Kump - 88 - CK Kump

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Ray and Lucie discuss cologne mishaps, fighting with Whole Foods, Travis Scott and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your "I'm A Wine Princess, Bitch!" T Shirt, available for a limited time! https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello, and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Enjoying this nice sugar-free Red Bull. Nice. You as well? Yes. It really does smell awful, doesn't it.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it doesn't taste great. If you chill it, we all know what Red Bull is. We all enjoy it for its wings. Sure. It's wing properties. You really try to make it seem like it's smack.

It's a nice line of Coke, but it doesn't really do that. It doesn't do much for me. But it tastes how it tastes. You know, it's a little fruity, a little weird, a little overly sweet. It smells like B.O. mixed with, like, I remember when I was in high school, my mother, now that's my main gift now if this was your main gift i'm not trying to clash you name anyone if this is all you got for christmas but one christmas my mother got me amongst other things a small travel size bottle of designer imposter k1 which was not the calvin klein brand oh okay

like a cologne yeah i mean it was like a stocking stuffer i mean that would be an awful even if we were poor, which we weren't rich. But even if we had nothing but that, just get me an old Henry bar. What are we doing with this? I think about, well, let's stop fucking around here. Was she Bradded the deal she got? I think she's got a CVS

or something. It's fine. I mean, like, it wasn't, again, it wasn't the main thing. It wasn't like a buildup and then like, you know, look, I got a second job over the holiday, so you get this for you. And it's a bottle of CK1. Now, I'm not trying to seeming gracious.

It's fine, but there was other things. And she got, you know, I guess the idea was to put it in my gym bag, which is what I did. You put it on it after gym class, I guess. I didn't shower after gym class. Did you do that in high school? Shower after gym. No, like gym classes were never that like intensive. Yeah, I didn't treat it that intensely.

But that being so, whatever. Point is. Like walk around the track for 45 minutes. That's it. You didn't play any games? Any competitive things? Maybe sometimes. I just remember a lot of walking slowly around a running track.

Did you tell me your period or something? Like, why were they let you do this? No, no, they had everyone do that. All you would do was just, well, me, look, it's probably better than standing around on the sidelines of a game and then getting a couple minutes. Right. If you're not one of the Alpha boys, who I later on, you know, threatened to commit suicide to. But it does seem a little odd that's old, like, was it an option or they didn't have anything?

Like, why would you pay someone of the teacher to tell people to walk across the track? Well, they would kind of do things like if one of the kids started, like, standing in place or walking too slowly, they'd be like, hey, you got to walk. Oh, I move it. Yeah. That's a master's degree? That seems odd. I mean, look, should teachers make more money? Sure.

Not for that. That seems, I mean, that's surprising because I never, I mean, I seem to remember when I went to public school after I was kicked. of my Catholic high school that it was kind of an option like you could just walk around if you felt like it but there was still things going on that's just so bizarre anyway

we had actual gym class and you can imagine my hence the nickname Kump dump for various reasons my locker was a bit of a mess we very skinny lockers and one time in after

break maybe or spring break i came back my gym bag i was under a bunch of books and also sort of garbage in my locker and the can of k1 designer imposter's depressed uh into my locker like it was an aerosol and like the weight of all the garbage and the books had pushed down and this entire can emptied out into my locker there was also a rotten sandwich in there from god knows one which it was a wicked combination Because I don't know if you're familiar with CK1, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But I remember being very citrusy. So a very strange, you know what else is very citrus and pungent?

A decomposed body, which I wouldn't know at that time. Huh. But there's something citrusy, something. It's not an orange grove. But when you walk in on a floater, like a swamp thing, decomp, like a real, a guy whose balls have been, you know, inflated to two or three times of size by the gas buildup. There's something citrusy mixed with shit, mixed with garbage, mixed with rot, which I can't, you know, it's hard to explain.

I wonder if that's what that attracts the flies to it. Citricy smell. Look, as baby. I think flies will find anything dead. I mean, you know, because apparently they, like, will land in you within minutes of death and start laying eggs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like if you soon, the minute you, like, if you weren't vibrating, I guess, this flies just waiting to lay eggs in you.

Wow. Very much. Like, like, Neil Strauss is the game. You know, like, they were, they were, what were those guys called themselves? The pickup artist? Yeah, fly pickup artists just waiting to lay their eggs. So, yeah. So.

Because when you're dead, they know that when you're dead, your confidence is at an all-time low. Yeah, and it's time for them to get their, to propagate their genetic line. uh through eggling um why did that come up were you a big cologne person as a i wasn't at that point my mom did start giving me at one point later on in life maybe my mid 20s um like some sample colognes that she had because she was into perfumes or whatever and she got some samples for some bulgari cologne um it might have been unisex but i used to wear a but then i'm getting a bottle Bulgari black I think she got it for herself

but it was more masculine not to gender anyone uh oh but uh so I would wear Bulgari Cologne for a period of my life huh but you wouldn't think

Ray Cump would wear Bulgari Cologne you wouldn't even know Ray Cumber would know what called Bulgari because it was a V in there Vigari you would think I would say that but no it's Bulgari and uh

did the ladies like it I don't know I mean you know sure So that girl who you accused of killing your dog That she loved the call? I didn't have it at that point Maybe that was sealed a deal

That was high school That's when I had the CK1 designer imposter You gotta think like a fly About this stuff How do I translate like that to To the girl who I Were accused of killing my dog After I'd ask her out

How is that how does it like a fly work Because you confuse her The dog comment confuses her And then she picks up on the smell and it's sort of like a source of comfort. Just thinking like a fly just translates like smelling good. Yeah.

Okay. I don't know there's more to it. Think like a, act like a man's thinking like a fly. And the entire book is just smell better. Wear cologne. That's going to be our pickup. Fly is famously wear cologne. So it's a good analogy.

Why did we get onto the designer impostors? How did that come up? I don't know. The citrusy smell. Oh, Red Bull. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, so, I mean, my locker smelled reed horribly. And the fragrance reminds me a Red Bull.

And it's not the same. I'm not saying that, you know, I'm drinking K1 design and apostor right now. But it's similar. It's a similar vibe. But I like it. It's fine. Let's, let's. I like the taste of, uh, what?

