Kump - Ep. 193 Pardon Me Daddy

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Ray and Lucie discuss the secret events behind the Hunter Biden pardon, the most positive comments on the internet, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Kamp. Hey everybody. Hello, Lucy. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend. Hope you had your family was nestled. by a fire knuzzled in the bosom of your aging

lovely father sweet daddy it's a sweet daddy day Thanksgiving isn't it it's a day for them sweet daddies out there who love to take the little nuzzled their little cherubs oh daddy I'm sorry

I did wrong I'm so sorry I did wrong daddy I won't do it again I'll be a good boy Just give me one more chance And daddy says yes That's a beautiful picture of Thanksgiving Isn't it?

So too many people associated with discord You know They should think of just sitting on their daddy's lap Asking to be forgiven Eating a Crackerjack Daddy I'm sorry I got caught with the barissamas I'm sorry I got caught with the crooked dealings

with my backwards ways I'm sorry let me get please roast me an acorn daddy put it in my mouth so it's a day of forgiveness the day of forgiveness the day of pardon my

phrasing but pardons the day of pardoning another term for Thanksgiving in the actual Native American And I learned this at our Thanksgiving, because I got up, actually. I learned from myself. I got up and I started screaming about how this land was stolen from Indians.

And I started waving around a turkey leg. And I started screaming about how I'm going to do myself in out of respect. And then I told everyone that Thanksgiving actually means. in Wampama day of pardons pardon your Sunday that is that is very interesting it's Wampima is I don't think it's even a tribe I made it up but speaking of Joe Biden our president the great a wise man an aged man a man of a few words understood has part His only living son Hunter Biden

Do you think that's it, do you think that he asked it for it in a sweet way? Do you think that Hunter Biden asked for it in a sweet way? I think Hunter Biden, you know, got himself composed in a Nantucket bathroom. I'm sure the bathrooms in Nantucket are probably, you know, there's probably not the newest bathrooms, probably old bathrooms, some rickety old house that, you know, that George Washington, and, you know, whip the slave in or whatever. You know, they all have those old houses.

And he's trying to, you know, get his lines ready, if you know what I mean. An old rickety bathroom, get his courage up to ask Daddy for one more chance. Oh, Dad, he's wiping his nose. He's checking in the mirror twice, you know? And goes to Daddy, and his father is, you know, just kind of, like, kind of drooling in front. of a football game.

When he gets out of the spotlight, he probably likes to, you know. Do you think maybe he may, I could see him maybe like dressing up, like taking advantage of his father's dementia, maybe dressing up like Bo Biden. Oh, boy. So that he thinks it's, it's Bo Biden asking him for a favor. Daddy, I was in a burn pit. Yeah. Please, do you think he was asking, do you think Bob, do you think he's asking, he might be,

so Bo is asking, like, why don't you pardon my brother Hunter? Yeah. I don't know why I'm from Delaware. I don't want I'm giving them, you know, Georgia accents or whatever. Savannah. Like they're one and age owners. Oh, that. And then Joe Biden would be like, oh, ball.

And, you know. Yeah, I thought you died in a burn pit. Does he remember that his son died in a burn pit? It was it to be reminded. I don't think he died in a burn pit. I think he died from a burn pit. You wouldn't know that by listening to Joe Biden. And I'm just saying, I pray the God my son never dies in, around, or because of a burn pit.

Right. And rest in peace, thank you for your service. Yeah. You know, Dona, don't have at you, the Dominique. We love you. But yeah, whatever, either way, does he have to be reminded of that, is my point. Or is he just go, burn pit baby. That's my...

That's a burn pit baby. Right. And I'm saying this would be This would be obviously very wicked Of Hunter Biden to do This would be stolen valor Taking advantage of your father's dementia To do stolen valor is wrong

You look you're trying to get a pardon anyway You might as well take it up Oh the wickedness up to the wire Yeah You know If I it's like it's kind of crazy to go I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do Keep my wicked ways going

To get the pardon Once you get the pardon It's like a you know It's like it's in the end and jimels was in the last crusade like yeah jump get shot and then he put throw the water on you on your gun wound you know that's what that's the plan right so now here's the thing how do he how does one dress up like bo biden does he have to do he dress up like he's an iraqi soldier yeah i would imagine he get maybe like steals his uniform wow yeah because he i don't think he was in service not the one he was

buried in or whatever but i assume they have more than maybe maybe you have more than one uniform well you i don't you don't get buried in fatigues you don't you do you do you do you You think military men who get buried at Arlington get buried in, like, fatigues? I mean, not fatigues. Like, that camo uniform? But, like, they're dressed blues, you know? Well, they're dressed. Yes, it's very different than, like, the what you'd wear the war.

No one wears their dress blues into the war zone. Oh, right, yeah. So maybe Hunter Biden wears his fatigues. Right. Yeah. Yeah. No, if any, I mean, I assume that Bo Biden, the hero, um, wore that to dinner, um, his dress blues.

But Hunter will wear his His, his, his, is, his, is, his, is, his, is, his, is, his, is, his, his, his, Uh, what's the word for that again? And just, and, um, you know, I, I imagine he does it like, like, while Joe Biden is, like, kind of half asleep. Right. He crawls into bed with him. He crawled, oh, so he went to take a nap. Yeah.

A little, a little pre-a, oh, a post-turkey nap. A little post, yeah, maybe during his post-turkey nap. So, so a man in. Because he must have asked him on Thanksgiving. That's the best time to ask. Sure. Your father for her pardon is on Thanksgiving. Oh, that.

