Kump - Ep. 163 Rap For Sale

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Ray and Lucie discuss a precedent setting trial in Michigan, David Baldacci’s strange novel, and Ray’s rap aspirations.  Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to comp. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. can't divorce me now it's just like a judge would laugh you out of court it's true they wouldn't allow me to leave the marriage why not because i've bought you an impeccable gift um a gift um not just a gift but like a way of life that a judge would just say like if you try to divorce me he'd say go to the hell that's how the court system works he would say hey lady go to the hell how about that

and I have to agree with them because I got you not just I got you eight forks eight spoons eight dinner spoons four teaspoons eight knives that's what really seals at the two different kinds of spoons

yeah I'm not a clown I'm not a joke I'm a man and those are big spoons those are like you know you can you can you can stir a nice bechamel with those with those bigger spoons.

Yeah? Yeah. What's a bechamel? Is that the, is that like two women talking the movie? The bestremele test. Yeah. It's like the white French sauce.

The white French sauce? Yeah. I thought there was something else. So what was, you know, I got, it doesn't matter. I got you utensils. Look at that.

Look at that lovely bechamel sauce. What is it? What you put it on? Nice and thick. It's one of the, the French mother sauces. Look, these, these, they wonder why Hitler was able to be like, just like, just, no, just roll the tank, just roll the tanks over.

It's fine. No, just, yeah. Now we own it. Now we own France. See? See how we say it was? Listen to me when I talk. Have they called their, that was how France got invaded by Hitler.

Just roll. No, the tanks, the tanks are on our side, put it on their side. Now we own it. Have they called? Because they're stupid is he making mother sauces. If they called their dressings father sauces, they wouldn't be conquered so easily. Well, that's what the German. The Germans are the only ones, I mean, like, to their credit.

And there's a lot of things against them or me. I mean, I'm technically, I realize later in life now is that I'm not actually even German. Like, I've always been like, well, I was go Che, but like, and that's kind of German. And they speak German, but I'm actually Slovenian, apparently. At least that's where am I, you know, that's where I would be if I, if my family had stayed in Europe. that's where they were but it's now Slovenia is my point where Luca Donchick is from

so Goche is Slovenian well I mean does Slovenia have a language or they speak German because they speak you know my Goce speaks German I think I don't know I don't care I mean

what am I going to do Is I married Miss Gochay No I married you alright so I don't care I can give a damn back Goce you're all probably just rats I'm sick of I'm sick of trying to like

bring some light to these people honestly that would be good if you want to if you want to really rise your star I don't know why I phrased my star If you really want to lift your star up Yeah You should really create a missed gochay

Beauty contest You're right I'll raise something else you know what I mean You know how? Not using any gocha women We've covered before the gocha The Miss Gochays were not exactly you know No that's what you have to use Gochay

That would be the appeal of it. All the women would just look like you. No, no, we have to get rap, rap girls from rap videos. And, you know, with the booties. And it's Miss Gochet, 2024. Now, speaking of rap, see, before I even get into this,

I feel like we're doing this wrong. We're doing it right, but doing it wrong to make money. Because on the Patreon episode, it should be the other way around. I teased that I wrote the greatest rap couples of all time. and now I'm going to reveal it on the show. Which should be like, hey, we have his money platform where you can pay for.

That's where you should reveal stuff. But I'm not some grifter. That's how you know that Patreon's good. All right. So I, yeah, I'll get to that in a second. But yeah, just, you know, speaking of that, we have a Patreon. It's a Patreon. It's not called patreon.com.

It is Patreon.com. you get an extra episode every week for five bucks a month nice deal says me perhaps so speaking of patreon can you can you can you when you're silent like that it sounds like i'm selling a bill of goods it sounds like i'm selling a leaky apartment just say say yeah i like it too i love the patreon good episodes great um there's no sorry i was trying to There's no rats on the Patreon. Why would there be? I was just trying to let you deliver a clean monologue about it.

I didn't want to clip it and put it on to Rachel Maddow show with a commercial. Like I'm selling my online gold bank. Digitalgold.com. Right comes guarantee. You're guaranteed to make money. I should sell things, faulty things, inventions. I should, you know, I just didn't use to steal inventions all the time from people. Patins steal them.

I should do that. That should be my whole thing. He's like making, I'm going to do like Alex Friedman. And don't say Friedman. I was watching him today to, you know, moderate the debate between Menchapiro and Destiny. Destiny, and you think, oh, Benchapiro is debating a stripper?

No, apparently this learned man is just some guy who played the game Destiny, I guess, and that's his name? Why is his name Destiny? Did he play Destiny? Well, that's his hand. But like, what game did he play as a streamer? I don't know. Was he playing death?

Is there a game called Destiny? A very big one. I don't know what it is. I didn't play. I mean, I play certain games. I've been playing the Robocop game, which is awesome.

Why did no one tell me there's a Robocop game? I love Robocop. Haven't I established that enough. It's a great game. You keep telling me, I don't even know. I don't know the half of how good this game is. So great. I mean, you can watch me,

but you decide not to. You know, they're all itching. I've been streamed on Twitch and forever. You could watch me play Robocop. You choose not to. That's your choice. Because I'm just sitting there like a machine, whatever, whose family was murdered.

It turned me into a robot. So I wrote, but the reason, you know, and I think maybe we'll make some merch out of this rap couple. Right? Maybe a hoodie. Maybe a shirt. Then you a hat, maybe. Yeah.

We haven't made any merch in a while. I think this couplet, the contents of this rap couplet, yeah, would make, you know, yeah, it would make a good shirt. It would be intriguing to look at. Okay, should I get, is that enough teasing? Is that enough sensational teasing? Yeah, let's go back.

Let's get back to it. No, what is the rap couple? What is the rap couplet? Yo, can I get a beat? I don't know if it's a good beer or not. Well, you were getting sex, Ed. I was, no, get rid of the beat. The beat's no good.

