Kump - Ep. 197 Let's Invade Canada

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

Ray and Lucie talk about Trump’s plans for Canada,, L.A. fires, bad mothers, and much more Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello, and welcome to cop. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. How are? Big week. It's, uh, Los Angeles is on fire. and I almost was.

You were all, yeah, you were there. The Pacific palisades are burning and our hearts and our prayers. And you guys say, well, that sounds, you know, cheap, well, it's all I have. I don't have a house to give. If I can give my thoughts and prayers for whatever they're worth, which is not much,

because, you know, God's- Why don't you rebuild the trees? The truth, no one, well, you know, I mean, maybe I can plant. I'll buy some seeds, not good ones. not buy Monsanto. See, I'll get some cheap seeds and we can, you know,

we can heal together. But some chia seeds. They like those in L.A. It's big over there. Those, those assaye balls, right? Yeah. You can donate some pokey. I'll donate a little bit of pokey.

Now, that heads up. Don't be spending my money. I was actually, you know, in the Pacific Palisades a mere a couple days ago. And where I was, sitting having a breakfast burrito from air one uh you might you i'd be dead not not not i don't burn down but smoke inhalation perhaps i wouldn't want to be there no and it came like came out nowhere right nobody nobody got a warning about it no well these these santa anna wins which i

didn't realize were uh such a a horrific force of nature see nature everyone wants to you know talk about mother earth mother earth is a cruel a demon, in my opinion. Oh, I want to be one with nature. Well, nature don't want to be one with you, all right? Nature wants you gone. How long are you going to stick up for nature? You know?

We have a term for that kind of behavior when you defend someone who'd rather be banging your friends, right? Who'd rather be making a fool out of you all around town to everyone you. you know, we call that person a cuck, but when nature, you know, nature's, nature's sleeping with your friend. Nature's doing you dirty. I mean, look at this. Nature is disloyal. Nature is a, mother nature is a disloyal ho. You try to start a place where people can come together and have a few berries, have some wheatgrass shots, can have a nice, you know, appreciate a view of the Pacific ocean from their living room and what does nature do it spits in your mouth it spits all over you

it calls you a whore it tells you not today and it lets it takes a backyard fire where someone was probably making some s'mores for their children to enjoy their wealth we give we we give nature entire areas what you know we say you can't live here because nature lives here Right. And the rich. But, you know, but the rich, though, you know, they don't leave their garbage. They put their garbage in other places. You know, they don't leave their snacks lying about. They leave, you know, they treat it responsibly. You know, how are we going to compete in a global marketplace if the rich can't strive? If everything, if the only reward you get for inheriting your dad's money is what is the senior house burn. then what's the point of inheriting that money? Why? I was just, you know, at this point, you're better off just saying, screw you, dad.

You can understand, inheriting money. Oh, it's so easy. You realize it always comes through strings. Parents are always, even parents who don't have money try to get, you know, try to get you to manipulate you. People who inherit money are always dealing with, with, there was a problem, right? Always a problem.

You know? You have to get a, Thanksgiving dinner. You have to, you know, go to some recital for some step kid. You don't even know. This is my step-sister. Let me go over a piano recital. Screw you. It's not worked it. The house is going to burn down anyway in 20 years. Why am I doing, what am I putting the work in? Right. This country's built on inheritance, and inheritances are burning. Also, you know, people who build pools or whatever. But they'll do fine, because it's There's a whole bunch of pools to build.

Oh, yeah. They're going to be booming. I mean, the only people who aren't crying are the people who build houses. Are they the villains? We need a villain here. Now, what causes a backyard fire? Oh, is that what's set off the whole thing? Yeah.

Do we have a, do we have a reason to, you know, is there something that we can look to? Because what's, like, how far is this spread? Do we have a story on the fire? Like, do we have any facts besides? my spurious claims. A combination of low humidity, dry fuels, and shifting winds. Right.

