Kump - Ep. 160 Rat Trump

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

Ray and Lucie discuss Ray's new Trump impression, the poly sensation sweeping the country, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to come. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. How are you? I'm doing really good, actually. Yeah, you're in good mood? I'm in a great mood.

In a belittling mood? What do you mean? I mean, you don't like me. No, a mood, yeah, a mood that when your husband tries to come up with a nice idea, that'll, you know, maybe, maybe help elevate the show. You go, no, I'm going to, I'm going to bring him down instead of up. I don't know if that's a fair read of the situation. I'm going to hold him, I'm going to hold his head underwater like a baby

instead of, you know, giving him a little bit of triumph. I don't think that... Helping him elevate the show. You make it seem like a sabotage. I think I was doing a good thing. We need a Trump impression. Honesty. Look, I think if we had a Trump impression,

we would need to do it. That's true. He's probably going to win. He'll be done. He's going to be in the general election. It could be four more years. Yeah. I'm saying we need to get on board this time.

And I'm working at it. And all I hear from me is negative, negative things about my Trump impression. I just don't think people expect a Trump impression. You don't support me. What is that? You don't think I can do it. I mean, I think that's, look, people who listen to this show, no, I don't, we don't, I'm not, I'm not the guy, I'm not, the mic and machine guy. I'm not the guy from Police Academy who makes the noises.

I don't do impressions, typically. But I think this is pretty good. Lucy thinks. It's not good. Lucy doesn't think this sounds like Donald Trump. She's a dummy. Only a dumb person. Wouldn't think this was me.

What is that? What part of Trump is that? Dumb person? When does he talk like that? He was up and there. Volume and timbre change. That's a good point. Impressions are all about volume.

We need to be more mainstream. This is what the people want. You know, we can't just keep doing this for four more years if he's president and he says something crazy about, you know, how he's going to like, you know, buy Big Ben and bring him to America or some weird thing. Or he's going to, you know, euthanize bicyclists. You know, I have to be able to do an impression of it. I can't, I can't be like, hey, isn't it crazy what he said? That's not going to get us anywhere. I don't know.

Don't you want to own a house one day? I would love to. Right. Well, this is how we're going to do it. I don't know that this is our road to prosperity. I don't think that this is... I don't think anyone needs this from you. You don't have to, you don't have to, you know...

Mr. Gorbachev, be the impressions person. Tear down this wall. Right? It's not bad. Give me some other one. That's a good practice. Okay. This isn't a real president, but I think it's a good one.

You say it a lot. Okay. West Wing, right? Okay. The streets of heaven are two. crowded with angels tonight the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight walked into the fire ran into the fire that's not bad that's a classic west wing uh scene where he talks about a bunch of what they they were someone who let the fire in the nursery

and a bunch of college kids ran into the stage of babies um right yeah Personally, I don't know why. There was a fire in the nursery. Who built this dormitory? Sleepy Joe. Sleepy Joe Biden. I mean, this is... Look, every time you do a voice.

Yeah. I think that would make... That voice would go great with like a character... With an eccentric character. Like Donald Trump. And every time you do a voice, it sounds like nobody who's ever existed. Who do you think this sounds like? Like, look, if I did this, you...

You wouldn't even know I was trying to do Donald Trump? I would, I wouldn't know unless you, I would you think of it. Who would you guess? It's hard to put myself in that position because you kept screaming as you were doing in between those of this. It's benign Berlin. You kept screaming. I'm doing Donald Trump.

Well, look, I mean, regardless, even if it, I think it's a pretty good start. But you could have been more supportive. Look, it could be developed. I'm not giving up on it. Well, you know, you weren't, you were. Now that I've called you out on the air, as it were. Now she says she wanted to develop, but you should have heard her 10 minutes ago. She's all negative, very nasty woman.

Very nasty woman. I just don't think this is our brand. Well, our brand isn't working. We're trying to rebrand. is there a show that hat like you know I mean is there a different impression

I should do besides Donald Trump um like I I mean no I think this is your bread and butter is like uh like we had to delay the show

because your lip was bleeding a little bit well yeah that's kind of our bread and butter I bit my the skin off my lip a little bit by mistake I think that's what I thought it was like one of those dry things that just kind of hangs there and he just kind of rip it off

and it turned out to be like connected to more real skin. But yeah, look, that is currently our brand. I agree, but that's, it's alienating people. Yeah, look, yeah, how accessible that is. Who wants to listen to a show where a man bites off his own skin? That's disgusting. What an oddball.

In the beginning, you could kind of hear some Trumpish. What an odd ball. That's how we thought. Wait, I don't think. He's listening to him enough. He definitely does that. It's like halfway through a word just stops talking. You're not going to guess.

Ray comp is so fat. I mean, that's, yeah. Oh, that sounds right. That was actually, I felt like he was in the room. Raycump! His lip is always bleeding. He can never do it twice. Well, I'll do the same line again.

Raycump, it's so fair. But it sounds so different. At first, at first of the fluctuations in the volume, They sounded kind of like Trump. Well, that's what is that supposed to be... As you keep going, it gets tighter. It gets more and more weird and can't... That's what makes it fucking...

Instricted. No, you're supposed to take the actual thing and embellish. Like, Donald Trump doesn't really talk like this. Oh, he doesn't? But this is comedic emphasis. Lucy's very nasty. Where do you see this going? If you could master a Trump impression...

Then I could do like... Why do you think your life will be different? Because then I'll be like, you know, I'll be... We're pretty good at riffing, I think. You know? And we can riff with Donald Trump. Because all these guys, all these guys are do, do Trump. I mean, something's funny.

But a lot of them are just very like, hey, it sounds like Trump. But we, you know, we can buy... If I could do a real authentic Trump, and then come up with crazy ideas, like the Big Ben thing I had. Yeah. Which doesn't sound like, you know, that wasn't great.

I'm gonna buy Big Ben. From the queen. Then we're going to put the immigrants in the bend. That's where we put. I mean, you think, I mean, why don't they just buy the Tower of London from England? Then, like, they could make that on new, like, Ellis Island. We're going to make a new Ellis Island. The Tower of London will be our Ellis.

