Kump - 94 - Positive Kump

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

Ray and Lucie discuss having Covid, the city of Austin, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Get your Kump Hand merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/

Hello and welcome to Kump. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. We're back. People on the Patreon have been hearing us for a bit, but this is the first time we're back to the main feed. people have been worried

I've been messages saying are you dead cump are you and lucy have you eaten each other uh I don't know why we would do that you know have you like gotten into an alive situation

yeah that will be alive no we haven't started shaving each other's meat no with a razor and eating it there was no need for that no we had a little bit of COVID I assume the Omicron variant right just a little taste

just a taste of the Omicron variant we were stranded afterwards we'll tell the whole story but uh it was it was a straining situation much like a live where the Chilean soccer team crashed in the mountains on their plane and were forced to eat each other until they got rescued very similar way we were sort of stranded in the city of Austin We were We got it We must have gotten it

Just immediately Well what happened So basically We right before We actually like Part of the problem Might have been that we You know

At least for me That we didn't go to sleep The night before we left Yeah We decided to deadhead it We record the Patreon On about 5 a.m. And then left for the airport

And then And look I was very tired I was like I didn't want to nap for some reason why don't i nap you nap easily i don't like napping um i feel like when i try to nap i wake up an hour in yelling uh punching i was afraid of getting shot by an air marshal so i didn't go sleep on the plane uh i played grand theft auto on my switch the new device city the remaster how is it all right i mean people it's getting a lot of flack because it's uh a lot of bugs

but you know it was fine and I made some beats on my iPad and we landed in the city of Austin we were masked up we've been vaccinated and here's here we know we didn't have

COVID immediately because we were you know Tim Dylan picked us up and we were scurried to the Joe Rogan studio not to be on the show but he He had to be on Joe Rogan. He didn't have time to take us back to his house.

Yeah. And we were just there being his hangers on. Yeah, well, that's not something I ever want to be, which might have led to a little bit awkwardness. Not that we were, but, you know, that was probably how we were perceived. Well, yeah, sure. And, like, and that led to some, on my part,

probably avoidable awkwardness with one. Well, but we show up. I'll get that in a second. I'll get that in a second. But once we show up, we're immediately tested. Yeah. You know, when you go to Joe Rogan show, you test. I don't think it's a secret.

Yeah. He tells people that. So we go there, we're tested. We show up negative. We're COVID-free at that point. And then at one point, yeah, Joe Rogan comes over. And look, I don't want to ever be the guy going, like, hey, I want to meet you. Right.

We've covered it for, like, as far as famous people. Maybe to a fault. Perhaps to a fault. I want. I don't think anyone. and would have thought, like, oh, what a cuck if you said, really nice to meet you. Yeah. I feel like I, well, yeah.

That might have been better. That might have been better than what I said, I guess. I think, look, he didn't come over to, like, you know, press the flesh with us. No. He just happened to come over to a lot. I think he had his own test or whatever. Yeah. And we were just standing there, like boobs.

Yeah. Like buffoons. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, robs in the city. Yeah. And he just went, like, who are these guys? And I said something to the effect of, because I want to make him clear, I'm not trying to get your autograph.

I'm not trying to get a picture. I'm not trying to be a friend. I wouldn't mind being his friend, but I'm not trying to worm my way to anything. Right? So I kind of, look, we know how I talk sometimes. Well, here's the thing. It started out fine.

Right. Because you said, we're friends of Tim Dillon. Perfectly reasonable thing to say. is yeah yeah well i always with tim's friends right uh and then immediately very quickly said he's picked us up in airport but like but he kind of like cut me off like by by like uh picked or up yeah like i get to finish the sentence he's like oh what's your he was to look for you and what's your name like oh i'm lucy or something and i had to be like i'm ray i did good i was like Kate Middleton.

You were like, a 40-year-old woman? I said, a famously 40-year-old woman? I shook his hand and I said, please to meet you. All right, well, you know. Like the, like the Duchess of Canberra? I wanted to put this man at ease. And, you know, like, and, look, it didn't matter. It's not like he was going to, if I had the right answer, he was going to bring me

on to the Joe Rogan experience. Like, hey, I should, I should have said, hey, I'm Ray from, I'm Ray come from the the comp podcast. He wouldn't have cared Like he don't give a shit Like he's not gonna be like If I say something like that Which is kind of evocative perhaps

Like what does that mean The comp, no he wouldn't care It's not like it's not like it'd be like Come from the Cump podcast He'd be like oh is that a good podcast No it's not conversation starter And I'm not trying to do that I'm just trying to let him know

That I'm not trying to like I'm not this is not a Hinkley situation Or who shot the the other one. Sir Hans, who is the other? It was Hinkley. Who's the other, who shot Reagan?

Hinkley? So who shot Lennon? Mark David Chapman. Yeah. Neither. I'm neither. Right? I'm just a guy.

You should have said I loved you on news radio. I mean, that might have been the move. I mean, I should, but I should have said, I love Phil Harmon on news radio. That might have been, that might have been something to say. But, yeah, no, it's fine. He's very gracious. I mean, he was just pleasant, you know, whatever. Not very, I mean, he just, he allowed us to be there.

Yeah. He didn't, he didn't, like, give us massages, not that I would have accepted. Well, I would have accepted, but I mean, like, what am I going to say no? Don't massage me? He's got, he's very strong guy. He'd probably give a good massage. He's very strong. Yeah.

I mean, he might gnarle my neck up, because he's, like, so strong with his hand grips. But, uh, I feel like my back, he'd really do some good work with me. Yeah. He'd be crushed your spine. You know, be careful. And they're thinking about it. The massage is to be careful. It's a little awkward, and then we sat around for three hours or whatever it was.

We hung out. We watched, you know, the pocket as it happened. It was good for Tim. It was good. Fun podcast. I had you, there was out like the whole thing. You know, Ben was like, you want some of this? You want some of that?

There's all sorts of like little treats. Tumoric coffee. The coffee's very good. There's like elk jerky. Am I spilling secrets now? Hope not. Hope I'm not speaking out of turn here. But I was very wired.

I was taking too much adoral probably. Yeah. Because I'm trying to stay awake because I haven't been up all night. And so I'm drinking this coffee. I'm getting dehydrated. And I didn't want the elk jerky, but I know I hadn't eaten in a long time. Like, you know, since like three o'clock the day before. Yeah.