Has heightened the potential for spot fires and rapid expansion. I don't... So basically, so nature's like, well, I didn't bother giving you rain, so now you're screwed. Again, this is this idea that we need to, like, take care

of the earth. The earth's trying to kill us. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of hearing about, like, all these, like, you know, enough. I think every time Every time this happens Yeah We do something back to the earth

Like something worse We give it a little wound Yeah What's your plan? We just we just bulldoze some A National Park Ooh I like this Kill all the birds in a national park

What if we can we just get a drill Can we drill into the earth Here's my plan We drill into the earth Okay And then we have like a tube that goes in and you can show nature or don't do a clear tube

so nature can see what's going inside of it and we just shoved the nastiest shit you've ever seen with this into tube oh yeah just garbage just we get a giant blender we get the people from Vitamix or that blend tech company

remember the bullet blend you know they shove iPads into blenders we'll get that guy to build us the world's biggest blender and we all get together and we just shove our nastiest garbage you know we just take pisses and shits we fucking we shove in just old fast food rappers just banana peels rotten fish you know real nasty shit and we mix it together and we shove into

a blend it and then we shove it into the earth against its will hey mother hey mother earth enjoy that what you're going to do flood another flood now too late how about a flood how about a flood You know, I mean, we really should just, as a very least, we're not going to fix the earth. This idea about global warming, I believe it. I believe the science. I just don't think we're going to do anything about it. So here's what I suggest. We go on our own terms.

We let the earth know, the mother earth, that we're not, we're not, you know, no more wire hangers. That works. Mommy Darius, right? No, or she wouldn't say No more wire hangers Well, hey bitch Here's a wire hanger

And we shove this nasty shit Inside of it And we just shut We just bury nuclear rods We just, you know How about we just take all the diamonds? You know, just whatever We flood

We just steal all the salt What can we get all the honey? Get the honey? Just get it all now. I'm sorry, future generations You're not going to exist. let's burn this mother out yeah that's use it all let's just burn it enough going to mars we've done as much as anything's ever done i i'm not i'm convinced aliens don't exist and we're the best

the universe is ever seen i really i mean i i just believe that i don't think there's any sci-fi you know priest aliens you don't think there's that even if you went even if you went galaxies and galaxies out. You don't think you would ever find someone as advanced as us. I think the most people will find there's a little moss. You know, a rock.

A little mold. You'll find some mold somewhere and you say we found life. Don't need it. All right, where the best has ever been ever will be. And so we'll go out in her own terms. Yeah.

That's my plan. Because I don't need to see our best and brightest burned out. by spiteful mother You know She can't handle being an empty nest Some mother who just wants to fucking watch

You know mother's supposed to love you To nurture you Take care of you And encourage you Even when you hurt her Even when you know When you steal from her to buy drugs It's not supposed to put you in jail

They're supposed to say it's fine I want him to have it Let him have as fun You know enjoy that Poxy Cotton. Oh, I love that boy of mine. Right. Who cares? And some man who's having sex of her says, you know, with someone should, hey, he's my junkie son and I love him. That's what the mother is supposed to say, as she takes questionable dick from some older gentleman

who's willing to put up with her shit. But not this mother. This mother wants it all. This mother wants to, no, I'm, this mother urges a boom. boomer, all right? Every other generation, Mother Earth took care of her, little babies. But now, now all of a sudden, no one wants to quit. No one wants to retire. Yeah. No one wants to let us buy houses.

Oh, we want to buy some houses. Hey, guess what? We're going to burn a bunch. This is the mother gets reborn every generation. This is the boomer Mother Earth. Yeah. Is it a BPD having boomer. mother's that sexual

sexual thing, porn thing? BPDs. Bipolar. Oh, okay. Yeah. By, yeah, bipolar. She's just a pill of a woman. It's a BBL. Anyway, so the Santa Ana winds, God knows where they come from.

They've torn these, this fire up and down the they're in the palisades, parts of Malibu. Can we at least stop the wind? We got to be, we got to have something. I don't know. why we can't suck wind up. I don't understand why we can harness the wind

to make power for us, but we can't shield ourselves from it. All those windmills don't stop the wind at all. We were in years ago. Years back, we were in that, what was that place? Joshua Tree. And on the way there, there's all those windmills. I don't want to emphasize my words this way.

But, you know, they do nothing to stop the wind. Build some windmills. I'm sick of life. anyway what uh what what what is what caused this it's what um why isn't there water to put out the fire all right so here's the timeline the palisades fire started burning around 1030 a m tuesday uh tuesday and has scorched thousands of acres around the beach towns of santa monica and malibu around 630 p m that's what a beautiful i was looking at that pier from across the water look at that pier And that's in danger now

It's all about me So many memories Looking at the pier Noticing the pier Well look at that tent There was a circus at the pier I passed by I'm like what's that big tent

We speculate the circus might be in town Oh that's fun Well here's a circus Mother Art said here's a new circus There's an elephant Just running down the streets It's like gangs in New York Around 630 p.m.

