Kump - Ep. 155 Joe Jonas, Hanson, Jimmy Fallon, Hamster Wheel

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

Ray and Lucie discuss the Jonas Brother divorce, Lucie's Hanson obsession, Jimmy Fallon's toxic tonight show, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to cop hello, hello Lucy. Hi. How are you? I'm good. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll be a okay but was it now i'm not feeling great well why are you not feeling great because uh i don't know there's a lot of look there's a lot of tragedy in the news today really yeah what kind of uh is some kind of you talk about the the depleted uranium the depleted uranium the depleted uranium

being sent to the ukraine is that what you're referring to i mean look i guess you could say that's tragic i guess you could say war is you're talking about the the crackhead in its own way the crackhead who claims uh that he uh had relations in the limo with with a with our great former president is that we were referring to the pain the pain caused to michelle obama wait i i'm totally lost on that story i guess what is that we didn't know about we don't even on our rundown will you summarize that what's uh basically we'll get to that later because that's that you know that we might get dinged in the algorithm for that for discussing we get we get more raunchy later on okay so stay tuned got it um

so what are you referring to you're did some country get invaded another country get invaded look that's not the only kind of sad thing out there people dying people getting their limbs blown off that's not like the the only thing sad that ever happens it's barely even sad i guess yeah sometimes the tragedy is that two um beautiful young people fall out of love. Are you talking about Kate Middleton and the prince? Who were referring to here? I'm talking about American royalty,

although they're British, right? The guys of happy days? Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner. Oh, the Jonas brother. Yes, this is very sad. So for all of you don't know, did you grow up with the Jonas brothers? Was that your thing?

No, I was already, I was past the age where people it was usually like 15 year olds and stuff who were into them right I don't know no 12 year olds I don't I don't know what age people start attacking men women start attacking men because they're they sing well I never had that problem I was never a Jonathan Taylor Thomas type I was never assaulted on the streets and forced to reveal my wishes these girls aren't even ready to go they want they want to know what you're are and your dreams imagine that imagine me to be chased through a mall and then when they find you they don't even know what to do with you they just they just ask you like what

what's your favorite color and what kind of hamburger you like to suck on suck down some arby's i was that way with handsome you were wow yeah you were you were you got how old were you i was i was pretty young i was like i think nine or 10 or something like You would nine or ten. It seems a little old for Hansen. Now Hanson is the um-bop boys, right? What do you mean a little? That's exactly the age group.

Bap-to-do-bap-boo. Bap-a-pab-boo. You're saying that if... Yeah. You're saying that if... And then M-Bap, it's gone. You're saying... And then bopp, it's on, yeah.

You're saying that... You're saying that if the members of Hanson... You're saying that if the members of Hanson saw me and I was... And I was going crazy over them. I'm screaming my head off over Hansen. Yeah. And they see that I'm 10 years old.

They would have gone, ew, what is that disgusting old woman doing at our concert? To quote, because she's from Game of Thrones. I'll do a quote from Game of Thrones. Too old. It was a too old. I don't know. Look, I mean, it's fine.

You just would have been like surrounded by a bunch of seven-year-olds. And they were, like, you know, bit your ankles and did stuff to you. but you enjoyed the hansom yeah i had a little i had a brief hanson so well name one son of it is a mbop i i can't god oh my god is that how all you girls are are all you women who just chase these men down you don't even know all you know is the one hit quit playing games with my heart is that hansom no it's backstreet boys are in sync yeah that's right i don't know which because I'm a man. I'm a man.

So what do you know about? Can you give me any Hanson trivia? They're, well, all the members of Hanson are brothers. Everyone knows that. Every single people, you know, who were stuck in CIA black sites back in the 90s, you know, whatever they had back then, in some hut in the middle of South America.

They knew. They're being tortured. That's how I tortured. I told them that. one more fact um and and the last what's their blood types oh I wish I I probably did know at some point but um you know the name Hansen the band name Hanson yeah that's their last name God this is so bad this is this is so I mean I don't know if I could even name the individual members to be honest were you really do you do you're just

lying or like the girl I don't you know you girls read like you know teen bot magazine and like and like stalked them didn't you that you didn't know you didn't know i think i had a hanson poster that's not the same thing you know you i i read charles when i was that age i read charles berkeley's autobiography oh here's a room here's here's um a trivia thing and probably not even a lot of great big hanson fans would remember this sure um for a while there was a rumor and a tabloid yeah that the hanson brothers all had sex with each other i mean that doesn't i was going to say that as a joke and i'm like no that's inappropriate there there which even though they're adults now

they were children and like it's not really like i mean not that's not i can't be funny but just like it's just like it's going to look bad it's like and like these tab boys at the time these tabboys were arguing that they were i don't think that's true i think it is true i remember i remember um a friend of mine a fellow hanson fan telling me on the phone that there were some there were there were was a rumor going around that they had sex with each was it but this is your friend's dad what he was he you know those boys he's just trying he's starting he's starting to rumor this doesn't seem like something we're published in team bot magazine i don't think it's like hey girls guess what hey you're like mbop well guess what makes those boys mbop

I think well how would this even be related to like young women look the tab boys used to to be a lot more there's they're still pretty you know vicious but they used to be a lot more you know um inappropriate i remember but i i don't think anything rose to i mean maybe the uk but not in america there was all sorts of stuff about michael jackson and um who are aliens and elvis i remember seeing him in the supermarket on on you know at the checkout aisle but nothing i don't i don't remember anything rising to the level of these three you know pubescent men who are others consummate some sort of illicit affair with each other in between gigs that seems crazy you know how I remember this this little fact so well wow

through a hypnotherapist because I remember hearing about it because I remember hearing about it for my friend on the phone sure and and by that who is his friend this one exists I mean, I feel like you made this up. This is an imaginary friend. My friend Maggie told me. Oh, can we get Maggie on the phone? Yeah. Maybe at some point.

