Kump - Ep. 172 EUROVISION | KRISTI NOEM | TRUMP TRIAL

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Ray and Lucie discus conflict at Eurovision, Kristi Noem's dog vendetta, Greta Thunberg, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Kopp. Hello. Hello, Lucy. How are you finding yourself in the world in this troubling time? I find myself extremely troubled. and directionless and wayward. You know why? Why?

Because you're not subscribed to any podcasts on YouTube. Like I've always told you, I've told you countless times, and you won't listen to me, and you think you know better. I say, subscribe to a come podcast, and you don't, and that's why you have on Wii, with the French call on Wii. You look at the world, you see what's wrong with the world.

I'm subscribed to shows. I'm confident. I have answers So it's important to everyone listening Even though we're having an actual marital spout here Or spat A fight I'm telling you how it is

But you can learn from this You just subscribe to the show If you and it'll be Just your life will be figured out You know That girl at work she'll date you And then that guy at work He'll stop

He'll stop bullying you He'll stop doing pushups in front of you the girl show him what a man he is you don't feel like you're as much of a man you you know why he looks he looks at your subscription list on your YouTube he says this guy's nothing we need just to make like a dating app style commercial we need to make a badge for people who say when they date they say I'm part of the come podcast yeah team and go there any way to get the people who listened to our show to start like a you know marrying each other or something and then we could we could say I want to be married

other people so they spread you know i don't need them to like stick to each other i need true we don't want them to turn for my closed if you if anyone had if anyone enjoys this show with their wife i want you to get divorced and so you can both go and spread this show out to other people um because you're selfishly keeping it enclosed in a closed loop we need viral uh activator uh people what they call them like there's influencers there's the people Agitators? No, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's terrorism. Um, there's something where there's the influencers and there's the people who scurry under them.

Hmm. We need those people. We, like, they're kind of like a weird, like, algae layer of, like, sub-influencing. Right. And they go, oh, you know what podcast this is? You know, yell, even the comments of the other videos. You'll be watching a video about how to, you know, get clean cut marks on your Gundam. And someone will be commenting, you know, I don't know, this podcast this is.

you better have listen to it or your children who knows i said i have to come in don't don't do that i appreciate the enthusiasm but don't well i said who knows yeah but still it's not even though it's vague it's still too threatening just keep it positive you know just positive vibes about the show you know and uh and you know in the notification bell you know that way you know when the show's here. And so you stop going, why is my life stuck? Why is my boss trying to get me to sleep with him? You know, why does he just respect me? Because, you know, it's only you have notification bells hit for the shows you like. You know, he's he's like, she's got nothing else going on. Why don't you know why don't you sleep with me? No, that's not right. I didn't make

out, but I didn't make the world. Yeah. I didn't create, I didn't create how bosses are. I'm just I'm just I'm just soaking it all in yeah it's said it's very deep sure um I think that we should encourage people yeah to you know maybe to a protest no no no listen listen to the show subscribe to the show notification bells that's what we need we don't need you go out there the Eurovision or like, you know, something out of opening their farmers market and protesting things.

That's not what we need. We need people. If anything, you put a sticker, you get a comp sticker, you put it on a wall somewhere. But hear me out. I think I'm on to something here. Okay, what have you just had a,

what have you had a protest of people who looked vaguely like they could be, they could be out there for Palestine, they could be out there for Israel? Sure. You're not sure. right and you go up to them and you say what are you protesting and they say we're not processing anything we just got together to talk about how much we love the comp podcast

I mean this is this sounds like the moments before my death and I'm like it's like it's just I'm the next thing I know I'm in the back of a van I have a bag over my head and like you these are the last fragments of unconsciousness I'll ever have. But it sounds nice. Are we hiring these people? It doesn't seem organic. Are we hiring like a like a like a like a like a like a massage team? Maybe they can maybe be capable of violence.

Well sure. But you know that all the people we hire you. But restrained enough to not commit it. I feel like we just just at a drop of a hat. I feel like we're overpaying that level. of controlled violent capability. You pay a premium for that, you know. Like, you know, you can get, you know,

it goes like drunken rabble-rouser, you know, aggressive thug. I mean, the top of the tier is controlled aggression. You know, like self-control. You're paying like a very tight. We don't need that for a simple marketing campaign. You're right. I don't want anyone get hurt.

I just want to enjoy the show. We also have a Patreon. You can tell them that. if they put you in the back of a van I say I'm part of their come Patreon I pay five bucks a month I get an extra episode every week that's pretty good deal

so why it hassling me right yeah like getting I think the idea of getting picked up at a van yeah and told about a podcast is that's a that's a there's something there no I was saying that's you're trying to you're pleading with them to let you live

because you you pay money for this podcast I mean I got I got to get back home and listen to it please I also have a kid you know um so like Whatever. Did I mention the Gondoms before?

I don't think you did. I did. I beg I mentioned it slightly. But I mentioned a couple episodes ago that I started building these Gundam kits. Well, you know what these are. I've shown you. Hold on.

This is a gun. This is a Japanese cartoon from the 70s. And this is actually a model I built. People in the comments seem excited to see it. So it's, now it's here. This is a Gundam. Uh, I don't know much to say about it.

It's a, it's a Japanese thing. Well, they'll talk a little bit about how you got into building the Gundam. Well, you started watching the Gundam show, which is, it's a 70s cartoon. Uh, here's the Gundam tank. That's a nice one. I like that one a lot. Yeah, I don't know why he's a tank. Like, I don't know why he has, I don't know why it's just not a tank, though.

It's odd to me that he's like, what kind of a person, but he can't even walk around. He's just, like, trapped in a vehicle of war. Well, I don't think he feels trapped. He's probably, or the Gundams, the Gundams don't have souls, right? I mean, the little guy fits in here, like a person, that's how big these things are. No, you're operated by people. Yeah. They're just devices of war.