Cheers my Red Bull. Is this bad luck cheering with the... It can't be good luck. I mean... They say toasting with the... With anything of the alcohol is bad luck. Huh. But, you know, that's just like an enabling drunk.

Come on, you can handle it. You've been sober for 10 years. You can handle it. Speaking of smells... We awoke to a... Not the, look, we got it relatively quickly. So it wasn't the most pungent thing. But our freezer, we woke up, I think we both, we haven't addressed this.

I think we both secretly are blaming, or accusing each other in our heads of doing something duplicitous. Sure are. We're very suspicious of each other. Because the freezer, I woke up and was just ajar. We have a top bottom situation with the freezer fridge. Our freezer has always been a little wonky as far as it popping open. and I tried to close it the other day.

Couldn't get it closed. You didn't seem to, you know, initiate either. So we kind of let it rot for a couple days. Wait, wasn't that? Didn't it all just happen today? Well, it started yesterday, but the smell didn't really start with the day. So, you know, I'm just saying, like, you know, I'm a slob. You just, you weren't a slob, but you, I said, like, I couldn't get a closed,

hoping you would maybe get a closed. And you didn't. I tried once. Okay, look, I mean, I can't blame you. So the point is we, I don't know what happened. We lost a lot of our frozen broccoli and shrimp. There's a box of Bubba burgers in there. Yeah.

It has me concerned for Thanksgiving to follow up. We're hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Have you hosted Thanksgiving on your own? Like, you know, with a couple. No. So this is our first time as a hostess. We had just the two of us Thanksgiving last year. We did.

We made chicken, which, you know, if it was company, involved that'd be a travesty yeah that'd be a real fucking problem i mean it's fine for us we're cute we're drinking you got me a case of of buds yeah i like regular buds cold in a can just drink it with water eating a chicken we got pretty drunk but if that was like if if our family had come over for that fucking disaster yeah no they would have you need a turkey been disgusted i mean i'm not look i get it if you're not you know if you're from some other culture it doesn't have turkey and you still want to do Thanksgiving. I think people mostly have the turkey, right?

Yeah. I mean, now it's going to be strictly shortages, they say. People are saying them, I mean, we have our tricky lockdown, I think. But there's turkeys, a shortage of turkeys, potentially with all these, like, supply chain issues. I had sort of like a waking fever dream when you were telling me about the Thanksgiving order. Yeah. Where we go to pick it up. And they're like, oh, sorry, like, we don't have it ready.

Like, there's not enough stuff. It's possible. Look, it's possible. And you just start screaming out of the guy? Not that, just the fact that I started screaming. Yeah. I don't think that would be the case. I mean, look, I would understand that.

It's usually when someone doesn't care. Right. And then, uh, I mean, look, here's this issue. Let's do a role, role play like we love to do. Okay. Hi, I'm here, I'm right calm here to pick up my Thanksgiving order. Am I being a little shitty about it? Uh, you don't have to be, but just, but, you know.

Okay, okay. I'd be to pick up my order. Oh, yeah, sure. Let me check on that. Um, oh God, I'm so sorry. Um, it turns out we've actually had a shortage problems. Okay. We weren't able to make your food.

I ordered this like back in October. I, I know, I know, but when the time came, we just didn't have enough of the. It's nine, I mean, it's nine o'clock in the morning. It's why I said it relatively early, when did, when did this happen? When did, when did you run out? Last night. You couldn't pick, that wasn't an option. Or maybe it was.

Okay, okay. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, is that situation? Okay. That's the situation, I'm sorry. We're going to get mad. Thanksgiving, I'm obviously, it's a catering situation. Right.

I can't apologize enough, but we just don't have the turkey or the stuffing or the mashed potatoes. So you're telling me I'm just fucked. You're not offering me a prime rib. You're not offering me a chicken, a roast duck. You're not offering me any kind of complimentary. uh replacement foods uh or cauliflower artichokes anything of that sort you're just fucking telling me i'm ass out and then i'm gonna wait sidebar i'm gonna wait you can now i'm gonna have to cancel my fucking people coming over i'm gonna make sure you don't give it to anyone else either if anyone

else gets a fucking turkey or a piece of macaroni or a fucking goddamn spinach we do have one person who is we have arranged to get a turkey why well what's so special about this person it's sort of an important person who is it Hillary Clinton you tell Hillary Clinton wanted her dinner catered by Whole Foods and what did you threaten to murder your son like she murdered Seth Rich yes she threatened to murder all of our sons did she said she said I'm going to Seth Rich you yeah she did those were her exact words wow all right well as you can imagine if we didn't provide Hillary Clinton with it for Thanksgiving dinner and she

she, you know, tweeted about it or something, it would look really bad for Whole Foods. I have a Twitter account. Oh, you do how many followers do you have? About 37,000. See, Hillary Clinton has more. Yeah, but Hillary Clinton's not going to actually, like, shit on Whole Foods. I don't know how vindictive this woman is. You don't know how vindictive I am.

She'll do it one. That's the reality. Let them, let that be known that, like, Hillary, most of these important people are not going to use their position to, like, shame. catering, you know, situations, which I will if I'm put against the wall, you know, if someone wants to fucking do the dance with me. This is a problem. Yeah. No, I mean, look, I'll ask, if I will start yelling if they give me no options.

Right, right. If they're like, hey, we have these other things. What if they said, hey, we have like six frozen vegan pizzas? It's all they have in the whole store? This is not like a warehouse in the middle of, Humbo, it's the whole foods. Yeah. I mean, have we spoiled a surprise that we're catering from whole food?

I'm sorry, I'm a basic bitch. All we can spare is, um, is six vegan pizzas. And then there's also some, there's also some frozen Amy's Tofutti cuties that you can have. Can I get, can I just get a fucking some chicken livers? You want chicken livers? It's better than to furky. For Thanksgiving? You're going to give your family chicken liver?

I heard they're pretty good. What are you being racist now? I'm, oh, Mr. Inclusive. You don't know who, what kind of people eat chicken livers because they were giving the scrap meat and they didn't make it really to take delicious even though it was not great meat and you're going to shit on it, you fucking fake liberal piece of garbage.

