Kump - 70 - Rest in Kump

Episode Date: April 12, 2021

Ray and Lucie talk about the death of Ray's hero, DMX, and Ray's nemesis, Prince Philip. Plus, they investigate the career of the notorious Scott Rudin.

Hello and welcome to Kump. Crazy day, crazy few days. Big week. Big week. When was it? Was it Friday? It was Friday the day that my, Both my nemesis and my hero died in the same day. Which one's your nemesis and which one's your hero? Prince Philip, the Duke of, what is he, Duke of Edinburgh? Nemesis. DMX, hero.

I think. Was DMX a naughty boy? Was he do things? No, I don't think he was, I think he struggled with drug addiction, but I don't think that makes me bad. That's hero material. That's fine. I want to make sure he didn't, like, rape a lot.

11 women. No, I don't. Okay, good. No. You never know with musicians in general. Bob Dylan, I don't trust. I'm waiting for his Woody Allen moment personally, but I have no information. I just don't, that gimmick, that gimmick don't seem natural to me.

Hello. We used to do a bit called pedophile Bob Dylan. Yes. Famously. Yeah, famously. And so DMX is clean. As far as I know I mean, you know, it's a...

So he's dead. I get it. You're sad. You know, Prince Philip, the dirty Duke of Edinburgh. He's gone. He's done. It's one man.

Imagine they're together. Imagine they switched places. I'm going to rule the common wealth. Up in here. Up in here. I'm going to say some racist shit. Up in here. Up in here.

I'm going to cheat on my... My young wife, up in here, up in here. I'm going to, I won't care of my great-granddaughter takes her life up in here. That's Megan Markle, apparently. Now if he asked Pierce Morgan with everyone else. Yeah, I would hate to be the person trying to wrangle people into not finding his death funny. Right. I would hate to be the person who didn't find this unambiguously funny.

That man should have lived for 120. I mean, if you watched the crowd, he did some things. He didn't understand this on Charles because he was a weak boy, it seemed, the implication. Because Charles didn't build a fucking, what he built in that show? Charles didn't build a little fence out of stone once his parents died in a plane crash that he caused. I don't know. He didn't want to be a military boy. He didn't get caught up in some dentist's orgy.

Prince Philip. the orgy king of Liverpool. God rest his soul. He was really, I don't think I've ever seen a person who looked so old. He is like, they base Skeletor on that guy.

He's like Skeletor with a sack of skin and like just glued onto him. He just glued skin onto a skeleton and then made him, well, it's not clear if he was, the show made him seem racist. Do we know for, if the show was just making that up or like, oh, do they just guess?

I didn't even think the show made him seem like particularly rich. Well, he went to some British, like, uh... He was ignorant. He went to some African, like, president or king and said, hey, I got the same metal. Where did you get that? You steal? He didn't say something like you steal that?

Oh, yeah. He did say something pretty fucked up to the guy. Where did you steal that medal of honor from? But I wasn't sure if that was just a moment to give Queen Elizabeth, like, the save. Like, he's a king. you know it's like so it shows how i mean i don't give elizabeth that much credit for being like hey don't accuse their president of stealing the medal of honor that we awarded him for fighting wars for us it's the commonwealth they they they part their forces fight wars on our

behalf so we don't have to lose people don't piss them off don't accuse him of being a thief that's not that's not exactly woke in my opinion it's just like common yeah that's true Lizzie doesn't get, you know, credit for being a fucking, you know, she's not. That's just like a reasonably self-interested level of not being racist. She's not Harriet Tubman because she fucking told him, don't call him a thief. But he's dead now, so he can't accuse any more black presidents of being thieves. You think he accused Obama of being a thief when he came to the, when he came to the Bahman Palace? Where did you just steal that suit from?

Oh, I thought it was the medal. You just accused black people of stealing a little time. You're a bad person. I feel like the show didn't even make so much hate. The way I found out that Prince Philip is famously racist was, was RIP famously racist, was from watching British television. Like British comedies would make jokes about it. Oh, really?

Like that British panel show we watch all the time. They're always making jokes about it. Oh, really? It just seems like a known quantity at this point. Like, you know, it's like. Oh, there's that racist joke in the original office that like David Brink gets in trouble over, like, the, the, it's the bigger than the bed basket or whatever, but it was Prince Philip telling the joke.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So famous racist, Prince Philip is dead. My nemesis, I famously sent him a lot. Not, I mean, do you call it hate, there's a negative connotation to hate mail nowadays because of, like, school shooters and, like, in cells. But, like, you know, like, I'm not the one sending, you know, hate mail to the girl

who played Rose Tico in Star Wars. was the last Jedi, who was famously abused. Right. I wasn't going after Leslie Jones for her take on the Lady Ghostbuster movie. I wasn't doing that. Sure. I just sent Prince Philip voluminous letters urging him to jump off the Tower of London to... Man, we should read these on air sometime.

Well, I didn't keep a copy. Are they beautifully written? I think so. Hey, rat. Hey, King of the Rats. Oh, you're, oh, excuse me, you're just Prince of the Rats, Duke of the shit. And, yeah, so, yeah, yes, beautifully written. I agree.

We don't want to overly stigmatize hate mail directed at people who have power over people. I think you're the worst. Just a real, real Duke of nothing. They hate Duke of nothing. Why don't you duke my dick? And, yeah. Do you think it changed his mind? I mean, he might have stopped.

He might resist, like, what you call it, refused treatment. Mm. I might be responsible for, I mean, it's possible. He was my nemesis. Whatever kind of medical treatment he was receiving. Yeah. Towards the end of his life. I feel like it needs to be classified as, like, elder abuse.

Like, he was 100 years old. Like, it's like, there's something, there's got to be something immoral about keeping someone alive until their skin turns into soup. Yeah, like, his blood was just, like, like goopy Like goopy blood They like they like gave him AIDS to somehow fight the

The old age thing To fight the Ebola At some at a certain point AIDS helps you But not But it doesn't look great Unlike DMX Who's just you know

Taking what was it heroin Or Coke What was you Petinol What was he into? Yeah I'm sure just you know They never distinguish Me uppers and downers

When people die I mean I don't mind you're, you know, you die of a drug abuse. But I'm just curious. Operates downers. Can I relate to you? I don't like opiates. I try, you know, I got a two thing once.

