Kump - Ep. 162 Ray vs Swift

Episode Date: February 4, 2024

Ray connects Taylor Swift to the war on terror, and they discuss Facebook on trial. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Kamp. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Before we get into this, because we were discussing, we have a Patreon, don't forget you, you subscribe. to the YouTube channel if you could subscribe on a podcast apps

patreon.com slash raycump you get an extra episode every week for five bucks a month that's also an option good deals all around subscriptions free and otherwise I here's my problem with swifties

I grew up in a time in the aftermath well I came of age let's just say in the aftermath of the 9-11 so I don't so easily give in to terrorists as so many of you seem to be willing to do I wouldn't let al-Qaeda uh if they were you know whoever they actually were whoever actually

pulled purse strings on them I don't let them tell me uh who I can uh which artists I could I didn't let them say I couldn't listen to Tupac Shakur or or uh Mariah Mariah Carey or if I couldn't condemn them. I couldn't say Marikari. Well, I couldn't stand her. Can't stand you. Wouldn't let Osama Laden tell me that. I wouldn't let the Irish Republican Army, which my grandpa, great-grandpa was a part of. It was hung because he was part of it. You know what happened to the Irish Republican Army? They disbanded at 9-11 because they were like, oh, America doesn't give any quarter of the terrorists. And we're not going to be tolerated anymore. more, but we tolerate the Swifties telling us who we can and can't critique.

You were afraid, Lucy. My wife, my podcast partner, you know, don't include me in your plan tirade, which I didn't have. I didn't have a tirade plan. I wasn't, you know, going after Taylor Swift, per se. But you're, but you, you brought some attention that, you know, hey, these swifties are pretty brutal and they'll seek recompense. Look, I'm not afraid of the Swifties.

You say that now because no one wants to be seen. Everyone on September 12 was like, hey, I don't like Bin Laden. You're like one of those, but you're a Johnny come lately to the Bin Laden fight. I think the Swifties are misunderstood. Sure. And, you know, they're probably very fine people. You think the other ones you took down the towers? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

I think they were a little young for them. that the different kind of terrorism although I'd love to see them part of justice for that there is no age limit on Swifty there's it's a good point you think they finally catch Zubakaya what's his name

you're like one of those people who is the guy they called they got bin Laden but they never got the other guy right I don't wait around for you to figure out this guy's name Zakarri you think Zakari is he still alive I forget Zucari

and see and if not, is he part of the Swifties? Maybe. Was Akhmed Shalabi, who was supposed to be our friend in the Iraq war, but it turned out to be no help? You know, the Iraqi dissident who came back, who, who gave, who was trying to hand us, basically hand us the keys to the post-war Iraq? And what happened to that guy?

Was he too busy listening to Love Story on his, on his nomad, M.E3 player? Is I River Back in 2003 Go on You had something to say In your defense I just don't agree with Look I don't understand

I'm not a Swifty Right You're a swift boat veteran for truth That's what you are You're that kind of swiftly You want to take John Terry now A war hero Or otherwise

Or otherwise Or not A war a person who was president wore at least doing something whether he whether he was fighting for his country or or

bastardizing the uniform he wore in attempt to get veterans blown up John Kerry was at war I'm just I'm just I'm skeptical of people who

take a young lady. Young lady. You're being generous, I think. And, uh, a middle. Am I a young lad? Is she like my age? Is this like fucking in her 40s? How old is Taylor Swift?

I don't know. Alas. Alas of any age. Sure. Um, who has a, who has like a nice, uh, you know, a fan base that likes her. I mean, at what point you're going to stop the, are you going to stop? fighting online for the for the virtue of a 45-year-old woman who smoked cigarettes called

whose name is whose name should be daddy she should be a diner waitress and infer that there's something nefarious about that that there's something nefarious about the ladies coming together and enjoying each other that's not what's happened you enjoy you look enjoying each other requires no online one way or the other you just listen and just and be quiet it's all it requires No, no one's clapping back at me. And no one's threatening my wife for clapbacks. All right, that's where we draw the line. I'm not getting clapped back at.

I refused to let Swiftie's clap back at my ass. Now, why are we talking about Taylor Swift in the first place? Now, look, I'm not sure why Taylor Swift is like the only beneficiary of any kind of female solidarity. Sure. But it just kind of shakes out. How can Hillary Clinton get this to Taylor's first treatment? Oh, not even a fraction of it. They let Donald Trump just stomp all over her tits.

Just spit cigarettes. You know, he's just spitting tobacco juice in her face on the ground. Yeah. Right? Like kill Bill or whatever. I'm thinking of. Women who voted for her were like, yeah, get her. Yeah.

Oh, big daddy's coming to get, get, the Ditsy Hill. The Ditsy Hill, I call her. the Clint Hint clill Anyway Jumping off that I didn't go anywhere The hint clip

Ooh You always Women are always Most vicious Against other women That's the irony of it You want to pretend Like women

Come to the defendant of the women But you're always the most vicious Now all I said Earlier on today Among other things Was that you know Why is Taylor Swift I'm not a big football fan

I don't watch a lot of football crazy you know it's there it's America I see football no but you want a bandwagon on this idea that she's destroying

the integrity of the game I never look there's no integrity to football right it's it's a faux you know it's a game but it's like this idea like this this faux Americana they put on football

this idea it's just it's just it's a gambling I mean I enjoyed some gambling earlier in the year on some football I'm not above it but let's not pretend like it's just some some apple pie virtue you know, it's a bunch of, it's trash, it's America.

I mean, it's a worse than basketball. It's a worse, but, you know, but I was just saying, let's not pretend like it's just something like, this is Ken Burns baseball. Even that was, you know, Ty Cobb just beating on a disabled guy. Who kind of had it coming? He did I have it coming. You know, this man has no, Ty, this man has no leg.

