Kump - 78 - Kumpstock

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

Ray and Lucie discuss going to a Met game, not listening to the elderly, and Woodstock '99. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your "I'm A Wine Princess, Bitch!" T Shirt, available for a limited time! https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to Kump. As you can see the screen behind me, it's blank, but this is Kump. Okay, uh, I got the set. There's a laptop that controls this, right? It's not, I didn't have someone make a sign that was etched out of, you know, Elvin fucking marble. That's going to get demonetized right away. You know, it's a guy, it's a computer screen.

You can see. And it's not, nothing in my life works except Batman. So. When is this going to stop? We'll get to that. And never. Never. Never.

And we'll get to that. This is great. yeah so we're moving on we're doing it live uh welcome to the show lucy hello everyone's happy to see you people have thought you know you we don't know that yet well i'm sure they they think you would have been chopped up in my basement or whatever you wish they're happy to see i'm okay let's hope now they're gonna be like oh there was a gun to her head there was a gun you know with a rope tied to the trigger off camera no one believes me anymore But, you know, Joel to have you here.

Mm. Mm. And when we talk about it, we're on a Patreon this week. Yeah. We're not discussing the project. That's her project. It's not a goddamn business until it's ready to be there for you to pay for it, all right? We're not here to, like, we're not going to hear of workshop Lucy's project with a bunch of random people.

I'm sure some of you are, you know, are skilled beer funnelsers. Or is that the word? where you funnel beer of a radiator and your kid cries in the other room that doesn't help in this situation it's noble but it doesn't help I changed my hat at first I changed my shirt

now I have a new hat I don't even know where it's all the time on the show but it's a Met hat we got back into the Mets we've been uh we're Mets fans now you excited about that Lucy don't think she's doing it to please me

she was a Mets fan you were actually kind of annoyed You're not like you're not being like a witch about it But you know when I was playing the NBA during the player obviously like I like baseball Yeah And I always say that I always try to offer that as a concession But it's kind of a shitty concession nowadays Baseball?

So a lot of people don't even register baseball as a sport anymore I think I mean it's the uniforms Like nothing is less flattering to the male physique than a baseball uniform No I mean you have to be built It's like a, like, I mean, some of these guys are built, like Greek guys. They still look kind of fat. Yeah. Something about the weight of the uniform sags.

But it makes men who were, like, yes, Cestbitus, when I first started watching the game a few years back. And, you know, Cessbitus, built like a fucking brick shit house. It looked kind of chubby. Yeah. I mean, only, like, I think the only person I've ever seen who looks good in them is, like, Conforto. He's, like, literally chiseled out of marble. Well, I don't know if Conforto is more, but it's a slug. slenderer kind of thing.

Yeah. Like, you know, he's not, if you're, if you're muscular, you look less good. Yeah. Because I don't know if Conforto was a better built man than Cespittus. Cespitus would smash Conforter's face open probably. Well, look, naked. He wouldn't. I think maybe Cespittus would look better naked.

Sure. But, like, but. We're in agreement there. But Conforto in the uniform looks great. Kifordo has a kind of the Derek Jeter body where it works. It works for that. Maybe for A-Rod. Maybe he's a little taller.

Maybe he should be taller for making it work. Maybe Cessman was a little shorter. Whatever. This is not again. Which, who would you suck off first? Michael Conforto or Ted Clemens. Ted Clemens. Who went?

Ted Williams or Roger Clemens. Yeah. So we went to a Meggany, which was exciting. We had some misadventures. You got me a little hat filled with ice cream. Well, let's, you know, do it in sequential order. that happened at the end of the night and there was a very nice cap to the

to a loss but you know still nonetheless fun but uh we go I have a backpack right first of all Lucy thought it was kind of crazy I spent uh you know I didn't cheap out in the tickets I got like a decent tickets yeah spent a little money I didn't spend $800

but you know I didn't go for the $15 tickets I used to go to when I go by myself with a little pocket radio and I didn't have any money at all I was literally like I was like oh I can 15 and like and just take a subway and like otherwise you know i can either watch the game um in my windowless room in my old apartment uh my apartment was literally a windowless room and it was so hot in the summer there was no air ac no nothing and i'm just sitting here it's like melting so i would just go to the game just to get a little breeze and uh you

go and see you can spend ten dollars and you know the seats are fine yeah but i don't you know I'm a high, I'm trying, I'm, you know, convince you I'm a high roller. I'm, I'm, I'm a big shot. So, you know, I got, we're in a 300 section, which is like, you know, in the middle. It was nice, right? Oh, yeah, it was great seats. And then I spent another $50 because I didn't think of it ahead of time, we get up for Amazon to get, like, same day delivered a Best Buy radio,

or Sony radio from Best Buy, just in case, even though I'm, this time I'm going with my girlfriend, and enjoy love, I want to make sure we have a radio so we can listen to the play-by-play announcers on AM radio. See, I'm not sure what looks more insane. Like you sitting alone listening to a little radio and watching the game all hunched over. Right. Or you with a lady. Yes.

A beautiful lady. And you have one ear open for me, but one ears for the radio. Well, I think you were confused because it wasn't on all the time. tell you when it was on but i was you know first of all when i used to go i wasn't hunched over because i just i i cheap that i got like a six dollar radio at like a dollar store and it came with like the single ear earpiece of the old-timey one but the linked it only went like like three inches so i had a shirt like this and i just have the in my pocket sticking out bulging on my pocket but then they go into my ear and i was leaning back this is great because i look i'm not the

biggest baseball expert i need someone to tell me this is a suicide flaw or, you know, a Greek, a Greek topspin pitch or whatever the hell of this going on. I don't know. And I still like to know, like, you know, sometimes you're like, you know, I think this ball's going, like, all the way to the moon, to borrow a phrase. And, like, I'm cheering like a moron. And then, like, everyone else seems to understand that as a pop-up fly. And, like, I'm just going, I don't have to go, oh. I'm like, yeah!

Oh, like, literally, it's just so like, I don't feel anything I'm cheering. Oh, I mean, to be fair, there were bigger idiots in the crowd. Like, I saw people around us who were just like, you know, like, it's a good in the, like, bottom of the ninth, the Mets were losing badly. Badly. They were playing poorly. They were still like, let's go, let's go. Yeah, there's a few types of people. There's a people.

