Kump - 93 - Crash Kump

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Ray and Lucie discuss epic crashes, scented candles, sharing a wife, and much more.. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hello. You never, you always take a delay to respond. I'm always hoping that you'll go for the implied hello, but you never do. want i want them to know i say hello i want you to know i say hello what's wrong with that it's christmas why can i say hello to a lot of people look you can it's the omicron christmas it's the

christmas variant i mean doesn't it look like a snowflake when they show those pictures yeah it's a little snowflake olmecron isn't entirely not a christmassy word yeah it sounds like uh oh oh mcron the bells are made of fouchy it sounds like a like a rare leaf that two people would have to yeah like buy your fiance a omacron leaf um or what gem you might buy your fiance if you're like too cheap to buy a diamond oh yeah or if you just don't believe in you know having the kids cut their arms off sure well not cutting their own arms off someone's cutting their arms off they ain't doing it ain't self-inflicted but you know what I'm saying think it still happens or you think they clean their act up

Conflict diamonds At Christmas Conflict diamond They can't all be conflict diamonds Can they? I mean Are they worthless? I mean that's debatable

But yeah Yeah it's like It's like enforced Scarcity by the De Beers cartel Is that gonna get Demonitized by the beer I was hoping to get The Beers advertisement on the show

We should do a black We should do a like a comp The beers Have those old black and white commercials Oh yeah And it's like you know That just promotes who we are uh it's exciting time uh to live in brooklyn everyone seems to have uh some kind of

some of some of old covid some of new covid everyone has it yeah we're uh it's exciting i don't know it it feels like the early pandemic yeah and i like it i just like the energy in the room i you know i mean i'm not i didn't look i'm not the one who planned this i didn't go make a variant People accuse me of that People have said Come, why did you make a I didn't do it Well you are a little bit cagey about it

To be fair I don't think you did it But I understand why some people Do you think you did it It seems like something that If I had the power I would But I'm clearly not In the top 10

Of epidemiologists out there No I mean I'm mature at best You know I used to want to be a Fauci type When I was a kid I saw a movie Outbreak But the monkey

Oh right with the, they called the Motaba virus. And I wanted to be, I wanted to be one of those guys in the bio suits. You tried to sell me on that movie being good so hard. I loved it as a kid. It was Dustin Hoffman, was Morgan Freeman, Donald Sutherland. And I don't know what the plot was, something about a virus. Yeah.

No, these are like expert, uh, whatever. There are the U.S. AM RID or whatever, or I, I, D. Yeah, these are the king shits of stopping. The king of kings. Of stopping disease. And literally. they're on the site of an outbreak for two seconds in one of their suits rips

yeah it's just like a branch yeah it's like the three stooges but trying to stop it's like District 9 when he's like playing with the device he's like get weird alien blood in his face and that's how this happened too I believe but you know what are you going to do why why dwell in the past

it was a great film you just weren't in the mood um there was a scene where they're on a helicopter with a monkey and they're shooting at each other. I mean, if we had some of that going around, we would stop this virus. That's true. No one got in a helicopter with a monkey. Yeah. Why not? Did Fauci do that?

How about you do less podcast and more flying in Apache helicopters with a monkey in tow? Get the monkey. Not sure what he does, but you know, you do something with the blood. Yeah. You mix it with something. Gunpowder, maybe. Right. And then you got to get a cure.

What's up medicine works? I'm not saying shoot the monkey. You know, take a little blood out of the monkey and then shoot the blood. Yeah, sure. You know, I'm not saying, I'm not advocating to shoot a month. Although, you know, if it was going to be the cure to COVID, who am I to say? Who am I to stand in judgment, you know, at the right hand of God about that? Yeah, no, you're not anyone to do that.

I will not. I'll stand the right hand of my father. But I'll just be like, you know, you're doing a pretty good job that, you know, I'm not getting involved. Right. And it seems like, you know. I mean, you think she. Do we think, I know that, I know that people don't like some people are, don't trust vaccines. Really?

Yeah. Is that a thing? I've heard that it's a thing. Okay. It's like, but do, is there anyone out there who doesn't trust cures? Oh. Like an actual cure? Yeah.

I mean, there's people who like say that, like, I mean, like, some people don't like, I some people think oxycontin is a bit much some people uh those people obviously are terrible some people say it works too good and we like it too much why don't you make a shittier medicine i support the sackler family what's the matter we did too good job stopping your pain made you feel too too happy too fulfilled why don't you have a baby that's not you know that's what some people would say I happen not to be a stockholder in fact is this not a company they still around Purdue yeah yeah yeah like I don't think anybody really I'd love to get some of those chickens because they should merge with Purdue that's what they should have done when all the shit was

going down yeah because even that document in that series like the guy the FBI guy got confused right they should have took the ball and ran with they they should have been like we got chickens we got oxy you're gonna stop us we got the chickens The FDA or whatever comes to inspected And they've just like They've turned it over From like a pill factory to a chicken to a chicken farm They're just like we just do chickens here

I don't know what you're talking about Opieous chickens don't do opium We're talking about Get out of here We'll see you next month Uh Hey bet a take a chicken Take a chicken

It's fresh No it doesn't It can't walk It's never moved before We keep it in this box Yeah no I don't know do you like eggs getting real lippy about the chicken not being able to move

yeah because they don't move right they never move those little chickens the factory farm chickens they don't get to move so those legs don't work anymore they factory feed probably no they're all like clawed they're all they're all stuck on top of each other clawing each other's eyes out they probably declaw them right this is not a cockfight I didn't pay for cockfight eggs imagine that you got cage free you got regular

you got cockfight is cockfight cheaper or is cockfight have advantages. That's probably crueller. In that context, you should give them the claws so that they could bleed out at least. At least some of them can have the pleasure of bleeding out and not slowly suffocating to death. I don't know if that counts as cruelty. I don't know if like if the American prison carceral system is not great and it needs to be reformed. But your form of attaching like spiny knives to everyone. So when they bump into each other in the mess hall whether they call it the cafeteria you'll get cut up that's how it's somehow less cruel it would be a faster death that's all i'm saying i don't know but they don't seem to want to die in prison they

they all get that penalty means something people are like i know not everyone wants to kill themselves lucy i i look it's really hard to get it should be it's hard to seem this is liberal liberal compassion yeah just they let them die uh i'm what they call a bleeding heart liberal You're a bleeding chicken. I want everyone to, I want, I have a heart for everyone and I want them to bleed. Bleed from your hot. Why are we talking about chickens? I don't know.

