Kump - 34 - KlobuKump

Episode Date: March 7, 2020

Ray bids farewell to Amy Klobuchar's Presidential bid, speculates on her future, has some advice for the Bernie Bros, and reminisces about sweating during job interviews. 

Hello and welcome to Kump. I want to start off the show by giving a fond farewell, at least in the context of a presidential candidate to Amy Kloberch. Amy Klobuchar has, you know, in recent weeks and months, on some level indeed herself to me. I mean, kind of a mad woman. If you're not familiar with her, she wasn't particularly viable as a candidate, it seems. She got a shot, some would say surprise, someone would say shocking, some would say rat-fucking endorsement from the New York Times, along with Elizabeth Warren

to get a joint endorsement that's where you might if you don't follow politics that closely you might at least remember that the two women she's one of the two women and you know she's kind of the first time I ever encountered

reading about Amy Clobert I think it was in the Times ironically was an article about basically what a mad woman she was She was at a senator at the time, just throwing staplers at staff and just being really abusive. And I'm pretty sure she'd demean them. I don't know if she did any kind of, I don't think she abused them sexually. But there might have been some kind of sexual shaming going on.

Probably not. But I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, like, you know, frat like stuff. Like, you know, go hold this egg in your ass because you didn't properly proof-free disability. that I'm trying to, you know, put the set on the floors. Now, go walk through the rotunda of the Capitol building with this hard-boiled egg in your, or not hard. It wouldn't be a hard-boiled egg because that would be easy, right?

Because it would just be, it's soft or whatever. So you want to have a fresh egg. He makes someone hold in their ass. And is that, I mean, is this a thing? I don't know. I wasn't raised as an elite. I didn't go to an elite college. I'm a part of sculling bones or any kind of other fraternity.

I don't know what people put in my ass for shaming purposes. You know, I don't know. Or how are they, you know, but I wouldn't put it past the woman, is all I'm saying. She famously ate a salad with a comb on an airplane, I believe, because she didn't have a fork. I don't know why the airplane didn't have a fork for her. They seem to have forks usually. But maybe she had a comb in her purse. And, you know, some people would be.

disgusted to use their own comb to eat, but not Amy Klobuchar because she is a special I don't mean that just facetiously. She's a special type of woman, especially in politics, because I mean, look, I mean, is it gross? She asked her staff to clean the comb after she ate,

which I guess you don't want to be shoving salad dressing in your hair later on. But I find it interesting that her hair, like, I'm not saying she has lice. You know, I'm not saying that. Amy Klobuchar has like verment, uh, infestations in her hair or, you know, that she has grease, dandruff grease and is there dandruff grease or grease? Dandruff or grease. I think they're kind of opposites. I have dandruff. My hair's not greasy at all. That's how I know. But either one. I mean, I don't want flaxive dandruff in my soup or my salad, but you know,

Amy Klobuchar don't fuck around, I guess. Or she has immaculately clean hair, which doesn't seem like her type of, you know, her M.O. She's not a Tulsi Gabbard type. I'm not saying she's an ugly woman or she's a grotesque. I mean, look, doesn't matter if she was. This is 2020. We can have ugly people in politics. We can have fat people in politics. We've had them forever. I mean, there was a, we used to have more time, I guess, but, you know, there was a time right after Nixon took a shit debating Kennedy. He was all clammy because he wasn't, you know, they say I'm about to repeat what's probably

a Nixon myth because they blame it on the fact that he wasn't prepped for television. Like Kennedy was a young guy. If you're not familiar with this, in 1960, Richard Nixon, who was the vice president,

was running against Kennedy, ended up losing. And a lot of people attribute that a large part. I mean, besides Sam Jean-Cana stealing Chicago for Kennedy, but also to the fact of

debate performance by Nixon because Nixon is just all clamped up just sweating. Looks like a pig. There's a pig like a, you know, being, you know, in a kangaroo court. And, you know, people say it's because he wasn't prepped.

He wasn't ready. I don't know. I mean, the guy, if you listen to the wardingade tapes, the guy was kind of, I mean, has anything come out about him being a drug addict about him, like, just doing blow or shoot?

I mean, Kennedy was doing amphetamine. all the time, and those can make you sweat. I mean, there's been plenty of times on Adderall when I've been sweating like a pig just, you know, just in the middle of job interviews, just trying to explain. I remember at the morgue, the first interview

I went on. Here's the thing about the morgue. I mean, you got to understand, it's like a county job. What is a county job? And you have to, you know, basically take a test, first of all. In this case, it was a civil service test, but photography specific. And, yeah, I knew my stuff pretty well.

So I didn't, I wasn't have a top score, but I was like in the top three or four people. So they went through some people first. I had to wait a couple years. They're like, they'll bring you in for an interview and then you'll hear anything for six months. And then, so I basically, I think I went to three different interviews.

And the first one, and I didn't know any better at the time, I had to meet with the head of the crime lab, which is not part of the medical examiner's office where I worked. It's in the same building, but they've got different wings. The crime lab, like, you know, they run, like, you know, they want to, like, run tests on drugs, I guess, and, you know, run guns for, like, you know, ballistics. And they weren't closer with the cops. They're not, you know, directly part of the cops.

But I had to meet with the head, you know, the head of the crime lab, which is just because people, I found it later, it was just because people were on vacation. And instead of just rescheduling, like, normal people, they decided to have a guy who I would never work with. I mean, I would see him. sometimes at like Christmas parties and we'd say hello over the course of the three or four years I was there I this is the guy who I mean I assume he knew that I was supposed to be a photographer

I don't know if he thought I was just a janitor but the point and reason I bring up the story is that I was sweaty and look I guess I sweat when I'm nervous a bit maybe but I also probably took some matter all before you know why not it's an important thing you want to be on your best put your best foot forward so why not have mounds of sweat dripping off your forehead and going through your shirt because keep in mind i was working at a potato bread warehouse at the time so i wasn't used to wearing like

and you know still not used to wearing dress shirts with like ties all bound up you know tucked in I mean even when I did photography like wedding photography I wouldn't wear a tie I wore ties growing up as a kid but I'm saying he's a level you got like you should go

be able to go to a job interview this is what they don't want but you should just be able to go in your normal clothes and some people do you got to play power moves because they put you on the back foot by making you like

I mean I wore a goddamn shirt and tie to a McDonald's interview and the guy kind of called me out I think I'd, you know, put Deca on my application, which I wasn't a lie, technically, because I had gone, if you know, Deca is like a business class in high school, not a business club, and you do like business, mock business stuff. I don't really know.

I went to one meeting. It wasn't for me. So, you know, I went to a Catholic school day. I got kicked out eventually, so I'd like take a bus. I couldn't walk home so like you basically was a late bus so like I'm not going to stay

two and a half hours after school every day to like you know do mock marketing meetings and try to pitch you know asbestos but like rebranded

I wish I did this now I mean if I can go if I can go back I wouldn't like fuck the hot girl or like be one of the popular kids I would just be part of Deca and just like

do really good pitches for like you know, toxic materials, different kinds of pesticides. They'll end up giving people cancer because that's what business is. I mean, if they didn't go for it, which I don't know, maybe they do. I'd love to know. I would have been so good at this. I mean, they probably wouldn't have, especially in my school, gone for it.

