Kump - 57 - Kumpsgiving w/ Tim Dillon

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

Ray is joined by the great Tim Dillon, and they discuss the decline of America's youth, the rise of America's steak prices, and finding love on the road.  Get your "I'm A Wine Princess, Bitch!" T Shirt, available for a limited time! https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Sign up at patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week!

Hello and welcome to Kump. As you can see, there is no video today. Don't complain to me because we have a very special guest that will make up for any of your misgivings. I want to give a warm Welcome to a man who is Right now stranded in a COVID wasteland He's spent Thanksgiving alone He can tell us what he's been doing

But I presume it's sitting in filth perhaps Eating, you know, scraps He's possibly lost a lot of weight Please give a warm welcome to Tim Dillon How great would it be if you had Roe and that's how you brought Joe Rogan on. Like he was in a COVID wasteland. I don't know what he's doing.

Give it up for Joe Rosen. Wouldn't it be great to just give him like that type of introduction? I mean, look, how is it over there? Introductions are one of the funniest things because there are people that are so bad at them. Right. That before you even start the interview, you're like, like I've been angry at people.

because it's so bad at the introduction. They don't know where they say something you did six years ago. This guy was a quiz. This guy, I saw him on Gotham comedy, Axis comedy on Gotham, whatever it was called. Yeah,

it's like, it's like, because then they always go, hey man, I'm such a big fan. Thanks so much for doing this. And then they go like this. They go,

this guy's a regular governor's comedy club in Long Island. I'm like, could you have done any research? This guy can be seen at a wild, wild heart tattoo shop. Yeah, right. Wild child. I just got, I just had a thing with the people that run that. Set up a Fleming's steakhouse.

Do you have Fleming's on the East Coast? You're acting like when you didn't grow up here, like, until a year ago. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what goes on over there anymore. I mean, I'm here now. I even left my house since you left New York. Well, anyway, remember they.

They do this to you know. You order steak, and they give you the plastic knife. I go, guys, guys, I said, I need, because I just lived into my house, I don't have utensils. I said, I need the real knife. I said, I'll pay you for it. And the woman's like, we can't do it. I'm like, it's thanks fucking giving. She goes, we can't do it.

Then I go, listen, Google me. I said, I speak to half a million people a week. I said, I speak to half a million people a week on a podcast. And I said, I'll say very good things about Fleming. I thought you finally pulled that card at Fleming's. I pulled a card and it worked. I got a knife for 12.50. And I'm like,

Oh, they charge you 1250? Oh, they charge me these pieces of shit and they refused to give me a fork. But I'm like, screaming and yelling. I got to pull rank for a fucking 1250. I'm like, I'm like, dude, but I'm not for ready. 12. I mean, look, they get them for cheaper. Well, look, they have decent knives.

But here's the deal. You go to a dollar store and they'll sell you like four steak knives for like three bucks. And you're, like, just give those away with take caffeine eat too. If I could, they'll cost you like a, 20 cents, you know? Listen, I know most people have utensils, but there's got to be a certain amount of people that for whatever reason you just don't have a steak knife. I don't, I don't have sick knives. I've been eating steak.

I'm off keto with the moment because of my teeth. I had a number of teeth issues recently, multiple teeth. That's why you're off keto for the season. No, honestly, it's like it's hard to eat. steak when you have like i've got a bridge on one side that like is what was i to take out every time i eat and the other side they had a poloot and so i'm waiting for it to heal before they can do anything there it's this big gap there and it's a root canal thing behind that so i can't chew on either side of the mount i was like the dentist was like chew on the other side but he knew i'm like

no i have that bridge you said you're going to try and fix oh yeah try a softer diet for a while yeah the dentist looked at you he's like well first things first just by observing you, I could tell you you're on keto, right? Okay. The diet for the fattest. Keto is the diet for the fattest people that I've ever met in my life,

myself included. It's the diet. If you're over 300 pounds, you're on keto, is it the easiest diet? No, doctor, doctor. Doctor, I'm allowed to eat this much mayonnaise. It's just part of the diet.

It's the easiest diet to sell the fat. fuck, it's basically like, listen, you're like creases, I've got to bust it on it. It's amazing because, like, yeah, look, all you got to do is not eat bread, but you can't use as much bacon, as much butter, as much fucking, whatever, steak. We still can't stick to it. You can't. And by the way, by the way,

try to explain, you know, to, like, anyone that's ever been healthy, but look at you like you have since 19 at, you're like, Like, by the way, I can't have any grains, but do you have any bacon? Because I'm going to make a bacon and mayonnaise smoothie. I mean, it's really crazy. But I got to get on a version of it because it's like, the Forbes do make you feel like. No, I feel awful right now.

I started drinking, basically told me he told me he going on a softer diet for a while. So I got right. So I really have a blender, it's a ninja blender, you know, decent quality. And so I started making smoothies for the first four days. But then I would just, you try to drinking smoothies for every meal, and you start getting blocked, not blocked up, but just full. It's like, it's like filling up a turduckin or something. Or like, what's that thing?

