Kump - 68 - Kump Butter

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

Ray and Lucie talk about Ray’s trip to the dentist, national parks, and Ray defends his controversial new invention.

Hello and welcome to Kump. You just drank some English breakfast tea. Waring to go. You know what this is in the box for the English breakfast tea? says this is a full body tea enjoy this full body tea with its rich flavor any time of the day

that's where we are in this world in this country you know if you're worried about change the name oh I can't have it any time what kind of person well you can't have English breakfast tea at 2 o'clock

that's why we have Brexit all right you need to think for themselves Maybe breakfast is great. I'm not telling you, but it seems like a lot of people are like, you know, there was some politician, uh, apparently in Britain who lives in Spain, I get, I don't know how things work in Europe. It sounds very, uh, continental, I guess.

Guy lived in Spain and he can't go back to Spain. They kicked him out of Spain because of Brexit, but he was a guy who was for Brexit, was politician. And, uh, now he's like, I wish I could live in Spain. You can have the tea whenever you want Think for yourself I'm a little cranky I had teeth issues again

This week My well documented This podcast if it's nothing else It's a documentary glimpse into my mouth Into my teeth I had more teeth removed From my skull rotted teeth

Teeth with no purpose left Because they were rotted I thought they broke it Last time But it turns out It was like no we didn't break it I mean maybe there was some enamel there that chipped But your tooth

The reason you had an empty toot Was because you rotted it Anyway Well there was another It wasn't just rotten right It was it was a It was twisted Well, here's the situation

Well, though it wasn't twisted I'm Lucy's misunderstanding Probably because I came home From the dentist Scotch in hand Just drinking I got a real drunk on scotch Just acting like a Roman emperor

Poet's Scotch Because I didn't have scotch back then I just remember that when you showed me the twos And it's little box You brought it home in a little box Yes We're going to make merch out of them And it does

It looks like a tiny model of Some kind of love crafty and monster Yes, it's a Cthuloo Twisted tentacles I have a Cthuloo too Here's the thing So I went to get a root canal Okay

And they said you can't get a They told me to get a root canal But a year ago And as early as months earlier Or as early as months ago They were like Yeah coming as soon as possible For that root canal

Now, but I'd get implants put in for these other teeth they pulled out. And they act like I just have all this money. They act like, yeah, we got to get this done too as a priority. And I'm saying to them, I think I need to get a bridge replacement. I keep saying this to them because they're like, because now we have like these gaps of no teeth on this one side. And I keep saying maybe I should get this bridge repair. Let's talk about the bridge.

Because I have to take this thing out every time I eat. It doesn't seem sanitary. It's weird. on the night when I got drunk on Scotch. I thought I lost it. You thought I was accusing you of throwing it out. Well, I just get, I just get, I just get very anxious when you tell me

that you lost your bridge because it could be anywhere. Like, it's like a little, it's just like a, you know, and you always started by asking me to do throw out my bridge. And I think, well, maybe I did. I don't always start out you throw out my bridge, but, you know, I'm more, like, here's the thing. that, yeah, because I want, look, I expect the answer to be like, of course not, you dumb, fat animal. Why would I like throw out your bridge?

But you, I guess, because you're being honest and you're not being defensive, at first, you're like, I don't know. What do you don't know? I mean, like, if you did. A bridge is a very tiny thing. Yeah, but you kind of like, I have no idea if I threw that. How would I possibly know? It's like you coming up to me and going like, Did you throw out my very special piece of lint?

That's not what it's like. This is so much bigger than a piece of lint. Don't you exaggerate? There's enough exaggeration going on here without you. Would you, would you, would your lint analogies? All right? Now, here's the situation. So we found it.

The point is like, I'm like, I, but, you know, I can't chew here. I mean, before they pull this tooth out, it's just an exposed root. And every time I eat, because I'm trying not to eat in the bridge, because then, I know, bridges aren't supposed to come out. It's things broken. That's the point, right? So the point is, I'm like, maybe I should get this thing. And they keep going, well, what's your focus on this side of the mouth first?

Like, I can't eat, which I get it. They're probably saying, well, that's not a bad thing. It's a fat boy. Which, fine. But, like, say that then. I don't like this passive aggressive. Well, just don't worry about it. I'm like, look, let's figure this out.

Do you think they're denying, do you think? Because this is a real issue from what I've heard. Do you think they're playing fast and loose with your teeth because you're a big man? What is this is a real issue? You've heard that fat men get bamboozled? I've heard that fat people can get bamboozled at the doctor. At the doctor, maybe.

You have the dentist. I mean, look, what's the angle here? You're the dentist. What's the angle? Ooh, that fat guy coming in. he loves to eat he won't go without some of these guys will go without teeth but not him

he will pay anything to eat rock candy again his precious rock candy this fat stomach garbage that's good for my bridge uh like the pepper I'm mixing it with water don't worry here's the thing

so whatever so I'm just saying so they had to pull This tooth is rodded, this root canal tooth. We got to pull it. They keep going like, look, because I don't have insurance. Why have it some, very little. Why isn't dental insurance covered like health insurance? I don't know.

Stop tweeting everything. Why don't everyone tweeting these things all the time? But yeah, it's a fair point. I don't know. Maybe because you don't, you know, get cancer in your teeth. I don't know. What am I know? The point is, what's the point?

Oh, so they had to, you know, I came into the root canal. They said, we got a pull a toot. It's going to cause the same. Again, pull your toot and implant a tooth in there as you had a root canal. But the insurance of my, when the butcher shop was slightly covered, it, it doesn't matter. Well, I said, fine, scrow it.

Let's pull the tooth out. And they go, you got, they do this. They go, you got cavity in the wisdom tooth. You got cavity in the wisdom tooth. Oh, yeah, we got a fill the cavity. You don't do that in their wisdom, teeth. We pull that out, too. And they say, you're going to be numb there anyway.