We're talking about the diseases. The diseases. There's a lot of diseases out there. There's a lot of debate and I don't care about any of it anymore. Yeah. I don't want to hear about it. I want to know, you know. I've heard that some restaurants are shutting down.

Right. I guess maybe it's because people got infected or something It's a very rapidly spreading virus, babe Yeah, but like it's like But nobody's like actually They're not shutting down In the sense of like they're like

You know They're doing what they have to do Which is like two weeks or whatever No, I don't know I think some restaurants are choosing I mean I know someone I talked to Had some Reservation at some restaurant

And then they turned out They were closing for like after New Year's or whatever I don't know just a couple of weeks. Well, yeah, but it was because of this. Yeah, I think they have to do that. Well, I mean, I don't know what you're asking. No, no, because I think restaurants have to close down if somebody has, if somebody gets it, right?

I don't know about that, and that would be crazy. Yeah. That would be crazy. How are you going to track it down in the restaurant? Everyone's getting it everywhere. You're getting into the goddamn urinal. Right. By yourself.

The year, I mean, I don't want to spread misinformation here. You probably can't, but you see what I'm saying. You get it from a. All sorts of places. You can't track you to the restaurants. I won't try and get that. I don't think that's the case. I don't know.

I haven't paying attention as much. I'm not the news source. I'm not the new. I've asked to be about she. Tell me what's happening. Tell me what's happening. You refuse to read the news. Yeah.

No. I've never read. I don't think I've read a single piece. I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day. I was like, I just do what people tell me to do. But I don't like, you know, I'm not going to keep abreast of COVID stuff. Right. yeah I mean I guess maybe I'm bro I'm I take you for granted a little bit

I don't know what I'm doing but uh it's fine no you told me not to go places for a while I don't go places you told me it's okay to go to some places I go to some places I thought there was consensus here yeah this is scary uh we'll move on a little I guess so you know that happened cold what happened we're going to tell you you tell me we're getting a booster we're getting a booster I want you to make your own decisions No, but there's enough making your own decisions in life. So I'm just, I'm just the apple dog. Yeah.

All right. You're my COVID daddy, Dom. Ooh. But we are getting a booster tomorrow. Yes, that's the plan. Yeah. Are you, are you scared? No.

I don't care. I don't care. Whatever. It's probably, it's probably fine. Yeah. It doesn't stop it? I don't know. Nothing matters.

Whatever. Yeah, I tend to think the doctors don't want. kill you right oh whatever I'm not in it for the medical clout right I'm in for the for the cump clout I mean just like comfy cump

yeah asking me to be foucho you know you had your chance for me for me to be fouchy you didn't give me a suit they didn't have a suit big enough for me well those hazmat suits doesn't fit I asked for one of those seatbelt extenders oh yeah it said no it's not it's not

uh was medically whatever a seatbelt like cinder and a hazmat suit they said that's not that's not a thing and i said you're not a thing and i was asked to leave by a cop um so uh last week we look it's been a it's been a mess this show we had a we're getting back on tracking in the new year okay the schedule's a little off and we had a lot going on but whatever point is last episode uh We watched, you know, we were talking about the movie Dutch. I had the DVD and we, it's a movie for my childhood that I loved, Ed O'Neill, Ethan Embry, whatever his name is. And we said, we, we promised that we, you know, you'd give you a review of the film Dutch. Yeah.

What were your thoughts on the film Dutch starring Ed O'Neill, Al Bundy? Oh, I thought it was adorable in general. I mean, I like that the kid, the kid was good in it. Al Bundy was good in it. I almost called him Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy would have been good, and it's fucking, hey,

you stay here and watch these fireworks. I got something to do. And, you know, there was like kind of, there's actually some cool, like, it's not like a,

it's not like a perfect film, but it's very watchable. And there's some cool class commentary in it. Oh, there was an interesting point. So basically the plot of the film is that, you know, they don't yield like this blue collar guy

who's got some good money. construction or whatever his successful business he's married he's he's he's dating the ex-wife of this very rich man yeah i mean in some point the movie they say he's one of the most five most important people in the country he's a lawyer right the kid might be boasting about that but you know but a hot shot chicago money man yeah right and uh and the kid's a prick he's a prep school and he doesn't want to come home and he'll need he's like i'll take care of this and he goes down to some other state florida i forget it's prep school they got horses all the kids hate him in the prep school because he's a brick

and so the whole premise is that like he doesn't want to go with ed o'neal and o'neal's not taking shit from a kid which i get uh at o'neal like he's he attacked his o'neill i don't beat him up ties him with hockey stick shows him in the car you think he's gonna rape him but he doesn't which is nice you know for a minute there i'm like oh please don't sexually humiliate this kid that's not part of this yeah that's not part of the deal i don't know uh and then you know misadventures along the way and you know they come together this and Nah, there's horrors involved, it's great. They end up weird, there is a crazy thing at the end where they end up at the last

leg of their trip before they get home is they end up at a homeless shelter, right? And you're having a nice dinner and the kid bonds with a little black girl. By the way, in this movie. Yeah. It looks like a fantastic dinner. It's one that, I mean, I would go there instead of my family's house. they had rolls and like sweet potatoes and mashed so many sides so many sides i mean they make homelesses look like a walk in the walk in the jolly the jolly roger what that mean uh and it's just

lovely and then like keep your friends as a little black girl wait one more thing about the dinner yeah they have soup to start they start with the soup it's hot the homeless people get cold that's true homeless needs soup they usually only get soup should have great dinners I think you should give him, like, filet mignon. Yeah. And just, but, like, you can't have a home. It's like, here's, here you go. And then, you know, go eat just somewhere else.

I mean, you know, like a really nice dinner. Yeah. You know, it's like, you start out, you like, it's like when you tip a guy, even though you don't like him. Sure. But, yeah, like, I like, almost, I'm not, I'm making the case for, you know, but I'm just saying, you give him a nice meal, but you know, they can go. You know?