The Eaton fire broke out Okay, so there's different fires. Oh, there's multiple fires. Joined together. Yeah, this is, this is, well, about you're joining together. They're all doing different. They're collaborating.

Yeah, well, they're doing your own thing. Brook out near Pasadena and swelled to more than 10,000 acres. By 10.30 p.m., a smaller blaze named the Hearst Fire had ignited in the San Fernando Valley. Oh, that's the valley, yeah. The famous valley. the cause of all three blazes is still under investigation i've heard there's a backyard fire someone was making smores or something i can't convert i can't confirm the smores uh i made smores recently near a fire what when oh right yeah um that's really i got to say i think it might be worth

worth it yeah no sure it's always worth the risk i mean honestly like live your life yeah no one's stopping no one's looking at for you you might not look at for anyone else have as many yeah Reveal Parties as you want. I would love to have a gender real. I mean, it is the time to have one. Because honestly, things are clamming up around the country. So you better get your gender reveals in. Or though, oh, people are mad about the gender reveals, right?

No, then they're back in action. Tell everyone about your kids' genitals. Do it. What's going on? Why is there no water? Well, different people have different theories. Donald Trump accused Governor Newsom of having some shitty water policies

It was actually kind of heady, honestly It was kind of heady for Trump Like it actually got into the nitty-gritty of policy I love the idea, no, Trump is a smart guy I mean, we cannot, this idea that we're going to like pretend that Trump's a moron When he's like, I was smart, everyone he's ever gone against Except the people, except when it doesn't matter

Oh, you convicted me, well, I'm still president You know, what you want him to do? Well, you want me, oh, what an idiot? He's in jail? Oh, no, he's not in jail, is he? They were all just laughing at him while he's burning us. He's burning us out. So what we got here?

We got, we got, we got, you. Los Angeles County wildfires triggered Iran from President-elect Donald Trump, who blamed Governor Gavin, Gavin Newsom for depriving Southern California of water. Trump today repeated a claim he made in the past that state efforts to, quote, protected a, essentially worthless fish called the smelt have caused pain and hardship in California. What's a smelt? What the, so the smelt.

Honestly, it sounds horrible. This is all to defend some smelt fish. I never heard. Do we have a smelt? Do we have? Oh. This looks disgusting. They're like shitty anchovies.

This looks like something that I'll lower the rings. This looks like something that like Gallum would be eating on a rock. Let these things die. Like shoes off. Are you telling me? you were telling me, Steve Gutenberg's house burned for this? Unbelievable. The Heidi, Heidi and Spencer, you know, Heidi and Spencer from the hills?

I remember that being a thing. I never watched it, but the hills, the Heidi and Spencer, their house, dead, burned. James Woods' house. Burns. And people go, how do you feel about that? Do we have that? People, I see people being snooty about it. James Woods breaks down.

Why were people cheerleading it? I know people don't like him for a couple of different reasons. Why? He's a Republican because he like, he tried to pick up some girl who was maybe 16 years ago. I don't know. Give him a break. I mean, that was the accusations. I don't know.

I love James Woods. I mean, yeah, one day you're swimming in the pool. The next day it's all gone. Yeah. I mean, and people go, I don't know what you want. You want some homeless guy to be playing Lester Diamond in the casino? Is that the world you want to live in? I'd like to see a few movies that don't suck, all right?

I'm sorry sometimes the guy in the movie isn't, doesn't, you know, share your opinions on the spotted leopard. Sometimes they want to drill baby drill or whatever, whatever your differences are. I'd love to drill, by the way. Enough with this. Enough with, like, oh, we got to protect Alaska. We got to, you know, protect the wildlife.

It's all against us. We have to just, you know, we have to like start burning coal again. Coal cars. And never this Tesla bullshit. Coal cars. You want the air to make us sick. I think we need to snuff out Mother Nature a little bit. Bring that smog back.

Right. You know, a deep yellow smog. Choker out. Maybe we just need to get used to it. Maybe we need to live with it for a few generations. Yeah, no, we can... And eventually, like, we'll be able to process smog in our system's no problem. We'll grow garbage gills.