I'm going to buy the Tower of London. That's so Trump. Tower of London. And then we're going to turn into a prison. Best prison you've ever seen. There are all these subtlety. Like, the thing is, you're right, it rounds it. Yeah.

But you add these subtleties that make it, like, like, the way the voice lifts a little bit on London. I've been feeling depressed. A little down the dumps. But then for some reason you say it, like, London. London. But she would never do. Sometimes I think about self-harm. You think, like, there you go, self-harm Trump.

Self-arm Trump. That would be a great character. Yeah. See? There we go. And that's because I sound a little bit like Trump, but then they go, you know, we don't need to be sound just like him.

Sometimes I cut myself just to feel of control. That's right. It relieves the stress. I'm sold. We got to, I need to, you need to, I need to lock you in a room. I think about jumping up the Golden Gate Bridge. But sleepy Joe! The more I, the more, the closer I get, the funny of your ideas can be.

You know? Yeah. Like we do trumpet those hearings with the UFO thing. Right. These, these UFOs, they're not very bright. I think we make better ships right here in America. We won't let them in. We're going to put them in those immigrant camps.

What? This is crazy. Like Trump solving the extraterrestrial immigration crisis. Right. Another idea. Self-harm Trump is very good. There we go. See?

Just admit that it was right. We can move on. Please. Yeah, you were right about that. Thank you. Welcome to the show. See, sometimes you have to have a little conflict to get it to break an egg. Sometimes you got to break an egg.

You need a little card. That's the expression. Remember, usually we just a little earlier in the show, but that we, remember to sign up for the Patreon. You get an extra episode every week. $5, not bad. It's not at patreon.com slash rate comp

A good friend of mine They're very good. Thank you. Well, we'll move on from this. But he win Iowa? I think he did, right? He did. Yeah.

Did he say anything about it? I don't think about Trump very much lately just because, you know, I hope he wins his lawsuits because I think that's not. nonsense um but apparently he won iowa i didn't what which ones it's like six you know the ones trying to keep more of the ballot or the ones they're trying to take his money right well them have his money what you can do it for a hundred million dollars we go you know you build another

uh you know abortion clinic in the middle of uh school you know school you know school park they want to build abortion clinics and the chucky cheese so you can meet the rat and then get an abortion They're crazy. Look, actually, you know what? That's a great name for this. Just blanket name for this? Yeah. Rat Trump.

These are a great, sleepy Joe wants to put abortion clinics in the middle of a McDonald's Playland. Right there, right there with Grimmis. You're playing with Grimmis and they sticks of tube inside you. And it takes out of your baby. Somehow just calling it rad Trump explains away all the inconsistencies. And it becomes perfect.

I think Trump should hire me. Yeah. I mean, I think he's not, I mean, he's still winning because, you know, but he's all from like, you know, old stuff. But he's going to, he needs some new exciting stuff. And I can be the guy. Like this, like, why not just use that as an idea

put that in a speech? just like lie about a bunch of stuff I guess what makes him the best just lying about things and never admitting he lied right or something as he does of course I was lying

but sleepy Joe believed me about the abortion he's going to get McDonald's I pull one over that's a good piece of advice a piece of free advice he needs to incorporate

you know bragging about lying more right yeah like I convinced Joe that the chaco taco was coming back but it's not I would love that why did he

why didn't Trump just bring a chaco taco back? Oh man honestly that's what I would tell him like you're still worth the I mean how much of the cost to make the chaco taco how many hundreds of millions do you need

even if he loses this lawsuit you know? Yeah landslide landslide if he brings the chaco taco back I mean he would win how long has it been gone the chaco taco

That's a good question. Probably like 10 years, right? 10, you think it's been gone for 10 years? I think so. I don't, I mean, I haven't eaten more than 10 years. Well, I mean, I don't think. That's what I'm basing on. Just look up a chaco taco, please.

How long is the chaco taco taco? No, it's like a year ago. Oh, it feels like 10. When I left office, the chaco taco, still here. That's my point. Like, why not just bring that, like, how much would it cost to bring back to Chaco? To, like, make a factory, tool it up. You probably need, like, special refrigerated factories.

Now, would this be, like, a government chaco taco? Like, the government would make it. And, and. Yes, I got the, I got the federal government to fund it because I'm smart. That's the kind of thinking you need in the White House. but yeah so yeah i mean i don't with the government no i think trump should like as a campaign thing like self-fund the chaco like sell it i'm not saying to give him away but like you can't he can't make the chaco taco taco profitable it probably can work it's probably

just not profitable enough to be like part of the good humor portfolio of ice creams right you know if people aren't familiar is it it's i i've only had like once or twice i think it's and people Oh, that's a live troll. Look at him. He thinks he's only one one Chaco Taco. Yeah, I didn't eat that one. I eat other ones. Beat you the punch.

Now, what is? It's a waffle taco with ice cream. It's good. And chocolate ganache. You telling me you can't sell that in America? They should put all the vaccines in that thing. I mean, if they put all vaccines in Chaco Taco, we would have like, what was that problem when people over-vaccinate?

Everyone would just be fucking, like, you'd be a super bug. Just people foaming out of the mouth on the street. Yeah, just zombies. Um, what happens if you eat too much vaccine? Can you get, can you poison yourself on vaccine? I think you can, yeah. Why does no one talk about that? Like all these like Weinstein brother guys and these,

and these guys like, you know, these vaccine skeptics, never mentioned that, you know, if you eat too much, you could die. You eat. That's the, I want to be my thing. Right. That'd be my thing. I saw, I saw, I saw, I mean, it's not Trump anymore. It's me.

I saw a young girl, half her body was dead. She was in a hospital. Half her body was dead because of the vaccine. She took, she ate like 16 loads of vaccine. Really? Yeah, she got, her dad was a pediatrician. And she got into his briefcase where he keeps the vaccine. Wow.

And she ate 16. She ate of them. She told her a candy bars. She's very stupid. And how is half her body dead? It's just, you know what necrotic fleshes? No. Dead flesh.