Oh, yeah. I'm trying to have a picnic here. And you're scaring my girlfriend. put your dick away eat this Salisbury steak that's that's kind of one that's Salisbury steak that's classically disgusting right eat this ribby in the pan ribby in the pan beautiful

and put your dick away point is he befriends a little black girl and then the black girl then the guys tell him he got laid off and this and that and so they get in the car next day he's gonna he drives him the whole rest of the way the homeless family drives them He drives them to his mother's mansion.

Right. It's basically, it's like the dad, you know, because the rich guy's house, you know, the mom got in divorce or whatever. Yeah. And so they're like a station wagon, crap, like they live in the car. Right.

And it's not like a well-running car. No. And they're all crammed in there. And you know, gas money to a homeless family. It's everything. You know. That's something. When you live in your car, gas money is important.

Yeah. uh so they get to yeah a mansion yeah a mansion a mansion a mansion and uh and there is credit when a don't know gets out he goes he goes he goes he gives him his car he goes yeah you call me on monday i'm gonna see what i can do right and then i guess he's getting them a job maybe maybe and then they walk in to the mansion to the mansion to the mansion for christmas dinner yeah or the thanksgiving dinner and it dawned on me yeah these homeless people just drove you too this man's you can't even let them use the bathroom you're gonna say hey uh are you guys hungry what bad just save for a drink just save for a drink i have a piece of i have some mashed we have

literally they get in they have it's three people it is three people for thanksgiving it's a banquet of food it's a giant Thanksgiving meal it is like unfathomable amount of food and they just sent these people on their way they'll look back and wave they just go hey thanks yeah i'll see what i can do i might get you a job i might get you a job i mean i look why is it not i'll like well i got to do a background check you know i like i got to see who you are you know jesus doesn't get him gas money you go hey hold on a second let me go get some cash out of the mansion yeah you can i mean you should get him 10 grand you're rich people he just drove you to the man you get him you get them 10 grand yeah what you do in dutch so that was I mean it was shocking I mean honestly then like that shows up

and I was half expecting him to still be there because like the car can't start that's how bad their car was I'll see what I can do it's never call he gets a call this be a sequel that's just like one scene where he gets a call from that guy he's like nah says the voicemail whatever oh man uh terrible still a fun movie but yeah that was a definitely class divide yeah uh what else we got going on you want to do the batman yeah this isn't a batman now this is i mean it's part of the batman a middle year yeah right it's part of the uh we've done jokers before we've done harley quins before we've done we don't have to do batman's every we don't don't Don't comment me in the comments.

Right. If you don't like it, write about in the comments. How about that? How about you tell me you don't like it then, right? That's what people should do. I want to hear about it in the comments. And maybe I'll start responding in the comments. I'm going to start responding in the comments.

So we're going to hash it out in the comments if you think the Nightwing ain't no good. If you think he's less than, right? If you're not familiar with Batman to know who Night, enough to know who Nightwing is, maybe you're the problem. Oh, you just. gonna take that from him who do you who is nightwing talking about it in the comm who is this man uh i have no is he is he a robin he's dick rason dick rason leaves the tutelage of batman at some point uh i guess in the 70s to join the teen titans and eventually becomes nightwing now this isn't exactly his look i'll explain how does how does batman feel about the teen titans does he have any respect for the teen

Titans? You know, I think he has a budding respect for the guy, his, you know, little boy, he Well, no, Dick Gray said, sure, but the teen Titans, I feel like this is something that Batman would not be fond of. I mean, he's not going to send them against the top guys of Joker. Yeah. I mean, they're there to like, you know, stop rapes maybe. Yeah, but the Teen Titans don't answer to Batman.

Well, look, I mean, if Batman shows up, I mean, let's see what happens. Yeah. You want to fuck with Batman, you know, cyborg? Batman. I mean, there's a great thing in the, I figure we talk about it, not, but the Injustice series, where, like, you know,

there's a whole divide between them because Superman accidentally kills lowest, it's a whole thing. Right. And Cyborg, who's part of the Teen Titans, at least at that point, gets a virus from Batman. He goes, oh, you infect me of malware or something.

And he takes a point, oh, my God, you did this the second day you knew me. That's who Batman is. Batman will have. effective with viruses he'll give you the omicron he don't give his shit he don't play by teen rules sure right he's not you know what it's like me a teenager we think i look am i going to sit around respecting the teenager oh you'll be a teenager yeah oh like a superhero

teenager no just a teenager hi what what what what you need uh i don't know i just wanted to like have a conversation with you what are you gonna tell me about you your bowl smell They get smelly balls I was imagining me as a girl But okay I'm a boy You're a girl Be a girl, be a girl on

Okay I don't even know I don't just say hey Hey What are you gonna tell me A pussy smells Same thing I don't know

Why do you want me to say to children No no I'm saying It's hard for me to imagine The Batman would like I feel like When he hears about the Teen Titans and see, like, kind of roll his eyes a little bit. Yeah, he's not going to fucking sit there and go,

oh, look, you guys are my equals. Yeah. Like, he's going to sit there and, like, plot to kill them if they ever come, you know, cross them. Also, why I love Batman. I feel like his name. I feel like he'd think that the name was dumb. It's a dumb name.

Yeah. They live in a building shaped like a T. I got to be honest, I never read much Teen Titans or any of it, really. But, like, I know they live in a, they have a building that's shaped like a T. It's terrible. It's terrible.

It's so dumb. Uh, we're getting that way from, You know, so, but this is, this is the version of Nightwing from the death of the family, not death in the family, the family, uh, run when the Joker, you know, gets all the little bat people like, you know, Dick Grayson and bat girl and all these people and he gets them and he can get some with the, they get, he can stares them and gets toxic chemicals into them. And they makes them fight each other. And like, you know, this is him in a zombie form with the Joker stuff.

Kind of like Bill Cosby. This is one of Bill Cosby's victims here. Okay. He doesn't know what he's doing. And he won't remember what he's doing, but he feels violated by the Joker. He's got little sticks. Yeah. I mean, it's basically the same thing as regular Nightwing, but with a white face.