I don't care if he has no hands. that's a true story um that's just a great line yeah to say as azure being a man i don't care he has no uh face i even i can improvise as well as tycobs the great tycobs um all i said was you know football is one of the biggest things in this country not to montana because i made it that big i'm not sitting there with cheese heads with cheese hat i'm not you know I think Aaron Rogers sucks And not because of politics

I think he sucks as a Jeopardy host All right But my point is As far as I know Patrick Mahomes is one of the greatest You know athletes The world's ever known perhaps He's certainly the fate

Should be now to face the league Well maybe Aaron Rogers is one left But I mean he's the next Brady basically Next Tom Brady He's already got two rings And who They're mad at Taylor Swift They're in the, they're in the Super Bowl now.

And who do we see is Travis Kelsey's dumb face everywhere? This aging recluse. So you're saying. This guy who's like, yeah, she's a good player. I was a tight end, I guess. I don't know. But he's not exactly Patrick Mahomes. He's at the star quarterback, the guy who's a mobile, a mobile artillery,

a guy who could run the ball. That was, I've been on one of those games. He was just running. When he couldn't get a guy to pass through, he was running him by himself. Such an athlete. I made some money on them, you know? I saw firsthand how much money I could make of Patrick Mahomes. Nothing left.

Travis Kelsey might have caught one. I don't forget. I don't pay attention to tight ends. They're not a real fan. I'm a fair weather fan. Would you be less upset if Taylor Swift was having sex with Patrick Mahones? I mean, yes. Yeah.

Well, sure. I mean, I'm not saying that Kelsey deserves no. I don't know exactly where he falls, but he's not Patrick Mahomes. But all I see is, is, Kelsey's face with the cheese win in the Super Bowl. She's disrupting the meritocracy. Yes, yes. And she's not, I don't think she's a very good singer.

So there's that. I thought Love Story was a cute song 20 years ago. And all of a sudden I turned around years later. And it's like, oh, Teleth was the biggest in the country singing songs like, you know, about New York. Is she from New York? Is she from the, the Hell's Kitchen? why is she singing about the M&M store I wake up and I go to the M&M store

welcome to New York it's like this woman is like is the new share she's the new like you know the gay guys like her does she taking that role of like no way she's not a diva right there's no way gay guys like I mean who else would they like now

I mean I assume they like Beyonce Lady Gaga look I'm not I know, yeah, her star seems to be going to fall in a bit, but she still has certain pockets of entertainment, you know. Look, I'm not a big Lady Gaga fan, but I respected it a lot more than, you know, the Swift, the Swift Bo Veterans of Truth. You know?

I mean, what they did to John Kerry, he's these swifties. Yeah, that was out of line. I don't know why she became the person, the New York person. Going to Sabarro on a Tuesday night. She's the Michael Scott of Music. She's the thing about New York. I mean, where she grew up?

Connecticut? She grew up in Connecticut, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I take the ferry from Mystic Aquarium to the South Seaport. Welcome to New York, the immigrant story. Go for a tour around the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. Honestly, like, she's like, all these immigrant stories or Balke-Bortakamos and perfect strangers.

He's an iconic shot of him. That's my, that's my iconic view of the Statue of Liberty is barking about Takamus from perfect strangers looking at those Sandra Liberty. Regardless. I just hit the camera. It's fine. It's fine. I'm excited.

But I'm saying her, she's one of those girls who would have, I used to shoot Sweet 16 sometimes on these boats that would leave off the West Side Highway. Oh, party boats. Party boats. And in Sweet 16 girls, they had a little tour of the Satcher of Liberty or the party. Yeah, dancing queen, whatever. Tell us one of those girls, Connecticut girls. Oh, this is what it's all about. You look at Taylor Swift and you see some spoiled 16-year-old.

Not as to, well, look, give it you shit. I'm not saying she didn't work for it. I'm just, but artistically, look. Did the girls at these parties ever give you shit? They might have been doctors for all I know. I know one wanted to be a veterinarian or something. I remember this I had to sit around

in 316s and like photograph these like you know candle lighting ceremony and like you know every candle you know they have like 13 candles

or 16 candles or whatever and everyone's a friend they have oh you you stood by me when I try to kill myself from bulimia your candle number five goes to

Stacy you know and then I have to yell at them, hold on, because they were trying to walk away. No one seems to pay attention to what's going on on the dance floor or at this point, like, you know, whatever you call it, the dais, the makeshift dais. Because for an hour at this point, if you witnessed any, if you pay any attention, you would see a fat man yelling at children going, hold on, take your picture first,

get a picture. One more, you know? Yeah. And the big flash goes off. And you would think about at a certain point, they would catch on, but they don't catch on. Right. Every time these ditsy girls, I got to snap and get their attention. I couldn't set my fingers.

I don't have the power. I still can't. So I'd yell like a maniac, a sweaty maniac. But did they ever directly try to challenge you or challenge your authority? I mean, no, because they didn't have the power. Right. I mean, imagine the kind of 16-year-old girl that would be like, no. To me, it's a maniac.

hold on I got to make you look pretty in a picture I mean sometimes they would just kind of be weirded out by me that's the power you know 16 year girls have is to be creeped out by me right but the point is you know they were talking about their yeah sometimes they were talking about

in their speech at the end they would be I want to be a veterinarian or whatever or doctor so maybe some of those girls are I don't not respect them yeah as adults women so if she was one of those girls it's not because of that it's just you know but you shouldn't be singing about the bowery in the lower east side i mean it's basically NYU territory anyway

nowadays but you know like is she's actually she's lew reed you know what is this she's like bowie in the 70s a cop now kiss the feet of a priest The queer threw up in the start of that. I'm Taylor Swift. Get her with. She's being fair. She's thinking about seeing the Empire State Building, not having sex with some girl and then letting her OD on her dad. She doesn't even have, at least like a girl like Rebecca Black back in the day.