That's half of her. So half of her will just rock. I don't know if it's the up. The vertical half? I didn't ask. I didn't think it was polite. I don't want him to be like, well, what, you care? Are you worried if you can, you know, I'm like, she's not even, she's underage.

I'm like, I wasn't asking that, but that's where it would go. He was just, well, which half? You know, it's kind of a creepy question. Right. I'm just, I actually have emotional intelligence enough to not ask that in that situation. I would just figure if it was the horizontal half she could have, she can relate to certain people.

What that was being topped up, up, down? She can relate to the top, so she, her arms work but her legs are dead. Yeah. That would be preferable. There are other kids like that. Look, that's why I was thinking in the first place to ask the question because if he said, oh, like yeah, her back,

like her upper half is fine. that I would be like, well, you know, it's not that big of a deal. If it's the vertical half, nobody's going to, nobody relates to that. Imagine if it's that, you know, but the other, the bottom half is alive, but the top is dead. Like, the brain still functions, but nothing's like, nothing else's works. Like, it's just keeping her alive. The brain just sends messages to the legs. Yeah, she can kick.

Yeah, she's a great dancer, actually. Yeah, she can't hear because your ears don't work. But, yeah, but she can, if you kind of use this Morse code, like, with a pin. if you stick a pin in her arm no leg that's that works right you stick a like a shark like a like a butter knife in her leg you do worse code that way she can kind of understand what you're trying to tell her um which is like it's not it's it's something humans creative communication that's what I learn in the hospital with that you know they need contact yeah these conversations could be are like you know people love hearing about how bad vaccines are

why would they want to hear about this, about a little girl who poisoned herself accidentally with a doctor father, her evil doctor father, leaving his vaccines in his briefcase. And why would he make them so tasty? He didn't make, we think doctors make their own vaccines.

He's just some guy who like, you know, they weren't tasty, but she was a dumb kid. Well, if he didn't make them, then why is he evil? I don't know.

I don't think he'd have him in a briefcase. But I mean, whatever. Yeah. You don't nitpick. Again, you want a house? You don't want a house? Trump, you don't want these spurious claims. Anyway, but yeah, so Trump is not, I don't know we got into this, Trump is not,

with Nikki Haley, who I guess is the presumptive second, she's being crammed, she seems like they're trying to cram her down to Republican stroats. I'm not sure, who do you think is behind that, by the way? I mean, she's kind of an establishment Republican, right? I don't know. She was Trump's, like, UN ambassador, wasn't she? I mean, yeah, but before that, we're in there, she was, she ran before, before she became. Oh, she was governor afterwards, right, of something?

Something like that. I don't know. We don't know much of a politics. But I feel like a lot of, like, establishment Republican, I mean, I don't think they like her anymore, but I feel like they were. No, I'm just curious about who, like, is this like, is this Tom DeLay? Is he still alive? Is he behind the scenes?

Remember Tom Delay? Tom Delay? He's one of these old senators who ran stuff for a while. The Coke brother, the one Coke brother who's still alive. Oh, right. Like, who was hitting the Republican Party? I don't know. I just feel like, you know, it seems like if you're going to, like,

combat the most popular guy who's ever lived, which Trump is. It goes, Jesus, Trump, Gandhi, as far as popularity. And then Mao and Stalin. Those are the five. So number two guy, I guess, is Trump. I mean, you're, like, best case, you're just going to get Trump not elected. You're not going to get alien over him. Right.

It seems like you're self-sabotaging. It's probably going to be Trump or, I mean, it's going to be Trump. Yeah, no, it's going to be anyway. So why would you, here's my thing. Why would you want to make an enemy in this guy? Yeah. You know, Tom DeLay, thought he was going to keep me out with his proxy Nikki Haley. I mean, well, what is he going to do for?

He's going to make her U.N. person again? Maybe he makes her like the secretary of state. I don't know. I'll make your secretary of state. You can talk to the Arabs. You could solve Israel. Vivek just Well Vivi bounced huh?

Well point I was gonna say Yes he did he bounced He quit He got like fifth in Iowa That was honestly I expected a little bit more of a Well you over the weekend he got blasted

He really like because he was putting these shirts out That said Something like oh if you Free Trump by voting for Vivek I guess because like he would pardon him I guess It's a very stupid statement um just a lot of

way he's just the guy i don't i can't claim it with a certain didn't that guy like wasn't he involved in his kind of medical scandal with stocks i've heard things people have told me he like was you know allegedly there was pumping dump allegations i'm not sure what i can claim here yeah yeah that his mother was on the board of a company i don't know maybe maybe maybe tom delay and niki haley made all this up right but anyway

Trump called him out on a truth site and said, you know, he's no, he's no good. So, uh, yeah, I guess, I guess you would only stay in because usually the types that I associate with him, they would run a little bit longer just to be like a statement candidate or whatever. Yeah. But I guess he doesn't really have anything to say. Chrissy, like, bounced out before even the, the, the, the, the happened. Right. Chrissy, like, last week just like, I'm sorry.

This is not going to, this is not going to. work. I forgot any tickets through a cruise. Papa John's cruise. So, yeah, so he's gone. But yeah, but Haley's not going to debate now unless Trump's in it and Trump's not debating people because he's like, what am I going to debate you? People are like my children.

I'm going to debate my children. Right. You know? Which I get it. I get it. You were the president? Like, there's not usually, like this, what's the last time this happened? Cleveland?

Like Cleveland Harris, Cleveland lost to Harrison, I guess, after his first term, and he got back. Is anyone else ever run after they were presidents already? That's a good question. I don't, I don't think so. Maybe so, but the point, yeah. He's supposed to take people seriously? Yeah, I mean, it, it doesn't seem like he has to. No, he's still going to win.

It seems like it's just her giving herself, I don't know, an integrity narrative for like why she drops out. I just don't know why she's inviting this guy who's got no problem being very mean to women to like debate him or debate her. Nikki Haley wanted this. She's a dumb broad.

She asked for it. I threw hot coffee in the face. I mean, she's so slapping her. Yeah, I mean, maybe, you know. You think if he physically attacked Nikki Haley, that would be a problem? I mean, what? Honestly, I'm not even sure anymore.

