Kump - 42 - Vice President Kump

Episode Date: August 9, 2020

Ray talks about stealing from the garbage,  WAP, Woodworking, Hoarders, and makes the case for being picked as Joe Biden's running mate.

Hello and welcome to comp. It's a lot of chaos going on. We could talk about a lot of stuff. I found something in the garbage. And look, I live in Brooklyn, New York City. You walk around and you'll see all sorts of opportunities to take things from the trash. It's not that uncommon. You might see a nice, you know, pasta pot along with a copy of the Communist Manifesto.

You might see, you know, a wonderful futon and also, some kind of hate parade paraphernalia. You might just see, you know, a yoga mat. And it's nice, and these things are, you know, but I resist taking them, not to hate paraphernalia. I mean, I don't need to resist. But the yoga mat, I would, I wouldn't mind stretching. I wouldn't mind, you know, having a nice big pot for pasta right now when I make pasta.

I'm probably going to be back on keto soon. But, I mean, that's not irrelevant. The point is when I make pasta, I have a small pot. it's like a two and a half quart if you're a cook if you're a chef you might know what i'm saying and when you put you have to basically like take this boil the water take the spaghetti and kind of use the lid from the pot to mash this it's like let it boil for a second and so it gets a little soft and then you mash it down you tamp it down um and it does it work to an extent i mean it definitely just chunks of the spaghetti that are hard um that you have to kind of chew

If I was running a restaurant, I wouldn't, you know, be serving it this way. But, you know, I'm willing to put up with a little bit of, you know, I'm a rugged individual in a lot of ways. You know, I can take this comfort. You know, maybe not like a Navy SEAL or an Army Ranger. I'm about saying I eat bugs and, you know, have rash all the time. I mean, I get rashes, but I mean, I don't think, it's one thing I wonder about these guys who go on these marches. Like, don't you get rad? They do.

You hear about that, not in the movies. They don't mention that in Zero Dark 30. You know, where these, or Navy SEALs with Charlie Sheen. I don't think they mentioned the swamp ass and the, just the degree to which they're, you know, they're itchy and they're sore and it hurts. And you get abrasions and you get these fucking little, like, you know, mildew when you're in your, I'm just saying, like, you know, I'll never say soldiers aren't tough. you know, I question, you know, who they choose to kill when. Hey, look, you got an order. I get it.

But I'm just saying, but, you know, you have my utmost respect for the rashes. That's something I can relate to. I've never had to make a choice between killing a person or not. So I can't relate. I'm not going to judge you. I'll judge you. But I'm not going to, I'll let a degree of, you know. But I could vouch for how bad those rashes are.

So, you know, you have my kudos there. If nothing else. But yeah, so the point is, it's, I can put up with these things. I can have crunchy pasta. I can have, you know, it's just undercooked. It's fine, but I would like a big pot. I would, you know, when I see one, I'm like, oh, I want to take it. But, you know, it's just, I guess if you boil it, you know, it should be fine, you know.

I mean, if you really, if this was like, you know, a post-apocalypse, which isn't that far off, probably um i will adjust and i will be more willing to take things from the garbage full stop and just you know like i was playing that last of us too uh that came out i don't know if you're video game people like i spend too much stuff but you know it's a game where you spend a lot time foraging things the only things you find are alcohol scissors a couple other things and you assemble things from them um i wish you would find just more trash like here's a piece of trash and then you just eat it you get sick that's be my video game like just like different kind you know finding different combinations of trash you can eat um and how to prepare trash

but i i i will do that i will fucking uh get on board with um you know scavenging um throughout the wasteland that used to be society i'm not i have no problem with that i'm not above it But, you know, I live at a certain level of society where I don't have to, and I feel like it would, I'm just trying to be a better, I mean, this is something, it's not because I'm so much better off. It's just because I'm trying to be a better person. I live with Lucy. I try not to, like, you know, just forage garbage in front of her. Am I denying my true self for her? I guess you could argue that.

I guess you could argue that I, because I'm not just, you know, eating, uh, off of, you know, let's just say a platter that I found next to a dead, you know, a dead child. That's sad. That's a sad story. But, you know what I mean? That could be, like, the problem is you find all sorts of things. You find dead raccoon for sure. Dead rats.

I'm just saying, like, yeah, I'm trying to not just take, I used to take things all the time. I remember being with a friend. We went into, like, woodworking at the time years ago. And I just, you know, was driving past, uh, You know, suburban development on the way to his house, we're going to do some woodworking. And I spotted a nice treasure. And I'm like, I got to get this.

This is going to be so, he's going to be so pleased with me. He was more experienced. He was more, you know, the more woodworking expert of the two of us. He's going to be so fucking amped. This is going to be the greatest thing ever. I'm going to get such accolades. And I, you know, I take this garbage wood from the side of the street. and I shove into my car, which is full of actual garbage,

you know, just fast food wrappers and, I mean, anyone from that error who knows when I was driving, my car was just literally a dump. And I don't know, I mean, it's a psychological thing, probably. Is it a form of depression? I don't know. I can't vouch for, you know, why I'm willing to put up with, you know,

degrees of trash around me. But, yeah, but it is not important. The point is, I get the wood. I bring it to his house. And he's just laughing at me because it's particle board. I'm like, what the hell? I don't know what you're saying? You're being a snob.