You got the impression she was trying to pretend to be a person of substance. Taylor Swift is just like. Rebecca Black? Yeah, remember her was the weekend Friday girl? She was trying to, you know, who was the other one before her? I'd love to hear you explain how Rebecca Black was trying to be a person of substance. Well, maybe she, all right, are you just making the point that Taylor Swift is the, like, the, the, the artistic daughter of Rebecca Black, you know, Rebecca Black walks and Taylor Swift could run. Maybe a little bit.

Because I never see so, I mean, you know, like, waiting a guy was a rich girl, I'm pretty sure. not to say she wasn't talented Well, you know, not Maybe she'd probably argue Because she's like, I didn't have my own elephant back then Like, fair enough You got more money But I don't know

They weren't like the kids from a west side story Who probably these days You know, middle class anyway Right All those gang members And West Side Story They probably own houses Who made realistic nowadays

They own like real estate In the Hell's Kitchen Or wherever that war was that I think they were all renters. Fair enough. It's hard to own. Yeah. They bought back then.

If they used their gang power to buy one apartment. Oh, yeah. Just share? They'd be wealthy. Yeah, all of them, very wealthy. Oh, man. They're getting stabbed all night. Point is, I don't know why we're like,

these swifties are like, no, they don't talk shit about, what's her name? She's, no, they, if you ever, like, I don't care about the mystique in New York, but I mean, like, you know, you love Bob Dylan. I love Bob Dylan

And like, would you imagine Bob Dylan sells fences now or something So he's lost Artistic fences Artistic iron fences Bespoke Is he a welder? Is he a underwater welder?

He might know He may have learned at a weld Well Probably not underwater We talked a lot on the Patreon episode This week He's a renaissance man About the pompousness

Of blue collar workers It's tuning for that It's valid point These blue collar workers Think there's so much better Salt of the Earth Than then then than regular people.

I mean, the average person that's to work, like, has to work on a cubicle. I don't want to. I'm like, I work with my hands. All right. Why don't you tell me about your wonderful kids and your wife, too, when you're out? You have a wife, a house?

I own a house. Oh, okay. Like, it doesn't feel bad? Anyway. So Taylor Swift, I'm just, look, I don't know why we're letting her white. She whitewashes everything.

She's whitewash football. What did she whitewash? New York. Oh, New York. Yeah, she did whitewash? Yeah. I mean, did she sing about Rick Moranis getting punched in the face? In her New York song?

Hey, the guy from honey, I shrunk the kids just got his jaw broke. Welcome to New York. Welcome to New York. He got such a hard life. Honey, I shrunk his lifespan. Welcome to New York. You know, we're like the guy, you know, little shop of, a little, some little shop of horror reference, Ghostbusters, you know, nothing.

And we're all just letting her piss all over everything. I mean, Kanye was right. Not about the, you mean, not about this. You love single ladies? You love that music video? Was that one? I mean, honestly, I like Beyonce. I'm not like one of these people who are like, oh, but you got to get Beyonce's new lemonade

or whatever it is. but it does seem like has a little more substance at least she has a personality I can't even picture talking to Taylor Swift she seems like a robot I think

I think that you would enjoy talking to Taylor Swift I think if you You've been trying to get me to have fantastical sex of her I just want you to have a realistic view of whether you would have sex with her I said to you you asked me

if I had to save the world yeah I would say I will By entering her, which is, which it seems crude. I would never say that. Imagine, imagine having a wife who she was like prodding you to like to say this. I would never say this about a woman. That is such an insane. What?

That is such an insane bar to make Taylor Swift clear. Is that it would have to, it would have to save the world? Well, I mean, I'm a married, I'm not breaking my marital vows. I don't use that as an excuse. I'm not making my marital vows for this candle sculpture. This, you know, she looks like she was made by the, by the old Hickory candle company, where it's called? The Yankee Candle Company.

She looks like if the Yankee Candle Company was a woman. You're getting to... Remember that store in the mall that would sell candles, elaborate candles? Look, they're nice candles. It is nice. Yeah, that's a nice store. Yeah.

You walk through and it smells like cinnamon. Imagine that store was a woman. You wouldn't have sex with that woman. It's been a wax. It's a wax person. Well, even that, look, when it gets warm, it's... It's probably nice. This is how women get you

We're in court one day Going like did she catch you Yeah she called me And what were you doing You know what she was doing Objection Were you inside of a candle When she caught you

She gave me the idea You're trying to get me To go inside a candle In the biblical sense I'm not falling for it Would you really be okay with me Making love to a wax woman A wax, a wax, a wax dolly, you know,

I'm gonna madame two so's. It just disturbs me. And use the heat, use a, a heat gun. It just disturbs. You know, you know, like a blow dryer In certain spots to get it, prep it. It probably, I'm just saying it wouldn't, probably wouldn't feel bad.

A lot of things wouldn't feel bad. You're not supposed to, like, base what you, what you would do with your genitals based on what wouldn't feel bad. I wouldn't hurt. Yeah. It wouldn't hurt. Right. Look at it.