I'm like foie gras, you know? What kind of smoothies were you having? Well, I was taking, all right, I'll tell you what I was doing. All right. So I put frozen berries, banana, almond milk, oats. raw oats and what else protein powder and I mix it together

but you know I was making them too big and I was probably just drinking too much of it and too often and so I was just feeling very like just a full like because it's like it's like when someone's like putting glue inside of something you know what I mean

when you inject something with a liquid like a mold like it was basically like drinking smoothies is a fact guy I just basically putting an injection mold into yourself It's not good The smoothie was Before keto It was a smoothie

Like It's the classic It's the classic fat movement It's like Well My mother Used to like make milkshakes in a half

The powder The shit The smoothie was Before keto It was like Hey you like milk shakes What if you can drink Milkshakes

Colsey And Blue's way You go yeah Why not Right Yeah, it's just like it's Carnation Instant Breakfast But they call it a weight law shake

I mean, if anyone comes up and goes How about you do you eat like a human being We go, hey, fuck you, buddy Why don't you just be like A little rice, a little brown rice A little chicken, a little broccoli Hey, fuck you You don't understand

It's called ketosis It's a metabolic state Your body goes through a different metabolic You gotta piss on a strip You're pissing on a strip? yeah yeah it's keto's a diet where you got to just constantly keep pissing all over your hands yeah it's disgusting uh but uh but yeah so i i don't have a steak knife is the point um so when i over the summer and in the fall when i was doing keto and eating steaks every day in the air fryer

i was just like basically at the table with a chef's knife like a full like aian chef's knife and just cutting it up you know well yeah it works but it feels a little, you know, I feel like Hannibal Lecter, kind of. I just love when I have to fight for nothing. Like, this is my life. I fight and I fight and I fight for nothing. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm put through the ringer. I got to jump through the hooves. I got to brag about my fucking podcast so that I could get a $12 night. I love how like, A, they're not getting in a club. They're charging you for it. It's not like, did they comp you with dessert at least? not only do they not copy a dessert

they said they couldn't do the tuna tartar because it's raw and they couldn't do anything raw to go when I said I don't understand that they go well we just thought we did it's our policy doesn't make any sense

oh I get it I get it because look I do get it now as I think about it because like you could leave it in your trunk for like eight hours in the sun and then like try it and you go to eat it and you get sick Yeah, wouldn't that be my fault? Yeah, but you know

If I left to a tartar in the car in the car Overnight Well, everyone's afraid to get in sued Because they see these like Quote on quote, quote, frivolous lawsuits That the media's put out there I was like, oh, old woman I was going to start screaming

I have COVID I have COVID Just let me eat one more meal Let me eat one more goddamn meal My wife's died of COVID what kind of steak did you get a petite filet what is that exactly a petite filet

just a small filet mignon a petite filet that's not much you need more than that what are they bang you for that 50 bucks 50 bucks for the petite filet I've got crad cakes and lobster bits oh okay but still that seems like

the filet mignon like Wollinski's wasn't even 50 bucks was it or it was just that like this place they're all banging you they're all banging you now I mean the prices of steak they're like stupid like ribos are $112 for no reason what it's gone out of control

but the ones we used to get well let's get the Colorado ribo like just regular one like that those were like 57 I don't know what those have I haven't been there in a year but like any steakhouse now they're all just absurd like $100 used to mean a steak for two people. Yeah.

Now it means like one person. Yeah, like a full-on porterhouse or two was like a buck 20, like a high-end steakhouse, it was? That's crazy. This is, this is the point of COVID. It's to, it's to draw people into a situation where they have to like pay premium prices for like, you know. What is that?

You playing piano? I'm going to get so many people mad at me to the Kansas Owens episodes because I have fans on the trout and it's like I don't really challenge her because I just kind of giggle and shit at what she says like I also like I'm just not that kind of interview

I just don't give a shit you're not going to deepunk people really giveish I don't care that's the other thing it's like this whole idea that I gotta care like she's like you know

I said I said I said like I said hey it seems to it seems to make sense to people that like black people have had a harder time of it

America's the white people and she's like what do you mean and I just started laughing because I don't I start laughing I'm like what a way I mean I'm then I start going into like the redlining and that I'm like what about this and that and she starts

screaming all right listen this is the way she feels like you know this isn't a fucking this isn't like some great journalistic endeavor here you know I really two things a you're not going to convince her and the people would say

well you shouldn't be platforming her if you're going to agree with that you're going to find her like no one needs to platform her she's a huge star yeah it's like she's a massive star we get this

interesting stuff with her she's like you know we get her to admit that maybe we should decriminalize the drugs here how about we decriminalize the drugs you have a like a conversation I would have with somebody at lunch

Can you imagine if, like, one of your listeners, your diehard fans is listening? Here's your like, like, you know, whatever objection. Like, oh, don't you think they have heart? Here's her pitch and goes, you know, just fat fuck's wrong. She's on to something. Yeah. I mean, it's like, what am I supposed to say? Like, this is the problem with this shit.