But she told me, and this was when I was getting a little bit too old for Hansen, like I was kind of falling out of love for that. Sure, yeah. And so I heard this, and for some reason, this, like, rumor about them sleeping with each other made me really happy. like in like a bullying way wow and i remember hanging up the phone and telling uh my brothers this like rumor that i had heard in kind of a gloating way and they were like that's not a nice rumor to spread you just spread out of the kind of rumor about even your brothers who i assume at the like you know

we're like 13 of the time and we're like kind of like you know like all 13 year olds kind of dirt bags 13 year old boys who like you your brother's like on Reddit just like in all the worst places he's like that's not nice that's not nice I can't believe why what made you happy about this because I was just because it was just like a mean thing to hear about them and I was feeling like I was too cool for Hansen at that point so this this feels like you you over he's my theory I'm a I made a working theory about this there we go I This theory is that you over-extended yourself a bit in regards to your love of Hansen. You talked up Hansen too much.

You wouldn't show up about Hansen. It was, you talked a lot of shit. Right. And then you realized it kind of sucked. You know, the single after, Mbop wasn't that good. Right. And then you wanted to get out of it. and your idea was like to start this little rumor i swear i didn't start it i feel like you i feel

like you were like well if i don't get to enjoy hanson no one should and you start telling all your little friends this sort of a little story i mean i i feel are they that famous anymore i feel like we could get them on somehow the show i don't think like i mean what did we ever heard like in years. We could get Hansen on. I want to confront Hansen with this rumor you started and see what I don't think it was true. No, of course it's not true. I mean, God forbid. But I mean, but you I've seen versions of this where someone maybe a podcast takes off and then they confront the people that used to talk about, hey, you know, our producer was a big, you know, fan and he thought this song of yours was the best. And they're like, well, that's not the best song we did. Like something.

stupid like that they go hey my my co-host here is a big fan she thinks you slept with each other at the height of your fame i mean did you think the little one was because one of them was so much younger than the other ones that seems like it's not even consensual that like i know like they were all under 18 maybe but like this is crazy i mean i don't i hope youtube isn't this is like because this sounds terrible this idea you have that is like one of them was like six It's not even like It's more like 12 It's not

Point taken I don't know It's not it's not even like You imagine like two twins Doing something with each other It's like well it's just They're the same person practically I don't know

It's like it's abuse It would be great if we had them on And you were like You know And I was like you know Ray made me realize That I actually started a rumor about you guys When I was young

And they were like Wow They were like man That rumor destroyed our career. Why? I did make it up, but somehow it became real. That would be amazing.

I mean, it would be amazing that you could do that, but not make our podcast more successful. It's just the height of our lives. Anyway, so back to this story. It was a nice little detour. What we got here? We have the Joe Jonas files for divorce from Sophie Turner. after four years of marriage, irretrievably broken.

Wow. So what is this? Is that worse than irrevocably? I don't know. I mean, it's just, it's a different word. And so, I mean, let's see. What's the story? Where's just the media of this story?

Joe Jonas has filed for a divorce from Sophie Turner after four years of marriage. The Jonas Brothers singer 34 filed on Tuesday in Miami for a dissolution of marriage from the actress 27 documents obtained by people confirmed wait so did people break this story i don't i mean look they are i know you're laughing about it i usually don't hear about documents and these kinds of stories i know you're laughing about it but like who you do you see like you know the financial times covering this crap people is like you know the paper of record for this nonsense yeah now um this is going to cover because i didn't read this article but i have heard this that's something to do was he called her on ring cam your ring cameras wait isn't a ring cam what you put on your front

door they also have other ones using a company makes a doorbell camera and then go hey let's double dip they put in the teddy bears they uh they probably put like little cameras in the walls they do everything i'm sure so yeah but maybe there's a ring maybe she was maybe she was doing she was she was filming the hansom brothers at her doorbell perhaps maybe that maybe you're right but i don't know if this is going to that might be a rumor though this whole ring camp thing let's we'll get to that and say is this cover at all what's the what's this let's skip to the good stuff uh the musician and the former game of throne star tie the nod in 2019 after nearly three years of dating and have two children together

jesus um so this is their where's their uh oh okay okay the i'm trying to find their announcement about the divorce because there's no it's a good rumor or something i don't know they put i thought they posted something well i don't know apparently the internet you found the worst article I know I brought this up this article is nothing good apparently she called him on ring camera doing something that might be alive but who cares

and also the internet seems to be turning on the Jonas boy at first they seemed to be like well what did they catch her doing and then became you know what would you have to catch me or what would have to catch you doing I mean I just imagine she like

she caught him like I mean what I don't know like uh watching you know jordan peterson or what her watching you think you think she got red pilled is that what it's called black filled no red filled right um yeah red pilled i think maybe so every turn i got red pilled maybe she got really into watching like stepan malon you like sam harris are they all on the same side anymore i don't even know where these people diverting like step on malony what was his gimmick i i think he was kind of um you know it's been so long since i thought about him he he isn't like women very much right he made some point about

i do remember he went on on some kind of rant about how every evil man has come from a woman's vagina and so that means women are are responsible for all the violence done by man metrics um but they got yeah who i mean you think she did the my maybe she's like she's on milo's like rumble page She's taming up with pearly things. Yeah, what, um, oh my God, imagine if she started doing the exact same thing, pearly things does. Santa Stark was just like, and they like kind of look, I mean, she's like a, I mean, I don't want to insult Sophie Turner by saying this, but like they kind of have the same general outline of a look. I don't, I'm not the Sophie Turner's like, I'm the ice princess look. Enough. All right. No one's intimidated by Sandra Stark. I never understood that.