Look, all I know is that if I provided chicken liver for my family when they came over to Thanksgiving, I don't think they'd be happy about it. They sound like a lot of racist, a racist family through and through, right to the core. Racism. I was just screaming racism Inclusion

So yeah So I'm worried we can't freeze anything Is that going to be an issue for Thanksgiving is the point I mean we could but we don't know what's gonna mean We put some ice in there I mean we're getting a cater maybe if we were having some pie and ice cream Keeping the ice cream in there might be a problem Yeah I'll have to go to the bodega just you know mid-meal

Hopefully you saw some ice cream Because you think that that's standard right I swear to God, whether you have the option of a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I swear to God, if we go to the bodega, mid-th Thanksgiving meal, and that bodega, kid who works at the bodega tries to give you a Thanksgiving hitting on, I swear, I'll lose my shit. He doesn't like me anymore. Well, because I fucking probably gave him the look enough times.

I don't know. I think I did something wrong. Like what, not fuck him? Or maybe he's just getting older and he's born. He's an cell. He's like, oh, now she's a Becky. She won't fuck me. She thinks she's a Stacy, but she's a Becky, but that's a problem.

problem with this culture is that beckys don't fuck me they should yeah i'm not expecting stacy's but that's how it works the stacies and the beckies or the becky's the better one i think you're a stacy veronica thank you that being said he but this is how they rationalize well you're just a becky and you if you if you were if you were a stacey i get it right uh but yeah last time i was in there i was like i think maybe he's just getting older he's turning into more of a teenager yeah it's starting to make gradually more and more sense that he's working there because because but this time when i went up to the counter with my stuff i kind of i gave him a smile yeah but he was he was immersed in a video game on his iPad oh well that's immature it was

like uh you know i love how it's like well he doesn't want to fuck me it's like no he's getting older more mature he's just ignoring me and playing a video game when i'm trying to check out my food like yeah that's that's great he's getting older anyway uh he better not try shit if he's probably hard to get i'll show him what's harder to get which is a new head That's the hardest thing to get Speaking of food stuff My butterburns have mostly subsided I think by Thanksgiving they'll be not noticeable

So that's nice A little update there Oh wait, let me see him one more time My butterburns, it's still there Yeah I'm telling you, salmon butter It really scolds you But we'll move on to some topics

We got this Aaron Rogers situation. You've heard about this? Oh, yeah. I hear they gave him a really good securing on SNL. Really? I don't know. I haven't watched it, but there's like some really bad looking sketch. What do they do? It's like Pete Davidson playing him.

Oh, so it's not funny? Yeah. And it's just whines about his dead dad. Hey, oh no, now fucking, what's his name's ever going to work with me? The guy who doesn't make funny movies. Joe Apatow. Oh, no. now I can't be in freaks and geeks the movie playing the fat cump never going to happen uh yeah

i don't know i mean now you don't ever look if you want me to get engaged comically in something don't ever bring you ab s now now i'm figuring like am i going to talk about this now because i mean snell touches it you might as well now my i might never matter's side no but s&L touches everything that's true you can't think that way they're like a petro pederrest they just touch things But yeah, he, so this is, like, look, I mean, what did he do? He fucking claimed he had the vaccine, but claim, he said he was inoculated, right? I think it's what he said. Yeah.

I'm inoculated. Which he thought was, like, clever. This is, look, I'm not the guy who says, like, showed up and dribble, of course. I'm not the guy who, like, thinks, like, athletes are all just dumb jocks. Yeah, they're probably not mostly wrote scholars, but, you know, neither am I. But, uh, but this does seem to kind of move, a guy who thinks he's smarter than he is. does we go like hey I didn't say I had the vacancy I said that

was inoculated through other I don't even know what the other means were like fucking jerking off does he think he has like natural immunity because he got it or something I think he no I think he took some stuff uh or he did some other stuff that like you know maybe maybe he took some fucking

colonial antibody who the fuck knows I can't speak to that but he's he used he probably played a little word game and then he got COVID now I get the arguments that people who you know your arguments being made by, like, people who don't support the Vax mandate or even anti-VAC, you know, that, oh, you can't spread it anymore. I don't know we're going to get into it.

But the point, you shouldn't be lying to people. Look, there's plenty of people. Like, Kyrie Irving on the Brooklyn Nets isn't playing right now because there's a mandate in New York City and he can't play home games. And the Brooklyn Nets said that, you know, we can't have, if you're not going to play home games, you're just not going to play any games. And so he's, and look, I don't necessarily respect his, uh, he's also the guy who's, He's a flat earther.

He's a wild card, whatever. But that being said, at least he thought, I wasn't saying this before, but now compared to Aaron Rogers, yeah, at least you have your convictions. Right. I mean, he's just, he had a dumb ass,

he's like, oh, I'm doing this for the people who can't quit their job or whatever because of these vaccine mandates, which is bullshit. You just, whatever. But that being said, compared to Aaron Rogers, this thing, here's the thing. Am I mad because of the vaccine?

I'm mostly mad because of how awful he was on Jeopardy. As a host of Jeopardy, this guy was the smuggest, least engaging, most uninteresting piece of shit I've ever seen in my fucking life. And it just screams of that situation with the vaccine. It just seems to him. We were looking forward to him, too. I don't look. I like Aaron. Up until Jeopardy, I like Aaron Rogers.

He's, I'm not a big football guy, but he's, even with sports I don't necessarily watch. I like talent, right? I, like, observe, because I've talked about this before, but I missed Michael Jordan. Like, I knew he was there. I knew he was the best guy, but I kind of just thought, well, it's always the best guy. I didn't realize how special Michael Jordan was. And, like, you know, so in my 20s, I looked back, go, oh, I really didn't watch any of this at the time. So now, that's why I got the LeBron train, not because I don't think he, you know, doesn't make mistakes, or he's not annoying sometimes,

but because he's just a marvel, it's something to marvel at. It's named Roger Federer in tennis. So Aaron Rogers is not as renowned with accolades That's Tom Brady You Tom Brady's got like seven rings Rogers has one But he's one the best quarterbacks of all time He's just he's an amazing talent

And yeah he was on an episode of the office Towards the end It wasn't very good But whatever You know he's just They probably asked him to be on it And he agreed Now I look back on that

That was over 10 years ago probably He probably hemmed and hawed And clawed his way to do a stupid cameo on the office to play with some guy and some like, you know, America's got talent judge or whatever and just nothing.