No, it's ridiculous. I mean, look, she's a ridiculous part. Like, she's a ridiculous. She knows she's, like, she knows what we spent the whole, or all podcast talking. about people like her. Just like, it's old school grift. It's whatever,

the woman feels the way she feels. You know, whether it's, I'm not in her heart. I'm not in her head. Sure. So like whatever, why ever she feels that she feels,

the woman does seem to feel the way she feels. What do you want me to do? Right. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, she goes, she goes,

well, your argument is proven wrong because she goes, your attitude on abortion is based on, the generation you grew up in and I go yeah but my attitude that I think it's okay that you vote is also based on that

she goes yeah there's good things she goes yeah there's good so I'm like well I mean I mean you know it's not really made to go too deep but am I even trying to you know look she's it's this is not her fault

if people didn't buy it it's like it's capitalism at this point like this is not this is not like I mean it's different than like actual hate crime shit or whatever you want to call you know, like, Richard Spanthe, what are those guys? It's like, if people want to buy this, it's, it's, it's, it's, they're the, they're at fault. It's, you know, if she, if, if, if she's going to come in, like, there's legitimate marks is the point.

Yeah, I mean, I don't, I just, I thought it was a good episode. She's fun. I'm glad she came on, you know. No, she, look, she's a charismatic figure. There's a great sense of humor. It's kind of like, I don't know, folks, go, go find, go fun, like this people on my Instagram that are like I'll shoot this one out it's like well you go do that you do that that's okay I like how people try like trying to like take you down as if like anyone put you propped you up in the first place yeah it's like it's like yeah it's like yeah how about you sit

that one out you know how about you sit that one out if you don't you don't want to hear what you got to say you don't have to that's a great thing about America you have the ability to not listen you don't have to announce you're not listening but everyone does everyone does everyone's got to go hey Tim I'm a big fan but I'm going to sit this one out well that's good okay

good for you you know you know I don't know I mean it was a fun episode this is the thing when you have guessed it's like there's two ways you can do an interview you can go at them be very combative

try to create like some viral moment of you being combative or you could just go fuck it which is kind of what I do I'm like I want to grip like I'm more interested

in the spiel and like if I'm getting sold by a salesman maybe it's because I used to be in sales I sit back and I'm like let him go let him rip

yeah I know it's not I know the rates are wrong I know he's not he's not able to do what he says but let him go he's in his he's in a moment he's you know let's let him

go and it's kind of the way I feel about her I'm like she's telling and I'm just sitting there going like okay we'll see what you got I look I'm sure it's a great episode fuck everyone what are we preserving at this point

what are we even like what are we arguing like the president you're like I don't know you get a griff then I don't know you get a grift then what do you think is left in this country by the way it's not much left hey you know the president's like the president's

still, like, you know, refusing to leave the White House. Or we can chew and eat gum at the same time. No, we can't. Like, well, we just focus on one thing. Yeah. Yeah. The country's still having, like, 20-person Thanksgiving and coughing in their grandma's throat. Yeah. But you're going to worry about what Tim has in his show. Yeah.

I, Whitney Cummings, a friend of mine comedian, gave me a lot of furniture. She gave me a lot of furniture, a high-end furniture, probably about $100,000 dollars with a furniture. Wow. I'm going to give her something. I'm going to give her something. I'm going to give her, like, 20 grand or something. but she's given it to me for the house that I rented

and I had never done a full move because I never owned anything so I always just left with like you saw how I moved but I was full a laundry bag with clothes and I would take out a laptop that was it You'd be offered me books that you were

like your Norman Miller books and like you know just garbage all over your floor I mean look up until a year ago you lived like a you know a pauper Absolutely and this is the first legitimate and so the moving was like

$1,200 to move and then the three guys worked all Thanksgiving. Wait, that was only $1,200 for the move? To move all that stuff? Only $1,200 for the move. That seemed pretty reasonable. But then I was fine. So I gave me an $800 tip because they worked all of Thanksgiving and it was three guys. So at least

it's like two something each, right? Two 50, two 60. Like, and they were so happy, man. They were so grateful for it. But what a fucking what a move you know

what a fucking what you got a nice dining room table Ben was supposed to come up Ben was supposed to come over but supposedly he had Thanksgiving plans with his wife at 8 o'clock in the morning Ben is your podcast producer

slash personal assistant for those who don't know yeah Ben supposedly had I don't know what they were doing they went to the church trot I guess at 8 o'clock in the morning so he couldn't come over and help I don't know what he was doing

he was he was I get every And now I text him I go What are you doing tomorrow Are you trick-or-treating Or can we do a little work Are we doing

Are you Christmas caroling? Are you caroling? Or can you come over a few hours To hang out of the work? Did he really go on a turkey trite this morning? No, I don't know what he did I don't know what he did But

It's hard finding, you know, good people Well, you know He's great But at the end of the day It's like, you know Nobody works And you know Everybody works

And then if you ask anyone that's under 30 or you tell them that you don't like the job days on, they cry and they have a cancer. They tell you they love you. I mean, that's what that's, that's a new way to get over is you just start crying, I love you, I just, I'm so sorry, I disappointed you. And then you don't change your behavior at all.