I love this shoe fly pie Let me give you a little taste of this shoe fly pie And he's shuff, if you don't familiar A shoe fly pie is an Amish pie A full of molasses And Joe Biden would love it And Hunter would be feeding him This molasses pie right in his mouth

But most of it's just going right back onto his shirt It's falling down on the carpet Much like the crap It's probably hard for him to chew at this point Much like those mythical crack rocks that a hunter was searching for in the carpet um as he described the shoe fly pie it's kind of it's actually when you look at it it's kind of beautiful it's like it's like a full circle like you you were once a babe searching for crack rocks in the in the cushions but now you're

taking care of me as i as i as i as i as i falls out of my mouth as george lucas would say it rhymes It rhymes. Yes, and so, and then I guess what you're proposing, and I like this idea, is that, you know, this soldier, he dresses up like a soldier of war and gets into bed with his daddy, you know, once he goes for his nap. Yeah. He goes, Dad, why don't you take a nap?

You seem, your jaw seems tired of all this molasses chewing. And he says, oh, okay. And he wheels him. Is Hunter strong enough to hoist him over his shoulder? Like a sack of potatoes I bet he is Because like also Joe Biden Has kind of crumbled over the years

He's crumpled up So he's a little bit He's kind of a small guy now I can carry him around like flour Like a baker's flour sack So he does that Because then you know

We get the chair To the carpet in the living room It's just a hassle So he just hoist them up And brings him to bed And then goes to prepare his Ruse Secret Ruse

Where he dresses like Joe Biden Um Is this a Are we just a fan fiction podcast now? I think so. I think we've become a Joe Biden Fan Fiction podcast.

I mean, I did just occur to me that we're going on this is all one tangent of like What if he pretend to be both? Right. We're not getting to the meat of the Joe Biden. You don't tune into us for breaking news. You come to us for a little flavor.

The Come podcast. Like and subscribe, by the way. It's a little flavor. If you like that shoe flap high, you can like and subscribe. And don't forget we have a Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com.

You get an extra episode every week. If you sign up, it's a great deal. So not as good a deal as Hunter got. I will give you that. So he dresses up. We finished this? He dresses up in his costume of war. And he gets under the covers of his daddy.

Yeah. Did he spoon him? I'm imagining he's spooning him, and he's like kind of like whispers in his ear. Right. He's like, he's like, Daddy, Daddy. He's like, Daddy, Daddy, he's like, Daddy, he's deserve. It's almost over. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, you got, you got to save, you got to save my wife's boyfriend,

aka my brother, Hunter. Yes. Yeah. My wife's boyfriend who slept with my wife. Oh, right, my wife, yeah. My wife's boyfriend. So he's going to get pardoned. Yeah.

And, you know, unconditional pardon. He can basically do whatever he wants now, right? He can do anything. He's pardoned for anything going back to 2014. So everything going back to 2000 and the year of our Lord 14 years.

That's not, I think I put it. extra syllable in there but the point is I'm not sure is that so that covered the laptop I think it does I that covers the laptop I don't think Hunter Biden's got PC going for more than like that they found that in 2016 about right I don't think he had like that PC for you know 10 years you know that's probably like a two year you know he probably had to replace it every couple years because he's you know it's burning it with torches you know oh for sure so I mean that covers everything on that laptop I guess whatever nasty did business he did

All nasty laptop business has been cleared. Wow. I mean, it is, look, did people overstate what was on that laptop? Who knows? I mean, it definitely seems spicy. I don't know if pardons automatically cover everything for the past 10 years. I think they wrote that in. I mean, do you know which one of these?

I did put, I found that link in one of the APs. It was, did you put, it was the second of the links? We have, we don't have it. It's fine. But at first, I was like, what does this cover? I mean, it just covers his conviction for a gun charge and his conviction for tax evasion. I believe he, you know, pleaded no context to the tax evasion. But the statement from, but the one that I put in.

Whatever, don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. It also covers. the previous 10 years but basically he what was this i just pulled up another this one just says what is what is hunter biden's pardon cover i think this might be it so does it say federal gun charges well i screwed that up oh here we go wait wait wait to go back up uh uh the sweeping pardon covers not only hundred biden's convictions in two cases in delaware and california but also any other offenses against the United States,

which he has committed or may have committed or taken pardon during the period from January 1st, 2014 through December 1st, 2024. I mean, that just might be boilerplate. I don't know, boys. That might just be standard procedure. Hey, it's like, hey, can I get pardoned for this tax evasion? Sure, let's just, in case anything else happened in the previous decade. Let's just throw this in.

That's just as far for the course. You know, it would be kind of embarrassing as the president to pardon your son for a bunch of shit. Yeah. Being super specific. You know, it's like, I'm going to pardon him for the guns for all those hookers. And then he just like gets picked up on something else. You almost have to do. I wonder if that's the case.

I mean, no one's ever going to officially say that. But they always do this just in case. Like, if your son is even more embarrassing. See, if you, but if you, if you pardoned Matthew Perry for his codeine, I mean, whatever he did. before he died. Let's just say, but I'll just say he was under, what did he die of? Ketamine.

Kermedos? Maybe he had Kedmen trial and he was convicted. And you overturned that. I mean, would you be that embarrassed if he ended up, you know, with a little sex charge, a little prostitution, solicitation charge? Would you, would the president have egg on his face if he pardoned Matthew Perry?

Hmm. Yeah, I think so. You think you would, okay. Yeah, especially, but like, you know, even worse if Matthew Perry was his little baby boy. Right. No, I'm just saying, like, I don't, so, look, it's possible I guess that's standard then. It's possible.

But I have a feeling they threw in his extra 10, 10, this 10 decade, this 10 year cushion to cover other, you know, potential activities. Yeah. What was he charged with? He was convicted of that with the gun. He basically, with the gun charge, he wanted to buy a gun. And he bought a gun, and he, on the application, he, uh, he, he, he, he, he, he, is a, thing where it says are you addicted to or under the influence of drugs or whatever or you abuse or something like that and he said no but he was but he was a big enthusiast of things like crack

yeah so that's what they got them on uh it doesn't seem i mean like i don't know how they got there technically i mean you know Biden claims that he did this because his sons it was politicized that he's no one looking at the facts we've ever brought this case or convicted them um unless you know we have that actually let's bring that up real quick so i can read his sage words exactly why's that coming up is it is a statement statement from joe biden oh it's on x oh this is uh is your sorority resistance your source yeah all right well no don't don't he was he was like uh he was like posting all of these and just being like this is so cool I didn't know he was...