And then, you know, and then he was just a Super Bowl champion at that point. And then he fucking waited 10 years. I think he did okay on Celebrity Jeopardy. But then he comes out of the woodworks to host and it's just garbage. And you can tell how fucking how clever he thought he was. I mean, he's a guy who should be personable.

I know with the argument. that, like, he's a really hot... He's a good-looking guy, right? Yeah. Very good-looking guy, and he's a fucking phenomenal, a legendary athlete at this point, even though he's never all the Super Bowls.

He's still... You know, when you know you're won the grace of all time, he just won the MVP. Great-looking guy. Like, I know he doesn't need to have the charm, right? But you would think that guy kind of, because he talks to people all time, and they love talking to him,

he just has some... Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe these people are all wooden psychopaths. But he has zero charm. Zero charisma. Zero charisma. and I hated them on Jeopardy. So this vaccine thing is just, I don't even care about it, but get him.

That's my point. He was a really bad Jeopardy host. So now is he say, like now has he come out and said, no, I was talking about the vaccine. I'm not going to get the vaccine. Has he explained his reasoning? I think I, look, I don't know current up to, look, he missed today's game, I guess. Because he had COVID and he has, you know, protocols. I don't know up to today

but I do remember reading a day or two ago that he was furious that his his COVID status that got leaked to the media so I don't know it doesn't seem like he's very uh

uh remose what's the word not remose morose remorse remorseful remorseful uh doesn't seem like he's

trying to make amends which look I don't get to the COVID politics of it i'm just saying the guy sucked the jeopardy hosting so let's let's get rid of the team or i mean someone the team or that right i mean i don't even know if it got leaked i mean these things getting the get i don't like it's notified i think when like stuff like this happens or if it doesn't i can't get i don't i didn't vet this like it was the panama paper but you know i'm assuming like there is probably a procedure where like it might he said leaked i

think who knows i mean also i read a headline i didn't read the article maybe it was you know some fucking ragged, they just, they just change the headlines. You know, there's a YouTube site out there where I try to watch ESPN shows and they'll just like make up lies that like Stephen A. Smith said, put it in the title. And it's just a half hour sports center. It's not even, Stephen, how can we do that is my point? I click. They get me a bunch of times.

I am not above doing duplicitous clickbait stuff. I just don't know how to make it work. Yeah. Because you're going to clickbait and you're going to find me, you're ranting about the Jeopardy hosting gig and like i don't know if we're going to retain those people right but i i'm willing to try speaking of uh football players oh what what what go on i mean what what what what do you think i'm going to say i don't know that you you met a bunch of them and something happened well you know we'll talk about that later off the air but you know yeah once i have a chance to jerk off

Did you see the Colin Kaepernick, the Colin Kaepernick documentary series that he's doing with Netflix? I have not. Illuminate me. I've seen it. Well, I don't know much about it. But it's like exploring history or whatever. Okay. Like the history of culture and race and stuff.

Yeah. Or just like the history of like, here's some of pretzels are made. That would be amazing. Colin Kaepernick just made like a how things work kind of show. Oh my God. He just goes to like Pritzel factory. And he's like, so how do you get the parlor? marshmallow cheese into the sour cream and onion and each time as the person's demonstrating

the thing he just he throws a football to them yeah sometimes he kneels but he goes like oh no i'm just tired of my shoe it's like he's just like i got cash in that would be great yeah he's fun with it but yeah like there's he's doing this series about race and culture and history yeah apparently there's some scene where he makes like a pretty one-to-one comparison between, like, football tryouts and slavery, like slave auctions? Uh, look, that's, I'm sure he overdid it. I didn't see it, but they're, like, dude, look. Fuck you.

Me? No, no, no, like, I'm just saying, like, look, there's something there, and I'm not co-sounding what he said. Yeah. But, like, I don't think it makes him, like, as much of, from maniac is, I'm sure Fox News is saying. I mean, look, of course that. That's a very high bar.

Sure. But like, look, I'm just saying, like, look, there is a way, in football especially, because they just, they basically get treated like meat. I know, look at the NBA. They get these kind of guaranteed contracts. And they're like, you know, and Kyrie Irving go shooting his mouth off, but he's got a

a certain amount of guaranteed money. And there's a big money, right? Football, they don't have the same kind of guaranteed contracts. And it's much more of a chance to get injured. And just, and like, I think the average career, is a lot lower which isn't the whole logical argument but that's part of it

and I feel like there's a lot more people so like in football like the teams are much bigger right and one guy like you could be the best quarterback even Aaron Rogers is and like he does a certain amount but like you can't get the Super Bowl if you don't have a great team around you when the NBA one superstar will make a

maybe don't win the championship but it will make a huge difference in the team right you'll transform a team which isn't have so my point is like they have more leverage in the NBA. So I do feel like football players are, and look, players talk about this, there's a certain amount of meat market. I don't think it's akin to slavery.

I want to be clear about that. Right. But there's, like, there's literally a part where it's like, you see these football, it's like a simulation or whatever. Yeah. And you see these football players like, you know,

on the field doing a bunch of different practices. Yeah. And then they start walking off the field and they literally transform into slaves. What? They, like, literally transform into slaves. What do you mean? Like, a line of slaves chain together.

We mean to transform. Like, it's like a... You're serious right now? Yeah, no, it's like a graphic transition. Like, you see them walking in, and then they turn into slaves. Like... I don't understand. Wait, wait, wait.

I was to walk back last 10 minutes. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So, okay. So it's like a... I met you halfway, Kaepernick. What are you doing to me? It's like a... Why did I meet you halfway?

Oh, God. Yeah, you get the point. Wait, no, I want you to read me. So there's actual footage of football players. Yeah, but it's like a little, it's almost like a graphic. Like, I mean, like you are, see, I think they are people, but it's like they're on a sort of like graphically designed football field. Okay.

And then they start, like, walking down from the football field into like, where, into this area where, like, Colin Kaepernick is giving his presentation. And then they walk past Kaepernick and you could see them, like, through a graphic transition, turn into slaves. I don't like this. I feel like, am I wrong to say he's making light of slavery? I mean. Can I say that about him?