That's the way to do it. This is a phenomenon I've witnessed as well. It's just just kind of infantilized, not just, you know, amongst a men, but everyone's just an emotional basket case. And they bring. break down, they start crying. Do you think that that's like, that's actually legitimate, like they actually just are fragile, or do you think they just learn from their weak parents

to just, well, I'll just throw a tantrum and like get my way? I think it's a little bit of both. I do think people are fragile now, though. As much as I'd like to see it to say these kids are like diabolical. I do think they're fragile. I really do. I do believe we have this learned fragility, as the great Rush Limbaugh would say, learned helplessness, learned fragility. There's a, who's still alive, by the way. He was like, he's a state 5 lung cancer, he's 17 lung cancer.

He got that middle ago ago. He was going to be the only one to survive COVID. Yeah. I sent him an email in Palm Beach. I'm like, hey, man, I am a fan. Can I interview you? I'm course he's never responded. You know, of course.

But. Do you think he just babes naked in a bathtub with that bedel on? I mean, if he's not, he's making a mistake. Yeah. It's just a ball and move. What did you say? He's bathed naked with one on? That medal.

Remember Trump put that medal on him last year? The State of the Union? He just bathed naked. They just find his dead body floating in a tub naked with that Congressional Medal of Freedom. He was a real hero. He was a man. But it's learned for Jillian, meaning like, there was something that happened in the country. And I don't know when it happened.

Everything became about your emotions. everything became about how you were feeling and your mental health and wellness and self-care and everything became about how you were feeling every moment of the day and you needed to like the kids did out the other day of car you opened for me who's great but like he used his word that quality of life I just wanted a great quality of life I'm like no one I know grew up using that terminology people like I want a roof over my head but now these kids have been like they've been like told that like that their mental constitution is entirely dependent on them being comfortable and it's I understand mental health and being mentally

healthy but these kids are now told like hey your mental health is entirely dependent on everybody around you telling you how great you are and loving you at every minute every great artist 20 years ago including yourself was living in the crack den at his age and he's just I wrong, great quality of life. Like, like, you imagine, like, you know, only guys in the 60s and the 70, even these guys who came up in the 80s, probably, like, lived in, like, fucking shitty,

like, you know, run-down areas in New York City. These guys in comedy, I mean, even, like, it's just the level of... You know what it is? So you can't get upset with anyone under 30 because they will literally cry. I mean, they will literally cry, and they will tell you that they're so sorry

and they need to go to therapy. And I'm like, dude, I wanted you to work for two hours on the morning of Thanksgiving where there's a pandemic and there's nothing going on we're getting free not free but we're getting heavily discounted furniture for our podcast video

and it's like how about we work for two hours and then he sends you a whole big thing back he's like hey man I'm sorry I didn't communicate with you that I was busy I got to stop doing this you know your own more I got to go to therapy

I'm like you don't have to go to therapy just come yeah it's like I am old then just do the thing do the job like It's every which way but the job. It's like, I'm going to go to therapy. I'm going to go on a silent retreat. No.

It's like, he just goes to therapy. That's more time he's not available. It's like, no, this isn't the solution. I have to work on my chakra. How great would it be if you went to therapy and he's playing the situation. Therapers look at him and why don't you fucking go help the guy move? Is that your job?

Isn't that your job? Yeah, that's a therapy session. It should be over 20 minutes. yeah but that's the thing they're all weaned on therapy that's the grift it's just like no one these therapists could probably fix people in a week

go hey stop stop hitting your kids you know stop drinking so much of it is so much of it is very people are very like life is hard this is what people should like get through their heads right

which none of this generation under 30 seems to get life is hard for the majority of people on the planet Earth, it's brutal, short, and horrible, okay? Life. Now there's moments of levity and fun and whatever, but it's a tough thing. Life is hard. This is like what these people are finding out. It can be great, but not all the time, not every minute, not every second. Most of what you have to do in life is drudgery. You're saying, oh, you've got to do this, I love performing,

how much of that is, you know, how much of my day is, like, getting on a plane, checking a hotel, like, everything I hate to get to something that I love to do. So when I'm like, hey, man, can we move the tables for two hours, it becomes like this strange thing where I'm like, I'm like taking the unfun world and like injecting it into the reality of like, But it's Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is fun.

I mean, how many? For me. How many years have we been making this point? Like, it's for fucking children. All these holidays are for children. They're all for children, but these are children. You know, so people are like, I'm going to try to. I didn't request the whole Thanksgiving.

I wasn't like the whole day. I was like, hey, about a couple hours in the morning. And, you know, it became. Yeah, I get it. I get it, man. I remember being on a job, and, like, you know, I was like 18 working at a retail store, and, like, my manager was like, and it wasn't one of these, like, corporate real-tape, real-tail, you're a smaller shop.