This is so dope. I did not know he was alive. Today I signed a pardon from my son Hunter from the day at the office. I said, would not interfere with the Justice Department's decision making, but what the hell? And I kept my... What's that word? Can you scroll? He helped me?

And I kept my word even as I have watched my son being selectively and unfairly prosecuted. Without aggravating factors like use in a crime, multiple purchases, or buying a weapon as a straw purchaser, People are almost never brought to trial on felony charges solely for how they filled out a gun form. For those who were late paying their taxes because of serious addictions, but paid them back subsequently with interest and penalties are typically given non-criminal resolutions. Typically, though, are they, but yes, but those same people, are they typically able to secure millions of dollars from foreign governments? Right. Because their dad is the president.

Yeah, right. I don't know. I mean, he has a point. But I mean, you know, there's a different standard for, you know, look, my daddy won't even let me cook eggs. You know? I have to threaten to burn my father's house down just to let him to get him to let me cook some eggs. That's a true story. If you knew the show, if you're a new listener, Cliff notes, my dad wouldn't let me cook eggs.

I threatened to burn his house down. He said, well, you'll go to jail. I said, who cares, you'll be dead. That's our dynamic is years ago. I don't think I actually... This wasn't Thanksgiving. This was years ago. Over your multiple tellings of this,

I don't think I ever asked this. Were you actually able to cook the eggs in the end? No. No. I mean, no. I should have... I guess that makes me the cuck. I didn't cook those eggs.

Those eggs did not go... I didn't get to scramble those little babies. So I don't... I can't really relate to a guy whose dad lets him get, you know, millions of dollars. You know, I can't go. around and say my dad doesn't want me cook eggs can I have some money? No one gives

shit. You know, no one cares about that. No one's looking to court my my ass. The charges in his case came about only after several of my

political opponents in Congress instigated them to attack me and oppose my election. Then a carefully negotiated plea deal agreed to by the Department of Justice unraveled in the courtroom will a number of my political opponents

in Congress taking credit for bringing political pressure on the process had the plea deal held, it would have been a fair resolution of Hunter's cases. Well, maybe the tax case, I guess. I mean, it doesn't cover... Also, like, I don't know if that's really,

like, I don't know if that's really a qualifier that the IRS takes into consideration, usually. Like, for those who were late paying their taxes because of serious addictions like i don't know if the irs is usually like you're like paying your taxes but you know you're you're your crack ads so we're we're gonna let go it's also i'm pretty sure that actually is special treatment like if they well yeah well here's the thing i mean there is a certain level of if you kind of have a lawyer

and you're willing to pay right it's got you got the money he's like it always about the money i've had legal troubles i don't think some random crackhead gets out of like tax evasion I don't think they usually charge random crackheads of tax evasion. It's usually nothing. It's usually not making crazy yet. They don't have a ton of assets. They're not making capital gains typically. But there is an imbalance.

What he's referring to is what the average, I'm an elite, but you know, person of means experience in the Justice Department is, just system is. now I've been in a situation I had a lawyer I've tried to not have a lawyer and the law and the prosecutors will literally tell you like you need to get a lawyer no looking you in the face I mean and if I was like someone who seemed poor not I seem rich or different but I don't know they seem to have a certain empathy when I when I tried to represent myself in some in some I had some um if you ever get a ticket for like speeding or run a red light or something

in a different jurisdiction and then you don't pay it it because becomes a real hassle. It becomes more complicated than just can I pay it. You can't just pay it. Right. You know, I'll pay extra. No. I went upstate somewhere, I forget, or Connecticut, I forget, over some ticket that, you know, because I used to just get a ticket and you go, okay, and you just throw it. And that's just how you dealt with them. And then you go and the prosecutor looked at me, it was a small courtroom. It wasn't, you know, the court of Congress, wherever they try Biden boys. And he looked at me in the eyes and he said,

you should get a lawyer. I'm like, no, I don't have the money. It's fine. I'll pay extra fine. You need a lawyer. Are you telling me if I don't get a lawyer? Like, you know, it's just, I'm convicted, basically. He's like, get a lawyer.

So I took that as to mean, you got to get a lawyer. Which means you have to have money. You can't just be a guy. If you have a guy, they'll do you. unless you can give him some other guy. So the whole idea of this, this whole thing is this is not like the poor get to do this. This is like, this is a perfectly good deal for a rich white man. You know, a man of Orlando and a man should be able to negotiate down his tax evasions.

It's just, it seems a little bit lofty, especially for a Democratic candidate, a little tone deaf, if you ask me. These are the Democrats. They're supposed to, you know, be connected to the people. And I think a lot more people are in the position I'm talking about than this. This is actually, I mean, it feels weird to call that the elite. But yeah, if you can afford a lawyer, you might be elite in this country. Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, lawyers aren't that expensive, but that's how fuck people are.

No, the reason one, if the, no really reasonable person who looks at the facts of Hunter's cases can reach any other conclusion than Hunter was singled out only because he's my son now what about someone who looks at his laptop i'm just saying i don't want to see it i mean what's on there i don't want to re-litigate this it's it's him's it's him with the hookers and guns right yeah and there might be some kind of unraged thing yeah i think the worst things you see on twitter or photoshop right i think so let's hope yeah um but okay this is an interesting case he's making here he's It's kind of like, it's doing the whole, like reverse nepotism, you know. Which one?

Oh, yeah, my son's getting screwed because of my dirty deals. Right. It's like my son's getting screwed because I gave him, I got him a position. He wasn't really qualified for it. Yeah, I mean, no one denies that he worked for Burisma, right, as like an advisor. And that he definitely shouldn't have been. That he was addicted to crack. Yeah, I mean, what is his qualification?