I can't do it with the beat. I can't really do beats. Yeah. That's not good. It ruins it. No, no, no. Stop. No beat.

You say out of it this time. Because honestly, it was good. I just realized before we reveal it, well, you were getting sex. It sounded like I'm like, I don't know what I sound like crazy, crazy lose, stereo fucking salesman. Well, you were, one more time. Well, you were getting.

sex ed I was getting sex head I didn't say it was a song it's a couplet but I know my plan was to sell that through a rapper yeah you you were I said we should talk we should reveal the rap couplet on the show and you were like and you were very confidently like no I really want to sell it yeah I did I thought like it's a good enough line that like a guy would be like

it was a rapper already would be like yeah it's not a bad I'll give you 10 grand for it. 10 grand? Yeah, 10 grand. What is he going to give me? I'm not going to give it away for 500 bucks. You think you're going to get 10 grand for, for, I mean, he's going to make a million.

Make a million of that, of that. That's the kind of line. It's like, you know what that song was like, da-na-nam-na-na-a-a-g? You know that song? You don't, though, you know, but you do know it. You know why? Smoke weed every day.

that's like that if without that it's it's a good beat i love the beat you know i don't know the words but it's a great song but still what the people quote that smoke weed every right yeah this could be your smokeweed every day that's my smoke weed every day you don't think that they play that song to this day you don't think that's worth 10 grand that line if someone's like you know how much you know we got we got we got pay a fat ray for that song for that that line that couple it how much do you want for it 10 grand cut it i'm not paying them 10 grand for that really what tragedy that would be i mean you're not

even a rat person you know that i'm barely a rap person i know that they paid 10 grand to buy smoke weed every day i'm saying if it came down to it they should have if that was if it was a question they would have or if they were smart i don't know i mean they might have wrote that the themselves but you know there's plenty of DJs out there you know who make beats on the side sell them you don't think nods would buy a beat off a guy he buys beats all the time we think not to sit there with like an mpc like how you know programming beats trying to do free loops no he might try to what conier does because of what conier came from Kanye was making beats for j on the blueprint well you were making the blueprint I was the

eating cool mint she's not as good but I can make a whole song out of that but you were getting sex ed I was eating sex ed I was eating sex ed I was getting this is why I want to sell it

I can't perform it like consistently in concert yes you don't like first of all convinced me to say on the show. I thought it was when you were in sex ed. I was getting sex ed. Well, you were taking sex ed.

I was getting sex ed. Yeah. No, I just screwed it up. Like I eat. This is my point. This is what I wanted to sell to our actual rapper. And you convinced me not to. And now you look, you better sell this on the show.

You better, like, in wrestling, even though I hate wrestling, you better in wrestling cadence, put me over here or put this line over. Because you convince me to throw 10 grand away. Well, I do think it evokes a great. image, you know. It's like a guy who skipped sex ed to get some sex head. That's a really cool guy. He skipped it. I guess it's implied that he skipped it. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine him sort of like on the Aquatic trail right by the school getting sex ed. It doesn't sound as cool. It sounds like a slimy teacher. All right. So you took it very literally. All right. My idea was this guy was

just a guy. I mean, he might just be older. It might be something you say, Like, you know, while you yonans were chomping at the bit, I was eating tit. You know, something like that. Yeah. But, like, you're, you're taking literally like, hey, hey, guy, like a bunch of pimpled kids, you know, high school. And like, hey, well, you were in sex ed class, I was in the head. Like, one greasy teacher. This doesn't seem fun.

You've turned into a molestation story. Yeah. not as sexy you know sure it's more about just like hey I've been in the game longer but you turn it into

I guess where I was boys much we should have sold it to a rapper who would have known how to how to build context for this so we might make so honestly that that context might appeal get your sex head t-shirts oh these coming next week that context might appeal to a really

specific rapper That's not how we're appealing to I don't want that You could sell it to Like a guy A file rapper No no But like a guy who talks about

Those issues Like like you know Maybe maybe there's a guy Out there A little traumatized Who is like this is perfect It really paints the kind of images Get your little traumatized

Hodies Also coming next week We're gonna have Well mockups designed A little traumatized Yeah No this is great This is way better

than 10 grand we'll probably sell four hoodies well look we can sell we can still we're still open to selling the rights to this you can't just sell the rights once it's been a style you know it's out there now

I have I have not protected my protected my trademark as it were yeah well maybe that's your response well maybe some people will steal it and write songs about it and they'll get big

and then we'll be kind of part or you will be kind of part of the legend behind I'm always part of the legend I want to I want some vital sizing I'm on a house I don't own I want at least on the above ground pool somewhere well you know yeah there's something a fishing pole

I'll go fishing sometime where can I fish in New York City I can't afford to get to the country I'm sure they'll let you fish in the Hudson Hudson or the East River I think there's some fish in the East River now Sure I put it in there

Oh God Welcome to the show This is so Demoralizing So the grading I'm sorry that But look This is this is

This is your Sandbox This is where all your great ideas belong This is You're just here Like you're what does this remind me of like the end of the shining

you're like you're like the guy in the bathroom in the shining I've always been the character tape it's fine no no you want to write a book no kill your family what you're talking about write a book what are you going to write

do you pray love Jack is that we're going to write this is you in the shining what's your book We're going to my field of dreams. She's got to walk. She's going to take the axe. Well, you make beth over here.

Could have been a rapper. Now, I have here a tab on my thing. It says, did we cover this already? Exotic pita bread? No, I don't think we did. You sure? I'm pretty sure we didn't. Okay.

Do you stand by this? I don't know what there is to stand by. It's just a fact. You think Peterbread's exotic. No, no, no. I never said it was exotic. Well, all right. You look, let's just get to the bottom.