I was like, hey, yeah, I wanted to take my birthday off. He's like, your birthday. How old are you? Like, I mean, like, and you get that. You hate your birthdays. You don't give a shit about them. But I'm, like, these guys are, like, 26, 27. Like, no one's ever checked them on this stuff.

It's crazy. But, uh... It's like... There's something about it that I think goes back to like this idea, which is now very popular. This is a very, very popular idea

and I don't know where this came from. This idea of like balance, you know, where everybody's like, I want a balanced life. I want everything to be balanced. So I need to have equal parts

because balance is, you know, essentially like equal. So I need to have equal parts of everything all the time. I need equal parts love, equal parts work, equal parts fun, equal parts health, equal part success. And there was this idea that when I grew up, you would maybe make sacrifices for years. Many people made sacrifices for the majority of their lives. I don't know.

I mean, because like Michael Jordan was all about balance and well-roundedness. Right. Yeah, he was very, it was very balanced, you know. So this is what I mean. And I think that, like, there's this idea that, like, well, I just can't work for two hours on Thanksgiving because that's a holiday. And that's when I have my time with my wife. And I understand that. Yeah, but you know what?

Right. You know who's into that is like Norwegians or like Scandinavia? Like, these northern countries. Yeah, there's also people that work at Geico. Like, dude, go work. No, but that's my point. It's like, but these people are like, Dan, like, wants to be a star. but also I want to live like, you know, a balanced IKEA life.

And it's like we have one of the other. Well, the other thing is like, listen, there's a value to living in a very normal humdrum life. What I'm trying to do and what people in my business are trying to do is kind of fucking wild and crazy. And we have to not like, we can't observe every convention that regular people do. So sometimes things might need to get done on a holiday.

Sometimes things might need to get done during a time. Sometimes things might need to get done at 2 o'clock in the morning, because I feel like working at 2 o'clock in the morning. And if I feel like working at 2 o'clock in the morning, that's a problem. And if you don't feel like working at 2 o'clock the morning, that's okay, you don't have to work with me and for me. And I'm not mad at him. I'm just saying that like this is when you have an unconventional life, you're signing up for an unconventional life. And that life means you don't have to work as much as everyone else, never have to really clock in. But you might have to work at odd time. You might have to work at weird time. You might have to, like, you know, do things that seem crazy. Like, you know, do things that other people wouldn't do. Like, I'm sure, like, his wife was like, well, why do you have to help move this stuff and it was out? And it's like, well, number one, it's a podcast table for the studio.

Number two, it's work. Like, going and emptying shit out that we're going to fucking use is work. And we've got to clean stuff off and empty drawers. Like, it's a job. then listen, we made it on Thanksgiving because that's what the movers could do it, because the two days that were open with Thanksgiving in December 6th. And those were the two days. And it's like, you know, if you choose to do it on Thanksgiving, you know, it's Thanksgiving.

Now, I, you know, my head, I'm like, it's a pandemic. Nobody's having Thanksgiving. Right. You can have Thanksgiving any day, any night. So I think it's just people that say they want to take something all the way and go all the way and go really hard and work. but at the end of the day they really want to be a basic pitch and there's nothing wrong with that

but that's kind of deep down who a lot most people are they're like yeah I just want I just it's like that movie searching for Bobby Fisher like the kid realized I don't want to be a great chess player um and the movie may see you see that movie right yeah yeah so it's a bad as his chest kid

and he's like his dad is pushing him hard because he discovers chess and he's got you know his kid's like seven or eight he's a breakdown and then finally he realized oh you should be able to play baseball and all this shit and the movie makes it seem like he was able to do both but then I got into chess later on in life and I realized

oh yeah this kid's like a master but he never made the grandmaster let alone become like a champion like he's a loser I knew people who played with him in Washington Square Park it's a loser so it's like you know it's fine kid which kid is it Josh Waitskine you know he was doing the fucking tutorials on chess master 5,000 you know I got for Christmas

one year Have you watched the Queen's Gambit? No, it seems insane. I haven't seen the trailer even, but it's... I mean, I watched three episodes. I couldn't do it. I was, I mean, it's just... Look, the people who are great at chess,

I mean, you have on one side of Bobby Fisher, who's just like, we've played his tapes on the old show. Like him calling in the 9-11 to the Argentine radio station. Great. Oh, it's a great day, Pablo. was fucking blaming the Jews for everything I mean that to me that's the real Queen's Gambit I mean but I want that

I want to watch that where's that series on Netflix about Bobby Fisher's screaming about Jews yeah they do everything except for that more interesting it's like how did he get there someone explain how he got there and then you've got Gary Caspar who's getting like poisoned by Putin he's trying to become the governor of Georgia or some shit

I don't know what he's doing but you know they're a crazy bunch and uh you know it is I mean chess is just kind of every idiot plays chess now when we grew up it was a thing where like it seemed smart I was on the chess team

I was a captain in my chess club in high school and it seemed like but now every like every moron you see you know waiting for the bus is playing chess online with each other the whole mystique is ruined there's no more

it's not it's not a noble pursuit anymore now it's just like kids who play online poker might as well be the same thing but the champion right now is like 15 he's just some guy who's like you know, playing World of Warcraft on one screen, playing chess on 15 on the, you know, 15 screens on the other. But, yeah, I mean, I, I just think that, like,

so much of everything now just bored, I'm just bored. And I don't want to be as bad. You know, I just like, when I watch something, I'm like, I'm just boring. I'm bored. Right. It's, we're in, like, the second wave, the second lockdown, Trump's just don't let me do it.