So what if it's a particle board? We could use it for the bottom of a box. You know, you're like, no, you don't understand. I'm like, why are you being such a, you know, oh, everything's got to be, we got to go home depot, and we got to fucking act like kings. And we got, you know, we got to be these great, you know, classy men who go like contractors to the lows and we and we shove our fucking uh you know

tool belts around like we're strutton i'm like where where you keep your router bits honey and then just fucking you know just acting like peacocking you know peacocking in the home depot just fucking is he's too loyal and just slobs you think they're the hot shit just fucking you know drinking coffee and then the foyer of a home depot just pontificating about different drill bits and and reciprocating saw blades like i've got a healthy and the healthy is the top notch but you know i also like the delalt and say no i mean i don't want to be that i'm i'm a low-key guy i want to cut wood but i don't want to be you know when these you go to long island you go get an egg sandwich these guys who's just like yeah you know

there's more torque in the boss drill okay all right i mean you're not better than me but that's not the point after a long tirade such as that he's like you're an idiot you're just a fat dumb animal you don't understand what particle board it's not plywood even it's just particle board it's just they make dust they take dust wood dust and they glue it together it's like this they shred the wood into this like you know just literally dust and they mold it almost and it's glued and it's bound together by glue and if you try to cut it it it just falls apart there's no there's no basis you know There's no grain to the wood So I would, you know

This is a story about how I was a trash idiot And I was just very willing to just go through the trash I'm trying to be better But we found Look, we've been talking for a while About wanting to upgrade our kitchen With a nice metal type rack Somewhere we're going to put our pots in our pans

And we found one You know, look, this is Could we find one if we were looking for it? I guess we're both procrastinators I'm not going to get into that point is he doesn't need a shoe rack and uh lo and behold the other day lucy was going out to you know play tennis against a wall which is you know the state of our lives i sit around stewing in my own fat while she plays tennis against a wall everything's fine everything's normal we're just happy we're very

happy so she goes text to me he goes hey there's these you know uh can we use some of this stuff and it's well and behold a metal rack for our kitchen and what really isn't a shoe rack but with it a nice tall um you know shelf uh type thing and like we could you yeah we could we could we could use this this is something we could get into and so i go down there put my mask on i go and i like snatch these things and bring them back and now we just have we have them in our kitchen we have the shoes i mean honestly we're using as a shoe rack it looks like we're living in a shoe store now. It was literally like a display. We have two shoes on, you know, a pair of shoes on each shelf. It's kind of bizarre. I'm wondering if I'm, this seems almost like, you know,

when you go, when you talk about something on your phone, you talk about, I remember there was this thing where it was like, a guy at the bodega by my work. Hey, you want this? And he hands me a Stella Archoa, um, chalice or whatever you call, you know, beer, those beer, beer glasses, but it's not the normal one it's like the curvy one and I'm like yeah why not because I'm you know a bum I'll take it and then like literally I didn't even like talk about it and post about it and half an hour later I see an ad on my Facebook that with that same goddamn cup I don't know what that means I'm sure you've we've all encountered stuff like that I mean this is one's bizarre because I don't even talk about it but so what are they looking at so is this the next level are they leaving garbage for me? Is this the future? Is Amazon somehow, or Apple, because I do have an iPhone at the moment, so maybe it's Apple. Maybe Amazon's got the app on my phone. Who knows? Everyone's got their tentacles in. It could be Uber for some reason. Are they leaving garbage for me to find?

What would be the end game? I don't know. I talk about this is a lot that, you know, with a lot of these companies, it's all just a stock scam. That, you know, Uber has never made a profit, as far as I know. they make tremendous losses billions of dollars maybe hundreds of billions that might be a little much but it's a lot it's a tremendous amount of money they lose every year um it could be hundreds of billions that could be crazy it could be moron but it's so a lot no whatever what and uh other companies are like that too and you go what what's the gimmick here what's you know companies have been around for a long time like you know uh well don't get into specific things point is they're doing it just to get the stock price up they want to get to an IPO they want to get to the point where they can just like the owners of the company who are supposedly because they value these companies these companies are valued by I guess investment banks or um things of that nature and then like they'll get a yeah what happens I guess when you get a new investment a new investor comes on and you go well this is what we think your company's worth so we're going to buy just many shares and we're going to assume this value and that's

that becomes your new value effectively. And so your stock price, whatever your worth, is determined by that. And so they're just kind of, like, they're basically just trying to get the value up so that when they make an IPO, they can just take the money and run. I'm not saying everyone does that. I guess Zuckerberg still has Facebook shares. I mean, I don't know why you would. Why do you want to keep?

Why is this? I deactivated by Facebook finally. I just didn't like the idea. I never used it. It's, you know, it's been a waste line for years, and I'm never on it. And I noticed people, like, I went on to check one thing recently. I swear people were liking stuff from the past. And there's nothing on there.

I'm like, but I just don't like the idea of, like, I don't remember what's on there. It's stuff from years ago when I was first trying to stand up comedy. Who does this? It's just, I mean, there's a perverseness to, like, your past just being out there. it's just out for the you know some joke it's not even like about offending people but just like how corny you might be

how you know someone sent a picture of me and a hat I don't even know it must be on a dating site maybe it was on my Facebook but they were like posting it somewhere picture of me and my hat and was like what is this I mean it was like an old newsy hat

and it was a it's fine I look good in the picture honestly but the point is like i don't like my past creeping that's that's something we have to worry about is our but the point is why would someone be giving me garbage why would someone be i don't know this is this is the life we're you know kind of heading into a customized i'm part of some fucking plant maybe they're bugging me maybe this is their way why they need to bug me they already have the phone in here that's a good point you watch those mafia things like oh we have to get the bug in the restaurant and everyone's got a fucking phone is just you have convinced some corrupt

judge to like you know stop sitting kids to federal prison for nothing for a moment just so you can like hey can you turn this moff give me a warrant to turn this mafia you guys phone on in our office and we can watch them jerk off i don't know i mean is there mafia even around anymore i'm sure it is but like what are they doing i'd love i wonder if i could get into the italian i'm not italian whatsoever were they such to the point where it's like yeah you can bullet chin i mean i could be an yet. I mean, I couldn't be a made man. But maybe I could. I wonder if I could make enough money. They must have

made some. I mean, is it really the case that the Italian mob has never made a non-Italian and a made man? They have to. You watch all these docs and they only care about his money. They admit it. They don't even like try to hide it. It's like, yeah, it's honor. It was the end of the day. It's like, you know, who's an