Yeah. But you think that he feels bad, that he can only roll? Why does he don't know why he's a person? Like, this one actually has legs. It can move by pedal. Okay. So it makes sense. That's, you know.

This one's like, it's got the body of a tank, but he's not. like, but he, but he, he's got arms that are just cannons. Like, he can't, he can't hug you. You can't do it. He can't, like, raise children. Yeah. Why is he, why is he a person? Why is he just a tank?

Why does he have a head? I don't know. Is this, it supposed to make the enemy feel more like, oh, I got killed by a robot with a head. It's more personal. Yeah, it's probably supposed to instill fear. You know, like, like, this freak, this metal freak. Yeah.

Is coming at me. But then he has cantonins for hands. You know, it's a very, it's a stressful hobby. Very disorienting. It's a stressful hobby because it's all plastic. And they make you, these parts, these pieces are all plastic. It's supposed to be something I enjoy. But these pieces are all plastic.

And they come on these, like, preformed, like, boards. And you have to use these, what's they called nippers, nipper cuters, to cut off the board. But like, you're supposed to cut off, like, a large chunk first and then use a finer nipper to get closer. and like they're really expensive the ones you're supposed to buy like these are 10 they're not even that bad

like 10 bucks they're called godhand the Japanese have such fun names for things that's called godhand yeah this is a low level god hand though it doesn't really have

the feature that I would imagine on God's hand well he cuts plastic really well so yeah I don't know what you think you do so great with your hand would like cut through steel well I mean you know

you don't want something like a cut through steel, cut through plastic, because it'll create stress marks. It shows what you know. All right. Now, I also have a pair, like a $50 pair of nippers. Okay, don't brandish the nipper out. I haven't used yet.

I mean, I'm stressed out because it's like, they're like, oh, you'll be tacky if you don't, if you leave marks on it. I'm just trying to build a Gundam. Why? Now I have to make some thing. Like, I'm actually making an actual device. What's the point?

I mean, I didn't use it on this. You barely see any marks. Looks fine. I'm sick of like nerds on the engine. I'm trying to make me feel a certain way. I build things. And I didn't build it good enough, though. It's a prefabricated kit.

How are you supposed to build it any better than that? You sand it. You like you you you take a piece off at a time. You cut much further away from the actual piece. And then you use a slicer and slice it in like a deli cut slice, like a deli meat. And then you use a sander and you polish it. And then you use some kind of buffer and polish. It's just sort of every piece.

of pieces. I'm losing my mind here. That's too much. It's too much. You know, this is too much? Just Eurovision. What's going on with Eurovision? Speaking of open up battlefronts, it shouldn't be opened.

It Girl, Greta Thunberg. The It Girl. Is detained at Eurovision protest. Wow. Well, that's not the main thing, right? She's like a side show with the main. But I've never liked this girl. I've always, I mean,

Oh, God. What? No, no, go for it. But speak your soul. I've no problem. A kid wants to go run their mouth about the world burning. I mean, that's fine, I guess. I mean, maybe the parents should be like, hey, why don't you do your homework?

Why don't you, like, get something done? Yeah. Before you start, like, running your mouth. But that's, like, I'm not mad to the kid. But I've never cared what a kid had to say. Unless it's like, hey, yeah, like, someone's hurting me. Yeah. Someone's doing something to me.

then we listen that's really you know but she's abusing that she's saying that she's saying the earth has hurt no you know what i mean she's abusing the trust you know the stranger danger thing she's like stranger danger what happens she's like what happened little girl the earth is overheating like shut up you know yeah yeah if a kid needs help i mean i want to be like that guy from that movie who's what's the movie with the army army of darkness where he goes around the world. Finding kids. Jim Casaville's in it. Um, I don't know. I don't know. The one way the kids. The kid. Oh, the, the umbrella. The umbrella. The umbrella. No. What are you talking? The one with the guy that based on the true story was really big like back in the fall. It was a big movie.

But the movie they wouldn't let you see. Oh, right. Oh, right. Body of lies. The sound of freedom. Yes. Is what you were talking about. I thought you were talking about the umbrella. because he also gathers children he does but he he turns him into um i guess like superheroes so it's fine yeah there's an unwritten rule like you know if a kid's got powers and he just you know well i mean you i still treat him well if i was if i was a rich guy i wouldn't collect kids i would just i wouldn't do that we never ended up watching the sound of freedom we should we should we should watch yeah i mean i'm sure it's probably yeah i'm sure it's fine I don't know.

But Thumburg is, you know, she just sits there. She acts like she, and the UN invites her to talk. Like she, and it's like, hey, play child. Please tell us. We're like supposed to be like the smartest people from around the world. We got together to the UN to discuss issues. But let's listen to a snot and I was 12 year old yell at us and applaud her. It's like the thing.

It's like the cow with the head on. the head of a bull yeah what am I thinking of you mean a baffamette yeah or the false idol yeah or ball something yeah

Gras Bloomberg's bathamette no what's what happened so what's going on with Eurovision in general Eurovision is basically American Idol for Europe right um yeah okay

there's a different article it's not this one right but I think Eurovision is also like, I think maybe they write their own songs. Okay. In Eurovision? That doesn't seem nicer. Could be wrong, but I know the winner won with his own song or their own song.

I think they write their own songs. That sounds right. Okay. So they're actually like, they're not just doing a cover of, you know, show me who stopped the rain. Or what was it? What kind of, what was a big song you remember of American Idol? God, what was the song? There was a song.