Yeah, whatever wave we're in, I'm bored by. I know it's horrible and people get sick and I hope they don't, you know, I'm not going anywhere. I just thought, like, I find every expression of culture boring. I find every argument boring. I find every person making any other. Like, people are mad about a Jordan Peterson book. Again, the guy's been in a coma for a year or nobody's, I can't even like. Does he have a new book?

The guy's brain was wiped clean. He has got a new book. close 12 more rules for life I couldn't even write that it wasn't his brain wiped clean like what's the fuck happened? His like he's like you know cam girl daughter

probably goes straight for him right so I'm just like people are people are mad Penguin publishing house they had a big thing through a fan I can't believe you're published

to a piece of book and I'm like wasn't this a new story like two years ago like this guy The guy's a kook, right? The guy's, like, I mean, a lot of his lectures are kind of interesting. Like, you know, his old, the old school stuff he was doing.

But no one cares about him anymore. It's like they're making him relevant. It's like the guy, you're mad about it. Also, the worst thing he did was say, like, hey, I mean, he did say something weird about, like, marriage. But besides that, the worst thing he said was, like, take responsibility. It was like, this guy's a problem. Yeah, I mean, it's also like, guys, just fucking don't. ever get over it.

Don't you ever get over anything? Like, it's not important anymore. No one cares. It's amazing how this generation, this generate, yeah, well, a lot of notes to you that has a win. But it's amazing that this generation who is more Republican than Trump. This generation is like the least effective of any generation, probably as far as organizing and like, you know, all that shit is the most whipped up about every.

like they're like little bees flying around and they need to feel like they've won like you know the little civil rights movement was able to like like shift the needle over years gradually because they were just you know like you know smart methodical and they've been you know and and can you know was persistent and like these people are just hopping from like thing to thing every week and it's just what do you like who who's your target like what do we what do we even we're just against like uh anyone who sounds confident is that that that the thing? anyone who sounds like anyone who doesn't

who isn't kind of like just subservient and go oh I'm a real big fucking white people I might make it as a race thing I'm just like how much of a fuck like anyone who's got any opinion that isn't like completely subservient is just like you know like villain number one

I just can't imagine caring like yeah I can't imagine actually caring and I can't imagine a lot of these people actually care and they have to like grab themselves up for it and it's like you're making a new story when there doesn't need to be one, just publish a fucking book. It's not going to nearly sell as well as the first fucking book.

No one fucking cares. Just let it go. It's so fucking annoying. The guy was in a Turkish like, you know, like prison having COVID fits like a week The guy was having fucking electric shock therapy in Russia.

It's the point you always make about Milo. By the list to be on the skanks. You know, like everyone that got mad that he was going to be on the skanks and you're like he's in the basement of a Mexican restaurant in Miami Island City he's lost already Yeah I just

I don't know man It's still boring right now It's like I get it Because this is how you become a basic bitch Like I can kind of feel myself doing it Like this is how you just start getting interested in cars And like oh I want to get this type of grill

Like I get it Because after a while you start realizing like Oh there are no solutions It ain't gonna work And you're like okay I guess I should just start like I like now I look at the birds in my backyard and I'm like and I'm like is this how my father gets so like checked out

like my dad's completely just checked out I'm like this is how it happens because like 10 years from now people are still going to be mad about Jordan Peterson and I can either pay attention to that or look at my back start and be like is that a sin you know like that's what happens I just like fucking stupid uh Hank Paulson and the fucking you know in the movie to make the fail movie he's just like looking at birds

where the economy's collapsing. Yeah, I mean, I think that's where I'm going to end up. It's not a bad hobby. Honestly, I used to sell, you know, these things. You get a nice pair of like Zorovsky binoculars or something. Looking at birds is nice when you're looking through a nice piece of glass. It can be a nice hobby for you. Yeah, I mean, you just got to start getting into something, man.

I mean, this is a problem with politics and fucking culture. It's like you just got to start getting into something. It's like we're circling the drain in the society. I can't even challenge people on their ideas anymore. I just kind of giggle. And I just, you don't want to have fun and be funny. And, like, this revolutionary spirit, it doesn't exist. Right.