I mean, how long does it take to numb me? How long does it take to numb a man's teeth? Shouldn't take that long. We'll get to that in a second. But I say, fine, we'll take the wisdom tooth out, down, too. God forbid you numb me twice. So I sit down, and then they start, you know, they start to pull the tooth out, you know.

And, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's a bit of an ordeal. You know, I don't know. I mean, I've always gone to, I'm not of a certain age where, like, I didn't grow up in the dark ages of dentistry, you know, where, like, they just pulled you with a wrench or whatever, pulled you to that. But I've always been pretty, like, you're numb me, it's fine, you know, it's uncomfortable.

I've had teeth pulled, you know, in the past year, molars even. and this seemed like a bigger ordeal for I don't know there's a new dentist I think he's the main dentist at the place but like he I never seen this guy before and I don't know he seems to be the big cahuna but I feel like he kept putting Novakane in my gums and like and going like what you do you and that was like

and he started working on me and he's like I'm like ah he's like well can you oh you feel pain I don't know I can take it It's fine. Now, why is that your attitude at a contemporary dentist office? Right. An office of dentistry.

These people take pride. I think they're overchar. You know, I'm paying a lot of money for this, too. But, like, why is that, why is that the bar that you can take it? Look, I mean, I just, look, I don't want to, I don't want to be a fuss, right? I don't want to be a big, like, you know, a problem. But you're being a fuss by writhing and pain. Well, he did say something to me.

effect of uh i don't want you to take you i want you to be comfortable which i get i mean i don't know i told explain this to you and you seem to be very much of the opinion that like i shouldn't try to like you know withstand pain i mean women women give birth every day the year but i'm supposed to just be like give me one nova cane in my gum sir i can't take it oh it hurts so much oh Look, I'm not sitting there wiggling around going, oh, God, oh, my God, don't give him one over here, no. No, that's not what's happening. I'm just going, like, he's pressing, like, pushing down, and just release the tendons, and I'm, like, occasionally going, like, ugh, oh, and he's going, like, you're going, like, you're good, I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

I mean, like, I don't know, it hurts a bit. sometimes a lot I didn't tell him he's like he's like you're feeling pain I'm like I don't see I don't think they want your face vibrating at all

well I mean I can see the downside of a vibrating face when you're a dentist but you know then do then make then put novocaine in me I don't know what's so hard

I mean my gums aren't fat just give me more novicane look to your point women do give birth and stuff, but and with childbirth, you don't... I'd love to give birth. You don't have the option

of completely removing the patient from the situation, right? Like, you can't just, like, numb a woman's insides and vagina. But you can numb someone's gums. I feel like you could numb your vagina, right? Why can they put Novakene your pussy?

Honestly, what's different about gums and pussy? I mean, there's difference. There's many, many differences. But, like, you know, At the end of the day, you can numb anything, probably. Just put some numb butter. I mean, I guess you have some women. I'm going to make something for women called numb butter. It's a brick of butter, but it's Novakene, basically.

We just mix Novakene butter. Actually, no one's going to suspect it's actually butter. Usually these things aren't actually butter. Like, he's so pretty cool, like, shit, love a butter. Love her butter. But this is actually butter and Novakene mixed together. And we just, you could rub in, I'm not going to rub in your pussy, you rub on your own pussy. That's what a commercial, too, was like, I'm not going to rub on your pussy, you rub on your own pussy.

It's how this works. I'm not a creep. It's for you. It's for you to use. I'm not looking at anywhere near your stuff. Or you junk, your gear. I'm not looking to see your gear. So you wouldn't go the more traditional route with a commercial where maybe it's a bunch of women, like, you know,

talking about how much it's benefited them, and they're in the bath and they're in their, You know. No, I think it's important for the commercial to be me talking to the camera going, look, I made this. I'm a man, but I'm not looking to see your gear. I'm not looking to see your pussy, your ass, anything in between, all right? You buy it for me and then you apply it yourself. I'm not going to be anywhere near a situation. I'm not a doctor.

I'm not a creep. Neither are those things. I'm just selling you the Novokane butter. What were they calling it? um what was it no but pussy butter no it wasn't pussy butter i i know it wasn't cum butter that's that's our after after hours edition that's what that's what uh whatever it's called numb butter numb butter yeah gum butter yeah cum butter is what you use to make the baby yeah and numb butter is what you use to squeeze it out look i know i make cum butter also but that's a different part of the

company I own both parts but right now we're talking about numb butter and you might have used cum butter to get in the situation but either now I'm not putting the cum butter on the dig or the foot I'm not doing either one of those I don't know why everyone suspects me

I made a nice product by your own whatever and that's the go back to the Super Bowl Oh you think there's a Super Bowl commercial material Yeah Well, I'm going to let someone else be a big, I mean, I'm trying to become a big star here separately from the stun butter thing.

It'd be stupid to, like, give someone else a, you know, why not double dip? Listen to my podcast also. So this is an Olympic level. Olympic level? This is a Super Bowl level commercial. Yeah. And you're not, but, but what if, what if a, what if one of the superstars of the, of the, of the Super Bowl wanted to do the commercial for you? That, I've never seen that.

Does that happen? I mean, he does happen. What if a big football player wanted to do the commercial for you? Well, like, well, like Pussy Hunter, Joe Namath? Yes. Joe Namath Pussy Hunter wants the, we're fucking NCIS extreme featuring a long musk of the scum. What are we talking about here? Yeah, yeah, sure.

If, you know, Joe Montana wants to come and like, you know, and save his grandson, but also like advertised by Numbutter, I don't know. He can be next to me, like you are. I got Joe Montana here. If his, if his, he's an older man, but his wife can still bear children because he's a big star. He knows how to wed women who were younger than him. And he might have use for this numb butter.