I had some Vicodin. Wasn't my thing. Yeah. You give me a little fucking, you give me some fucking, uh... How does it feel? I've never actually had Vicodon. People say it's like being in the womb. I don't like being in the womb.

I don't be in a fucking womb. Oh. I want to feel like I'm bursting out of the way. Why is no one? Why is like, oh, Jimmy Hendrix. Oh, I like being in the womb. in the womb oh he's a badass but it's like you just like being me a mommy why is that tough it's like people who want it's like people who have sex a lot and it's like oh you're tough oh look I feel good

all the time like like like die hard is a tough guy right right well isn't die hard just running on glass of bare feet and fighting Russian ballerinas with machine guns tough you know why is it also like oh this guy I mean not people don't say you're tough if you fuck a lot but there's this manhood thing supposedly this virulness and it's like oh i like feeling good in my dick where's that you know i want someone who doesn't why why aren't eunuchs or people who don't fuck i'm not trying to promote incels here that's the problem you it ruined everything i would had a great rant about how about you don't fuck women or men and you keep your come to yourself but i sound like an inso ruined i'm ruined but i was born like an anti-encel well yeah but i mean but

that should be, but they've monopolized to keeping the come to yourself. Sure. You know? You've been introducing me to a lot of action movies. Do a lot of insults or so. Just my friend Bob. He thinks you're a tease.

And I was surprised when you started showing them to me at how like... The action movies. Yeah. And how like scared the men are during the action movie. Because I always imagine action movies as being these like, kind of like unrealistically tough men but it's really like scared men who learn how to well there's different levels there's a die hard like die hard is a seminal uh moment in film history action movies because everything after that became die hard on the i mean speed

was die hard on the bus right um other things every pitch was die hard on this die hard on that and uh the idea of putting an every man because before that leading up to that the 80s were full of They're not my favorite sound. I'm not sitting there showing them to you. But they're Stallone and Cobra. You know, that dumb movie. And there's Stallone and all sorts of other shit and Schwarzenegger, in much, you know, like, Commando.

Right. Which is not realistic. And he's just, you know, some giant Austrian ex-man. Well, I don't want to accuse him. Whatever. He did what he did to become the best of bodybuilding. If he had to fucking do some deeds, I'm not going to go slander the man,

the former governor of Austria or California. or California Whatever, yeah Great man I mean perfect body Yeah You can't so But Bruce Willis doesn't have that kind of ability

To you know Engage with stuff with old men With rich old men So he has to fight You know with glass in his feet Right You know what I'm saying Mm-hmm

Sure You know what you know Hitting that right Glass in his feet I'm just saying like you know Schwartz's like you'll get that body Just by fucking heating Cheetos, you know?

You know what I'm moving on. I'm not looking to get into a fucking feud with the Schwarzenegger clan. Doesn't he eat like 12 chicken breasts a day? I don't think he's... Well, he's also eating something else possible. Maybe he ain't just chicken breast, all right? Well, at least it wasn't. Don't be naive.

All right? You don't think Timothy Shalame would love to add a few pounds of a peck on? Probably wouldn't. No. The worst. Yeah, I think he's branded as a... A waif, very intentionally. I don't like the waif thing.

What happened to them? I don't even care if you're a man. I mean, that Brianna of Tar from the Game of Thrones, the Christian, whatever, or Wendland Pierce, whatever. Terrible in the start, but not her fault for the Star Wars thing. But she's good in the, and in the last season, the Game of Thrones, she's like fucking Jamie Landerster for no reason. Not her fault.

Yeah. But, you know, like, I put her in an action movie. Why not? Sure. I don't care. I just want physically imposing people. I don't need waifs floating around, you know, like the fucking thing. And what's the thing in Forrest Gump?

Is it a feather? Oh, yeah, the feather in the wind. Some fucking chocolate feather in the wind. Lennon's a mentally questionable. He's like not handicapped, but he is. It's fine. But like if you're going to be mentally handicapped, why don't you at least say so? Give these people some credit.

It's like, oh, look, this guy's judgment. Just above the IQ level of, what do you call it now? It's not retardate. It's mentally disabled. Right. But like, so that's like a nice message to give to the handicapped, right? Or the mentally disabled. Oh, if you were just a few points above, you could maybe meet Nixon and cause Watergate.

Have you fucking get Lieutenant Dan's legs cut off in a fucking Vietnam accident. But too bad, go fucking, whatever they make them do. I don't know if they do these people anymore. Right. Sad. Why don't I just make him rain man, but doing stuff? You know? Sure.

I mean, he had autism, I guess, but whatever. You know, I made a movie about a guy who was like, you know, handicapped, but he's doing great things. Would I be seen as a villain? I want to have them fucking women and like, if I made a movie about a handicapped guy like as an action hero, I feel like I would somehow be seen as a villain. But that's positive. if he can save the world, why not?

Yeah, that's true. But they would say it's exploitive and I'd say, well, that's on you because I don't laugh when I watch this. And I wouldn't. I mean, you put a guy, why not like a movie that's a mentally handicapped guy

stopping 9-11, at least one of the planes. I would watch it. And he's saying, let's roll in the way that he would. Yeah. And if it sounds different, that's on you, you're laughing.

I'm not making it funny. You mean, you make these, you make zero dark dirty. That's complete fiction. Why can I make mentally handicapped men or women or gender non-binary mentally handicapped people saving the world in action films? I don't think you're giving credit to how actually profitable this idea would be for you. I should keep my mouth shut and just do it.

You're acting like people wouldn't make this. Right? Wouldn't immediately make it. I feel like, but why aren't they that? Why is, like, I'm all for, let's have a picnic and everyone's equal. and everyone gets a seat at the table, everyone gets to eat some of the chicken, right? At the picnic, at the fucking equality picnic.

Okay, but let's make them good. Why are we making them good? Why are we making cool shit that, like, people who haven't been represented before get to represent? But mentally handicapped people, you can't, oh, you can't put them in porn. I get that.