This seems like something the Joker does a lot. It's just like turning other people into joker-type things. Yeah, it's kind of, look, he's, there ain't much to it. he's just a guy with a knife and he's like why don't you be a joker and like you know what do you want me to do he's not like he's not like designing uh you know a new digital currency right you know he's not like he's not a long musk we'll get to him in a second because a lot but long musk is a real villain yeah a real you know a real scum uh but this guy he's not like you know pumping dumping cryptocurrency on twitter he's just you know the joker he's just got a knife yeah he's uh

you know i don't know what to tell you i mean this is uh i don't know why he has these little sticks everyone's got these different fight why doesn't anyone have a gun i'll never know but uh what would you do if i if you like what if i was like painted white like the joker oh if you turned into all joker if he got if a joker got me and i'm like you know now i'm a joker boy well how would you fight me oh i would have to fight you i either fight me off i guess because i'm just going crazy oh i'm just i'm throwing haymakers i'm drinking a lemonade I couldn't I couldn't no no I mean unpredictable I couldn't appeal to you I would have to I would have to

I can't see I mean how would you try to appeal to me in that case I would say like hey hey I throw I throw a bunch of ketchup at you first day just a primer okay all right so I have to fight you yeah I would try and let you on fire wow wow right the fire how how would that go do you have like some lighter fluid lying around well you know you should keep some perhaps that's your plan because if something happens like a berserk maybe it's not a bad plan you got a little lighter

fluid it doesn't require me to get too close to you I mean you gonna throw a match at me no my plan would be I get the lighter you know that kitchen lighter we use right like candles yeah the long one yeah and I light some like I like a newspaper some paper some paper on fire

yeah and I throw that at you. That seems like a lot of steps while I'm running towards you. Yeah. I mean, maybe just have like a Molotov lying around. Oh yeah, Molotov. Make a Molotov have one of the, get a glass Dr. Pepper bottle on eBay. And that'll be nice. Like, and you just be like, I'll just think it's Dr. Pepper. Right. And then you kill me with it. I mean, I guess I could make like a quick improv Molotov out of one of the liquor bottles. Don't say one of the liquor bottles. If we're just, you have liquor bottles lying around. We're drunks. Well, look at all. We're classy. We have a vodka. We have a vodka. We have a Whiskey.

I mean, we got a vodka. We got whiskey. Yeah. We got a good collection here. That's a good collection of a guest come. We should get some crem to mend. Yeah. We should get some, make crickets.

No, grasshoppers. Yeah. Make grasshoppers. Make all sorts of candied rums. Ooh. Jewel drums. Rum with diamonds in it. Oh, yeah.

Anything. So that's good. So that's how you kill me. I appreciate that. What would you do if I was a Joker, person i would just like hold your head your forehead and like keep you like you know arms distance yeah that's the status part because you could do that but i would probably have to kill you you to kill me i would just i was i was just trying to tire you out yeah and like you know let you tucker yourself

out and then just tie you up and then i don't know find some kind of chemist to like de joker you or something yeah i mean i don't know i'm a scientist i wish i could do that with you but you're just a bull yeah i mean if you invest if you wanted to invest in like a tranquilizer gun thing oh yeah that could work but you know you're gonna be cheap and you know like if you're gonna pre-plan but only have the the tool of fire uh instead of like maybe maybe a tranquilizer maybe some chloroform no just set the fat's fucking fire that's fine merry christmas what i'm gonna do spend a hundred dollars materials but thank you I mean I guess it's

thought that counts yeah speaking of fire a little side note we've been getting into some I specifically I've been spearheading this and you might not think I'm the guy that spearhead these kind of things

but I've been in a craze I've been in a fury I've been in a tizzy about scented candles for the past week oh yeah we got the tree up and then I got some

kind of peppermint snow candle to go with it to make me i i'm it's aromatherapy is changing my life it's beautiful i love it i mean uh i used to have scents in my old place but that's more because it smelled like you know mouse uh droppings um but it's not it puts you know i wish we could do smells on this show can we do that maybe when you join the patreon we send you a card that has or a scent on it. Yeah. And every month you get a new scent. Is that technology exists?

A smell of the month club. We need to do. There needs to be, there might be something online we can find. I want to start giving you smells, people. Yeah. It's not going to be shit and calm and piss.

Nice smells. Yeah. Sawdust peppermint. Pine, oaky pine. Yeah. Old man. Old man. Old man smell.

Donuts. Like old. You know, but just like it smells like a Dunkin' Donuts. So, like, again, old man. They're very similar. But yeah, I've been loving these candles. I've been burning them, you know, to the wick. And I just want people to know that.

I want people to know I'm just living my best life with candles. What do you think of the candle? You're into it? I love the candles. Yeah, me too. We were speaking of evil men. And this might be controversial, I guess. Some people like this guy.

But some people like the Joker. That's true. Some people think the Joker should, like, you know, spray paint everyone's face and, you know, cut open babies. There's preference there. But Time Magazine, this is like last week's a little, whatever, you know, it's still timely. Time Magazine is named their person of the year. Now, usually they name something stupid like a stuffed animal or a Supreme Court justice. But, you know, this time they've done Hitler in the past.

Did they do Mussolini? they do Stalin? I forget. I feel like they get around to every dictator. Did you Eddie Van Halen? Should have. Should have.

Yeah. In hindsight, even though I'm not a big fan of Van Halen. He did those little squirrel guitars. That John Lennon when he died.

John Hinkley should have gotten it. Why didn't give it to Oswald? Didn't time, wasn't time the magazine that published a picture of John Lennon's bloody glasses? Somebody published a picture of his bloody glasses after he died.

Who was the caption? Hey, ain't going to be seen through these anymore. And the captioned is just glasses for sale Barely Plenty used Glasses for sale Time Magazine is terrible But they've chosen as their person of the year

The billionaire What is the inventor I guess? I'm not sure we're an inventor The rocket man, the Tesla, the man who called people pedophiles because they wouldn't use his experimental submarine, the same children, Alon Musk. Yeah. The scum. I'm not saying he's the scum. That's his term.

If you look back at an old episode, Football Grandaddy Supreme, he was featured in a lot of these shows I was pitching. You know, featuring Alon Musk as the scum. This is an ongoing thing with me and Mr. Musk. And he knows about it. he's aware of this yeah you know he's telling he might be telling his goons over here

you know this guy is what do you think of him what do you think of do you like Tesla's have those very big screens right they're like they're huge screens

and they're supposed to be made of electricity right yeah are they actually good for the environment I don't know I've heard debate I feel like something because we were in a Tesla recently right and it did have a giant screen yes and it is very techy yeah i feel like something that with that much just technology going on inside of it can't just can't be good for the environment

probably not they don't actually release their emissions i was reading which uh i don't know about that's good that's weird i mean uh there might be so they could just say anything yeah i mean they do certain things that are good but then they don't release their i also like those giant batteries just go into the ocean from what I've heard. Is it? Yeah, it's like... Those Tesla batteries?