show like i've been sexually assaulted 1500 times i should be able to rule it doesn't make any sense don't do don't do what they expects you to do anyway this two these two game of drones uh inside baseball yeah that's the rewrite season eight sure it's just it's just it's just it's just the star brothers having sex of each other that would be great while they're wolves watch article isn't people look i'm i'm trying this is nonsense i wonder the yeah page six here you i've not seen a single thing about this ring camera bethne for what it's a spurious rumor perhaps but that's what twitter's good for or x whatever bethne frankl accuses jojones of spitting his and sophie turner's divorce it's backfiring who's bet isn't that one of the real housewives

yeah well who else is going to do commentary on that gorvedal Um, quote, it seems like his team decided to kill or be killed. The Real Housewives of New York City alum said on TikTok, quote, his PR team definitely said, we know this is coming and we've got to spin this thing. We've got to go and try and control the ocean. What? That's true. Um, anyway, so there's nothing good here.

No one's got a story. It's just too rich people deciding to screw other people. Who cares? I thought there was going to be more. I thought it was going to be something where, like, you know, um, He was burning his kids with, like, branding them. Isn't that the new thing? Everyone brands each other.

All these sex cults in L.A. Everyone's branding each other. That's the story, right? Yeah. Oh, wait, here's an article about, here's a paragraph about what you're talking about. Here we go. Frankl went on to claim that the alleged tactic is, quote,

backfiring or referencing backlash over headlines about Turner's partying and compromising wing camera footage. That's it. Compromising ring can. So she's a party girl. So what? She came home, and she was like you know she has children you think women should be able to just stumbling drunk wiping wiping the fluids off their face and oh hey mommy's home

who wants some ice cream is that acceptable to you I'm just a bad to you're saying doing that in front of the ring camera but right in the front door in the ring camera Let me be in My day's home Tell me who's my little angels She's all this raspy Click the link with the ring can't But there's a link there

Don't you know the internet works there Okay It says compromising ring camera in red Was that Or is it just highlighted There you go Joe Jones allegedly called Sophie Turner In compromising here we go

Oh who's making it up Who's making it up first of all close this There we go See that now you see it now you see it That rape hump is vindicated. Joe Jones allegedly caused Sophie Turner in compromising ring camera footage before filing for divorce.

Let's read this article. It's probably untrue. Incriminating footage of Sophie Turner was allegedly the catalyst for Joe Jonas to file for divorce. Multiple sources close to the Jonas Brothers member told TMZ Wednesday that he either overheard the Game of Thrones actors

saying something or saw her do something via a ring camera. This is very vague. That made him realize their marriage was over. It's got to be just her fucking another guy on the ring camera, right? I don't know. I mean, maybe I feel like it would have to be more than that, right? I mean, because like, it would have to be like some guy like wearing a Joe Jonas mask while he pegs her.

No, she pegs him. Right. Yeah. That, but that would be kind of, I mean, I would be into that. You would be into. No. Well, I mean, no. You used to be cheating on me, I guess.

But it would be kind of interesting. But at least I'm involved. It would be more flattering if the guy was wearing a U-Mask, right? Right, but more. That doesn't make it okay. That's not a free pass. Look, my husband says, cool, when he'll wear this.

Don't get any ideas. Can you also pretend you're my brother? There's no details on this. I mean, this is so much worse than the Obama thing. Now, the Obama thing, you don't know so apparently this guy came out and admitted this is um i remember i remember Tucker Carlson had him on because you know the rumors that Barack Obama was uh allegedly a gay man yes well apparently they it's been it's been a rumor for years but they

finally found a random crackhead to uh to say so on camera and that he uh they did coke with them i mean I watched the, I don't know, I think it's going to be hard to find because it's on Twitter or whatever. But, yeah, it was just, so it was a guy, I should break it up, see if we can find it. It's Tucker Carlson. The guy from Fox News who's now on X.com had on, at least get a picture of this guy.

Because he looks, he doesn't look like a guy who didn't do crack. You know, I believe that much. You know, there's a big crack head. he claims that he was in a limo he didn't even know who Obama was and then he was sexing him with his mouth and other stuff all the parts and Claire is that I guess oh yeah I mean we think we think every week to Carlson has a different guy who claims to have sex with Obama he's just he just it would just be a sophisticated name for for a crack addicts like Barack Obama the Brack

The Barack Obama bang bust, brought to you by Tucker Carlson. Tucker Carlson seems to think Obama as a gay crack act. All right. Oh, God damn it. What is this? Got to find another one. I mean, on the service, why is that so unbelievable? We really, I believe a lot of stuff is that.