Well, let's get to that in a second. But, yeah, because, like, we first get to the stadium. and I have this backpack with me because of the radio because I needed to bring the radio and I had the radio with an extension headphone cord and two pairs of earbuds which I got for us also and I got a, you know, a splitter

so I could set this up so we could both listen which you had wanted nothing to do with but I prepare for the eventuality that you would want to be a crazy person too and listen to the radio with me So we get to the stadium And they're telling me You can't have a backpack

Now I've been there before I brought my backpack And there was no problem And I'm like, I don't know He's telling me something about a $10 You can go some mobile truck Like they'll store your things

For $10? I wouldn't This doesn't sound free So he's like yeah And then some other people pass by With a bag And yeah you see if you had a baby You know

He could hold him with a diaper bag I'm like Oh, I'll just tell him it's a diaper bag. And he laughs. I guess he thought I was joking. But we go, you know, up to the next person who's stopping him. And she's like, you know, some young girl. And she's like, I'm sorry, you can have that bag.

It's a diaper bag. And then I didn't know if it was going to work because I wasn't like. It's clearly not a diaper bag. Clearly, well, anything's a diaper bag. It's a diaper. That's just the truism of life. This is where I keep the dirty diapers that I steal from other couples. Look

It's a diaper bag It's just not full yet But it's a diaper It's a diaper bag I just haven't found a diaper yet And But I will Mark my word

But I wasn't I really wasn't trying It's the confidence More than the But it's that kind of confidence When like There's confidence of like Actually trying to trick someone

And it's kind of go It's a diaper bag And she wasn't buying it. Yeah. She's like, all right, bringing that guy who's like going to search your bag, because you didn't say, you know, but it's basically implications. Because that opens up, if it is a diaper bag, it opens up a whole conversation that a security person

who's making $10 an hour doesn't want to have. Right. Like if you, like if you, if you end up saying like, yeah, it's not for a baby, you piece of shit. It's for my girlfriend who has weak bowels. And I'm taking care of her. I'm being a man and I'm sticking with her instead of just dumping her on the side of the road like most

men would do. You think that's the move with me and you? that you're the one wearing the diaper. That's the move that gets believed first. I need diapers. Of course, I need a diaper. Look at me. And they don't know.

It should be me, though. Because I look frailer. Like I would, I would, I would, you look like you could keep control. People, look, I have no, I don't need diapers, right? I don't, there's nothing about me. I don't shit my pants. I don't fucking leak shit out my, into my legs. It doesn't happen.

But I think the average person If I told them, hey, look, just because look at me Sometimes shit just comes out They all right, yeah, they believe it It just seems right Like it seems fine I don't think they think every fat person needs a diaper But like they'd be like, yeah, okay, that tracks

With you, it's like they have to kind of start conceptualizing like cancers, it's weird It could happen Oh, she's got Crohn's disease Or what's easier? You have Crohn's disease or look look at how I look so the guy just, you know, I go to the guy and just the act of me

go, diaper bag, and he just goes fine. Yeah. Because he's made, yeah, probably $8, whatever, $10 now. He don't give a shit. He's probably like, he's probably, they probably told him, look, you don't let people with bags in. Okay. I'm sorry, no, but except if they have a diaper bet.

And he's probably not a moron. He's like, all right, so like, if I was trying to get in, like, you know, so what if they, What if they say it's a diaper bag, but it's not? Well, you got to do it. And then they start going through a list of permutations. He's like, I'm not going to do that. Well, you can look inside the diaper, it's not.

And if the moon is half crescent, and he's just like, oh, fuck you. I'm just not going to do that. So, like, if they say it's a diaper bag, it's all I need. Right. He's just, he's just going to go, they said it's a diaper bag. Sure. So I got a way, I got it in. And then the metal detector went off, and he just says, probably your keys.

And I was like, yeah, probably. is but okay little that he know it was your gun hand i just happened with the gun hand sometimes it's just uh in in the wet weather it starts to be detected by metal detectors i don't know so i got it that was fun what happened to that yearbook you got it's on the bookcase and the entrance it was i was i just passed right by that stand because it seemed like a scam well it's a it's a same as a program i thought which I think it is a program. And the program is kind of thing I would never buy. But I was trying to be,

I was trying to be Lucy Goosey with the money. I was trying to be like, yeah, let's just, let's live it up. Let's not be cheap skates. I wanted the signal to you that this was a night out. And we're going to do it up. And like, program, yes, please, $15, nothing to me. I'm not, she's not with a cheap skate. Look at her.

She's happy. She's a happy woman. Don't think I'm taking her. gun handpoint she's not here against her will i'm whining and dying her with the metz-year book which is a dumb i look through it and i think i'm just gonna throw it out because it's literally most of it's just like ads for like you know boat rentals and like and just you know fences and like fence installation companies and like it ends just a page goes my own conforto and like he's like baton average i thought he's gonna have like you know stats it doesn't it doesn't listen

all the stats? It doesn't seem to. I didn't go too heavily into it. What the fuck? I think they really fucked me. I was going to find that old man and beat the shit out of him. Yeah, honestly. I was, I never, we never got a program.

Remember my mom telling me a story. We went to a game, I remember the Yankee games as a kid. I didn't know what was going on. But someone dropped a program on her head from an upper level. And the guy, and then she proudly tells a story like, well, you know,

the guy who was like, oh, I'll come down and get it because it smacked her pretty hard. You know, it's a fault. It's kind of a heavy book. Sure. And she's like, no, I'm keeping it, which I respect. You dropped this on my head, now I keep it. Yeah.

It's fair exchange. Go buy another program, you dumb fuck. Okay, hold on to your program. But I don't know what they call it a yearbook now, which seems lamer. Yeah. So whatever. So I bought that. Lucy wasn't impressed.

She thought it was a moron, apparently. She thought it was a real idiot. I was impressed. I mean, I didn't know that it was full of Bodads. If I had known that. But did you get a little tingle like, oh, he's, he's just, he don't give a shit. I mean, look, um, did you, do you like, the way women respond to money and power was there a little version of that?

Are you buying the Mets your book? Yeah. Well, I mean, just like, look, it's a spectrum, right? And like on the spectrum, I'm not the chief's gay who goes, $15, who could afford that? that worth the money that's just that's a that's that's a recipe for dry pussy right oh god oh $15 that'll take me you know six hours at the butcher shop to work off no does not you're telling me nothing sexual happened in your mind I hand that man my debit card I was very attractive thank you I mean I you know I wish you didn't have to do overtime at the butcher

shop because of it but you know well look like you you You have these moments. You work your ass off to have these moments, these nice days. You don't think about the fact that, you know, that could feed our kid for like, you know, how much kid food can you buy $15 a day, two days? We don't have a kid yet.