What does he do for a living? Right. I mean, are the Biden is that rich? I know they have to be, because everyone who's a politician is, especially presidential. You know, Obama's worth, what, $100 million or something? Something crazy? Oh, yeah. Speaking fees?

Who's paying that much to hear him speak? You heard him speak for eight years? You wouldn't shut up, Obama. He loved to talk. You give him $100 million? Seems a little cheddar for quip pro who? That's for my entire career. I have followed a simple principle.

Just come once a day. Just tell the American people the truth. They'll be fair-minded. Here's the truth. I believe in a justice system. Sometimes. You know, when it works for me. My entire career, I followed a simple principle.

You don't have to, you don't actually have to molest the trial. You can just smell their hair and fantasize about them later. But my son didn't learn that lesson. But that's a, that's a, you can't think everyone to have that much self-control. I'm able just to enjoy the smell. But that's why I'm president. No one's saying elects Hunter to be president. He's not that exceptional.

I also believe raw politics has infected this process and a syphilis has infected my brain. And it led to a miscarriage of justice. And once I made this decision this weekend, there was no sense of delaying it further. I hope Americans will understand why our father and the president would come to this decision. Well, I get it.

It's your little boy. Yeah. It's a baby boy. I mean, it seems unfair on one level. Would you, I mean, what would you do if your son was, you know, facing this? Let him hang. I'd go for the mat. I'd push further.

Yeah. Just to show, you know, that's a show of strength. Right. It's like, you think you're going to get to me through my son. I'll have my son executed. I literally. This is why we work, I was, yes, thank you. I agree.

I think the move is you go, because, look, Biden has a legacy. And right now it's not great. It's a tainted legacy. You know, he's kind of got dementia, maybe. Sounds like shit. Yeah. They replaced them. Except for like in the last two months when he suddenly, like,

regained all of his, all of his speech abilities. They finally started feeding them his stem cells again, these baby spines. It would have been, now I get, you know, the default position would be, well, I'll just let it all hang out. I'll just unzip my pants and allow, I don't mean that. I mean, just, you know, allow, you know, after a nice meal, people unzipped their pants. It's a meme. It's a cultural meme. After a nice meal, people unzipped their pants?

What kind of disgusting animals are living in this country? I wouldn't unzip my pants after our meal. Well, open their belt. It's like, I don't think people actually do it, but it's kind of like, like, it's something like Al Bundy would do. Oh, undo the bell, okay, that I'm right, you know, it's, it's, don't, I'm not, I'm sorry. Someone who zips their pants after a meal next to me. I'll burn them.

Well, I'm sorry we didn't grow up in a Saturday evening post cartoon like you. Right. Don't you burn my holiday, you fucking pigs. Lucy's not having it. Just in case, you know, if you, if you ever have Thanksgiving dinner with Lucy and you burp some cranberry sauce, are you, uh... How does that even relieve? I don't understand how unzipping your pants even, like, relieves any, any, it doesn't give you extra space, it's just... It can, if you kind of, if you kind of, like, cinched in, I think people who are really, I think people who are kind of, like, more in shape, would you, if you stuff yourself, you don't feel like your pants are close, you know, you're going, when you wouldn't, you know, it's not going to do anything for me.

that being said you know it's like you know i think you feel like a thin guy it might you know it eats a bunch of turkey you know it might push you know his hips are right there with the belt he's not jamming a belt into fat whatever don't get let me start um what's my point what'll be on um Biden Biden um um um Anyway, yeah, you kill your own son So that he can't be used against me You have to re-summit your legacy You have to say, hey, like, you know,

I know you think I'm weak And you think I'm going out like a punk I got this kid who's an albatross And he had sex with my other sons, my hero's son's wife But guess what? And he tried to trick me into thinking he was the ghost of my son Right, he got in the bed with me and tried to whisper in my ear

but guess what he's going to hang my son will i mean if the if the president can the president order a hanging i guess in america it's kind of an american thing that he can't right technically yeah he can't how great would it be if biden just became a fascist in the last month and he just took over that'd be great he said i'm fuck i'm doing it i'm doing it i'm doing it Like, Trump didn't really take office. He just, it just becomes, like, whatever, the cultural revolution. Imagine, imagine, if Biden released, like, an ISIS-style beheading video of Hunter Biden, and that kicked off American fascism. Wow.

Would he do it? Is that more, if you were trying to be a Mao or a, or Mussolini, or, dare I say, a Hitler, there I say. But, but, like, I know Hitler didn't tend to ex-Q people himself. Would Mao ever get his hands dirty? I'm not as familiar with Mao. I know a bit about Mao. I don't think so. They never seem to.

But I feel like that might be a move for him. I mean, imagine a fascist state where the guy is actually an executor. Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of ones where the guy was like, I think Pinochet was a secret police guy originally, right? And Saddam also was like a guy who, like, but I don't think Saddam ever executed people, like, publicly on as a president. What a move that would be. I mean, usually you don't want to do that because it screams to the rest of the world. the U.N. and whatnot. Oh, this is not a civilized country. We have to do something.

We can't. But it's the United States. What are you going to do? No, the country is as big as us ever. Germany economy, but when they did it and no one did anything in the German. I'm just saying Biden could do this. He could, he could bring his son out and say, hey, this is what happens to bad little boys in America, right? this is this is this is daddy's this is daddy's dealings i wouldn't i'm workshop that one yeah daddy's dealings i mean could he do it it's physically i'm starting to i'm starting the the dj the daddy's dealing justice oh daddy's dealing justice that's actually that's fun and also kind of menacing

daddy's dealing we're for the is that like that's their SS is the dd Jay. Yeah. That he's, we're just, there's daddy, dad, there's daddy deaf squads.

