's really loud can you lower it and the next day he's like oh i was trying to be old passive aggressive like you're fucking i yeah is there a problem because you know it almost sounded like you you'd already asked me but i don't think you did i was like no it was really can consider it you know as well i am and like don't try to pass aggressive me you think you're gonna fucking i'm a animal i'm a fucking man you know i'm not as a maniac who like bites people i'm not gonna bite you off the bat but i mean do you think you're gonna fucking i'm gonna let you fucking try to needle me and fucking pass their aggressive like oh you're so almost like you no i didn't fucking ask you before and still fuck you you know i'm like to let you get over

on me like that um so my point is this my tv so it's like you know he's always out there And Lucy, this is the conflict that we have Because I'm like, I got a solution here It's my fucking TV I'll go out there with a hammer and break the TV Or at least taking away Me or keep it But I'll fucking, if it comes down to it, I don't get it a fuck

I'll break this fucking thing with a hammer I'll fucking start smashing it I'll take a drill and just fucking unscrew the screen And just start fucking it I'll start fucking my own TV And the fucking transistors I'll do it And uh

But Lucy's very, you know doesn't like conflict and I get it and I'm a big loud animal but you know there's a there's a tension because you know how I want to solve the situation versus how Lucy wants to solve it it's very tense um but yeah um but I think this guy might stolen my shirt or like not stolen it but like throwing in the gar I check the garbage cans um because that's what I would do I mean if I was in a few with someone I spend their package I mean I can't I wouldn't do that because it would be mail fraud right and that's a crime I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't just take your package and throw it in a fucking trash and then fucking just drill holes in it so that make sure a rat could go in there and shit and then like this is your fucking mom's corpse and then fucking take a porcelain dildo and fuck your package. I wouldn't do that because that'd be fraud, huh? I would never do that. Yeah, got to be careful.

The FBI probably listens and fucking tells them the postal service. This guy's talking about packages. Maybe you should fucking arrest him. He said he might fucking steal a package and throw it out or something. You know, I'm not. I'm officially not. But the point is, that's how I think. So I know all the people are going to try to do it to me because, you know, not in a month.

Because I'm progged and pretty out there, but pretty smart. So, yeah, what was I talking about? So we're in this feud. And we, you know, this is because I feel like it's bothering me up. I feel if you let me be aggressive a little bit. and like just fucking solve the problem that's too aggressive it's not I mean it's it's it's aggressive

to take the TV away I mean they think I mean like take the TV away like in the middle of the party you wake up the next day you wake up and you know he wakes up and the TV's fucking gone like what happened to the TV is like I don't know you steal my TV that's what I would do too

you steal my TV we lost the middle of the night the way Stalin would do shit in Soviet Russia, you know, you wake up and then all your friends are, I mean, I guess it's more I was gonna say you wake up and all your friends are gone. But in reality, you probably heard the, you know, was the NKVD knocking the door down

and drag them to the gulag. You're probably not asking, you're kind of like, I mean, you ask you in the sense of like, hey, what's having more friends? Because, you know, you're afraid of the police state apparatus. But you, what you really mean is like, hey, you can't be like, hey, Gary, you got fucking taken to the gulag crazy.

because then your other friend will be like this guy's a fucking a rat this guy's a fucking capitalist he's complaining about the gulogs you can't even talk about it that was a worse thing about soviet Russia but you couldn't even really complain reliably a lot of this

I mean I'm sure people had friends who they could complain to but you were always paranoid that the person you complained to is going to rat you out so everyone's just kind of like hey what happened to gary and like that's exactly how this would be

Like, hey, what did you steal my TV? You steal my TV? TV's not here. Maybe you stole it. Hyper normalization shit, you know? I'd be so good and effective at this. I'd be turning tables. You know, because that's the thing.

My whole thing is like, I... Like, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that's what... I mean, that's what Bush did. I mean, I don't support the war on terror because it was basically a terrorist. You know, what am I going to do it? But, you know, the point is... But, you know, to be the terror. That's what the war on terror really was.

It was like, we're the terrorists. no we're the fucking you want you want to fucking attackers of planes you're what we've been doing over the past 50 fucking years

we've been fucking training people in like Venezuela they're like torture people and like you know pipes and other shit a lot of the shit

um not every I can't get to everything in every episode I can't get into Venezuela um I'm pretty sure with Venezuela

I'm pretty sure we did in Venezuela it was other countries too I can't keep track of if you can give me shit you know can't keep track yeah oh no we only fucked over Guatemala and Cuba and fucking you know Honduras and I'm sorry you know if I get it wrong occasionally but I'm pretty sure in Venezuela we had we helped see your police for a while back in the day um what am I

talking about I've been dead oh yeah let me have you know um I that's my poor whatever I don't I know there's a feud um I feel like if you let me let me let me let me let me let me let get out get out of my system fucking things will end quickly you know things will just fucking

you know resolve themselves but people won't prolong it if you want to act like I won't just smash the TV and it's getting frustrating because I'll smash the TV

it's my TV I mean it's my old place um that had the rat shit in it or the mouse shit whatever but you know my old place um

I was a break it I don't get a fuck but they got Lucy and Lucy's very nice and gentle It's good, but we're making a good team. But, you know, I got to convince her to let me break stuff. She's not holding me back in the middle of that sounds wrong.