I'm trying to remember the first song from when Kelly Clarkson won. They did write her a song. Oh, he wrote her a song? But it was utterly forgettable. Yeah. I'm kind of brown face. Kelly Clark. So what?

Go on. Switzerland wins Eurovision song contest amid Kaza protests. And this was the winner, Nemo, from Switzerland, non-binary performer. Of course. I just immediately don't care about this person. I mean, to be fair, I don't care about anyone's ever been a singer, except for like Tina Turner, Richard Franklin, you know? Yeah.

Anyone who's like, he's just singing crap is for the birds, in my opinion. Who cares you can sing? Play a guitar. It's not bothering people. Everyone's someone nam and we're singing. It's an auto-tuned crap. Oh, it's got a really good voice. And when they're singing about, like, you know, candy or some shit.

Yeah. It's all horses shit. Switzerland on Saturday won the Eurovision song contest 2024 in Swedish host city Malmo, beating runner-up Croatia after having been among bookmakers top three to win the competition. I don't know. My whole countries are like taking credit for these people. Are they like, are these like governments like funding the song? I'm not sure.

I mean, I think sometimes they just, well, it's sort of like Miss Universe or something. the style I don't like any of this I think where they were each from a country yeah but I think Miss Universe they get they prep these women though they have a chain I don't think the government preps

I think they do I think they give them like you know HCH and like you know I think they they teach the women how that to eat and then have a good in bikinis you know they procure the best women well you know the best accordance of the Miss Universe standards which you know pretty good

sure is that Trump's thing I'm not sure Maybe Yeah But I think He likes women So I wouldn't Pooh

Pooh the Trump thing No he definitely was in charge Of some competition But I'm saying I feel like you Who you want me To find you a woman

Joe Biden or Trump I said Yeah Get Trump You know He knows He knows women Who do you

Why would they be Finding you a woman Whatever I'm just saying If I If I showed up In Washington D.C. It's like

uh we wanted to get you a woman um but you know if uh you wanted to go you know both biden and trump i mean imagine i'm some guy i'm some important guy either way something horrible is happening no it's just no no no you're making it not every situation when someone finds you a woman well we'll just fetch you a woman well i mean she'd be some kind of professional i guess but yeah but she'd be paying very well i imagine she'd be being paid very well i'm not going to hurt her so she's going to come to, she's going to come to the Kennedy Center with me, we watch opera. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. And if anything else happened, you know, it would be, you know, it would be negotiated. No one's getting hurt. Your mind's just go straight to the other, Lucy. Now, I'm married man. I wouldn't do that. Yeah.

I'm just saying, but the idea that, like, if Trump found me a woman, I'd be like, oh, my God, where, you know, what, what prison cell did she come out of? It's just not fair I'm just imagining that that both of them have some warehouse where there's a bunch of crates with women in them No no the point of

The point of having the skill Of being a guy like Trump They don't have to have a warehouse Someone who doesn't know like women very well We have to have a warehouse of women Trump is just a network of people Yeah I know yeah I know this lady She's good

I don't know Well maybe you're right What am I doing here? whatever. The point is Eurovision. Tell me more about it. Eurovision. Okay. So build as a feel-good celebration of European diversity.

This year's contest has been thrust into the political spotlight with calls for Israel to be excluded over its military campaign in Gaza triggered by Hamas's deadly attack on October 7th in Israel. I don't like this. I don't like it's one bit.

They're basically trying to keep Israel out of the Eurovision. awards the Eurovision Festival or whatever it's called because they're carbon bombing you know a defenseless people or whatever right well it's what they're doing guys I'm I've said we just you know we I think you bombed them enough I think there's been enough bombing I'm not I'm not I'm not on the side of the bombs no that being said I don't I don't like the idea of this being the battlefield Eurovision can't be the battlefield.

Yeah, the war will not be won at Eurovision. Right. It's not acceptable to me. If it was the Olympics, I would kind of understand it more because the Olympics has a history of reflecting the political situation more. I guess. But Eurovision, I've never thought of that as being like an extension of our reflection of our international politics. What are you going to tell your grandkids that, you know, you were being slaughtered in mass until Nemo took a stand for you? who's nemo he was a non-binary singer from switzerland and he saved us all

is that really what you think's going to happen nemo this can't be what happens i mean did they keep them out or are you going to protest nemo because they didn't take a stand on their big day they didn't they didn't support your cause on their big day right they won the eurovision contest what happens the next year if someone gets invaded a Nemo is being held Should we go after a Nemo? Not to go after, I'm not going to But I'm saying, should we hold them accountable?

For what? For war crimes. I think if, look, I think if Netanyahu Um, weren't they all charged of war crimes or something at the Hague recently? There was talk of warrants being issued for, you know,

both Israel and Hamas. Yes. At the Hague. I think of that. happens, you know, Nemo should also maybe get a warrant because he could have done more. Maybe. Nemo did, yeah. Nemo should have brokered a piece.

I don't, the fact that he accepted his award is kind of like the bloods on his hands, perhaps. Maybe. Nemo doesn't want to protest. Nemo is a Swiss guy. They're trying to keep out the Israeli woman. What's her name? Oh, yeah, with a Golan? I don't know.

What I'm asking you? there's a place called go on yeah no I'm pretty sure her last name it's not the article um it just might be deep in there um Eden golan okay so Eden go on

can you go on can you go back at oh sir the demonstration was organized to protest the participation of Israel in the Eurovision contest while Israel as waging war on Gaza, Israeli singer Eden Golon 20 qualified to participate in the 68th edition of the song contest earlier this week. Golon had been met with a chorus of cheers and booze and dress rehearsals in the semi-final on Thursday.

It's truly such an honor to be here on stage representing Israel with pride, Golon said. Oh, look, I mean, I don't know that they're really doing anything wrong. Who? Or that she's doing anything wrong. Israel? You know, no, Israel. You support, you support the... No, I don't call Israel she.