I'm not asking to. To be fair, I think there are maybe other ways to give representation to the mentally handicapped. that isn't like an outlandish situation. You know, it's like you could show them hanging out. No, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to make a movie where they were doing things they wouldn't, they're not going to be planning. It's not going to make the rock where they're like, you know, we have to figure out how

to get into Alcatraz through the fucking furnaces. It's not going to be, Sean Connery is not going to be replaced by a mentally handicapped. No, no, he was an S-A-S officer from the 60s and like MI5 or whatever to fuck, and he knew he escaped from the goddamn place. No, no, that's a little too complicated. I'm not going to make it. I'm just saying a guy who, like, fight. He gets sick of taking shit

And he fights back You know They try to put him in a hostage situation And he just starts fucking punching people And now he's got a gun Right You better watch the fuck out now What he can't shoot

Half these cops are shooting kids What's a difference If he shoots a couple of straight people Yes, so the cops What's the difference? Why am I the guy the villain? Why is he the villain? He's just a guy.

He's not even trained. I mean, yeah, he shot a kid, but it was a mistake. At least it wasn't because he was black. Right? It was just, he has an excuse, but he also shot the terrorists. So we get him a fucking little bit of leeway, all right? We start, you know. Look, the issue here is not that a mentally handicapped person is the hero of your story.

Right. The issue, as it is always, is that you think guns are a panacea for every single problem. You can't stop a bad guy with a gun without a mentally handicapped good guy with a gun, all right? It's just impossible. What are you going to do? You're going to fucking, he's going to bring out a fucking parachute or fucking, you know, we're parasol? You want to get my mentally handicapped friend the parasol? Those those, those, those umbrellas that the people in the South, there's racist in the South would fucking wear and carry around while they fucking perpetuated slavery.

And you want that to be his weapon? No, he gets a gun. All right. Maybe we have an arc where he starts out with a parasol, indicating that he's a southern... Don't make a clown of him. And then he grows to realize that that's wrong. He can start a knife. And so he gets a gun.

Knife, man. That's, that'd be stupid. This is why no one does it. It seems so intuitive to me. But all you people who are so much more woke or whatever, which I'm not like, but you got to all like, oh, we've seen more. Yeah, yeah. But you're giving them parasols.

You fucking, like, he, like, they're not that, like, they're not that, like, wouldn't do that they wouldn't see a guy for a gun and think maybe i'll get a lady's umbrella and attack him with that no he'd grab a knife at least i give him more credit than that he's not grabbing a parasol to fight a terrorist he may he may not fucking be goodwill hunting but he's got value he's a man or a woman or non-binary it's don't you think it's going to be a little bit flat if he's just automatically virtuous and he has a gun don't you think that don't you think that maybe you should start out somewhere where he has to grow? Who said he was automatically virtuous?

He's a guy. You know, he's not like George. John McLean, you know, his wife didn't leave him because he was the best man in the world. You know, he wasn't great. He would look at heat, but Chino and heat. You know, he's not good at marriage. He's got faults. This guy's got faults.

Just because he's been going to, he doesn't mean he's a fucking, you know, everything's great. Maybe he's fucking, it doesn't get along with his brother or his mother or his fucking teachers. And maybe he shot him. I don't know. whatever we don't we don't have to mince words we can give him we can give him the hero cycle we can give him the joseph campbell treatment doesn't matter but we're not giving them a parasol out of the question um was there anything else about prince philip we can never stay on a subject Well, that's the term of the show.

I mean, it is really. It's what I love about the show. It's just amazing how it organically happens every single time. Why don't you listen to some other podcasts with some fucking, they stay on topic talking about, you know, how many, they dose women. What we do? I'm sorry I don't stay on topic being like, remember who when we fucking fuck that drunk chick?

And then cry for two hours under the downfall of their rapist friends. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I don't pronounce Pakistan correctly. There's another big. You know who I'm talking about. Fuck him.

I never met him. Why were I? There's another big thing. Is it Pakistan? Is it how you pronounce it? He'd always say it that way. I mean, I feel like I know a lot of bad Pakistan and Afghanistan. Or enough for a person of my, you know, influence in the world.

Sure. I'm an expert. I don't say it in some weird, pretentious way. No. Does that make me the villain? That plus my movie that I want to make? Moving on. There is a big thing happening right now.

Yes. We've been talking about it all day. Yes. Hollywood is a lit. Controversy. Controversy. This time, not particularly sexual. No.

We're sexual at all. This is a man. Oh, you know, sorry to give it away, but a man who seemed to have dodged the Me Too movement in Hollywood, unscathed. For some reason, when I read the article, it didn't point this out, but, you know, it was pointed out in the headline. You read one where it's a famous gay producer. The exact headline is gay entertainment mogul, Scott Rudin, is monster. I don't know why that matters. I don't know what that even is for.

Who's, whose headline was that? This is the advocate. Oh, okay. Well, okay. So they're just, they're just tying it into why they're,

isn't that gay magazine? Oh, is it? I think so, right? Oh, okay. That would make more sense. Or gay newspaper? That's you. They get the past.

I was about it's going to rant about it doesn't, you can be a monster, but it doesn't matter. You know, gay people can be monsters. It's fine. But you don't have to, like, bring up the fact that they're gay. Right.

You wouldn't say like, you know, gay, like, gay serial killers like that's not really the like you know unless you call panser him it's not really descriptive right and even if you call panser i think he was you know we've talked about carl panser you're kind of burying the lead scott rudin right mr scott rudin famous producer i don't people know scott rudin by name i've noticed his name for years uh i didn't know you look like that that matters uh you can look him up whatever um he's a a little more i i'm

I always pictured kind of a guy, because this is a guy who, I mean, did no country for all men. Every movie can think of. Famous, he's like, you would think he's like one of three producers in Hollywood.

Maybe he is. Because like, I would see his name in every West Anderson movie. And every fucking like, you know, he might have worked with, do you work with Quentin Tarantino at all? I didn't see any Quentin Tarantino movies.

He's behind Lady Bird. Behind Lady Bird, behind No Country for Old Men. He did the, he produced the Aaron Sorkin Broadway remake of To Kill a Mockenberg, which Lucy got me tickets to for my birthday a couple years ago. Fantastic gift.

Thank you, Lucy. Of course. I didn't know that you got me tickets to a monster's ball, if we will. Yeah, but this is a guy. So I read the article. One of the first anecdotes is that on Halloween... Halloween. What do I just do?