I don't know, but I did. That seems, that's. If he were white, I would definitely say it. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a lot of things you're saying. Yeah, it's no good. Anyway. Anyway.

Yeah, I don't support that. I mean, you know. I mean, look, I don't necessarily care that he did that. I mean, it's like, it's... I thought, like, I... There's enough institutions that I at least could be linked to slavery historically that it's like, look, maybe he's wrong, but a lot of things are wrong. Well, look, I just hear a lot.

I hear, it's not just him. The reason I met, a big part of the reason I made it halfway is because, like, you know, this is something you hear relatively often. I think about football. Definitely NBA and football, but I think especially football. Like, the players will talk about the owners and they have a kind of a, owner mentality and there's a certain level of like you know it's just the only as long as you're getting paid millions of dollars i'm not saying you should you know you should be able to be the base or

anything but you know it did a certain level of like well you're fine but if it's like but if that's kind of like up in the air and they just kind of treat me like shit you know whatever i'm just whatever you you you've set me up i'm sorry for bringing this up no it's I don't think the NFL is slavery. I'm going to make that clear. I was trying to be a good guy. I would argue that there are things that are more like slavery than that. Yeah, like the prison carcereal system.

Right. Not that you shouldn't go to a prison for rape and killing. Yeah. But, you know. You're going to get me over that one too? Speaking of that, a rapist was just, what they call it, recivized? But it's just reprieved.

And then raped and killed the governor's son. How do I transition from that to Metroid Lego? Just like that. Yeah. Well, should we do the Batman first? Yeah, sure. So this is the... You know, there's something...

I'm not saying he's right. There's something to do that. Yeah, no, he literally, like, put chains on. He literally Photoshop Bill Belichick Whipping a man He literally just like Dubbed over footage of Bill Belichick Just

Using the M word Oh my God Hey Batman Batman This is a big Batman This is a big boy His cave is really the big thing Yeah, his body's actually pretty small.

Yeah, it's not the biggest body. I mean, it's sinewy, muscular. But this is the legends of the dark night, I think, or secrets of the dark night. I found him in the comic bookshop. I liked his ostentatious cape. And it's also more of the classic, or at least the late, you know, 90s, maybe 80s, blue color.

You know, he's more black now. It's like a giant shell. Well, I mean, I think because it's a toy, but I think it's just, it's not hard in the comics. It's just, you know. He's like a Venus de Milo. What? He's like a Venus de Milo. How does he look at Venus de Milo?

Or is it, the Venus. You mean David? The man? The Venus de Milo is the one on the, on the shell, right? She's on top of a shell. She doesn't surround anybody's show. I guess I see your point. You're just trying to call, you know, Batman, an armless woman?

Yeah. Is she armless? The Venus de Milo? Oh, is she? I forget. The shell lady might not be the Venus de Milo. No, that's Venus de Milo. I just didn't know why you were calling me.

I mean, again, I mean, David's right there is the only point. I was trying to make. Yeah. I guess David's got no. He doesn't have a shell. No, I know, but he's a man. Am I being, I don't know. Maybe I'm being a, maybe I'm being a, I don't want to be Jake rolling over here.

I like Batman. What do you think of him? I like him a lot. What's the story behind this Batman? I don't know. I mean, it reminds me of the 90s Batman when he was just going around getting his back broken by Bain

in the original in the comics. And he got Jason Todd killed in the 80s. He was Robin. Yeah. And I mean, the wings are the ostentatious. Do you think that like this wing set up where it's just sprawling, do you think he ever got him in trouble?

You know, whenever, like, call on things? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And like, you know, you think he ever had to witness a rape that he was helpless to stop because he couldn't get the wings out of a situation like a jam and like and he was trying to cut but you know you don't want a criminal just cutting your bat cape off because you use that the glide so he's got he made some pretty tough stuff and like the knife he probably has his knife it does it but he might have left

it off or fell off or whatever and he couldn't get off so he's trying to cut through it with a regular night that he has a batarang maybe right and there's a woman being raped right in front of it. Oh, I can't get it off. Is Janet an elevator or something? Is there a lot of, yes, I do think that's happened. But do you think, is there a lot, you would know better than me. Is there a lot of rape in the Batman universe?

It's heavily implied. And the DCU? Well, the DCU? Oh, yeah. I think there's plenty of, they may not overly stated, but there's implications. It's the implication. Right. It's like, you know, there's a woman.

Like Batman is obviously a rape baby. Uh, oh, no, I think that, I don't think that was implied as a rape because the situation there was, uh, as soon as he shot them, Joe Chill, shot, you know, Bruce Williams' parents. I think he got spooked because of the dad moved suddenly and the mom and he shot them. And then, oh, fuck, do you jett. No, I meant that that man's dad raped his mom and he's a rape baby. Oh. I feel like that would explain his depression.

I mean, is that canon? What are you basing us on? I don't know, just the vibe he gives off. So you think Dr. Thomas Wayne, the great doctor? Yeah. Just raped Arthur Wayne? Yeah, you know, because he's like a nerd and they're always the types that... I don't think he was a nerd.

I mean... I don't even a surgeon. I don't think surgeons are like... Was he a surgeon? I'm not you sure it was a surgeon. You think surgeons are like inherently nerds? Yeah. I think surgeons are a little more alpha.

At least on the show ER, there's Eric LaSalle. And he was like the... alpha and he had stupid Anthony Edwards and he was like the regular doctor not the real ones the real ones are like big nerds who are not that not they're angry but we we started we started watching with casey out what's name Casey Casey Casey from Dawson's Creek and right uh Joshua Jackson right yeah he played that doctor it was bad but he was he was almost a good job doctor death he was like a pillhead shock or something but he was just digging around and women's spines just trying to jam like fake vertebraes Well, look, I'm sure that just surgeons that are bad at it and commit malpractice all the time.

I'm sure they're jacks. Yeah, they're too busy fucking sucking and fucking to go to the class. Exactly. Yeah. Good for them. But what was the point? Oh, so I can't co-sign the whole Thomas Wayne being, raping his wife.

I just don't know. I mean, again, I'm all for me too, but I don't know. Marta never claimed it even. I can't prove it. You can't prove it. And also, the victim never made a, the supposed victim never even claimed that she was raped.