So I was ordering off Target. I was, I was lamenting to you. You know, you bought some hummus. And I thought I'd be nice and get some pita bread. Yeah, that was nice. You ran out, we gave, you know, it was to none of the peanut bread. And I said, you know, I can't get, Target doesn't have any peter bread. and you said well that makes sense

it's a little exotic for Target when do you think Peter Brewer is invented I just think it's a little specific for Target What do you think Target has Like is you think Target's a bodega They got some cereal they got some bread

They got every cereal probably What cereal do you think they wouldn't have a target Name is cereal they wouldn't have a target I don't think that they would have The weird keto cereals I bet they would maybe but i don't think what's the weird key to me magic spoon magic spoon they have it there maybe not they have them you can order with the website all right fair enough who has key but no one

has magic spoon like one story i mean can you even get eggs a target yes of course you can get eggs what do you at once in the same you were the target in like 1999 i'm now i have to be like the guy defending target they have like rows and rows everything we all All our food comes from Target. What are you talking about? They farm the food at Target. We get all these, the Amy's frozen, the tortellini's, whatever you go buy for you.

It's all the Target. What do you think? I'm going to, I'm ordering on farmers market.com. Otherwise, it's a topic. Why are we discussing this? I don't know. But I, look, yeah, I still think peanut bread. I still think if Peter Bread is a little exotic.

And I remember when it was even more exotic. I don't, I, I remember when peanut bread and hummus was like kind of an exotic. When hummus, I remember when hummus came out and you only, you can only get it with pretzel, like little pretzel circles. They look like, they look like vaginas made a pretzel. You could dip them in, Sabra make them. Sabra, who I don't want to get sued, but, you know, as a rapper, if I was a rapper, I'd make a, I would just say, I'll say this way. If I was a rapper, I'd rap about Sabra hummus making me gassy. But I'm not a rapper.

So I guess I'll just leave that, leave that bee. right because i don't want to get shot in the face now i just wanted to cover that topic it's been on my stream deck for months but you one day i don't remember when that happened but you said he said peter was exotic and driving me crazy anyway moving on

um you this this must scare you what this mother going to jail because that can be you vis-a-vis me. Are you, wait, what do you mean?

Well, you got my mother, but so, right, so the mother has been, uh, you think one day if you, if you do something, I would never do that,

but I know you wouldn't, but you think that one day if you did something truly morally despicable. Yeah. They would hold me responsible because I didn't see the warning signs. They might.

What would be the warning signs? I mean, constantly talking about fusing their gun to my hand. That's a good point. actually oh man that would look so bad in court it was especially the amount we talked about it in public oh my god yeah if you actually did that right and did something horrible with it yeah the oh my god i would get no sympathy imagine if i like the amount of times you just talked and you just monologued about it and i've just sit here cackling it would just oh it'd be all so

incriminating but all i did was like put some like you know like industrial glue on my hand and like put it on the gun it's not really a good it's not really a gun it's not really a gun man but i mean like you're used to be like well that's not what he meant yeah he didn't mean he's going to glue his hand to a gun oh god he meant more like he was going to melt a gun to his bones somehow this is this is paltry compared to what he wanted to do right he wanted you ever see final fantasy seven or megaman think megaman but more more gross gross megaman scroll up a little. If he had shown that to me,

if he had shown what it really is to me, I would have said not worth it. Yeah. Don't do it. You can glue your hands. Just glue it? No. Melt the gun onto a bone.

Your wrist. Jury finds Jennifer Crumbbell. Oh, God. Here's what his headline should read. And it's going to seem insensitive when they read you what it actually says. It should read, Jennifer, jury finds Jennifer Crumbly guilty of having

the worst last name. in history. Crumbly is a terrible last name. But it actually says jury finds Jennifer Crumbly, the Michigan school shooter's mother, guilty of manslaughter. I wonder if, honestly, her name being crumbly

may have contributed to her conviction. I think that's, if I was her lawyer, that's my whole appeals case. Her name is what, this wouldn't happen if her name was Jones. The name was Jennifer and Maria. Nope.

Crumbly. Crumbly. It's so weak. It's weak. Yeah, you picture like a coffee cake, but also like a kid's head crumbling. Yeah.

It's bad on a lot of levels. Mm. You just picture all those kids crumbling. You know, you picture the metaphorical defense of our schools crumbling. Jury finds Jennifer crumbly. Crumbly. What kind of name is?

I mean, even if you just take the meaning out of crumbly, just think of it. Just the way it sounds. Crumbly. If your name is crumbly, change it. Yeah. There's no way anyone can treat you as a serious or trustworthy person.

If your name was pumbly, change it. Yeah. Some blie. Like, Blee. Blee is horrible. Yeah. I mean, my name's Kump. And so I understand.

But at least it sounds kind of like, Kump. Crumbly. Ble. It's not, I mean, just thinking about, if I walked around, if I was a big man, big strong man, right? Walking around the streets of crime.

And I just kept going, Blee, blee, I would be attacked immediately. No one would tolerate that. If I was ahead of a gang, I would be, you know, what's the word? Macbeth or Hamlet it or, what happens to you kill your gang leader? That, I would be fracked. I'd be fracked. I'd be usurped immediately. Who's a famous usurp?

Julie Caesar? Yeah, they were bruticized me. Is that what brutal comes from? Yeah, I think so. Wow, I didn't realize. I just realized that. I'm a war detective. So jury finds

Jennifer Crumbly, the woman with the worst name in history, and the mother of the Michigan school shooter, guilty of manslaughter. Let's read a little about this. I got to know. This seems like legally questionable. A Michigan jury convicted a school shooter's mother

of involuntary manslaughter Tuesday and the killings of four students in 2021. If it's involuntary, how we, you shouldn't be able to be accused of involuntary. I mean, well, here's the thing. Our legal, and I'm, I, I am, the legal system in our country

is too pompous. I'm gonna go out on the limb. It's just too pompous. Because they want to be eloquent all the time. There are a bunch of people who can't speak Latin usually, throwing Latin words around. Like they're like, like the Latin rappers, right?