So I said, you know, there was this elk jerky and I was doing keto. So I was like, why don't you put some elk jerky in your purse? You were so cagy about it. I came out with a little coffee from the coffee area. I sat down. You, like, lead over to me real close. You said, put this in your purse. Put this in your purse.

And it's, by the way, these are not, like, small servings of electricity. They're huge. They're big, long pieces of jerks. Yeah, it's like a foot and a half or something. If this jerky fucked you, you would have a good time. I'd be ruined if the jerky fucked me. You could take that. jerky well you know I'm not maybe it was I guess it wasn't not the

thickest thing it's thick and I mean look if you if you if you stack two of those jerkies on top of each other ooh oh you're not having a good you're gonna be walking weird yeah so anyway we I mean that was whatever we left I said goodbye at the end without any kind of weird like you know trepidation I just said nice to meet you and we I mean left so whatever yeah I didn't do anything wrong But the point of bringing that most of it was, but we knew at that point we didn't have the COVID. Right.

And then so we drove around, Tim took us to a Mexican place, one of the few restaurants that was actually decent in all of Austin. You remember what it was called? Ciscoes. We had some kind of very unusual egg dish. It was good.

It was good. The queso was good. And then we, you know, we drove around for a while. I don't know. We ended up going to the hotel, giving Tim his gifts, shower him with Nintendo Switch gifts. You got him a Switch. Now he's playing Switch, very nice.

I was starting to feel it, though. Yeah, like, you know, like the being up for too long. We recorded that first Patreon that we did. And I don't know, if he listened to that Patreon on Tim's feed, you can mind me tell I was getting a little delirious. I'm trying to trace back when we got COVID. Because at that point, I was feeling weird. When we got back to bed, I like, when we drank some of the rye,

we had some rye that Bennett given us, and I got to sleep. And I had one of those crazy math dreams, which is what happened when you take too much adornly, you try to stay up. You get like, like, you basically have me. What is a crazy math dream? It's just these weird dreams where you just kind of like see patterns the whole time. And like, it's very, it's very crazy. Is it like a beautiful mind patterns?

Well, here's, it's just kind of, they don't make sense. I'm not solving anything in my head. It's just like, boom, milk, like lights bursting in your head. But here's the thing, here's what I'm trying to get at. That might have been COVID, though. Like, it might not have been that, oh, I was thinking I stay up too late. Because you stay up too late, you get strung out and you have these weird dreams. And you sweat, you, I was, I was sweating.

I woke up in cold sweats all night. I probably had, that's probably when I had COVID. Yeah. No, I actually noticed that first night. because you fell asleep before me, but I noticed that, like, you were just like, you were coughing in your sleep. And I was like, ugh, this is bad.

And we had just been tested. So, you know, we were being responsible. Yeah. We thought the next day, we drove around all. We had some barbecue, I think. Yeah, very good barbecue. You know, a barbecue, very good. At that point, I didn't really, I felt fine.

I felt like I slept, like I slept it off or whatever. Not that I thought I had COVID. We just been tested. I didn't think I had COVID. So we drove around, just looking at houses. different houses in the Austin area leaf peeping houses right yeah it's just fine

and I said so I did fall asleep in the car randomly you did yeah we were driving when Tim was driving us to like wherever I was just like dozing off oh wow so like I think I highly had COVID we got back I felt ill I took a nap yeah I definitely had COVID at that point

so that's when we had COVID but I didn't think of it until the next day really. I mean, we didn't leave the hotel after that point. Once I died, COVID, I don't think it's it. I went to go to a clinic to get tested. They told me, well, we have all booked up that you can come, which seems bizarre, because it wasn't that full looking.

And it's like, if I, if I'm thinking, like, if I do have COVID, I'm just going to be infecting everyone here. Right. But, uh, especially with his Omicron thing. Right. But then Tim comes, like Tim calls me, like, what are you doing? And I was picky up, we'll try to find you,

because someone in the lobby said they had test kits at CVS so we went to CVS I got some tests we got back in the hotel I didn't think I had at that point I actually felt better that day but turned out I had COVID you didn't at that point no oh no did you test

you came up negative right I came out negative and then like the day after I came I tested positive right so that's the COVID story I mean we're like a couple days we felt better we just were very tired we watched a lot of science Yeah

We were in a hotel But we planned to leave Monday And we but we knew we couldn't because we were good people We were harpooned We were harpooned Yeah Called me a whale So we ended up staying in Austin

Tim's house He wasn't staying there but he has the back house The guest house So we just we basically settled in there Yeah And we spent an extra week in Austin Yeah and Tim I guess he has enough antibodies

and we got his little lawn furniture so we would talk we'd come come by we sit outside yeah and uh they got us groceries yeah he got us gross he made fun of the fact that i wanted you know penny pasta or something i'm like or you know but he got us like fucking he made fun the peni pasta right but he got us like uh this weird casso dip with brisket and like and what was the other thing like cornbread mashed potato or something mashed potatoes or something about big Oreo cake, which we did, which we did, well, we there are a week. I mean, we gradually did eat the cake, but I mean, we were very tired still. I, I'm not saying, like, I, oh, who we call a fucking pig would eat brisket, but it's just like, I can't tell you how unappetizing

it seemed. I'm sure it's tasty. But like, I mean, this is just too much. I just, I mostly ate crackers and jelly. With that, we'll get to that in a second. So we, there wasn't that much good food in Austin um no beyond tim really did take us to like the two great places yeah and and then you know because we were warned that the rest of it wasn't great oh right but we got we got water burger one that he went and got waterberg we got domino's first well dominoes wasn't very good um the first night there yeah you don't think it was like you think it was less good than new york domino i do i mean i've had good domino i i used to get domino sometimes like years ago like pepperoni pizza much better it was dry what was that noise we're being murdered by

dominoes people uh i you i think it was subpar dominoes yeah i think austa doesn't know how to do dominoes what shots fired shots fired uh and then what else was there there was uh he got water burger which i wasn't even i i confuse water burger with uh wall burger Wallberger is the burger joint that's founded by the Mark Warburg, I guess, and his brothers, maybe. Mark Wahlberg, who famously beat up an Asian man when he was younger. Oh, right, yeah. And, like, blinded him in one eye. Or you might also know him from I-Hare Huckabees.