Oh, you just those guys. Whoa. No, get that off. It's just, he's reacting. Get off. Do you know if this? No good. Tucker Carlson claims Obama enjoyed smoking crack and having gay sex,

but that nobody reported it ahead of the 2008 election. I feel like we would have. I feel like that wasn't. I don't know. Not even the Republicans? Like they didn't want to. I don't think what I don't know. I don't remember what people, I'm not sure what people think was going on in 2008.

That we wouldn't have. Oh, no. This was this was a Sancterson time when when politics were clean. Like, we wouldn't report on gay crack at sex. Of course we would. What you got there? Tucker Carlson is claimed Barack Obama was smoking crack and having sex with men, but the media failed to report it.

The former Fox News host repeated the accusation of Larry Sinclair, who alleged that Obama bought and smoked cocaine before they had sex in 1999. Well, if it was 1999, I mean... What? Is that your rule? Anything goes in the year of Prince? I mean it's a year filled with anticipation new millennium coming up you think you think that Barack Obama is fundamentally a straight heterosexual family man but

that the the anxiety over the year 2000 the white UK bug caused him to indulge in some crack in gay sex is that is that is that your position maybe I mean look and what would be wrong look if he's generally a functional person who just had a couple of gay sex affairs and did crack a couple of times that's not that bad no i think it's kind of hot but i mean i think it's fine um honestly i think all presidents you're like look what do you think they do with like skull and bones you don't you don't think they're doing crack and and uh inflating each other course that's the whole point like a black male that's that's why everyone's you know annoyed about this is like you know because

he wasn't the guy didn't go to Yale can you give me a picture this Sinclair guy so I can show people or at least show you Larry Sinclair give me a picture I want people to see just yeah bring up that there we go okay so this is the guy that's the guy I mean honestly I don't think that guy gets to have sex with Obama Obama's much better looking than this guy Yeah, I think you could find hot or crack addicts. And this guy's also pretty, I mean, is he the same age as Obama? I don't know. He looks like he's 80.

Yeah. It would be great, though, because I generally think of Obama as a pretty, like, you know, composed guy. Yeah. You know, but it would be funny to go if you just, like, went back to his old speeches. And it turned out he was just, like, shaking the whole time and, like, raising his voice for no reason. Just sniffling, like, p. asking people for crack in the middle of them yeah it's like it's weird I remembered him being so articulate I bet I'm outside my limo after the stuff fuck welcome to raise

impressions I'm outside my Obama outside the show I'll be at the parking lot if anyone's got to crack and what's suck me off I'm Barack Obama that's not bad yeah one out of ten times they can do an impression that's vaguely recognizable i might as well i'm dana carvey reincarnate um so what do you think i mean can he run again i would vote for him now i would i would love to i would love to i would love to have a block obama larry sinclair take it where he has to run for you can be president again but your vice president then your chief of staff has to be the gay crack

and you suck you off in a limo that should be honestly why people make this big deal about who the vice president is right but like they don't do anything they get stuck in the corner unless you're Dick Cheney who like you know ran you know torture around the world

and wars but most of them don't don't do anything they get stuck in the in the you know in the corner and they don't they get nothing to do the chief of stab is much more important and we should be able to vote or get the chief of staff, right? You hear what I'm saying?

Yeah. And like, this crackhead needs to be his cheapest staff. But we also give him crack all the time. Like, I don't, I think, oh, I've been clean for 10 years. Too bad. He gets some crack. And, like, he has to, like, just screw everything up all his appointments. He's like, oh, what will we have now?

He just comes out. It's like, he's just bleeding from the nose all over his documents. Oh, God. I'm okay. I'm okay. This is fine. You want a hand job? So I'm curious about what actually happened in this thing.

The former Vox News host repeated the accusation of Larry Sinclair, who alleged that Obama bought and smoked crack before they had sex in 1999. The allegation which emerged while then Senator Obama was gearing up for the presidential election was roundly condemned as an attempted political hatchet job. But Carlson claimed Wednesday that it was really clear that Obama had been having a gay affair. It's clear. He claimed that the media didn't run the story

because the Obama campaign team threatened to refuse access to the Democratic candidate. I feel like that wouldn't have really mattered back then, though, because it's not like, I don't think anybody really expected him to win at first. Like, the idea of being that, like, them getting denied access to him. um well he i yeah one way or the other it's like oh you won't have access who gives this shit right yeah it's like we just make we just make stuff up anyway right i think the biggest story for like six months was that he like was from kenya right yeah you tell me that was based on access maybe

maybe who were wrong maybe you and i were wrong about that maybe he's a gay crack guy from kenya show said in 2008 it became really clear that Barack Obama had been having sex with men and smoking crack all right yeah I mean should we just get crack kids I mean we can do this right you can we just find people like you know saying crackhead you know a mean thing to say should they met gentlemen who smoke crack I don't think most crack heads are going to take offense to it gentlemen who indulging crack we could we should find some gentlemen who indulging crack uh and then like get them just admits the stuff like on camera and that's the show though it's if so Carlson can do it becomes national news right it's picked up everywhere

why can't we just like feed lines to crackheads that's an amazing idea every single top like every every time at the top of the show it's a new person who's been accused of uh increasingly hard to do sex acts with a crackhead. Hey, Jeremy, you had sex with Helmut Cole, didn't you? That's the problem with our show, is I pick Helmut Cole. Where was he the Prime Minister of Germany, like fucking 30 years ago? Helmut Cole. What kind of show is this?