Yeah. Are people driving into the ocean? What's talking about? This Ryan Dunn from Jackass? I don't think he drove in the ocean though. Are people just like dropping their cars in the ocean? You know, like when the car breaks down and like you can't repair a Tesla really. I mean, some people can, but it's like Tesla tries to make it hard for you.

Right, but I think they like, they repair it. You just can't do on your own. there's a lot of companies there's a lot of discussion now I've heard that a lot of the time like the only solution is to get a new car they pull the Apple move

like you might as well how much to fix this transmission uh 40 grand maybe I wouldn't I wouldn't put it past them this guy wants to he's also he started PayPal I love he invented these things

he's got he's got old people going to space with them right oh yeah SpaceX and he's building these rockets What the fuck is the name? Walter who, Kronkite? William Shatner. William Shatner.

Without SpaceX, we're on Bezos's thing. Oh, was that Bezos? I don't like how he tried to build this submarine to get the kids. Oh, yeah, that might be the thing I hate most about him. I don't think you can wipe out. I mean, people say you're going to wipe out. He made a point recently. If you wiped out all the billionaires, it wouldn't,

it wouldn't, what you call it, like doing anything about the debt, really. Which might be technically true. I think the point that they're obscuring is like, you know, maybe you guys wouldn't have such billions if you didn't, if you paid workers a little more. Right. You know, like so it's a little bit of a misleading thing.

I'm not one of these guys saying like, you know, the fucking everyone should start, you know, $75 grand a year in the bathroom. Yeah. It's just sitting a bathroom. You get to $80. No, I'm just saying like, you know, but yeah, there's a little bit. I mean, I know Tesla is paying people.

Does he pay people? Probably, right? Yeah. I mean, I think he's, you know, he's working with like... Pay you in Dogecoin? Yeah. I'm trying to, like, think of things why I hate him. It's the submarine.

That's the main thing. He's not a very likable guy. I don't necessarily agree with the way he acts with Bitcoin. And he's, you know, acts like a schmuck. I do think he's kind of like a typical ultra rich guy. I'm just like, it's like, yeah, like, you know, it's like that whole thing about the taxes. It's like maybe you're right, but it's also like a pretty convenient point to be making

considering you don't. you pay barely any taxes. It's like maybe if you should just be paying taxes, you know, because that's what people are supposed to do. Billy, look, they're very good of shielding their money. Look, it's a combination of like, yes, a lot of people on the left especially don't understand the idea that like, you know, you don't just, your net worth increasing doesn't mean you have like

revenue that year per se. Right. That is true. And then a little bit, you know, if you, oh, he's worth this, we got tax them. It's a little more complicated. he's trying to retain, you know, ownership of his company, can't just sell all those. There is that, but also, like, I don't think you're paying a lot of taxes,

dude. Right. I think he'd be paying more taxes. Yeah. A lot more probably. It's still be the, like, richest guy in the world probably. Yeah. So it's like, it's a little bit of, uh, but the submarine things are irredeemable.

That's my, I'll, the submarine thing is no good. I mean, those guys are heroes. Someone wrote in the comments where we talked about us recently that one of the guys was a pedophile who's on the team. I don't know if that's true. I think he's getting muddled. Let's fight.

So Elon Musk accused him of being a pedophile because he wouldn't use his child trapping submarine. That's true. That's the thing. But then there is someone said, well, that guy who was shooting his mouth off was a problem. All I know is the guy who figured it out was like one of them, because my friend got into this recently, just dive these weird cave diving things. And like, it's remarkable what these guys did. It was an incredible operation.

I can't explain it now. But like, he's just going, he's had claw, like literally like that like that guy from Mr. Gadget. Oh, yeah. With the way, you know, and like, you know,

and it's not, we probably would crush the kids like Telvis. So I don't know. I mean, I'll just never forgive him for that.

But he personally, I mean, I guess he's the richest guy in the world now. Yeah. Jeff Bezos. He's Bezos. Wait,

isn't, Bezos isn't richer than Elon Musk? Not anymore. Wow. Because everyone stayed quarantined buying Tesla's.

I guess. I don't know. how much what the correlation is. I don't know how things work. There was a truck driver. We're moving on. Someone messaged me about this. I didn't know about this.

Someone on our Patreon message me about this truck driver who I'm going to bring this up. It's a guy, a truck driver who got 110 years. So this guy, in Colorado he was driving his truck right and

I guess he stopped because his brakes seemed a little wonky but he stopped and he looked at him and they seem okay that he keeps driving and then he's going downhill at some point misses the or just doesn't go into I guess they have like little things you go into like to stop you

if you this happens I guess I don't this is a crazy thing about the world we live in Brooklyn we have no idea that they're like it's a common thing that trucks sometimes careening down mountain roads. Oh, yeah. And have to, like, go into, like, specially designed little things, like, ramps. Yeah.

So, like, I don't know if there's a bunch of, you know, water, water balloons to stop them. I don't know what it looks like. Coatly rubber, a big bounce house. I'm not sure, but he missed this, is my point. Oh, shit. But the fact of you have these things in the first place. How many, how often people careening? I mean, it makes sense.

It's heavy. You're going downhill. But, I mean. Yeah. This is a scary world. And this guy couldn't stop his truck. And there was already an accident that was stopping up traffic. And he tried to avoid it.

And he crashed into, you know, basically traffic. Killed four people. 25 cars revolving the crash. Big fires. Matt. Messer problem. He's charged with, you know, crimes. Yeah.

As you were saying, I mean, it seems like it might be some negligence here. Right. Given 110 years in his sentence, though. The judge is saying, hey, because it's got to be concurrent sentences. I can't do them together. This is part of the state law. I wouldn't give you this sentence,

but I can't do that. So here you go, 110 years. Yeah. People, there's a petition about that. No parole. I don't know if it's parole. But yeah, but the parole 80 years ago, you know. Right.

This guy, you know, he's eating prison food. He's going to live to hit in 102. I mean, so I don't know. I mean, what, just seems a little like, excessive, doesn't it? Yeah, no, it seems very excessive. I mean, how many years you think someone should get for not, for not driving into the bouncy castle when he had the chance?