Oh. Eat and go on. Oh, no, look. I mean, you should be able to take part in a stupid, meaningless song contest. Yeah. It's like, would you give me, really... I mean, did they stop the Holocaust, so weird out Yankevick could do a song? No.

But, I mean, this is a different time. Yeah. Right. She's... Yeah, like, I don't know what she's supposed to do. She's supposed to go out there and say, I hate... I hate Israel? No.

I hate the country. She wouldn't be able to go back. Like, I mean, maybe she should. I don't know. No, I don't think that's a smart move for her.

But her family's there, so I kind of get it. I get why you feel like that. I don't know why you think she would. She's sitting there going on, I'm proud of me from Israel. You're making this thing up. I'm trying to understand what people would have wanted.

They want her out. They don't want her. They don't want Israel around. So they just don't want her. They kind of hate Israel now. Look, if they weren't, if they didn't hate him before, They certainly don't like them now.

I don't like to pretend like everything. But they're kind of like, I don't think every country is in the world. When Iraq war happened, we still like went everywhere. We still send, you know, DiCaprio, the bang models all around the world. Yeah. Do you think the Romanian models say, no, we're not going to let DeCaprio take us on his yacht until the war in Iraq stops? No. And what about, you know, um,

The guy who played Wolverine. Hugh Jackman? No one gave him, boo. Why would they? Because he's the Iraq war. I guess he's Australian, but didn't they help us? I'm saying we didn't pay any price for, like, bombing Iraq for Indiana and Afghanistan for 20 years.

Yeah, that's a good point. We were allowed to get into every stupid contest and, like, you know, and, um, shore movies in China. And we were definitely just as. is not more belligerent than Israel about it. Like, like, you know, if people even lightly criticized us,

we gave them a world of shit. You don't think, they show wedding crashes in China. Of course they show wedding crashes in China. And in Romania and Russia, they called it Druskaska crashes. Crashers and Russians. I was saying,

they showed our stupid movies everywhere. Sure. No one kept us out, you know, but Israel, just because they bomb, a couple of, you know, thousands of civilians that all of a sudden they're like, you know,

oh, you can't do your little song and dance, you've auto-tuned dumb song. It's outrageous. Yeah. If she was like writing songs for the contest, you know, or I don't know, if she was saying something in a speech about how wrong it is,

that, you know, that Gaza has people in it. and we just really need to get rid of them get rid of them yeah like I I would kind of understand I never heard that approach to war propagated by the way it's just like the fact that the place has people in it it's just bothers you know what I mean it's just you know when the country next to you it says people in it it's just it's just

we really didn't so why not come help our war I mean it's a good appeal I've been I've been to the World War II Museum I saw a lot of propaganda no one made that point you know why does Japan have people that's interesting I mean you'd be interesting war propagandists you know it'd be better if Germany's didn't have anyone in it imagine all those open fields yeah but no one in them I mean I like the idea too that you just imagine like people just get sucked up by a giant vacuum it's not like carnage oh that would be better yeah it would be better sure I guess I mean you could just vacuum for who though

Better for who? If we could do war with with vacuums? I mean, be better for the people who take the land, I guess. Though I probably, it wouldn't be great in the vacuum. Like, it would probably be, like, you know, pretty violent in there, too. You think? Yeah.

I assume. I don't know what you're talking about. Because people don't want to get vacuumed up. Like, you know. Right. They don't. I agree. You got to do it by force. Sure.

Before you. I'm thinking a metaphor. Scrash the vacuum idea. All right. I will. I'll think of a metaphor. Um, the goal on that she didn't win, though.

So I mean, what thing this Switzerland never win? Aren't they like, you know, bankers? They're, yeah, they do banks.

They do illegal banks. So this is their whole gimmick. And then neutral? Yeah. Do they like chocolate? They have good chocolate. Yeah. They probably have some.

vineyards probably right I don't know look up a Swiss vineyard I never heard of them but I've actually never heard of a Swiss wine

so the Swiss I mean I don't know why we're I don't know I've been yeah vineyards of Switzerland wine country

occupies 15000 hectare am I supposed to know what a hectare is does that make me dumb what's a hectare is it like 100 is it like a lot of 100 acres and the wines

are mainly produced in the south part of the country i don't care about this i just don't care enjoy your swiss wine you're fucking creeps um yes anyway what do you think they should do who i i do you talking about who i don't think the giant vacuum i vetoed that already what are you asking me uh well i guess it's there is nothing to be done right because because because nemo is the winner. Right. And now it's over.

Like, is it... Are you asking me? Like, what are you asking me? Should they invite her in the contest? I think she was in the contest. Yeah. People just try to keep her out. Mm-hmm.

And Eurovision was like, no, we're fine. We don't care about war crimes, but her song wasn't very good. You know? You people have a very twisted what we care about. If she was... If she got a great non-binary song, we might have, you know, we might have given her the Eurovision cup. Or whatever it is.

Mm-hmm. But she didn't. What is Stunberg, I have to say? She thinks Nemo is better than Israel. Probably, right? She was wearing the, what is it called? Kefka. Yeah.

Are people supposed to wear kefkas? Like, we weren't, isn't that like a Muslim thing? I mean, I don't know. I just thought it would be something if I wore it to be offensive. I'm here to show we think it is. It is outrageous and inexcusable for Eurovision to let Israel participate while committing a genocide. I thought she was worried about the world like melting. Well, apparently, it's kind of a global warming issue when you bomb, when you just bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb.