I'm not sure it should be either. I mean, compared to, like, look at all the horror that we do in the world. Like, if he, okay, that's, that's be specific about this. You're saying if he basically beat the shit out of Nicky Haley. I mean slapped her a few, like back and forth, like an old movie. Now, I don't mean like pummeled her like, you know, like, uh, like it's, uh, this boy's life or something. Oh, definitely there would be no negative repercussions.

I mean, hard slap, so. Maybe if he, maybe if he put her in a coma. I mean, if she's got, if she's got that week of a chin, I mean, I still feel bad, but like, is that, I mean, should he be held? I guess you were always accountable for bringing hit people. But I don't think he meant to in that scenario. I'm just. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my scenario.

I'm constructing the reality and you're holding water for drugs. I'm not holy water. I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm just not biased against them. I mean, maybe,

honestly, maybe the more brutal it was, the more it would open the door to like conspiracy theories about it. Yeah. But, but if it was like a light,

what if it was like, take the domestic violence aspect of if he beat up Joe Biden. Okay. And take, if he beat up Joe Biden, nobody would have a problem. Right.

Not even Joe Biden. And I'm not sure is my point. Like I'm saying, I don't mean that. It's like, oh, we've gotten so bad. It's like, it's like, I don't think I could blame him for beating up Joe Biden. I think they should fight each other more. I mean, Joe Biden threatened to punch him. Yeah.

If he wanted, if he wants to start a fist fight, I'll take him. He's like, I'll take him behind the, I'll take him behind the school of the sock hop. And then his brain just started bleeding. But he was like, yeah, he's like, he's like, he can't do a. it up and then he Biden literally can't sit up right anyway

so that's our election coverage right who are you still going to vote with Vivek? You know I mean you know I'll all there's always that you know write an option

right right man write rat Trump in right Trump maybe we look maybe if I wrote in rat Trump do you think they would count it for Trump isn't that the fact that we don't

know the fact that it might create some issues is exactly the right move because look some people would want to get like roped into like a situation of like gumming up an election and i don't want to actually gum one up but i mean just the people insinuating that we did could be good for the show it would be crazy if somehow new york became a swing state in this election and and there's a whole story around whether or not rat Trump counted as a vote for Trump What goes to the Supreme Court And this hanging shad goes to rat cump

This is There's a guy there called rat Trump It's not me Do you think Trump would debate rat Trump Honestly we would I would totally said I would arrange How would you pitch this to him A guy who does a pretty poor

a pretty poor impression of you but it's getting better as he goes along like i don't know what i mean there's so many comics out there who have really good trump impressions right who have like and like even i'm sure podcast hosts like we this is this is we're not really carving out a unique situation here but i do think rat trump is a great name we could we could we could piggyback what was leapfrocks of people with his name get on this get on this we should we get out maybe we get on the ballot and states he's not allowed it. yeah right yeah the rat trump movement and i'll give like i'll give i'll um

i'll make my vice president or whatever right yeah i'm not i got a bad blood but i think that if there is a debate yeah it should be we should arrange so that you can be kind of cast in shadow yeah so no one can see your face they just hear the voice it's really me it's really trump remember that i'm the one who came up with the uh the portion and McDonald's. You live stream into the debate

from a dumpster and your bait in shadow. What a dumpster? I just feel like... Oh, because it's a rat gimmick? I feel like it's rat trumps. Maybe I should get like a rat suit

the way to blow up rats. You know, like, but like it's a costume that a person wears. And I'm dressed like that. My head comes out of the big rat. I go on TV. I mean, this could work. To what end?

I'm not sure. I mean, like, you know, we need a gimmick. Yeah. I think it could work. Right. And my name is Ray. If Brad Trump becomes a, becomes a... And my name is Ray Kump.

That's not why we came up with this, but I mean, it really does work together. It's synergistic. It's synergy. Yeah. Yeah. Blue sky this. That's one of those business terms, right? Hmm.

Hey, babes. Why don't you blue sky. Oh, shit. Um, moving on. What else we have here? We have, is an Amy Winehouse biopic? Yeah. Who's playing Amy Winehouse?

Um, some, uh, some, who you say some whore? You gotta say some whore. Yeah. Uh, Marissa Abella. Go back up. Let me see. She looks nothing like Amy.

She looks like, uh, she looks like, uh, she looks like Jenny Slate kind of. like in a costume a little bit yeah yeah um yeah so some fans are mad about it i like amy winehouse why is that one i mean she's the one that goes like i didn't want to go rehab that one yeah yeah i mean and then she like you know then she overdosed right yeah i'm overdosed i mean i got no ill will towards her. It just seems like, you know, why am I supposed to care about any of one at house?

People are like, like, she's a sacred goat. But, I mean, she sang a kind of a salty song about, like, hey, like encouraging people to be junkboxed, you know, to not get sober. Right. Which is, like, I'm not saying they wouldn't have gotten sober either way, but it just seems like, it seems like a weird thing to, like, encourage people, why don't you try heroin?

And then, like, they, and then she dies for heroin. it seems like a bad, like a bad look. I think it's a bad influence, but yeah. Look, I give her the benefit of, maybe I shouldn't because she was kind of like pushed as an industry darling. Was she? Yeah, for a while.

But like, I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she's... This is like if it bubbles from the wire was pushed industry darling. I don't understand. I give her the benefit of the doubt that she's just singing about her life and she happens to be a drag out. I'm thinking of this whole like, oh, just like, first of all, I'm sick of the justification with a certain extent.

But at least people go, like, what was it? The gangster rap in the 90s. This is what our life is like. Which, you know, all right. That's a, but like, hey, I'm, like, in my life, I'm just like, well, that's just something you choose to do. Right?

Like, being a drunk person. I guess you could argue being a gang member is also what you choose to do. Yeah, that might be more of a choice, to be honest. But, I mean, everyone hates the Eagles, and they were singing when they were doing Hotel California, right? Because it's just like, oh, he's just middle. you know junk boxes right and uh i love hotel californ it's a great song if i that's really rat trump's uh um campaign song and i'm a singing along to welcome to the hotel

california every time you come out on stage in an event they have to play the whole song Is Tiffany Tristan? Got a Mercedes-Benz. Make the cave. Basically, you can tell where I'm out with Amy White House. Right. It seems like just a very sad story. It is sad.