Halloween. On Halloween. On Halloween a couple years ago. Jesus. Uh, that's going to throw me off all this. Do you think maybe the Pakistan thing, subconsciously planted in your brain? Maybe fucking Brian Callan's coming from the grave.

Halloween. Fucking Brian Callan. Fuck him. Um, yeah, I said it. We're going to start a radio war? Let's do it.

Let's do it. Just, Jocktober. It's Brian Callan. Uh, whatever. Halloween. Is it right? Yes.

A couple years ago. he, I guess the assistant or one of the assistants in his office, I believe in New York City, must have done something. I don't want a victim blame, but probably did something wrong, technically. Yeah. And he smashed an Apple monitor on his hand. They specified an Apple monitor. Those things are kind of heavier than regular monitors.

Look, we have a monitor here with the logo. That's lighter than I used to have an Apple monitor at one point. They were pretty heavy. I don't know if there still are, but they seem like you're denser. so break your hand maybe he had to go to the hospital this kid so that's one thing

I imagine it would hurt your hand yeah yeah I mean that one might but I mean this guy knew which monitor to pick is my point right not an amateur no you don't produce no country rule of men if you don't have break an assistant's hand so we did that with so many other anecdotes

he sent an HR representative not on purpose I guess but they had to go home in the hospital or go to the hospital and an ambulance because he drew a glass bowl at the wall in the conference room. He, I love,

I mean, honestly, he's a monster, right? He's a bad guy. They say, but then listen to this. All right,

I don't know. Not everything is good, but so some fucking, this assistant comes up, and you know, 824, by the way, just to include you,

they're an indie, a big indie studio production company. They made uncut of gems and all those staff. F-D movies, and they're big, they're hot. So he tells them, hey, he goes to the fucking break room, I guess. He goes, hey, the people from A-24 are in the elevator coming up. I don't know what they're here for.

No one told me that A-24 was on my schedule, and he throws a potato in this guy's head and says, go find out what they're here for, and get me a new potato. Here's the thing. I imagine that potato was like a baked potato or something. I don't think it was just like a raw potato. I mean, this guy might just chew raw potatoes. That he keeps a purse full of raw potatoes. And just chomps on them like apples?

For discipline. Oh. Specifically for discipline. I think he's even better if he's like chomping on a potato and throws it at. You're going to bake that for you? Shut the fuck up. Soft potato. pieces go flying everywhere. Yeah.

Well, that's only if it's a baked potato. What? That's only if it's a baked potato. Yeah. Well, what other kind of potato would he have? An unbaked potato. An unbaked potato. Yeah. There's no soft. That's not soft. Oh, in your mind, he's chomping on a raw potato.

Yes. That's what makes it noble. That's great. That's a great man. In that context. Not everything. I feel like, unfortunately. Unfortunately, like people who fly into rage fits.

Yeah. And I'm sure this guy is a monster, right? But people who fly into rage fits, I feel like they're more relatable on some level than like sexual predators or something. Yeah. Because everybody has rage inside of them. Sure, but you punch a wall. Right.

You don't fucking, I mean, like, I don't know. That's why I'm never going to be like a Hollywood producer because I would just, I'm not like trying to be the toughest guy ever. But this guy, I mean, look, if I was Schwarzenegger were doing to this, with his fucking, you know, 12 chicken breast of day pecks coming at me, throwing potatoes at me, I might be like, I'm just going to quit. I don't know. But this guy, I mean, how tall, did they show his height?

They don't have his height here. I don't know. He's like a fucking old man. He's like 70. If he's throwing a potato at me, I'm like, well, you're just yelling at me. I'm like, I just look laughing at him. That's true.

Why do all these guys just have the exact same look? Because that's, because, look, the guys who look like Don Draper don't need to get mad. Women fucked them. And, like, or Ben, in his case, he's a gay man. So, like, you know, men, hot men fuck him for no reason. Right. Just because he's hot, but he's not hot. And he's got, got, and he's got, and the testosterone makes you bald.

That's true. Yeah. That's where it can. And he's got beaty glasses because he's fucking, you know, he's got, I don't know, just get contact. Why are you wearing glasses? Fucking, you know, because he's fucking, he's just a rage boy. He looks like Harvey Weinstein, but like, you know, like a little bit better groomed.

Right. It is great to imagine him Like employing these horrible abusive tactics While they're working on like fantastic Mr. Fox Exactly Fucking fucking fucking world And mom's like You get me that goddamn vintage Max Botch car

And then the fucking copy of a fucking stupid story book Or I'll cut your tits off and staple him to your dick You better get me the fucking Quirkiest prom dress for this lady birdie Or I'm going to fucking rape you till you're dead. You piece of shit. This is Julia and Julia. Do you know how fucking...

That's the wrong goddamn sleight knife. I'm going to fucking... I'm going to kill your mother. I'm going to fuck it so hard. These fucking... Vam for me while I fix my headphones. Because it's just strange. Because he is behind, like, all of the...

these sort of like 21st century gentler movie type things lady bird julie and julia clueless clueless um you know famous adaptation got that goddamn Gucci dress she's not just a dumb horse she's precocious we got to communicate that you fucking you're gonna get a fucking potato in the face if you don't appreciate the layers of this movie i'm gonna cut off my own dick if you don't Seuss her hair. Is that I think suicing hair? Seussing? By that also soon?

I don't know. Maybe. You might know better than me. Why? I don't know if you're well-groomed, generally. I'm not. I look like this guy. He let him go.