Maybe not the cum butter, but the numb butter. Am I right? Don't, look, Joe Montana wouldn't be sitting next to me if I was a creep. All right? Let's get that clear. I'm a, I'm a businessman. I'm a respected businessman. This is a product.

I don't know why, I'm not hiding cameras in the numb butter. Why would I do that? It wasn't even like, well, I'm going to see. I can go watch an episode of Nova and see a Burt Canal. This doesn't get me off. Why would I, why is there a stigma to my number? And then like, you know, somewhere in there, I guess cut off because it's premium top dollar for the commercial.

I can't afford that much. Sure, yeah. But people get the idea. You go online. It's good. It's probably, for all this craziness, I probably stumbled upon a, great, insanely great commercial because people will Google Mumbutter.

What the fuck is this guy talking about? What is this guy? Who is this guy? Is he hack into the Super Bowl feed? And it'll just, and then people will buy it as a novelty, like a snuggie. See, in addition to it being a very strange idea for a commercial, it also seems very like male targeted for a product that's for women's...

Why is it male target? I'm talking to women. Men, I wouldn't have to talk this way to men. if I sell men stuff that goes in your ass to clean your ass no one's thinking I'm going to rub it in your ass for you men don't think that they're like oh that's cool well yeah I'll buy that oh by the way I'm not going to apply it to your ass yeah why would you no I'm just saying it doesn't have to be said you're right fair enough but if I if I just know if I start selling this product

women are gonna think oh who's this crepe making numb butter from my pussy what do you mean to be benefit in a creepway from this. I couldn't. There's no even ghoulish benefit to me numbing. I guess the idea of numbing pussy's

could be used in problem. But like, what kind of sociopath who commits sexual assaults cares if you're numb or not? I mean, maybe. I still can't get past the moment where a female football fan sees you and Joe Montana at a table

holding a can of butter. It goes. It's a brink of butter. It's a, what do you buy cans of butter now? It's a can of butter. It's a brick. It gets so far. And goes, this is a commercial for me.

Wow. It's cool. I mean, I do mention it goes to your pussy. Now look, men can have pussies too. I'm not trying to be gendered here. I'm just saying, but whatever, people who give birth to babies. I don't know. Is that accessible?

whatever whoever wants to use this now i guess there are some scenarios where like some guy might hide numb butter on like a bleacher and then somehow try to rate people without them knowing it maybe i won't make this because i don't want that to happen do you think it's a possibility well that's not you know that's not uh that'd be terrible you know that's not engaged in disastrous thinking here i mean you don't want to you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot before numb butter takes off right but i mean like you know maybe this is like the responsible thing you do is just never like like oppenheimer can talk all he wants about oh i didn't i shouldn't have made the bomb yeah it did but i'm not appenheimer maybe i just won't make them butter you know yeah you can

as a woman i feel like you should be more like oh yes that's so noble of you but you're just like you just want the money you want to ride this money train I feel like what was the innocent man all the guilty men because America is all about a million guilty men should go free before one innocent man goes to jail

but I say we can prevent all the rapes from numb butter and then like you know you see you know and then people don't get the benefits but whatever well I mean Why can't doctors just give Novocaine in the pussy? Why is it up to me?

I mean, honestly, because if they did, I wouldn't be able to make this convenient brick of numb butter that you could just rub on a bleacher and then rape a woman, which you wouldn't even know it. That seems too convenient from creeps. Can I ask how exactly would that, how exactly would numb butter help a person rape? Because you wouldn't even know it.

You wouldn't even know they were there. they be in the bleachers I'm just picturing some guy I'm gonna sound like a ghoul because like I'm just trying to think of all this is look you call me a creep now because I'm thinking of any permutations but like you know

you wonder it's like you blame cops for not doing anything about rape you blame no everyone for doing nothing about it I actually think well how can my product be misused and all of a sudden I'm the ghoul because I'm imagining with a guy like drill a hole in fucking bleacher and then rub numb butter there

and then you numb, and then he just fucking just doesn't even know it, it's terrible. But would numb butter be kryptonite to the rapist as well? That's an interesting point. And maybe they seem to last longer. Who knows? Look, I think... He might last longer.

Wait, wait, okay. The worst of all worlds. So this numb butter is strong enough to completely eliminate the pain of pregnancy. Well, look, I mean, we're overshooting there in the marketing of it. I mean, look, the other side of the coin is, you know, we only have a year before people realize, look, it makes your pussy numb, but it still hurts. I mean, it doesn't numb the Burt Canal. Okay.

Well, see, I think we figured out the real evil of numb butter, and it's not hypothetical rapists. It's that it doesn't do what you claim it. Well, I wasn't planning that, but I just realized you're probably right, and that's going to be an issue, too. But, like, all the more reason not to release it, then, if it's going to cause, like, you know, these rape attacks. This is the kind of, this is a responsible business that like should be taking place

in America. And you're mocking me. You just, you're such a ghoul. I'm like, you know, don't come up with scenarios that are going to hurt us out of the gate. And I'm like, we just realized maybe why it shouldn't be. I was about to suggest that maybe you should invent

numb butter and I can be like, you know, the point person for it, the PR person, but now I'm not sure if I want to be. Because apparently it doesn't do what it says it does. Well, look, it doesn't... And it helps rapists. It numbs the pussy. It does.

But, you know, we just didn't... We're men. We didn't, you know, necessarily imagine all the different things that hurt during birth. You know, the cervix stretching and the fucking uterus breaking. Whatever happens. the fucking, you know, the dilation and all that. That hurts probably. And I'm sitting there going like, I always said they wouldn't be there,

but I am there, the film testimonials for the first few women who sign on. And so I am there, not looking at anything. I'm like, there's a fucking sheet. And I'm like, you know, we have a film crew, but it's all waist up. And we go, and like, doesn't that, and she's screaming, like, but you're pussy's numb, right? It's still, isn't it pussy? Ah!