But, I mean, that would, I mean, they should really scout kids to see who's trying to be duplicitous in Deca. But anyway, I put Deca on my application. And the guy was like, Oh, I was in Deca, the guy at McDonald's. I mean, obviously, I'm going to say he's making more money than I was. So I was going to shit on the fact. Obviously, it did well. But, I mean, he was a manager.

Someone believed in him. So, I mean, I don't know if I'm in a position, maybe after, you know, after 20 some odd years or whatever. Maybe I'm in a position to look down on him, not for his job, but just, you know, whatever. I mean, but the point did it. But at the time, no, he was going to make me a manager when I was 15 or 16. I mean, I was sweating profusely, and, you know, and it was, you know, marginally misleading people about Deca. So I don't, but the point is it didn't really lead to a Fortune 500 company for him. Where did we go?

That's the charm of the show, the tangents, but we're talking about it was Clobuchar, but, oh, so, you know, I'm at the morgue, I'm just sweating profusely at this guy. And he, and he, and I'm answering questions. I'm doing all right, I think. but he's like, oh, you're sweating a lot. I'm like, ah, you know, I'm just, I just sweat a lot. Like, are you nervous? Like, no, I just sweat a lot. And I kept repeating this to him, to him.

And they go, oh, it's okay. My son sweats constantly, which I thought was an odd admission. I mean, it was a nice, warm thing to do to try to make me feel better. It'd be funny if my son's a crackhead. He sweats all the time. So you're not getting the job, which I didn't at the time. Then, I mean, I went to two different interviews. I think eventually I met with the chief medical examiner,

which is more appropriate because I was directly under her. And she called out of sweating. And I, again, said, I'm not nervous. I just sweat a lot. I don't think they didn't even try to make me feel better. I don't think they believed me. They probably thought it was on, you know, drug. I mean, prescribed medication.

But you should be able to, like, you know, wear one of those bracelets that, you know, that says, like, hey, this guy will sweat. all the time, and it's just an official thing. So my point is, how does I relate to clobiture? She was a beast of a woman. How did we get on to the sweating? And I believe, oh, because she's sweat all the

time. I don't know. But, you know, she's not the kind of person that you would have groomed to be president, right? Like, she's not an unattractive person, or some people are like, you know, do she guys will say, oh, ugly. She's plain. And she's a normal woman.

What do you want to tell you? A maniac, an aggressive maniac, but a normal woman. And, you know, but she's just, no one's putting on the cover of a magazine unless she makes a trade deal with Iraq or something. So I wonder who, like, groomed her. Because you, Tulsi Gabbard, you see. Not that anyone really did a good job grooming her. But, you know, Pete Buttigieg, groomed.

I mean, you know, by a CIA. But still, he's a good-looking guy. He's gay, which is good now. It plays in this day and age. You know, he went to Afghanistan or whatever and pretended to kill people when he's really just hiding in an intelligence bunker probably. I don't know for sure, but I mean, you know,

but we do. We probably, you know, this guy wasn't out there like Animal Mother and Full Metal Jacket. And so the point is... Clobetcher. I mean, she ended up charming me with just the mania of her. I mean, there was one point in one of the last debates when they were asking about guns. And like, you know, gun control and, you know, they're trying to pin Bernie on being like a gun guy because, I mean, he's from Vermont.

Those people like guns. And, you know, I'm sure over the years he, you know, had to, you pick your priorities. And, you know, those people, they don't want you taking away their assault, right? or even they're like hunting rifle. So he didn't make it a big deal and he probably voted for some gun stuff and he had to defend himself. I actually have a D-minus from the NRA.

You know, whatever, dude. It's fine. But Amy, her entire argument was that, you know, she's from, we should put someone in charge who's from the place where they have the guns and knows these people.

Because, almost quote, I'm probably getting a little bit wrong, but quote, I'm not going to hurt my uncle Dick in the Deer Blind, which is amazing. It's an amazing. I'm not going to hurt my Uncle Dick and the Deer Blind. I mean, if it's not orchestrated, she's a gem. And if it is, that's still great. Like, you understand, there's a lack of talent out there in politics.

It's really surprising. When you see the duds they put up here every four years on both sides, I mean, you look at Trump, and as much as he was an ascendant figure of this new zeitgeist, you know, kind of marshalling the and harnessing the discontent of the white working class who feel like they got left behind, all that. Yeah, it's all that's true. But also, they put a lot of real duds against him. Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz. Who's voting for these people? I mean, I don't understand why they can't seem to just have a decent supply of, like, fairly attractive people with decent families that can speak with some kind of energy.

I mean, who's, how did Ted Cruz even get into, I mean, I get Mitch McConnell because that guy's older, unless he's just, I mean, is Mitch McConnell older or does he have some disease? Is he 40? And he just looks like a, like, we use the word reptilian all the time. A lot of people have been saying Bloomberg's a reptilian. And, you know, and not, look, we don't mean it literally by anyone. But, I mean, unless you're David Ike and then, you know, you do. But, you know, but yeah, he, he, he, he, he fits the bill as far as, you know, yeah, he's just this, like, waspy.

Well, he's Jewish, I guess. But, you know, he's one of those waspish Jews, you know, who, like, he's Jewish. but like he's he has this kind of cold-blooded just kind of the same way you know these uh i mean much like george w bush it's kind of is like analytical uh but no charm no soul um and but mcconnell's like a fucking actual like like lizard like his eyes just set in and his cheeks i don't know um but like that guy I mean I'm assuming he's older and like he kind of got in under the

under the whatever before the deadline we had to be hot because even you know we talked about the whole Nixon thing but he's I don't know at some point it was okay to be a little more gross I mean the 70s

if you look at the movies and I like this I mean I think it's better I mean you watch a lot of these movies from the 70s and even 80s and people are just like more normal look they were a little more like no they weren't all hot i mean there's something just gross about everyone being hot it's just like it's just artificial doesn't feel like you're in a real world and uh but mccan i mean so the point is she's not that bad oh no i don't know why they can't get these people they can't get a supply of like decent looking you know like Kennedy wasn't

like that hot people talk about him like he was fucking george cluny he was like kind of a weird looking guy, but like basically attractive. And I guess, was he, did he have good game? I mean, Marilyn Monroe was fucking him and she was fucking his brother. They're both kind of weird looking. I wish Lucy was

here next to me. I could get her reed on this. But they seem they're held in esteem as being attractive guys. I think they're kind of weird looking. But they got power. So they're fucking Marilyn Monroe. And they end up, you know, poisoning her because she knew too much or some shit.

forcing pills down her throat. I mean, who know? Maybe they were drug in number four, too. The point is, though, is that they just can't get... Like, Obama shouldn't be the unicorn that he was. I mean, forget the fact that he's black. And that was, you know, as far as, like, you know, for the Democratic Party and being diverse,

it was, you know, a big asset. I mean, the time he thought it could be a liability. I mean, everyone was saying that, you know, America might not be ready. Whatever. But he was... Attractive guy, great speaker, all this shit. Like, but that shouldn't be.

that hard. Like, you can't just go to, like, not quite, like, fail, like, you know, completely destitute, destitute actors, but, like, what about Jason Priestley? Like, from 902.10, right? Because Luke Perry is dead. Because I'd say Luke Perry. But Jason, Jason Priestley's probably better. He's a little more, I mean, they're both pretty attractive guys. But I think Luke Perry was a little more, you know, teen bop cover of the magazine, slick. like, you know, Jason Priestley was a little more where, like, as he went, when he became, I mean, what's he look like now? I can, you know, 45. I mean, what's he look like?