But, I mean, like, you know, but, you know, what's it cost to feed a kid a day? That's a good question. I feel like it costs less than people make it out to be. Yeah, you put it on your tip. Yeah, you put it on your, for the first couple of years, you put it on your tit a couple years well okay that's a year and a half i mean you could look honestly

if you want to save money we could just keep like this that that happened no there was a lady on like a magazine cover who like breastfed she she used the tit for like five years yeah and i mean it's like the kid looked healthy he looked like a little like you know people keep complaining about like oh my kids i got feed why'd you tell your wife to stop tit feeding them what is this you had another so let's say two years tip feed and then what what do they need i feel like that most of these kids eat peanut butter and jelly all day yeah i mean you know not not not the athletes yeah you know we we weren't kids to be an athlete rice and beans how much is a rice and beans that's good because they make the perfect protein

giant bag of rice how much is that dollar yeah no it was like it was like that huge bag i bought you know right before the pandemic that we you know just kept in case that In case it all went to shit The night before the pandemic really hit Yeah I bought a 20 pound bag of rice For like yeah like $10 20 Yeah

And I could feed you for you know A kid You just put that You make that as bed And he just eats the rice raw Yeah Just a rat little rat kid Just going out

I mean I would just bury The way you put a like a phone That got wet Into a bag of rice I would put my baby in there And then just like It would just kind of Absorb maybe

No I wouldn't do that. I would make a nice, a really big, I would use a 20 pound bag of rice and make 20 pounds of rice work because it's going to be more with the beans, but like use it all and make rice and beans. And then it's going to absorb the protein through the skin. All right.

I'm going to create a super comp. Yeah. Yeah. And it's going to, it's going to be a baseball boy. You know, and he's going to be in the messy yearbook one day. selling boats selling boat rentals um yeah my cousin was making that point that it's like

people think that it's so expensive but it's like it's just like diapers and then what yeah but your kids also you know just uh this is my little niece or cousin i feel like that kid is stealing on my wallet but i'm yeah you teach the kid to pick pocket yeah i feel like she's looking at the kensian car great great kid we don't want to name names but great kid but you know that kid that kid's going to be profitable she's going to have schemes going um I mean look I I I

my scheming you know took me a long time to just date I don't know we want to go on the tangent here but you know but I want to take a cue from that and train our kid to be some kind of like you know to work people over so like maybe maybe have your kid like teach your kid to be a slip and fall artist oh yeah I just start crue from that crying and then

I just and I come over and what happened and go oh I fell on the on the on the wet rock what do you do have a wet rock here why is there a wet rock here

and people freeze that's the thing you like the key of these things is you can't just freeze but people will because I'm just a maniac my kid's crying and I'm like wet rock

wet rock this is a problem someone is going to cost a lot of money to fix you got wet rock I got a little from my kid. And they go, we got to settle this.

And then you come over and you start, you know, offering up figures maybe. Oh, shit. We could teach our kid how to dislocate their limbs. Well,

now we're getting into prison territory. No, but not in a painful way. I don't think a judge is going to distinguish that. We could make them double jointed. Never let anyone know. We could teach our kid to break their leg.

We could teach our kid to stay locked in the closet for a week. Teach them how to withstand an extraordinary amount of pain. Yeah. And then use that for profit. I'm going to teach my kid to get punched by me. What are you talking about? This is a fine line here.

And you're way over. I guess double-jointed is something. I forgot that double-jointed is just something you are, right? It's not something you can teach. Hear me out. Hear me out. Well, I guess there's enough trial whenever you can figure it out maybe hear me out though we cut off one of our kids legs but we get that way they can

remove the leg when it when it's you know profitable it's a prop leg yeah yeah it becomes a prop because the original leg has been sawed off i mean that's what you're saying to your honor i got her a new leg i don't know what the problem is here i can understand if i cut off my child's leg for fun or torture but this was just this was a business business business decision my kids got to eat so why can't they pony up a little bit i mean you know it's 2021 your honor we have decent legs now am i right uh i'm waving my gun hand um but yeah we got we know we go to the stadium let me say i took some what else happened one second because we got i pretend they have a diaper bag we saw some talking heads on the

screen on the jumbo-tron. Refresh my memory. Remember those, we saw those guys, the guy and the girl, the talking hand, the Mets correspondents at Mets Stadium. Oh, the one you wanted to be? Yeah. The Lucy, a Lucy got in her head that she wants to abandon all hopes of stand-up of her, of her various writing and producing projects, and she wants to be the woman at,

at City Field who wrangles drunk fat men and tells them to throw a beanbag at a target and they win a $5 gift to get to Chili's and she's like this this this is all I want I want to work at that stadium I think it would be fun I'm so much better than that girl too I could do where do you want to work I could do a much better job where do you want to work I mean I mean city field meth stadium it's never been called met stadium by the way it's never one it was Shea Stadium for years. Now it's city field. I work at Met Stadium.

I mean, you're sure to get the job now. You show up. Drunk probably. I want to work at Met Stadium. Well, you're not, that's not where we are. And it's always been my dream to work at Metz City House. Metz, City, Beef, Western Beef. Ruth, Chris, Metz House.

Metz and Walenskys. But what about that attracted you, that position she was holding? I just like that you can like, you know, your only job is like to have a kid, a big swing at a wiffle ball. Yeah. And his angry father is standing next to him because he knows that he's not going to make all those shots in time. No, he's because father's like, if I have only, I could have his opportunity. To win a trip to Niagara Falls. That's not what you were giving away.

I don't know. The most advanced thing I saw was they gave a Mets travel mug. Which is like they charge 20 bucks for it, but it's probably like you, you spend a dollar for it in a bodega. Oh, man, that's even worse. Yes. Trying to feel like a failure as a child because you didn't win your father a Mets travel mug. A Shots, a Shotsky, a Chachky. A Chachky?

A Mets Chachke. You couldn't get me that Chachkey, you fat. You fat. fuck you fat fuck four year old as the meds are just eating shit in the background yeah it's just no one's that you're eating ice cream you know this is great i want i want to live here um we you know national we got there you know we walked into the stadium during the national anthem i saluted you know i'm i'm i'm i'm not trying to start an acab riot here right i'm not trying to start an antifa thing you know i'm not i i'll pay

but then we got to our seats at one point excuse me at one point there was some kind of thing in between innings with like saluting some like your your soldiers and people start standing i'm not standing again but we did the national anthem oh right and there's like and they just went to some guy and it was like bob whatever and those u.s. army guy and like there's just some guy in the army every time some guy comes back from you know i ran or wherever the fuck we are we are we are and he was the guy who made eggs at like, you know, Abu Ghraib. And we got to, like, stand up and salute in a Mets game. What is this?