Ah! But, yeah, again, I can't stress it. I can't stress to you enough that there's a sheet and waist up. So you're not seeing anything. You're not seeing anything as this woman gradually realizes that you are a giant fraud. Well, look, this is why we needed trial runs, all right? I was hoping to get a nice testimonials. She probably won't give me a great one.

So it's just, it's business justice. All right. I didn't make it hurt more. It's not like icy hot where like all of a sudden she's burning and she's in pain. It's just, you know, it's like, it's just she's realizing this didn't do much. Okay. I mean, I didn't tell her, I didn't tell her to not go to Lamas class. Maybe she did avoid the Moss class.

She should have still went. I never said skip Lamas class. I'm just trying to help. She should be a little sad. than like think this fat idiot man like you know like let's give him a shot but like you know we'll have what is a contingency plan to be in place sure why did you trust me i feel same when people want to shoot me those weddings like i mean i didn't ruin their weddings but it's like sometimes people didn't like when i was first starting yeah sometimes people have high standards they get a deal

and they're starting now and they still think i'm going to be you know you know andzel adams and it's like you know if this was so important to you why you're paying $300 for it. Yeah. Is that how much numb butter costs? No, I'm doing 100 bucks.

I'm talking about the photography. I mean, $300 is pretty cheap for, you know, wedding photography. That's true. But, you know, it's like, we start. Now, you're trying to get, you're trying to get the portfolio. But everyone who gets the, who doesn't care

about their wedding photography is ugly. It sounds. I mean, like, but there is a thing of like, you know, you're not going to get, if they're not, if they don't care about they're not going to be the most beautiful, elegant prize of the beautiful dresses and the prize made of all those colorful fucking dresses.

I'm just saying, like, you're trying to build a nice portfolio. Whatever. Look, not everyone who gives us, you know, there's a second marriage and just fat people like me, and whatever. We don't care, we're 50 in fat. We're just eating, they just have salami wrapped around the shrimp. And they're, like, it's sweat in the middle of June. the backyard.

You don't want to put that in your, you don't want to show some budding bride who's like a hot 24-year-old Long Island chick, like, who's like getting some storybook wedding. Look at it, look at these pictures. There's what I could do. And he just, you're like, oh, is that prosciute wrapped around a shrimp?

It sure is. Look how sweaty these guys are. It doesn't work. Can't show up a bridal expo show him people at? No one will hire you. Now, the point is, So, yeah, the numb butter, I don't know. I mean, I try to help women.

This is a problem. You can't just condemn people because they brainstorm on behalf of women. I'm just saying, numbing up my gums, maybe share some of that with you ladies. And, you know, I just, my brain stores. I can't stop my brain from working, the gears from fucking spinning. Anyway. So the dentist appointment was hard. Well, you know, it turns out, you know, the, you know,

My teeth, the roots, had burrowed, they'd grown under my teeth. And it's just pulling, and they're yanking. And I'm like, I'm not, it hurt. But I'm like, I'm putting up with it. And you're in pain. Like, it's fine. I can take it. And they can't put novocating in.

It's still hurt. That's the other thing. It's still hurt. So I don't know. It turns out, it's a solitude in half with these little saw. excuse me and then he get leverage

and it turns because he then he's not all connected so these teeth are all like growing together like running roots so you know

I think I was right I think it would hurt the matter what and I'm just sitting there going like look you just rip it out whatever I don't know

you think I'm a toxic masculine man whatever I'm sorry I don't go like oh it hurts it hurts doctor please give me more numb butter right my mouth shove that pricking num butter in my mouth i can't take it i'm sorry

that my instinct my instinct is just kind of going fair enough so yeah teat uh what else is going on well you know you've been um you know in in addition to fighting for the rights of women yes to feel less pain well just trying to help women uh you know you came up with a very innovative recently, I think, about how we should use our public parks. I was watching Jeopardy. All right. We were watching Jeopardy. And there's this woman.

A woman. Who, uh, I said, there's this women. That doesn't make any sense. There's a woman. Yeah. I don't know. She had a very kind of smug demeanor. It's not because she's a woman. I love women. But she was a little kind of like,

yeah. Yeah. Right? You agree? I think she was Yeah I guess I could see her Being interpreted that way And she was bragging

Basically in her like bio You know If they come back from the first commercial break Like you tell us a story And these stories are always like Awful And her story was like I go in national parks

Of my husband We've been to 25 national parks I've been to 25 national parks Out of 68 In the past nine years Or 11 years of marriage Whatever it was I'm like how it first of

My first reaction, how was this a novel story? This is not something I want to know about you, but whatever. What really bugs me is we have all these parks for all these people who are on jeopardy to hang out. Why don't we give these back to the Native Americans who we stole them from? I mean, I am sick and tired of hearing about the genocide of Native Americans, how we screwed them over, how we treaties and this and that. and then no one does anything.

Why are we maintaining parks for people who go on jeopardy to hang out at? Yeah. Why? Give it back. Like, am I wrong? Aren't these reservations that we've given the U.S. government's given to these tribes?

Shitland. Am I wrong there? I don't want to be to speak out of turn. But I'm pretty sure we didn't give them the best land, right? I don't think it's the best. Or even good. Yeah. I think it's generally pretty bad.

Uh, if people go, Yeah, there's like issues with the water and stuff. People can't go, what are you going to do? Go back to the old day. We can't turn the clock back, but we have 68 parks where fat people eat hot dogs. Massive parks. And those are the most beautiful things. Yosemite.

Uh, wildwood, right? Was that, was that? I got that was a water park. Is that a casino? A lot of these things are good. Don't be careful. A lot of these things. I mean, isn't wildwood.