And it's just, it's just idiotic. It should be unintentional manslaughter, right? She didn't intend to do it. Involuntary makes it seem like she, like, couldn't stop herself. But isn't all manslaughter unintentional? Fair point. It shouldn't even be a crime. Involuntary manslaughter, what does that mean?

involuntary if you look clumsy enough while you're killing someone you just get we'll just let you go yeah I mean I guess murder well more no murder murder murder implies premeditation right it's not not not not um what's the thing was not unintended but you can intend to kill or do you can tend to do the thing to kill somebody murder implies that you planned it right isn't that just premeditated murder though no murder implies premeditation but even but if you if you walk in on your wife uh sleeping with another guy and you do the whole bang bang thing that's like well that's that's why they often murder right it depends i mean if you look that's the thing if a lot of times you can get you try to get manslaughter because i mean like you can argue that

a in those cases often you would argue well i didn't know until the mom moment happened right if you're making that case i didn't come with the gun i just had the gun um you would try to establish i didn't you know i saw it happen like that's the whole thing it was a temporary insanity right like you know or crime of passion right yeah you don't do crime of passion just say then i murder there no the whole point is that you're trying to get manslaughter or something right or you know or um or community service look i killed that guy for humping you know give me give my wife to dirty humps but you know i'll clean i'll clean the gym the local gym you know the kid the rec center and if any of those kids have sex with my wife and i'll shoot

them too stop having sex with my wife but i'm i'm right i actually am writing a screenplay about a bunch of not kids like young adults because it's just you know kids would make it weird yeah young adults who keep having sex with this guy's wife because it's the only way to get their rec center clean Like, this is just, what? Oh, sorry. Go ahead. What? I was just going to keep reading that.

Yeah, go ahead and read it. I interrupted my rec center movie. My movie about a rec center, star Matt Dillon. It sounds great. Over the edge. Prosecutors say Jennifer Crumbly had a duty under state law to prevent her son, who was 15 at the time, from harming others. She was accused of failing to secure a gun and ammunition. at home and failing to get help to support Ethan Crumbly's mental health.

Ethan Crumbly. I mean, the kids name is owning a gun illegal or isn't it? How is the kid supposed to have mental health when his name is Ethan Crumbly? You got some crumbles in your pants, Ethan Crumbly, Ethan Crumbley. You made some Ethan Crumbles in your pants. I mean, this is every day they're saying this. One of those, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, when he's in the bathroom, he's in a toilet. Kids are going over the stall, going, Ethan, you're making Ethan Crumbley.

It's not that clever, but, I mean, this is high school. He's not going to high school with Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinnison. They're just kids. Ethan Crumbly is not supposed to exist. No. Even Crumbly is supposed to be like a character in a kid's book of a kid who just gets shit on all the time. Yeah, he's like the guy who like, you know, he's pig pen. Mm-hmm.

You know, if this is a Charles Schultz character, he would just be called shit for mouth. Right? And he would just go around, just like, you know, and just like, you know, the smell waft. Every drawer that would be, you know, ah. Yeah. And Perp and Patty would be like, oh, my God. There would be a book called Ethan Crumbly's Crummy Connipion. Yes.

Like. What's the connoissement? What's a coneption? Yeah, basically. Well, I mean, are you for, are you calling the school shooting a coneption? It seems a little dismissive, but I mean, it's fair. I think it works. He had a connipion.

Oh, what, you like, he's like a tantrum? Sort of. He's shot up at school. Interesting choice of words. Maybe we should write Ethan Crumbly's crummy connoption to keep this from happening again. I mean, I don't want to put a lot of work into a book and have like the son of Sam law, like somehow screw me down my profits. You're not allowed to profit off crimes, right? Oh, yeah.

I mean, I don't want this, like, and usually it's only, like, the guy who, like, is in jail. But with our luck, we're going to be the first people to get, you know, get screwed over, like, by proxy. Well, you can't make money off of crimes? How does anyone in true crime make money make money? That's a good point. The criminal can't make money off his crime. Oh, okay. That's a son of San Law, basically.

But I have a feeling that, like, you know, the way the courts are going and just who we are and who you've married. Like, the judge is going to decide, you know, we're the first son of San by proxy. so like the eating crumbly profits we'll have to because he's he's why it won't work i'll tell you why we'd have to pay him likeness rights so we otherwise don't want to publish it and we can't do that because he's so samuel it actually might not yeah it might not work and without a name we're going to call it shit for mouth i just remember reading do you remember a kid's book called Alexander's No Good, Very Bad Day? Yes.

Of course. It was the first thing I thought of. That book actually... Horrible. Terrible. See the terrible day. Something. He's got the orange shoes.

Yeah. Yeah, right? Where my orange shoes? I used to have these orange shoes like that. They were from Stridewright. Look up. Do me a favor. Look up cool orange stride right sneakers.

Oh, I wish I had these fucking sneakers. They were kids sneakers. They were kind of like that. They weren't exactly that, but this orange color, yeah. Yeah, these are cool. It was something like that. I used to have,

yeah, get his own screen. We don't need this. But that's the idea. I used to love shoes like that. They didn't be happy. What happened to my life? But I just remember that book really helped me understand

that sometimes you have a bad day. Yeah, well, that came up kind of a cock, though. Maybe he didn't do anything about it. His brother just got all the best. stuff no he was right yeah and you know what he did he took it he just he went but you know it's like you know it's kind of like no one gives it to you you got to take it you who said that

jack nicholson departed even grumbling he's grumbling non-servion i know is that actually james joyce what does that mean non-s i mean i guess it means don't serve i rather servings haven't than serving hell I'd rather rule in hell than serving heaven yeah that reminds me we're watching jeopardy and this woman's like she said she was like a service technician a restaurant or something

what she called herself a service professional a restaurant service professional call yourself a fucking waitress what you doing it's more endearing to call yourself a waitress yeah yeah everyone likes a flow hey flow hey flow bring me some pie will you thanks sweetheart No one says, but if you're like, oh, actually I'm a service professional.