I'm not saying I could prove it. I'm just saying I get the distinct sense that it's true. This should be a show. Yeah. It should be called rape sense of Lucy. And it's just you, it's kind of one of these ghosts, a hundred shows,

but it's you, walking around randomly in New York City going, I have a sense that this man's a rapist. No, it would have to be rape baby sense. Okay. I go around pointing out the people who are raped babies. Oh, well, like, rape baby seems a little. If I'm in that work, I'm saying, can we scale it down?

Can you just point out women on the street and say, I think this woman's been raped? That's a compromise. Okay, fair or not. Look, whatever gets the show off the ground, I'm not trying to be the dead weight on this. So, like, that, you eat the hot dog, like in the middle, in Midtown.

Like, you know, like, you know, and you're saying something, you're trying to sound like an authentic New Yorker off the cuff. So, like, you know, I'm a rolling. It's a loosey eating a hot dog. And you go, good mustard. Yeah.

And you go, wait, look over there. And they do a whip pan. Yeah. And it's a woman. Things get kind of blurry around the edges. Yeah, and some girl in a red dress. Not like particularly, you know, but only used a red sun dress.

And then it comes back to you. you're looking the mustard with the hot dog because you don't want to keep eating hot dogs every take Right I think she's been raped And just cuts to like the fucking And there's like my partner Who's like sort of like a Staten Island guy

Yeah And he like he doesn't understand my powers He's a rapist That'll be the season three twist But he doesn't understand my powers But he respects that they're often right She's funny He's easy to use that for like you molester women

What does he do? What does you sit down on a friend do? He's also a cop. Oh, he's a cop. Yeah, but he... Is he off duty? Or is he working with the cops? No, he's my partner.

Oh, I thought you were in A-Kab, hot-dove-eating rape hunter. So you work with the cop? You're a cop, too? Yeah, we're on the beat. Well, you're a cop? Yeah, I would think in the show I'd be a cop. I did not get that at all. I mean...

Because people with these kinds of special powers are always cops and shows. that's not ever true what are you talking about this the ghost hunters are on cops and the psychics aren't cops I know the psychics were cops most oh I mean sometimes they work with the cops and by that it's like the family like puts pressure on the cops like you like can you why don't you get this psychic and they're like I mean that's not okay so I'm on commission I'm not a cop but he's a cop I mean I feel very differently about this now I look it's it's bad enough what this is you just

accusing women of being raped off the cuff. But I'm willing to explore it with you. But you envision this as not only are you doing that, but you're also a cop. So now, like, you're. I'm on commission from the police. I'm not like. Isn't the whole argument that the, I mean,

is this because the cops, you know, they are the arguments that the cops, if you come and tell the cops you're raped, they usually say, no, you weren't. Right, but since I have the powers. So you're just going the opposite direction. You were raped. What?

And like every episode starts If you were raped And you have to prove it Right And then yeah But through the magic of editing I mean if it wasn't for the magic of editing You'd be wrong like 95% of the time

That's true But we do Just manufacture evidence And we're like incriminating like You know What's the word Coincidences We edit selectively

Yeah To make it look like You know Her husband's a rapist Are you imagining Imagine this is a reality show Exactly yes Oh I was imagining it

It's like a gritty cop drama like i no this was like i mean there's no ghost hunter cop drama this is like one of those stupid like you know true tv shows i thought it was going to be like psych or monk oh is monk a psychic no but he has ocd which kind of gives him psychic power i think that just means he washes his hands a lot didn't see the aviator he just come out with the milk come out with the milk that's a more realistic take on it for sure sure but oh but in this case his oCD means he's like really good at stopping rapes. Yeah, like, when he sees blood, he really sees it.

What? That's not OCD at all. That's like weird, that's like, it's not like a anesthesia or some shit like that. He sees little specks of blood that nobody else can pick up on. That's not OCD. And shit. That's not obsessive-convulsive disorder. That's some kind of weird spectral imagery in his head.

And also just grime and smelly stuff. He sees grime and smelly stuff? Yeah. I don't understand this at all. Can we go back to Colin Kaepernick? Mike is a great show We'll watch some I like Tony Shalub a lot

Did you ever see wings? No He was on wings He played Antonio The cab driver Oh Yeah So that's nice

Tony Shalub Very good So eight people Are you familiar with Astro World Are you familiar with Astro World No what's that It's some kind of concert rep maybe it's a venue or i don't uh or is it like a festival i think it's a festival for

37 all right so i heard about this the other day um i didn't know who travis scott was really i mean i've heard i've heard the name but apparently he dates a jenner i think kairie jenner or kiley jenner oh i've seen him but this is just some random guy in the street we don't know that's just a crowd What are you talking about? That's not Travis Scott. There's literally some kind of memorial service going on, and some guy's holding a blue, like, teddy bear, and he's wearing, like, really weird sunglasses,

and she thought that was Travis Scott. I know him. Wait, let me see a picture of Travis Scott. I don't, I mean. Why do they have no pictures of Travis Scott? I, mate. No, never mind. Stop.

It's whatever. Look, you. I don't know. This is such a bizarre. So I I heard about this story the other day And They said this Travis Scott guy

I remember reading the article a little bit Was saying like oh Like he stopped the show a few times Because the gist of what happened Is that people were trampled Right It wasn't shooting Like there was a

Something prompted I mean I've been You've been to concerts right Where like you know Everyone's trying to get to the front I guess I don't tend to go to festival concerts But I mean I also don't try to get to the front per se

But you're shorter Is that something you've done? Not really I mean Whatever seat they give me I'll take Do you think but yeah I don't know women just trying to get close to the artist Or men People just want to get close to artists

Stop doing that Just enjoy the music He's a musician He's not going to do anything for you But then how are you going to get that moment Where you reach out your hand And then he touches your hand And you get to feel their flesh.

Do you think it's ever, like, a satisfying thing? That's really deprived. I've seen people who, like, I don't think in real life even, but like I've seen it on TV I shook his hand ones and this and they're actually happy about it. My whole experience and everything is if you meet anyone, it's, I'm no longer disappointed because I know it's pointless to meet people. I think it's probably most satisfying when you're like a 13-year-old girl. Sure.

And it's like Adam Levine or something. And R. Kelly pisses on you? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. What? I'm against it. We're using humor to point at the bad people.