I have a good rip. So, Jared, you claim that you're 69 with Ronald Reagan. This is a name. I know, I'm trying to improve it. Oh, yeah, there you go. You claimed you've gotten a hand job from Yitz Sacra Bean. What? Oh, God.

Where do we, I mean, we live in New York City. We can find these guys, right? Yeah. I mean, we can pick any. I mean, look, a lot of people, a lot of people who aren't crack addicts would say that they did all kinds of things. Of course. I mean, no, I just mean, we need to find them. We actually don't know where to get crack.

Why don't we, if we can, why don't we just start doing crack? Oh. And then we can be the ones making the allegations. It needs to be, no. Didn't you learn anything from like the Jubilee people and the only abundance? You need to be a third party. You need to have a crackhead on hand. No one wants to listen to a crackhead.

They want to have a crackhead presented to them. Right? There's a fine line. That's a good point. Anyway, thoughts and prayers to Obama. And to Larry Sinclair. What I want to know, okay, when I'm presented with a story like this, what I really want to know is like,

where does Larry Sinclair stand on Obama having done crack with him and sucked his dick? Like, is Larry Sinclair in love with Obama? Like, what is he, where is he coming from? He thinks that he really should have gotten after the, uh, Cap Gaines tax back in 2009. Otherwise, he's a pretty good job. Fucking Larry Sinclair. You should have him on the show.

Getting to suck off a fucking dildo. What are we talking about? I don't know. Moving on. Tonight show. What is this story? There's some allegations about the Tonight Show. being a toxic work environment.

Like his... Go on. You actually were... You were early on this. You were the first person who told me that there were some rumors swirling about it. Here's the thing. I thought this was like,

you know, they're saying that like he came in drunk or something. Like I thought Jimmy Fallon, now I'm not making anything up here. I thought it was common knowledge of Jimmy Fallon like bit people. and like and choked them and choked people like you know what i thought this was a common i didn't notice was like i what we still talking about the fact he likes you know a few barrels and james

wine coolers well i think this guy was like a menace and we're just and we're just and we're just kind of like oh i think he's a little uh he's a little drunk yeah he's uh he's saying that larry sinclair but apparently uh he's what he's toxic what's the story what's a new story well do you want me to read some of this vulture article i guess is vulture a reputable source who cares um the tonight show allegedly the toxic show all right well that's already is that a pun this feels like it was written by like someone who got rejected by the tonight show and they take anybody except us the tonight show may be full of laughter maybe i may be skinny

behind the scenes it's no laughing matter 16 anonymous current and former staff members accused the late night show of having a toxic work culture and a september 7th rolling stone report oh this is rolling stone not vulture yeah well let's let's let's get to the meat of this well you don't want to go to the place that broke it you want a place to go to the place that read the place that broke it and then yeah we don't i don't want to be like teased for like six pages about, like, you know, how deep Jimmy Fallon's teeth went into some intern's ankles. You know, go on. Allegedly, it starts at the top.

Staffers at the show are used to there being, quote, good Jimmy days and bad Jimmy days in which Fallon is prone to outbursts and erratic behavior. Quote, it was like if Jimmy was in a bad mood, everyone's day is fucked. A former employee told Arma. It's not like every boss? Yeah, I would think so. I got no love for Jimmy Fallon. um i don't think it's particularly funny i don't know if i'm charming but this sounds like rats

so far i mean i hope the next sentence isn't he raped me or anything like that because i'm gonna look stupid but this so far it's just sounds like a bunch of rats yeah yeah i'm with you okay go on um quote people wouldn't joke around in the office and they wouldn't stand around and talk to each other it was very much like focus on whatever it is you have to do because jimmy's in a bad mood oh do you job do your hey how about I try to write the sketch instead of just winging it in the last five minutes before

fucking five o'clock or whenever you filmed this garbage hey can you please just try I know we hired you and you pay you 400 grand a year to write quote unquote but could you try could you try once sorry Jimmy's in a bad mood he wants you to do your job

today hey could you stop stuffing your face with a free donuts and write a joke this is toxic this is this is his life this is his legacy and you're just pissing all over anyway let's go let's see maybe I'm wrong you're totally right there's could be something that would change my mind but you're you're totally right let's go read more okay so you better do what you have to do because Jimmy's in a bad mood, and if he sees that,

he might fly off. Some staffers attribute this behavior to Fallon's alleged overuse of alcohol. Some say they think he was drunk at work, and eight former employees said that the quality of the work day dependent on whether Fallon was hung over. I love this. It's like, hey, can you write this monologue joke from me? What are you drunk?

But he's on the schnapps. What? Like, what is this? Enough. Are you sure? He's only on the air right now. He shows have been off the air since the strike started. Like, what are they, what's the timing of this even for?

Yeah. This is crazy. There's some guy who's out of work. Oh, hey, you know, by the way, uh, Jimmy Fallon, uh, makes you do your job. No, is there more to this shit? Uh, on bad days, he would reportedly be passive aggressive, making comments like, are you okay? Seriously. Do you need help?