It's like when you see a girl who like jumps in front of the subway accidentally. You know? Well, I don't think they're going to make a biopic about a. girl who just jumps in front of a subway. Accidentally. Maybe they would. Why not, though? Well.

If her song's worrying about being addicted to drugs and not caring, I wouldn't make this argument. It just seems very poor taste to be like, you know, she basically encouraged kids to try drugs. I don't mean pot, like, you know, masculine, pharmaceutical, um, um, e, I just see, whatever. Yeah. Fet and all.

How many kids do you think took fentanyl because of Amy Whitehouse? None, to be honest. I bet you a few. I bet you a few like, well, look, if she's this bluesy, maybe my parents are wrong. Right. Maybe they don't know. Maybe I shouldn't do their rehab.

Well, that's a good point. There's always a little bit of mystique around somebody who's talented and does drugs. They love, they want it. Look, some people don't have it going on like like Rat Trump does. Yeah. And they, and they think it's better than burnout than fade away, as it were. Right. And so I'll be Amy Winehouse and I'll do fentanyl.

But they're just busking. you know, at the, you know, the Lancy J-stop. And then people throwing, you know, just bags of diapers at them. Well, all I could say is I listen to Amy Winehouse in formative years. Yeah. And I always thought she made drugs sound like they would be pretty not great. They would ruin your life. I didn't want to go to rehab.

Well, no, everyone wants to go to rehab. And I said, no, no. Like, that sounds fun. I like YMCA. They play that Sweet 16s probably. Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, and bat mitzvahs. Yeah, all those professional dancers,

their job is to get the kids going. Right. But somehow this woman, yes. He's selling out rehab with balloon letters. Yeah, some guy, some guy, we were talking about last week, the guy at the Oklahoma City Thunder game doing Simon Says,

and he's clapping along to rehab. All right, guys, you guys ready to play Simon says? Didn't want to go to rehab? I mean, And so all this being said, how are people like, what is the argument that she's like, oh, but you can't, like, like she's somehow sacred? Um, yeah, well, yeah, that I just, I mean, I guess some people are mad that it's like the movie goes into her drug addiction, but like, oh, oh, they, I, I think that's a little unfair. I mean, she did sing about it a lot.

What should have covered her time at a purchase college or wherever? Where'd she go to school, Pratt? Her time volunteering at St. Jude Hospital. Yeah. I think if you sing about drugs enough, it makes sense for her biopic to be somewhat about drugs. Yeah. Yeah. What you did it make it because of her innovative use of the B-cord?

No. I mean, she took a lot of huckin. She chewed a lot of horse. And it's not like it's not like it's just her shooting up the whole time. I mean, I saw a couple of frames with her hold on the guitar. You know. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Let's see. At least two minutes is about her making music. But the reactions from Winehouse fans were far from positive. Critics were quick to decry. Winehouse's lack of autonomy over her representation. Well, she's dead. Yeah. Lack of autonomy over representation in the film.

Accused the film's producers of turning a profit from the singer's turbulent later years. Well, she did. How come she's the only one who's allowed to make a profit? I mean, they probably put a lot of money. money in this woman and they they probably lost a lot of money when she died I'm not saying that you get it back I mean that's just that's the you know that's the roll of the dice

but you know it's like you know if I was recruited by some kind of corporation like McDonald's for the new you know like playland abortion clinic initiative whatever I was a spokesman and I just dropped dead I would expect them to try to make a movie about me to like recouped their investment

Right. Yeah? Sure. Yeah, I agree. You think you're only, you can confuse why they were hiring me. So you're saying that maybe the industry is right to, you know, murder artists every once in a while? Well, allegedly. I mean, look, that's a different thing.

You're talking about the alleged situations where artists, you know, musical artists to stop being profitable. But their catalog is more profitable when they're dead. Which is a phenomenon, I mean, but I don't, but Amy Winehouse at that point, only because she was, you know, don't, don't, you know, it only happened because you got so, you know, hard up on drugs. I feel like you kind of feel it out when they're at that point. They come into your office and they're like, yeah, and they're like, okay, maybe it's time to do it a little stabby, stabby. I got, you went on a little secret. The entertainment industry is not UNICEF.

They're not doing it to help you. So, I mean, yeah, I, I, uh, wait, well, um, you got to make it harder for people to kill you if someone could just put a hot shot in your pocket and you automatically take you go hey I didn't buy this I'm not saying it's your fault but I mean you got if I was going to become a recording artist I would have all sorts of booby traps all over my house

I would have um you know like just kind of like catapults fake use I'd have fake me I'd hire homeless fat guys to like you know wander around my house uh while even while I'm home yeah And people over for Fourth of July, like, well, who's that? Like, I'm like, I'm like, oh, he's much less fat than you. I'm like, oh, it was a tough year. Right.

And then when the men come, yeah, right? The music industry men come. Right, yeah. There's, you know, one of them, one of them will have to take the fall. But then the rest of the men, but then the rest of the youth can attack. Well, hopefully, I mean, look, they've got, they'll have, I'll give them the, you know, wrap them up in newspaper with that prison body armor from Oz. Oh, yeah.

You know, or phone books. I'll take some phone books to them. I'm not trying to get them killed. Right. I'm not using them as human fodder. Sure. I'm just saying. It's just me time to, like, you know, set my traps.

I'm going to have hot oil. I'm not, I have cans of hot burning oil with, like, you know, you don't, you don't even have a catering hole. Or you go, like, a sweet 16 or a wedding, like that, but not like a fancy one. But they have those, like, what do they call those? Those little two, those discs that burn? Um, the discs that burn. Yeah, the burn. The Joe.

Oh, okay, yeah. I kind of know what you're talking. You know what I'm talking about. The gel. They goes under the Ziti. Right. Oh, right. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to have those traits. I'm going to have that with, like, oil, like, hot, like, olive oil. And it's going to be, like, propped over a door, right? And so if you don't know, if you don't, if you don't, it's like if you, and, because only certain doors are supposed to be used in my house, right? Right. If you, if you, if you are not, like, you know, if you're not privy to the, today's list of doors.