If you got a hump, it's better than humping the inside of a razor blade, I guess. What's the point? I'm a man. I have five standards of where I'll put my stuff. My dick and balls. It just, it disturbs me that you don't, that you can't imagine yourself. you know, happily having sex with an attractive woman. Look, I mean, I, wait, wait, why are you so eager to get me to like,

want to, like, what if I, now, what, what's going to happen if I end up with her? I'll, I'll, I'll be devastated. The point is like, but like, what would you, like, how are you, it's not about, oh, what have I left you for? It's like, how would you feel if you provoked me? Stop trying to provoke me into breaking our vows. I don't want to cheat on you with Taylor Swift I know I'm sorry

Why do I have to like I'm sorry look would I if I was If nothing was going on and you didn't exist I was single If nothing was going on That's a better That's more of a realistic If I had nothing to do

Yeah I mean I guess Is that our standard for Diva nowadays Is that we put You give Grammys to The person, the girl at the bar who you what I mean I'm not I know I understand optics I'm not saying like oh I should be the arbiter of like I mean it's my point is though like but we have this idea like she's some great star like she's this oh look she's so beautiful she's oh this she's oh this she's so that she's fun she's a woman

she doesn't have to be hot right to be a person that's true I respect her as a person just not as an artist or as a woman that one I'm sex with I don't care that's fair I mean I but just imagine Why do I have to? Just try to imagine. Why every man and one or six of every woman? It's women that are threatened by this. Because they think all their powers in that. They think all their powers and we want them special treats, those pussy treats.

If we stop wanting them, oh no. How are you going to outsmart us then? How about you make puzzles? Get, make Sudoku's or something. You know, learn to make puzzles. Trick, you know, what, trick, you know, what, trick, in other ways without just dangling a pouch of pussy.

Yeah. Just relax and get into a meditative state for a second. Because I just want you to see this clear. I want you to just shed the indoctrination away. What indoctrination? The male indoctrination of like of this woman's... No one, no, I've never met another man who agreed with me about this. What are you talking about?

Just let it melt away. I mean, Travis, tell me. he's like a man's man supposedly and he's umpenter i mean i don't know if you actually are maybe a PR move what is he planning on doing though is he is he trying is he trying to be like the next host of jeopardy Travis kelsey does he want to be an NCIS or something like that why is he why is he making a PR relationship with tennis swift i don't know I think they make a lot of money together yeah just exposure i'm not sure yeah well what's his But selling jerseys?

But selling, what's he doing? Selling jerseys? Or she's just paying him a salary. You know, because she's getting the NFL, you know, views. Yeah. She's every time they play, it's like, it's like, oh, screw Obama.

Here's, here's Travis, she's Kelsey and Taylor Swift. We don't care about Obama. He used to be the biggest thing in the world. Now it was Taylor Swift and Chelsea. Obama showed up on my YouTube ads today. I was going to say, you were in high school prom or something. They kind of freaked me out because it's been so long

since I saw him. Yeah, since his Butler, you know, since his man, male chef, was he? His chef died in a pond. Wait, no, no, no. I was going to say, I was going to say Big Mike, but that's not what people call a chef. No.

Didn't his chef die in a pond? His chef, yeah, drowned in a pond or something. You shouldn't be able to drown. Yeah, I'm not Who lets their chef see things That aren't to be seen Look, I mean, maybe he was looking for the oregano Or the paprika

Like, you know, maybe they use it Maybe he knows that they used it For fun What are they having conspiracy talks In the pantry? No, I'm saying maybe he knows Oh, I know they like to use it during sex Oh, right, oh, because that's the theory

Is that they caught They saw the sexual secret Between them Oh, it's a sexual secret Yeah, it's a sexual organ secret Yeah I don't believe it. I don't believe it either.

It seems, you know. Nothing is ever that fun. Right. That would actually be like, I would enjoy that. Yeah. In many ways. Yeah, I like, I might like Obama more knowing. I 100% would.

Yeah. I mean, I would, I would campaign. I've said for a while the Democrats, I mean, they're running, you know, they're running Emperor Palpatine for, you know, for the past eight years. Joe Biden that they should I've been saying for years they should get

Michelle Obama and honestly if they if that was if that was the case I would campaign just because it's so aggressive yeah I mean look

it's not about like they can be whatever they want but I'm saying but it's just such a such a to keep it secret to so many it's so fun it is and it's also just funny to imagine how instantly like

if Michelle Obama came out as trans tomorrow. Well, are you, we're hinting around it. Now you're just, why do I bother hinting around it for 10 minutes? We're just going to blur it out.

I mean, I'm not sure why we were hinting. Wouldn't that be? Now we have five minutes to be going like, who? And if I prop. If I was nothing, and then we're like,

yeah, she was a trans woman. I would say, like if she announced that. Yeah. I feel like it would just immediately go it would go from like this is a conspiracy there's nothing to it to this is historic the first trans woman is running for president right I feel like they wouldn't they wouldn't skip a beat no it would be amazing yeah it would be like 9-11 yeah they were into the Iraq war right just like whoa and I and the Swifties are just like you know they're all just cheering on Akam and Chalabi yeah I feel like the Swiftie's like we've always we've always been here they're like the creatures from the shining you we've always we've always been we've always been the swifties but the other ones you like bomb pearl

harbor right or uh oppenheimer or whatever i don't know they made jim crow laws just a force for bad there are a Stephen king character in swifties yeah i feel like Taylor Swift is it is a Stephen king like character like she like you know like she's like she's like She's like a monkey's paw kind of story Where it's like You can't for what you wish for But like it's just But it's just what it is

Like oh you want to be you want to be the pop star Well here's what it is And like we just exist with the horror though I'm just like Welcome to New York And everyone's like this is pretty good It's supposed to be like a foreboding story But we're all just accepting it