Yeah, or the lovely bones. Oh, he wasn't. That's terrible movie. He was the father in the lovely bones. Yeah, but now he makes burgers. But this is not what it was. Wilder burger is a different thing. It's a very famous in Texas.

uh burger joint and they have this barbecue sauce burger didn't like it i'm gonna go out there the patty melt was okay but again a lot of stuff in in texas it's just like let's just shove sauces on things but not like new like not like in apocalypse now when you had chef and he's like a saucier right not that kind of thing just like shove barbecue sauce and maybe ranch and a case so it's like can we just like dial the back a bit yeah it's a lot of sauce yeah it's a lot of sauce yeah it's a lot of it's a lot of fry fried yeah which i'm not good like i can handle fry things right but like just very much everything's like everything's dialed up to a 10 or 11 uh and well that's me so that but it was fine the patty milk was fine i'm not trying to shit and everything

we had torches tacos we had torchies tacos one more like you know the noon let's just say like a little brunch this place is supposed to be amazing it's torches tacos I don't, like, again, they shove everything. There's, like, red onions and arugula and, like, probably not a rogola. Just, like, a slab of beef and then ranch and then, like, whatever. And then there's a fucking, you know, the trail of trash taco, whatever it's called. There's too much shit on these things. Just simple, like, have a couple ingredients.

You basically, you're, like, children. Texas is just like little kids who, like, take a fucking take, like, you know, it's like, radio fly when they made that goop remember when they radio fly when they made that goop that that was going to stop the king the guy they were stepped out and beaten them and they're shoving eggs and raw ground beef and like you know also and like and just like you know cigarette ash and everything into this blender or whatever was pot and they're cooking it that's what this stuff I bet I got that's what these tacos tastes is like they're the way I imagine that goop tastes it like just too much too much shit um and then what's the other awful thing we went to our seafood restaurant

in the last day when we like recovered and uh it was hideous it was uh yeah we had they brought out shrimp i was like how bad could the shrimp be they were covered in shrimp shit even if they're frozen they're probably good frozen shrimp are delicious these were like somehow not throw, I put them, I actually spit it out into a napkin. Yeah. Disgusting. Uh, you know, the poop, he was to remove that feces line. Yeah.

I've never seen a darker feces line on a shrimp. Yeah. And then like the, the fucking, you, you got some Caesar salad where it was just like, the cheese was just like in chunks. Yeah. Like, massive chunk, right? Like, it was like, it was bizarre looking. Yeah, it wasn't great.

And, uh, the, the fried fish sandwich was just like sand. That was a fancy seafood restaurant in Austin. we so we you you love the queer eye for the straight guy boys the new one which I think I think I like the old one but you like the new one I I don't watch all the episodes but wherever whenever there's like an old man with a beard you love the Santa Claus guys you love the guys who look like Santa Claus and usually like their wife is dead and they have to like you know use an ax a fucking angle grinder on your toes um you love it yeah so uh but uh yeah but they went to salt They went to the same restaurant, and, like, I don't know why. Because, I mean, that's why I don't trust these queer eye guys. And, you know, the chef guy, the chef guy in the queer eye group. Yeah. Really, like, forced his gumbo recipe on this guy.

He raped this man. Yeah, no, he raped him with a gumbo. He didn't give him one inch. I mean, we're not. He was just like, what do you think of that? What about throwing this in the gumbo? And this guy is a professional, like, that style chef, you know. That style?

The old man is, like, has, like, been running a restaurant. And that style of food for his life. Right. Seafood place, too. And this young, you know, queer eye guy is just being like, should we put corn in the gumbo? And he's like, I don't know about that. And he's like, let's just put it in. Try it.

Because, like, you know, like his business is failing. It's like Gordon Ramsey, which leverage Gordon Ramsey has. But then they make them always say, you like this, right? You like this? This is good? Are you enjoying this? We're going to change the entire way you look and act and talk. You like this?

No, tell me about your dead wife. Yeah. Oh, why don't you meet another woman? No, I just, I don't, I don't, as long as you have your soulmate. Nope. No. Go fuck something.

I'm going to call bullshit. Yeah. No, it's like, literally this guy was talking about it. I was like, my wife was my soul make made it. I'm old. And I just, I just don't feel like finding another partner. And the guy's like, I'm going to call bullshit on that.

And that's, you know, and that's where we went. It wasn't very good. So, look, the food, whatever. it's not very eventful people thought it was like crazy you know what we were we got better in three days for the most part we were so tired yeah it wasn't bad I mean are people dying of omicron I mean hospitals are filling up but we never went to the doctor really you know we can go get treatment we just slept yeah um I wonder how much of that is just people like how much of the the kind of stress on the hospitals is just people who test positive for

COVID and just go in, like regardless of how they're feeling. Like it's like, yeah, for sure. I'm sure a lot of people do that. And they have to, but they, look, they're not going to give you monocall antibodies because we did like, you know, we were talking to them about that. Yeah. He's, you know, he's a big fan that when he got COVID. Now, he probably got the other variant.

Right. But apparently in Texas, there's a thing where it was like they were, they were, they run out of it and, you know, how much the speculation about it. Or maybe not speculation. Maybe it's didn't research just that much. But the government. was cutting off supply. I don't know.

I don't know. But we, like, it wasn't, it wasn't an option. It was like on the news. So, I mean, look, that's something you might do. Omicron is supposed to be

like less severe. It seemed less severe to me. We didn't lose taste or smell. I wish we did with some of this goddamn food. We didn't, you know, we didn't have like a big chest infection or anything. We just had a cough for a few days.

I don't know. It's, look, we are vaccinated. We didn't get boosted. We meant to get boosted before we left. whether you agree with that whatever but you know we were like we travel we might as well and uh but once obercrone hit like he couldn't even get a booster shot for like two weeks and now it's like i don't know boost i don't even leave the apartment so whatever uh but whatever so i don't know if people if he don't get vaccinated you get so i don't know i'm not the ex i'm not

dr fouchy walking around with like you know bat like a bat wing like a bat like a dark wing duck or whatever he is just telling everyone that's not my job so whatever we were back with that story too long but I don't know I mean I feel like people want to hear about it it's not like I wish I had a better COVID story yeah I wish I you know oh yeah like Lucy I did to puncture Lucy's lung with a pen because she was filling over fluid we couldn't get to a hospital so I just stabbed her with with a hello kitty pen in the lung and I drained out the liquid into my mouth I spit it out like why I put my mouth first I don't know just to make sure that it was good that it was good um how do you think Austin compares to Richmond uh the city seemed night I just we

we didn't spend much time in the city except for the hotel right but it was it was nice there was a nice Christmas in the air I'll say that much crispness in the air crispness in the year, not Christmas in the year. There was also Christmas in the air. There wasn't much Christmas. They didn't really have a big Christmas thing going on. The hotel we were at was very Christmassy. It was.