This is so stupid. And you just got to kind of, unfortunately, check out. You've got to check out after a while, you know? I think a lot of people, like, they get this illusion not so much because of, like, how hard it is to fight to fight. but when you realize the people you're fighting how full of shit the people you're fighting with are you know what I mean I remember when I remember like when I was like oh stand-up comedy

is going out I didn't know how this seems like a pretty definitive blow to it but you know watching that art form sail off into a relevancy and not you know because even of the pandemic really

but because technology has just kind of flattened everything and it's given everybody the ability to be funny and then once everyone has the ability to be funny you go well if the neighbor is funny you know and they put something on youtube or whatever why do i care about a guy that probably isn't any isn't actually funny who's worked for years to get funny like why because most people just want to laugh they don't respect the craft of comedy right that's the same way i look at the media landscape and the public intellectuals, it's like, well, most people just want to hear something, right?

They don't care that you like, you know, went places and worked places and studied and like crafted your views in any specific way and challenged them and, you know, or received accolades and won Pulitzer. They give a shit. Well, it's like, you know, if some guy has some fucking coin trick in front of you, you might be impressed. And then, like, pendulum, comes out. Oh, that's bullshit.

Yeah, I can see his fucking movements and stuff. I don't know. I don't know what this is. Like, I'm just, it's just hyper fucking focus, which magic doesn't really have, but, like, it's just hyper focus on, like, yeah, like, the supposed to craft. When, like, it's supposed to be a Carniac. It's supposed to be, like, a fucking gimmick, you know? The occasional, you have the occasional, carl in, or the occasional, you know, hicks or whatever.

But, you know, it's just there. It's supposed to go out and just have fun, get drunky chicken fingers. It's there, it's all chicken fingers. and then people trying to make into this life's this whole life's vocation I'm trying to get this guy I'm trying out in London to show me a dick because he just started bothering me on Instagram

and then I'm just like to show me your dick show me to keep messing with me and he's like I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I don't think he's ever going to do it what you mean he was harassing you like hey you suck kind of thing no no no no we're just going on and on about you know you know, I should get Katie Hopkins

something. Get Katie Hopkins who's Katie Hopkins? She's the white Candace Owens in Britain He's like, these immigrants They're all,

they all smell all shit Oh, now like God don't see so What happened I don't bring I was supposed to be The higher class one

They all smell I don't know what she says Whatever Like so No, but she does shit like that It's worse than that Whatever you know

Yeah And I know they got problems with the events over there But I'm like I'm like I'm like Oh my man Just show me a dick

They made him download Snapchat Because the pictures Disappear So is this guy Is this guy like Did you know he was gay Or you just kind of like You know

He says he's bye And he's whatever I'm never gonna see He's fucking London I'm just bored I'm like I'm trying to ever show me I'm like

You idiot He's like It's not a great dick I'm like I know You're British Doesn't matter I'm going to I'm bored

I'm bored How much of the gay community online is like just wasting time. Is there a lot of time wasting? How much of all communities are just wasting time? What's good point? But I feel like

I feel like That being said You know, the least of the day online was also kind of a waste most of the time. I just feel like it's annoying. It's all a waste of fucking time, dude. It's all a waste of time. I think at a certain point what happens is

if you find someone halfway deep and you just go, all right, let's just do this because, like, and I mean, like, long-term even, because you go, you know what? Like, I'm just sick of this shit. No, I mean, how much, like, how much of life is supposed to be, you know, to vote to this fucking pursuit? Like, I don't know. It's crazy.

I mean, it's just annoying. Have you been meeting people out there during the pandemic? It's hard. I mean, I've met a few people out in Palm Springs when I was there, and it's, but it's very hard. It's very difficult in the pandemic. It's like, it's fucking weird. and I mean more people on the road When I go on the road

It's a lot more fun Because it's like yeah I'm only town for a while It's fun It's like we all get what it is And come back to L.A L.A just sucks Yeah

Well yeah because Everybody's in L.A L.A is just the best looking place in the world Everybody's like You know And it's just going to road And people are just impressed

By a lot more It's just impressed Like It's like Yeah in L.A It's like yeah You got a blue checkmark So is my dog

You know It's like On the road, you go to Arizona, people are like, whoa. The problem is if you moved out, let's say you move to, where's a place you could move? Yeah, but like somewhere, let's say you moved to somewhere even like smaller even, like Richmond, Virginia. And you were like, you were a big star over there. Like, how weird would that get within like six months? Would you, would it just be like, a weird creep, like comedian who's just like, I'm saying it's like when people stop being impressed?

Yeah, I just think the. road is to move. When you travel, you meet people travel. You move around, right? It's more fun that go on the road. You meet people. You got, hey, I'm here a couple of days. I'm performing. What are you up to? There's an urgency. There's like, all right, well, you want to eat? You know, and it's like,

there's a novelty. And then you're back home, and it's like, it's just no one's hair. It's like, you know, it's also weird with the pandemic in politics now is insane like people putting shit in their bios on the bookup apps like you better be for defunding the police

what is this? What is this? If you're not for fucking if you haven't read Trotsky I'm a sucking your dick. Yeah it's like you don't show up at this glory hole with your pro police. You're like wait a minute, hold off. I mean that used to be a guy you know it's like

I mean they used to be a thing Didn't guys, like, gay guys just, like, hook up with cops and stuff? Or wasn't that, or were I just making it up in my head? Well, that's probably is the case. I'm sure it was the case to a certain street. It's probably gay cops. What a horrible Thanksgiving.