earner, who earns? And, you know, part of the gimmick was, you know, I think keeping in the Italians was you know, like, keeping from going to jail the coast of no the umerter um is it um omerter it sounds like an omelet omerta but that's over i mean like no one doesn't route anymore so like why don't just let me be a made man i don't want to just be called a made man sounds nice um but anyway so i don't know if there if i'm if i'm just trying to justify why i'm bringing garbage into my apartment

but it's not it's working nice it looks like we have a nice little sneaker uh presentation um it's not important it's just something it's been vexing me um it's a bit it's a big week for entertainment uh i don't know if you've seen this new with a cardy is it cardy being someone else the wap wap w is wop video very sexy uh lucy came up to me and uh show you've seen this new carty b video i guess it was the day came out like no is it is it's like it's very sexy and I was intrigued Yeah, because as you get older It's just, you know

It's like, you know This is just, we're in the middle of a pandemic I'm not wearing nice suits around the house So maybe this is like, you know I mean, look, I'm not, I'm not sitting here going like, I hope I get sex Like this is not, I'm not being the fucking sitcom Husband, I'm just saying like

But you know, in the moment You're like, oh yeah, how sexy is it? Let's watch it together And yeah, it's a very, it's sexual It's very, just ass and dancing, and, um, it's very aggressive. It's very, like, it's just women, something about how squishy their pussies are. I guess it stands for a wet-ass pussy. I got a moral objection to it. It's just, it seems, I've always been a little confused about why sex is so cool.

because you think about what we as a society tend to like consider like you know a guy who's fucking you know I mean used to it used to be that guy who like put up a lot like you know the the rugged I mean I guess John Wayne was considered an archetype but I've always thought he was a big phony but you know just like a guy who like Clint East

with a gruff rough and tumble guy who puts up with, you know, an army guy who can live in the dirt for six months at a time, you know, some guy who doesn't care, just some guy who, like, you know, when you look at the hero cycle or whatever from Joseph Campbell, there's a hero with a thousand faces, you go through adversity, right, and sacrifice, and then that's who we think is cool. So I've never understood why something that, like, feels good is cool. like, hey, I like to feel good. I like to shove my prick

inside a wet, squishy pussy, and shake it around until I fucking orgasm, and it's, it's, it's a nice feeling. It seems so bizarre. It's also drug culture, too. It's very tight in. Like, we feel good.

Hey, I feel good right now. And it's like, why, when did that become the standard for, you know, for cool? So, yeah, oh, like, it's like, why is, why am I? not a hero for overeating spam mixed with cheese, which is not

even that good. If you ever cook spam and you mix it with, you know, mozzarella cheese, it's pretty gross. But like, it satiates some weird thing in me. Whatever. It doesn't matter why. Maybe you have anxiety. Maybe you're

Howard Hughes in the aviator and you're scrubbing your hands 50 times a day. But it feels good to him. But it's, you know, but it's portraying. as, you know, who is this OCD psychopath? Who's, you know, become a shut-in? You know, we watch hoarders. We're not, like, promoting, you know,

this guy likes to have a dead cat under a stack of, you know, newspapers that are covered in mold and chotchkes that he fished out of the garbage, much like I did with the shoe rack. You know, this is a stage one hoarder, I guess, whatever, it feels good. But why is it only when you're putting your prick in a squishy or whatever? I mean, you know, if you're a lesbian, um, eating each other's put, you know, whatever, if you're not, you know, if you're, if you're pansexual, uh, non-bine, I don't, whatever. I mean, whatever makes you feel good. Why is that, it seems a good odd thing to be, like, to unify society around. Like, I got a weapon, like, that's fine. It's just, uh, I get more power to you. And these people who are, like, promoting, uh, anti, you know, or anti it because, you know, it's like damaging kids. I mean, it's not damaging kids. It's not damaging.

who gives a shit it's just uh that's the other thing it's christian it's like it should just be a thing you do it's like it should be eating you know you ever eat a fucking cadbury egg it's all right it's good like the old ones my friend got you know a batch of the old ones from england because they've distorted them you the catberry egg is not what it used to be they like small it's smaller as the cream's not as good but i got the old ones and they're delicious they're tasty and but like there's a level to where it stops i mean you know it's just like look, I fucked for an hour before. Don't get me wrong.

I'm not somebody who doesn't know how to fuck. I've had sex. It's not coming from places like, I can't have sex or why is it cool. I get sex. I have sex. I mean, I don't get it. I'm not some creep.

Are you, can I get some sex? It should be. Maybe sex should be that, though. It should be the same way you'd go to that where Howard Johnsons and go, can I get a stack of flapjacks and a half dozen eggs just like cracked

and then not even cooked just cover. bring the flab jacks can i get that maybe sex should be probably who's going to give it to you sex robots and you know and strange animals in the future but the point is uh so i don't understood the whole um the pop culture aspect of but it's cool it's very sexy very visceral very um just aggressive and i like it i i like women being aggressive about sex is cool um i don't know why i just you know like, I'm going to fucking sit on this dick and then you're going to fucking lose your mind.

I mean, I've been to strippers before and it's like, you know, they bite my nipple and it's like, nice. I was expecting that. Sometimes unexpected things are nice. I mean, but we seem to reject that in most of society, though. It's only unsuspected, unexpected sex. If a homeless man, you know, unfortunate individual, I mean, is that stigmatizing the common?

I mean, he is a homeless man. But not all homeless men would be the, there are certain people, who might come up to you and throw their piss of you. And, you know, they might even be homeless, but whatever. I'm just saying there are people out there. And if he does it to you, no one ever seems to think, well, that was unexpected, but kind of nice. It's a new experience.