The hotel was Christmassy, but outside the hotel, it might as well have been the Satan's, Satan's weekend of Bernie's. Yeah. Because there was nothing going on with Christmas. I feel like there was one other Christmas, like when I was young, where I was like, I went, we were like in a hotel for some reason. Like my family was in a hotel. Okay.

And like it. And you also got COVID? Yeah. I had forgotten, but this trip reminded me. It's like, yeah, actually, like, hotels are, like, really nice on Christmas. I mean, I don't know how they in this, but I mean, this is a nice hotel. I don't want to, like, say where we were. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, Tim put this up. It was a nice place. You know, I mean, I don't think the motel six does a really big spread on Christmas. But, yeah, we got, we got, like, hot chocolate at one point. And it was just like, you know, like those are the marshmallows and weird little fruits. And it was nice. I don't know if you get that at a fuck hotel.

In a Chelsea hotel, whatever was called. That's a nice place. The guy who robbed my family outside of the Motel 6 was wearing a Santa suit. That's nice. Look, he's sitting there going to go, and like, look, I'm going to, I'm going to give you the threat of rape. And I'm going to give you the threat, the real threat of a gun. There's the implied threat of a rape. real threat of a gun but i'm not basically it's still christmas yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna tell this little

girl i'm gonna torture your mother if you don't give me your hello kitty pen the same pen i use to drain you i mean that there's no pen at all you didn't even like hello kitty do you um did i ever like i don't think i ever like i love hello kitty i would love to have i mean i probably dream about hello kitty sometimes in that delirious covid state um so i don't know Is there any other, anything you've learned from having COVID? Um, I, did I learn anything from having COVID? I mean, you, you didn't think it was real, right? You thought it was a fake disease.

Yeah, well, yeah, and I still do. So I've heard nothing. I, on the other hand, think it's, think it's exists. I think it, look, it might exist. It might. Of course it does, by the way. We don't, we, look, we don't, we, we, we, we, we, we fly. to the radar because no one watches it i mean relatively yeah we're not a big channel right

we're not like we're not when these channels are going off about lebron james like we just watch before we started you really hate that guy that guy's the worst quartering i don't know what he's called he's like he's like he doesn't like me there's no amber me whatever i don't know i'm whatever anyway but i guess that's name so if it gets out to him whatever i'm not backing down right i'll get into a fight but i mean let's do this a feud would be good with yeah i just hate the way his beard looks in the way he fucking talks shit and like has like 15 nicknames for lebron you gotta get your ass kick guy not by me i mean i could probably but whatever i'm not threatening anybody but like you're just running him out one lebrun's friends might hit him i would laugh so much

anyway we're moving on um did we cover what what tab urges what's that mean well oh water i wrote water burger but said what tamperges and you know they're correct change your name to what tab urges uh we'll cover this week's batman this is a good guy no it's a bad guy really he's actually a bad guy this is the omega batman i picked them for this week because it kind of sounds like or macron which we had that's the only reason i picked them not a great batman he's from that remember the batman that was carrying the joker head in the jar yes he's from that comic is he like a venom batman no he kind of looks like venom what do you think it's two different It's not, that's Marvel.

He gives some crossover. Maybe. Like this shitty version of Batman. I bought this version of Batman because here's the, it's from that one with the jarhead guy. You know, the guy with the Joker jar. It's called Last Night on Earth. I got the whole set of that one because I wanted to build that bane, which we also featured on the show with the scarecrow on his back.

Right. So you had to get all the all five figures and that's it. This is Omega Batman. He's, look, I'll go over quickly. I was trying to refresh my memory because I didn't even remember. He comes into the end. He's Bruce. wing right like you're the batman's in the protagonist but he's like a time traveler or some

shit or the dimension shit and this is like a different batman this is the one of that universe and uh i'm gonna read this until it stops makes stops making sense so probably about five seconds uh let's see omega omega bama omega is a villainous version of bruce wayne from the limited comic series Batman Last Night on Earth Oh, it's last night Did I say it before? After society fell apart

Through the machinations of Lex Luthor Bruce gave up his ethics as Batman And became the tyrannical ruler Of a post-apocalyptic earth Seems kind of lazy Um I mean why is Lex Lutzer fucking around I mean I know he's a bat

He's technically a D.C guy But he's bringing in I mean He's like he's watched the Joker just murder his Robbins left and right Right He's like watching a Joker Rape and kill

But like Lex Lutter Fucked around And so I'm gonna get evil Doesn't make sense to me I mean like what kind of dictator is he He brutally kills people He controls the being guy But isn't he just a guy

I mean I understand that like he's very He's powerful because of all of these accessories And the suit and the in the means and the fun sure you wouldn't think money would fall apart at that point but whatever but like yeah but like how do that how does he keep people from revolting does he have a court he knows karate i mean it's like a lot of people most people are dead it seems like a lot of deserts in that comic i mean this guy doesn't even seem like is that like i mean hitler seemed more intimidating than this yeah i mean if you're made a dictator like

Stalin had all that pomp and circumstance, pomp and ceremony. Right. What am I, they say it right? Pumping. Is it pompous circumstance? That can be right. Pumping, is it pomp in ceremony? Probably, yeah.

I just don't see like Bruce Wayne whipping people up into a frenzy. He's too low-key. He just wants to like sit around jumping off buildings, stopping rapes. Probably, I mean, like, every time he stops the rape, be like, how long were you watching for right you know it's like whatever but the fact he's gonna now he's like you know he's going to be the uh the dictator of the desert i don't know i pick the i i really is the worst batman this is a shitty batman i should i should burn this batman i don't like it i mean it's just kind of boring we should do it for the patreon if yeah we'll do well maybe we'll do that on the

on the cum-dump tier, because that's because we'll set it on fire. Yeah. And we'll pray to buy from it, right? The famous demon that a lot of the other people pray, the demons pray to. Yes, yeah. Or just people sometimes. So it's not, look, a lot of times these Batman's great conversations. This is one, this is how shitty this Batman is.