I could look at it up, but I won't. I'm sure he looks great. I think I saw him in something like 10 years ago. I mean, you can't get that guy? That guy can read lines. I mean, you can't get, you can't teach that guy to talk about, you know, the need for a stable health care system or whatever. Like, these people, like, what does Joe Biden? saying what is bloomberg saying i mean yeah bernie's got his whole fucking thing going on but he's he's not wire but i mean most these people aren't like talking policy like they're not wonks

i mean they have like people coaching them and they have people ramming stuff down their throats but like they're not like particularly good in their field we watch them on debates they're not like experts or any of this they're like they know the broad strokes and uh they'll say they're experts because like oh we wear to work on this bill but they have their own people like they have this staff in the Senate and even as Congress people who like act and who work with the lobbyists usually and in the worst case well in the normal case in the best case maybe you got like guys like barney frank and uh dod who was dodd's first name dodd frank but you know like i'm sure they know a bit they know enough to get angry about the banking system but i don't think they're writing all the

fucking they're not writing the goddamn like laws they have like the staff for that and they They know they keep abreast of it, but like, you know, Jason Priestley could pull this off. He could be this guy. And you have a plethora of that. I mean, Kevin Sorbo, is he American? I don't know. Why not Kevin Sorbo? I think the guy who played Hercules on a TV show, I think he'd be great.

If Robert Donnie Jr. hadn't have had that great comeback with the MCU, the Marvel movies, and I was playing Iron Man, he would have been a great guy. I mean, someone like that. But there's guys like that who have, I mean, Mickey Rourke. And he might be a little bit, you know, much. But get Jason Schwartzman. I mean, Jason Schwartzman. I loved Rushmore. I love Slackers.

I mean, bored to death was a great show. But, you know, lately, once you been, I'm sure he'll pop up in West Anderson movies. And like a few. But, like, what are his days like? I met him once. He was in a band Phantom Planet. Again, they're not set in the world on fire. I like the first album.

Now when I go back, it's not for me. as much. They had a California song. California. It was nice. It was fun. It was the early 2000s. Point is, get Jason Schwartzman to run for Congress and then eventually president. Like, get some people in the goddamn system. Why are we like, but, you know, we have what we have at the moment. And Clobert's her, just a maniac. And then I loved her. I wouldn't have voted for her for president. But I might have. I wouldn't admit to it, probably. but my chief vice president phenomenal i mean if if biden ends up winning and picks clobberchar's VP that'll be a lot of fun because you got a brain dead guy on the top and just a pretty

aggressive uh if we believe these stories um just bat-shick crazy midwestern woman just i mean if she's the one running the shot like if we just parallel it to the georgia Bush administration, and she's the Cheney. I mean, that's phenomenal. I mean, that would be amazing. I mean, what is Klobuchar going to invade? I mean, is she going to orchestrate the invasion of, like, Australia? You know, just, like, start massaring kangaroos.

I mean, I think she might. I mean, she... What even happens in the Midwest? What are these people, like, are these people kind of like Russians? You think they'd be, like, Russian. I mean, it's not as cold as Russia, but it's pretty cold, right? People talk about the Midwest is all focused. But Russia is cold, and it's not foxy.

Those people are hard. They're hard, brutal people, and I don't really, I guess it gets colder. I mean, Siberia, I'm sure it's parts of Russia as similar to North Dakota. Is that part of the Midwest? I think it is, right? Or is that considered north? I don't even know what the, I don't know anything about geography. I assume, but she has that kind of all shucks, Fargo-We kind of vibe.

not as hard as Fargo, but like, hey, my uncle dick in the dick blind, whatever the fuck. So, uh, she might, maybe she'll invade Russia, but not, you know, just because she wants to, like, you know, go skiing more. They ski in Russia? Again, I don't know. I mean, it doesn't seem, you don't hear a lot about skiing in Russia. It's a big wintry place. I'm sure they have mountains.

That's the problem. I mean, that's why they're so hard. I mean, it's cold as shit, but like, they don't even take advantage of, I mean, I'm saying that they probably do ski all the time. They're probably the best skiers in the world. And I'm just like, they don't ever ski. I don't know anything. I mean, I know they play hockey well.

They were great, I mean, the Soviet hockey team was one of the greatest sports teams probably in history. I mean, they were, you know, you know this. They've been plenty of movies about this. But, yeah, I mean, if not VP, I mean, Secretary of Defense, maybe. Because that's really what we want. But we want her just dropping the hammer around the world. She won't need nukes. I feel like she'll just threaten to like, we're going to bomb a, we're going to bomb your McDonald's.

We're going to bomb your Hardee's and your, and your car. But you know, they have Hardee's internationally? I mean, they'll probably have to, she'll probably say, we're going to bomb your Hardys and then, like, on TV to, like, you know, France or something. or like to Norway over some kind of weird tariff thing, which she shouldn't even be involved with. That's nothing to do with the defense.

But she'll just call impromptu press conferences and she'll start threatening to like bomb things that aren't even in their country. Well bomb your hearties and the generals will come to her. I say, man, Madam Secretary,

they don't have, we looked into it. We tried to do some reconnaissance and find some parties that we could bomb for you. They don't have it in Norway. They have McDonald's, would you like to do that? And then she'll throw a stapler at the general, but ultimately agree.

I mean, it would be great. Oh, my God, I'd love to. And she'll get something probably. Because, you know, she did the, from the establishment point of view, did the right thing. She fell in line. I believe on Super Tuesday. I think Buttigieg did on Sunday, on the Sunday, and I don't know, point is, by Super Tuesday,

she and Buttigieg had dropped out and endorsed Joe Biden, which, yeah, obviously picked this, you know, rotting. I mean, I used to love Joe Biden. I mean, I'm probably talking about this before, but I loved how he used to threaten the beat up Trump behind the, behind the school, behind the gym. I mean, I love the corn pop. If you haven't seen the corn pop video, just go YouTube Joe Biden corn pop it's amazing

it's just I mean I should do a patron episode where I just break it down like you know playing the thing and break because it's just there's too much to talk about but he's basically recounting

the story of how he worked at a pool when he was like 20 and some inner city and some black guy didn't you know he's describing it was a I mean I don't want to paraphrase but like almost racist

or definitely racist. I mean, but his black tough, this tough guy, a real street guy, wanted to like stab him because he wouldn't let him dive in the pool or some shit or he was running in the pool. I mean, he's describing like the sand lot and then, but then to say he's going to get stabbed

by this black gentleman who, so the mechanic at the pool or something or the maintenance guy gave him some chain to wrap around his hand. It's an insane story. And it should disqualify him from even being able to sign a contract. He should have, you know, he should be able to be declared unfit to, like, you know,

what's that term? But, you know, he should be institutionalized for telling this story. But it's just definitely disqualify being president. But, you know, apparently he's the best bet for the DNC because they hate Bernie. They just hate him. I mean, look, I'm not, I like Bernie a lot. I'm probably going to vote for him. But I'm openly skeptical about whether

that he can get it done. I think he's gotten integrity, will he get it done? I'm honestly surprised how afraid they are, because it doesn't seem to me like with the state of the Senate and McConnell, I mean, the shamelessness of how, like, you know, they won't even vote on Obama's

Supreme Court nominee until the election's over. They never vote on them. They waited until Trump. It's like, the stuff you think you can't get away, would they just do. So, like, I'd be surprised if Bernie got any of this done, but I guess he could, they want to snip this in the bud. And so they, you know, they're coalescing around the most frightening.