I had a, you know, he had kind of a nice Auburn hair. What are you trying to fuck this? What's going on? You're talking about Auburn hair? He had Auburn hair, this is Army guy? Well, you know. I didn't give him the sexual scan. I don't remember his hair.

highlights were like tell me more how big what was it bulge was it a pointy or gertie could you see the whole like length or it's just the head shooting forward go on he well you know I was like you know he had like a very you want me to kill kids over the over the cross the ocean and kill kids is that what you need we can set this up He had a nice dad vibe. All right. Well, you know. Yeah.

Eska. I don't want to say. I was going to say some name. I support our military. I would support him too. But like, you know, I don't think he's going to have a nice dad by. I think I've killed women.

The thing is, like, I was like a purpose. I'm just thinking, what if he's Chris Kyle? I didn't stand, but I was, I was clapping visibly. Do you think the American sniper had a nice dad vibe?

Chris Kyle? I'm not saying, I, love the military, but it's just like, you know, I think they would be the first ones to go. I wish they were. I have a lot more respect for the military if you went, if they, and there was highlighting him at the fucking MEC game, and he's like, hey, hey, first of all, I got PTSD. So, show that, show up, put me on the big screen.

I feel like I'm in a soccer stadium, about to get my head beheaded. You know, flashbacks to that. Second of all, like, you know, I did my part. What happened I did my part in the Silent Guardian? every guy thinking he's Batman What happened to that Every army guy wants to come back And be like, you know, have a parade

Yeah, look We don't give you a health care You think we should give you a parade? Well, to be fair, I guess some There's some people who say Did we ever have a parade for the end of the Iraq war? I mean, yeah, no three There was on a boat, remember?

And George Bush pretended to fly a plane. Oh, right. It was fun. But yeah, I was sitting down. I didn't stand up for it. But I was, like, you know, clapping along and stuff for him. But people were still looking at me, like, what, this piece of shit. Did you want a parade after the country collapsed and, like, you know, like, into, like, sectarian violence for 15 years?

Like, you think we should, like, had a parade afterwards? Is that what you were? I mean, look, it would have been nice for the soldiers. It would have been nice to just have it. It could be a sad parade. Packed to people who fought in a war and already killed themselves when they came back.

But yeah, I was having a parade now in 2021. It could be, we could, it could be a, you know, a sober parade. A parade,

like we're not going to celebrate. No one's drinking? Yeah, like a sober. So you want a sober parade for a bunch of, like half of them probably alcoholics, unfortunately.

Unhappy parade. I'm just saying, I'm not described. I would be an alcoholic. These are, these projections are what I would be if you sent me to Iraq and I had to go shoot people,

who were like, you know, for no... I'm not blaming these guys. Yeah. And I'm not saying they would do what I would do, which is if I was there, I just started to wildly into the crowd because I'm afraid. I assume there's a bunch of me's over there. Maybe they're trained and maybe there are noble men who are brave.

I don't know. I always assume it's like I'm not the most unique person in the world and that other people would just pull out, you know, a grenade and just throw it in the air and see what happens. I guess it's just hard for me to not clap when everyone else. else is clapping that's that's what makes me the dark night i can be the the outcast i can i can shoulder the burden of being un-american i'm the i'm the un-american dark night who am i on the batman universe the penguin no harvey dent why are you harvey dent

i don't know who you want to be i feel like harvey dent would clap for a soul you're harley Quinn. I'm Harley Quinn. Yeah. But the old school one. Not that you're not as high as Margarabi, but you have more of the old school vibe of like, hey, Mr. Jay! I just picture you waving a mall around and like a little, I picture, like, if you had

the option of wearing Daisy Dukes are really cool, like, Unitarred, you go over the Unitar. That's true. I would go for the Unitar. It's a cooler look. Yeah. You know, I don't, look, yeah, Margar Robbie's hotter than the cartoon character, but like, that's not fun. I always thought, hey, look at my ass.

No, I'm here to be a whimsical villain. I always hoped. I guess she's probably a little, she's aged out of it now, but I always hope that Sherry Moon Zombie, Rob Zombie's wife, would play Harley Quinn. I don't know who this person is. I played the Fifth Amendment. She played Baby in the House of...

Baby Driver? She was Baby Driver. I thought I was a guy. She was a really good actress. No, she was baby in House of a Thousand Corpses. I thought a movie like 20 years ago. I don't re-I'm not like you. I don't re-watch Rob Zombie films every Christmas

and, like, think, well, I eat my, you know, fake pudding. Bring up a picture. Do you know what you're following? Let me look this up. Baby, what's her name? I think it's Sherry Moon Zombie or Cheryl Moon Zombie. This is a lot of names. Cheryl Moon Zombie.

Cheryl. She has that sort of high-pitched voice in the kinetic energy that I have. I imagine Harley Quinn having. I think she would have been a better choice. I honestly think she could still be Harley Quinn. I mean, you know, your lips to guys' ears. Maybe when in a series where they're both, like, old. Oh, like the Dark Night Returns?

I mean, she's like a, I mean, she just seems like an older, hot woman. Yeah, but do you remember in House of that? No, we're established that. I don't remember that. Let me write. Is that her in the moment? movie? Yeah, I think so. Okay, so she wears a cowboy hat.

That's what makes your... So basically anyone who wears a cowboy hat can be Harley Quinn. But she has that kind of he-hee-he. Okay, okay. She's like a Harley-Quil. You know what I think would have been good was Reese Witherspoon. Reese Witherspoon. Especially back in like...

I remember her in election and you put Reese Wollerspoon in election or even, you know, legally blonde into a Harley Quinn outfit. And she's got that spunky energy. And, you know, it's not something I've thought about. But, you know, off the top of my head. I don't know. She seems too suburban to be like Harley Quinn. Didn't you ever see a freeway when she's playing a, you know, a teenage hooker or something?

And, you know, yeah, you know, uh, like HBO skinflicks or whatever. I don't remember. I was a kid. I was a kid watching these things. I was very impressionable. Why are we talking so much about Harley Quinn? This is a detour. I don't know.

We're here to talk about the Mets. But, you know, you'd be Harley Quinn in this universe. I'm sitting there. I mean, look, I love the military. Love them. All militaries. Assad, was not really a military. The IDF, the Palestinians who fight them.