He's a social network. Oh, that's right. He did do the social network. What's that one on the bottom right there? Me, that meet you and DePri? what Greenberg Oh yeah Greenberg That movie sucks

Yeah Fucking hate Greenberg It's kind of movie Kids in Brooklyn I'm supposed to get a fucking Who did that fucking No Bombback Um I think that one was no bomb back

Um I think that one was no bum back Yes he did He just squit in the whale? Yeah I'm not sure That kids come in the library It's in viscosity enough

I need more viscous cum in the library Did they've seen that? movie squid and aware where the kid, I mean, he's going through a divorce, I guess that's an excuse. Are we letting that, is that like an acceptable excuse to fucking, you know,

all my parents are getting divorced. I'm just going to come in my hands and then like, jerk up in the library and come and drag my come on the fucking library book. It seemed like they absolved them for like, you know that. Yeah, well, I think it's like, you know, it's made by this guy, right? It's like when you make movie,

like upper middle class, uh, metropolitan people make movies about upper middle class metropolitan people so it's like yeah you know it's like unfortunately like yeah it's like it's all kind of really you're saying the upper class are just coming all over my library books every time i fucking take out a copy of harry potter and the sorcerer stones just got a fucking vanderbilt's come all over it i don't actually read harry potter by the way i read the first couple i was trying to fuck a woman once and she liked harry potter but not lucy um but i don't i'm not i don't vouch for harry potter

no me neither uh grow up read a fucking you know read nietzsche or something i thought you were going to say proust again i was like i've somebody had blanked on pruss i said nietzsche the wrong it's nietzsche um what else did this guy produce or giling limited every like goddamn russ henderson movie yeah he did uh so what's what's gonna happen they're not work with him anymore what these people seem like rats i mean look no one should I don't know. Look, rape's not cool, right?

No. It's not cool. As we've taken that position many times. I'm pretty consistent in my don't rape ever. Yeah. Campaign. Sure.

My campaign I have. If I was ever on Celebrity Jeopardy, it's like, who were you here for by stopping rape? A noble, but clearly an effective campaign. Don't rape ever. And I think that's the charity? I mean, it's just my thing. I mean, I'll take the money and we'll figure it out.

Just give me the money. I'll give it a woman. Just give me the money, Alex. We're not Alex anymore. Stupid Aaron Rogers. This dumb quarterback's going to, like, question me about my rape survivor's charity. Why don't you go win another Super Bowl? Oh, I don't look to take things too seriously.

Yeah, you know who does? Tom Brady. So why don't you go fuck yourself football boy? Give me the money. I'll give it. Give it. So Aaron Rogers is funding this? Well, he's hosting the Jeopardy.

Oh, oh, you're going to win. for them. Yeah, but I'm saying, they wouldn't be a formal charity. You're not following my whole grant here. You lost the threat here. I'm sorry. You got to pay attention to come.

Would you, I mean, I don't know. It's like, if this is a problem? Because these people are all going on to like successful careers. Maybe that's the guy

who got his hand smashed. A lot of these people have successful careers. Yeah. Are these kids just rats, is my point. Not kids. They're adults. Yeah.

I mean, look, it's a... If he starts raping people, then we say maybe not, but you want to throw a potato. I mean, apparently the guy dodged the potato. So how... This guy's not like Randy Jackson from the... Is there Randy Jackson? The pitcher.

From the, you know, the tall pitcher. What did he do? It's a pitcher. But what did he... Oh, you're saying he doesn't have that force. Right. Yeah. Just a fucking old, feeble old angry guy.

He throwing a potato on me. He's a dumpy man. He's probably lobbing the potato. Yeah. Oh, he threw a potato. Just let him throw a potato. I don't you throw a potato back. That's what I would do.

Sure. I once had a friend who was a, I don't know what you call. He was in a wheelchair and he couldn't move his any limbs. It was like a motorized wheelchair. We're in a chess club together. And he got mad because I'd be in my chest and I eat like, throw a piece. I mean, like, fuck you. What I didn't mean to say it like that.

Whatever. And like I just threw it back at him. Because that's what you do. You treat people like their people. right right you establish expectations i didn't hate them i just don't the stories need to be here i'm saying you throw the potato back at the guy look i think maybe the the person who got the the mac computer on the hand maybe has a legitimate complaint yeah right like it's like you know i get a hostile working i mean it's like it's hard for me i'm just being vulnerable here it's hard for me to go along with

because, like, I know there are worse things that could happen in a person's life than, like, you know, having... You know, I've had bosses who are volatile or whatever. Right. And it's like, you know, I just know there's worse things in life. Yeah. But, like...

But, like... But also, I don't know. Maybe people should expect to not get potatoes thrown at them. I don't know. How are you going to win the Iraq war if you can't take a potato to the head? How are you going to... How are you going to fucking torture guys?

I don't move great, but you can't even throw... Dodge a potato. This country's going to the shit. Well, that's the thing. I think the best argument against that kind of shit is that it's like, you're not fighting away. You're making Lady Bird.

Yeah. So maybe relax, you know. I don't know. It was fine. It wasn't a perfect film. Well, yeah, because maybe he was fucking in him. Maybe he should have hit Charlemagne with a potato. He could have acted better.

That's the problem. Maybe start hitting the actors. You know, West Anderson, you know, he's on top of shit. He don't need fucking potato heads. Sure. But fucking Shalamey. You see Salomey in the middle of a fucking Weston Anderson movie? Not yet.

If he does, I'll be mad. Well, well, well, Shalemay is going to be in the French Dispatch. Oh, God. Who likes this guy? Who is he for? He's not good. Not really, right?

No. He was terrible in the fucking movie we watched. I mean, the whole movie was bad. The one that was, the one that was done by the woman who I accidentally checked, body checked while I was getting morning cheese. Who was that woman?

Greta Gerwig. Greta Gerwig. I love that. That's how you know her. Well, we went to a screening of, it was Lady Bird, right? Yeah, it was a screening. Like, I thought Lady Bird was fine.

I didn't hate it. I liked how she jumped out of the car in the first few minutes. Yeah. Like, oh, this is dynamic. It could be better. It could have more jumping out of cars. I thought it was going to be a movie about, like, you know,

like those movies where, like, we curved a bullet when we shoot. Oh, well, we jump out of cars. And this is the maze runner. But our thing is the jumping out of cars. Sure. And then we run. You keep to get the car's momentum

And you're running like a spous in the car For a few minutes And you punch a car Because of kinetic energy None of that was in Ladyburg It was a bait and switch But that being said So we went and she was talking

And we were And there was a wine and cheese thing everywhere And we got drunk He just kept drinking wine And I went to get some more wine And more cheese And I think I accidentally like Knocked into a wall

And they said I was sorry And you know Um she didn't you know she she didn't like it i said i'm sorry or me i don't know i didn't do it on purpose did you catch her glaring at you after no she was nice yeah but she didn't she wasn't she wasn't like that's okay she was just kind of like like shocked and then like you know i think i said i'm sorry someone cheese and uh she wasn't like sweet about it right she could have been but she wasn't so does that make her like i'm a did that make her a big phony

Maybe. So she was coolly tolerant of the fact that you body-checked her. Right, but you're a public-facing individual. I'd take that as a sign of aggression. Which means, what reaction to you body-checking her do you think would have been appropriate? Oh, don't worry about it. It's totally fine. I hope you enjoyed the movie.