Because not everything that sex feels good, even. I mean, it should on some level. But, like, when people, people like getting hit, I don't love it. I'm not against the, you know, Trump. I'm always willing to try, you know, you know in a proper context if someone wants to hit me with a bat

I'm willing to be open to that but why am I not willing to be covered in piss by a guy who just you approaches me excuse me people think that's fake I'm seeing people on Twitter by the way I saw it just not the

like everyone on Twitter was like normalize this normalize that I think they're clever And someone's like normalize, not, you know, letting straight cis men sneeze the way they sneeze. Like, wait, why would I fake that? I mean, I don't know if the mic picked up how, but it can be very loud. And developed over time. My dad sneezed like that. And, uh, yeah, I used to be like, what's he doing?

And then, like, you know, I just starts, I mean, I don't know what it is. Is it my body? Is it my nose? Am I doing it subconsciously to get attention? Maybe I am. Maybe I am subconsciously just trying to get attention. to get attention by sneezing just so I can get some girl who knows me. Even though I'm very happy with Lucy, but I'm going to go out into the world and I just

start sneezing for just a taste of, you know, that kind of attention to see if I still got it to see if I still have a, you know, I can pull. Can I pull by like, get, you know, hey there, I sneeze like a man. And then all of a sudden she's giving me a number. She's asking me to fuck. And it's great. I mean, that's what they envision. guess it's not the case maybe some people do uh maybe it's subconscious but the point is uh what was the point what were we talking about i don't remember what i was saying before he sneezed this is a problem with you know this stream of uh conscious you know but it's fine sex oh yeah the homeless man wants to throw piss at me um you know more power to you

I mean, the problem is everyone's worried about diseases And can you get diseases from piss? I don't think so I think if a guy on the street throws his piss at you Um It's probably safe I don't think you're going to catch anything from it

Shit's a little more complicated Um So whatever point to, you know But we're only open to, you know If you lose all your money You're just like, oh, this is the worst thing Maybe it's a new experience If

Um You know, the government decided to start throwing you into the back of a truck to test you for coronavirus against your will with an anal thermometer. Maybe it's a new experience. If we start, you know, illegalizing reading, whatever, you know,

if they want to set up some kind of weird situation where I'm indoctrinated into a new cult, you know, as they go fight China. We start a war with China. It's a new experience, you know. But only sexual things. or positive. I mean, not everyone.

I mean, again, I guess the alternative of this is just, you know, people get assaulted. So, yeah, it's not great. I guess, I guess my theory doesn't really work out because I'm just talking about assault. But many people aren't cool with that. I guess, I guess there's a myth, though, is to, like, you know, one time a woman kissed me on the street and I liked it. She was drunk. I don't know. I'm just rambling now.

Uh, a Democratic convention coming up. That's a, uh, it's a big deal. It's an exciting time. Um, we have some notable, uh, people left out, I guess you'd say. Um, people are mad at AOC won't be a part of it. The bubbly war, you know, the face of the new Democratic Party AOC. I mean, look, there's a very polarizing face. figure let's not you know do i think the green new deal makes sense not at all um is a you need

that counterbalance yeah i mean you need someone standing up the court even if it makes no sense to stand you know we're living you know we're heading into a oligopoly pretty fast but whatever but you know it seems to me odd that we're going to have a convention how is it going to be all going to be zoom we're always going to be sitting around on our computers or maybe our TV just watching a bunch of people do like Zoom speeches with like two a guy to a guy with a guy with a boom mic and the camera guy and that's it and it's just like this is all very much um leaning in leaning into the worst uh aspects of our of our current state of affairs like you could you couldn't play more into the dystopian theme theme of 2020

to have a Zoom convention. It just strikes me as such a depressing... I mean, they're going to have the Clintons there, and people are very upset. I mean, I guess you're innocent and proven guilty if you're the Clintons, or until proven guilt, whatever, you get what I mean. They've been incredibly accused,

or at least Bill has, of, you know, sexually assaulting minors with Epstein's plane. I mean, he's also been charged with... You know, we're accused of many rapes or assaults. I mean, some rapes, some inappropriate things. But they're leaning in because, I mean, look, they don't know. They have a guy who can't get through a sentence with Joe Biden. So it can be fun to watch.

It's depressing. You hope that his brain's intact. We joke that he's just as dementia. Hopefully he's like me and just as, you know, he'll just, he speaks in weird fragments. I feel like I get through sentences better than him, though. I have these asides and I have these detours and I mumble But I feel like I still make more sense in him when he talks a lot of the time I used to like the guy

The guy used to be sharp Maybe I shouldn't have liked him in hindsight And realize all the crazy shit he was doing to You know minorities and women But you know He was a Democrat who was aggressive And it seemed fun Like Anthony Wiener before he had his downfall

He was a guy yelling Or the guy Bob Bennett you know he had a famous speech with uh he was yelling at the what's his name the weird Ted Cruz this is malarkey or something was crazy okay it was go look up uh that guy that speech i love to show you a clip but maybe next time um but the point you know he used to be you know used to be fun um it's not fun anymore it's still kind of funny but in a in a dystopian way in a way of like oh these are because i mean look you i don't know how you can be on board with trump at the moment i mean i'm i don't want to get into a relitigating the entire conservative

versus liberal thing democrat versus republican it seems at this point though i think we there needs to be a baseline of society where we just agree to jump ship at a certain point like we don't know what's going on here but this is not working this is i mean this is i I mean, and it tends to happen. It tends to happen with the economy, with the, you know, the actual, you know, economic data. It tends to be a predictor. I don't know if that truism has been lessened because of just the peculiarities of our current situation. And also, like, the weirdness of how bad the opposition to Trump, you know, Biden's craziest choice.

But, I mean, usually people will talk a lot of shit, but at the end of the day, if the economy is bad, and his jobs are bad, you know, the incumbents fucked. And the Fed will do a lot. The Federal Reserve, you know, over time would tend to, you know, the president would come to them, I think, 18 months out and be like, hey, we want to, like, you know, it was a common thing to, like, you know, I think they would lower the interest rate

or, you know, whatever they, the mechanism they did, and it would, like, juice the economy. But these things take time. So they would do it 18 months out, and then they would juice the economy. It would trickle into the different sectors. And so you get a little bump around the time of the election. And, like, people are like, ah, things are doing, things are pretty good.