You know, whatever. I mean, I just like guns and conflict. I wish it didn't exist. I love our military. I think we, you know, whatever. What do you want me to do? You can't, here's a problem. You can't, like, critique the war and, like, act like,

look, the troops are the war. warrior poets who can go around and like all they do is save babies like look you send people to war that's why it's a problem

because it makes men do horrible things it's half the problems of war besides the people get killed the collateral damage and like that's the number one thing is that people go

to war they come back changed I'm not making this up this is a classic like a thing it's a truism I mean the the Go read the histories of, like, you know, the post-Afghan conflict and when all the guys came back to Russia.

I mean, half the problem in Russia, when half the reason the Soviet Union collapsed, it's because, like, all these guys are coming back to Russia, either in coffins or, like, were amputated because the Afghan conflict, whatever they called it, the Afghan war in the 80s. And they're all, like, just disillusioned, and, like, there's a whole malaise. I mean, look, war is bad. And so we go, but, no, and they tell you, hey, look at this guy at the Met Game. was in the army they don't tell you what he did and we're all going yeah no that look i'm not saying he's a bad guy but this is bad just just blindly so what if we i i feel like we've got to learn because it's like i view the iraq war soldiers kind of like you might view the like vietnam soldiers like it's like every soldier's like that you know why do you think why do you think the world

all these the baby boomers were so fucked up because the world war two everyone went to war war War II got fucked up and then like now they're raising is what turned out to be awful kids surprise surprise yeah but you could at least like at least after world war two you were like you know the greatest generation like the yeah because they killed Hitler but like whatever or he honestly he killed himself they helped make him to be fair Hitler killed himself yeah but you know but they got they took down the Nazis but like we're acting like these guys weren't old shell shocked and like yeah well sure yeah but it's like you know it's like vietnam it's like it was more like an existential crisis of like we just did all that shit for nothing basically.

Well, sure. And then Iraq were kind of saying. No, look, it's always better when you can point. We need to come up with a new idea. It's always better when you can point to a famous suicide and go, we caused that. I agree. I agree. Look, look, we made this guy kill himself.

We need to come up with a new idea for like a military parade. That's like a little bit more, you know, like realistic. It's not quite as like, welcome home, boys. Put it in a Marvel movie. Yeah. Look, look, you come in, instead of a parade, everyone, look, we can do this now. I'm sure we have technology.

Look, it's not going to look the best. It's not going to be an end game or even Infinity War. You know, we saw Black Widow a couple weeks ago. Not a great movie. Really, you wouldn't be doing anyone a disservice if you use this idea. I'm about to tell you. But it's not going to be the best version. But, you know, they're not going to put every guy in a mocap suit

and spend eight hours analyzing every movement. But you come in, we come in, we're, You put you in the equivalent of the thing with the TSA when you go to that body scanner, give you a quick scan, and then we throw every single soldier into one of these mass battles they have, these CGI battles.

Their face goes on the thing. And it's going to look a little shitty, but it's going to be one of the shittier Marvel movies. All right? And that's the service you get that. And then we play that at a Mets game. The whole movie? Yeah.

With the U.S. military. The seventh and the stretch lasts two and a half hours? Yeah. All right. You're just going to watch the entirety of end game With it's not going to be end game It's going to be like It's going to be the Captain Marvel

With faces of U.S. soldiers superimposed Oh so you want to just Oh, so you're thinking we're just going to take over No, no it's not a novelty This is not the thing when you like go to like A convention and you get like a cardboard cut out And you take a picture with them This is not that

It should be It's not when there's like expensive bar mitzvahs Where like you pay for I have a kid edited into like different movies It's like no I'm talking about An actual Marvel film, not a good one. We're not going to compromise Spider-Man too close to home where it's called.

We're going to take the shitty one, like Black Widow, Captain Marvel. Am I only highlighting, look, the Thor movie, the early Thor movies suck, too. I'm not trying to say the women movies all suck. They do, but it's not, it's because they don't, they don't. But look, they don't, they don't put a lot of, they just don't seem to put a lot of, like, goose hour effort into this. Right. It's not my fault for, you know, Lady Ghostbusters wasn't good.

I mean, you know, it's not my fault. I like the, what do I like? I like women. What women things do I like? You like me? Yeah, I like you. Domin and Louise, I haven't seen it, but it seems great. I love Alien.

That's a woman movie. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you're right. Alien is a woman movie. You're not going to pin this on me, all right? I'm just saying, no, but whatever, but we put it in one of the less good movies, and actual soldiers and they're part of Thanos's army or whatever the hell.

Sure. And that's your Vietnam. Wait, they're part of Thanos's army? Or the Wakanda army. But those guys have to be black, right? By default? Maybe if they're black, they go to Okina army. Is there a shield anymore?

I don't know. Where do you put the white guys? You could put them in the Dr. Strange Army. Oh, they're just all like wizards? Yeah. All right. Well, that's your, that's your Vietnam memorials, being a fake wizard in a Marvel movie that's my that that's all that that's the offer take it or leave it I mean yeah

what you want me to do fix war I'd love to fix war let's talk about it I mean what's what's war what's it good for MC the MCU that's what um so yeah so I don't know about that guy did you enjoy the game I did oh this is another thing I'm sorry, I took notes of things I observed during the game. Does that make me a bad, oh, he should be going off the top of his dome, and he's got notes on his thing. They're usually on the computer, and like an effortlessly fucking is right there. I have it open, you don't see it.

And it's just like, but now I've got to, like, open the iPad, because the computer won't open. All right? So I'm sorry, I'm breaking the illusion a little bit. All right, I'm sorry you don't get everything, everything always. Anyway. uh yeah the guy this lewis giermo guy i think his name was he comes out to a very interesting because everyone's got their theme song i don't know if that helps the batterer because they don't

do it for the opposing team you'll notice it's only the home team comes out besides the fact we're booing them which i'm all for i'm all for booing the opposing team fuck you're making you're making tons of money maybe not even that much money honestly but fuck them they look good my girlfriend's trying to Fuck him, apparently. Oh, no, that's the Army guy. No, you did notice the Conforto. Yeah.