I mean, Reagan was old, and he was, had to, like, he probably had dementia earlier on than we think. But, you know, he killed, look, even his goddamn speech, his, like, leaving speech, is a, his goodbye speech in the Oval Office or whatever. You know, there's a city on the hill speech. beautiful. I'm sure he had prompters or whatever, but, look, the guy was an actor. Again, this is why Jason Priestley.

Why not? Because, you know, actors know how to fucking hit their, not just hit their marks, hit those notes. And, yeah, he didn't remember I ran contra supposedly, and he didn't believe AIDS was real. Or he just wanted gay people to die. But, you know,

he was able to speak. Biden can't even speak. He called, he, on Super Tuesday, because, look, you know, I'm sure most of you're paying attention, but if you haven't, he did really well on Super Tuesday, and he's the, he's got the momentum going forward. I mean, it's not a lock by any means, but it was a big night for him. And at the end of the night, he's on the stage and he's having his little celebration. And he introduces, this is my sister, he says, but it's his wife, which is, I mean, maybe, to be fair, maybe he just fucks his sister a lot too.

more than his wife. I mean, incest, I mean, is that hot? I'll be honest, if you, it piques my interest. It makes me want to learn more. I mean, you know, like, parent kid incest, terrible. Sibling incest

is probably also abusive. So I shouldn't say. I mean, you watch these porn videos and they're like, you know, they're just kind of around us, about the same age, and they're both horny, and they both want to fuck, basically. and one of them makes the first move. But, I mean, sibling incest is probably, like, you know, an older brother, diddling, you know,

might be allowed diddling to be a thing. Diddling, I mean, there wasn't a point of this, but, you know, raping, uh, and dittling, it's a wide divide there. I mean, it's a euphemism, I get it, but I mean, dittling is just,

it's like a, it's like a, it's just, it sounds like, I mean, probably started in the Midwest, uh, just sounds like that. Oh, you'd dettle them. Uh, it just seems, I mean, I don't need to use the word diddle in court, but it's just used too much. But the point is, you know, if he's not fucking a sister, then it's, you know, the guy's losing it. The guy's, you know, before our eyes.

I mean, and this is a guy who was sharp before. I mean, he was always problematic. People, you know, apparently he was pretty instrumental in Anita Hill hearing where with Clarence Thomas, the Supreme Court. where he supposedly put a pub on her diet coke, but I think he was also just sexually harassing this woman and secretary. And I think they were pretty rough on her. They were pretty unfair to her.

And they're say sexist and misogynist. And, you know, you could even argue, you know, like, you know, rape apologists. And also, you know, he's instrumental in the crime bill with the Clintons and all that. And, you know, which is, you know, put a lot of young black men in jail for not. No good reason. I mean, sure. Look, like anyone else, some of them are guilty of stuff. But a lot of black men who went to jail for, like, having pot, which is, I mean, look, that's the problem with this system. It's like, when you look at it, it's not supposed to make sense. It makes, like, the more you learn, the more you realize, like, it makes sense just not for,

like, if you assume that they're on your side. It makes sense when you remember that, like, oh, no, like the point of this is for them to make money and to, you know, martial power and to use you as a pawn and to, you know, fuck your kids and it just, you know, perpetuate a class and a way of life, which doesn't seem worth it honestly. I mean, I get ambition, too, because at the end of the day, the more freedom you have, the more you realize, like, when you're just working all the time, it's nice. Like, it's rough. I mean, but I've had times in my life where I was, like, working, you know, multiple jobs.

One was, like, I was doing the warehouse. I was working over, the graveyard shifted the potato bread warehouse. Like, you know, 12, midnight to 8, and going straight to a bar mitzvah and photographing that. Then there were Sweet 16. And look, these are, this is not, I don't know what you think of when you think of photography, but at least the way I did, it wasn't a casual thing.

It wasn't a, hey, I was walking around with a camera. I'm sweating, I'm running around, sweat my ass off. And then ended up, uh, so whatever. The point is, like, I had, it was a period, I worked a lot, and I didn't mind it. It was fun. I mean, not fun. It sucked. But, like, it's, it was way better than the times when I was, like, you know, on unemployment and just laying around and, like, waiting for an open mic to start. And I'm like, what do I do? And, like, and you keep planning to have things to do and you don't do them. And my point is that some of this might just be, you know, they're keeping busy. They're keeping busy by, you know, putting tons of minorities in jail. and poisoning the water and, you know, selling off the future environmental sustainability of the world for a short buck to keep busy. Because, I mean, look at what happened. Joe Biden left public office. And I'm not saying he was, you know, Jeb Bartlett. I mean, when he left the Obama administration, I'll address that in a second. But, you know, he wasn't Jeb Bartlett, I'll say it again.

But he was, he wasn't this rotted out carcass of a man that he is now. And I'm not trying to, you know, will I pick him over Trump? Yeah, sure. Will he beat Trump? Most people think, nah. I mean, I'm not one of these guys who, like, knows. I think most of these people aren't either. That's a problem.

All people are talking out of their ass who don't necessarily know election math is kind of complicated. A lot of these people running their mouth on Twitter lately. I don't know how tight on the mat they are. And like, but, you know, the reason I bring up Trump, I mean, was Jeff Bartley. He was the president, Martin Sheen played him on the West Wing. Probably the archetype for what they based Obama on when they planned them with the, you know, the CIA planned Obama. I mean, he's a real person. He's a good guy.

Killed a lot of people in, uh, was it Yemen, Yemen, Pakistan, you know, drone strikes. But I mean, you know, he's, he was following a guy who killed millions of people. I mean, we talk about Trump. and he does a lot of bad shit. Bad guy. Look, dishonest guy, a crook, plays on, you know, fear of immigrants. The detention centers, the Obama start them. They technically, you know, he ramped them up an extraordinary pace.

But Obama wasn't a good guy either. I mean, and he's following Georgia. Like, George W. Bush killed millions of people in the Iraq War for nothing. I mean, not for not. again, not for nothing, trillions of dollars and, you know, supposed to control of a region for a while and, you know, the maneuvering and the pipeline. There's a lot of reasons, but no reason.

I mean, they claim it was for, you know, weapons of mass destruction, but even then, like, who would believe that? I mean, we kind of like, why would you lie? I mean, you're going to have to, like, find them later. And they didn't even bother when they got into Iraq. Like, you know, they took the country, what, like, I think the whole thing took three weeks, but they basically took it much quicker.