What a horrible Thanksgiving, by the one, for everyone. Like, it just hit me how bad this has been. Like, this has been so atrocious. It's like, everybody in, everybody in the photos on Facebook looks already tagged. They're, like, involved in the chair. You have masks on, that people are cooking. It looks so. bad, dude. Do you see my turkey I made?

It looked pretty good. Yeah, we, we, I, I, spank cocked it, baby, what's it called? Spank, spank, spancocked. I can't remember what we call it. What does that even mean? It's when you slice it down the backbone, you slice the backbone out and spitcock it? It can't, I haven't, I haven't written that. Spick, cock it sounds filthy.

Oh, spit cock that. Look, look, look, there's a spitcock. Turkey. Spatchcock. That's it. Spatchcock. Yeah, I mean, it's like... And, you know, so you kind of butterfly it out. Some guy on Instagram was like, that's not Spatchcock. It's because he got bunched up in the picture.

But trust me, I cut the backbone out, all right? It was hard. I don't have a good knife, so it was hard to do. But, you know, we made a nice little two-person Thanksgiving. We had mashed potatoes handmade, and we had the stuffing. But, yeah, I also, you know, I could have eaten, you know, Denny's. Not Denny's. I didn't have eaten Denny's my life.

what we're talking about, like whatever, takeout, McDonald's. Like, I don't understand this weird fixation on, like, you know, getting together and like, oh, it's just like, you think about, like, you know, what was like in the Soviet Union in, like, the 70s and, like, you know, people were just, like, living in shitty, shitty apartment blocks, just, you know, they just know what the government's, you know, people, they're coming back from Afghanistan with, like, like, missing and shit. And everyone's just fucking depressed and come back on heroin. And, like, we're all just like, oh, we can't eat fucking turrets.

turkey together. It's just like it's not like going to fuss about it. It's not having a fucking deal. It's just just relax. It's like how funny would it be if they did get people to sign waivers that they couldn't go to the hospital if they went to like their Thanksgiving

and they're like EMTs and they had to show up in their house and they go like no no they're like if their oxygen is low they're like slap it around like a fish on the floor And the MP's like, no, no, no. They show up, and they show up, the guy's been stabbed.

Like, we still can't do anything. I'm sorry. But, yeah, I don't know. It's just, like, the level of, I mean, people act like this is like, I mean, World War II and everything, you know, they act with this is World War II and we're rationing. And, like, it's just, I mean, the people who are out of work, it does suck. That's different. That's what, but that's the people bitching, the people are going, like, oh, I can't believe it's good fucking thanks. or like, you know, half the people

going on Thanksgiving anyway and just, you know, they don't give a shit and the other guy was bitching about it and it's like, you know, people used to get drafted in this country what are we whining about? Yeah, I mean, it's like, well, I feel like people should go to war.

Send them to war and Kamala will. Yeah. Wait, you can say Iran? I think Iran's now. be kind of weird I'm about trying to start a war with China which I maybe I have the power to do I don't know but it does

we were talking before it does seem like you know more moral like this maybe this is a bioweapon just because like it doesn't seem like China seems to be doing fine unless they're lying about which they might be they're pretty tight-lipped but this would be like you know as we're seeing it develop

over the wider picture now again not to be conspiratorial but it seems like if it was a weapon it did a good job you know I mean the economy's gutted the Dow was you know spiking which is you know but you know but no one's working I have to cut this short every door

in my house after the windstorm it's opening and none of them more like all of them I got to call a locksmith in tomorrow because they're all like fucking coming up so I just have to shut these doors because now leaves are blowing in it's going to be a mountain lion coming in here telling me about Q&ON oh thanks for doing the show I appreciate it no thanks for having me I'll do it again. Thank you, buddy.

That was Tim Dillon. Yeah, so I guess we'll wrap it up. We're close to a full pod here. I was, you know, good to they cut me off in the middle of my waxing philosophical about the war with China. But, yeah, it might happen. I'm not going to go fight. I mean, maybe I'll sit in like a, you know, predator drone thing and I'll just, you know, hit targets with a joystick. What do I know?

so we'll wrap this up thanks for listening make sure to go get you i'm a wine bitch princess t-shirts um you can find them on my twitter page there'll be a link on the on the description of this though too but uh they're phenomenal shirts they're you know they're available for a limited time they're uh it's a wine bottle holding a butcher knife it's great t-shirt uh you can listen to the patreon we have an episode every week uh extra episode uh five dollars a month and And yeah, follow me on Twitter Instagram at Ray Kump. And I'll see you guys soon. Have a great day.