And it's just, it's a gimmick. And even though the Fed used to be more, you know, less in the pocket of the president, and it was always kind of understood. And it was kind of, and apparently, I mean, I remember watching this speech one time from this really obscure economist guy. He was saying that Bush won, you know, H.W. Bush didn't do that. It was inexplicable. It's kind of, you don't hear about, knowing that you hear about Ross Perrault,

and you hear about, you know, the recession and all this stuff, but, like, on the micro level, the possible, I mean, I can't 100% vouch for this theory, but it's interesting perspective because the idea that, like, no, that's how fragile your democracy is, that, like, he could have won if he just had the Fed lower the interest rate by a couple basis points or, you know, maybe a lot, whatever they do, whatever the mechanism is for, you know, making looser money into the economy. If he'd done that 18 months out, he would have probably won. That's how, I mean, we've always, that's the thing. It's so hard to deal with, like, people in that, because they're still going on, like, how can you be a conspiracy theorist? And it's like, look, I get QAnon's annoying, and it can be damaging. I mean, I get that, you know, this pandemic response by the people, you know, the masks are, you know, are killing them.

This is all some kind of conspiracy to get you to worship batham or whatever it is. Yeah, it's frustrating. You shouldn't have relegated all the most uncomfortable truths of our society to conspiracy theory then, to allow it to only be talked about by, quote-unquote, cooks

and people have no stake in society. I mean, there were plenty of journalists, I'm sure, over the years, you know, I mean, something from self-censor, and that gets worse and worse over time because of the repercussions that you place on them. but you know there should

you've allowed this to become a situation where the only people were talking about 9-11 are cooks and even Chomsky wouldn't touch it because he wouldn't want to be, you know, tainted by this so it really is you know you've made your own bed so now

you know you have to live in a situation where you know we can't even talk about the worst out you know this idea that like somehow how if I want to talk about, you know, like overthrow, how we overthrew Iran. I mean, I always use the same example. I should read more books.

I really am a blowhard. But once you get a whiff of how bad, you know, but the point is, you know, this is this, it's always been as bad. People talk about now about how anything is falling apart. And reality is, like, it's always been kind of fickle. It's always been, um, it's very tenuous, like, where the financial sector really, in ways that you don't understand, controls, and dictates the flow of politics. But now, so who knows?

Maybe now with the way the Fed, I mean, the Fed can't even do, what can they do? Zero interest rate all the time now, or almost. I mean, who knows? You can keep track, but, you know, they don't even try to pretend like it's an independent organization anymore. So it's bad. It's really bad. But whatever, we're talking about the convention.

It's going to, what are they going to talk about? I mean, look, they don't have the wherewithal to do the right thing and just lie, the Democrats. I mean, again, I don't want to make it a pointed thing, but, you know, Trump likes to lie. You know, that's why you like him. That's why he's likable. I mean, you can't deny a certain likability. He's a huckster. Now, when you realize the, you know, human cost of it, all right, yeah.

But, like, you know, there's an immediate charm. So Biden needs to come. But they need to come out and just start lying and, like, saying, we got a vaccine. They were only going to give it to you if you vote for this rotted-brained, just, you know, ex-whatever he is, just like an ex-racist alpha dog who turned into, you know, who's brain-rodded. He's almost, you know, he, like, Biden's a cuck.

He's crazy. They need to juke him up with a little bit of, you know, not only we have a vaccine, but we got, we're going to give you some money. We're going to pay you, we're going to give you a subscription to Netflix if you, if you join the Democratic Party. We're going to give you a Disney Plus, not the version that has ESPN and Hulu, but you're going to be able to watch the Avengers if you vote for Joe Biden. We're going to give you a little bit of heroin. You like heroin?

We got, you know, we got friends in the Taliban. We'll give you some heroin. Do you like Marie Callender's macaroni and cheese? We'll give you a voucher for that. Just a lot. I mean, like, maybe you give them macaroni and cheese. But I don't know what you're appealing to. Oh, if you vote for Joe Biden, he'll handle this better.

All right, but it's already been a mishandle. I mean, no one's going to, I don't know that you could. Like, can you tell the governors now to just, you know, change? You think if Joe Biden gets in, he's going to, like, all these states that, like, aren't making people wearing masks? I mean, I don't know. Can you not make people, they're saying now that these mandates aren't enforceable? I don't even know. But, like, the point is, can you put it back in the bottle?

What are you saying? Look, I mean, the idea should be punished the other guy. Why don't ever say that? Look, I don't know what I could do. I'm an old man. I'm dying. but just stick it to him he's the one that put you here at least i'll die and then someone else will take my place and it's a crapshoot yes my brain is rotting but i'm probably going to die i promise

to kill myself in a year why not do that can a president do that can a president promise to kill himself a year into office if you brought that to the supreme court i don't know that you could like you know make a case that he that should bar him from the election it's a weird thing to do it's a i mean but he's outright putting it out there i mean there's a whole scandal on the west wing when the guy had ms and he didn't tell the american public and i don't even know if that was like you know you can impeach him for that i mean in this case biden would be in theory telling people i will shoot myself in the face one year from taking office and then you can get whoever the VP is would that be uh i don't know that that that's improper if you if you're giving the voters the information they need

to vote. I mean, that's, that's a real, that's a game changer. That's something you can get behind. And I don't want to make a lot of suicide or wish ill will on Joe Biden, but the idea of like, you know, it's kind of like in Breaking Bad when, you know, doesn't he like at the beginning think he's going to die, so he's just making, you know, I'll become a drug dealer. And I mean, it shows, you know, cartoonish, but it's fun. But, uh, yeah, why not just say, I'll shoot myself in or you know hang whatever you know i'll take pills you know people might not want to see the vice president shoot himself you know but whatever like take pills something they need to shake it up i mean joe biden's on his way out why not that would be memorable because you know you're going to be

remembered for just mishandling a you know a pandemic anyway i'm not saying what he should i'm saying what i would do if i was in his shoes i would just um you know i mean look there is no more CIA like, you know, taking people out anymore. We've seen them with Trump. I mean, like, you know, Kennedy, that seemed personal in hindsight. And I don't believe that Oswald acted alone,

but, you know, it definitely seems personal the attack on Kennedy. But there's no deep state that, like, is raining anything in anymore. We talked about it last week, but they're really, they seem to have shifted to just, like, eluding mentality in the government of just get it while you can.