And you're getting high wobble in your eye. That's one trick, right? I feel like by the end of this, you're going to be horribly burned at least seven times. Half of your homeless army is going to be dead. But you'll still be able to put out synth music. Well, yeah, like the trick. I mean, you'll still be able to upload to keep that sound cloud going. You're like, I'm like the fandom of the opera.

The fat sum of the opera. I guess. I mean, the point is Amy Winehouse couldn't do any of this because she was too busy, you know, encouraging children to take drugs. Oh, you would make a great phantom of the opera. You would make a great phantom of the sense. Listen to the music of tonight. That's one of those songs, right?

Yeah, that's one of them. All right, so are they going to cancel the movie? No, I think it's still coming. Who directed this, Martin Scorsese? Um, no, I don't think so. It doesn't seem like they really mentioned the director that much. It's going to be like that, uh, queen biopic. Oh, the Bohemian Rhapsody.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not for these music biopics. We don't need, these musical artists have nothing to say. And honestly, Bowie was like, did Bowie? But Bowie, like, they didn't even include the good parts of, but I didn't watch the movie, but I'm sure they didn't. They made it seem like he was shy. I'm supposed to look at this shit.

Are there really any good biopics about, musicians um la bamba la bamba was good it's all right richie it's scary about me it kind of sounds like rat trump that was by richie you were so you would see the bomba yeah a long time ago yeah that's great um that's probably it people might be some people will say walked along but i hate that movie

yeah i don't really like it either i i don't really like it either i i viewed him as a fraud you know people oh you kill the man and read them just to watch your die and people oh you want to actually kill yes if you're gonna sing about that

then you have to do it now why do I give JZ I don't give JZ a pass I would tell JZ the same thing like did you really have a Mac on your dresser or whatever you rap about did you ever wrap about killing people I don't think so you may have rapped about

having guns or something yeah I mean they don't I mean because I think people who like are the ones who kill people tend some people do it some people will rap when they're not supposed to. But I think in that world, there's always people who get very mad. You can rap about, like, you know, having drug business stuff, you know, you can wrap

about having a brick guitar. But if you say you kill, you know, and it's like, they start going, like, you know, that's what happened with Tupac, I think. Now, I don't know what the store, but, you know, people are going to get mad? Why are you saying all this stuff? You don't get, you know, you didn't earn it. Maybe he did. I don't know.

Point is, I'm not going to get killed that way. because I'm not I'm just going to have hot oil everywhere Is olive oil the best one? Of the ones you buy in the store I know like tar like that stuff I feel like vegetable oil

That might be a good one Cogan oil is supposed to be good You know Well you want something with a low boiling point right Yeah For burning For pasta For burning human fun

We'll probably end up using these for dinner A lot of the time too We're gonna like take You know, like, oh, because that, think it this way. Like, all we're wasting on is hot oil. No, because, like, dinner time, oh, we grab a tray of oil off the, you know, bathroom door, and then it's already hot. Is your army eating with us? Like, do they have a place at the dinner table?

Yeah, well, look, I mean, we already had these trays. It's not a big deal to throw a few pounds of pasta into them. That's a good point, yeah. Well, you're going to begrudge them some pasta? It's like a dollar a box. Come on. They might get stabbed. You least feed them some pasta.

I hope they don't understand. I was just wondering if they ate with us or if they had sort of a family meal in the back somewhere. I think sometimes they'll eat with us and sometimes they won't. Sure. And we won't make a big deal about it.

That makes sense. If you make a big, you know, you don't want them to think they have to eat with us. Right. Or some great, we think it's some great, hey, you can eat with us today?

Oh, can we? Oh, thank you. Like, I mean, who's insulting that is? Are they going to eat with us if they want to? How magnanimous have you? Yeah. Are you going to eat next to a man

You know, just burn with oil all the time accidentally. We used a queen, the queen of England. You lost. They're going to end up killing us, our own people, because you're like more your Antoinette. You got to be more respectful of my boys, my homeless boys. They got to have pasta. I guess they're not homeless anymore because they live in our house.

That's true. Yeah, they have a home. Right. Our home. Formerly homeless. Look, this is the house you're going to get because you didn't support my Trump impression enough, all right? If you support me more, maybe we get out of mainstream house. It doesn't have homeless people who live inside of it.

But I mean, right now, our only safe bet is that we might one day live in like a fun house situation with a bunch of, you know, formerly homeless men who help protect us. Right. Yeah, it doesn't sound too bad. Well, it's not the best. I prefer, I prefer privacy, but, you know. Um, what else we got going on? What's this, uh, poly mom, this is a polymom thing. Um, how a polyamorous mom had a big sexual adventure, ugh, and found herself.

This is in the New York Times. This is about some, you write this already? You read some of this? Yeah. I saw the headline before, and I pointed it out. Um, I have no idea what this is, you want to take us through this a little bit? Sure. I mean, just that headline, you know what you're in.

for a lot of it's like it's what do you find out that you like sex yeah what polyamorous means what you like some stuff you like in your hands while you also get having sex like is that like group sex like when you're having your husbands have male man's having sex with me or my husband I hold my husband's hand and then these other guys you know do stuff with my mouth that's basically what it is I don't yeah doesn't everyone like that for anyone prone to experiencing second-hand embarrassment. There's a scene in Molly Rodin's winter debut,

more, a memoir of an open marriage that should come with a warning. Oh, this is a play? It's a memoir. Winter. Okay. Her name is Molly Winter. Molly Winter. Okay, go ahead.

Winter is at her home in Brooklyn. Oh, Brooklyn. We're from Brooklyn. Oh, we live in Brooklyn. You guys killed. We can't wreck Brooklyn. that we're transplants she is she is just okay winter is at her home in Brooklyn she has just had sex with her boyfriend while her two children sleep upstairs all right weird what i mean honestly

it's just a fact i mean look is there anything wrong with that i don't know probably that depends how big your house is i get i don't know but why are you telling me right the instinct to tell me where your children are after you told me you had sex just i'm not saying it makes you a pet whatever am i being the cue or not but this it's just odd Also, there's enough telltale signs in this That this family has money Yeah It's like, why don't you get an hotel?