It might be. I don't know. No, be careful. You'll be careful. Look, I don't want to begrudge Native Americans are finally finding a way to get over a little bit on these fat tourists. I would too.

I mean, if they weren't robbing people at gunpoint in the casino, I'm like, well, yeah. I'm just saying, like, there's this kind of attitude, like, look, we can't, what are we going to do? Go back to living in the woods, which seems, I'm not saying that. People say these dismissive things, like, where we can't undo what happened move on

but we can give them the parks the parks are beautiful we could very yeah we could give them the park give them the goddamn parks and let them like have a like start a nation in there and go to war with us as they want I mean like I don't know if they're going to win so be careful but I'm just saying like but let them do their shit if they want to

the thing is that as soon as you give them the parks then there's going to be some like oil pipeline right behind them going like so you got yourself I don't know of a park, huh? Time for us to come in. Just, just like, wait, all right. So you think, so your answer is to be paternal.

You go, look, we'd love to give you a land pack. But if we do, then the oil companies who own us will come to you. And then they'll. But isn't that what happens whenever we, you know, isn't that what's happened to every, like, it seems like that's the cycle. I don't know. I kind of feel like if we're good, look, if we decided to give them back to national parks. then we could also pass a law saying

and oil companies can't. But, I mean, like, that's... That's true. I mean, it seems like a really defeat us. We'd love to help you out. We know we stole your land, but I mean, if we didn't, the oil company would come over and, you know,

if we gave you your land back, the oil company would try to put a pipeline there. But they're already doing that. Yeah, we know. I'm just saying, what's the plan? I'm just saying, what's the plan to, you know, beat back the pipeline without, you know, it's like making, I don't know, you know, fake charities about veterans defending Native Americans.

Do you want to explain? I know what you're talking about, but you want to elaborate on that? People don't think that like veteran, like, Rambo's coming home and like making fake charities. There was an incident. The Dakota pipeline. With the Dakota pipeline, Native American people were protesting the pipeline, the extension of the pipeline. Yes. and there was this non-profit that was started.

Right. And it was something like veterans for Standing Rock or something. Here's the day. I know some people have a generous heart that'll cut you off. Yeah. But generally, if you're not, so what do you get in there? This, if you're not getting a profit. I'm just saying, like, these people tend to be, what else is it?

What is your head? What whole of yours is your finger in? We're gone. Just saying. And basically it ended with a bunch of, like, well-intentioned veterans, like hanging out at an airport because there had been no, like, hotels set up for them or anything. There was no, like, there was millions of dollars put it into this nonprofit.

It never went anywhere. Was this the cop who was on the Baltimore cop or whatever? Yeah, it was that guy. He was on some podcast. Yeah. Some famous podcast? Well, I'm trying to start a beef here. You're trying to get us fucked here?

Look, to be fair. I'm kidding. It's hard to sort out the big scammers from the small scammers from people who aren't scammers. I don't know. My point is, like, yeah, look, I'm sure some veterans will show up at the airport near the parks where we give them the land back.

But, I mean, you know, I think it's a small price to pay. Look, we'll find a way to deal with the problem of veterans. being nuisances a different way maybe we'll give them health care that would be nice don't they like not get health care unless they like shot like a certain amount

of like civilians or something like but why don't they I don't know there seems to be rules down that's a horrible joke I'm sorry that's a horrible no seriously but isn't there like why don't veterans

have better or do they have to show up at the VA and D.C. or something it seems like so many veterans I don't think you get the benefits unless you like stay in the army, right? I don't know how it works. It seems like so many of them get fucked. It definitely seems like as soon as you leave the army, you're fucked. Yeah, it's so good.

Doesn't seem like a great system. I want to help the veterans. I'm not for war. I don't think these wars are like what you say they are, but like, if we're going to put them in the war, then you fucking fix their dicks, you fix their legs, you fix their cancer. anything's wrong with them soup to nuts i don't care if they if they lost their leg to heroin overdoses yeah if you had to fucking go you know fight for coldgate or you know or or denies or whatever the fuck corporation they're fighting for you might try heroin too so i'm just saying

do whatever soup to nuts but also give the public land to the naive americans uh I don't know why is this such a hard thing. These Native America, I mean, these public, these parks, people just murder them all the time and abducted. Women get abducted and then they die hiking because no one knows how to hike. Oh, but I like to go climb mountains. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself if you like to climb mountains. That's the reason we're not giving it back to the tribes.

Suck it! The fuck are what you talking about? Oh, I'm Alex Freehold, a free climb. or whatever the fucking kid is. Free solo, whatever is that show movie was? Yeah. Oh, but what's free solo going to do? Full off a fucking cliffro like care.

We're talking about hundreds of years of genocide. Yeah. Am I the only one who sees the world how it is? And also, I mean, I think they'd let Alex Honnold or whatever his name. I think they'd let him climb some rocks. I'd like to be in a treaty that they don't. I'd like to be like, well, this guy is just trying to make a documentary. The showboater.

I don't know I mean honestly Look at this point I'd be very disappointed if they did If they find If I become president And they make this happen And I'm like look

And I saw like I leave office And a year after I leave office They're letting this fucking Alex guy Freaks free solo on their mountains What are you doing? What do you do? Didn't you learn What happened before?