But, like, the whole thing was, like, weeks long, the actual, you know, the actual invasion or whatever, like the military, the taking the shit. I mean, of course, holding it proved harder, but whatever, that's, that's life. They didn't even bother faking. They couldn't easily fake. Hey, we found some anthrax. Oh, see, we were right. They wanted you to know. They're like gangsters. So, yeah. The reality is, uh, so I vote for Biden against us. trying I don't think no look Trump was able to do some bad stuff

and he's like a mean-spirited guy if you like him I mean I don't know why I mean unless you're like a stock guy if you like him because he makes you money then okay I mean I'm not gonna I mean look you're probably in

in the same boat as a lot of the democratic establishment who you know they hate Trump on the surface, but they'd rather see Trump than Bernie, because Bernie, you know, Bernie's going to fuck with the money, or at least try. And, like, you know, they'd rather have Biden lose and have Trump because they're making, you know, like the tax cuts and whatever, these rich establishment guys are making money off that. I mean, they're, they're not donating that to charity. I mean, that would be a move. You know, Terry McAuliffe and all these, you know,

establishment hacks who, uh, he was ahead of the DNC and they have on, they try them out on CNN. along with other hacks and he's running down the Bernie supporter who is on the panel and it's just like you know did you donate the money you got the tax cut to some women's shelter? Why not do that? No, they'll keep the money.

They'll keep the money. Because that's the game. These people are not on your side. So the point is Biden's pretty rough. It's a pretty rough situation. And I don't know, but he did better than

people thought. He won South Carolina and pretty definitively on the Saturday before. But I think he was always projected to win, but he did really well. And like he had, look, he had some bad months. It's probably why they had, you know, these guys stay in as long as they did. Because like, I mean, the fact you had Buttigieg,

M. Warren, and Clobuchar and, I mean, some other guys who didn't even matter, but I mean, Bloomberg, you wonder if Bloomberg was there just to kind of be a lightning rod to protect Biden. I mean, I don't know if anyone thought Bloomberg was going the distance. Like I said before, he's kind of a, you know, lizard-y kind of just,

not charming at all. Like, basically Warren's just hammering on. I mean, I'm not usually, I'm not a fan of Warren, but she did, you know, good job hammering Bloomberg. And he's just, his response to like, because he has like tons of like NDAs, non-disclosure agreements from these women who worked for him, I guess. who accuse him of sexual harassment

and Warren's just hammering and you're going to release these NDAs are you going to like you know lift these NDAs and let these women speak and he's just his whole response is like oh I don't think I want to I wouldn't break the trust of these women these women sign these documents

and of course they want to keep it quiet which of course is not how an NDA typically works typically you get money in exchange for signing the NDA or in the condition of signing the NDA saying all right, we'll pay you, but you can't talk about it.

I don't know that anyone's ever requested an NDA. I mean, I'm sure plenty of victims don't want to go, you know, broadcasting the story of being assaulted or harassed or raped. That being said, you know, I don't think it was ever at the behest of any. My point, it's a laughable thing. And that was his entire, but that wasn't just like a glib comeback and then he had a substantive response. like the guy just wasn't even trying so you gotta wonder if he was there

just to kind of absorb some of the ire and like some of the attention away from because he could just like otherwise be pointing at Biden going look at his ear like brain matter is just falling out of his ear it's in black sludge and he's just incantating

he's just you know repeating Latin phrases while the mic's not on should we do something? Can we help this man? But Bloomberg was there so they focused on that and that might have been the point. And to a lesser extent, you know, Buttigieg and Clobertcher, I mean, I wonder, because apparently

Obama made some calls on I guess Sunday, after South Carolina to kind of, hey, hey, Amy, hey, hey, Clobetcher, you crazy, you crazy monster. I love you, I love you, baby. Can you drop out for my friend Biden?

And she did, because, you know, she's not going to do anything. They're doing this if they're not being coordinated. They're doing it to get some kind of cabinet position. So when Obama, who still, I mean, it's funny because, like, you know, the progressive, the debates kind of feel like a lot of people are shitting on Obama, but he's still royalty in that contact. He still got the juice. I mean, what was it, Kerry in 2004?

Because the Gore didn't want Clinton, you know, Bill Clinton campaigning for him in 2000. probably a dumb move in hindsight because of the Holowinski thing and the impeachment and he thought he didn't want to be tired by it probably would have been better if he did but I believe by 04

you know once he left office they were kind of coronated like Bill Clinton because you know the economy took a shit and the 9-11 happened they were just in Iraq war so people look very fondly on the Clintons

and at least Bill I mean Hillary was also doing stuff in the Senate she was she was having her her fucking heyday. That's probably, you know, so they definitely, you know, I believe, you know, Kerry tapped them and they helped him

and it was night. And like, and they were seen as like, I think Bill Clinton gave a, like the keynote speech, Obama gave a speech in 04. I forget if it was like, you know, which night it was. But Clinton did another one. It was also a moving speech supposedly.

But that was like Obama's coming out, not gay, but you know, just coming out is a national level guy. I get some great speech. People loved it. Point is, Obama is that guy now. Like, yeah,

you might, you know, in four years, you might be different. You know, people might start talking more about drone strikes more. I doubt it.

I mean, I don't think Obama rape people. So that's a plus. And if he did, it, I mean, that's a thing.

I assume all politicians have done stuff like that, like, you know, here and there. but like with Bill Clinton it kind of feels like but they hide it right just people in their life

they're typically privileged people on some level a lot of them are CIA assets or just have connections to the agency or to business which is almost the same thing you know these are people who have friends and their friends have friends and their family has friends and they make sure go away

and I feel like Clinton did too I mean he had CIA connections probably because they're flying that you know the cocaine they were, you know, shoving into the crack into the inner city that was coming in throughout Arkansas with Gary Webb and stuff, you know, like, looking at that if you don't know, but, you know, basically he's involved in that shit. So I'm sure he had people. That's how many people that, like, that like all these cases still come out. Like, that's what bubbled over the

top. Uh, so, you know, point is, uh, Obama, I'm not saying he's clean, uh, but he didn't rape so many people at least that it like became a thing where like you couldn't even you couldn't even contain it um so they called you know clobachar and buddajaj and they basically said hey you know take a step take a you know what they call that when you when they swap the pitcher out i don't know take a knee does not take a knee is it it's something and uh they're endorsing Biden I mean the Bernie guys are depressed I mean all these Bernie people are depressed about it I mean it's kind of shocking to me that

how grim they are about it because like they're not even famous I've seen on Twitter all the time and like they look is everyone a rabid maniac who supports Bernie? Of course not. I mean, you know, I support Bernie.

I mean, not as vocally as these people but you know, and you know, Lucy you know, canvases, formage, whatever. I mean, I got nothing against the act of supporting Bernie. But a lot of these people are just, you know, dicks who, uh, it seems to be like the style that's been adopted by like a large chunk, at least the most vocal and the most retweeted people. Uh, yeah, I'm not following,

you know, every leftist out there. I'm not, you know, so I'm not seeing like, you know, your cousin Jan who, uh, is, it may just makes doilies about Bernie, you know, we'll tee, the coasters that say vote for Bernie, please. I'm not seeing that. I'm seeing all these, you know, straight up Lenin. and Stalinists who are, you know, podcasting and tweeting and just fucking,

I mean, supposedly because they're comedians, but they've given them, I mean, all they talk about is, you know, wanting to, you know, put people in front of a firing squad

for not, you know, supporting the, the Leninist agenda. I mean, like, really, there is a lot of this out of them. I'm not even being, like, hyperbolic. I mean,

uh, and like, even though people who aren't quite that crazy are just like, it's the M.O. to be like, their style is typically, well, we're sick of the system, we're sick of the endless cycle of neoliberal Democrats and centrist Democrats. I get nothing progressive done. So we're not going to be polite

about it. And look, I get the notion that you don't want to be polite and you shouldn't have to be polite, but this is politics. But I mean, that's the thing. So these people are all just depressed. And It seems like this has been pitched as like a political revolution. As like, you know, I mean, they like to brand it that way. This is like the people are rising up. They're not going to accept it. And like, yeah, Biden did well. Bernie still got a path of victory.