But she's like, you know, she's preventing me from doing something that's probably not smart, but, like, would make me feel good, just to break things. I also, like, she doesn't think that, like, someone stole my stuff. You know, I don't know. At this point, it's been 36 hours. I mean, I won't let you complain until 36 hours later. And it's 36 hours, no. I still have my fucking shirt

Um So is that I should really get out of here Okay Um AOC Oh yeah I went and helped

AOC's campaign Uh I'll make this quick But uh I ended up canvassing yesterday To help people with this whole Did I talk about it already The ice raids

I don't know Yeah we talked about this right These raids we're talking about our love is disgusting you can tune into our love our love is disgusting if you don't listen yet it's my podcast of Lucy Steiner

if you like this you'll love that so don't check it out and you can hear all about how we I mean I don't I was just you know helping people in these reads give them information

and what's do with these eyesore I mean what are these eyesurps is doing what kind of hump apparently not getting signed warrants from judges and it's like I mean what kind of bootleg copy shit is this. Like, what kind of cop did you want to be?

Or you're just finding guys who, like, could have flunked out of a gym teacher school. And it's like, hey, you want, you want a gun and you can fucking, you know, do a warrantless raid on some, like, you know, people who came from Honduras and it's like, yeah, sure. I don't know. I mean, at a certain point, you know, look, of course it's dumb to equate everything that you don't like with Dotsies.

Of course, right? Of course. And people, there were plenty of Democrats do it way too often, way too quick. And, uh, I'll say, most of them even but you know if you don't see the parallel like is a you have to agree that it's like 100% that but if you don't see the menacing potential of of these actions I mean you kind dumb or lying to yourself because it was like did well oh well these two people shouldn't be here legal like you can make a logical case I guess people should be here but I mean if you look at

the history of how people came here well we came here legally well we had Ellis Island I mean what the fuck you people would come on boats and like was they like look you you you contact me you tell me because i try to look at this one's maybe not too much i maybe i should be a better researcher but like how many people were rejected at ellis island because we're acting like you know well they came here they came here legally well they got in a boat they landed and the boat landed at Ellis island they came out and someone gave them spaghetti and then they were whatever and uh and they're called the day and you're in america now so i mean like you know you show me to parallel how easy it is to get here and whatever it's like um

i don't know it also it's like you know if nothing else if nothing else it's like you could i'm not saying i'm agreeing with it but let's just say everything was like a valid point that you're making it's like you're still doing this to like a like you know the bolster support and get you know and through fear tactics you know which is like you're which is always tip you off right like someone someone's fucking getting you on like hey they're trying to fuck you that guy's fucking you all right that's just rule one like no there's no one no one's out there like altruistically like helping you not get fucked someone's trying everyone's trying to put

their dick in you right everyone's trying to fuck your mouth in your ass and take your shit right and you store those human shit in your rat hole someone's trying to get your human shit right so like these fucking guys so yeah it's like it's the idea of using these of dangling immigrants as some kind of threat in of itself if not if there's all sorts of other reasons but if nothing else is like it's the problem

right so it's like you know I don't forget why we were talking I feel it's been addressed a lot oh so I end up going to help they had the information the people these ice raids are happening which I don't know they got delayed or they got fucking they were smaller than they thought

whatever but it turns turned out that it seemed to be some kind of me look we still did help people and it was fine but it was a more politicized thing i think than i thought it was going to be whatever um if you want to hear more about that is our love is disgusting our love is disgusting um i don't have my fucking thing right now the uh list of people i mean uh steve hopstetter night shift lifestyle uh that's steve hopster that's a comic right I don't know. Reinhops.

I don't know. Michael Ricardo. Julian Assange. I switched phones and I don't, and I went to grab the old phone and had it and wasn't powered up. So I will, you know, I'll mention again next week all you.

Because I know some people don't want to be mentioned anymore because they're, you know, their jobs are like, you know, they're realizing this person is a patron of the show. And we talk about, you know, Dad's getting fucked in the ass with a dildo when they die. You know, I ain't going to censor myself, but yeah, I'll censor your name if you're, you know, these are my Patreon people, of course, by the way, we're talking about. So, you know, thank you so much. You can donate to my patrons on my Instagram and Twitter at Ray Kump.

You can find me in Twitter at Ray Komp, and if you want to donate, you can find a link there. Well, you know, I don't want to say that we're going to make premium tiers. we are but yeah I keep saying I get around to it so thank you so much yeah we'll come back this episode is a little delayed so you know

we'll get back on a regular schedule so enjoy thanks so much have a great week bye You know, I'm going to be.