Yeah. It'll be fine. Yeah. And so, yeah, for a little bit of time, some woman's going to be like, oh, my, I don't want to bang you. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with your neck? He's like, bitch, it's a garbage gill. And I can breathe, right now, like, my blood pumps so much more oxygen than yours,

because I can breathe garbage. And I can, I, and that's why you're dating. me because I just won the Olympics. Now, it makes your entire, it makes all of your flesh smell horrible. Yeah, but, but your progeny will survive. I keep an erection.

Show, bring me your perfume men who can't keep it up because they can't get the oxygen inside them pumping properly. I smell like trash and ass dirty shit. Unwiped babies.

you know but i can keep it hard and i can i can pound that post for fucking so such a period of time such a long period of time satisfy your ass that's what i say i may i may i may i may smell like ass but i could i could also put it in your ass that's a that's a garbage guilt guarantee these are these are the strong men created by hard times right right right right All right, yes, yes, correct. You want, you want, you want some, you want, you, you want some CK1, what's some guy who's fucking pecker is all fucking, like, like, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, maybe, maybe you, maybe you bend it and fold it in. It could, it in, it could, and then jiggle it around you, maybe you could have a baby then.

You want a baby, you got to smell it. You got to smell that ass. Anyway. to your point will adapt is the point. All right. Enough with this, enough with these liberal policies of a breathing clean air.

Yeah. No, yeah, you need the, California's, your immune system grows stronger as you inhale. I mean,

aren't a lot of these fires started by homeless people? What do you mean? Just like in trash? I've heard other ones are started by homeless people. Like where? In California.

Yeah, but where, how do the homeless people start them? I don't know. They just, Why wouldn't you? If I was homeless, I would. I guess.

I'm a spiteful man. If I'm a homeless guy, I'm going on the, yeah, let's burn it. What? I don't care if I didn't, like, if I, if I, like, if I, if I, I didn't play the game right. You know, I was dealt the same cards, but I, but I went all in and lost. Well, screw you. I'm burning down Pasadena. That would be an admirable way to be homeless.

Yeah. Just a, just a hobo knapsack in one hand and a torch in the other. Yeah, what they call that a kerchief? Bindle? Bindle. Bindle. A bindle and a bick. All I need is a bindle and a bick. I'll burn that.

I mean, honestly, I'll pretend to be a Marxist or whatever. Right. You know. Oh, the workers unite. It's really. Yeah, you can make up some cause on the back end, like Luigi. Yeah, I just, yeah, exactly. Oh, my back.

I got this garbage gills, whatever. You know? But the reality, I just, fuck you. That's why. Because fuck you. because this is all bullshit and nothing matters and I'm high on crocodile

well we get high on crocodiles and sort of fire in the Hollywood Hills I mean it's just it's a shame I really is I mean honestly it's a usually I'm not I'm not I'm so not affected by this but I'm usually not even kind of affected

but I could it could have been me probably wouldn't have been because I wouldn't have probably gone there if it was so dry. The bad times only come when you leave. Right. Well, the first time I ever went to L.A., the day I left, Kobe Bryant died. The great Kobe Bryant. I don't know.

I don't bring, it's a weird thing to leave, come to a place, and I bring joy when I leave. You might be the Antichrist. You might need to go to Israel or something so the prophecy can unfold. No, I have to leave Israel. you have to go and then like yeah i feel like i feel like i feel like i feel like i'm a force of good like when i leave a place it's like things happen i don't want to be accused in anyway being connected to Kobe Bryant's tragic death i'm just saying um maybe you know maybe i could sell this this power i don't know i don't you know but things don't happen to

things don't happen to new work when you leave well actually yeah who knows i hope not yeah what's that Is someone coming to see you? Doing me dirty? God damn it. Things don't happen when you leave? No, no, no, hello. So thoughts and prayers out to all of you. Yeah, stay safe out there.