Um, much the same way with, you know, with social media and YouTube and Twitter, get, get something while you can't get, you want to be a hit, a TikTok star, do it now, because doors are closing. You want to get on this, uh, Instagram reels. You better, you know, you better, uh, is that coming out now because TikTok closed? That's, I just realized that. Or not closed, you know, but there's this whole tension. Do they rush that out because, you know, hey, we want to be in a position to, uh, take the people from TikTok. If you haven't seen Instagram Reels, it's like this, basically a TikTok type thing on Instagram. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of differences.

I've seen people. I've never been on TikTok. I've never used it. I've logged in the account. I look at what people are doing. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to, there's something visible about me, I guess, the problem.

Like, you know, people aren't brought in by my, you know, my visuals and barely my voice either. It's really just, you know, I'm not even sure. It's chaos what brings them in here with me. But I can't just go dancing and shove up my ass in the air and then go, like, and while Cardi B is singing, wet pussy, wet pussy, wet pussy, pussy wet pussy, pussy wet pussy, I'll sell you dig, but only because I like it, which is good. It's empowering.

I'm all for it. But that would be, I should do a cover of WOP. Is it WOP or just WAP? Some Italian girl got mad because it's like, oh, yeah. And she was, actually, like, she wrote out the M word on, like, on Twitter. And it's like, idiot. It's not even, and people immediately. Like, no, like, she had, like, you know, like, I think they call it ratio.

We're, like, you know, like, six likes and, like, you know, 10,000 comments. And they're like, you're a moron. It's not even spelled the same. It's, like, WAP is without papers. It's an Italian. It's not even, like, the best derogatory thing against Italians. Like, who says Wop? It's just not even, like, I feel like it doesn't bite.

There's certain things you can say, which I won't say. Because, like, there's no. point in being overtly I mean it would just feel even though it's not as bad as you know I'm not going to equate it to the M word or anything like that but yeah I would feel aggressive

to start saying some of the more vivid anti-Italian defamation terms but WAP is I've always thought it was kind of a silly one it was like a one from the 50s but yeah but um so I don't think Cardi B

was going against the Italians that'd be a crazy thing too like if all the it'd be a weird move to just start being like hey you know what you know who has it too good in this country Italians I mean look

you can they be basically they're considered white like there's a whole theory I don't want to get into a can of worms here but like part of racist theory or whatever is like who's considered white and who gets assimilated into like you know quote unquote whiteness

and I think they argue it's Italians are like like, you know, considered white in that aspect. I'm not speaking out of turn here. But, you know, it'd be weird to isolate the Italians. It'd be weird to isolate the Irish, unless you're actually Irish. It's funny when Irish people go after Irish people

or Italians go after Italians, but, like, it'd be weird for Cardi B in the midst of all this social change going on and unrest and, you know, they're just going to, you know what? I don't want to talk about the cops. I don't want to talk about prison industrial complex or the carceral system. Is that what they call it?

It costs the real system. I don't want to talk about the school of the prison pipeline. I want to talk about Italians. I mean, it's a weird, it tells you where these people's heads are added, like they think they're being targeted. I think I'm being targeted for taking things out of the garbage, but that might be legitimate. But the idea that Italians would be, you know,

that happened a long time ago with Italian. You've gotten your, you know, you're not really in a position until I complain to it. I mean, do they even do that anymore? the defamation stuff they used to just like you know even if it's for at least the 90s were going on about it but uh whatever point is can i sing about having if i do i shouldn't do a cover right there probably be in this day and age probably not you know it's not for me to do i i don't have a pussy uh and b you know i shouldn't be um co-opting um you know black artists and you know where there's carty b black i don't know it's i'm i'm even

into it. There was someone, there was some debate about someone recently, but I don't know what was her. I think, whatever. The point is, I shouldn't do the cover, but it would be, it would be fun. It would be fun to, it's just a fun way to sing. I like sexy rap. It's aggressive. What else is going on? But I don't know where this convention is going to be. They're going to have Clinton, you're going to have Hillary Clinton speaking at the convention, just, uh, what hey you know i i i'm pretty sure i won last time but you know uh i'm not bitter about it i mean she's pretty she's openly she's one of those openly bitter losers in history of politics um she might have a good reason you could argue i mean i lecture electoral college wise she seemed to have you know clearly lost if you want to argue against the electoral college system sure i don't

mean i don't know voting is going to matter anymore um i think we're like unfortunately heading to situation where, you know, we're going to do the mail-in voting and Trump's complaining about how this whole mailing system is, uh, can be the most corrupting in history, most corrupt election in history, which, yeah, I mean, I don't know what the basis for that is. I mean, there's so much corruption in every election. I think they say the fraud level is not, you know, catastrophic when they talk about the voter ID stuff. But I mean, you know, we know for a fact that like Kennedy had the election stolen for him by, you know, Sam Gene, Congress. in Chicago and you look what happened in Florida in 2000 you look at you know and that you know

look the point is don't let it be close but everything's close now that's the you would think they like you know if they were running this if this was some kind of you know deep state really running both sides why would you set it up where you're constantly stealing elections and things are contested why is it so evenly split I mean I guess you can argue that like you know the people you know they don't have a complete control the people are going for you know

are going for but why you know you think about why the Republican Party you know states what it states you know I guess it goes back to the sudden strategy what they call you know with Nixon or even before him perhaps I think it was Nixon the idea that when like the Republican

party started appealing to like you know religious voters in the South and I guess like you know working class people because it was traditionally you know the party of capital I believe know, for the most part. I mean, small business is probably sure. But, you know, it wasn't seen as this rural thing. And I'm not, you know, I'm sure you guys know that.