Yeah, that's a cop out. And they're using tanks. We're always good to have war idiot, a little idiot Dumburg. All right. How about your focus? how about you focus on Matt Damon's private plane how about that whether we are the proper carbon credits sick of this girl I can't believe she she's supposed

you were she was like for some reason she became like the Messiah of the planet right and then she's glomming onto the Israel Palestine thing yeah she's glom it on she's I think she maybe she's she's realizing that her shelf life it's a little bit shorter you know as an as a public Oh, so she wasn't the real deal. Activist than she thought it was going to be. Because, you know, there are only so many times that you can go to Congress or the UN and say, shame on you.

Well, she's like 40 now. Before, you know, before they go, okay, we've heard this before. She's like a 40-year-old woman, right? I mean, how old is she? We pretended to, you know, have an emotional reaction to this two times now. So, how much of that was a weird kink. Oh, yeah. Oh, totally it was a weird kink.

Oh, tell us how bad we are. of evil kink yeah of course yeah but it's well without saying I thought yeah but I you said but now she's got to find something else

yeah learn the code Grellet needs to learn the code how about you know you learn some Pearl Vision or that thing or that's a store what was these JavaScript I think

I think she'll learn some JavaScript some HTTP some HTTP hypertext she should learn Rust did you learn rust that's a good language to learn i hear pearl ruby ruby on rails ruby on rail yeah you can learn that pretty quickly ruby on rails how about that growl and you can make a little program about how the world's burning no one cares what do you think this was you think we're a bunch of you think we're a bunch of farmers yeah code a video game about penguins about penguins starving to death yeah that'd be fucking hilarious what do you call it

penguin hungry penguins it says all cute hungry penguins oh what they gobble up all the food no they don't have any food they're just starving I guess it's things you can do to keep them from dying quicker but you know they usually it's kind of like Tetris

right it's not a game like grand death dollar where you play through it it's Tetris right you see how long you can keep the penguins alive you know everyone is just a replayed all the time we might sound a little callous here but like for the right I accept

that it's real and that it's going to happen I just don't think it's gonna be fixed by a nine year old girl yelling yeah it just doesn't seem likely I don't think she has the juice she thinks she has this is not the plot of the film North by Rob Reiner starring Elijah Wood

when he was nine and the kids take over the world and they start like a kid company no is the real world where children are not listened to and um have they ever just considered having a just a very hot woman talk about this

yeah they tried that stuff no one really you mean it's like when I mean I'm not saying it would be a I guess they just go shut up climate slut we're not paying you to talk you know they say something like come on yeah I mean it's there's a real I don't think you understand how rich men think about women I mean, I don't know, like, intimately, but if I get the vibe,

I don't really, like, listen to them not very much. I can be crazy here. They're not exactly, like, asking them what they think about, you know, science. Yeah. Who could get on board who would actually have an impact? You? What? I don't know.

Who could get on board? On board what? The yacht? Are you talking about sneaking onto the rich guy's yacht? No. Oh, what are you saying? I don't know. I think you're saying like, all right, well, maybe we sneak onto the, on to some rich man's yacht in Monaco and we give them the business.

We give them the business. We scare them. We pretend to be ghosts. Interesting. I mean, look, we have a better chance of scaring him on that front than like, you know. I mean, because this guy probably funds wars all over the world. These guys who like hang out in these boats

are all like arm's dealers. You think they're like, oh, like rich kids and some of them are. But some of them are just guys who are like, hey, like, how did you make your money? I just told a bunch of bullets to kids in Africa. Like what? Like, yeah, you know, it's good money.

Like, woof, that's rough. So anyway, do you want to scare me? I'm like, nah, I guess you can't. Boo. Yeah, how would you, what would you go? Would there be sheets? Well, I'm thinking like, kind of like a, I'm using like the roadmap of kind of like the Christmas carol thing.

Yeah. Where, you know, you pretend to be the ghost of somebody they injured with their, with their ways, with their greedy ways. Sure. You know, like a ghost of a, like a, like a, the ghost of a child. You want, actually, you want. Honestly, I think Greta Thunberg is close, but if she was a ghost, she would be a lot more effective. So your plan is we still have to get a child.

You're planning still involves getting a child. I don't know. I don't know what ghosts of a child. I mean, what ghosts of a child has ever been? I think we need a cuter, deader-looking child. This is crazy. Where have you ever seen the ghost of a child in anything? They sent like old men, old businessmen ghosts in the,

Christopher's Carol. They're like old businessmen who died. Yeah. It wasn't a child. Right, but this could be a child. Why, but why? Because I don't know. It might be more effective even than I, that I, that I, I don't like working with

children. They're a hassle. They have different, they have always hourly. They can't work a certain amount, only some work certain amount of hours. That's true. They're annoying. You get, yes, I'm, I'm the opposite of that guy from Nicologian. I don't want anything to do with kids.

All right? They're just annoying. I find them, I find them irritating off. And, you know, my friend has kids. I'm like, it's great to me. I, we went to a party on, on my friend's 40th birthday. And what did I say to this kid? First time I met him.

I just, I was like, ah, you're a good boy. I walked away. You know? Because I had nothing to say to a child. What do you want me to say to him? I just said, you're a good boy. I walked away. True story.

But, go on. I mean, there's worse things that a man your age has sent to a child upon first meeting. If I have a child, I'll be a good dad. But I'm not going to, like, when a kid's, like, 10 years old, start trying to be involved in his life. What the hell is that? Yeah. I'm not a teacher. There's no reason for her.

So, like, these adults are coming and go, oh, how old are you? What the fuck you care? Yeah. You creepy old drunk? You know what? Yeah. for this kid well it's very hard to come up with something to say to a child you know yeah when they're fine yeah you know when they need if they need intervention yeah look yeah my kids on fire

i'll like you know i'll hit with a carpet or something or you know a blanket whatever i can find i don't know you stop drop and roll you strong them in the ground you start rolling them maybe i don't know yeah i would not i wouldn't like kid just burn to death and not help them right but that's like you know But that this hasn't happened. But go on. But tell me, I don't want to veto your child ghost plan to somehow help global warming. Yeah. Well, you know, yeah, I mean, it's basically straightforward.