Yeah, like, fucking Biden's got the momentum because like he was doing so shitty for like a long time. And Bernie was kind of feeling like the frontrunner. And now they're, I think delegate-wise, pretty even. And there's plenty of stuff to go on. like where did the fight go is this how revolution start this is how civil rights went like you know did martin luther king just say i have a dream that we'll march on washington and if they don't change anything we'll just give up we'll just go back home it's like this is how fucking women got the right to vote they just like they asked like they they had won they took a straw poll and

if it didn't if they lost they were just said fuck it we'll just no you know people fight over generations you want universal health care you know i still understand like i'm not saying that like bernie it's not a worse situation but don't don't don't fucking don't lead with that don't do the job of your enemy for them like what is that what kind of move is that what kind of what kind of spirit is that i mean these people are just like i mean again it's not me sitting there going like oh you're you're a bunch of cucks or anything it's just like i mean a lot of you are probably problem a lot of people like to put on this fucking patina of like resolvish revolution socialist revolution but you know they're not really um it wouldn't be admirable anyway you don't really want

a bunch of people threatening to guillotine you but uh it's fun it's just like antifa for a lot of these guys is fun i'm sure they mean well some of them some of them i'm sure don't um but whatever but the point is it's a lot of it's easy to do that it's it's hard to do the slow work over time to, you know, like, just kind of make small gains and really build a coalition over, you know, not years. I mean, like, and if you look at it now, even if they lose, you know, you've got a system, you're putting roots down of this socialist movement. It's like, yeah, you can become the establishment. Just stay with it. But these people are just like, it's so sad. And it's just, it's like, don't lead with this. Like, yeah, it's grim, but don't talk about it. Like, it's like if you want them to a girl, you want to fuck a girl, and you're like,

hey, some hot girl at a bar, you're like, you know, and you're like, maybe don't have a shot. But, like, you don't tell her, like, hey, I know I'm a real fat turd, but, uh, and I don't, I don't really fuck much. I mean, I'm not a virgin, but, uh, I haven't had sex that many times. Um, I jerk off a lot, but, you know, so I, my dick does get hard, because I know that because when I masturbate, it's hard, but, uh, you're really pretty. No, this is not how you do it. You got to fucking just act like you've been there.

Act like you don't fucking, I don't understand the lack of fight. I mean, just, and like you just say, well, we fight, we can lick our wounds for a day. No, you can't lick your wounds for a day. No, that's bad. The optics are bad. The optics matter. After Trump, people were crying in the streets. we were meeting Timor at that

that live gathered event on public access and people are just crying in the studio and it's just like baffling it's like and like yeah that sickens people and like I'm not trying to tell you

like because we'll talk about in a second about how like what politics it is like the game of it and like perceptions and stuff and like it doesn't do you any like there's a war

and a lot of this is personality base Like what you choose to do, a lot of it is just based on, like, I mean, so psychologists have studied this. Which, I mean, they could be wrong. I mean, I hate when people, look, we've studied this. What do I know? But, like, point is, it seems viable. It seems like, you know, there's a certain truth to it. People are inherently, like, you know, more prone to be compassionate and, like, you know, take care of people.

And they're, you know, they lean, you know, left. And the people who are more, like, you know, aggressive and more, like, you know, get shit done and make money. and more ambitious, you know, they lean right. It's just like the way, it's kind of the way we're programmed. And you need both people. You need both sides. You need, it can't all just be people, you know, feeling bad for each other and like hugging each other and like, you know, making each other potluck.

You need some people driving the economy, you know, especially if you're going to have social, if you're going to have a huge social safety net, you need people who are like, you know, don't take shit and just fucking make a ton of money and you tax them if that's your plan. Like this would, if it works, if Bernie's thing works, which I don't know if it got passed and then it costs $30 trillion,

but it's offset by taxing all these billionaires. I mean, you could, you could argue that they're fucking, they're a rich kids, they didn't earn their money. A lot of them have ambition and they make money. And they, look, money's fake in a lot of ways.

And the ways they make money, it might be fake, That's your only choice for tax, you know, to get his health care, is to tax them. Like, what happens if they stop being billionaire? They stop being a billion. You need these people. And you need these people to be kind of on board. And so it doesn't do any good to be crying in the street.

Because that's going to, like, make a person like that. As much as you get sickened by hearing Trump talk and being, like, you know, dog whistly racist, sometimes actually racist, often actually racist, whatever. Like, there's many, many things which you're entitled to. be offended by Trump doing and saying. As much as that sickens you, people are sickened by the type of reactions they see. I mean, because they'll say, look, Trump's, you know, and I've seen, I see, you could say it's not legitimate, that doesn't matter, because they get a vote.

They get the vote, you know, and so it doesn't matter if it's legitimate. And there's certain legitimacy to it. It's definitely, you know, they, they don't really like Trump to hate it, but they can't get behind, I mean, a lot of its identity. They can't identify with people who are just crying over this. You can argue, oh, you know, this affects me. I mean, yeah, look, the most vulnerable people, though, are the ones I see crying.

A lot of it's just, you know, privileged white women and privileged, you know, and also men, these Brooklyn kids, these rich kids, these fucking, it's not the people who are like really, like, they're mad and they're upset. But the ones you see, like, telegraph crying are always these kind of like people who are not really on the front lines of getting screwed over by this. And you could say, oh, we're being empathetic. We'll stop because it's hurting the cause. Because, you know, it's not, I don't know, it's not attracting anyone.

It's not helping anything. And it makes people just kind of repulsed by it. Like, you know, and should they be? It doesn't matter. Because that's the thing. That's the problem with Bernie. And then, like, look, he still very well could win. and I like the guy.

He doesn't have like a Steve Bannon type who, yeah, let's say he's evil, but like a guy who understands strategy and tactics. And like Bannon was a little bit of a crazy man, a very smart guy, but kind of a, like, but there's also like, you know, the whole position of like an architect of an election, right? Like the Carvels, the James Carvels and the, I guess Paul Bagala, the George Stephanopoulos is, the tacticians. Like, I never got into politics. I remember that.

I never interested in doing it. I always felt it was like a cheap, just like, the same reason I don't want to be like, you know, work as a Fortune 500 company. It just feels weirdly evil. Or, you know, I guess it's the best thing. It's just an evil thing to do to be part of politics.

And again, like, there's no alternative. So maybe I'm wrong. But the point is, those are people who thrive. But the people who, like, are able to, analyze this stuff on a really like the math of it is very complicated and the

the people who were like really good at this I used to have a lot of respect I still have respect for them but like I mean I said a lot of awe for them because like they're keeping so many balls in the air and like when you hear them talk there's all these permutations I mean if you go listen to like

there's a great book 100 Thompson wrote Fear and Loathing on the campaign trail 72, about the Nixon-McGovern election. And there's two different chapters about the conventions. And the one about the Democratic Convention is, which might be pretty pertinent in this scenario if we get to contest the convention. But it's Thompson talking to, I think, Frank Winner,

that's the CIA guy. Whoever the fucking, I think it was the main, you know, McGovern's like main guy. And it's just like it's really just like intense, long diatribe about like, well, in the first battle of, this happens and we moved to, you know, these people. I can't recount it all because it's all very minutia and, like, and it's enthralling. And it was probably an ad war where they read it.