No, Comforto is a good-looking guy. I mean, you're trying to fuck it. But you, the fact, I'm feeling cuck because, like, my, I always liked Tyler Clippard. What's what I'm saying? Or my conformo, I'm looking at a photo going, this is a son of a bitch. I know my girlfriend's looking at him going, wow, he looks good in that uniform. So I have no sympathy, even if you are just pulled up in the minor leagues for the day,

and you're making, you know, 20, so these guys make $50 grand a year. Not even. Not the major league players But sometimes you get pulled up from the minors And I don't think they get put back Two games later I don't think you're making that much money But screw them anyway

Do people really get put back two games later If you really shit to bed, sure Wow Because it's like The thing is like people When you join I don't know how much you know about this I don't know a ton

But like you get It's not like basketball Well you have the G league in basketball Or over the summer you play But if you're a good prospect You're going to play in the NBA But like when you get signed to the the Mets you go like in the minor leagues for like I think on average three years three to five

years and then you develop in the farm systems there's like multiple levels of like minor league ball it's like double a single A triple A whatever the you know so yeah when and like you know in the Mets I think right now or in a position where they're like for some reason their benches always hurt lately so they have to keep pulling guys in the farm games right so like guys are getting their shot but if you go up there and you choke I mean it might give me another game Some guys only get one start. Right. And you get put right back.

And I'm acting like, boo, boo, because my girlfriend thinks she looks good in the uniform. And he's like, I make $30,000 a year. It's like, good, boom. But that being said, but this guy, wow, that was a long tangent. Because this guy comes on to a very strange song. Do you remember?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you start bursting laughing every time. Right. But he comes out to the theme song the show louis louis louis louis which i just think is a lesson i mean at first i'm like wait is that an old song and you were pretty confident that's just a song they wrote for the show louis i'm pretty sure it's just a song i mean look i might be wrong either way either way i'm not i'm not here trying to say louis just stained disgrace forever or anything like that but it's like it's weird on

two levels yeah i think he definitely picked that song because it's like it's weird on two levels one because it was the theme song to the show, Louis. Right, which is a great show. Which is a great show. But, you know, for obvious reasons, it's weird. Because he pulled a stick out. A lot. And that has people watch them masturbate.

And then also, the song has tragic lyrics. Louis, Louie, you're going to die. Yeah, no, it's an interesting decision. I just think it would be really funny if he just pulled this, like, you know, he would just pull the stick out on the mound. He just steps out of the batters box He's true He's from like a different country

And he's from like a different country And he just thinks like Down there they think it's great Up there wherever he's from I mean he's probably down in South America Probably or Mexico maybe Well I've come to the DR The Dominican Republic right

I'm not trying to imply that In Dominican Republic If a man started whipping out of his dick At a ball game they'd all clap But maybe Like I'm saying Maybe somewhere in the world This is cool.

I don't know. Probably not. Probably not. I'm just open-minded. But either way, and look, to be clear, he wasn't doing that. I just think it would have been very funny if he did. Again, not to disgrace Louis anymore. You know, I like Louis.

I don't know. Yeah. Me too. You want to talk about that for a while? He was, when he was dressing down the column, the Columbine kids. No, the Parkland kids. Oh, the Parkland. I was on the side.

Yeah. Those kids didn't. That was a funny joke. They were slow. It was a brutally funny show. You hit behind a fat kid. It's a really funny show. Yeah.

Yeah. This country's going to hell. Yeah. Yes, that was funny. Was there any else in the ball game worth mentioning? Sorry, I keep, excuse me, opening my notes. No. I mean, it started to get kind of dark.

I mean, the crowd left. we were like some of the last people there yeah because you know you got like people just getting drunker and drunker and then just left they were losing the mess were losing we stuck around because we're loyal people but we'll move on uh this is the first time lucy's been here for one of the batman segments where i bring up what i call my depression batman's uh would that buy uh to satiate you know at this point am i i i don't know i mean this is evidence of the depression i don't feel depressed, but obviously if I'm buying

these Batman's, this is the Batman Beyond. Now, I started watching this show last week. It's from the 90s, and do you know the premise of Batman Beyond? I don't. It is basically so Batman,

this is not the traditional Batman suit. These little things here, these are supposed to be like the jet flames coming out of his boots. So it starts out when Batman's like 50 or whatever, and he In the first episode, he's wearing this suit, I guess he's made a new suit.

And he has a heart attack. Well, he's trying to save some woman. And he ends up, like, pulling a gun, taking some guy's gun, almost shooting him. And so he retires. And then this kid, 20 years later in the future or something, through a bunch of circumstances, it ends up becoming his, you know,

and he sits in the back cave, you know, watching everything, Bruce Wayne. And, like, this guy goes around, you know, actually fighting people. Fighting crime. with Bruce Wayne is here. It's a cool concept. And what's this guy's name?

Terry McGinnis. It's a little, it's not the worst name, but it's a little, it's a lot. It doesn't have the same thing as Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne.

Terry McGinnis. I do like a suit. I think it's a cool show, cool enough show. You know, it's originally made for children probably, but it's one of those shows. It's good.

I don't know if I relate to him, though, because if you're Batman, part of being Batman is just, I talked about it before. You're the model of, you know, human determination and perfection and just develop and development, being overprepared and just like, you know, and you can't do that. That's against the law. You make your own law because you have your code.

This kid lets some old man tell him what to do all the time. Can you imagine that being Batman, but you let some old man? I don't care if he was Batman. Like the real Batman should be like, I'll give a shit who you are. He never, there's never a term. point where he just takes the reins? Maybe you're sitting there at home if you watch this show. You don't, you didn't get that episode 60 where he said enough of you, old man.

And I'll eat crow if that happens. And look, I don't think he's a bad show because that would be a great moment. He's like, because honestly, he's not like Bruce is occasionally. At one point, he steals the suit originally. And he's fighting these guys. And Bruce Wayne shuts it off remotely. And he starts getting, you almost killed a kid. He's in high school.

He almost had a high school or die because he stole his suit. But, you know, whatever. My point is that that's just Batman. I would never let a child or an old man tell me anything. So those, the sort of, the kind of amber things coming out of his feet, those are jets. Those are the flames. That's how an action figure, they denote flame. It's, I don't know it's plastic here, but it's supposed to be flames.

No, no, I can see it as flames. Yeah. Give it a 360 look. or the 270 you look who are the villains in that man beyond uh well mr freeze makes a comeback so far i'm only like seven episodes in uh but there is like basically this guy i think his name is powers something powers and he is the overarching villain who he he bought wayne enterprises uh out from under bruce wayne somehow and he's like the overarching villain uh he has his father killed his father worked for the guy and he and then

And then he had him killed. Which is, this is not, none of this is interesting for the podcast. The whole point of bringing this up is that, you know, this guy is supposed to be Batman. He's listening to an old man who pissed himself probably. Yeah, I know you used to, you know, defeat the League of Shadows or whatever, the League of Assassins. But, you know, you fucking, you piss yourself. Fuck you. I would just, I would kill Bruce Rain and then become Batman.