There's daddy, there's daddy, uh, there's daddy daycare also. Yeah. Because we also need to provide for the population. Yeah,

I mean, that's just core. I mean, they're not going to go daycare. That's how you get people to comply with a, you know. Yeah.

It's going to be, it's going to be AI daycare, but because the government is giving it to you, no one can charge you with like child endangerment or whatever. It's like, so it is a rope,

it is like a roomba and like a, you know, a screen and like you know it's a YouTube video of like you know who's that guy Kaiju whatever Kai you yeah Kai you and uh and it's probably fine but you know at the end of the day it's the government's doing it so it's what he wants to do and that's how you balance the budget right you take care of hunter hunter becomes a hunted mm-hmm that first one need to get that one yeah think so I'm hunter hunter hunter hunter becomes the hunted

Joe Biden, vampire hunting. So, yeah, that's that would be the move. Joe Biden's Sun Hunter. What do you, yes, son hunter. Joe Biden's son hunter. This is a play on words. Yeah. All right, no, I'm not fake belief.

What is the next move for the Bidens? What they do? What, what, I mean, because this, this, who's their press secretary? The one's always hanging out with the Ted Lassow people? um oh the oh oh who's there who's their pro secretary let's bring her up for a second uh yeah just just google by don't yeah koreen koreen jim perrae koreen jean pierre this woman yeah whatever okay jean pierre this woman this woman who spent months saying he's not gonna pardon anyone why you at do we have like a video of that like a the montage or whatever

that's too much I'll just over and over you're gonna pardon them no you're gonna pardon them I said no you're gonna pardon them answer still no

it's always gonna be no literally what they said yeah so I mean it's not much you can really say anymore it's about actions you can't have the press secretary come out and go hey

we're gonna do we're gonna do a Christmas party no one's gonna believe you and say what you know who you're gonna pardon next who's the worst living serial killer Um, oh, the worst living serial killer.

The BTK killer, is he still alive? Maybe. You're going to pardon the Long Island serial killer? The Lisk? Biden's going to come out and pardon the Lisk. Yeah, he's got a pardoned Dennis Rader. It's still alive, 79. Dennis Rader, the BTK killer, this guy here, very mean looking at, it looks like,

he looks like the dad from, uh, from that 70s show. He does. What's his name? And he's also, of course, Terrence Baderger. Robocop just very minute always thought that guy was very menacing great actor and uh I mean if he's not playing him in a movie what is Hollywood doing Hollywood loves serial killers they got that guy around we know he's still alive because he wrote a letter like asking um the court to forgive Danny Masterson yeah yeah the convicted rapist so I mean not his he needs a win that wasn't a great

look so I mean get that guy in the movie And you'll be a great way to end that movie and being pardoned by Joe Biden. Joe Biden says, I don't give a shit. I'm, if you, fuck me, fuck you. We're letting the BTK kill her out. It's going to be like Ghostbusters. Remember Ghostbusters when like the, whatever is the EPA guy, you know, comes in, you know, I'm shutting it down. You guys are, you guys have a containment system is nuclear reactor, no good.

And they're like, you shouldn't do that. and he shuts it off and all the ghosts go loose. That's going to be Joe Biden with every killer, rapist, crack-addicted gun-gun nut the world's ever seen. What do you think of that for a Coda, a swan song? I mean, I think that would be a good, I mean, if his goal is vengeance, that's good. I am Biden and I am vengeance. I'm like, it's like, who are you?

So much your folks do something with that with that Batman thing. Like, who are you? Like, I'm vengeance. I'm Joe Biden. He's just, I'm, I'm, dry lips. I'm vengeance. I have vengeance. I'm vengeance.

Yeah. I mean, what do you, if he lets the BTK killer, the list killer out, you know, the one to kill those prostitutes and Gilgo. Oh, how would you feel about that? I mean, you worked very closely. That's not for me to talk about. I would not be happy of any serial killer being let loose. I'll make that statement. I don't want to make this about me and the work I did.

The BTK killer, the BTK strangler, the friend of Biden. That could be the next moniker he has. Who else could he let go? What about R. Kelly? I mean, yeah, letting go R. Kelly worse than Hunter Biden? I guess, maybe, honestly, a post-humist kind of pardon for O.J. Simpson. That would be nice. That would be nice, because, I mean, no one's bringing the call back to life. Even though he was founded, even though he was acquitted.

That's a good point. Just don't get a twist of OJ, OJ is a good guy. What do you think of me if he, what if he lets profit, gives Puffy a, a pardon oh wow that would be that would be massive if he gives puffy a pardon does does he end up on puffy's yacht do they make a music video um i i mean is he is he in there in a banana hammock with puff daddy you know i think he what goes to one of those what were they called again grease parties or whatever uh i'm not sure i was i never went but yeah i mean they oil oil down A freak something, right?

Freak-offs. Biden's got to, I mean, he'll definitely at least get a place in the freak-off, right? I imagine if he lets puppy go. Now, how close is he to let him? I mean, if I, see, the news likes to pretend like they're, you know, they're fun. And then, you know, oh, we're harassing the brother. I would just be in a going, wait, wait, wait, he's going to pardon Puffy. He's going to have a pardon R. Kelly.

Asking these questions. Why can I, can I get a credential? can the come podcast get a credential yeah we can we can make you probably make you a fake press thing yeah you can get in there what if he pardoned trump that would be nice wouldn't it that would be an interesting he should have done that as soon as soon as trump got elected today you know what excuse me i'm a pardon you ass because i mean he's not getting fixed anyway he's not going to to jail. Although, you know, they've dropped a little chart, all the stuff, you know, I'm pretty sure.