Good point. Jesus. No, we're good. We're good. I know. I'm on you finish your point. We're good people. So keep on when you're a 13-year-old girl.

I feel like I knew a girl once who was like at the MTV Music Awards or something. and she got to touch somebody, Eminem, maybe. I think I touched the guy from Phantom Planet because he was crowd surfing. I saw a Phantom Planet and they met Jason Schwartzman afterwards in a meet and greet. They got tickets at the local, you know, record shop or whatever. Did you guys hang out? No, I mean, I think we, me and my friends have something about like the movie Slackers, which we liked that he was in.

And I said, you're laser. And he's like, you're a laser. It was nice. fine i mean i don't really i think he signed he signed his thing to laser oh which is like you know how often i think about that how much never and that was like that was like a plus interaction right who gives a shit but these people did they cared they wanted to get to the front and they push people on the way of the front and uh so what did they get crushed up against the stage or something trampled i don't know yeah in some fashion and so i had heard that he had

stopped the show a couple times to point out, hey, help this person, help that person, right? But then this morning I'm seeing for 37 minutes after officials declared a mass casualty at Astro World, Travis Scott played on. So now it doesn't seem as clear cut. Now, I don't know the guy. He's dating a Jenner. Yeah, but you know, it's like, who knows what they were also like telling him backstage or whatever? He wasn't back.

He was on stage. Yeah, but probably there was somebody in his ear. just going like just keep going just keep going it'll be all right yeah i'm sure whoever was running the oven and auschwitz also had that guy in his ear okay i want to tell you i mean there's always someone in your ear i'm sure karenk had a guy in his ear saying you know no no just directly linked this to slavery and it's like why maybe i shouldn't the graphic like no no it's gonna be perfect yeah you can't always listen to the guy in your ear that's true and then I'm looking at this other thing

Kylie Jenner looked on during Travis's set Had no idea of what was happening in a crowd it says But she seemed somber apparently Kylie Jenner seems to be aware of something Was a mister in Travis Scott's set Evidence in her serious demeanor This is TMZ so Did they want to run down Diana

With that before their time It was some British version of TAMC yeah Evidence in her serious demeanor shortly after she took the stage, something you can see now in her video. TMZ is of saying concert footage, we're told we're taking about 10 minutes and the travers of the performance. I mean, look, I mean, if you're

going to be concerned, that this just could be nothing because it's, you know, tabloids. But if the argument is that she's concerned and she's like, has a concern demeanor because of what's the I don't know, I feel like I'd be jumping up going,

stop doing the concert. People are getting killed. Stop rapping. I'm assuming he's a rapper. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe he's a jazz singer. Well, you know, I don't know. I could kind of see how, like, if you were on stage.

Like, you're not doing crowd control. Like, it's like you're doing, nobody's telling you to stop. So it's like you just kind of keep going. Like, what? What? No, that's crazy. You would think that if it was good at it. Don't you remember the, the stone was there?

It doesn't mean you keep the comic. Look, there's as an artist. you have a responsibility. And I'm not even going to say I think. You definitely do, even if you abscond it. It doesn't have the right word, but whatever. I mean, look, I do remember audio of the stones, you know, after the Altamont, right? The famous Altamont, and give me show.

There's a thing of, like, them going, like, all, let's just relax. Let's keep it cool. Yeah, but that was an easier situation because someone was obviously getting stabbed. No, I want to take a point. But then, like, towards the end of under my thumb, it's like, oh, he's got a gun. acknowledging things at least. You know, it's like, I'm not saying they didn't do a perfect job. Yeah.

I remember suspension Pumpkins bootleg or whatever I listened to where Darcy, the bassist, was getting mad. I think it was Russia. I could be wrong. I'm going to disparage Russia, but like some other country, and then we should get mad because the security was really like treating the kids like rag dolls, apparently. Like, you know, I'm talking hell not hard. Stop it. I don't know. It's just, I don't know what you, are you arguing that Travis Scott?

Look, it's one thing if you didn't realize it. That's one thing. I'm just saying it could be a confusing situation as far as what to do. I'm, you're confused. Here's where I am. Hey, I'm a rapper. You, yeah, yeah, yeah, cut, cut that beat. Cut that beat.

Cut that beat. I ain't going to keep rap until you stop trampling people. Wrap on that. Stop. Move back. Everyone moved back. And then the reverse trample. Everyone falls back on each other. Oh, God, that's worse.

Oh, fuck. I'm totally ruined. I mean, I don't, how do you keep rapping in a situation as Lucy? Look, you could stop. Yes. You can't stop. But what if you don't know? Like, you might not know that people are actually getting killed.

Well, look, it's a different thing. Well, you don't have being trampled, right? Because people have mosh pits. like look i think you know the shit kicked out of them well look i don't think this was a mosh pit uh situation i don't think i think does rap have mosh pits no not usually yeah i mean look i think you know the difference between a mosh pit and people being trampled so you're seeing like 12 year old girls getting trampled look if he was told you were there 12 year old girls getting trampled i mean there's teenagers i don't know if you're 12 i mean is a you know is a 16 year old girl's life

less important no but you know 12 has a visceral It does, look, that's why I said it. There was a teddy. A guy was holding a teddy bear at the memorial, so. Maybe there's a little baby. Maybe. The baby was trampled a little bit. I don't know.

I hope it was a good concert. There was a baby reaching his hand out to get Travis Scott's hand. And he just gets trampled to death. He's pulled it and throws him on the crowd. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, but apparently you were just going. to a, you would just kind of transition into a rendition of Frank Sinatra's my way. Is that what you're trying to say?

Like, I don't know. Look, clearly in a perfect world, he would have stopped rapping. And the lights would have gone up. This is ray in your ear. I just want you to know that it's a fuck situation. People are getting trampled. They're moving towards the stage. We need you to do something to help alleviate the situation, please.

And your response is, I've had made mistakes. But how is... I've had a few. But how is that... Okay, so let's say someone is... I don't know what that happened. Let's say someone was telling him that. Sure.

How... What the fuck is he supposed to do? Hey, everyone just chill out of a second. Stop dancing. Stop dancing. Stop moving towards the stage for a second. Hey, we got a situation going on. We need everyone to calm down, all right?