He has much wine cheese as you like. You want a picture? I would be like, no, that's cool. That's fine. I'm not a big of fan. That's like you realize you're describing like a fucked up, traumatized woman's reaction to unwanted physical content

only like a rat in a cage mentally would be like oh don't worry about maybe you're picturing thank you for body checking maybe you're picturing like that I like did like a fucking fucking Wayne Gretzky like into the wall or like me with that priest when they checked them

into the wall at school that time which I've told that story before when I body checked that priest even though I claim they didn't and they tried to expel me. This was not the pre-situation, right? No. You really didn't mean to do this.

No, at all. It wasn't that when you needed that much power. Yeah, like if I put her on the floor, if I put her on her ass, then yeah, I wouldn't expect it to be like, I would be effusive and like, oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Gerwig. You know, just this movie could have had more, you know,

car running doesn't mean that you deserve to get knocked on the floor. Right. Let me pick you up. You don't think there was a little part of you, even subconsciously. Because, you know, I'm a fan of Greta Gerwig. What are you doing? What are you implying? What are you even trying to get out?

You don't think even a little part of you was like, I don't think. Are you insane? I was getting too much mental energy to credit Gerwig. Are you insane? Are you, are you, you're fucking, you're implying that I go around, trying to target Grutter Gerwig. That's the kind of man you think I am. I would somehow feel good about like, oh, I put her on her ass.

Who cares? I mean, I don't care if it's Carrie Russell with the Americans. You know, I could probably still knock her down to it. I wouldn't. That's why it's not impressed by serial killers either. Like, oh, I killed a young woman. Or I killed a child. It's like, yeah, it's easy.

I want you go fucking, you know, go be a Navy seal and kill goat farmers or whatever or bin Laden lookalikes. At least men. Yeah. We're just tough people. Wendeland Pierce, whatever her name is. Sure.

Winla Christie. The game of drones lady. Look, that's a woman. Like, you know, she... What if there is a serial killer?

Yeah. This might be a little... But I wasn't saying... I wasn't saying, kill these people. I was saying like, you're not fighting, you're picking soft targets,

is my point. And we should be making documentaries about these people. Absolutely. And like, and gushing over the fact they, oh, this guy buried people in a planter. Who gives a shit?

Oh, it's not really that hard. If you have no compassion, it's not that hard to bury a body. Like, how many murders go unsolved in America every year? Yeah. Like, much more than half, I think. Right? For sure.

So it's like, it's not that big, the cops are on top of every murder. So the fact you got away with killing up drifting prostitute is not fucking metal of honor material. You don't get, Why isn't Prince Philip giving those guys shit? And I think that's a noble position to have. And it's a clear-eyed position to have that a lot of our culture doesn't have.

Right. But I still want to know what you think about this. What if there is a serial killer who, like exclusively, they killed women. Yeah. But they exclusively killed very, like, strong, big women. I mean, look. It would still be wrong, obviously. Look, I'm not going to, you're not going to trap me in some weird box.

I'm saying that's a good thing. Oh, look at him going after the women's, the WMBA players, for instance. But would he be scary to you? I mean, look, if he, look, I'm not going to, I'm not scared of any of them. I know, no, he wouldn't be because he's killing women. I'm not a woman. Yeah. So I wouldn't be scared.

So I'm not scared of anyone. I'm scared like Navy SEALs, maybe. You're like, look, I'm not saying zero dark dirty happened, but I think they can kill people pretty well. you know like every time i criticize the special like i used to be a nerd for this i used to like to watch the israeli special forces and be like oh i wonder who who would win in the fight israeli idf what they go the shin bet or fucking or fucking navy seals or delta force we and then i realized oh these are like forces that like you know preserve you know just like dirty capitalism

And I'm a capitalist at heart, you know, but like not corporate oligopoly, whatever. We don't fight wars for, you know, dull banana fruit, whatever the fuck is called, United Fruit. That being said, you know, they're still good at killing people. What's my point? What is my point? That they're, that I, but you don't find them scary either. No, I mean, if I pissed them off, I'd be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I don't, hey, hey, I wasn't talking about you. I tried to save face, but like, they could easily kill them.

And if it seemed like I'd gone over a line. Because these things, look, you hear these things back in the day. These guys, like, we picked these guys because they're not just tough and aggressive. They're also, like, they have self-control. And they're like, warrior poets. But I think so, if you piss them off, they might kill you. I'm not going to gamble. So I'm in a bar, and I'm just sitting there going, Navy Shields are killers.

And they're like, I'm a Navy SEAL. I'm going to, I'll be honest with you. I'm like, ah, I don't. What are you drinking? Why are you drinking, buddy? No, I was talking, you're right. I was trying to see, face. Yeah, no, I was talking a lot of shit.

You're right. I was talking a lot of shit. I might have gotten a little far. I might have gotten a little far. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I think it was implied that I'm sorry. That's what the drink was. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, no, I don't, no, I don't, I don't want to fight you. No. I mean, you can give me a gun. No, I'm just saying, if I have a gun, you have a gun, whatever. I mean, you shoot better, but whatever, it's a gun, right? All right, relax, relax.

You try to save face at least. You'll just start, wait on me, so, oh, I'm so sorry. You know what? That actually made me, I feel like you just clarified for me the concept of a duel. Because it's like, I think now they make sense to me. Because if you insult a guy like twice your size, right? And they just want to kick the shit out of you. You might be able to stall a little bit by being like,

look, let's have a duel. Let's schedule a duel. Right. Hey, you're going to miss fire. I got a chance. We both get guns. It's, you know. Anything that happened to the duel.

And then you run. You run away. Skip down. What are we talking about a serial killer now? So, no, if his man was targeting, you know, WMBA players or female Israeli, you know, special forces, or anyone tough. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what you want me to say.