You don't let them in leave them out they get their foot in the door and then they fuck it all goes to shit yeah i mean it does seem like you know at this point we're using the parks for like 50% rock climb 50% some people rock climbing right and 50% torturing women yeah murder yeah murder sites yeah bury a body just give it back yeah get some goodwill do the right thing dang um but yeah my teeth whatever it's still sore i've been rubbing whiskey in my gum like i'm a teething baby i'm sorry thanks we moved on for the teeth yeah we put some uh we're on over on this this is the topic yeah yeah with some little naz uh shoes people are mad about

little naus x shoes you go buy some middle naus x shoes i'll buy you some blood shoes they call blood shoes suicide she devil satan shoes right when he called people are mad about little naus x shoes Nas X. Why, I got confused I thought he was Nas. I'm not the most up on top of hip-hop thing. I don't think I should be imposing my point of view onto hip-hop

as far as the structure of names, for instance. It does seem odd to me, little Nas X. I don't think he's affiliated with Nas. I could be totally wrong. It seems to me almost like a vice car to call myself a little George Carlin. But, you know, whatever. It's no mind.

it's not for me to say whatever that being said people are upset because he has made a music video where I guess supposedly I watched some of it I guess I didn't I don't know if I caught the devil

twerking part but someone's twerking on the devil and then he's also selling shoes these sneakers to have a drop of human blood in them and people are like this guy's and he recently said that he does, you know, most of my fans are children.

So what did he say? Was there some press conference where he said, most of my fans are children, and by the way, I have Satan blood shoes. I think it was like two months apart. Oh, okay. Is he the guy did Old Town Road? Which I only recently even knew was a song.

Oh. This stuff is also goddamn corny. I'm sorry. I'm not going to speak as to whether or not he should call him to Lil Nas X. that's not for me to say but I can say watch this video it all seems very corny to me honestly these shoes look pretty cool

no shoes cool the idea of it being a Satan shoe because it's a drop of human blood in it which is like yeah I mean like you know so every shoe got you drop every Nike shoe I don't want to get sued by Nike here but I mean are these shoes made in sweatshops or not

is that thing because I feel like a lot of people if shoes are made in sweatshop let's just say I feel like there's a lot more a drop. I don't want to give me these kids band-aids if that's happening. I don't know what the conditions are. I know it's a, it's a

cultural meme to say certain companies have certain shoes that have made a certain sweatshop. I don't know. I don't know. But I feel like a drop, like just a drop? Just a drop. I don't get the Satan angle.

I'm not saying it's corny like like what you want. But like I'm just saying if we're going to be afraid of something. I mean, you ever listen to Biggie? Yo, I mean, I'm not going to do an impression, but just told me, I'm going to torture you and like shove rats in your ass

or that Method Man. A lot of these guys in the 90s are very mean. And this is a little Naz-X guy doesn't seem that mean. If I'm going to get my, you know, option, if you want my kid listening to Biggie and Method Man, Red Man, these guys are just real, real visceral stuff.

Or, like, Lilna's ex, who's like, you know, he's playing with the rodeo devil. Or the old town devil, whatever it's called. Right. Oh, he's twerking. Now he's twerking the devil. Elsa, why are we afraid of Satan? Is Satan fucking every... Does Satan fuck every altar boy in Boston?

Is that what happened? Does Satan fuck that, you know, that Catholic school for the blind and deaf? All those kids? I feel like Satan is really, you know, not the one. fucking children. I could be wrong here. I'm not saying there isn't some of that. We all know there's certain overlaps,

satanic pedophiles, sure. There is satanic pedophilia out there for conspiracies. I don't think, I do think when you compare it to the scope of the, for instance, Catholic Church, a little less. Yeah. In general, on a grassroots level,

Yeah. The people who are into Satan are dorks who like elaborate arts and crafts. Right. Of a dark nature. I mean, honestly, you watch a Maryland Manson video and like that stuff seemed much more dark. Yeah. Which holds true because apparently he was torturing that woman for years. Oh, yeah.

Allegedly. That's right. Allegedly. Allegedly, the guy dressed up like a fucking medieval fucking torture enthusiast. was not great with women. But no, the bottom of this box, it's, you know, it's just like, it looks like a, what's that creepy painter you showed me, the LaGoya or whatever?

Yeah. It looks like it could be a little LaGoya painting on the bottom of the shoe box. I think he's just goia. Oh, goia. Or Caravaggio, maybe. Yeah. And there's a. It looks like one of those hobgoblings.

I mean, tell the four, I can't see. It looks like a boggling. It's some naked people going to hell. Who cares? They're fucking... Kids can't, you know... Yeah, so, you know... The CIA is just fucking shoving rats in people's asses.

Gipmo is still open. Gipmo is, like, literally hell. We're literally just, like, bringing people in these dark rooms and fucking torturing them and playing metal music. and like, you know, they don't sleep for months of the time and we're just putting them into naked pyramids. Yeah.

Oh, but just wait until the devil gets serious. Then you'll see, what are you talking about? That stuff, the torture and stuff, that only becomes wrong if you put it on a shoe. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, imagine, imagine if, what's her name? She's like the CIA director now.

We're working about operations. She was the torture queen. Right. Imagine if she tried to make a shoe. How quickly the hammer would come down. on these people I don't know I mean there's even this little

you know I'm just looking at this shoebox design and there's even like this there's this very very basic bitch skeleton with like you know with big wings and it's looking over the naked people

you know what skeletons are they're people who die in the woods and no one finds them that's how I that's how I view skeletons because I worked with a morgue so I'm not I see skeletons I just feel sad for the person who's a skeleton.

Like, oh, you family didn't stick around, huh? Where you were drunk? Were you abusive drunk? Is that why? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe they have mental issues and they're wandering into the woods. Well, I don't think is evil.

Skulls are evil. You know, when you remove the skin off a skull, they become evil. It's just someone dumb idiot. Like, when I see a skull, I just see some fucking fat guy eating cheetos and watching the batches. You know, can you know why?

Because skulls don't get fat. I, I, uh, yeah, it's like, what, oh, I'm a skeleton. There's nothing less intimidating to a skeleton. Oh, a bunch of skulls. All right. Yeah. I mean, but what about? Yeah, the Nazis, uh, they put skulls in their hats, but they killed six million, uh,

was six billion Jews or was a six billion Jews? or was it six, or Jewish people, or was it six million altogether, but a lot of them, you know, predominantly do. A lot of people, six million people, most of them Jews, let's just say that, Jewish people. Yeah.