And now, and then we're taking, it would have taken a sting off of this. I think, you know, it would have made this seem a little more like, what's part in it, you know, it makes it seem, I mean, it would make it seem like it was a little bit more in his control, rather than like, you know, just saying, like, because he has the immunity thing now from the Supreme Court, but he could make it seem like he, he could make it seem like he's being magnanimous. He's right. I mean, they've always had immunity.

oh you mean because he's president yeah what do you mean he has immunity now well the Supreme Court ruled that he had like a potentially has like a pretty broad immunity I think they've always been pretty broad um but yeah I mean they they made it broader for sure so yeah I mean there was there was honestly very little that they ever were going to charge people but like the Trump pushed the boundaries sure but they weren't going to charge people um willingly anyway but yeah I guess I guess you can you kill people now? Can you just shoot a guy in jail?

And I mean, I wonder how much you can push that. Can you just walk around a gun and shoot like your own secret service? If you're the president. You looked at me funny. I don't like it. They always want, why do they get guns? I don't get a gun. I'm afraid.

I don't know. I mean, look, I don't necessarily think that the president should be able to shoot his own secret service. I don't think he should. I'm going to go out, yeah, agree. I do kind of think that a president should be able to stage shootings of himself. Of himself, we mean? To see if the Secret Service. Oh, that's stress test them?

Yeah, would I actually take that bullet, you know? Are they real bullets? Yes. So if they don't, he dies? No, no, if they don't. I mean, it wouldn't be. I imagine this person kind of knows how to, like, kind of evade him, but still make it seem like the bullet might be going towards him. Is he Neo from the Matrix?

Oh, he's saying, oh, the shooter, you mean? Right, the shooter, yeah. So he's the guy from that movie where they shoot around objects. Yeah. With Angelina Jolie. Yes. Okay. He's the shooter from wanted.

Okay. Interesting. And so wouldn't that just end up killing the press? What would that? Isn't that the whole, that's not what you want. You want a guy who's shooting the, shoot around the objects. Well, you want basically an active shooter who's not necessarily. I don't want that.

I don't, I want to make it clear, I don't want to have an active shooter. I mean, if you're the president in this case and you want to stress test your guys, you want an active shooter who's going to be like, you know, shoot, like he's going to make himself seem like a threat, but he's not necessarily going to, but I guess then the active shooter gets shot. I mean, well, you're describing, because I'm pretty sure they have training and they have drills, but you're, I think you're, but they know it's a drill. Right. They know it's a drill. I think you can have surprise drills.

I mean, I think you'd be surprised how much leeway the president has to have surprise drills, you know, to ask for that properly. Hey, Secret Service guy who runs it. Please do a surprise drill. I just think they should do a surprise drill with a couple of surprise bullets. But you want to, you seem to be implying it you want a special right the president has to orchestrate actual shooting of his men. And then maybe he'll also get shot. I mean, it's. Look, it's, it's not obviously not every president is going to want to take advantage of this.

freedom that he has but i think i think it'd be hard you'd be hard pressed to like convict him i i i think you're you you have that right i don't i think it's wild that you want that but i do think you i do think you're right that you have the right i don't think you i can't really see congress convicting you of that there's a drill yeah i got shot in the leg what you want for me president well i'm going to go to jail no i think you'd be fine um Now, going forward, who do you think in retaliation, Trump pardons? Oh, well, I mean, he probably is going to pardon the January 6 people, right? I mean, probably.

But after he's done with that. Maybe. Let's hope he cares enough. It'd be really rude if he didn't. Yeah. I mean, honestly, it would be kind of fucked up. Like, even though I don't, even though I do think, like, they did something wrong. Oh, sure.

It would be kind of fucked up if he didn't pardon them. No, no, no, like, just, just real politic of it. But also, I could see it happening, just selfishly not pardoning them. Right. Yeah. Do you think he does it at day one? Or do you make him wait four years? I mean, he doesn't have to run for the election anyway.

I feel like maybe he does it. Like, I could see him doing it like kind of first month, but like maybe not the first thing he does. No, I mean, I don't, I don't, first thing. Although it would be a message to send. You know what would be another message to send? What? B.K. Killers. I mean, if Biden doesn't get through it first, I don't.

I mean, to be the, I mean, that would be a thing. Because, you know, we got to catch him again. You know, like, it's kind of like, what makes every Batman movie or video game, really, so great? They always let the criminals out of Arkham. Oh, yeah. It's a big plot point in a lot of Batman stories. All the, you know, so Arkham Asylum has a big hole in the wall and they don't walk out of it. And then you got to catch him again.

And that's, that's what, that could be what Trump creates. And then he could have a little, you know, he can spread his legs a little bit. Right. He can get, you know, he can get a little, uh, breathing room. You know what I mean? Sure. He, he, maybe, who, who, who, what? You think is a problem if all these women start getting killed?

I can see, I, I know, I have no problem with that. I, I've just, I'll be a press secretary. I'll be the reporter. you caught you after this has been done um president trump has released all kinds of violent people from their respectful i'm sorry i didn't call on you uh is that calling you lucy there you go ahead president trump has released a lot of violent people from their captivity yes and now a lot of people are getting killed a lot of people are getting raped well we did we haven't had trial yet so you know a lot of people get raped all the time.

A trial for who? Whoever, you know, did these rapes and killings. You know, people, this happened, this is not, we didn't invent these crimes. But you did by letting all of those people out there. That's, that's speculative. And if we did, it's probably good for the economy. Mm-hmm. Right?

How is it good for the economy? Because cops are getting overtime pay, trying to find all these brutal murderers and rapists. And then they spend that money on pools and, and, uh, and their girlfriends and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, addicts people are don't have standing in society we did this on purpose we knew we were doing it actually I mean honestly it would not be the people really even care about getting serial killers typically no one even cares oh yeah there's like a lot back when I was listening to like true a lot of true crime stuff yeah there was uh there was this one quote it was actually kind of crazy by like a police just sometimes police well just like in public like during press

conferences say the craziest shit about things but like but I this may have been like more in private but basically some police officer or police chief who is you know in charge of investigating this one serial killers killings it was all like prostitutes you know sure um who were the victims like he said something like if I saw like if I saw a prostitute on fire I wouldn't I wouldn't piss on her to put her out or something police chief said that yeah yeah I mean But it's just like, I'm just like, especially because, like, I get that they're, they're breaking the law. Yeah. But it's like, are prostitutes usually the ones, like, giving police a lot of trouble?