It's just you give the person an existential crisis through the instrument of fear. And then, you know, they change their ways. Okay. And you just do that to everybody in Congress. So what, all right, but what, so we're sedating them and we wake up, they wake up on their own yacht. Yeah, or, or, you know, when they're sedated by themselves. Okay, but so what's the child doing? It's so scary.

When they're like half asleep. What's the child doing? Just being a ghost and giving them a warning. Well, act it out, act it out. Along the lines of Senator Stevenson, your ways, your wicked ways are going to catch up with you. You did a kid's going to say these lines properly? I, there are some good... There are some good child actors out there.

Oh, so we're going to get, like, the color of fanning? I mean, what are we paying for this? I mean, most actors suck. Yeah. We're going to get some random kid. I mean, I... Well, you hope that the disorientation will meet the acting halfway. He's going to...

This guy's just going to be... I'm not buying it. You guys be going to get a decent actor? Well, look, I'm... I'm throwing out solution. you're creating new problems this is where I feel like now we're just dealing with a kid

I say we make me the ghost you we get a crackhead homeless guy he's the ghost I go you're a ghost I mean we hang we just dangle we throw crack at the guy

he's my plan we get a crack hit homeless guy right and you go I'm gonna give me a bunch of crack all right and you know just hold on hold it's right here and I go wake up and throw the crack at

the guy we were scaring and go there's the crap and he goes ah this is a ghost and that's my plan okay yeah that's good work that's way scary imagine like a crazy homeless person just running at you to get cracked and got thrown at you and you hear this conversation honestly he probably hears this whole thing as he like before he wakes up he's like he hears me going like hold on like he's like he's like what's what is this there's a crack get this is a ghost That's way scary in some kids Like it's It's nothing compared to that

It is scarier But I don't know if it's as instructive I think that the person's just gonna feel like they were attacked by a homeless person I was gonna say Just hope and I stop them I go do your crack You see that I say to the guy

This could happen at any time You hear me This ghost could come back at any time So you better change your ways global warming no no more why yeah

turn off turn off the global warming you stop being selfish yeah stop your wicked ways you kill the cows or whatever what has to happen

what does the Kyoto Treaty say does that keyoto treaty they keep bringing up that we signed in Kyoto why are we selling in Kyoto well that's that has to do with like carbon I'm saying like here it used to be the capital but not for many years I mean that was Tokyo

why we saw why we go to Kyoto a treaty shouldn't we be signing it in the Japanese capital it seems it sounds like the sound of the name better the Kyoto treaty it's like saying like it's like saying of the Oklahoma treaty like why do you guys have in Oklahoma

like well don't don't usually come to D.C. The embassies are all D.C., right? I imagine if they came into like the fucking Oklahoma Like, you know, the sign of treaty, but global warming, it'd be crazy. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you know, but even if it was Philadelphia, which used to be the capital,

a closer analog, right? That'd be weird. You know, when it came to Philly? It's got to D.C., it's where everything is. Maybe the U.N. But all that shit gets sound of the U.N. They don't call the fucking, you know, you, Manhattan treaties. Right.

Same. just say whatever you know greener yeah well i mean what did thundberg do is she is she in rikers island right now was she arrested i think so i mean i think i think i think they put her in rikers i think people were arrested but i don't know if thumburg was student movements around the globe have kicked off a series of protests against israel's war in gaza from Columbia we talked about this already how many weeks do we get to talk about protests enough you get the get the get the homeless guys um time for time for a ghost story what else what else is happening in the world we got uh well we have a follow up we were talking about christie gnome

the other day we were she was a woman who uh killed her own dog yes she killed her dog and uh named cricket right she took it to a she shot it in a in a grave of of greer of gravel. Oh, he said greer cheese. And she also bragged about killing a goat under similar circumstances. And, yeah. And now...

Did you eat the goat? I don't think she did eat the goat. It was good. She should have eaten the goat. It should have eaten the dog. It's the most... Well, I mean, look, dogs, I don't care, but, you know, people get upset.

But goats are the most eaten meat in the world. Yeah, lots of people eat goat. I mean, it's the most eaten meat, so yeah, I think I just said that. Have you ever had goat meat? I'm pretty sure if I had goat meat, yeah. Like, is, uh, there's any places that serve goat meat? No, of lamb. I'm sure if I'd go, whatever.

Um, well, now, Chrissy Nome is saying that she would like to do the same thing to Biden's dog. Really? Commander. Biden's dog is named Commander? Yeah. it's like all right like everything everything in his life has got to be a

something about how he wants to be the president well he is the president yeah why not why that call him it's got me it's cute it's like hey you're the commander in chief it just seems a little desperate like why not name your dog Benny or something this is a dumb name from people who aren't the president there's seven billion people who aren't the president

in the United States who can name their dog Benny he's a friend he's I think it's fucking adorable and I'm not in the Biden fan. I think his brain is rotten out his nose, but whatever. I think it's cute that he goes like, hey, you're I hear the Commander-in-Chief to his dog. I think that's fun

if he does that. I don't have to like, you know, take every stripping humanity away from him just because he's like, you know, like he's just like he's just vibrating. I have weird frequency all the time. I'll go like pull him out of his closet

and pop in front of a camera and inject him with stuff. I can still enjoy his dog's name, right? Yeah. Go on. She wants to kill him. She wants to. Well, Christy Noem wants him dead.