Well, first, I didn't even call you a waitress. So why are you even correcting me? And now I'm not even going to treat you like a person. Chop tart. And that picture, look, I'm not saying this is the right behavior. Well, I'm better to describe. But whatever, this is what it is. This is the world you create when you say things like this.

This guy happens to be a mafia guy. And he starts shooting the gun at the floor around there. Why? Why don't you dance? service professional. It's wrong, but it never would happen if you just didn't say that. I'm just saying. I'm not saying she deserved it. I think she didn't get shot. I mean, scary. A bull could ricochet. Why don't you serve me those feet? You serve you. Ah, your feet stink.

with the with the with the severed foot of a waitress going like can I get this out of a mood. Calling yourself a restaurant service professional and not a waitress is a real crumbly move. What happened at school? It got crumbly. I mean, honestly, the kids probably used that all the time. I mean, until this kid shot that did that thing at that school. it was like it was kind of like just think about the the lamest guy you ever met

and then he does that it's like ooh you don't respect it yeah it's not commendable I'm just saying it's kind of like wow it's bold you can't say it's not bold I don't know what to say

I mean is that too positive bold is not an endorsement no you can be bad and Nazis were bold right you can't say Hitler wasn't bold right it's not a good thing I feel like you're doing the thing

you think you're being so careful here but you're doing the thing that reliably gets people's careers ruin we have to have a career that's true that's true That's true

Prosecute Oh, okay Uh Imagine Imagine like to play in the clip Or whenever You can't say he wasn't bold Before

Stand by I just never apologize for that And be fine It's playing next club I've never apologizing It's worse Fat man refuses to apologize The four guilty verdicts, one for each student's slain at Oxford High School, were returning.

But the students that got killed also got charged? No, no, no. It was she got charged for each student who died. Oh, I thought it was her and the students who didn't stop them either. I thought it was charging the students for not, like, recognizing the ones you got killed. And we're charging them in absentia, obviously, for not recognizing the signs either. our new solution. If somebody shoots up the school, everybody goes to jail. Shut down.

We turned the school into a prison for everyone who went to the, and worked at the school. And the bodies? And for everyone who knew the shooter. And they just put the bodies in the court, in the yard. Yeah, we dress the bodies up and jumpsuits. Just leave them in the prison yard until they rot. Yeah. Wow.

What's the best, you know what that is? What? It's bold. It's bold. Jennifer crumbly, 45. 45, wow, that's young. It's a young mom. Look down and shook her head slightly.

I'm sorry, it's horrible, but just look down and shook her head. I can't believe this. I can't fucking believe this. There's that, there's, there's, there's that, you know, just crumbly abdication for you. As each juror was pulled after the verdicts were read. I can't fucking believe this. On our way out of the courtroom, prosecutor Karen McDonald's.

That's also a funny name for sure reason. Karen McDonald's. Karen McDonald's. That's a strong name right there. No, look, I mean, that's the name of starts a fast food empire. Yeah. Prosecutor Karen McDonald,

hugged relatives of victims, Justin Schilling and Madison Baldwin. Shilling's on Craving. Shilling and Madison, Madison was spelled with a Y. M-A-D I S-Y-S-Y-S a lot of weird This feels like an AI article Nothing that this article feels real

Thank you a man whispered to her What how do you know? If you whispered it, how do you know? Yeah, what's going on? This article seems like it was made by a like a not But like AI's not this good yet This article seems like it was written by like a bad Like a, like a, look

Like a who's like a schlock writer? Um, oh, uh, Bella, Bella, who's that one we were reading? Baldachi? David, I feel like the government was like, let's just have AI write articles and it's not working out.

Plan B, we get Baldacci. That's why it's called plan B. We get Baldacci. David Baldacci. He's going to write articles about school shootings for us. The AP. What's this for?

I don't know. Look, this is the kind of thing where the Illuminati just has like a budget every year and they have to spend it or else it, like, you know, the budget gets reduced to the year after the next year. So they got to spend it so that, you know,

they don't get a small budget next year. Maybe we'll get, how it's coming out now, but these things, you know, like, you know how things go. They get funded, but it takes a few, a month to get out there. So this is like the end of the year. It's like, we got a little bit of a surplus. We got to spend it.

How about we get Baldacci to write some articles, some fake articles? What's that going to do? I don't. Confuse people. Come on. Baldachi is there. I assume he's in the Writers' Guild,

but Baldacci has always been their biggest scab. Yeah. He'll come in when everybody's on strike. And just write a bunch of articles for the next three years. He wrote the Seinfeld out finale. Everyone hates. We all go to jail. This is David Baldacci.

What is he famous for? David Weldachi. Can you Wikipedia that guy? I think we brought him up. Last year, I got picked up at the airport or something, right? A Baldacci book. David Baldacci What a dumb name

Dave O'Dachi is an American Yeah An attorney Oh he's legal stuff But it's like bad Grisham Manley writes Spence novels and legal thrillers He's 63 TV shows

Nine oh Sorry What do you do I'm sorry I wanted to look up his most famous book TV We'll just click on Wikipedia Wait actually this is really weird TV shows 9-11 science and conspiracy

I can't believe you just said that I was you're shaking the computer around. I was trying to say that. And then you beat me to the bunch. You baldachied me. You crumbled me. Have you ever seen 9-11 science and conspiracy? No, I haven't. Click on it. Make it's full screen. Experiments with heated steel and thermite illuminate questions about September 11th attacks. This is obviously like, why would he be writing this? He's obviously. see a shill for the Illuminati.

I mean, when they have a budget surplus, they call them. This is what happened. It was crazy. David Baldacci's most famous book. Memory Man. Stupid. Absolute power. Memory Man is a crazy.

What is here? Look up memory man. What is memory man about? Are these just knock-off? Is that just like, is that, is that his version of, of, uh, of, uh, what's that movie? When the, one the Academy Award, that's not often. Rayman. Marathon man?