I'm just saying they're not, and they wouldn't. They wouldn't. That's what do you call serial killer or does that? And it's like, I don't know, you know, call Panzeram. Right. So like if an army of Carl Panzeram started populating the world, fighting stevedores and Gwendolyn Christie, you know, it's an escalation.

We've been in trouble. I'm just yeah I don't we'd be it'd be a scary way they might be worthy of a documentary I guess but not these fucks right you know I don't want I don't want you trying to get me canceled no I was just wondering if they'd be scary to empower women I'm I because they'd be scary to me you know yeah uh well sure they if they're killing it's like like tough women I just know that you're not I'm not trying to call women who get killed by serial killers like inherently unthuff right I'm not trying to I'm not trying to I'm not trying to I'm not trying to I'm just saying there's a pattern of who these people are picking,

so I don't know why we're putting them on Discovery Channel every five seconds. Right. Yeah. It's like, you know, some guys is like, you know, drowning dogs. We fucking make a, you know, sitcom about them. Unless he's Michael Vick, then no. I definitely think, like, the proliferation of this shit has gone too far. And I like true crime.

Yeah. I like it because I feel like, I feel like there's nothing that you can really learn from it. Right. But there's stuff that I can learn from it. Like, as self-defense measures. Like, it's like, you know, you always lock your door. You don't, if a guy shows you a badge, you don't just go with them. Sure.

Because they could steal the badge. That's what Ted Bundy did. Right. Yeah. But, so, or they made a fake badge, I don't know. People say he wasn't that attractive. I didn't think he was that attractive. Yeah, it's a whole counter movement.

Stop saying he's hot. Yeah, no. It's a... I don't know. You know, I don't know why women do this. I feel like it's, to some extent, encouraged in the culture. Because it's fetishized.

There's a part of women who like the idea of it, even though they don't want it to happen. Now, I'm just saying, there's a certain population, It's like people, what reason to watch horror movies? Sure. It's titillating on some level.

Yeah. And I'm just saying be titillated by titillating things. Yeah, but it's also like. Right action movie starring mentally disabled people. Yeah. Actually, you know what you're right? We probably do need that. Yeah.

More than ever. Awesome. Aggressive fun. So what's going to have? Is Scott Rudin going to be banished from Hollywood? It doesn't seem like it actually seems like he might be like shaking it off. Like he might not get. in trouble for it right but then again i don't know like there is there's no like movement against

like general bullying of adults i feel like people like you like you get into what you get into for like you know what is this going to be like are we going to nerf are we going to as as the reddit crowd would say we're going to nerf hollywood now some people say that when it's like hey stop raping people we're going to nerve hollywood gas and couch is institution i'm just no but i'm just saying if a guy wants to throw a potato once in a while but he's making making ladybird i don't love lady burber labor he also made the fucking little women the little women because that wasn't that good i don't think he made that one yeah see see what happens when he doesn't throw potatoes you don't get you get little women um

can we get great of girl work on the show to squash the beef yeah or we're maybe you know we'll see I guess squash or not. See if we can get her to apologize to you for you body checking her? I mean, it comes to understanding that, like, you know, just have her knowledge on the air that I was fine. I did nothing wrong.

Just give me her endorsement. Can we browbeat her into endorsing me on the air? Real shot. What's the worst that could happen? It's true. I mean, it could completely backfire on us. She's a huge actress. That's the worst of going to happen, I guess.

And somehow I'm seeing. is a villain when I accidentally did this I mean to be fair all they can do is blacklisted from an industry that we're like it's already been but I don't know why I don't know what we did but it doesn't seem we're not blacklisted I feel like we should be blacklisted why do I body check about my mistake of wine cheese function I don't know I just don't think I don't expect anyone to understand us they understand us yeah the people who listen to the show understand We're understood by many people, a plurality of people. I just mean like the really sophisticated Scott Rudin's of the world.

Well, Scott Rudin, you know, wouldn't, he wouldn't get on board with me because he look at me and go, oh, he doesn't need me, he's a, but he's got to throw a potato on his own. Sure. You know, Wes Anderson, I love the guy. I'm a big fan. You wouldn't necessarily think of it. I get the criticisms of him, and I think they're a little off. I think, you know, under the service, he seems like, oh, he's just doing the same thing.

He's kind of stupid storybooky thing But he's subverting that Because he does that he's able to do this weird kind of weird darker thing I think it works I haven't seen one yet that anything works Right There's probably the least favorite But even that's interesting right

That being I love to you I'm a big fan That being said The guy doesn't seem like he has the personal ability The the metal The inner character To throw a potato with someone's head I could be totally wrong For all I know that West Anderson's out there

You know pulling knives on Bill Murray And Jason Schwartzman And you know What's her name? The black from Dr. Strange And Michael Clayton Kate Blanchett No Michael Clayton

That's not Kate Blanchett? getting West Anderson throwing a knife at her. Not saying that he doesn't do that. I'm just saying, you know, but he doesn't need that. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need that. So that's why Scott Rudin won't work with me.

He won't make my movie. He's about the mentally handicapped guy fighting back. It's just called fighting back. Or maybe, like, the subtitle over the, is that we call it subtitle or the, you know, colon, this should have happened a long time ago where you deserve this

and it's just him fighting the president sure I didn't look Is the president particularly evil in this movie? No, here's the thing You watch Die Hard 1 It's great, right? You love Die Hard 1

Die Hard 4 famously people criticize it because he's fucking launching you know motorcycles to helicopters It's stupid right And 5 he's like in Russia fighting the Russian army

What is this? So I'm gonna make the really good movie with the mentally hand again But by the time they get done with this franchise, I'm not a known quality in Hollywood. They're not going to give me, like, final cut and, like, the ability to green light the fucking,

you know, if I get a deal, I get a deal. I'm going to take a, you know, take a nice payday. I'm not going to be like, well, no, if you, I need to have veto power over the sequel or I'm, or you can go fuck yourself. No, I'm taking the money. And I'm telling you, you know, so the third or fourth movie,

yeah, he might be fighting the Secret Service, killing the president I'm sure the president will be seen as a bad guy you know simply because he's being fought against yeah I mean by context you must have done something

president must have done something deserve this people look you start fighting the president but clear present danger that president did something and it seemed bad he authorized attacks against drug dealers

they you know they didn't do it right I don't know I'm just saying Jack Ryan was mad at him So you assume he did the evil thing. Oh, he's a bad guy. So in this case, you know, mentally handicapped hero, we'll be trying to kill the president.