You know I mean I don't Why don't you just get I mean she's like a robot like in a good way she's like the best robot i've ever seen if you told me she was like the first robot pop star i'd be like pretty great right but yeah oh like those hologram pop stars but but but she's real that's that's a real ass her real ass her real breasts a real skin and she views herself as a human being oh yeah that's not for me to get involved but i'm not gonna be the one tell i'm not gonna start

being like the whatever equal with the racist is to the to the non to the robot woman or maybe I will fuck you get in line you're a robot woman oh every human's got to get full rights before we give a robot any rights that's how I feel I don't I don't go in for artificial intelligence crap oh what if they become sentient and they come out they come out I'm already pissed off the swifties what do I care but hey I get at me yeah I can get in line behind the swifties what if she complimented your tweets like what if she came up to you and was like then she'd be a person and she was looking pretty fresh and she was just looking pretty fresh what's that mean like she's got a

dewy a dewy uh glisten she's got a dewy she looks pregnant her face uh she got she got a little pregnant she's about six months pregnant nice as she comes up to you and she says i read all your tweets uh-huh i love every time you know you you threaten your father i just i just giggle i giggle so hard you know what i say what i mean this cool can I have some money please it means nothing to you come on

like so I my interaction with so many famous people would just be cool can I have some money please give me give me give me give me um yeah no I'd be like good

subscribe to the Patreon please just have to hand me cash but like at least like oh you subscribe to the Patreon and she'd be like, no, I didn't know you have one. I mention it every episode. How often do you out? She said she likes my tweets, right? That's what you said.

Well, my profile has a Patreon link in there. I feel like she's a liar. I feel like she could just tell that I'm a guy who's having Twitter. You know? She would just say that. Like, she goes to some kind of like, I mean, because honestly, it's a good thing to say.

She goes through a high level women's self-defense thing where it's not like, oh, like, you know, try to hit the rapist in the face. But I'm not I'm a rapist. I'm saying, but he's trying to do this, right. Oh, always tell a fat man that you like his tweets. It diffuses this immediately.

Just in case, he's become a good guy, but just in case of not. Oh, apropos of nothing. I doubt that. There's a, I have, I've always had a really good idea for a self-defense course that I think is way more practical than regular self-defense. squorses. Sure, go ahead.

You tell me if you like this idea. This is me in the shark's nest or whatever it's called. Shark tank. Yeah. I'm Mark Cuban, yeah. Mr. Wonderful. Basically, it takes the form of, it happened, they happen at night. Are you pitching a tank?

And they happen in the woods. What are you pitching? Are you pitching like a, like a, some kind of like rape? And it caters to women who dress. in a certain way. So basically, like, you come dressed in whatever you would be wearing during a late night of party.

Like, you wear your heels. You know, you wear everything. So it's like, you're not dressed down for like a, for a workout class. Sure. And they just kind of send you, they just kind of unleash you into the woods and people like pop out at you,

kind of like a haunted hay ride. So you're pitching to me that we get women, young vulnerable women who want to be helped. And we basically, and we set up a service where they're like, it's kind of like there's assaulted sexually or otherwise until they learn to defend themselves. Well, look, it's not like none of these act,

none of these hayride people are going to, are going to, assault them. It's like that Tom Cruise movie with Emily Blunt where he just keeps, like, she keeps putting them in the situation until like, you know, the edge of tomorrow or whatever, where he just lives every day over and over until he finally can fight the robots.

Exactly. No, exactly. But that means they're getting sexually assaulted. Yeah. And, like, attacked. No, like, they're being put in, like, holds and stuff. Like, not, like, not sexual, not sexual. Do they know, but they know what's going to happen?

No, probably not, right? How are we going to, how are we going to indemnify ourselves if we, if we, if we make this business? Are we just, we just give them a huge binder to sign? Here's your, here's your release form. Yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. I feel like the, I mean, what kind of people, I mean, here's how we're going to lose money. We're either going to pay up the ass for really.

skilled, I don't know, Navy SEALs, Black Belt Jitsu's, whatever, you know, Delta Force, S-A-S, or we're going to get a bunch of yokels, a bunch of yahoos who are just going to hurt women by mistake, a best-case scenario. And we're getting sued. You really have a bad view of the... And I'm not sure that the Navy SEALs are definitely trained to not hurt people. So, I mean, I think they release, like, no use restraint, maybe. But, I mean, their best case, they're, like, killing people.

Yeah, I trust the Yokels more, to be honest. I don't. Well, I mean, it's just less capable of hurting people, maybe. But I don't know. This just seems like a real, a real lawsuit waiting to happen. I mean, I don't, like, I don't know what kind of man we're going to hire, and then multiple men, where it's like bring him to the brink of, of deliverance, basically. And, uh, and then pull back.

You know, bring him to the brink of, uh, like, like, you know, think Shosh. take redemption, but then pull it back a few feet. I mean, you teach them some moves before you send them out there. Like, you, you, you kind of mix up. It's like, it's like, it's like memory retention where it's like you have to like remember the combinations, but with different situations. But you're like, you're thinking like the Americans where you train, like the Russians train these spies, but you're, we're forgetting that like her instructor actually did

assault her. That's true. Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what a, Well, ours won't, and that's a guarantee. I don't, but that's my point. I don't know. It's either not true, or we're paying up the ass for these, the most skilled people in the world.

I'm telling you I'm telling you the Radio City Rockettes have less skilled than the people we'd have to hire to do that job We have to hire the Rock Cats maybe Honestly

The Rock Cats might be able to do that Because I don't think you could fight a Rockcat Their legs are so long They must have a just leverage on a woman like you Right You would get manhandled by a Rock Cat But a Rock Cat is not that likely To go the extra mile

If you know what I mean I'm not so worried I'm not so worried about a rocket I don't know why you think You're taking advantage I don't know why you think you need Navy sales To prevent your employees From from assault

I just I know I'm saying Rockettes Yeah The Rockets aren't Navy SEals They're dancers right That's what we need Sure Yeah Do you think it's odd