I don't think they left your skulls all around. You know what I mean? Like, that's the worst thing, like, I don't think Stalin did that either, or Mao. Mass murderers. Didn't just leave skulls at the bakery. Sure. And more importantly, the skull-inspired fashion isn't really the problem.

No, it was the 6 million people they killed. I don't know. Look, I have less of a problem with the SS and their skull hats and they can kill 6 million people. That's the issue. Right. Not that the fucking skull and corns bones. You know, it's not the skull flag the pirates have. It's the fact that they're raping you while they're taking all your.

gold and then killing you it's not oh that flag it ain't the it ain't the queen's union jack and i don't like that i wish they flagged the union jack and not the jolly roger no they're fucking you and taking your gold and killing you that's why pirates are bad yeah this whole idea of skulls don't understand it i mean you look at the world we live in and we're still worried about skeletons. I'm still worried about fucking, you know, like, ooh, who spooky, boo, boo, boo.

What's next if a fucking bunch of guys with white, I was going to say a bunch of guys in white hodes, but I guess that's the clan. Because the ghosts, but, you know, whatever. But, you know, I'm just saying, like, you know, the karate kid, and the kids are playing around in skeleton outfits. What do you, where do you think, I mean,

so there's going to be like six, Okay, 666 pairs. You know why that is. It's not going to be that many. It's going to be more probably. Whatever. And the first run will be 666. They'll be so well.

It'll do more. So where does the blood come from? I mean, don't we need blood? Isn't there like a blood shortage? Um, I don't know if that'll be solved. We're 666666 drops of, blood.

It literally says a drop of blood. We need that blood. Who are you going to give it to? I don't know. Anyone who wants it. Is it going to be his blood? If it's going to be his blood, I don't want it, per se. But that's at least, like, weird and noteworthy.

Like, should you be able to sell your blood? Um, that's a fair point. Like, where is this blood coming from? What are you talking about? Um, I mean, they're going to do it in a way where, like, like, I said when I was running five miles a day, You know, I used to have those Nike shoes that had the chip in them, and they would track you.

I'd be running around, they would track me, and they'd probably put the blood in like that. They buried it in the soul. It's so lame. They should give you blood-wrenched shoes. Shoes drenched with blood. And you're just running around, and then like your O.J. Simpson.

I mean, honestly, didn't know. Why did O.J. not get this deal. Will and A. I don't think he famously cut his wife and her lover head off. That's true. If this was from, if this was an OJ thing,

it would be much more scary. Imagine if O.J. released his own blood-soaked isotoners. That's the glove? And they're called if I did it. I mean, what are we talking about here? I mean,

I just drudge, blood-drenched shorts. I honestly, what if they started selling blood-drenched, like, women's underwear? That seems like, Like it would be, it would really depend on...

Too macabre. Suggestive. And that would be a great crossover for numb butter. Because somehow we would conflate the issue and like, we would never say that numb butter would stop your womanly bleeding. You're menstrual bleeding. But we would just kind of do a crossover promotion. And much like those in the subway, they had those. Didn't they have, I'm trying to remember, didn't they have blood-soaked women in blood-soaked panties in the subway for that ad?

Didn't they do that? What ad? Hey, there's some company for women's panties that, like, were made for periods. Oh, right. I forget. Am I just imagining that in my head or were these women just wearing blood-soaked panties? I think there was some kind of suggestive imagery. It wasn't quite that, but it was like, it was like some kind of plum.

That was like it was held near the vagina and it looked like it was blood. I've eaten menstrual blood before. I've not eaten it. I mean, I've gone down on women while they were on their periods. I've talked about this before. Maybe not in the podcast. Maybe just to you. But I mean, whatever.

Point is not you. There wasn't you. You famously don't want me to do it. I don't know if I should be bringing that up. I feel like you wouldn't want to be associated with nothing. That's like that. But some of women don't care. Whatever.

I mean, my point is I wouldn't describe as a plum. It also wasn't that bad. It's like, whatever. It's a big fucking deal about blood. You were made of blood.

Uh, whatever. People just need to calm down. Oh, I can't believe you got. Oh, you got blood in your mouth. There's blood all over your mouth. There's gums right here.

You fucking, you poke the gum. Blood comes out. Oh, I can't get other blood in my mouth. You're a steak out, get a cow blood in your mouth. I mean, but that's your blood that's serving you. Whatever. The difference. I mean, look, I'm not saying you start putting blood all over the place

because there's like hepatitis and the HIV. I get it. But I mean, if you're already like fucking someone and you're sharing fluids, you kind of is understanding that like, I hope you don't have hepatitis. But, you know, we're in the mix now. uh so i'm just saying the ads won't say the numb butter will stop the menstru bleeding

but we'll have the just we'll steal that idea and have the bloody the bloody underwear thing and go like got numb butter is this during the stage of re kind of reorienting where you realize that the numb butter really isn't working for for childbirth but it could maybe work for this other thing let me ask you it's not going to stop bleeding let me ask you a question if you don't have comfortable answering just go ahead and not answer it but as a woman who's had periods still does that's okay that's that's fine okay uh would your vagina being numb i guess really more your labia just would your labia because that's what we're talking about really right the labia well i thought it was supposed to go up in you oh maybe you could you could

do that, right? Okay. I thought that was the whole point of it. I was just kind of, like, just rubbing on the labia. But I guess you're right. You could just kind of, I mean, maybe we need to like, right, so here's the deal. The numb butter, it'll be a brick like a soap, but it needs to come with a handle.