Oh, that's, it's the dog shit places? Like, what happens? I guess she does. She really thinks that dog is a bad dog. South Dakota Governor Christy Noem suggests in her new book that President Joe Biden's dog commander should suffer a similar fate to the working dog she shot on her She put this in a book? Yeah. It seems like a strange thing to put in a book.

How did she work this into a book? I mean, I thought she made it like a pitty remark out of like a speech off the cuff. She like wrote this into a book? What's this going on? Well, to be fair, the book is called 20 dogs I'd like to kill. At the top of a list of potential 20-25 day-one priorities in her book, no-going, back. No one writes that if she were president, she'd ensure commander was nowhere on the grounds according to an advanced copy. What? Hold on. What would I do if I was president on the first

day in office 2025? Thanks for asking. I haven't have a list. The first thing I do is make sure Joe Biden's dog was nowhere on the grounds. Commander, say hello to cricket for me. Interesting. So I was about to say that it's not really a threat against the dog. I was thinking that when I first read it too. It's like, it's a strange thing because she's, and this isn't a book, I get, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, but in the parenthetical.

It just doesn't make sense to me. I'd make sure he's nowhere on it. Like, you were in the middle of saying, I would score his, like, it's almost like saying, like, what did you do? I would put him in a carrier and safely bring him to Biden estate. I think they would take your own dog away,

by the way. Yeah. But whatever. But she, You say a little cricket for me. It's like, you didn't establish that you were murdering the dog. This is, I don't know if we should vote for this person. Mm-hmm.

It seems odd. But my dog foster would sure be welcome. Well, yeah, he's your dog. No one expects you to take the, no one's at, no president has ever left a White House and like says, yeah, this fucking problem now. Take this stupid dog. He kicks his dog at her. Like he'll get his phone.

He's a son. ball here we wipe his ass now what is wrong with her why do people but my dog foster would sure be welcome he comes to me to the capital all the time and loves everyone this is written in a book this is insane commander the biden family's german shepherd uh bit secret surface personnel and 24 separate incidents. Well, to be fair, it's trained... Commander is a bad dog.

No, but to be fair, he's trained to find drugs. At the White House and other locations. The dog was removed from the White House last October. Oh, does I have that's the White House?

What should we talk about? A stupid bitch. Apparently, she addressed it again. In a Sunday appearance on CBS, Face the Nation, Nome said, Joe Biden's dog has attacked 24 secret service people.

So how many people? is enough people to be attacked and dangerously hurt before you make a decision on a dog and what to do with it. 24. He did something. He got rid of it. He left the White House. 24 people. That's the number. You have your answer. I'm not saying, but if you ask me, should the number be lower? Yeah, probably. Probably after like two bites, maybe three. I would say, yeah. But, you know, but whatever. But you're asking these hypotheticals when he's not even live there anymore. also it's like do you comment on anything other than whether or not dog should be that's her gimmick you don't that's why we're not successful because you understand gimmicks it used you you you think like oh if I keep repeating this thing they're gonna just think I'm one thing and that's that's the benefit yeah the gift is to be one thing I'm talking about dogs I'm talking about Israel I'm talking about Greta Thunberg I should be sitting here going like

rats and cats I'm a rat cat boy rat cat And any time a cat comes up Or a rat comes up in the news I'm like, Rat cat! And literally the video would just be me split screened whatever I'm reacting here going Rat cat!

And that would literally become way more successful than whatever we are. I mean literally we should do this. Yeah. I'm not even kidding anymore. We're going to, I'm not saying we'll stop the show yet, but we're going to do that also. Yeah.

And when we make more money with that, then maybe we consider things. all right that rat cat I mean cause cat you know and so anytime like someone rats

like with this trial right with this Trump trial and Stormy Daniels on the stand she's a rat rat cat with a rat cat this is the new

this is America no one no one told you you have to live here face the nation host, Margaret Brennan, interjected, you're saying he, you're saying he should be shot. That is the answer's not.

I don't know why we're meeting your halfway. Why don't you bring up the fact like, you seem to be saying you should be shot, but also that you want, he's leaving the ground. Why do you sound so crazy? But yeah, you're saying to be shot. And she responds, that's what the president should be accountable. What?

You're saying he should be shot. Margaret, Brennan, yes, sir. And the response is, that's what the president should be accountable to. Nome continued. Okay, so she wasn't asked, oh, without stopping to answer, what is the number? I don't know. Is there a video we can find?

Hmm. Because honestly, this article might be badly written. That's the other thing I'll be noticing. Articles are written terribly now. Journalists are either bad at their jobs that don't exist anymore. I don't know, whatever. Yeah. Can't find anything anymore.

No, honestly, the internet used to be, like, I have everything. And now it's just nothing. It's just like, hey, guess which presidential candidate wants to shoot dogs? Like, which one? I don't know. And a little penguin rome was passed. Yeah. Doesn't matter.

Uh, moving on. What would you do with the dog? I would, you know, I think removing him from the, rounds is probably good how are you going to remove him no without shooting them just you know put a muzzle on him probably biden can do it because probably commander doesn't bite him right oh but even though it would be funny if Biden is always getting fit by his dog oh my mom he's trying to smell his head he just he frighten him every time he drives a bed of me you think you like he like leans over to the dog and smells his head.

He does the children. Yeah, I mean, he probably kisses a dog on the mouth. I wouldn't be surprised. You think he calls it Jill? Dr. Biden. I would have a name of Dr. Biden, a dog. Um, yeah. Dr. Biden.

That would be funny. Oh, hey, Jill. Yeah, me, Dr. Biden. Our dog, Dr. Biden wants to say hello. Be a real, real bastard. Anyway What happens with What's

What we do? Was this TikTok Bight dance? What's what happened before? What's going on The Stormy Daniels thing? Stormy Daniels testifying. Are they going to get married?