What if all of our What if all of our hayride Our self-defense hayride employees were you know they're all either other women or they're gay or something like that could be kind of a guarantee I don't look

well it's not about what I'm not I'm not implying that we're going to hire a bunch of people who want to like commit awful sexual assault right I'm saying the kind of people who are going to actually be able to like you know get someone to plausibly to that point but then like pull back at the last second

like I can like you're thinking about me i get barely i i drop coffee mugs all the time i'm like you know how am i going like you know the kind of precision you need for that job you need to like a roquette i think you're just being you're being like you should jump on this but women hate women all this all this 50 talk but you hate those rocket girls look i guess you don't want to give them the job you want to give a bunch of yokel men i guess the rackets make sense yeah they're just if they're exclusively going to be encountering leggy assailants

who use their legs to take them down. No, no. You don't even say you don't even say it in bodies. I just think that violent men usually use their arms more than their... You understand the power comes from the ass and the legs. The legs give you so much leverage. A rocket... I mean, not me,

but they could take you on so easily. I would just grab them by the legs and swing around if I had to. If they had, if they had, you know, sword shoes on with their long legs and they used them to try and stab me. I would never hurt a one. woman, but she was trying to stab me with a, you know, like a little heel that had a sword

on it on the head or something, some crazy weapon like that. Then if I had to, I'd pick up by the legs and start spinning around. Yeah. You know, I probably end up stab myself in the neck. But, you know, I did that. Now, whatever, so I think your idea is potential. Your idea has potential. You didn't kill me.

I killed, I killed me with you. Right. Yeah, yeah. Look, a lot of life is just contextualizing what happens to you. Right. I mean, that's just the fact. Now, back to, I mean, do you think it's weird at my, my benchmark for, you know, movies, sexual assault, it's short-shanked redemption, even though they play it like 12 times a day on TBS. Is that like a really big prison, like?

The Shawshake Redemption? Is it? Yeah, it's been a while since I saw it. Man. I mean, wait, prison or prison rape? Prison rape. Grape. There are people on YouTube say?

We're going to start saying that now. I haven't said sexual assault. I mean, yeah, he gets the guy from, isn't the guy from the redhead guy. He's always, you know, are you going to take what I give you? And he's like, I'll bite down hard, all that stuff. Right.

And they didn't do that that day, but then he could never walk again. He drank through a straw his whole life. All that stuff. Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I guess there is a lot of it. Yeah.

I mean, it's really, you know, like, that's where people get the idea from. That and Oz. Deliverance, too. Yeah, well, that's not a prison movie. But, yeah, I agree. Oh, right. Oh, right. Specifically prison stuff.

People get the idea about prison from that and Oz. American History X. Sure. You love that movie. I never. You always try to get us to watch that. I was like, oh. No, I'm not.

I do think that... I like how... Did you originally watch it? Because we talked recently about how you're a big... You were a big Boy Meets World fan. You know, a French Savage show. That's right. Did you originally watch American History X

because the dad from... Bermite's World is a racist in that movie? He's a racist. Firefighter dad is the guy from... That is him, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um...

I don't know. That is really funny, though. But I like, the aftermath of the, of the prison rape scene in American history, X is kind of funny because, like, the black teacher comes. Benjamin Sisko. Yeah, and visits him while he's still like, has to be on his stomach because he's been prison rape so bad. Stop saying it so much.

You don't have to keep saying the word over and over and over again. We're trying to grow the show, not shrink it. Sorry. And he just kind of sits down next to him and goes like, so? Did you learn your lesson? Yeah. He's very smug. Yeah.

He's a little bit smug about it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't feel like Jesus would do that. This is what, and it's also, it's like it's such a non-sequitur. It's like this is what racism leads to. I feel like if that part was played by a person, now, if they remade the movie, it'd be Taylor Swift. And she'd go, and she said, it's American history.

X. I don't understand. Like, I know, I assume it's ever kind of an allusion to Malcolm X. I never understood, like, they put it in the trailer that one shot where he's like, this is American history. X. What's that mean, though? Is X just my, I mean, I don't know.

I thought the whole thing of Malcolm X was that he, like, rejected him. his, like, you know, his slave name or whatever. So we took X. Was that the whole gimmick? Oh, gimmick, you know. Yeah. So how is that like? It's like the absence of his real name.

Right. Yeah. I don't think it works for a, like, a school topic, a school, like, subject, though. Yeah, what is the X standing for? Yeah. This is Matt X. I want to see Mad X. How great is that movie, good?

Organic chemistry X? Imagine that one. Who's getting who's getting, who's getting, who's getting graped in that one? Oh. But yeah, so, I mean, you refuse to say anything negative about Taylor Swift. You refuse to say anything negative about the Swifties. You're, so you're rooting for, are you rooting for the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl? The who?

Oh, I don't know. Who are they playing? I don't know, honestly. Who are they playing? Is it decided yet? I mean, honestly, you can't blame me because it very well might not be decided yet. Maybe just this week, Super Bowl.

Who's in Super Bowl? Because, like, in my casual news feeds, no one said playing Super Bowl. Let's see. Who do you think it might be? You think it's the Giants, the New York Giants? Um. Oh, they're playing the 49ers.

Oh. That's a blast in the past for you, Joe Montana. That's no, the classic episode, uh, of, um, of, um, of, of Kump is, is, uh, football granddaddy Supreme. Mm. Which is about Joe, you know, a big puner with about Joe Montana. Joe Montana is, is saving a baby or kidnapping a baby? Saving his grand is a woman's, this is an old episode of Kump before. Lucy, you know, his back out was in the other room, and I was, you know, like,

it was just, you know, a bad quality video, and I was just by myself, and it was about, a story was about, um, Joe Montana, who's old now, a woman sneaks into his, like, Malibu or something in the house, and just all started holding his baby, and he went in there, he ripped a baby out of her hand, and he subdued her, and he heard her, and, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just like, you know, and it was a good story. I mean, it's more to it. Go back in the archives. Listen to the old episodes.

They're good. They're weirder, but they were good. Football Grandaddy Supreme is a great show. It's me pitching a bunch of shows. It must be in the 90s or the 80s of episodes. It's all on YouTube. Football Grandaddy Supreme. Why I keep saying?