Yeah, for just, and I'm sure he was trying to drive into the bouncy castle. I mean, look, maybe the balance. I don't think he was like, no, let's just see where this goes. Maybe, maybe it was a bounce castle. But this week, you know, there was a problem that deflated so they had like a giant dinosaur. And he's like, that's not it. Yeah. That must be some kids park.

and he missed the yarn ramp. And it's also, like, I guess the main negligence is that he knew there might be a problem with the brakes that he kept going. Yeah, which a lot of articles didn't point out. Yeah. Everyone talks about the ramp that he didn't hit. But a lot of Arcos don't,

only one article I saw a point out that he stopped and looked at him. I mean, there's a petition going around about, you know, this guy should just get time served. He's been in jail for like four years already. Yeah. They should get time served. And the only people should have responsibility

of the truck and company, which seems a little much to me. You know, I mean, when you drive a truck, I mean, I don't know much about trucks, but I know you have to get a CDL because you have to use an air brake. It's a different kind of, it's a whole different braking system, which I'm assuming is what went wrong here. So, like, you're assuming a certain level of knowledge about the brakes, right? Right.

I'm guessing. So these petitions are very odd to me. I mean, look, I definitely think there should be something like, you know, I mean, I look, I assume that when you're a trucker there's a kind of a line of trust where it's just like like yeah like you should have the skills to see if there's something wrong with the brakes but then also you have to be able to trust that the company isn't just giving you a shitty truck those guys should be in jail too at least uh there is an online petition worth it on it's on uh change dot org where they got they got they got 4.6 million out of six million i don't know what

happens when you get six million though i don't think the judge just goes all right look go well i'll sign this just for the fuck of it because i i don't think he should be in jail for that long yeah i guess if this is the only look it's the only option is a because i think they want to get clemency from the governor so we show him enough uh he's shown he's basically said like look we we don't get a petition for clemency yet but we get one yeah you know we'll look at everyone which i think with a signal i think you could have said like like fuck this guy right i don't like truck drivers yeah i'm a governor don't drive trucks in my state uh so yeah i mean you know i was asked you know they're disgusting men who work

who work with their hands some of they pissing bottles well they don't want to it's like honestly they they have the same problem as my amazon friends and they but it's hard to build the hole uh in truck you know oh yeah you can't just build you know shit and piss hole sure I guess, look, I mean, if he's been in jail over four years, people die. Like, there's so many people die in COVID. No one's going to jail for that. Right. Why is this guy, you know, he tried to stop.

I mean, at one point, he said, like, he covered his eyes. It was very, but I don't think he could have stopped himself. But don't include that in your, in your, he's like, at the last minute, turned left and it's closed my eyes. Like, I guess you're acknowledging that, like, oh, it's going to be bad. But don't, just don't say you close your eyes. It doesn't, it's not. I was, I was, I was. wearing blindly down the road yelling look ma no hands i mean i know it's not i meant it but

this is not the time for poetry dude yeah uh is it good is all right everything work out oh god i open my eyes this is bad um so yeah i guess how did he live like what he's in a truck they're in cars yeah but like i would think like a crash at a hens would like kill you i don't know i guess trucks are safer than i thought they were it's a big like truck like a like a trailer truck i think so i'm careening down a mountain road i would think well i mean it's a grade it's not like it's not like he's going down uh like a ski slope right he's not like it's not bouncing like him like that wages of fear you know it's just uh right he's just going downhill and it's just you know it's physics wages of fear is such a good movie

it's a good move go watch wages of fear it's an amazing french film about men in trucks with nitroglycerin. And that's, be very careful. Yeah. Which doesn't sound great, but it is. It's a very tense movie.

It's a classic. But yeah, I mean, I guess we'll sign a petition, right? Well, this guy, what's he going to do? Drive for no trucking the people?

Yeah. Probably not. What the odds of that? Yeah. If he did, I'd be so upset. Next time, we'll give him a hundred and ten years.

He will deserve a hundred ten years if he does it again. Yeah. So, you know, just be foreworn. I guess I'll follow. Oh, if I'll put the petition in the thing, I guess. Yeah.

I mean, I'm being a nice guy here. Right. I hope I'm not being hoodwinked into supporting, you know, I don't, we did the whole bolt for the, for the maze guy, the guy who does, no one went to his thing. Oh, yeah, the spherical bolt. Yeah. I want to be, I want to be an influencer for charities. I pump these things out.

No one goes. It makes me look bad. because then people people still go and click on it probably and go ah look at this asshole they only got five bucks

since he proved what a fucking turd yeah really Blake lively says one thing about trial pornography and everybody's like oh this is terrible

what she say but you can't but you can't hawks what she says do you are out of her private website fucking guy here is she anti-child porn

or something no pro she's very pro child porn no but does she do something about child porn Yeah. What you do?

It was like one of her causes. Was it like what Pete Townsend when he was like going, logging onto the websites and buying it? He's just like, no, no, I'm doing a documentary. You remember that, right? Yeah. Pete Townsendez of the Who. And look, for all intents, all indications, he was telling the truth. Oh, he was making a documentary?

Yeah, it seems like it or a book and both. And like it did that's a bizarre thing that like the guitarist from the Who. I guess when you're a rock star you're just fucking you roll with it and like you got money so it was like go to this website we can show the people and we'll blur it out but like show them they're asking for money

before you get in however I'm rich here take my credit card thinks nothing of it or maybe he's just really good at lying right but they you know whatever I don't know how we got on this bike lively so she's she's a not a trafficker

She is not a child sex extra ever as far as we know. As far as I know. Yeah, good. I could definitely be wrong. That would really put a sour feeling on everyone because they love Ron Reynolds. I know she's not the biggest star anymore, but Ryan Reynolds is beloved. Yeah. If that was the case, oh, it would look bad.

Do you think in our culture, given how, you know, the Giselaide Maxwell trial, I'm not one of the guys saying it's not covered at all, but, you know, might as well be. No one seems to care. If Blake lively, I don't want to say it in a sentence, was implicated in that. Yeah. Do you think people would lose the lover affair with Ronald Reynolds? I think that there would be a lot of sympathy for Ryan Reynolds.