No, rain man. What? You're being very literal. No, like, right, right? No, brain man. Yeah. Memory man. Memory man.

Hey, how many. Hey, how many, how many matches are in that matchbook? 240. The Memory Man. Click on Memory Man. What's this about? Memory Man is a crime novel about a man. Crime novel?

The crime novel about a man whose wife, daughter, and brother-in-law were murdered. Why they call you the Memory Man? My wife, daughter, and brother were murdered. And I remember it really well. Wait, his brother was, why is his brother with his wife and child? Oh, brother-in-law. Okay.

I feel like they Usually you hear by these things Like my wife and child would murder I'm sorry The fact that you I mean look just this is the Wikipedia Of the book Like why wouldn't you wait

Why not add that Well because in description In describing the book You now have to say The wife and daughter and brother-in-law Just don't have the plot point That the brother-in-law was there Yeah

I mean I know you wrote it that way It doesn't need to be good If I was the editor I'd say Well lose the brother-in-law It just makes it it's cleanier if it's the wife and kid It just raises questions. Yeah. I mean, it's totally normal.

It's not like, it's not like his brother. It's her brother. Yeah. So it raises questions somehow, though. It's, yeah, it's just, why were there? It's like, it's not even questions like, is just a million reasons why it's fine. It would be like his wife and daughter and also a co-worker were killed. Yeah.

It's just, it's just cleaner if it's just wife and child. Yeah. It's like, of course, like, you know, her brother came over and he was on his way. home from work. But like, what's a difference? Just don't have them there. You thought it wasn't enough? You think he wrote like this whole thing

where the wife and child were murdered? And he's like, it's missing. It doesn't feel the stakes aren't big enough. I just don't think I would care about this enough to do all the things this guy did. But my wife and child and her brother? Oh, that's just crazy. That's just, I mean, I'd have to remember that.

I mean, what is? This is great. This description looks great. Amos. This guy's name is Amos Decker. Yes. Amos is a performer of professional football. Is there ever been an aim?

Wait, hold on. I'm not trying to be like, but Amos is like a Jewish name, right? Yeah. It's like professional. I mean, there's probably been a few professional football players over you, but like, it's just funny. Amos. Amos. a professional football player who is violently hit on his first play.

What is this? Resulting in severe injuries and changes to his brain. As his football career has ended, Decker becomes a police officer. Because you can totally do that with brain damage. He has severe brain injury and like speak up. And later a successful detective. Yeah, you know, just like becoming a really successful murder detective. That doesn't take.

While using his newly acquired mental abilities, peremphasies, synesthesia, which is like smelling, is that when you smell memories or something? I feel like it's when you smell things you see. Right. Or you see, yeah, look at that back. It's called, they also call it lying disease. It's the thing where you, in profession, in which simulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a second. Right. So you see numbers as colors or something.

Yeah. Yeah, that's just dumb. It's just dumb. It's just what dumb people say We're gonna try to get laid at a shitty bar Yeah You know I see numbers as collars Like whatever

But you but you But you fail to see the Chazaport letters, right? That you're supposed to give you kids Payments? Hold on, hold on, wait, this is getting Wait, what was this book written? 20, oh, 20, I thought it's written in the 80s

This is a 2015 book. Here's weird, here's a weird thing. After a mass shooting at a local high school, Decker is asked to assist in solving the case by local police force he used to work for. It soon becomes apparent that the shooting is somehow related to the killing of his family 18 months before. I feel like you should have led with the fact that his family was killed 18 months earlier. Is the shooter's name by any chance, Ethan Crumpley? So this is an ex-professional football player who smells numbers.

And his family's murdered. He's investigating a school shooting. But the most significant thing is like, you know, he's got a pretty good memory. He's the memory man. Right. Or is the school shooter the memory, man. This is crazy. I mean, honestly, I was a little, not nervous, because I don't care.

If this isn't existing, I'm like, I'm like, what's his name? Who's the guy from Red Dawn? Who's like, avenge me? Oh, right. What's his name? I don't know. Look at Breeddonne and Benjamin. Harry Dean Stanton.

Oh, okay. I'm like Harry Dean Stanton and less temptation of Christ. If Baldacci didn't exist, I didn't invent them. Right? That's a line. We start playing Paul. Don't worry about it. It's a good line.

If God didn't exist, people would have done it. If Jesus didn't exist, he'd invent it. Yeah, it's the whole thing. Look, it's a great poll if you, if you saw the movie. If not, I can't help you. So the point is, but I mean, but I was kind of thinking, like, is Baldacci that bad? gonna play like the idea that beldachi is a stupid writer i mean i can't believe this is what we found

and this is his most famous book i thought he's been around forever and his most his biggest book is from 2015 yeah it's apparently there's no like there's no like pelican brief in his repertoire there's no like the firm you know i don't think he's uh quite that that huge like like christian wrote a bunch of like 30 books right yeah but i'm sure and i think he's pretty good writer you know he's not he's not he's not James Joyce you know he's not pretentious idiot but you know he's but everyone know who's wed Grisham write ah the firm the pelican brief you know those just big ones Michael Crichton Jurassic Park Congo you are other ones sure

Baldacci what he write ah you know memory man what's the one he wrote last year um slurpy sludge I don't know he's rights and shit and it just gets bigger and bigger we just ship into China we don't know It's just all a scam. The Illuminati just, like, prints these things for them. They pretend like the Chinese government bought, like, a billion copies. And somehow he's the biggest writer in the world. Baldacci is fucking roared in the.