Maybe they are. No, no, no, no, no, no. That cop was begging prostitutes. Oh, probably, yeah. And then, like, making them, but he wasn't paying. Mm-hmm. He'd be like, you know, give me something on the side because I'm a police chief. Right.

I guarantee it. At best. Yeah. Oh, I would. I mean, that guy's into some, he's got a laptop, if you know what I mean. That being said, people love to, love to shit on things. Right. They love, they love, look, there's nothing more American or human, I guess,

than just having some person to treat like trash. Oh, yeah. Like human trash. I love that. It just really does a lot for your self-esteem. And that's what I'm talking. And so, like, you know. And also.

The best Christmas gift is just pointing to someone whose life is a mess. Right. And laughing. Right. So, I mean, this will probably would be an amazing move for Biden if he let all these serial killers out. Because people could laugh at all these defenseless women getting murdered. Right. Because people were a country of bad people.

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forerunner. I don't know. F-150. Now, back to the women dying. Oh, man. Do you, do we have anything? I did want to take a look at this because you found this. Okay. This is, look, this is a dark spot for America we've been discussing and potentially, you know, darker. But I want show you uh the light because that's how a good recipe works so this is a video i stumbled upon a lot of people find this video inspiring i i got to tell you no matter how you feel about this video but i instinctively looked at the comments it is this video has a more positive i've never seen the internet be so positive as this so this is this might be like this is the most heartfelt look at the joy in it like look at the joy in this video look at the look at the look at the boy's eyes

Before you see before you show you was a look at the joy and his boy's pure joy in his young boy I look at first little for a little look at the hug of the video yeah yeah the young boy yes sir what can I get you let me get chicken yourself wow this is a happy bag right over here man so he's he's given him he's brought a bag of Doritos to a food truck which I didn't know was a thing but that's kind of the gimmick I guess interesting oh that's a lot of chips man I thought it was gonna be mostly air all right so let's do chicken I'm We'll do it my style, okay? We'll give you a chicken.

He's putting chicken in a bag of Doritos. He's making like nachos out of these Doritos. Interesting. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. I mean, honestly, I don't know if it's disgusting. It's dark. And some french fries.

But it could be delicious. I mean, look, you, I love these people, well, first of all, watch it, because you think it's sort of salt on salt on salt and cheese. Watch this. You got fresh tomatoes. tomatoes he's got little zucchini cucumber he's got red onion oh god he's got some kind of goop spicy sauce but yeah spicy he's always the joy in his eyes look how happy everyone is look at the guys in the back oh everyone's everyone's everyone's so joyous I know he's got a big

bundle he's got more cilantro than you didn't that you could put in like and Taco Bell uses in the day he's showing his bag that's a lot of cilantro proper bowl, man. I mean, that's a, look, diet, it's not, you don't just eat with your bounce, by the way, Lucy, right? Do you know this? You eat with your eyes. You eat with your eyes first.

And honestly, it's disgusting, but also I want it. Does that make sense? I mean, don't act like you don't like Doritos. You love Doritos. I love Doritos. The, they're just the perfect MSG delivery system. The salt and delicious MSG and nacho cheese. And this guy shoved a bunch of more shit in that.

Why not? Hey, why not? Anyway, read somebody's comments. The joy on this young man's face is absolutely priceless. It's unreal. The bro took innovative business to a whole another level. I can't argue with that. This whole food truck, I wasn't even sure.

I guess this whole food truck is just you bring him a bag of chips and he'll just shove shit in there. Why not? Young man trusted you and you delivered This is I mean you're not cherry piggin This is our This is You got sure

Find one negative one One negative one On his face Unless you actually love cooking For a living You wouldn't understand This excitement And I'm not even trying to be

condescending But it's like Well it's it's look Do you have to I mean Is this Saviche cooking That's not You know

You have to put things over an oven it's kind of cooking you can do this on top chef find me one negative review i've never seen a more positive comments section it is incredibly it's actually amazing how positive it is this is what inspires community right we just need to give everyone a bag of doritos and shove a bunch of shit in it his giddy happiness their interaction and everyone and everyone waiting with their chosen bags of chips gave me so much joy it's so weird it feels like this this feels like people waiting to be like like have their kids like brought like take my child and bring it and make it like a member of the pilot bureau or whatever you know like like take it away from

me give them a better life it's it's the small moments like this that make the world a better place i hope both of these lovely men have beautiful lives full of joy, love, and love. I mean, I honestly, it's almost, no, look at the reply to that. Because you go, oh, but someone's going to call that out. What's that say? Somebody just wrote Dori nachos.

Dori Nachos. You would think someone would go, hey, you're taking it a bit far. I mean, it's just a bag of chips. But no, the reply is Dori Nachos. This is the most positive thing I've ever seen in my life. Can you find one negative thing? No. I mean, that's baffling on the Internet.

You could pose a picture of a bunny, a little bunny hopping around, and I know find a reason of shit on it. Somebody said, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. It's incredible. This is what we're talking about politics. We're talking about like, oh, we're going to be a fascist state or not a fascist state or, you know, the earned income tax credit or, you know, the Department of Education. This is what people care about.

This is how, like, you know, you go, oh, people, oh, Trump's people aren't educated. No one's a, what? It's so far beyond education. It's about you not understanding the soul of America. It's not about education or intelligence. This is our soul. And no one really understands our soul. Doritos are really our soul.