Right. They wouldn't, yeah. And this is maybe the double standard. I think that a lot of people would be like, oh my God, Ryan Reynolds is such a beautiful person. How could he get involved with this monster? Right. Whereas, you know, well, to be fair, it was correct with Jisland.

Maxwell to say that she was also a monster well sure are you comparing are you comparing jisly and maxwell and uh jeffrey Epstein to blake lively and and uh ryan reynolds yes the parallels yes interesting uh do you think it doesn't apply to jisland maxwell but they're probably i feel like there are some examples of just like ben like the guy at a couple does something terrible and then the woman is like

that everybody's just like this snake lady knew the whole time but she did even if There's no evidence. Look, well, just late Maxwell, there's tons of evidence, you know, and participated in it and slept upside down like a bat. Yeah. I mean, every witness is like, no, yeah, she was drugging me. She was holding me down. Whatever she was doing. She was literally sleeping upside down like a bat.

We can villainize this woman. Was she really sleep upside down? Yeah. But she did that? That's what she did. What? Really. Yeah.

I didn't not know that. Is that good? Is that something good? to do supposedly like it makes a blood flow in a certain direction it helps with the uh I don't know molestate whatever uh

it makes the molestation more intense I mean look they might and you might say I'm wrong here but they're gonna make a movie about this Ryan Reynolds can make a good Jeffrey Epstein I look give it 10 years maybe or look it tends to when you wanted to play him right and they can make an age but I feel

like he does have to look maybe he can and Blake lively you put the black wig on her she could be just like yeah she could be totally be just like they should do they should get ahead of this accusation that we're fabricating really just uh they should uh they should play or i guess i wouldn't be getting ahead of it whether that would further the uh look he knew he had something special with deadpool no you could have something special with this right it's and it's and it's gonna be a franchise too yeah oh yeah i mean Deadpool's already pretty risque he's pretty he's you know he's he's got a loose moral codes so it's like you know yeah i mean

I mean, Deadpool might as well be a Jeffrey Epstein. I imagine their Epstein movie franchise being sort of like, like having the same tone as like the Adam family. Just like a real like, can you explain that at all? Just kind of like a ghoulish. They'd have like kind of a ghoulish intro music. And it's just about them, you know, being ghoul. They're walking out of the temple like in the opening credits.

Yeah. And like, and they just have a butler. It was a bondage mask. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Prancing around the island. Yeah, and it's just like, it was more like the Brady Bunch though, right?

Just nine kids. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, man. This could be, this could be a way for Gisley Maxwell to redeem herself. Oh, yeah. Financing the spoof movie. Is she?

I think, did her ever come out yet? I don't even know We can be talking about right now I'm at Jus Lane I don't like the jury got instructions Like on Friday I think I read some I read some article about how like She started the court illustrator who was drawing her

Right Like she started drawing her drawing her back Yeah Like she's literally like drawing her drawing her back And like And then she like drew that or something And like you know it's like Yeah

She's like a villain She's just like I mean apparently people done in the past though i think like uh o j did o j do it really or uh they were saying some of the famous people i think uh someone in the deposition like you were saying yeah one time uh tim robins drew me or something i forget who it was tom cruise drew me in the psychology trial i don't remember but apparently it's a thing people like to do i would think that's creepy and weird and just like i would think it doesn't win you points i doesn't the jury see you doodling yeah durdling at a trial i mean like

What does that imply the jury? Like, look, I don't care. I'm money, Bruce. I don't give a shit. I'm a bad boy. I mean, I just, I don't know what juries are. I mean, if I'm there, I'm like watching her draw. I'm like, what's he drawing?

Drawing a rape. You know, like, I wouldn't assume she's drawing the court reporter. Yeah. She's probably drawn. Though, to be honest, like, when you watch trials, you're always like, I always think, like, oh, if I was on trial, for something like horrible crime I would be on like the edge of my seat

the entire time right but like then you actually see the trials yeah I'm just like a lot of it eventually you've got it kind of started to get bored and then you molested this kid yeah and then you molested that kid oh oh he was he was a minor I don't get interested

again duh duh do do do do the oh she never saw her parents again oh very interesting but I see your point like the Kyle Rittenhouse trial is like they're having like a 20

minute argument about whether they can use an iPad right Kyle Rittenhouse must have been bored during that part I mean he's probably just thinking about tits yeah probably he looks tits he is at that age he got there's a little bit of a thing because he joined Twitter and then like a week later he like did that thing where you like you

probably accidentally like some porn star picture and uh it's still like it's what it is I mean you know he's supposed to like horn yeah no that's allowed to that's not the most questionable thing about it's not it's just it's a funny it's a funny little thing it is funny it is funny he's a little horn dog he mean he was someone interviewed him i forget and he was just like talking about smashing smashing pipe or whatever banging i think he was talking about banging like uh moms or something i don't

mom mom maybe i don't know he got no fat paying his mom what you what i tell you i mean like the kid likes the fuck yeah uh i think they said something to him like hey like you know waiting for one of these like mom's like pop your cherry like too late which is like yeah i don't that is something like a dorky teenager says yeah too late no seriously please don't it hurts so it hurts all the time i'm sorry i said that kid i'm sorry i said the pit of it um yeah we were watching Mad Men. We're re-watching the series. Yeah.

And we noticed a few things. You know, if you don't are not aware for some reason, Mad Men's a show takes place in the 50s. 60s. But 59 and most of the 60s, yes. Kind of like a deconstruction of the idealic suburban home is part of,

you know, he works in the city, he has a home life. Yeah. And we just started noticing that these guys with their wives. Yeah, they're pretty, right? And they dress nice, and they take care of the house. But they, she calls him up, this character.

The first day they're married, and she says, what do you want for dinner? And he's taking the bag, goes, rib-eye in the pan? Yeah. Ice cream. And we decided it's amazing. Oh, and there's another scene where it's Don Draper, and it wakes up with like a hangover. Yes.

And Betty Draper's all dressed up And she's for the part Her kid's birthday party Yeah And she's like There's a bacon and egg sandwich On the radio On the grill

Yeah On the range Oh yeah Yeah and We both decided Yeah That we need It sounds amazing

Yes Having a person you just We need a housewife We need a housewife We need a housewife Just Like just You know

It'll be both our housewife Yeah We just need someone Who can cook for us Yeah would they clean our underwear would they do our laundry too yeah who just cleans in general

how do we make this happen I mean I guess like I don't want I'm made yeah I want a housewife yeah I want someone who like they're not doing these things and they're all tired and a little resentful and just waiting for you to give them money

I want somebody who does them out of love yeah I want someone to love me enough to cook for me but not you I don't want you to do it yeah you we want someone who will feel the love radiating off of them as they tell us that they've made us a nice bacon and egg sandwich. Do we need to become Mormons or something?