Does Bruce Wayne really piss himself in the series? I imagine he does. How old is Bruce Wayne? 70 probably. And, you look, but he does fight a bunch of, like, in the first episode, he does fight some guys, some punks who were trying to take him on. Look, he was Batman. Like, just like Mr. Miyagi fights people, although, you know, but Bruce Wayne keeps needing his heart medication. I'm just saying, if I was, you know, episode three, if I'm the Batman Beyond Boy, I'm putting a pello on his head.

Like, thanks for the stuff. Now, this is, you know, I can't have you around. You did your part. Go to sleep. And he's struggling with him, go to sleep. And then Batman. No more Batman And I changed the name to Catman

Or something Or Ratman I would change it to Ratman Because it looks like a rat right If I told you this is a rat I mean he looks more like a cat than a bat Honestly this guy But I would just call it Ratman

I don't think he actually writes Batman anywhere But if there was I would use to change You know you put an R over the B Cost effective so that's our segment for the you know yeah that's nice what did you ever you know do you ever reflect on why you got the batman got the batman or yeah what compelled you to get this batman because you have a lot of batman's right um i liked the way he looked and i said you know and it made me i ordered it on impulse from same day delivery from game stop uh because it's like there's no more

Batman's a buy and so like this one I didn't want to buy because I never watched the show so while it was being on his way on his way to me I started watching the show so I would have you know I wouldn't feel bad but oh you so you got this before you started watching the show yeah but just before by the time I opened it I'd seen an episode or two what if you hadn't liked Batman Beyond what if you thought it was stupid that looks pretty cool that's true it does people people give the show good review i had a feeling it was going to be all right what's your take on on these batmans there's a lot of them i mean look it's it's i support anything i support buying toys i think it's fun don't go on toys no they're toys on the box it says

not a toy i'll show you what does it say it says not a toy but what is it then I support you buying Batman action figures, okay? Because I think that... Next week I'll show you. I'll show you the box. I think it's the kind of thing that can keep you in touch with your childhood and your sense of wonder. Sure.

There are a lot of them. So I'm wondering, like, how many Batman's is enough. Depends of how many you make. I mean, I keep making it, right? I mean, if they stop making Batman's, I mean, you know, I'll stop buying Sure No I don't know

I mean We did see an amazing Batman In the comic book store We went to I didn't think it was that amazing It was pretty good I mean there were other things

Oh I thought it was amazing There was a flowing blue cape It was the hush Batman basically It was big Yeah He was a big Batman It was a statue Yeah

You'd be cool for me buying that I mean I think I'd like to have that one I'll get it We could keep it like Maybe that could be a logo. So isn't that, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've crossed over into enabling now. I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess we'd have to get the rights to it. No, we don't, people do this all the time, we're talking about.

We already have a Batman. I have the rights of this. We think I made a deal with McFarlane toys and Batman to feature their toy. I'm advertising. Hey, McFarlane, why don't you send me some Batman's, so I don't got a fucking worry about my girlfriend thinking that I'm wasting money. I would scratch my fat back a little bit. We watched

The documentary this weekend Yeah On Woodstock 99 It was on HBO Max Do you remember what it was called? Music box It was part of a series of music I think the ringer

The guys in the ringer made it I like the ringer show It was the best for sports stuff It was an interesting doc I don't know if I loved the talking heads that much But the the so just seeing Because you don't remember

Workstock 99 was one where it ended with, you know, fires and rapes. Yeah. A lot of fires and rapes. What was your takeaway from the documentary? I mean, I just didn't like that there was so much just like general, I mean, it felt, honestly, like, it felt kind of sloppy. Yeah. Because it's like, they're talking about this, like, one woman, right?

Who was, like, sexually assaulted. Right? At one point they were, yeah. And There weren't one woman It wasn't just The whole concert didn't rape one woman Yeah

That would be so bad But there was this like one woman That they They, you know Talked about specifically Sure Yeah And like

And imagine no Imagine one woman Was raped by the entire By the entire crowd I mean that's just But yeah It's like Condolences

So they're talking about her And like Yeah And so they're talking about her And like Then over it They're having this discussion about like women being naked at the festival

and they're showing all the stock footage of like different women like being naked and then like having their tits grabbed and kind of giggling. Right. And I'm like but like these aren't these women aren't the ones who said

they were sexually assaulted. At least not at the time. Yeah. Like that they might have also been sexually assaulted but that wasn't what they thought of. Or at the very least like it's like this isn't the one you're talking about. Like it's like you know.

It seems look it's the kind of thing we see you know we both know how decent. things are made. Yeah. But in a situation, like, it's one thing to cut, for a guy to say something in talking head, because you think they're shut, basically the way to just cut,

you shoot an interview for however many hours, and the editor finds selects, and then you find B-roll to go over it. So the guy says rape, and you find a picture of a woman getting her tick red. Like, in other things, it may, you know, it's not, you don't have to be so, I think it's a little more, you know,

in this particular case, it's more egregious to just kind of loosely put some random woman who happens to be, you know. Right, I mean, it's like, it feels like it sort of starts, like, begging. Honestly, it felt like the documentary itself was, like, victim blamminger because it's like, you know,

it's like, at a certain point, it starts, like, begging the question. It's like, oh, like, was she, like, also crowd surfing naked? Could be clear, we, this documentary is also overly woke is the problem. It was a terror, it was an obnoxiously woke documentary.

Yeah, we're not, we're not going here. You know, they were victim blaming. That's why it sucked. The whole, every, white man was a problem. Look, there's a certain kind of, look, there's certain kinds of everyone. And yeah, these, they were like

frat boy limb biscuit fans didn't help. But like, you know, it's like, well, white men have a rage. It's like, mob mentality is a thing. When you, you know, her mentality is a thing. When you're fucking, when people can't shit and they can't piss, they can't sleep. There was basically one talking head

who was entirely there just to be like, there were young white men there. Right. And they were. were very angry and it's like yeah but it's like also there was no water or food and it was just like it was just and it did all descendant and Fred Durst was

literally doing like a Hitler speech when they started blaming Fred Durst because Limbiscuit was the point I think not when it ended but like when the rioting kind of when they started tearing stuff apart at first and then the next day really got bad but like I thought it was going to be because he was like yeah that's don't break stuff

and he's like yeah get true of progression now but then at one point he starts going like you can start thinking about your job or the fact that you don't have a woman or the fact that you know people don't respect you or the fact that you're part of a system and you're being kept down by classes classes like what is this guy doing yeah and you started like being like it's like I want you to let all that negative energy out here yeah right like and whistle is that what you thought I just thought they were going to start whistling right no I mean like they started climbing the rafters and pulling plywood off

I mean, look, does he belong in jail? More than a lot of people, I'd say. I mean, I don't, I'm not a throw guys in jail first kind of guy. I think there's a better argument that he incited the riots at 99 than like that Trump incited the riots on January 6th. It's a much more direct causal thing, to be honest. Look, I do think Trump is culpable to an extent. Yeah.