I can't even think of anything to talk about. Oh, how would you try, I mean, how would you try to defeat? was a dictator dictator batman make him look like m bison from street fighter bring up m bison really quick who's that m bison m bison yeah okay that's a dictator that he's got the red coat he's got the hat that look that guy looks like Stalin yeah totally you need to have he happens of a cape but you need to have like the shoulder things that's a big thing what they call those things. Loretts. So you wouldn't

try and defeat him. You would just try to help him be a better dictator? Oh, I thought you mean if I was making Batman a dictator. Oh. How would I defeat him? Yeah. I shoot him with a gun. My gun hand. What are we talking about here? I mean, like Batman's really good because he's just like here's the thing. When you try to make Batman is like extra net level genius, it's not that he's the smartest guy. I mean, oh, he's a smartest guy in the world. He studied everything. He is very

smart. I believe in the comic canon, he is like, one of the the world's greatest detective what it really should be is that for a for a guy who is a massively wealthy guy who happens eccentric and like works out and trains and does all those crazy shit and uses his like insane wealth for this strange purpose he happens to be a pretty good detective that's what it should be right yeah i mean real detectives just like ignore prostitutes getting murdered so the bar's kind of low i mean what's the clearance rate in baltimore or even new york I don't think it's that high So to be the world's greatest detective

It's like, well, you paid attention to the horror murder You didn't ignore it Cool, you're the greatest detective in the world now You know you didn't shoot a kid? Cool That is so true

As you know Like I listen to, you know Enough like more than plenty Like serial killer Podcast stuff No, it's your fetish And it really It really is true

That it's like The bar for like a great detective And a lot of these like Stories is about serial killers. It's just that, like, they don't, like, piss on a prostitute as they're dying from Sacken's, like, like, the top 10 detectives in the world, you ask him, like, well, what's your secret?

I interviewed a family. What? Yeah, no, I talked to them, and I asked them, you know, what they, you know, if anything happened, and they tell me the information. A lot of times that solves it. That's because no one does that, apparently. I know it's hard to get it. It's hard.

It's not like CSI. no one's just coming all over the crime scenes and luminal and all that that being said like you know uh whatever but i when a woman is you know giving me information about a crime that was committed i listened to her instead of uh you know just masturbating violently and calling her whore biting her tits i'll finish the job if you don't come go come to the salt traitors with me have torches tacos i mean all my witnesses there's a toni torches tacos and we have a wife beater taco if it's called this is a wife beater what is it it's just full of mace that doesn't stop me from beating my wife right right am i right

am i right or what yeah look very true uh so we'll move on from that that was a look at it wasn't bad See, you'll make a Batman conversation started slow. Yeah. But we got some of our fun with it. Shit, Batman. We're going to burn this Batman. Yeah. Hate him.

So I have, I do have an affliction that I feel like it's worse than COVID. And what's that? I have psoriasis. And I've had it for years. It's just, it's basic. So that is psoriasis. Yeah. I didn't know.

I didn't know you, I had, you had psorias until yesterday when you told me. I've told you. don't listen to me when I talk um that's not true i i feel like i whatever you you just think i have really dry elbows which i may do but i mean it's not like i don't know what you think i feel like whatever i ask you about your elbows are just like i got rashes no i said i said i have psoriasis i mean whatever i mean this is just very it's very hurtful you keep you at arm's length i don't want to worry you about my sarah it's just it's it's it's a dryness it's exceptional dryness i don't know what causes it. I've gotten

waitments before from dermatologists, whatever. But I haven't treated it in a while. It flares up from time of time. And so my elbows have gotten pretty like crazy looking in the past couple weeks. It's flared up. But I don't feel like going on a dermatologist, but my

health insurance, I can just and I've done this with like, you know, other stuff like regular doctor shit. You can just like basically call them. You go on their website and you call them and they'll call you back. You put your information they call you back and then they talk to them and they won't give you antibiotics for some reason

because they're assholes but whatever but if they do give you medicine they just put it right I have a pharmacy delivers easy peasy and I wasn't sure but I checked and this wasn't covered in my insurance I'd pay like 40 bucks but they had dermatology so brilliant

so all I do is fill out some forms but then they're like we want some pictures so I had to send two pictures of just my like my weird inflamed elbow to this doctor I think it was a woman yeah which is oh she's a professional shouldn't matter but it feels very creepy it feels like I'm sending a dick pick yeah I mean if you were a doctor and you saw my awful I don't even want to show people it's very it should I show people if you're comfortable I'm not comfortable yeah it's right people are going to use that against me

uh but these deformed looking elbows this doctor's got like you know or she's stealing I mean she's people getting off to my elbows I mean look She might be getting I mean why would you choose that profession I mean you you you got freaked out Because like you know you I was putting out

I was scratching them so much You're bleeding And then I started putting alcohol on them Yeah And I was like wincing because they burn That's they know it works It burns it hurts a lot Like you know

And so you and you Thought I was like dying or something Yeah you were just like you were wailing in pain right and i was just like and then i saw the redness it looked a little different than usual yeah i thought you had burned yourself this is why i want to show them because you judge me you're judging me so hard oh terrible uh so anyway so i just feel very weird but i got some ointment coming tomorrow but just feel weird now some some woman i've ever even met has seen my disgusting elbows yeah don't are you jealous uh that you've seen your elbows yes i mean um um

little bit i mean i feel like i should be the one prescribing you ointments but you're not doctor yeah you can't i've told you a million times like fake get illegal pad or or just fake a prescription pads i can probably make whatever they're selling at the pharmacy we can make here i'll just get i'll just get out some coke and i don't take chemistry in college no about like some quack i'm just going to mix together some coconut oil and some neosporin and maybe some whiskey And, you know, you just slather that on. This is an affliction. This is, it's called psoriasis.

What are you going to do if I have diatriculitis? You're going to give me a fucking shot of gin? How do you think, look, how do you think people solve these problems when they were pioneers? Women made concoctions. They died. They all died at the age of 20. And they all died in childbirth. What are you talking about?