By the way, it's a little late in the game. We got to put these sooner. I was so, you know, I keep doing this at the end of the show. Well, I can subscribe the podcast, so I can keep this power under control. you know like it subscribe to it um make you know make it make it make it your your personal banner on your own your wallpaper on your phone tell your wife's listen to it tell your fucking wife just stop being such a bitch do you have control over your house or not are you a man or no yeah you do you can you get it up can you keep your dick hard or do you let your wife listen

just whatever tell her to listen to Jesus Christ I'm sick of playing this game of like I mean people mess with me I try to show my girlfriend yeah exactly your girlfriend if you if you're your wife you actually have a fucking sack he's been maker oh it's just really into it you know what ask if she's into money ask if she's into being fed you know housed warmed protected you know if you if your girlfriend if you if you if you're girlfriend's like I don't know maybe maybe some try someone tries a mugger don't step in you know you're sorry sweetie I'm listening to comp right now

sorry and also we have Patreon patreon.com slash right comp I mean you get an extra episode every week if you sign up and it's a reasonably reasonable price very reasonable price so reasonable I mean it's reasonable it would have been to just use that reservoir to keep the keep the freaking goddamn dirt drop wet

you know dry this out there it's so dry yeah i was walking around a little bit i got so my skin got so dry no wonder this place you know the thing is it's a tinder box it's horrific so chills you to the bone but on the so that's bad that's

the bad for America right now on the good news is we might be getting the baby brother uh is that the correct matter for isn't that uh Trump is talking about a lot of expansion Yeah, he's talking about

He's talking about empire I love this I honestly because this is like the kind of shit Where it's like It's not even inaugurated Yet he's not even technically the president He don't care And he's not talking about like oh I'm gonna

I'm gonna do this to the minimum wage Oh I'm gonna change this tax code I'm gonna invade Canada I'm gonna Greenland I mean he's this guy wants to go to Greenland I didn't even

I had to look at the map to make sure I didn't realize how close Greenland was I knew it wasn't far but it's like it is dirt close yeah dirt close

the only thing is I don't like the idea of it being the 51st state or them having the same rights as us I'm okay with Canadians being our subjects sure yeah okay so you want

I want a Canadian slave. Yeah, that would be great. I'll get you one. I'll get you everything you want, baby. I'll get you everything you want, baby, because of Trump. I feel like Varouk assault over here. This feels like, this feels like the thing where everyone was like, oh, if Trump gets in, it's going to be fascism, he's going to be, like, doing all this terrible stuff, and instead, it's all good. Yeah.

And don't tell me, oh, it is those things, but it's good. Right. It's like, oh, we're going to, like, do something to the, no, we're going to invade Canada. Oh, all right. Yeah, I can't, I can't feel bad. I mean, what are they going to do? Like, fucking sent and, you know, isn't, like, their president of the son of Castro or something? Isn't Trudeau, like, Castro's son?

What? I think there was a whole myth about that. There's a whole theory about that. Um, but we need Greenland. Greenland has all the battery power. the lithium or whatever I guess They have a lot of rare earth minerals Apparently Canada does power a lot of our

Country too Well I mean what is power Really what? I mean is power for battery or is power having a tank That's true It's power having a bunch of guys of guns who are willing to use them And you go oh we have guys of guns Yeah but they're not in uniforms to shut your mouth I would love for Trump to take over Canada

Right and then and then force Justin Trudeau to do blackface on television every night. And now for the Justin Trudeau show. He's like, look at the stars. He has to do like some stupid, like, again. Yeah, like he hates it. He actually does regret doing it in his youth. Yeah, he's a good boy.

He's, uh, you know. He's a, it would be a great humiliation for him. Sure. He'd do it, though. And he'd be great at it. That would be a good tradition to start as we do this. Like, we should choose a national humiliation. Right.

For whatever leader we've usurped. Who's in charge of Greenland? They don't even know. Oh, who knows? Oh, let's see. During a freewheeling news conference at Mar-a-Lago Tuesday, President-elect Trump suggested he would consider using military force to gain control of the Panama Canal.

That's all right. I mean, that's in Panama, right? It's like, how far down is Panama? I mean, that's a little, I feel like that's a little dig at Jimmy Carter. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's like, it's just, and Greenland and economic force to acquire Canada

without invading Canada we're just using money power Catherine Doyle and whatever report a reporter asked Trump whether he could assure the public that he would not use military coercion against Panama or Greenland

as he has floated in recent weeks quote no I can't assure you on either of those too but I can say this that we need them for economic security I'm sold Trump said he later said he would not use military

force against Canada only economic force what does that mean like we'll just pay mercenaries that would really be something Trump said the United States taking control of Canada I think he's made this up during the press conference that would really be something

he just loves thinking about his own idea you get rid of that artificially drawn line and you take a look at what is that looks like And it will also be much better for national security, he added. I guess. Maybe. Isn't it better to have, I mean, I don't know, it makes a difference, but maybe.