But if we're going to say that, the Fred Durser is definitely culpable. I mean, Fred Durson might as well be the ringling. leader of the riots Um Yeah So I was thinking I was thinking about to start my own festival Um

But then having one security guards Just dressed like Batman Like Like how you're fat guys There's a fat Batman roaming around And so they see when you get raped They like you know

They'll just be able to beat them up This is a recipe for fascism probably I'll say And then they're wearing a mask And you can't tell It's like It's basically like you know who did it a batman well everyone's dressed like Batman and then also if people are

having consensual sex yeah they'll beat them up yeah because you know they kind of guy look I mean we're not we're not hiring like delta force guys we're hiring guys you work at game stop or whatever no offense if you do but you're not necessarily qualified to distinguish you know it's consent and you know and whether or not you should physically beat up people who are having sex right you know yeah but unless I would do that and I would uh there be a zero rape my festival there'd be a zero rape policy

it's not a promise but policy I'm not gonna guarantee I'm not dumb I'm not gonna guarantee you don't get rape whether you do the zero rape festival

the zero rape rule the zero rape rule Batman festival yeah Batman rock concert festival and it's just it's just Metallica

and Batman's beating up crowd surfers paralyzing people what do you think sounds great yeah um did you ever go to a festival

like what's the most crazy concert you ever went to like big I don't understand why people need to go to festivals by the way why can't we're talking about this why can't you just like go you made a great point it seems like people who aren't that into music because like people I know who are into music go to concerts all the time

Not always, it's not always like, I mean, nowadays we don't even have like the big bands Like we had back in the 90s where it's like, I could see Metallica, I could see Buckcherry, I could see Everclear, I could see seven dust and seven Mary three Anyone who wants to see this is like the thing that Woodstock 99 too is that it's like anyone who wants to see jewel and limp biscuit yeah just doesn't have a personality no like it's like you know just go just go just go just go just go to a red hot chili peppers concert but i mean look in the 60s didn't you have people who liked uh jimmy hendricks and joan bias probably but they were both good yeah it's good well jules good well jules great but limp is good oh okay that's your point yeah i mean i don't i don't know anyone who like a you know wraps for lumb biscuit anymore i mean i the cover of fate they did was good but it was only like slightly like do i like it more than the original fate by george michael

a little bit just because the only difference is that's a little faster at one point I think it worked well right but anything they wrote I never liked and but they did make that movie did we watch that movie together with John Travolta but he was a fan fan fanatic Michael no with the angel the angel the angel I never seen that movie face off no the one the one he's a stalker oh right right right right I just directed that. Really? That was pretty good.

It got 18% rotten tomatoes. So I don't think everyone agrees with us, but I kind of enjoyed it. Yeah, it was silly and fun. It was, who was the guy? It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, from Foundist Nation. Devin Sawa. It was an old, like, he was stalking Devin Sawa in the movie. Remember Devin Sawa?

He was in slackers. Mm. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, and Josh Revolta plays, like, a mentally handicapped guy who, like, stalks him and tries to kill him. It's pretty fun. So, I mean, my point is, if we put Fred Durs in jail, we wouldn't get that movie, which I think a lot of people would, you know, be fine with. But I kind of enjoyed it. So, I don't know. Would I recommend the documentary? It's cool just to see, you know, what happened.

I remember. Yeah, I mean, some of the footage was pretty good. Yeah. I mean, it got pretty hairy. I mean, I remember, like, the one. They're, like, multiple fires. The co-promoter or whatever, the fact, the fatter guy. Not the guy from the original Woodstock, but the other guy was like, MTV has slanted the whole weekend. They wanted to paint this. This is a great festival.

They only wanted to focus on the fires that happened, but not the people who enjoy the festival. But I remember when MTV, like, broke on to the news coverage or whatever. It was like, people getting raped at Woodstock. There's a lot of flames. I'm like, oh, I was kind of at an age where, like, I wanted to go with that, but I was still a little too young probably. I mean, some people were, I was like 14 probably, and there were some people there who were 14. Right. Who were raped?

Which is awful. Yeah. I don't think I would, well, who knows? Would I have been raped? I mean, you know, I think it was mostly women. But I'm just saying, like, either way, I wasn't allowed to go. Yeah. But I remember being like, oh, but it was way, it was more than.

We want to, we want to make a movie. Was it? We want to make a movie about this. Like a super badass movie. Oh, right. I don't remember. Do you remember the gist of what my thing was? The gist of it is like it's like it's kind of like in the vein of super bad.

Yeah. But it's two kids, 14 year old. Yeah. You're one of them. Right. And you're trying to get to Woodstock 99. Yeah. Oh.

And then like, yeah, basically it's like all these chenanigans happen. All like the American pie. Like we're watching a fat guy rape a pie. Whatever happens in kid sex movies. What are they called? Not kid sex movies. That's terrible. But you know, honestly,

anyone who directs a coming of age sex comedy is like already a pedophile right oh sure I mean like who's comfortable like I want to make a movie about a bunch of 14 year olds trying to have sex uh and then and then one of them bangs an adult this you want to direct this this seems weird but uh whatever but so whatever like the stocks but at the end they then it's like you know he finally gets to the festival and then he goes over a hill. I don't know, and then it's just like gangs of New York. The big thing, gangs of yours, just, woo! And I think that could be a good film.

Yeah. It's called Woodstock 90, uh, 90 rape. Woodstock 90 rapes. Yeah. So thank you guys for tuning. This is, that's, that's, we're going to end on that note. Yeah. You have anything you want to promote?

Not really. Do you have anything you want to promote? Yeah, you can find me. and Twitter, Instagram. I read it come. You can sign up for the Patreon. You get an extra episode every week. Links in the bio.

All that junk. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'll see you guys soon.