I'm afraid people will, like, it's getting slippery, you're going to lose it, and then you got to be hard. You'll get it out. But, like, it's just kind of, you don't want to be fishing this thing out of you. It seems like, right? So, when it will put the handle on it. it'll add to the cost whatever but how big is this handle you know like a like a pacifier maybe

kind of size okay or hook that's not bad a hook a hook I feel like people aren't going to respond to it's not a point to you I know the hook doesn't go in you but that's what people are going to feel like I don't really ideal I'll tell you why we can't do but this would be ideal is just the top part of a coat hanger but there's implications there like a plastic coat hanger would be perfect There's the top part, like that kind of a hook. But we don't want to be able to conflate that. But that would actually be the most convenient thing in the world. Just saying.

But as a woman who's had periods, it still does, intends to keep having them, I guess. Would your vagina being numb be helpful? Sure. It actually would. We got business. We're in business. I thought maybe not because it'll still be bleeding.

Would it be helpful, though, knowing that like... Wait, wait. When women have their periods, they don't go, oh, no, I'm bleeding. That's the normal part of it. That's the part where it's like, that just happens. They go like, oh, no, I feel shitty. Right. My groin feels shitty.

Sure. You know, they don't go like, oh, my God, somebody stop this blood. But isn't some of it the enormous. I know it sounds that hurtful, but it's kind of feeling, it's almost like swamp ass where, like, you have, like, fucking, like, you feel it running down you, and it's just like, ah, it's just kind of that kind of general awareness, the awareness of your vagina that you have in that moment is just like, oh, like, it doesn't hurt, be like, you know you're leaking into it into whatever a pad or whatever, and it's just kind of like, it just becomes your everything for that moment, right, or that time, right? I can imagine. I don't like having Swamp Bay. So it's like imagine that, but it's just like a stream of swan. It's just terrible.

So yeah, num it up, right? Let's get a hook and just rub it in all over the place. I would buy it. I feel like your target, your target buyer is a woman who has no idea what periods are. gets one and flips the fuck out every time. Plenty of women, you know, make a big deal by the periods. And that's our target market. We get this.

We get this. This is for the man who dates the woman who's a little hysterical about periods. And they're out there. Just people go, oh, my friend. They're using the excuse to tell you why everything's wrong about you. And that's not you. That's not most women. I just feel like this is bad fate actors after her.

And all walks of life. And they'll use their periods against you. And this is for those men. We're really, we're praying on the men and go, maybe this will solve my problems. Now the guy's probably a dope. The guy probably like tries together like, you know,

to come to ball games when she's on a period and she doesn't want to. And that's why she's crabby. This is so much worse than deceiving childbirthing women or aiding secret bleacher rape. What is? This new iteration of the product. No, no, because the guy, it's not the woman's fault, right? Like, she's gotten, she's gotten into this loop, I feel like.

You're just, you just want, now you're just banking in on the stigmatization of period. No, because these guys are dope. You're like the opposite of that, that Japanese guy who invented the tampon. No, no, no. I mean, I think it would help. You said it would help. I asked you at first of it would help. But I'm saying it was sounding to the guy, because they're, you know,

They're just desperate because they can't even think to be like maybe I'll just buyer a rose. Right? Like, you know, they can't, they can't buy some cookie dough ice cream and make everything better. They're too stupid. So they'll buy our butter. What are you looking up, Earl? I was trying to figure out who I was thinking of. Oh.

I may have just made that up. I've heard the, well, you've told me this story before, actually. Yeah, maybe this whole thing's been getting, maybe, maybe just some fucking. American Dow Chemical made a tampon. You've told me before the legend of a Japanese man who invented the tampon. I'm probably right on. So I'm probably wrong on a lot of levels, but right where it counts. Sure.

Just like a numb butter. Just like numb butter. Wrong on a lot of levels, but right where it counts. Right. Stick it inside you. It's got his coat. Look, it looks like a co-hanger, but it's not. Okay.

That first third one is the commercial. The first hurdle you have to get over Is thinking there's a coat hanger inside you It's just a hook we use Because we don't want you having to fish around for it But it's not a coat hanger Don't think about abortions It's got nothing to do with that

I think we fixed it I think you need to be in the commercial with me Okay So Joe Montana is out Well he's also there But you know Before I bring on I got some

Some football men's football boys here that you like, the people out there like, but I think it's important that we have Lucy here for a minute just to, you know, she wouldn't be here. To clarify, I have nothing to do with this product. If this thing was a problem, she wouldn't be here. I think that's clear. You wouldn't stake your reputation on hum butter with the handle,

the not abortion handle, if this problem. No, and I'm not. going to stay as far away from this product as you can. You were the one who's trying to push me to make it. I wanted to wipe this off the wreck and the slate a month and an hour ago. You were like, no, we need the money. We need, what about the money? All right, well, that was a weird one.

It's been a wild ride. We might make, should we make t-shirts? is it in numbedder t-shirts? Is that cross the line? I mean, reach out in the comments if you would be interested in getting a numb butter,

it'll be like those, like you see lacrosse players they have sex wax. They call it sex, or the surfing thing. There's lax wax wax for the lacrosse players, sex wax for the servers, but they have the t-shirts,

they like it, but it was numb butter. Established 201. All right. You've changed your handle on the social media. Yeah. You can find me on Twitter

at Lucy Rohan. Lucy underscore Rohan. Rohan. Perfect. You can follow me on Twitter, Instagram. I'm Ray Kump. Signed for the Patreon. If you like, get an extra episode of $5 to hear you get an extra episode every week.

We have the comp dump tier We get a video episode every month That's a much more But whatever But you know $5 you get four episodes Whatever an extra episode a week People love it

You don't go out there What we got to do you get this free You do what you want You don't have to buy none butter You don't have to do the Patreon It's out there Yeah so just Start to

And then we'll Have a great Have a great week Enjoy Thank you.