So the point is like, but why, if it was organized that way? Why, you know, why is abortion mixed in with, you know, federal, you know, subsidies to, like, the corn industry? We're going to keep babies alive and we're going to give McDonald Grubber, whatever his defense contractor is, the right to. create this microwave that, you know, shoots, um, come at the enemy or whatever, you know, just, you know, we're going to pioneer ways to kill, but also, you know, keep this baby alive and they're not giving them anything. It's a, it's designed to draw you, you know, deeper into insanity almost. And what's the point? I mean, I, that's the thing. We're living in a, in a state where, like, even conspiracies don't mean anything. It don't matter anymore. They don't, they don't, uh, make any sense

anymore i mean like there's no endgame to any of them uh oh i mean the only thing you could say is you know once they have robots um to do their gardening i guess and to like working a chicken i mean how many jobs are even like they even need to i don't money's fake what was a bear can even produce anymore it's like we're all just moving things around it's just to keep us busy while they play around in march's vineyard and you know uh new port road island i mean there's nothing to do there's nothing left to do they're just having barbecues or garden parties i guess and they're just they know i'm sure they know they go why would you act this way i asked is a lot i talk to tim a lot about you know what is why would they play it the way they're playing it

we assume it's cynical we assume it's mine but why play it this way why not pretend at least to do it you know and like they just i mean you're for there's a photocopy effect where you're you're further away from, um, any sense of, you know, I guess just, you know, the children and the grandchildren, the great-grandchildren of motherfuckers, you know, guys like, you know, Carnegie and, uh, whatever, you know, Vanderbilt and Roosevelt, whoever these guys, why did Roosevelt's getting the power? What did they do? Were they bootleggers?

Were they just selling, uh, were they slave trader? I don't even know what the Roosevelt's did. How do they make their money? Who knows? How does some of these fucking people get into power? I don't know. Is the Hayre Roosevelt, like, franchised or rough riders to, like, be a sports team? Wait, what is he?

Nothing this matters anymore. I don't know if this episode is funny as it should be. It's depressing. People are going on to Trump for this interview with Axios. I don't know what Axios is. I mean, I guess they took over the news stuff on HBO, the news programming. I never heard of them. I mean, I think I heard the name.

I always thought they were like a, like a web, you know, make your website on Axios, and then all of a sudden they would give me news. But, yeah, I guess it's not what they were. But people giving shit to this guy. I don't know what you expected this guy to do. Be like, oh, he's a terrible interviewer because he's got, I mean, at a certain point, it's just, Trump's very willing to just, you know, play fast and loose, and the guy's calling him out.

What else can you do? There's no proof you can bring. There's no, like, smoking gun anymore. There's been a million smoking guns. We know, I mean, the guy is not giving you his tax. You think he's doing it on, like, no, I believe in the, in the right of privacy for, you know, businesses to not have to give their tax. No.

He could give his tax return. He doesn't. He could talk about, he fired people in response to, you know, the whole Russia thing. Now, was it overstated? Potentially. But the point is, you know, the way you act, the way you acted. It is what it is. I mean, again, this is not.

to re-litigate the Mueller investigation. The point is, you know, like, there is no more journalist, like, getting you. I mean, he's basically, uh, openly said, like, yeah, people are going to die, it's fine, he called a hoax before now. These things would have been political suicide years ago. They're not. There's no more, like, there is no version of that journalist

where he, like, you know, oh, you know, I caught you fucking your kids and, and, and drinking blood, you know, from a chalice that, uh, the goat king of whatever, whatever, say, no, they wouldn't matter, like people think if it's cool, they wouldn't care, they'd call it a deep fake, there is no more,

it's the people's fault, because you believe what you believe, on both sides, you take things at face value from these people, and then you're just stuck in your cubes. I mean, I don't know when centurists became, or just having a rational sense of detachment

became such an evil, thing. I don't know when it became that like, you know, worse than someone who you know, look, maybe you want to kill babies full stop. I'm not, you know, trying to say pro choice people, but like, maybe you're just a pro and like, you know, and that's fine.

And like maybe you, you know, really just love babies, like, whatever the thing is, whatever, maybe you just believe that, like, you know, some of the rhetoric. But you can't tell me that, like, you know, this just ticks all your boxes. So the idea, like, you know,

It's been on for years, and you know, you're, you know, I'm a, I'm a business owner who, you know, believes in the right to life, but also I make sludge that, like, you know, poisons, you know, is a Flint-based company, and we make, we make the sludge, uh, that goes into the Flint fracking, you know, the fracking is some of it, but we, we just add more because we figure it's already fucks and why not just make, you know, it's going to poison you. But I also believe in the right to do it's fine. And like, also, you know, it's like, I'm a Democrat, and I believe in, you know, giving people the right to come here, but also, you know, tax businesses to the point where they, you know, they can't compete and, you know, with large corporations and therefore they go out of business.

And it's like, you know, it's like, both sides have to... I think we can admit, well, whatever. I'm not getting into... You know, not everything has to be equal. Just because both sides are fucked doesn't mean they're always equal. It's everything in flux. But, um...