Not if they had good wives who would make them. The wives died in childbirth. Who would make them nice concoctions. terrible in the kitchen the Omaha Trail or the Oregon Trail was littered with bodies these people died to death you have to understand that the kitchen was everything in the pioneer days in a kid in a in a log cabin you it was it was they all had cholera it was your pharmacy it was your dinner place they burned witches it was your apothecary they burned women as witches because they had sex

They masturbated. It's like, you must be a witch. I mean, look, I think most of them were just like, you know, living off the land

and struggling. I don't think, I don't think most of them had the free time. They cheered. They might not tie them to the stake, but they cheered and said whore.

Look, they looked up, they were like, they had a hoe in their hand. And looked up, you know, I guess you're the hoe. Enjoy burning.

And they went back to work. I agree. They weren't like, spending all the time. But they were like, yay yay birder well look they didn't have they didn't have amc plus amc plus what are you talking about you know it's a streaming app they don't they didn't have the streaming app which we used to watch a bad men and so but that's a they didn't have foobie

i have that i have that tv right but i we we do have that i still have psoriasis we're talking about craziness um i just wanted you know this is ludicrous What you're saying. The things you're saying are. I think it's very, I think it's a, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't at least offer to make you ointments? You're going to like strap me.

You're going to be like Kathy Bates of Misery one day. Strap me to a bed, hobbling me, and feeding me weird concoctions like meatloaf mixed with like, you know, cat food. This is like, this is holistic medicine, you fat fuck. that's going to be you that's what you're revealing to me now so I'll be nice though

I love you so I'll look forward to that do you buggin' feeding me Jesus Christ is scary speaking of COVID which you weren't but someone very close to you as COVID not me

who is a woman it's a woman okay uh very very is she a friend of mine i think i mean is a friend of mine have i related to her no you're related to her uh but you you have a lot in common okay you both very irrational you both you both believe in pipe dreams um you both uh very loud a oc alexandria acazio cortez has covid oh god

what does this mean for the green new deal what happens now i mean she's gonna give us that does this mean the squad is compromised how often it's the squad hang out you think they saw a new spider-man movie together i'm honestly surprised that there aren't like probably i'm surprised that there aren't like kind of tabloid articles about like cat fights within the squad like you know rachita talib calling uh you know iana presley a bald bitch who's i anna presley bring her up

she's a fourth member calling a o c no one knows who ianna presley is honestly like someone's got to bring us up there's four people in the squad she's part of the squad yeah she's in the squad she never comes up she never comes up as a sec is what she is an african-american woman

yeah i feel like i feel like she doesn't get she gets the shorter to the stick uh yeah No, she's the lost member of the squad. Yeah, I mean, why would they cover her more? Is that right? I mean, I'm not trying to, like, fang the flames of racist. Well, I think there was, like, a falling.

I guess this is the drama. There was, like, I think there was a falling out at some point because most of the squad, like, supported Bernie, but she supported Hillary. Oh, it's a bad move. Yeah, I don't know. How would she ported a squad if she supported Hillary? I don't even, but to be fair, I don't even know if, like, she considered herself part of the squad or if she just got lumped in there with everyone else. We need four people. Three people can't be a squad.

They should have gotten burning in the squad. why is it Bernie in the squad I mean honestly they got some Hillary person Bernie's like the squad's dad Why they keep showing her bald is she bald Well she has a I forget what it's called Yeah yeah that

Oh okay Cool But no like Bernie Sanders is kind of like The Charlie to the squad's angels Yeah but they should just lumped him in He should have been But the point is AOC is

cancer no uh COVID is is it uh is she on a ventilator I don't know I I read the you know highlights of it let's see if I can find something on it I mean are you are are you are you ready to step up so I become replace her what would be what would be your pitch to the other three members of the squad or two and a half whatever you know I would say look I don't know I I don't know how effective I'm going to be I'm not even particularly interested in politics, but, you know, I won't, like, go to the med gala. You know, my pitches? What?

You ladies are living in a pipe dream. It's fantasy land. We need to play dirty. We need to perhaps get into a Sandy Hook game. I don't know. Sandy Hook game. I'm just saying. Wait, what's the Sandy Hook game?

I don't know. I'm saying, like, you dabble in some conspiracy theory stuff. People get the no one wants to hear about your original basic income A Green New Deal They want to hear about Q and on shit They want to hear about so like look Why are you letting the Republicans have Q&on? That's why I would say this was

Why are you letting the right own that So you fight for Q&on Do you think Like Ilhan Omar should start doing Q drops Look Do I think she's sure? Should? That's the conceptual question. Do I think she'd be the president within four years if she did? Absolutely. She would run the table. What if Ilhad Omar just started saying like really nice things about Trump all the time? I mean, that would be a man. Look, that's the strategy. That would be the move. He's not in power anymore. You got nothing to really. I mean, not now. He might be back in a couple years. Yeah. What if he dies? Well, it won't count if he dies. What if he becomes like a vegetable? or something.

What? Well, explain that. All right. What if Trump becomes a vegetable and there's no chance that he's going to be president? You want me to see him in Colbert for a second? Yeah. Ask that again. Okay.

What if Donald Trump becomes a vegetable? Oh, he's already a carrot. That's one edgy guy. Fuck. He was so good and strangers with candy. Yeah. I know you didn't like the Colbert report, but I love the Colbert report. I didn't dislike it.

I just didn't love as much as you. I thought it was a little, like, it was an idea that, like, after a few years, I felt like, you're running a course, but whatever. But on Strange, Strangers with Candy was an amazing show. And now he's with these fucking vaccine dancing syringes. Oh, that was just terrible. Like, crying every five seconds. I don't know. Does he cry?

I thought that Jimmy Kimmel was more of the cry. I mean, I got, I mean, the fact that Jimmy Kimmel's crying. Yeah. You know, wasn't he in, like, Wendy City Heat? Yeah. She was on the man show. Oh, my kids, my kid's sick. Well, good thing you're rich.

I guess it's a good thing you're rich. What are you to do? I don't want to see. Oh, men shouldn't cry. I don't think anyone should cry. Stop crying. I cry. You know when you should cry?