This was a guy. Such a 35-year-old man crying in his office. He said that to a guy who's threatening to slit his wrists because he had to work. Hey, hey, could you write a new game for me? I've got to fucking kill myself. What is this? The report goes into detail about showrunners

who made the show's environment increasingly toxic for March for other show runners okay yeah from March 28 from 20 to 20 to March 22 with like the pandemic you mean report details include uh incidents with granite betterman who gives a shit some guy including inappropriate comments like asking a black employee what is going on with your hair um you don't don't don't fuck with people's hair that's I did not learn this lesson yet don't talk about people's hair black there or otherwise I just go down they're the worst bosses of that's the worst boss you

ever had in your life look I'm not black but like I can't speak to this but I got imagine it's that can't be that bad if you're black right asking about your hair I've had bosses do way worse than that no if that's the worst boss you've ever had you're a job before what do you what do you think what's the worst thing your boss ever did do you i mean horrible shit i'm not getting into every detail of it you know what you ask the thing what's wrong with your hair just just you know uh i don't know don't set me up to the wing 20 year old uh allegations about uh people of them whatever

go on move keep breathing did he rat you out for for playing with the corpses i never played with the corpses all right not your slander To use the position of power to bully and treat the staff that way, the network is aware of how they treat people. They're not only container enable it, but they reward it. I mean, I'm down to believe it. I have no love for Jimmy Fallon. I haven't heard anything yet.

I mean, the hair line, yeah, it's inappropriate, but like the worst thing ever. It seems another former employee says, Granite Betterman attended an HR conducted exit interview after they left tonight show. It felt as if it was the intimidation tactic, they said. This incident followed a pattern of events in which the employee would report issues.

Who is this granted betterment? Why is this article about him? I thought it was about Fallon. You know, Fallon's kind of drunk sometimes. But anyways, his producer, like, you know, put a knife in my ass. This incident followed a pattern of events in which the employee would report issues

to grant a betterman to HR, only to find that HR would report back to Grant a Betterman, allegedly causing them to be put on, quote, a performance improvement plan. everything that I relate to HR was then relayed to my manager so it was not a safe space they added it felt as if they were acting in the interest of one person instead of the interest of the greater whole I don't know what people think HR is HR the terrible people and all they do is support the company they're not your friends I don't know who

gets jobs at HR but it's not uh you know I don't think George Carlin had a job at HR if you don't what I mean. I'm not sure what I mean. So you're keeping mom. We all have day jobs. We got worried about our day jobs still. You're worried about just getting back to your HR manager. I think George Garland did work for age.

So this is the least of all the, this counts of me too. Not really. It's like eight years later, right? Well, it doesn't seem to be like a sexual in nature. Sexual? sexual so i don't think that it's uh accounts as a me too but uh it's i've never seen somebody get fired for no reason not so funny this is i mean this is the epitome of not having a i mean

this is nothing what is this what is this is this vulture i mean the new york post had a more visceral take on people really miss the uh the me too ever now i'm not saying when we're the other a lot of people needed to get you know caught and they got caught but they these journalists are really chom they that was the bet like they could just write anything like hey where you got anything just give me anything uh you know uh Stephen Colbert uh winked at a dog once he said oh he pet the dog we got him we got him boys i mean yeah he acknowledged you like i was a woman oh he's done they think they write these articles like they think it's gonna do anything it's just something like this is the lazy this is the result of me too not like

anything better for women it's just like you know journal this journalism got worse yeah got lazy does it just more rat articles yeah I mean they should just change vulture to like to rat why is it why is vulture rat rat dot com Anyway, so are you on team Jimmy I mean this doesn't seem that bad I mean for a guy if he is coming into work Blasted every day and he's not doing stuff that's worse than that right Bravo. Yeah, I mean I'll see you're keeping it together Fallon Is the Irish shouldn't you know those Irish really not to keep stay drunk all day and not do something that bad and he's not a big guy Isn't he no? I don't know maybe he is big summer I bet he's got a giant liver well he's some crack in the limo we're drinking major liver small

doesn't it shrivels up yeah I've seen I have seen shriveled up livers as the more if you have cirrhosis is white and porousy yeah kind of like a rock anyway still I like to be a limo smoking crack with that guy yeah you think it would help my career like smoked crack in the limo with Jimmy Fallon If Larry Sinclair got to meet Barack Obama. But he didn't know who he was. I know who my advantage is I know who Jimmy Fallon is. Right, yeah.

He was too, this guy was too cracked. I have to even know who Barry Obama was. But if Larry, but if Larry Sinclair got the ear of Barack Obama, like if he was allowed to meet him. Well, he's fucking his ear. Assuming everything that he said is true. What do you think he would want to say to Barack Obama? Do you think he would just want to say?

Do you think he would just want to, like, reminisce? That's a lot of fun. Hey, why did you drone strike fucking? Why did you support the ISIS and whatever he's supported in Syria? Why didn't you protect Yemen? I don't think Larry Sinclair's gives a shit about Yemen. You really could have been more forthcoming with Malala. Now, uh, right.

Now, let me suck your dick. Anyway. Um, so we have, A mommy blogger was arrested. Mm-hmm. Who is this? No, this is, I don't know.

I mean, YouTube has become such a place of a siloed entertainment and segmented audiences. I don't know. I never heard this person before. Did you know who Ruby Frank was? I had no idea who she was before the story, you know? I mean, I can imagine kind of what she was like. This is the world we live in that, where it's like, you know, some, person is accused of like you know tying up their children and like duct tape them and not feeding

them and like imagine lucile ball like you know uh shot a dog on tv and then people were like and then half the people are like who you know that's that's that's that I think that analogy is good I think it's great what's wrong with that you wouldn't that be shocking wouldn't that be if back in 1968 lucile ball have a fucking german shepherd and she pulled out a 38 special uh and shot in the head was a big bullets i believe and shot it right in the head terrible i know a lot of you a dog owner i'm not dog lovers i don't hate dogs and i wouldn't promote that was the thing sure i mean that would be a story yeah that would be crazy okay but now imagine in that story me being like i don't know this person is

Lucille ball mm yeah I still feel like you're not selling my own I can't you're really not you're not selling this I'm not sure what the whole you not knowing who she was has to do with it like do you think that this woman is on the level of Lucille ball I think she had like a couple hundred no one's on the level of Lucille balls my point everyone everyone's got like their huge chunks of their chunks of faint you probably did very well for herself who is this by the way let's let's let's share it Ruby Frank. I mean, look at this woman.