There is no smoking gun anymore. There's no more... um there's no more really really no more a sense of like what can we do nothing i mean vote him out trump for the sake of it but is that going to make it better i don't know probably not i mean you have a guy but he's just going going crazy now we're going to replace him with a guy who's also losing his mind so yeah i i again i repeat i feel like joe biden could be it's much like you know King Solomon, when they brought him the baby. And it said, you know, hey,

there's a dispute between these two mothers about whose baby is, uh, it belongs to. How did that even happen? There's a famous thing of King Solomon in the Bible where it's like, this woman's claiming it's her baby, and it was my baby, and I was like,

well, King Solomon's like, what the fuck can I do here? Oh, I'm, you know, this one's looking one way, and the other way, I'm like, what am I going to do? How was it even a plausible? Boy, that I guess she stole the baby, one of them? In the middle of the night, I mean, it seems bizarre, but whatever. It's accepted as a classic biblical tale, and King Solomon pulls out a sword and goes, all right, I got this handle.

This is fine. I'm just going to cut this baby in half. And the one mother goes, perfect, perfect. You truly are the king of kings, a great man, noble and wisdom. You excel in both. And the other one's like, no, I don't want, I love this baby. It's my baby. don't kill, do me favor, don't kill the baby, please, you know, leave it.

And you're the mother, because you wouldn't want the baby to die, even if you don't get it. It's, I mean, that's what Joe Biden could do with this whole, like, I will, I mean, look, and look, if you, if you're squeamish, we can, we can do a fake video where he pretends to do it, and he goes, you go, he can live in Ohio somewhere, and so I'm in Montana on some compound, you know, but you make the theater. It's a professional wrestling. I mean, honestly, what about that? What if you just made it? We all know you're not going to kill yourself. But, like, it's part of the theater. It's part of the K-Fab.

I always say K-Fab. I think it's K-Fave. I don't watch wrestling. But the point is, and, like, so, you know, why not just have that? Maybe things would be better if we just acknowledge they were fake.

And, like, you could get past the fact that you were lying. You get past the lies, you know, look, have the theater. It'll look good. But, you know, because, like, then you get past the, just, we all agree to circumvent the Constitution sometimes. Go, well, how, you know, he's still alive.

He'd have to, like, resign that would look back. No, no, he'll pretend, it'll be, like, a thing. He'll be, they'll get some CG, and he'll, like, he'll have, like, a, or maybe he'll, maybe he'll fake a death. He'll have a toaster, and he'll drop it in a pool of water and it'll fall into the pool or something, or fall into his bathtub. It's a comedy of errors, and, and, but he's still alive, he's happy. He's living like a clam in the middle of Montana.

but you know we all get to try out the new president who's whoever he hasn't picked yet because god knows why um you'll probably pick it soon for them i think to be a woman pick me she pick me i'm the one that's forward thinking here i'm the one of different ideas i think i'm of age i could be the president we should really get this going we should really figure out a way for me to you know to get in on this democracy scam because i feel like i could bring something to the table um Yeah, I mean, there's really not much hope. Just, yeah, look, just try to get a skill going.

Just try to learn to do woodworking and don't use particle board. Like I did, you know, but like learn to do that. Learn painting, learn plumbing. I mean, like, a lot of these things are trade schools, but you can probably, like, I'm sure the trade schools are, you know, they're good, but also, like, you can learn on your own and you go to trade school, get a certification, learn to be a, like, a, you know, some kind of, you know, only fans specialist a piss specialist a shit specialist um you know like a lot of girls

were out there because of the economic situation just you know showing their body that's fine I got on against it um but you know my point you're you're in order to compete you need to you know like this is this is what capitalism is people have a hatred for capitalism um and I'm all for safety net but the reality is if you fill niches niches you know you fill them I mean but a problem with a more controlled economy is that you know in the only fans world everyone's just going to be a hot girl um shoving stuff in their ass and you know do it hey daddy whatever the shit is uh with the suicide girls tattoos there's no one sitting there going like maybe someone wants a fat hoarder who will take objects from the hoarding pile uh old newspapers um

of piss and then use them sexually a dead cat um you never you're never going to get the state to do that you're ever going to have them mandate a certain amount of jobs for that fetish but capitalism allows for that it allows for the sub specialization of all sorts of industries so you know maybe someone who's hoard because without that they're just left to be to get their minimum you know basic income and then that hoarder person is, you know, they can't drive. But now, you know, that hoarder can, you know, get their life turned around because people want to shove them, you know, watch them shove newspapers inside themselves

and, you know, play with their, play with dead animals and all sorts of, I mean, I used to scream so loud watching horror. I would get so frustrated. It just drove me not, maybe because I realized, like, maybe I could become this. But it's just the way you can't, it's interesting, the pull the old, because that really is, Hoarders, the way I felt about, maybe that's why I don't get so crazy anymore about all of this, like, be detached.

Because I felt the way about hoarders, the way a lot of people feel about their opposing side, whether it's, you know, Liptards or, you know, Trump, Trump, is there a term for them? Magas? What people feel about magas and libtards? I felt about hoarders, all right? And I, just, the way they couldn't be reasoned with,

like, no, I need this Havel, this hobble, these precious moments figurines that I found in the gar. I need this collection of natural scientific magazines from 2009 and I need these pizza boxes I have sub-categorized. I need these Ziploc bags I found it's like they

and the level to which they can't be reasoned with drove me nuts and I would be there for my friends be watching and I would scream at top my lungs angry. Not trying to be like a showboat but I really would just kind of lose my mind how angry I would get at these people and there's nothing to be there's nothing to be done at a certain point they just clear out you know to clear your house out and then the person's not better the person doesn't see you

know they're going to fill up some other fucking place with you know more garbage and piss and dead cats and that's just how the story ends so uh there really isn't you know that's going to be america it's just going to be eventually they might clear it out uh i don't mean genocide but you know it's i mean who knows but i hope not but i mean more just like they'll figure some now but it ain't gonna be better it's not gonna we're rotten to the core but you can be better you can do whatever you got to do um you can get out there you can just be uh just make your own life uh don't get sick so it's been great this was a little more uh heady i don't know It was a fun time

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