Forrest Gump. When Jenny dies of AIDS. That's where you hold these, hold your tears for that. Right. Or if your kid dies, I guess. But now if your kid's sick. you know he's going to panic your kid um i can't find this article but we're assuming she has symptoms of covid she's probably fine i don't want to be out there going medical doctor going

like omicron's fine uh but people going to hospitals i don't know i i felt nothing almost not nothing i mean i i checked for a reason but like you know it doesn't it wasn't from us it wasn't that bad it wasn't that bad people are actually he's got somebody I messaged me was like oh I'm like I'm overweight like you and I spoke like you know I just says positive or you're okay I'm like yeah fine right except he's like I'm really freaked out like I message it back but it's just like I don't know

are we transitioning to a thing where it's like it's still an issue I think because like if everyone gets COVID at once then you will be tired right you can't just like keep going to work it's a bitch yeah but it's like you know people i'm i don't want to tell people to stop worrying like you know i'm not saying don't take precautions but like if you get it you know i don't think it was ever a death sentence per se of course it wasn't you know people died but you know right yeah but now it just seems like uh i i think a oc you probably be fine right am i am i am i a fucking anti-faxer for saying that I don't want to be.

I just think she'll probably be fine. What's the story? Like, is our people say she's being dramatic about having COVID? No, no one's saying anything.

You're saying that. Oh. But yeah. So AOC has COVID. I mean, if she does, if she loses her taste and smell, can she still be a congresswoman?

Would you vote for someone who can't smell? And be careful how you respond. would i i mean if it was a big part of their identity no but well name one person like buffalo like some tracker no no i mean if they made not being able to smell a big part oh look look i can live in the bullshit because i can't smell it I'm going to go to Washington and I'm just going to not smell what's coming

I'm trying to picture it like I might not be able to smell but I'll be able to sniff out what's going on in Washington you said you can't smell terrible you're right I wouldn't vote for that person you're right

it's awful I may not be able to smell but I have a nose for governance. I may not be able to smell. But I didn't murder those children. People are saying I did. I had nothing to do with that.

I can't even smell. How would I find these kids? Doesn't even make sense. Shut up. Elect me. You found the article? There are a bunch of articles. Some are neutral.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez test positive for COVID. It's pretty neutral. And then there's this one. AOC reveals she has COVID after partying maskless at a Miami drag branch. Wow. Are they accusing drag people of being COVID vectors? Yeah.

I mean, technically they are because everyone is, right? Yeah. I want to see what the article. Click it. The drag lunch thing. Look at. Give me some of the bullet points. The Democrat Congresswoman reveals sheer diagnosis Sunday night.

she said she is experiencing undisclosed symptoms and is recovering at home. Last week, AOC was spotted enjoying a drag brunch in Miami where she got up close and personal with fans at the outdoor event. It was outdoors. Yeah, it's probably fine. I mean, honestly, we got it so quick. We didn't have it at the Rogan studio and then we had the day later. So I don't know if a week, you know, I don't know if his numbers are even thing anymore.

I'm not here to defend AOC. I want to take her job or like, you know, manipulate her job. you know yeah sure but that being sad i don't think she got there probably uh there's a baby that was lost in afghanistan and the airlift go i remember a few months ago when we left we we ended the 20-year war in afghanistan there's a big best people just you know clinging to airplanes um turn it off you're being distracted what i'm sorry i need i I need you to pay attention.

I'm very sensitive. Go ahead. Sorry. You remember how we were, we were, the airlift, they call it, the Afghan airlift. Apparently, they lost a baby.

Okay. Now, if they only lost one baby. This would be a great, they should have saved the Home Alone sequel because this would be a great premise for it. Well, I mean, I think you're forgetting Baby's Day Out. Oh.

Imagine Baby's Day Out, but it's a baby crawling through Afghanistan. Like, you know, look up Baby's Day Out. Who's in? It was Joe Montania, I think, and Joe Pantalione. Yeah, right? Joe, yeah. Joe Montagnan. Laura Flynn Boyle.

Who was the third guy? Was it? Jacob Joseph. He didn't do much of that career. But yeah. But basically the idea is like these bopsers to try to get the baby for some reason. He witnessed a murder, I guess.

And they won't kill it. And this baby keeps just crawling around and accidentally, like, home alone, he's like viciously hurting people. Right. But his baby's just like crawling on two by fours and then they're falling onto the guys. But imagine that in Afghanistan.

Like he just, like, he, like, the U.S. government's trying to murder this baby. Because, like, we left him behind. He has information. Or he can be used. Look, here, the movie starts out with like a montage of the airlift, right? And they come to the Pentagon, the situation, the white house situation room.

Presidents there, joint chiefs. President, we lost a baby in the airlift. You go, wow, that's a problem. Yes. Yes. And we have to kill it. Are you sure you have to kill what he says? Are you sure?

Well, here's a situation. That baby could be. used as a hostage to get us to do something and we can get us to stop bombing people so we have to kill it first so they go to drone strike the baby

basically the whole movie is them drone striking the baby but just missing right and then the babies get other people trying to kidnap the baby in Afghanistan right because they're not wrong yeah which here's about I don't want to say that the US government's right to do this to kill this baby but there are people trying to kidnap

for some reason and so you have like he's like doing a drone like the guy's trying to kidnap him and the baby like jumps on the guy's head and then like and then like jumps away or he freaks out and he throws the baby and then the drone strike hits the guy

stuff like that yeah fun stuff like that oh man I think it'd be a good movie it's called cumps baby day comes baby day because we got to plug the podcast yeah I mean, this would be just an amazing movie, an instant classic.

It would be the movie to end all life. Now, whose baby is this? Well, look, I don't know, but here's, I only told you half the story. Right. I don't mean if it's to load. Baby, here's the article. Baby lost in chaos of Afghanistan airlift, found. Return to family after a long ordeal.

But what happened in between still? Right. That's the story. I mean, Kabul, an infant boy handed in desperation to a soldier

across an airport wall in the can. Well, that's, I mean, who hands a baby to a soldier across the airport wall?

I don't understand. I mean, look, I could see myself doing it. What's a song? Look, did you see Abu Ghraib? Who's handing

these guys babies? Hey, you take this. No, mind of a do. I mean, I don't think, old soldiers would do something bad to a baby.

But I don't know, like, how bad is it in Afghanistan where you're like, I know it's bad. Well, it's like, they know, they know the Taliban's coming back into power. It just seems short-sighted to be like... And they're looking at this baby, and then the mother's probably thinking, like, this baby is definitely gay. I should give it to a U.S. soldier. Get it out of here. Who's assuming their baby's gay in Afghanistan? I mean, like...