And he must have fucking passed the wrong law. You know? So what he gets. Secret service is going to come after me. Don't go after me. I'm not the one doing it. I just took a payday. Go to Scott Rudin, who took it over.

Scott Rudin's producing the sequels. Fucking, you know. You don't worry about losing control over the vision. of the movie that it will become... I prefer it, but what am I going to do? Turn away, you know, a nice couple million or two, whatever it's going to be. I mean, look, it's going to be like,

he's 10 grand, you know, I'm still taking it. I mean, you know, give me some money. What do you think I'm going to produce this on my own? Do you realize how bad it's going to look if I produce it on my own with my own money? It needs a certain level of class here or else people are going to call this an exploitive mess. I mean, I'm just saying you need a certain budget

with a fucking a makeup crew this kid can't be sweaty all the time you know he's got to look his best he got to look sharp I'm just saying if I do this on my own with my own money it's not going to come across well I know that I need so I need the Hollywood machine

to make this you know a nice a nice package do you think it's you know given the content yeah do you think Assuming it's made. Yeah.

You think Oscar material? I, it's a funny question. I mean, look. There are a lot of movies that deserve Oscars, don't get them. Will it give it to the... My prediction would be actor Oscar. Movie doesn't get it.

okay well yeah I'm not expecting you know it's a movie about him shooting up strip club owners so you know it's like it's a grindy movie uh I'm just thinking do we need to go is the whatever the whoa like do we need to kind of worry about the demographics of this actor do we need to make sure I'm just saying do we need to like you know we have to make sure it's an inclusive movies by sure uh we have to include a lot, you know, but the villain's got to be, everyone, the villain's got to be, you know, Scott Rudin type, the guy who looks like Scott Rudin. Right.

The hero's got to be, I don't know, he's, he is non-binary, but I don't want to, like, plaster that as like, I'm being exploitive. I mean, how do you think Scott Rudin will feel about an analog, a clear analog for himself? Well, he's not producing that. He's going to reduce the sequel. He could do whatever the fuck he wants. I mean, we're not going to, Scott Rudin's not going to pick this up.

He's only going to pick it up because he got an Oscar, because our non-binary, mentally disabled protagonist won the Oscar, right? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. He don't fucking need to have a gender declared, all right? No.

It doesn't matter. He's fighting back against strip club owners and banks. He's going to fight the banks. There's the sky. We don't ask you what any gender is. You fucking, they then, you motherfucker and he shoots them with that. I think that would be great. I think it would make a lot of people feel seen.

Yeah, you're not going to die at the hands of a man And you're not going to die at the hands of a woman either And he shoots them That's not, it needs something more though You're going to die at the hands of a person That's lame We need something Uh

You're good Suck just Suck my Suck my gun dick Zer Right Zer is a thing Yeah

It's like my gut is it's like my god Wait but how does the person How does our protagonist know that the banker Identifies as ZER That's a good point He's projecting his own non-binary status Is that offensive now Are we really gonna worry about the gender binary guy

Like isn't that part of the fun of all this That we get to fucking stick it to the binaries That's true Fuck the binary guy He's getting in the mouth I'm just saying like why not have fun make give these people a platform to like be cool like tough badass yeah totally I'm the fucking guy you need and you keep pushing me away you keep me at arm's distance you put me on a Hollywood blacklist for no reason you need me you got Scott rooting fucking dancing around

throwing potatoes of people's faces making ladybird how's that working out for you all right when are we going to sit me at the table and get me some fucking money i can live like a person and i can fucking make some real i can i could turn hollywood around oh you want woke shit we'll give you a woke shit it's a but there's going to be guns woke shit yeah i think woke sure with guns is the way violence is important to life done properly you need the hero cycle but joseph Campbell, that fucking, you know, whatever he was, white man, you can get it. He didn't understand.

Just saying, you need to fucking, you need, I feel you're going to say, no, you need to go in a room and listen to people. I'm like, all right, but, you know, I'll listen, but then we're going to bring up my movie. I'll listen first, but pitch second. How about that? The way you express your allyship is mainly by pitching movies. Yes.

Yeah. That's my skill sense. That involves a lot of guns. Well, look, people don't... Or one gun, usually. Well, you want a superhero, you want an Avengers type movie, we can do less guns. We can have, we can give this guy, you know, just handicapped kid a robot suit. Right.

They can go around, like, you know, I mean, the end of the day, it's a fucking, you know, laser cannon Tony Stark thing, or it's a gun. Do you really make a difference when you should get shot in the dick? Oh, at least it wasn't a gun that made me infertile. Now I'm dead. he's one of the gun the difference uh so male whether's your congressman or women congress non-biting or congressperson whatever make this get i want some of this infrastructure money that joe biden is um stealing from the from the rich to do it's fine i'm kidding whatever taxing the rich

fine 80% taxes okay i'm it's not affecting me i i oh, what are you a fucking scumbet? What you're worried you might get rich one day? It just seems a little weird as heck's 80%. But whatever. I'm sorry I'm not communist. I thought it was good enough.

Never enough. It's never enough, right? He's just a fucking scumbag who doesn't believe in taxing fucking small business owners to death. You fucking sk- You may have stumbled on something useful here. I mean, it might actually be better branding to call it stealing from the rich.

That sounds cool. Sure. Look, again, the commonality of all my life, I try to add levity situations, and I end up just being the best thing for whatever group happens to be watching. I could save anything, except my own life. So, this is fun.

Yeah. Where can people find you? Oh, you can follow me on Twitter at L-U-C-I-E-U-S-Rohan. And where can they find you? Dumpster. Take of my own life. you know, at Ray Kump. Sign up for the Patreon.

If you want an extra episode every week, $5, you get to you that. We also have the Kump dumped here. You got an extra video episode every month. So, you know, go to the Patreon. Go to my link in the description or my Twitter. That's an option. Enjoy your week. Have a great day.

Thank you.