I love the name of it. That's why. It is a good name. Thank you. I'm sorry, you know. Maybe we need a name for this one Have a Swifty Boat Veterans of Truth It's too much

Now, what do you envision But what is the worst case What are they going to do to us, these Swifties? What do they do? I think you're thinking of the old Swifties Where they did like come at you I feel like they don't do much I feel like they just go into your comment section

And they go, you don't get it I'd love the engagement Don't say that though I'm telling them that Please don't oh no oh you swifties don't do any hey oh taylor swift's such a crow or crone does she have crones she has crones disease i've heard don't ask me where i found that out i'll never tell we get so much engagement there's never those oh i can't believe his fat turds talking about her turds my they call her mama bear what they call her let me suck along her honey they call her what's that mean oh taylor

sounds like it sounds like you're saying tart it's like it's like if you you should never call a woman T A anything before letters it looks like tart yeah what if I went if I pretend to be a Swifty

they went on the swiftly message boards and I was like Tart really knows how to make music doesn't she or do you think they would just fall like not even realized I was saying that it would take them a while to notice right I love Tart she's She makes the best music.

So good. Lemonade. It sucks. Because I'm a Swift fan. This is what we do. Yeah. We rebrand you. We rebrand you.

We browner and we re-brown me? We rebrand you as a gossip boy. Oh, God. All right. Like Perez Hilton or something? Yeah. And you just take shots at Taylor Swift until we get, until we get the Swifties in there. I mean, you know.

And then we turn it all around. Okay. Okay. Should we move on from the story? Do you want to just... There's no other story about... You've written down here. Zuck Apology for child abuse?

What happened? Yeah, so there was like a... There was a child safety hearing in Congress. And says there during a tense hearing that included executives from TikTok, X, Snap, and Discord. Mark Zuckerberg, the leader of... Meta. The leader.

Isn't his CEO? Why is the lead? He's just the leader? It's a realm now. It's a cult. Told the families of abuse victims. He was, quote, sorry for everything you all have been through. What was he even doing?

Is he? This is a picture of Zykerberg standing and all these women are holding up signs of their dead children, maybe? What happened? Wait, what happened? Is he like a mass murderer? Why is he a possible? If I was the, like, I think I own some stock in this company. Stop doing this.

I got, look, he's got to listen to my advice here. Don't ever apologize for, for children being abused if you're not the abuser. I know you, I know you're trying to take some credit, but this is awful optics. Um. Let's read something. After being, or. What's read the beginning of this? One of the stories.

Well, the good stuff started there, but okay. After a series of tense exchanges between senators and tech executives that clocked in at just under four hours, the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on online child safety came to an end on Wednesday with no clear resolutions in sight. The audience included several family members of victims who cheered as senators berated the executives and listened stoically as Mark Zuckerberg, the chief executive of Meta, addressed the crowd directly. I like Zuck It seems like there was other CEOs there Or other companies

Yeah After being pressured by Senator John Hawley Republican of Missouri To apologize for the harm caused by META Mr. Zuckerberg stood from his chair Turned around and addressed the families of victims In the audience who had suffered abuse on META's apps It stood from his chair

Or stood on his chair I'm sorry for everything you have all been through Mr. Zuckerberg said No one should go through the things that your families have suffered. He said that his company was working so that no one else would have to do so and did not address Meta's role. What is the role?

I meant exactly. Did he use his jiu-jitsu on children? What happened? Doesn't he look a big jiu-jitsu guy now? Yeah, I mean, I, it... We've said so in the past. What's going on with that fight that was supposed to happen? Oh, him in Musk, right?

Yeah. Was he training for the Musk fight and he just, like, beat up a bunch of kids? Two of the five chief executives agreed to support the kids' online safety act. Imagine if they didn't agree to that, whatever it is. I mean, you could say anything. Even Evan Spiegel, chief executive, two of the five, wait, so three of them didn't. Three of them didn't agree to support the kids online. Look, I know it's like these things are like, they kind of strong on you, and they call them that, they call it that for a reason.

But you better have a good comeback when they ask why you didn't support the kids online safety act. No, that's not, it's just a bad optic. Evan Spiegel, chief executive of Snap, which is like Snapchat, yeah, right? And Linda Yakorino, who leads X, both of, oh, wait, those two support it? The one who leads X? Both agree to support the kids' online safety act or COSA. Just leave, it's a terrible acronym. Are you COSA compliant?

The proposed law would require online services like social media networks, video game sites, and messaging. apps to take reasonable measures, quote, to prevent harm, including online bullying, how you can prevent online bullying? Right. You know how you prevent online bullying from becoming a problem? You get rid of the rats. Teach kids not to kill themselves. Including online bullying, harassment, sexual exploitation, anorexia, self-harm, and predatory

marketing to minors who use their platform. You expect Mark Zuckerberg to stop anorexia? You think he can stop anorexia? look at him I mean Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn't stop it onorexia I'm also kind of curious what it counts is predatory marketing

because like we've kind of let the you know clone the doors off of like marketing the kids like you're not allowed to do it now yeah all of a sudden that was like uh the miners used of Mr. Chu's the chief did not oh Mr. Zuckerberg

oh Mr. Zuckerberg Mr. Chew and Jason Citrone the chief executive of Citrone No, Chief Secretary of Discord. Oh, Discord did not pledge their support with some arguing that it was... We make a lot of money off of child abuse. Yeah, yeah, well, bullying is actually great for engagement. Because when you're the bully, you really go to that site a lot and you use it.

And then there's something about the testosterone or the adrenaline from bullying someone who is a suicide. that makes you very susceptible to advertisements. It's very lucrative. The miners use the platform. With some arguing that it was directionally helpful but contained some overly broad restrict. Of course it does. Of course.