I'm just saying that that might be one reason, because a mother knows sometimes. It's almost never the case. Have you ever heard a coming out story? I mean, like, sometimes it's like it's nice. A lot of times the parents are very vicious. Yeah, well, sure. Sometimes. Those mothers don't know or they choose nothing.

I don't know. But I'm imagining this is a progressive mother. She knows. She has a great intuition. I mean, I don't know. I don't want to like slander this woman. And look, if the baby isn't gay, that's fine. I don't think they don't the baby was gay.

But if the baby is gay, you don't want it in Afghanistan when the Taliban rolls into town. I understand. I understand that. You know, sure. That would, that could be true. I mean, I would choose to raise my gay son. Oh, oh. Well, aren't you the, are, don't you have the moral high ground, Mr.

You know, first world. We have a curing. And we just, we're just so moral about what we would do. People get very mad about having a curing. Yeah. I guess we were mentioned already. But, you know, we're saving, trust him. We're saving plastic.

Because we're just not ordering 15. poppies all day. That being said, here you are just sitting in the lap of luxury, judging this woman for safe. It worked out. It worked out. I'm just saying my personal thing. I don't know if I'm like some soldier with a gun.

I'm like, hey, take. I'm like, look at the Taliban. You raise it. Hey, you want a baby? It just seems so crazy. It's not, it's not like a UN person or like a social worker. It's like a soldier. I mean like

What if he has to shoot somebody? He's going to drop the baby It's just look I'm glad it worked out I'm just surprised it worked out Sure I could read the rest of the article But I won't

I don't know what happened Well good Good for that baby For finding its way back We're going to wrap this up To the US There was one thing we want to do Before we go

There was a On the Patreon last week we covered lucy has a new fascination with these compilations on youtube from tic-tok i've been i've been so obsessed with these yeah they're they're girls exposing their toxic friends yeah and it's a very good episode you can check it on the page but we had this is the initial one that we didn't actually have we couldn't find at the time

that really did that got me peeked into this too and like and lucy finally found it yeah um this is just a little taste we did more of these on the A lot more than we, you know, and you can listen to me, you know, being a teenage girl. Yeah. And going after Lucy. It's a lot of fun. But we wanted to just play, just play the one, right? Yeah.

And this one is a gem. Yeah, this is a great one. Hey, so what's that up? What? Shut up. You're so annoying. What's your problem with me? I know we came here to talk, but like, oh, my God.

What's Happened Okay literally Do you remember Christmas Like we've been French for a long time You remember Christmas? Yeah So I bought you that

Expensive James Charles Pallet Right That might cost me money You bought me Expensive James Charles James Charles James Charles Who's a big like makeup

Right Yeah So I bought the expensive James Charles Pallel That cost me money Yeah Go on Yeah

Picked your frame With the picture money you bought me that cheap picture frame with the picture of us in it and a hair in note like that's stupid that costs no money it was literally the open one notes that everyone gets

what's that mean how brutal that is you get a nice like sentimental gift for your friend like a picture frame and a picture of you and a handwritten note it just goes that is that's bullshit I feel like I'm on this piece of shit I feel like I'm on the side

of all the toxic people Really? You're on the side of the She spent so much money on James Charles Pallet Yeah but like look You're doing the gift exchange at the same time Presumably This isn't like something like madman

Where it's like I give you a car But then you give me a picture of the Your real dad Who like you abandoned years ago When you start crying because you're rich anyway Either two like high school girls Yeah no that's true But they're, you know, they're doing it.

She doesn't know who the tax is, what the toxic one was going to get her, right? So she goes, Well, she probably could assume it wouldn't be something that costs no money. Right? I mean, like, maybe. Maybe you're right. I mean, the way that's dog. Maybe this girl thought maybe she was being a little bit coy where she was like,

well, this is so sentimental that she's not going to be able to call me out on it. Right. Like, I'm just going to put like, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to put the, word cancer on the frame and I'm gonna like for no reason and I'm gonna like and uh put some poem like this is us when we were happy we're talking about bitch but um yeah I don't know I mean if I in real life I guess you just don't exchange gifts yeah next year or you give her a fucking gun right pointed out of her right you give her you give her a bullet in that oof oh it's one potential thing but uh yeah I don't know I

It seems like she's real cheap. She got this James Charles Pallett and gave nothing in return. I was the worst gifts I've ever gotten. It could be a month to write all of them. Well, hate to break it to you, but that was awful. And I feel like I deserve more. Are you kidding me?

I mean, she's right. She's right. She's right. So these are the toxic women. Yeah. No, there are so many of these. yeah they're fun they're fun i mean and they all have this very you know to be very classic it's a classic teenage girl cadence right you fucking bitch shut out bitch shut

out what i can't believe you got me this this is just i got you the james charles palette and you got me this picture of my dad who died it's just didn't cost any money you fucking bitch I'm gonna cut you what I mean like what do you think she should have gotten her you give you like so hey I mean look

you come at come in me you're you're the girl who gave the frame you come back a day later you got me a new gift okay what you want bitch I got you a new gift oh you got me a bit what is it a bunch of sticks and mud is that we got me what you got me what's a six in mud You hobo

I got you You rants of bitch hobo What cut you? You get at my house What you want What is it Let me see what I got Is it a James Charles Pallet

Uh No You give it back I didn't want to just copy you So I got you something else What did you get me I got you a cell phone case For your new cell phone

And it's like it's You got both cell phones And you get a case right away It's very fragile No but this is like a really cool case it's got like pink and it's diamonds on it and then there's like a little cut out

and then I put a picture of us in the cutout these diamonds are the hardest material in the world right right in your face right in your face bitch doesn't what you get scrape your face bitch

wasn't our best improv no it wasn't great uh it was fun those are funs you know enjoy that um let me found that I love these so much There, so we will, like, if you can find some more, we'll follow it up. It feels a little strange to be watching so many conversations between teenage girls.

It'd be weird for me. So that's why have you, you know, called, what's the word per? Curating them for me, yes. But maybe we'll make it a part of the show. Every week we'll do a toxic girl. Yeah, it'll be like a Batman. Yeah. It'll be a Batman and a toxic girl.

So, anything you want to plug? Um, I don't think so. Do you have anything you want to? Sure. Look, you sign up for the Patreon. You get an extra episode every week. I mean, you cover great stuff like this. Very funny.

And, uh, you know, enjoy that. And, uh, you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Ray Kump. We'll see you guys next week. Have a great week. Goodbye. Thank you.