He's like coming out, he's like, I don't think I believe in nation states. Yeah. This is, I mean. I mean, I, look, I, I feel like this is in a strange way for him a kind of balance, you know. Sure. Yeah, his first term, it was a lot of him taking shots at Mexico and stuff. Yeah. And now he's going.

He's going the other direction. He's going north. Go after Hawaii. Everyone felt real safe up there, didn't they? Well, tables are turned. You get rid the Canada's Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, said afterward on X, there isn't a snowball chance in hell that Canada would become part of the United States. Well, you're not in power anymore.

That's a very weak metaphor, too, to be using. Very weak. Well, you are a snowball, and this is hell. Yeah. So let's roll the dice, Justin. Oh, man. I mean, this is a lot of fun. During the War of 1812, this is a historical context,

during the War of 1812, presidents of Thomas Jefferson told Philadelphia newspaper editor Thomas Dwayne that the acquisition of Canada this year as far as the neighborhood of Quebec will be a mere matter of marching. Spoiler, it wasn't. Well, all right, thanks for that nerd shit. No one needs your nerd.

nerd shit. We're going to go to take Canada now. We're going to buy Canada for a pack of cigarettes. I mean, what about Greenland? Can we just go to Greenland then? Can we get an apartment in Greenland? Yeah. I'm sick of paying these New York prices and these New York taxes.

Enough. Is Greenland going to have a state income tax? That's why. Or Canada. Can I have a villa in Canada? I would love to have a duchy. How about it get a duchy? What's the duchy like a duchy it's like a duchy it's a duchy it's a what's a what's a what's a mansion

oh like a dukedom yeah dukdom yeah um yeah i would love to be yeah we could be lords of greenland sure we'll be yeah something i don't know we're not gonna be the lords of greenland we're gonna have a little estate in greenland right yeah but we salt burn they didn't run it yeah i don't know what they control, but wasn't that much. I mean, honestly, like, now that he's talking about this stuff, I feel like return, you know, U.S. monarchy is, is

possibility. Maybe he'll be the king forever. Whatever. It's, look, they'll let in the fact. I think it would be, I think it would be more intelligent of him to keep himself the president and maybe make, you know, maybe make

Kanye the king or something. Here's a, no, I'm not, I'm not opposed to that at all. Here's the thing, the closest, I think most people at this point, after Kamala's loss, whatever her name is, would probably agree that, like, one of the strongest potential candidates out there is Gavin Newsom, right? For the Democrats? Oh, yeah. I mean. He was being talked about a lot.

This is like, this is their biggest, this is their, like, their biggest talent waiting in the wings. And he just let an entire city burn down because of a fish. So I don't know if, like, like, you can talk all you want about. like Trump being wrong it's over but let's just get let's get a battery like a cheaper battery i'd love a cheaper battery i'd love to have a battery that like lasts imagine your phone lasts a double amount of time and i don't mean like your phone now when you get your phone like what's an iphone last a day yeah if we invade greenland it can last too that's how nice would that be so if you go if you go on an overnight road trip you don't even have to bring a travel charger that's what i

That's what I like to hear. That's America. Right? That's good. Yeah, that's good. I mean, that's a great way of translating it. Sure. And I'll tell that to all the Greenland children.

Don't you want that for American children? Little rats. Parents are selfish. Getting that lithium mind. Yeah. Now join the compute. I'm going to have to compute for great days. Invade Greenland.

Can I become a Teddy Roosevelt type figure and help invade Greenland? Oh, the Greenland. Greenland ref riders. Yeah. Maybe that's how we build a fortune. A little something for us. We've always wanted the pool. Can we have a pool in Greenland?

It's Greenland cold. Aren't there springs? Like hot springs? That's Iceland. Oh, right. That's geothermic. That's right. You're thinking of Reykjavik.

Outside Reckubik. I don't know. What, what, what, what's, do you have anything you can say against this? I'm trying to be fair-minded. This seems like a great plan. It's not racist because it's against white people. I mean, no, yeah. If anything, it's anti-racist.

Right. I think Tanya Hecy Coates. And who's the guy who's the other book? The anti-racist thing? Oh, Ibermax candy. Sure. I think they're on board with this probably because it is, it's taking from whites. Just on American whites.