All right, what if you knew? Off the top of my head. What have you knew that he... there was terrorists in the crowd if you don't like that would be funny like that somebody initiated this and then they got in his ear go hello mr scott if you try to stop the trampling we blow up to the disaster we this is a brand this is david caresh from waco remember me i'm still alive i mean what if what if one of the things he tried to do was like he went for one of his slower songs instead of the really high high upbeat ones it's a start i don't know

why he wouldn't acknowledge like hey just so you guys know because look i don't know how trampling starts there might not have been ill will you know you're fucking you're pushing forward on a huge crowd people probably think that they can't you know oh they can't fucking i can't i'm not causing anything and like 40 people forward it's compounding to something right right so maybe tell people there's a trampling situation stop moving forward yeah i guess he could have said that i know it doesn't transition into a into my way as easily no it doesn't that's the problem i've been to rome i've seen it all trampled girls it's their fault i did it my way i don't know why you do it my way it's a

great song, though. I'm not even listening to an after fan. It's a terrible song. I didn't mind. It's just about a guy who just didn't give a shit. He didn't listen to Cancel Culture, didn't listen to Aaron Rogers or fucking Kaepernick. He just fucking did it. Aaron Rogers, did it his way.

Didn't get vaccinated. Went on Jeopardy. I kind of sucked, but Alex Rebeck-go-Fuck himself. Wednesday, I'm sick of this shit. What is that? For the Eric Clapton song.

Well, that's not quote Eric Clapton. Oh, that's the vaccine song. Yeah. I thought you're recording his racial tirade. No. From the 70s. Um, when's this going to end? I have, I want to do gigs at Sam Goody or let's see the clothes, Sam Goody.

Whatever. There's a radio. I'm saying, whatever. I have a guitar clinic summer camp. that's the host this now we can't there's a bilk rich 12 year olds out of fucking millions of dollars wait he had a camp

I'm just making stuff up what teams he can make stuff up but I can't fuck this speaking of musical controversies there's something going on with never mind Nirvana album finally getting their come up

I guess so this is this is a USA Today which is basically is that the paper record for America it's a very established very respected paper it is it is no it's not people magazine it's USA Today oh USA Today it's not it's a paper of course it's not it's what they put in like in like fucking I don't know what the deal is you would say today but it's definitely not great they're doing this is their this is their contribution to the Me Too movement

well look I've always thought I always start pause I'm not endorsing what they're saying but i've always felt weird about and maybe it's less common now but the like ease with which people will show a baby's dick i never thought it was funny i always thought like it's weird wait wait how many times have you been in this situation where you somebody just casually showed you a baby's dick look at not a lot but people would you would see a baby's ass on a copper tone ad for instance sure you would see sometimes people would like share a baby's ass not like in the porn way like it would be like you know pedophiles are you maybe you have on your chain emails no it would come up like they have hard copy

pictures you know like in the old days you would see well sure they know I mean there's definitely some nudity in people's like home video collection and I get it oh jean which people look they're there's a level of innocence sometimes I think if we look back though you know maybe we're just giving them a past right um but whatever i don't listen i think never you know ronel was trying to show a baby's cock person i don't think they were going look at this baby's cock doesn't it look tasty i think they were i think they were i think they probably figured it's a baby's cock i mean nobody's gonna be we're not doing this to turn anyone on he never asked to be a pop culture icon and he has nowhere to hide from what he

considers a childhood exploitation that has been shared for profit and perpetuity. After 30 years, he's asking for empathy. Does Spencer have right to protection? Wait, wait, wait. The guy who's in the photo as a baby is making this complaint? Oh, the baby, now 30, is suing the ban of a child pornography. Oh, shit. Wow.

Good for him. Yeah. Fuck, I mean, watch a court. Like, everyone gets to see my baby cock so, like, that Courtney Love can afford more like shrimp cocktails. he's going to throw up on the shores of Malibu when she's, you know, wandering into people's houses? How did this get arranged?

Like, was he... Did his mother, like, audition him for the... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I imagine, yeah. Oh, wait.

Yeah, because he was right. He did do a fucking copy of this at some point. There was clear violation of Spencer's private receiver, blah, blah, blah. in recreating the nevermind photo as an adult Spencer had no understanding of how it would affect him in future years the notion that Spencer brought recognition on himself is simply victim-blaming and he did recreate this album cover as an adult yeah but maybe he was trying to take the power back

I mean no one knew it was him look I don't necessarily think I mean he's also he's wearing like a bathing suit yeah it's like go all out yeah show you a big hog You're an adult now. Maybe this is what he's upset about. Well, look, he's, look, he's bringing it into the media.

No one meets him on Tinder or the bar. He goes, oh, you're the baby dick guy. Yeah. That being said, I have no problem with someone suing Courtney Love. Right. Take that money back from her. What's she going to do, like, fucking puke it all up? She's not, she's not a great, you know.

She's not donating it to fucking, you know, soft world hunger Right So sewer, whatever Would, you know I mean As far as I know Kurt Cobain

And Billy Corgan By her music Maybe not Maybe that's sexist But I mean You know She dated around With these guys

She only had a couple hits And none of them After they died Well Billy Corgan didn't die You know What do you think of that I think I'm being sexist By bringing that up

Well who says that Is there any evidence I mean She wasn't very prolific But she had a couple Good songs Yeah, I mean, look, if they're really writing your stuff for it, why wouldn't they write her to be more prolific?

Well, I mean, you, look, I imagine there was, like, a throwing a bone to the girl you're fucking. And then there's like, I'm not going to, like, write your whole album. I don't know. I mean, Kirkobo. It sounds like a song. That doesn't sound like something of man rights. Huh?

It doesn't sound like something a man rights. I mean, I think she wrote that. It might be the kind of thing that Kirkrow Bing. I can't even use. this yeah you take it you're just coming up with scenarios i mean you know like if you want real scenarios like you know how do you die anyway uh anything you want to plug uh no okay uh thanks so much for tuning in uh we got uh the patreon going you can see the links in the bio you can sign up you get an extra episode every week five bucks not a bad deal no uh so yeah enjoy

enjoy that. Have a great week. It's fine. Leave it. Leave it. Oops. Sorry. Sorry about that.