Right Why don't you get a? I just have sex with my boyfriend Right after I told my son Santa Claus was going to give them a little treat No, it's not as good if I don't know that my kids are there Right My parents my kids should know I might be having sex

I don't ever, they'll never see it But they know they smell it I wanted to smell it in the air It doesn't where I can't come Unless my kids have to make awkward conversation With some big dick idiot Yeah Over breakfast

Right It's like oh you're oh that's really cool You're a work in a surf shop cool And you know it's just like It's just begging the question Of like are you having any negative impact on your kids with this? Of course And it's just like

And you just know that it would just be some sloth like I they're happy because I'm happy right they can't be happy unless I'm happy just raise your kids just stop having sex just stop stop acting like you need sex all the time just have just use mess just use your hand your mother use your hand oh but I can't I can't make my I can't raise my kids unless I'm you know getting getting a lot of merry people don't have sex they're fine you know what is this whole idea that like you have to be coming all that the time. Right.

Or you can't, like, you know, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You can't read your kids, you know, Arthur the Ant or whatever it's called. Was it, Mr. Arthur? Mr. Arthur. What's the one? Who are we thinking of? Mr. Arthur. The Arthur.

The Artvark. Yeah. Who am I thinking of? That's a show, isn't it? I don't know. I'm just saying, I don't have, like, I don't have kids. I don't have to know this stuff. Every time I read where the wild things are to my kid.

I'm just, I'm just so angry that I'm not. fucking I'm not in an anal swing I'm not in an anal swing okay her husband Stewart consented to her Trist

What? Oh wait she's married Yeah Oh that's a power Oh a poly doesn't mean it wants Yeah they're married But they're all They're fucking all these other people

Oh that's just so indulgent Her husband Stuart consented to her trist But feeling guilty She dashes naked into the kitchen to text him. Don't worry, she writes. He has nothing on you as a lover.

Oh, my, I mean, look. But instead of texting her husband, she accidentally, that on purpose, sends the message to her boyfriend who leaves in a huff and later breaks up with her. Winter, devastated, begs her husband to come home to comfort her. This isn't even real. This is just like,

honestly, everything's fake. It does kind of sound a little fake. This is what, like, some stupid broad in Brooklyn thinks it's like some clever, like, you know, turn of events. Noddy. Oh, I actually, the reality of this is like, you know, I met this guy at, um, at, at, and, uh, at, and, uh, he ignored my safe word.

And he, and he bruised my neck up and then I'd go to the E.R. But I told my kids, I fell off his, um, like, skateboard. I'm just, like, I'm all, I'm all for women being happy. But Polly is like, this is, this is like, you know. know how about you how many times too much too much it's too much don't do it with the kids there how many how just cheat on each other how many years would you have to wait like you know i mean these kids how old's gonna read these kids i i don't know no i know but i'm saying presumably i mean i don't know 13 10 9 there's nothing anything there's nothing healthy about being a palia i mean

socially we're gonna have you're gonna have some guy some some fucking cocktail waiter that you met and he banged you in the ass you're gonna come to your pta meetings with your husband there are certain things we don't have to seek to understand yeah like there's certain things that it's so dumb i i bet you're right though you're on to something with that it being fake thing oh yeah it's like it she probably pitched this as a novel it's like a naughty She probably said if it's true at all she sent him to her kids She said I have a picture of his

Mediogre dick to the kids Here's what really happened If it's real at all She fucking like He went to go take a piss And she took a picture of his dick And it wasn't that big And she said to her husband

The showroom So he's not nothing on you That's why he would have left But she accidentally sent it to her kids And he's like I can't believe you Show up your kids my penis It's terrible

I mean, she was going to jail for this. Then later she was like, I want to put this in my book. And he's like, I had, Timmy's going to kill himself if you put it in the book. Okay, I'll say, I'll say I said it to Roger. Whatever the fuck. Her husband? Whoever she's fucking. You don't think she has a husband?

No, she, I think she has a husband. No, she says, oh, she's Roger, right? Yeah. Yeah. Whoever. The civil servant who, uh. Civil servant who. The civil servant. Factor.

Fuck your ass. Uh, I go. But. But she went into the publishing company and she was like, I have this novel. It's a naughty comedy of errors. Yeah. And the publisher was like, this is great. But, you know, the horror in chapter three?

Can you just say that to you? Can you just say it's you? And she's like, okay. Oh, wait, the novel is it since the novel? Or she kept pitched it as a fiction. Right, yeah. They were like, you got to. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Can't be you just you taking it in the ass all the time? Well, yeah, I have kids. All right. But when we look weird if I have kids, I'm like, I don't care. we trust of books I mean it's far from the only agonizing and breathtakingly

candid scene in Moore oh it's called Moore yeah it should be called horror which documents winters often turbulent

experience of open marriage I mean she's asking for that right you wouldn't I mean that's got to be on purpose right you want people to make that

I mean honestly like we're talking about we're calling her or the book you know like that's good part that's smart publishing that's a smart title because she knew everyone was going to call her horror it takes it takes this thing out of it the resentment and jealousy she felt toward her husband's girlfriend oh oh they're both polly oh she made it seem like they were uh yeah i assumed he was he was probably i thought he was just a cog but then why would she need to like send him a text like saying oh well he's not he has nothing on you

with a love as a lover because she's a because she's a because she's an attention starved dork right these people should start like why they just become like bikers old ladies or whatever yeah and then you you roam around the country you get pissed on and beat

that's exciting and you can never see your kids how about you do that and make a book out of that let's call it hell's horror it hell's angel do I sound do I sound and, like, what's the prude? A little bit, but honestly,

this article made me feel that way, too. I just thought, look, I'm all for people coming. Look, go, go have sex in an alley somewhere. I don't care. Just not make a, do make a book. Don't make some cute book out of it. If you and your husband want to consensually, like,

cheat on each other? Show her picture, yeah. That's fine. Show her picture. It's the fact that she thinks she can be this kind of like, hey, I'm the Brooklyn woman, right? Like, I'm just the Brooklyn mom. Like, no, like, it's just not,

This shouldn't be like a cute anecdote. Look, I don't, I'm a sex, you're a sex addicts. There's only so, so mean, I only want to be so mean about this, but it's like, but they're just never hot. Right. The people who do this are never hot. Right. Yeah. It's just amazing, like, I can just keep thinking, you just hear all these, like, wild stories and you're expecting, like, you know, like, you thought Kate Upton was going to be, uh,

I don't remember the Brooklyn mom. You thought it was going to be like, you thought it was going to be Penelope Cruz or whoever, I don't know. Who's the big hot one these days? Kendall, Kenzel Jenner? Sidney Sweeney. You know Sidney Sweeney was going to be the Brooklyn mom? This was the best one.