She's probably known to like 48 million people or something. And I have no idea who she is. I mean, this is fascinating. Also, she hurts children maybe. Yeah, I think she had a big, a big-ish following. Okay. Bigger than us? Probably bigger.

Well, then there you go. Oh, I don't think. There's a lot of wiggle room between us and Lucille Ball at her, in her prime. I mean, not anymore. Go on. Read some of this. Ruby Frank. A 41-year-old YouTuber who touted controversially strict parenting advice

now faces six felony charges of aggravated child abuse. But was it, what was the parenting advice duct tape your children? Just asking, no. Well, yeah, you know what? It's a good question because you do want to look for her signs. Otherwise, why are we complaining about? You know? Right, yeah, she was.

It's like going up to a, it's like going up to a friend about it. Yeah, it's like going up to one of these like a pickup artist guys. He's been going like, hey, you didn't pick up the bill or whatever. Or you didn't, or you raped a woman. Why are you surprised? Look, I think when you're talking about six charges of aggregated, of aggravated child abuse, the issue isn't necessarily that they're a hypocrite. Like it's exactly, is that they're aggravatedly abusing children.

But like, but. I guess. Yeah. but yeah she did have like a strict parenting advice I was I was kind of imagining more of a scenario where it was kind of like one of these really innocuous you know like one of these really innocuous women on YouTube oh like if um like give me an example um like I don't know like one of these women who's just like shows you how to shows you how to make cereal like who these women are they doing well they make cereal or like porces

Are there people on YouTube who show you that poor cereal in the bowl? What are you watching? You either watch like extremists like racial extremists like debate each other or like women are telling you how poor cereal. What is going on in your YouTube feed? Don't look at it. She has a podcasting partner Jody Hilda Brandt who also faces six charges. so that's interesting i imagine if you are on the hook for your pocket i mean we're married but a lot of people just like you know comic friends yeah imagine if like you know uh like uh

what's his name back in uh andrew shultz was on a hook for all his like all those guys in his show like what's you know why am i being charged right good reference i can't name anyone go on just read Um, each defendant, Frank and Hildebrandt, uh, is accused of causing or permitting serious physical injury to the victims. These articles all suck. They ductated the kids and didn't feed them. The kid came like to a neighbor's house and was like, uh, can I have some food? Which seems a bit like forward, if you ask me. Yeah. But, you know, I guess it was hungry. I mean, do you even know the neighbor? Like, can I have some food? How about you just like asked like, hey, like, see a little, you know, the other thing's a little gauche? It's a little gauche

Did you never do that when you were a kid? You never went over to like a neighbor's house To like an allowing neighbor's house And I didn't but you have a story about this I did have a next-door neighbor Name she was it was like an old Italian woman Right and named Francesca I love shout out Francesca

Yeah she's still alive And I think she liked me coming over I think she sort of encouraged it Uh huh She was you know she was older and Does she realize you were greedy little rat Lived alone She realized what a rat I was

but um yeah sometimes i would go over and ask her to make me pasta just ask her to make you that's so crazy like it's a little forward yeah can you make me please how was this going on like you knock knock hey lucy i imagine that this kid was a little bit more desperate than i was hey lucy uh hi francesca how are you i mean i don't remember exactly how the exchange went but would you even be coy about it i was pretty forward about it she made really really good pasta. I think she made it handmade. Did she handmake it for you? Maybe. Yeah. So she would roll dough for you. I mean, she may have had a bunch of dough ready. So crazy. Yeah. This is such a crazy. But it definitely tasted like homemade pasta. I would you know you were a little kid.

Because look, those senses are the stronger. They follow you throughout life. Jesus. I remember. I don't find this. Is she still alive you think? Probably not. Oh, man. I'd love to confront her about this. Like, oh, yeah, it was very. I thought her parents didn't feed her. She was putting little bits of rat poison at it.

Would you go, like, after school? Were you, like, 15? No, no, I was way smaller than that. I was, I was, like, seven or eight or something. I mean, that's so crazy. That's so insane to me. Look, I understand it was kind of a little rat move. I thought you didn't, you didn't even try to invite her to the wedding.

We had a wedding and you didn't invite Frances. She's definitely done. You could have at least found out. But look, she moved when I was, you know, she probably moved. She moved away because of you, you can eat her out of half from home. She was like, this neighborhood is depraved. Yeah, it's just the, these little rat kids keep coming over asking for pasta. She's trying to, like, enjoy retirement, and the Apple Dumpling Gang comes around asking her for free foster.