They should get married. They should. When him and Melania, you think him and Melania are going to bust up? Who knows how he like forms these contracts with women? She doesn't seem very how old is she the porn star claimed to sleep with the president i think she's in her 50s right

that's too was very old he was he was yeah he had sex over when she was in her 40s oh she's 45 okay okay i think she the attractive whatever yeah what's the article say is she winning i think she's always had sort of like a you know she's i feel like she's she's the kind of person who's always sort of looked like that like she's always looked a little bit older sure yeah i just i got I got to tell you, I feel like this is the worst money anyone's ever spent. This is the worst, this is the worst hush money I've ever seen spent. Yeah. This is the opposite of what you want when we pay hush money.

To be on trial for fraud? I can't think of a worse situation. I mean, this woman rat out, like before, like, why is she allowed to do that? Why isn't she on trial? She took hush money and then rather them. out to the news sure that should be illegal it should be the integrity of hush money must be preserved i didn't did you give it back um i'm not sure i don't think so wasn't your lawyer didn't her lawyer go to jail michael avianti or whatever i think so there's

there's something very crooked here i'm not saying like trump isn't crooked but like i don't know why we like we're acting like this woman's trustworthy she's the least trustworthy like person trial ever heard of yeah like i don't think i've ever really paid attention to this like every time stormy daniels comes up i've never been like oh i have to read this sure because i know it's just going to be about it the fact that that that they boned right yeah don't you'll see it yeah what's it was we the are we maybe we're being arrogant stormy daniels as we had never seen her. I've never seen her. During her time on the stand and former President

Donald J. Trump's criminal trial, the adult entertainer dressed for history and a jury. She doesn't seem dressed for history. She seems to be wearing like a coat. Yeah, it's just kind of normal. There is a certain irony to the fact that the most consequential role Stormy Daniels, the adult entertainer at the heart of the Trump criminal trial, may ever play as taking place off screen. and not with her tits out and she's not having sex

who wrote this is written by like Yakov-Syernoff the Russian comic the not a journalist this is like insane this is the President of the United States is being the perspective of the President of the United States is being charged for election fraud

with the ex-president but he's running now election fraud and what you think is a very serious circumvention of freedom or something, I guess. On the other hand, you know, these other perspectives, ex-presidents being charged with crime to try and stifle his election.

Yeah. Either way, it's kind of important. And he's like, hey, remember if she had her tits out? It just doesn't seem like there's any gravity to the news anymore. Yeah, like I, like, can journalists stop acting like they've, like, you know?

They're above it. Right, like, yeah. It's so crazy that this woman's important, like it's like do they ever get bored of working that angle of it so there's such hacks they're such garbage people who wrote is that that girl taylor Lorenz is it Taylor Lorenz I don't think does she worked there now Vanessa Friedman fresh Freeman sucks hey yeah you want to you want to do a little battle you want to do a little news battle I'll take on Vanessa Friedman I don't care I'm afraid this muck-raking bitch

there are no cameras allowed in the courtroom okay we get it there's no whatever there is where she is a crucial witness as she tells her story of her sexual encounter with mr trump and the hush money payment and a non-disclosure agreement her fixer arranged to keep her silent that means on tuesday the first day of her testimony the watching world could catch only glimpses of her as she left didn't the news used to be like Stormy Daniels testified on Tuesday in a trial against Donald Trump Jr. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah not like not like she waived across the foyer in a city where she wants to perform sexual acts a dream deferred stormy Daniels had created her own bit of storm

A kind of missing a teapot, if you will. That's not the news. Fuck on. Oh, I miss articles like this. I miss that pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah, just facts. Yeah. It's called the lead.

You know, I took adrenaline class at one point. And, like, I feel like none of these people ever did. On Thursday, with your cross-examination resumed, she was obscured by the same dark cloak. Who cares about her? Jesus Christ I this is amazing this is crazy was it just like kind of a nothing burger the trial I think it matters I mean I kind of matter I think it's I don't think it should matter but I think it's if it's been shoved into a historical position where it matters kind of or maybe not maybe it'll get charged no one cares well it still seems like people are trying

to keep him down it doesn't seem like there was a big rush to get him on hush money this took four years to get him on didn't this her lawyer go to jail two years into his campaign three I mean one year I don't know it seems odd the timing seems a bit odd if nothing else even before

Miss Daniels was called to the stand an image of her that purported to be taken on her way to the courthouse had taken off online showing her in a blue dress speckled with a toadstool print a reference to a somewhat pointed passage in her book about Mr. Trump's physiology.

The photo had been doctored to include the mushrooms, but it reflects how much Miss Daniels body. What? What? So she's just, our journalist is just making it, like, she starts a meme, and she's acting like it was actually like something Sturban Daniels did. This was a woman, this is a woman not wanting to do her job, not wanting to find anything out.

She wanted to leave her toilet. She wanted, yeah, she wanted to do. She wrote this whole article in her toilet. What's her name, Vanessa Friedman? She ate She ate into a Mexican food And she ate too much green chalula sauce the night before Because she was

You know I'm out with the girls I said nothing wrong with that But maybe take it easy It's getting older Take it easy with the chalula sauce And you do a number on the back end And she wanted to write

She wrote this whole thing from her iPhone On the toilet Not right I respect to a scam But you know Yeah This article sucks I'm done reading it

Go to hell well we learn nothing the whole shit we learn nothing except for you know I think I came up with a good ghost plan I mean that would be so scary just here that's the crack

that's a ghost I'd be terrified Thank you much for tuning in Thank you I'll repeat it Look you don't like what you heard You feel like we This world's getting you down

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