So it was just a little more enthralling. And I was like, this is crazy. And it's like, you know, it's just all these different, like, you know, well, this happens, this happens, that happens, that happens. We do this. We do this. Like chess games going on. And that's what politics, because, like, at the end of the day, because that's the thing.

These Bernie people, they seem to be under the impression that, like, politics is a what people need. And that's how you win, which has never really been true. Americans have never really voted in their own interest or acted in their own interest. Many of us, many, many, many, many of us are fat. Many, many, many of us smoke and we actively, you know, go swimming cancer pools. We don't take care of ourselves. We don't look at the future. We don't, you know, we don't care about global warming, but we don't. You know, like, we're not acting in our self-interest, ever. Most of what we do is driven by

like our ids or whatever. I mean, like, you know, people laughed at Freud. I don't know if they laugh. But I was growing up, there seemed to be this kind of, at least in the media I consumed. I know a goodwill hunting. There was like a, he should have on Freud a little bit because of cocaine.

And I don't know, maybe, but I feel like there's other references around where like I had the perception as a young, like a younger, like a teenager. Like, oh, Freud was like the early psychologist, but like it was all debunked. And, like, now they do more modern stuff. But then you get older, like, as I did. And you learn that, like, all this stuff, like,

oh, everyone wants to fuck their mother and his edible complex shit. And, like, you know, all this stuff about, like, a cigar, there's a cigar. What's this represent? And, like, you think it's all over dreams. You think it's all horseshit. And you realize that, like,

his nephew, Edward Bernays, who, you know, many of you are probably familiar with. Edward Bernays is the, basically the father of the public relations industry. He was Freud's nephew, and basically he took Freud's all his research and his theories. He went to America, and he started the public relations industry. And it worked really well at mind-controlling people. I mean, he wrote a book called Propaganda, which I don't even know if it was a less, you know, bad word or a loaded word at the time.

It's just called propaganda. I think even then it was a little, like, edgy. Like, yeah, I might be going to call it like, you know, you would think they'd call it something like, oh, reaching consent. amongst consumers. Propaganda. How to fuck people. And it's like, you know, but it works. These things all work. We're driven by these, like, fucking impulses, these is,

these whatever. I'm an expert on Freud. You know, I know a little bit. I read some Carl Young, too. Or whatever. The point is. But this is like, we're not as sophisticated as people like to pretend. And this stuff works. And the Bernie, like, right with the Bernie people, is they just tend to

it just feels like they respond to Everything with like, because people will give them shit about being too mean, which, look, is that like a bitch move to like, you know, complain about? Sure. Like, you know, I'm not going to sit there and like, you know, because Jan, you know, Jan the Warren supporter got offended because Bernie's, you know, being too loud. No, fuck damn. But like, maybe don't respond to her. And like, don't respond to everything. And don't be so vocal. This is common. Like, you know, we're all growing. I mean. I mean, some of you were younger to me, but I believe it seemed to be common sense that, you know, the, you wouldn't, you wouldn't talk shit. This is business, too. You don't talk shit about your competitor.

It doesn't look good. I never agreed with that, per se. I never, like, so I get the instinct to, like, ignore that. Because I was always like, why not? I mean, I'd respond to someone shit on their competitor, but people don't. I guess I'm not one of the people. So I, but I know that. I know, like, my tastes are weird, and that's ateric, and, like, I like, I mean, I like

things that are boring in my new show. I'm telling you about this, 100th Thompson's great, but I'm telling you about this fucking chapter and all my, it's just so fucking boring, man, it's detail, it's like, it's not sexy, it's not fun, and that's why I like, I like Michael Clayton, I like, uh, I like, a weird, I like, I like, I like, weird shit, uh, but I know most people don't, and I'm a weird outlier, and, like, you shouldn't lead, with what I want. I don't know who these masked people are, per se,

who are, like, who are the ones who, like, you know, treat with kit gloves and do all the stuff that, like, policy, like, tactical wonks in campaigns did before. I still do. But they're there. I mean, it's self-evident. And, uh, that's, I mean, look, Bernie is authentic and he comes off that way. And I think most people, look, some people, like I said,

like, you're complaining about he's too loud and it's like, fuck off. Uh, it reminds me of my abusive dad, like, you're being a pig. Stop it. Uh, but people, like, yeah, not everyone's on Twitter, but when they, is even more of the point. Because a lot of people, like, the people who are on Twitter aren't, like, most people aren't usually on it. So when they do log on, they see these, like, it's very, it's very smug and a surrog and, like, it's just easy thing. I know enough to, I know some of these people, like from comedy or whatever. I know they're like, you know, they're not dumb, but they're kind I know they're not, like, they're acting like they're fucking researching this stuff

and like they have data and I know they don't, they're talking out of their ass and they make this shit up and like the way they dismiss things and the way they just kind of like shit on me. It's just not, is it the reason? No. But the point is it's reflective of you need a certain level of, you just got to sell it better. You got to sell the whole thing better. It's like, and you may not get it this time, but the idea that like, oh, we're just going like, you know, virtue our way too. I don't mean virtue signal in this case, but like we're right, so therefore people should agree with it.

What we've got to do is explain to them. We're giving them health care. And the people are dumb. Some people would argue they're too dumb to be governed. Do I agree? I try not to, but sometimes it's hard to not agree with that because they'll vote against their interest every time. I remember, I mean, it's just, it's a, it's.

It's a skill. Politics is a skill. And I don't know. There's a lot of math involved. And these people are just like depressed. They're just losing their minds about, you know, the fact that like Biden's got some momentum. I mean, you know he's going to fucking like blow it probably. I mean, not blow the election per se. But I mean, there's a good chance he's going to say some real dumb shit that's going to catch fire. Like, lean on that. Like, I mean. Plan for that. Like, and don't, you could just, you don't have to, like, tweet. Like, not everyone, not everyone's been an army of tweeters tweeting, like, this guy sucks, that guy sucks. It's like, do it more, like, under the table. What are you doing? Like, stop giving the game away. Because, like, it's not people who like them, they don't need that.

And, like, no one's ever turned, like, no one's convinced when you, like, excuse me. no one's convinced by anything really people aren't usually convinced i don't know how much uh of any of this like discourse changes anything so most of what you're doing is just telegraphing annoyances to people and just pissing them off and making them and like should they be grown-ups about it and like oh should warn supporters like you know go i mean look i i watch some fucking 80 on Twitter yesterday going like people just assume warrants to drop out now and

but you know and they're saying we should endorse you know Bernie but like they're doing nothing to lobby us and to convince us he's the right like I don't know how much more information you need like I don't know what you want

won't be lobbied this is the problem everyone is the indulgent everyone's indulgent they're self-indulgent like yeah and like in that case yeah they're war everyone's awful

but the other side's awful too but they have the establishment behind them they have the CIA who kill people and spread lies and everything you think of they have the media they have business backing these candles

oh you know they do it too doesn't matter because they have like their media is not going to amplify it and your Twitter account's not reaching everyone So, again, I like Joe Biden. I think he's a nice guy. But, you know, so I'm not going to sweat that much if he gets elected and then just starts, you know, like, what was the first thing he would do?