Oh, my God. This is crazy how synchronistic this is. Yeah. We should do a review of memory man. We have to, if you sign up for the Patreon, we're going to read the memory map. How long is this book? 432 pages Yeah

I think I listen to a fair bit of audible They refuse to sponsor the podcast But I listen to a fair bit of audible.com I would assume it's about like 15 hours 20 hours Yeah So the next 20 episodes of the Patreon We're going to be reading

Line by line to memory man Sign up now Um It's just insane I'll go back to the story I guess The school of a mother this is why this is why she's given this woman's being charged she's being charged because of memory man

uh Jennifer oh James crumb what happened to James crumbly though yeah wait James crumbly wasn't charged Jennifer and James crumbly were the first parents in the U.S to be charged in a mess I mean you it's kind of funny that it's like it's like if you if you know if you walk out on your kid you can't be held accountable for anything they do

Look, look, I know I should, I'm a deadbeat dad, but I sure as I'll didn't unlock his gun. Jennifer and James Crumpley were the first parents in the U.S. to be charged in a mass school shooting committed by their child. Oh, James Crumbley faces trial in March. Okay. Oh, you got, but it's interesting that they were being tried separately. Do you think that was his request? Oh, maybe, yeah. Maybe he thinks he has a best stronger case than her.

Yeah. I feel it's necessary, and I'm happy with the verdict. It's still a situation. be funny if this was James Cumberley saying this. Right. It's still a sad situation to be in. It's got to stop. It's an accountability.

And this is what we've been asking for for a long time now, Schilling said. What, to charge the parents? This seems crazy, honestly. Yeah. This honestly seems a bit crazy. I think they're just desperate for anything. But like for anybody to pay any kind of price. Well, now I don't care.

Now I couldn't imagine anything turning me against the victim's parents in a school shooting. Yeah. But I don't know. This is starting to be like, maybe. It's possible what she did was really egregious. Yeah, let's look at the facts, I guess. A gag order by the judge, Revenue McDonald and defense attorney, Shannon Smith from speaking to reporters.

On the morning of November 30th, 2021, sorry to cut you off. No, no, no, here we go. School shoot members, school shoot members, school staff members, were concerned about a violent drawing of a gun. A drawing of a gun? Was he wearing a comp gun hand t-shirt? Still available? Link on the bottom.

Well, we maybe don't have to advertise it in this context. Bullet of a gun, bullet, and wounded man, accompanied by desperate phrases. What, like, please fuck me? Like, what's desperate? What? What's, why about, I'm not the one who did this. I'm not crumbly. How am I the bad guy?

On either crumbly's mad assignment. That is, that is weird. It's a crazy play. It's not like he wrote, like, a short story for his English class. It's like, hey, can you, can you find the, can you factor the, what do you factor, equations? Do you factor these equations? He's just throwing, like, a gun. Yeah, math shouldn't flow so easily into violent thoughts.

And they ask you to write a poem. You might, you might write some weird shit. Yeah. You find the least, the lowest common denominator. I'm shooting people. It's not wrong. His parents were called to the school for a meeting, but they didn't take the boy home. they were just like we don't want them well i don't understand they would call the school for a meeting

but they didn't take what they supposed to yeah were they asked to like it's usually not an option like i don't understand like take the boy home i can't i got work probably right it's probably yeah maybe that's not like it's a fault on their part but it's like did they suspend him like what's yeah like you know he's suspended yeah it's like well he can't stay here it's like it's like it's like it's like you have to go home but you can't stay here yeah if i found that in a kid's math assignment And I feel like it's on the school to like, you got to go home for the day at least. Yeah.

Like, what's that going to do anyway? Hopefully, they're hoping he kills himself? Probably. That's probably. What else could they be hoping for? They're hoping he like solves their problem for them. School, look, I'll say this. Someone got kicked out of high school.

In this case, the kid's not the victim. Mm. But the school's never like got the kid's interest in heart. Yeah. I wasn't. I wasn't someone who would do this. I wasn't crumbly. But they acted like I was.

They treated you like a crumbling. They treated you like a crumbling. They treated me like crumbling. And I resent that to this day. I resent, I mean, he's like, oh, every new, how am I the only one who got kicked out for this kind of thing, this kind of stuff? And I think, my thing was a joke. Everybody else slides. Yeah.

But everyone else is actually doing it. It's not even funny. My thing was hilarious. And like, And somehow I'm the one who, why have I always caught? Why am I always taking the burden? But, you know, the fact that you were treated like a crumbly and didn't become one is kind of a, it's impressive. Yeah, I mean, I'm just, I'm just, look, am I a hero?

Yes. Yes, I am. Please give me money. I'm a hero. Someone pay me. Why don't I get a grant for being a hero? A key to the city A lot of time supply of meat

I could either use or sell I'm not asking for like a whole side of beef every week I'm just like yeah A local butcher gives me a pound of beef every week That's nice It's one less thing to buy Things like everything adds up But no one gives me anything

Yeah I do so much for the world A few hours later Ethan Crumley pulled a handgun from his backpack and shot ten students and a teacher. A few hours after that? Wow. No one to check the backpack.

That's a tight turnaround. I mean, that's a lot. Did any of them die? The gun was the six, the six hour or nine millimeter. His father had purchased with him just four days earlier. Yeah, honestly,

they really buried the lead with the story. Yeah. These parents do seem bad. This seems really done. It's just negligent. But also, I feel like the principal and the teacher should also be charged. Like, everyone here was like, if you have a gun, can someone check if he has a gun?

Yeah, the first thing you should do is go, so does he have a gun? Right. It's like, can he get one? Like, and then just, and then remove it. Yeah, I'll be, look, I'm, you be, you be crumbly. And I'll be, like, a teacher. You be, you're Jennifer crumbly in a situation. Okay.

All right. So you, you got a weird one. You know that, I got to tell you, you sounds weird. Yeah, yeah, so, you know, he is of an imagination that boy. You lost a good kid lottery, I'll tell you that much. Let me ask you, though, this is, you know, I myself, they told how it was going to be a crumbly. It turned out not to be, but, you know, so I'm not trying to assume he's, you know, definitely getting me a crumbly. He is a crumbly.