Maybe. You know, is this why they outlaw polygamy? Maybe because it's too good. It's too good. Yeah. Because, like, I mean, there's a lot of situations where some people don't like fucking.

We find one of these people who doesn't like the fuck. But we were saying, like, we don't want to fuck them. We don't. I've never fucked them. You want them to love us? yeah and to make us sandwiches and that fulfills them yeah and we're nice to them sometimes you know but not too nice i'm saying i would be willing i don't know about you but i would be willing to

fuck them like once a year look you give them a little pity fuck yeah um you're fucking you know you you cover yourself in vaseline you wear a fake mustache whatever they need to get off yeah um but it's not about that it's about someone making you a little like sandwich Yeah. It's about someone, you know, maybe making me a little appetizer before a ballgame. It's mostly about food. Yeah. And maybe it could sweep.

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, not all the cleaning has to be up to them, but if they could take most of the responsibility for it. I mean, look, there's got to be someone out there who wants this. I mean, does it need to be a woman? Are we being misogynistic? Well, I was going to ask, like, could it be a man? I guess.

And I'll fuck him anyway. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'll fuck him. Yeah. If he's making me egg sandwiches and cleaning the house, yeah, I'll fuck him. Right. Or I'll fuck me, whatever.

Stick me with things. Yeah. Hook up batteries to me. Right. I love egg sandwiches. I also like the idea that we'd be, like, out on the balcony, having a smoke. Yeah. And that our housewife would just be, like, looking at us through the window going like, oh, those two.

Right. Boy, you'll be boys. Yeah. And we're like, we throw a scotch and early. Shut up. It'd be nice, though. And then Christmas comes along. We give her a little stocking.

We give her, you know. Yeah. Some, like, Starbucks gift cards or something. Yeah. We give them like a Mother's Day gift, even though they don't have children with us. No, I prefer if they're a baron. Yeah.

Not going to be calm. Look, this does seem like we're being just terrible, terrible people here. But if it's the only beef, they liked it. And we would, look, in return, we would provide for them. Oh, no. Look, they're getting provided for completely. Yeah.

We're freed up. Someone who's got to do this. Someone who's got a real, who's just a real, like a clutch with money. Yeah. It's bad with money. Doesn't know how to work. Yeah. But they can just, they can just clean and make sandwiches.

And look, I'd be willing to give up, they can have their own mad money. I might grill them about it every once in a while. Yeah. Where are you going? What are you doing this for? Who are you talking to? Yeah. What are you doing with us?

I want to meet these people. What are you friends with? This is $10. They come home. He's come home drunk. Yeah. Super drunk. Who even?

Who even? You have people here? No. You have people here? Who's in our house? Ah. They could host a little parties for us. Well, there's just three of us.

That'd be amazing. Well, you know, it's like when you're having a party, there's a stress to, to, to, throwing a party i keep feeling just having a living chef actually is what we just yeah i mean a caterer it just it seems so nice when it's like you know your wife but i mean like no but it's better that i should the thing is a living chef or a home chef is not going to come in and kind of gently nudge you while you're in it's true i need to be nudge and hand you a cup of coffee while you're still in bed and say yeah there's a naked bacon right this is a person who's had who's had like you know sex and all of us really enjoyed but we're intimate enough that she can

just kind of sit on the bed and go here's a coffee a personal chef's never going to do that right there's got to be some kind of like asexual person they're weird though well I don't label I don't label asexual people is weird I want them to be sexually frustrated all right that's fine I mean asexual people got there you know they're doing that thing it's fine but yeah I prefer someone who like you know like the idea of sex even though like it's just yeah whatever we do it I mean I look I don't know maybe we're all just kind of like like getting in a blob on the bed and just roll around we're gonna tell you I don't know how has polygamy sex work is is it like one of the time

I think there's a lot of sucking I think there's more sucking than there is fucking yeah I mean like I don't I don't think it's a lot of spit roasting and like in the Mormon thing right probably not I guess there'd be two guys women yeah yeah yeah how come it's never two men and a woman yeah well i mean that seems weird it would be too much it would be too i don't think i don't think the male egos and Mormonism could handle it yeah i i might i might uh because then the woman's the cock of the walk if they start doing that maybe i'll vote from mitt romney yeah you know i'm like uh you know balls in your court mitt that should be his platform if i'm president i'll spit roast my then Mormons will spit roast their women that look that would be amazing that

That is, look, we're in the age of porn. Yeah. If you, if you had a president, because you can imagine Jack and Bobby spit roast in Maryland before they had it killed. Sure. But I don't think that came out until later. I don't think the voting public was really like,

and at that point, I don't think they would have been into it, you know, on mass, what you want to say? But I think nowadays, if a presidential candidate, like Mitt Romney came out, I just admitted to, like, constantly doing spit roast. Yeah. I think a lot. I think you would sway a lot of swing states.

Oh, yeah. No pun intended. You know, just a spit, 20, what, what, the 22 is the next one or 24? 2024. 2024, I spit roast my whore. I'm in Romney, vote for me. That's great.

Anyway, that's good. All right. So, yeah, we're going to be back next week. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday. You know, we're going to be out of town. We're going to come back. And then, you know, once the holiday, the New Year comes back, we're going to be back onto the normal schedule.

So, look, enjoy your holiday. Where it was Christmas, a Hanukkah, Kwanza, what else is there? Ramadan. Is that happening still? I'm not sure. Whatever you like. Applesauce. Applesauce Parade.

What's an applesauce parade? Somebody might be having an applesauce parade. Is that like just jerking a little with applesauce? That would be nice. Yeah. Ooh. That actually. women bring out come out with homemade applesauce and we had a housewife she could make her own homemade

homemade applesauce for the applesau for the applesauce for the appellate we got to make this happen all right uh sign up for the patreon you get an extra episode of your week it's hilarious and fun uh everything's happening see you guys next week have a good holiday Thank you.