He'd probably just start masturbate. That seems cliche. He might start, like, cutting himself. He might become, like, a cutter and sort of, like, you know, and start, like, a. becoming a punk, like a punk 13-year-old girl, like, you know, and just, who knows? I mean, he might, he might, uh, he might become a Republican. I mean, the guy's a maniac. I mean, it's a real crap shoot.

But, you know, it's fun. Look, there's, if we get them, we get them. But as they also, like, stop losing. Bernie's probably not getting much, like, and like, people are making this case, but it's like, as an active case. But the problem is, like, I'm not. saying that. Like, people are trying to pitch that. It's like, look, vote for them because he's probably not going to get it done anyway. I'm not saying that. But what I'm saying is, like,

you people are losing their minds about the situation. It's like, reality is, until you get more people in Congress and the Senate and you, like, start, like, really changing the whole texture of the, of the voting public more, it's, you know, so they'll put pressure on, like, their districts, you know, congressional representatives and shit. The reality is, you know, like the odds of him getting, you know, this Medicare shit passed and everything. Not great. So what did you?

What will we lose? You know, you lose the first fight. You know? It's fucking, uh, I don't know. These people just don't have to motivate each other. I would just fucking start quoting her Brooks.

It's just because it's a great. I mean, this is what I would say these fucking Bernie kids. If I was actually on the campaign, I'd be, I'd just come out and be like, because you're actually going to win. like it's everyone else's job to like declare you dead like why are you guys doing it to each other

I mentioned the Soviet hockey team before it was a great Herb Brooks was the coach It's a miracle on ice you know the fucking They've been a movie miracle about it Or the documentary in HBO Do you believe in miracles? Great both great Herb Brooks in the movie was played by fucking Kurt Russell

But the scene wasn't in the movie They beat the Soviets And the Soviets were like this military team in the Olympics but they were basically members of the military it's why they were able to be amateurs but you know

they guys were like 40 or so or like 35 you're all like you know big jack guys in their prime like fighting kind of you know and they're from Russia in the Soviet Union

so they have like you know elite hockey players it's like basketball in America it's like fucking so you know they were a juggerna and for years

they won I mean I forget how many you know Olympics in a row they won but long story short her Brooks organized his team and they're all

college kids. And they beat the Russians eventually. And the thing, but there's a part, you know, they beat and that's the big chunk of it is that. But then there's a part in the documentary to go, everyone forgets, they had to play

Finland afterwards. And they lost Finland, they wouldn't get not only got a goal, they wouldn't get anything. And there's the whole thing in the Soviet game where like right before the game Brooks goes into the locker room. and tells them

you know, he's just giving a speech about, you know, it's like, I'm paraphr, but, oh, this is your time.

It's not their time. It's your time. You weren't this. You know, some of the, all this is like really like, you know, powerful,

like, you know, sports movie shit. But, you know, according to the players, is what he said. And they got them all amped up.

It was nice. It was, and they, and they beat this, you know, they were huge underdog as they won. When it came to the next game, they did it.

They beat the Russians. No one, They beat the Soviets. They don't know if they play Finland now. So now, they might not even get gold if they lose this game. So he just goes in the locker room right before the game. And this time he walks in, he goes, if you lose this game, you'll take it to your fucking grave. Then he stopped.

He walked a couple steps, stopped, turned around, you fucking grave. That's what these people need. I need someone like that. Thank you, guys so much. much. This has been great. I want to plug a few things. March 12th, 13th, and 14th, three days in a row. I will be Tim Dillon is headlining Carolines, the great Tim Dillon. I will be joining him for all five shows. At the end of the show, we're going to do like a mini podcast, a lot, mini live podcast after each show. So definitely, I mean, Tim, you know, his stand-up is amazing.

And this will be a lot, and the podcast is going to be great. You know, you guys know what's going on. But definitely, definitely go to that if you're in New York or near New York. It's in L.A. now. So it's not, you're not going to be seeing him, you know, locally, you know, you might be used to seeing him at the stand all the time or wherever. But, you know, this is, you know, he's in L.A. most of the time. And his headlines, he's got a fucking weekends, he's got a tour going on.

And he's both the whole year. I mean, most weekends. So, like, he's not, he's not going to be popping in at the local clubs in New York as much as the, you know, so this is, this is a shot to see, you know, this is it for the probably this year. So definitely, you know, get tickets. It's selling out quick. March 12, 13, 14, go to Carolines.com or go to timdilloncomedy.com. We're also doing a, I'm going to L.A. with, for a live podcast. podcast as part of the Netflix is a joke

festival. Netflix has started a comedy festival and let me see what this is how I get to tag things? How I get to a tagged thing? Let's go to Tim's page. It's a May something let's see. I think it's on my Twitter but basically you don't want to go to that too. It's going to be part of the Netflix is your comedy. We're doing a live podcast. What the and let's see

I'm tagged in this he just gave him the date so if you're in LA it's going to be it's a Roosevelt Hotel in Los Angeles on Saturday, May 2nd, 10 p.m. Pre-sale tickets available on March 3rd so that should be now

10 a.m. Pacific time follow Netflix Netflix is a joke.com for those so check those out. also the Patreon for Kump is active the first episode went out Monday so get it on this this is going to be this is great we have two tiers of the $5 tier gets you the weekly extra episode it also a $20 tier I forget if I named it or not it'll call it the Kump dump but basically that's going to be you get that plus we do

another episode once a month I believe plus it would be you know this is all you can see If you're watching the video on YouTube or whatever, you can see, you know, things are evolving. I mean, you know, there's been a big difference between this week and last week on the video, I think. So, well, it is. I mean, I'm not going to be too humble. I mean, it looks a lot better. I mean, last week was fine, but this is better. It looks better.

So my point is I'm ramping shit up. We're making condom. I'm putting videos on there. All sorts. I mean, I got to say, again, just much like Joe Biden, I got to stay busy unless I lose my brain. So definitely go to that Patreon. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Ray Kump. Listen to Our Love is Disgusting, the podcast I do with Lucy Steiner, which is a hilarious podcast recording in the same studio.

And that comes out every Sunday. The Kump Saturday. Our Love is Disgusting Sunday. And Monday is the Patreon Kump. So you can have a whole, you can have us in your, me and Lucy and your life. life and different variations. I mean, we can even do, I could basically, you know, objects, whatever these people on Onlyfans do.

I'm not going to do sex stuff per se. But yeah, I can give you, I'm not going to give you my panties, but maybe I'll sell people my socks or something, if you need to be connected to the Kump universe. So definitely check all that out. And, yeah, just, you know, subscribe to this on YouTube. all sorts even if you usually listen to the podcast

subscribe on YouTube you know please and go on iTunes subscribe there and like do all this stuff matters it costs you nothing it costs you nothing

and it gives me everything I'll be in a guillotine in the year if I can't get this going those Bernie bros will attack it will just eviscerate me so I need your help

so just yeah little things you know Patreon I appreciate it but if not just just rate and review or subscribe or just keep listening. Yeah, I'm not really, I'm not that greedy. If you just keep listening, that's, that's, it's still great.

So, uh, thanks so much. I will see you. If you're, uh, on the Patreon, I'll see you, uh, in a couple days. If not, I'll see you next week. No. No. No. No.

No. The