His name is crumbling. Right. Oh, yeah, I meant that metaphor. You know, the expression, you know, once a crumbly or where's a crumbly, you know. There's an expression? Yeah, we use it around here. Uh-huh. So, let me ask you.

Oh, no. What's a gun situation at the house? Oh, he is a gun, and he likes it. Does he have it on him? Oh, maybe. I don't know. We should realize. Get the cop that hangs around waiting to shoot the kids.

Can he help us this on? I know he waits around trying to, you know, trying to plant drugs on kids. Can he help us, though? This is, hey, that sniper who stands on the roof of our stool. I have spayed all day. Could you get him down there? If this is a simulation, what are we simulating? I don't know.

I mean, honestly, what is it like a simulation theory? How does I explain anything? Who would pay to simulate this? What is this is this is like when we, this is like, if it's a simulation, it's the equivalent of like, hey, can you make an AI, an AI, an AI, Tom Holland with the cat body.

Spider-cat. He's Spider-Man, but he's a cat. Make that. That's a simulation. This is so fucked. Outside the color house, the jury four woman who declined to give her name. I thought they weren't allowed to ask the jury's name. What kind of creep is doing this, is working on this story that people don't want to talk to him.

Yeah. He has to interpret. He has to interpret what people are whispering to each other. And what's your name? I thought you were I don't Is the jury so unprotected? What is jury the duty in this country?

I mean Don't they like give you At least let you walk out the back door You got like walk up to the reporters Like hey what's your name? Bye Bye You know

It's like What if you were like Convicting John Gotti? You whisper any secrets today? The jury four-woman who declined to give her name said jurors were influenced by evidence that Jennifer Crumbly

was the last adult to possess the gun. That really happened at home, she told reporters. Seems like the least relevant point. So what? So what? She used it to... She used it to cook eggs in the morning and then she got into it back to him.

She somehow used it to cook eggs. Oh, I thought she was doing like sex stuff with it. She used it. some of his bite to you, but I just imagine using the gun to break eggs. She didn't mean to. She's like, where's my where's it? Where's the goddamn thing that you beat the eggs with

the whisk? Where's my whisk? I just used this. I mean, that was the case though. And he was just holding it to his head and she's like, here, give me that for a second. I mean, if that's the case and still was able to shoot all those kids in his teeth too, that's a good gun. Because guns get jammed pretty easily.

So if you were like, I mean, eggs are gummy. If she did that with the eggs, and it's still shot 10 people? I disagree. I think it's a bad gun. Well, whatever. It's an effective gun. It's a bold gun.

Can I say it's a bold gun? I don't know. Let me see. Wait, was that her? Yeah. Wait, which one? Oh, hold on. Oh, left.

Oh, the attorney's not bad looking. She's kind of got a weird expression right now. Oh, the mom is horrible. Yeah. Yeah, though, she seems like, She's like, you know, broke out of a prison under a Denny's. Like someone was holding her hostage under a Denny's for 10 years. Look, she looks like the kind of person who would give her a kid a gun to play with.

Well, I just look at a kind of six hours on a cheap gun probably. Yeah. Was that Austrian? But also it's like. I mean, she doesn't seem like, I mean, I'm being a little biased here. She could be like an unattractive, wealthy person. But I just, I don't get to a vibe that. She'd be like, get the Sig Sour.

It's like a nice gun. Right. I think. I don't know a lot about guns. I mean, I know. I'm pretty sure it's Austrian. Well, I'm pretty sure. Like, she was the last one.

Look up sick sour. But I thought that was his mom, the lawyer. What do I look up? Sig Sour. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, nine millimeter? Sure. But I really, I just want to know Sig Sour that was an Austrian gunmaker.

No, I don't want a picture. Look up, just this is what, I didn't want nine millimeter. I said, sure, I should have my ground. Help my ground. That's funny. There we go. Wikipedia. Swiss or German?

It looks German. It's German gunmaker. That's a German gun. She bought him a German gun. That pig brought a German gun. Yeah. Pig of a woman. Well, she was the last one to have it.

The dad brought him the gun. Oh, okay. The dad loves him. I don't know if my son should have a gun, but he's getting the guns, a German one. But also it's like, look, they both seem like horrible people. I don't know enough about the dad to say that. They both seem pretty awful, but like, and just a flip end and aloof.

Yeah. But, but about their son's mental health issues. But also it's like, are you allowed to get a gun for a kid or not? I mean, like, it's like nobody seems to like, it seems like in this place, it seems like at least in, where is this Michigan? I don't know what you're doing. I don't. I got to disagree with you here.

You said this earlier, and I kind of agree with it, but now we know more about them. I don't know if I agree with the nihilism of like, look, the world's pretty bad. So, like, once you buy the gun,

what's the difference? No, but I'm saying, that's just not, let's just make that not legal them. Maybe that's just not fuck around with, like, letting 15-year-olds own guns.

Like, I don't know if I'm a libertarian anymore because I'm like, look, going to fix anything yeah when you do something this dumb just go i'm in jail but i care yeah bad parents make it's a sick sour he loves it it's just it's i don't know what this is what's the legal precedent what are you talking about it's like it's like it's going to like the the determinator future with the robots and they're like oh but what about the what's

fault line. Is this area is this zoned for is this, is this garbage sheep zoned for a rebel base? What? I don't know. How do we balance each individual

terminator's rights against another individual terminator's race? What are we doing? We're just like picky now about like liberty? Whatever. What is the line with robocops? Or crumblies.

Well, that was a bold episode. That was a bold episode. Thanks so much for tuning in. And don't forget, like I mentioned 16 times before, we have a Patreon. You can join. You're allowed to. We encourage it. And there are more bold episodes on the Patreon.

More than bold. And that's patreon.com slash Ray Kump. Extra episodes every week, five bucks a month. Pretty good. So you can do that if you like it. And otherwise, if you don't want to do it, that it's totally fine thanks for tuning in and we'll see you next week have a great week