Hey, you want to take everything from white people, we can do that. Let's go to Maine, too. I'm just saying. it's bad honestly it's balancing the scales even beyond trump yeah because we're a next part of Mexico way back when sure yeah my time it's all over maybe we'll get Mexico too yeah you know do that I want to be part of this we need if we if we're gonna invade Panama we need a whole straight line down the Panama how far down is Panama I don't even know apparently the canal is very important oh he also wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico to go off of America oh that's

right yeah I don't hate that I don't hate it. I mean, I'm fine with it. I don't know if they're going to call the Gulf of America, but whatever. I don't think we can force them. Maybe we can. I think we can force them to a lot, probably. Believe in yourself.

Believe in America. What, um, what, am I missing anything here? Um, in this renaming? Just the whole thing. I mean, the renaming, the power, evading. The only thing is, I feel. like Trump's coming out with a lot of ideas. Yeah. Right. Like, leading up to

the inauguration, at one point he was talking about having some American, great American fair or something. Ooh. Yeah. The world's fair, but it's America. Right. Yeah, enough for the world. We've done enough for the world. All right? We won World War II for you. We said in the United Nations.

We gave you the Britain Wood system. And we inflated our currency at your cost. But that's, yeah, whatever. we've done enough we saved kuwait we saved iraq enough time to take care of this time for self-care it's time for uh you know no it's a toxic relationship we have with the world they take and they take and we take it's time for america to treat itself you treat yourself you treat yourself get

you have a little muffin enjoy it you had an almond croissant it's delicious you think it's just gonna be like almonds but it's like it's got some kind of almond jelly inside of it's got a sweet marzip filling yeah it's like it's like this creamy almond thing like this seems like a lot more calories i thought it'd be healthier i don't know what you thought that but added almonds even if we didn't put the jelly in we're still add the almonds why are you even here if you're trying to lose weight i'm like i don't know yeah i like coffee we got here we got a little we got a little thing Mexico's president response to Trump's Gulf of America comment

how about you just let us name it what we want it's in our country I bet yeah I hate to be the one to defend this in our country but yes we call what we want while it's in here while it's in there I mean nobody's saying they can't call the Gulf of Mexico

we're probably saying that we'll see what Trump is saying Why is this turning on? Here we go. And where Mexico is really in trouble. Very dangerous place. And we're going to be announcing a future date pretty soon. We're going to change because we do most of the work there, and it's ours.

We're going to be changing. Sort of the opposite of Biden, where he's closing everything up, essentially getting rid of $50 to $60 trillion worth of assets. We're going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, which has a beautiful ring that covers a lot of territory. The Gulf of America, what a beautiful name. And it's appropriate. It's appropriate.

Well, I can't argue with that. It would be interesting if we went to war. But here's the thing. It's like, what I like about it, it's all low impact. But it's all like, no one's pretending. like that we like we're going to go a war of Mexico right? Right. It's like you know it's like so why not like

we lie like we keep Mexico there we all know if we if we cared about the war and drugs for instance and like Mexico with the cartels and all this stuff and please don't assassinate me. I'm just saying if we cared we you don't think we like invade Mexico we invaded Iraq over some like phantom chemical weapons or whatever they were we were

invade we we want it there the way it is right? I mean we can't do anything. I'm just saying there's a lot of dancing around the issue there's a lot of you know like just BS a lot of a lot of nonsense so this is all very much like we're gonna call Mexico we're not gonna we're not gonna

we're not gonna like he's not saying we're gonna invade Mexico and like start burning down trees starting fires and backyard you know with smores he's not saying that so it's the Canada because what is Canada they're gonna do we need a drug buffer we need a place to get drugs yeah that's Mexico

Kind of, were they giving us maple syrup? Let's take it. You know? Oh, man, maple syrup, price of maple syrup. Well, let's think, maple syrup is like, you know, we can make that ourselves and not be, like, hypocrites or, like, have to kind of, like, people want to complain about Mexico. Oh, my God, I know something about junk coming in. Okay, yeah, we'll try, duh. And it's not us.

We're not doing it. But, you know, no one's going to care about maple syrup, so we can just do that ourselves. right pumping it doesn't matter uh what do you what do you what do you have any other ideas like you know maybe maybe we can go

Finland oh um I think that what where should we go I mean maybe Denmark's okay I think we should I honestly I mean could we take

could we could we take france i mean i'm sure we could we did already i mean it's we famously have taken france uh d day of course um could we just could we could we have kept it yes so sure can we do it now i mean i do think uh some of those some uh other countries are already uh trying to do that But, you know, why not? We can get in on it. I'd like to have a little, like, you know, scramble for Europe. Yeah. See what we can get out.