She said, I felt like there were no stories from the mainstream about it. And I felt very closeted. It often feels like mothers are not. not supposed to be sexual beings you can have mothers are supposed to be sexual beings it doesn't mean that you go when you take your kids to get ice cream it doesn't you don't go like take some guy into the toilet and have them you know shove a show a chaco taco up your uh you know good humor you know she's like when we when did we rebrand like people who are like who like

or like just literally sex addicts right as like polly when did that happen Like, it's like, hey, I can't, like, you know, I can't come with a guy's got a gun to my head. Oh, you're so frisky. Her kid's like, hey, mom, could you, could you just stop sucking guys off under the bleachers of my soccer games? Yeah. What do you want me to not be a sexual being? Yeah, she's like, doing your mom. She brings, like, that big blanket and she thinks no one knows, everyone knows.

Everyone knows. They've sent letters to the BDA. And, like, they're not sure. Like, and she, like, the principal's like, I'm not. She says she's Polly. I'm not sure if I can do anything about it. But he's just, he's just, he's just lonely. He's just trying to get something. Well, you know, Polly's Polly's like a religion, right?

Yeah, a lot of internalized misogyny in this culture. Would you tell a trans person they can't, uh, be that? Well, well, this is Polly. Same thing, right? She brings a, she brings a thermos of hot chocolate. But it's a pretty good hot chocolate, too. Just saying, you know, like, I'm not saying she's a terrible. I bet it's made from scratch.

But it doesn't make up for the fact you're traumatizing your kids. But, you know, she's making an effort. You'd be surprised at how big a place the hot chocolate will take in their memory. Sure. Like the, like the proofs. How big? How big? It's going to be about.

Show me with your hands. How big? It's got to be about nine inches of memory. and thick. Oh, man. Like the Proustian Madeline, that hot chocolate will be. Oh, right. Did anyone get...

I get the reference. You think remembers if things passed would be better if instead of a Madeline cookie was a nine-ch-cock? Of course. There were so many novels that would be better. Instead of anything, it was a nine-inch cock. Should read more Proust. The sled or whatever.

Ethan Frome. That was a nine-inch cock. I know what that means. What's Ethan Frome? I don't even really know if there was a sled in that story. What's Ethan Frome? It's some dumb novel. Right.

I don't know. More. I'm not Brooklyn Mom. I don't get your Luzberry references. More, which double day were released on January 16th. Is that Martin Luther King Day? It was a day after. They were smart in the way today.

It's landing at a moment when Pollyamory is drifting from the margins to the mainstream. Is it? About a third of American surveyed in a U-Gov poll in February of 2023 said they preferred some form of non-monogamy in their relationship. That's hoarse shit. I mean, maybe, whatever. Uh, I mean, it's like, just at this point, it's like, just at this point, it's like, just, just, I mean, unless I don't maintain, like, I've always been alone.

I guess unless you get off on telling each other what you did or whatever, just people used to find a way to cheat. No, sure. You know, people used to just go. You know, what happened to the car? Yeah. It was late in night. It made it dirtier.

What happens to the thrill of an affair, the thrill of a cop pulling you over? And you had to like, you know, give him a taste, you know, or else he would, you know, file you, book you for lewd behavior. What happened to that, those days? This woman needs to learn how to get fucked in cars. It just seems like all I hear about is how men can't get one woman. To me, this is just like an adulterist who's picky about things. Right.

It's just like, it's just like I want to have a, have a trist. But I need to be in my own bed. Yeah. Enough, enough. All right. Hold on. Can you wait? Did I say you could do that?

that, again, I'm not advocating for not having consent. Right, yeah. But I just see that that's the tone. Did I say, you kiss my neck? Polyamory paradox and the polyamory, I mean, seriously, though, this is, who, who, how do you describe this? I mean, do you believe the men or do you believe these women? Because I feel, I feel like the men are all saying we can't have, no one who left

sex of us, and Brooklyn moms are all like, no, we're having, you know, uh, um, polyamorous trifts everywhere. Well, I've never believed the men who say no one will have sex with me. Right. Someone will have sex with you. You think you go fatter. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I just think. Or uglier. Like, yeah, look, there are certain exceptions always. Wheelchip. Oh, you know. I don't know.

Yeah. I'm just saying, like, I don't be Ken Jennings over there. But, I mean, literally, whatever. You fucking. But I also don't believe this shit. Yeah. I don't believe either one. Everyone should stop having sex.

It just bugs me. I feel like half the guys who responded to this that they like some degree of non-monogamy in their relationship gave their wife herpes. Yeah. Oh, sure. There's always going to be that. Yeah.

Just riddle with just bad cum. Anyway. So Amy Winehouse. I gave her herpes and, you know, She almost kicked me out of the house But then I threatened to You know I threatened to say that she was drugging her kids

So yeah I would say I prefer some degree of non-monogamy In my relationship I gave her her peace She kicked me out Very nasty woman A very nasty woman I'm polyamorous Polyamorous

Pollyamorous Trump All right Well we should wrap this Thanks so much for tuning in Remember you get if you want more comp you get the Patreon Patreon.com slash rate com

you get extra episodes every week for five bucks five bucks a month so you can check that out otherwise you know we'll see you next week right here thanks for tuning in Thank you.