You have to, look, this is chess. It ain't checkers. You got to play the long game with this shit. You have to stop this shit. You have to pay off senators to cut this shit off at the pass. You can't let it get to the point where COSA is a thing floating around

Congress you know of course it got overly broad language because who the fuck is going to say no the online children's safety thing I guess they did I guess I'm wrong I guess I'm mr. smith going to Washington mr. comp claimed Washington and realize that they just fucking let kids die uh TikTok faces heat for its ties to China again lawmakers repeatedly passed press mr chew about TikTok's ties to is Taylor Swift's Big in China. Sorry to interrupt you. Probably.

Yeah. Why is the only question her? Her ties to China. You know, they don't like in China? Beyonce. I bet you that. I bet you they don't. Why not?

I'm not going to say why. You know why. Lawmakers repeatedly press Mr. Chew about TikTok's ties to the Chinese government. Thanks to its Chinese ownership. by ByteDance. They have the worst names. Why is there no...

These companies never have one person who speaks like native English like to just vet their names. Bite Dance. It sounds like a robot that's... It's like a seven-generation Pokemon. Mr. Chu, who is born in Singapore and still lives there with his three children,

was asked whether he had a Chinese passport or had ever applied for Chinese citizenship. He had not. that we lived in Beijing for five years. He seems like something you could look up beforehand, before the hearing. Find out if he had a Chinese passport. I don't want to look an idiot by asking him. I guess that's the point, right?

He's the slander him. Hey, do you have a Chinese passport? No, I don't. Hmm. But I did ask you, right? I guess I'm supposed to make him look bad. I wouldn't ask Taylor Swift, does she have a Chinese passport?

Because I'm racist. No of them. You were Chinese Spansworth? No, I'm from Singapore. Right. But you lived in China. Yeah, I did. Now, I mean, he's this guy.

I know the Chinese spy, though. I'm not taking sides to her because I'm a coward. Yeah. I mean, what do you think? Do you think the government should be restricting how kids use these apps? I am all for bullying. I think much like your thing I think kids should be bullied until like

then the ones who live are stronger much like your idea sure I was that my idea of just attacking women until they get like a fight back like it's some kill bill like it's kill bill part one right I do like that comparison sure I don't like to think of it as just attacking women

until like until a woman poisons you with poison fish heads you're like you're gonna be like the person who breaks like you're in a trimmons show you're ed harris you're gonna have like a headset on all right she's she doesn't she's on the she's on the fire escape go get her and she's got like break through like the window oh so you've been in charge this whole time miss lucy don't listen to him swifties i love women to sit it YouTube didn't even show up. YouTube's like,

get lost. We'll do whatever we want the kids. YouTube they'll give us. YouTube will like, like, demonetize us

because we said like, you know, uh, we said something but me and Taylor Swift, but it'll just be like, those not show up to be like a kid's safety thing.

Okay, they don't care. Oh, you, you, you, you, you're,

you're out of here. Anyway, let's, This one makes a fucking video montage about, like, all the kids, they bullied into suicide. It's fine. Durbin. Dick Durbin still alive? Senator Dick Durbin, close.

What? Senator Dick. He does it on purpose, right? He could be Richard Durbin. He goes by Dick Durbin, though. Yeah. Because that's got to be a thing, right? That's not like, I mean.

It does, I mean, honestly, it does have a little bit more of a powerful ring to it. I'm saying, look, this guy's old, but he's not that old. He seems like he's in the 60s. He was around for, like, you know, the Boogie Knight's era, you know, the John Holmes era. Right. He probably, like, this guy might have been a porn star back in the day. Dick Durbin. Hey, my going.

Got look into that. Deep dive. Deep dive on Dick Durbin. Give deep Dick Durbin, deep Durbin. Senator Dick Durbin close the hearing by emphasizing the bipartisan support for their legislation. Every single senator voted unanimously in favor of the five pieces of legislation we discussed today. Five pieces, Jesus. Adding that that should send a stark message.

Is he saying like each one of these pieces of legislation is a finger? And when I roll these fingers up as a fist, I had a child with. The five points of fingers, and when I roll that fingers, they're a fist. That's my impression of Danny Lewis. The five points of a fist. fingers. And when I roll up those fingers, I make a fist. I think every episode should end with me doing a new impression.

The five points of five fingers, when I roll them up, they make a fist. I'm going to punch Tammany with the fist. I'm going to build a butcher. Do you have anything you want to say to the Swifties? I'm not afraid of you. You need a hot or cold, so I'm not. spit you out of my mouth because you're lukewarm. Taylor Swift.

You think Taylor, there's a story about when he was getting ready to play, when he was like playing Bill the Butcher in his trailer, between, like, scenes, or takes or whatever, he'd be in his trailer listening to Eminem. You think if they made that movie now, gangs in New York, he would be listening to Taylor Swift. Welcome to New York. I wake up and go to the Eminem store.

Welcome to New York. Welcome to New York. Gangs of New York It all connects Anything you want to say to this 50s? I said it I said I'm not afraid of you Yeah

Well I'm not gonna I'm the one who's actually standing up to them But yeah sure You're into my protection Lucy's into my protection now You can't get there I'm the tender I'm the velvet glove

That goes over the iron fist Yeah that's good Well put Well put so thanks for tuning in to the show hope you enjoyed remember you know like and subscribe on YouTube and Spotify and iTunes if you can if you take some time out of your day we'd appreciate that

because they really put some bread in our child's mouth and if you like the show and why wouldn't you're because it's so good I like it I think it's a good show and if you like it and you want more show Patreon.com slash Ray Kump extra episodes is what you get every week for five bucks a month that's four episodes maybe five some months depending on the weeks roll by it's a good deal in my opinion i i'm gonna say that anyway so you can

check if you like that you can check that out uh if not then we'll see you next week have a great week Thank you.