Yeah. I mean, look at the Doritos. Oh, for sure. The Doritos Taco, the Los Nachos taco, right? Mm-hmm. That was, uh, it sold like, you know, a billion tacos in, like, in two days or some shit. Now, whatever it was. It was a lot.

I watched a documentary on it recently on the Doritos Locos tacos. Doritos is the only thing that can unify this country. You give a, you, you, if Hunter Biden was eating a bag of Doritos, they were just, they were never convicted them. and I don't know why you're laughing I don't know why you're like you seem to be above it like oh no but like I've seen you eat Doritos you love them I do like Doritos they make you happy they're they're great original Doritos what do you think have any trips that are better than that

what you think watching your son graduate from college that's some great thing oh look at my son graduate from college that was first first kiss watching my first kiss oh oh my son i want to watch my son graduate from college and i was first kiss on the same day yeah oh what what a time to be alive no it's nothing how didn't you know what children do either die in a burn pitterly or they embarrass you right you gotta pardon them you're the president and you and i think you'll be remembered foremost is pardoning your weird creep son you know the guy was president of the united states and he's got to worry about his son

your son should not you know you shouldn't if your dad's the president you have to kind of take the back seat in life I'm sorry you don't get to be the you know you have to let your dad shine

you disagree I'm not I'm not some daddy's boy but my my dad ain't my dad ain't get in the White House though my dad got the White House I might let them you know dictate my egg cooking with this this is this boy these two

but it's also like look there's so many comments talking about how this guy's this kid is just glowing with joy right and he's like he's look he's smiling but he's well I don't know if I would consider this unbridled joy I was a bit surprised to look at the boy's face I wouldn't have necessarily thought wow that's the happiest man I've ever seen in my life that man he looks like he just got out of prison and he's like you know and this is a nice thing for him

hey like you know this is uh he gets out of prison and in after 10 years excuse me and you know it's one of those prisons that's kind of in an area it's not just in the middle of woods like some prisons are and he wanders out of prison no one picks him up he isn't that you know isn't no anyone anymore and and he sees his food truck and it's not you know these food trucks doesn't even have a huge line honestly it's not so it's not even like it's like a huge commotion

Yeah, it's one like Not very happy Seem a couple behind Yeah, it's just kind of like we're here But he goes, what's all the fuss about? Right. And he go, well, if you bring the bag of Doritos chips, he'll fill it with goodness

And so he, I guess they gave him a little He had a little money in his pocket. The jail gives you $20, maybe. They give you a little money sometimes, right? Yeah. He goes and buys a bag of Doritos. I mean, they only even seem to exchange money in this video.

Is this guy, it does like a drug deal and like in like the wire where like you you pay one guy and you get the drugs from someone else I feel like he's already paid in this in this situation but yeah I can't be sure uh but yeah it looks like that it looks like he's like well look I haven't eaten an outside it honestly this reminds me of that of that ramen stew that they eat in prison oh right can you find that real quick see if it comes up back when I was watching like you know prison videos a lot prison fights with the

ramen noodles in prison yeah this could be a thing no not robin noodles the ramen the ramen stew look the one I started two brothers

but write two brothers ramen stew because they were like we eat this every day I feel like they were like rich kids in prison or something not in shorts it's not going to mean shorts

you got out of the shorts business is this ramen do with that what is that well that could be uh I guess that could be it this one well that's not quite what I saw but okay well prison log prison ramen because I could attack a couple of noodles that's not what you need all right I'm a noodle soup prison cooking I don't like that they have fake prison uniforms but just skip ahead I just want to show you what this is this looks like today we're

gonna be cooking one of days the favorite there you go see this is this I mean this this is basically this is what they do in prison they make raw you get ramen a bunch of ramen and they should and they put whatever they can on cheese like so they get from the commissary you know so this is uh this is it and it looks like what that guy made if you open I mean it's not quite as good because it's up Doritos I prefer Doritos to ramen yeah I mean look this is fine because it's it's what people are doing to have a little bit of luxury in prison right it's it's don't you see the connection? Don't you see what I'm getting at here? This is this is it. The world is your prison

now, all right? Wait, we're going to have a little, a little prefix. You think we got a little prefix? We're not getting a prefix. We're not getting a tasting menu. Welcome to the prison. Welcome to prison. I mean, I don't know why he bothered, I don't know if we know why he bothered, uh, pardoning a hundred Biden. Still, he's already in prison. Yeah. What's the difference? You get to watch Netflix out here, I guess.

Oh, my God. You know, that's the only thing separating us from prison is Netflix. Doesn't seem like, doesn't seem like, doesn't seem worth it. You get to watch the Jake Paul Mike Tyson fight. This is, honestly, are we, like, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, The, like, the 1980 Soviet Union that we always see, like, depicted, like, Rocky movies or the Americans, like, is that us? We seem to have more stuff. Yeah, I mean, like, there's still, there's more option.

There's more kinds of logs. Just like, just like this Doritos thing, or it's ramen, they keep shoving more stuff on top. Like, oh, I, you know, here, here, give me $5 for an infrared thermometer. Oh, okay, okay, I'm not poor, right? I'm not poor. I went to T-Moo when I got a I got a crock-pot off T-Moo for $8. I'm doing great. How can this be prison?

I got a crock-pot for $8. You really need to get right with the Lord. Because he's coming for vengeance. He's sick of it. God has seen what we've done. with the world and even is it mostly his fault sure but he's he you try telling him that you try telling that to the lord that he did this he doesn't really take accountability no he's going to do is he's going to make a scapegoat and it's us we're the scapegoat for his dirty dealings for his

perisima this is his daddy deals justice yeah and we and so you know basically my only advice said all of you is to go out side to a store get a bag of Doritos pay for it and bring it to a man in a parking lot and just let him fill it with whatever he's got cooking

it's a joy of cooking so um good night America enjoy uh your your leftovers that are still hanging around eat them quick so you don't get wisteria from the from the turkey right yeah good night

Thank you.