Jeez. When did you grow up with the Great Depression? you're a newsie anyway so what's going on what are we talking about oh I don't know this story just keeps getting more depressing

as you read on but what she do yeah she like look she was duct tapeing her kids you know there's no legitimate reason to duct tape your kids yeah

yeah there's no like if you have to duct tape your kids you're just you're you're you're you're not an alpha that's beta shit all right i believe if i if i if i if i if i if i if i if i if i if i i know my age you tate well i believe i do duct taping your kids is beta horse shit nothing else nobody gets duct taped and years later goes you know and it really made me better right i don't know i mean maybe maybe maybe some people get their hands duct taped when they when they when they when they when they write with their left hand you know and they

teach them to make them right righty and that seems like beneficial yeah yeah I don't know if that was the context here but she said she's really bad kids you wouldn't stop writing lefty yeah anyway uh last story we'll talk about today there's a guy in a hamster wheel Florida man riding human-sized hamster wheel in Atlantic Ocean faces federal charges federal charges what is up with this country I first we give 33 years to the proud boys

and now we're giving this hamster wheel guy federal charges what is this overreach you know it's like this guy was we'll get to what he was doing in the second But is this guy who's riding a hamster wheel to Europe? Going to be cellmates of Enrico Tario? Mm.

The Proud boy leader? They should really have exceptions for, even if he is kind of making the law. They should really have exceptions for him, you know, for pranks? For creative stuff like that. Yeah, for the creative. So basically, do we have a picture?

These articles suck. But this is that one picture of it. Well, I don't know if there were pictures. There was pictures. I've written on New York Times. one and there's pictures god damn bring me the times i want to pay there we go there's a picture of it oh wow see this is an elaborate hamster wheel but i bet you thought this guy was a real jerk but uh look at this look at let's look at this see this this guy he took buoys and made like

a hamster contraption he had granola and he had all sorts of uh and he it's basically he's running like a hamster uh and he goes into the ocean i mean it seems seems like any storm would kill you that's awesome it's cool this is a really cool thing I want one yeah I mean you that's you you can go to jail too apparently I mean what what is this I mean so this guy dies whatever let him die yeah this is definitely a passion thing so he'll he'll die doing what he likes to do this is the FBI's overreach this is you know the Vic Vick Vick guy what's the guy's name Vivik Vivik that Ken the political candidate wants to shut down on the FBI.

And I'm starting to think maybe he's right. Yeah. Because what does this guy have his balloon thing? What this guy has his hamster wheel? What are we doing? One of those like interesting, those old human interest stories that you would hear from like the 1920s

of weird inventions that people came up with. That's what I actually. And these people would have them shut down by the FBI. Yeah, imagine like some guy with a balloon and like, you know, and he gets charged because he has some like, you know, midget or small. little person like as an exhibition he was abusing them imagine that yeah i agree that's horrible it is horrible uh give me give me the line i like this guy's a kind of spirit to mean i'll tell you

why all right uh balucci is the guy's name that's a fun name for a guy who would do this Yeah, this is Baluci. Baluci was arrested on August 28th after a bizarre three-day standoff with authorities. At one point, Balucci, who refused to get off the vessel, he was on, displayed, quote, two knives and threatened to hurt himself if officers on board.

I hate this article sucks. He's threatened to kill himself. What is his article? NBC News. Oh, wait, here it is. He also threatened to blow himself up, at which point Coast Guard officers on site contacted the U.S. Navy. This really NBC News just ruined my my this sucks because when I read it in the time

He's he's threatened to kill himself trying to hurt yourself. That funny Hmm I'm gonna hurt myself what do you write for this a night show? Oh, he's trying he threatened to harm himself Lame he's trying to kill himself with a knife That's something I would do it seems dangerous to have knives on like a homemade on a big hamster wheel those aren't balloons or buoys

oh they look like balloons no look at it bring it up those are buoys you think you think he's on the ocean I don't know like with like helium balloons I like the idea that he was at one point he said it was off my memory I'll say this at one point he was

he was he said look I have a I'm doing this for charity to raise money for the homeless. I'm not dumb, which I think is very endearing. So what happens? So is he going to go? Wait, so do people actually give him money to do this?

Maybe. I mean, look, he's this guy, he's been doing it for years. He's been doing since 2014. He just wants to ride the ocean in his buoy machine. I'm not sure how far he's ever gotten. Apparently, like, last time he had to turn around because he forgot his GPS cord or some more shit. This guy's going to die if he does this.

He's not going to do it. He has no shot. This guy is, this guy is completely doomed. If he ever, but still, let him do it. Yeah.

What? Oh, so some fish has to, you know, eat his corpse, who cares? Why can't we have like a catch and release policy for this at least?

You know, it's like arrest him, but then just let him go. So I'm arresting him. He's a booing. It's a buoy. What are you're afraid going to get in the way of your,

of your yacht that has like, you know, under, underage prostitutes on it? Well, it doesn't be. I don't know. This country used to be great.

This country used to matter. We're becoming increasingly irrelevant because we allow, we don't protect our most vulnerable. And that's guys in buoys. Hamster wheel buoys. He has granola. If I only has ramen on there, I'm not sure he cooks the ramen.

Can we start a kick, GoFondi for him? Get him some good representation. I'd rather raise money for us. I don't really care about this. i'm very cynical sign up for our patreon and maybe we'll help them

yeah anyway uh we'll do a fundraiser for him yeah what was a who would you get at the fundraiser larry sinclair Larry Sinclair will be the guest of honor

yeah plus to suck off the winning bitter anyway thanks so much for tuning in if you love our show and of course you do you can sign up at www.w.p.com slash Ray Kump

and you get an extra episode every week for five bucks a month that's a pretty good deal so you can do that if you want otherwise enjoy Have a great week. We'll see you next week.