It's like rat race. Yeah. You know, we got the Muslims over here. We got America over here. England will get in on it because they always do. You know, is France in trouble? They have some kind of shit going down, right? A few weeks ago.

Didn't their whole government collapse or something? Oh, there was some kind of no confidence vote, right? I don't know. Who can remember? Pasadena's burning Pasadena Palisades Malibu's in trouble

Rob Calabasas might you know May fall could fall that's where the Kardashians live they also live in Malibu I think How much of our culture will we have left after this Zero point Half only half

A would be authoritarian Afraid of his own people steps down Whatever I'm into reading the news. What else is going on in the world? We have, what's this? Oh, yeah, Facebook recently announced that you can say some more,

they're going to be lifting certain restrictions. You know, they're going to try to, you know, model itself after X a little bit more, be super. They said that? Or, you know, even maybe similar to old Facebook. They're going to have more freedom. of speech, less censorship.

Like, boomer, where's old Facebook? Boomer Facebook, you mean? Like, we're like old, like, old boomer memes that ever got mad at after 2016? Well, you know, it's like they, yeah, it used to be a lot more shit, like, I mean, I've read up places that maybe the Facebook caused, you know, civil war or somethings are in places or like genocides. Yeah. So we're going back there.

Well, look, I mean, nothing's fixed it so far. But what's weird about this is like. The headline says, Facebook lifts restrictions on calling women property and transgender people freaks. And nothing else. It's so specific. Right. Well, I mean, yeah, it's a... That really is the important thing, I guess.

It's like, you know, people need to be able to call transgender free. I mean, what is like, what, what, what... We some of this. Like, the new policy is among a raft. Republican-friendly reforms announced by Mark Zuckerberg on Tuesday alongside abolishing Mehta's fact-checking program and moving its content

moderation team from California to Texas. Mehta also announced Monday that ultimate fighting championship president and Trump ally Dana White will join its board of directors. Oh, that's nice. So that's a... So it's like it's showing the changes

here. So basically it's just, it's it's not profitable. It's more profitable to be racist now. Right. Which is fine. And people will complain about this. People will complain that like, oh, Zuckerberg is just, they're not doing it out of any kind of, they're just selling out.

But that's what you want. Right. Right. I mean, people on the right, you go, oh, you weren't loyal magas. And it's like, whatever the fuck. And it's like, they weren't, they, it wasn't about free speech before or fuck him now. And it's like, no, you want to use capitalism to get what you want. That's the whole game.

That's why Trump's is using capitalism to get Canada. So, I mean, you know, people. People will be fine with this. On the other side, who knows? I mean, honestly, it's just funny because it's like, you know, it would be better to just say, it would almost be better to just say you could say anything now. Just say whatever you want. This is almost like a list of recommendations, you know.

Can I call a woman a skis? Is that loud now? No, but you can have unlimited, unlimited C words. I call her a cuck Many times Okay Can I call myself a cuck Can I can I

Can I I think you could always do that Can I dress Can I cover myself in honey And say I'm a I'm a greasy bear Can I Can I Um

Roleplay as a Furry On Facebook To my like to my other furry friends yes but um but i guess what's the limits is my point right do we have limits what is the point of this is this is the least the most clumsy like neal nod to like whatever like uh free speech is they see Zuckerberg was basically saying like you know uh look we tried we we should went bad in 2016 i'm my paraphrase here uh and then you know and we tried to fix it

but that's worse. So now it's going back to the other thing, which I get. It's fine. There is no answer, I think we're realizing. There's no way you fix it. You might like to have like a world

where like people are equal and free. And maybe you'll get one, but you're not going to make it happen. You can't force anything. If it's in the cards, money-wise, then maybe. If you can make it profitable

to have people be free, then we'll do that again. But for now, you're going to have to at least have a corporate overlord. Right. A corporate sponsor. Like I work for Coca-Cola. I'm Team Coca-Cola. You are? You're sponsored by Coca-Cola?

Well, not yet, but I'm gonna... Don't fuck this up for me. I'm trying to make this... I'm trying to make someone out of our family. All right? We're Team Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. It's a hard word thing to say. Coca-Cola.

I have Team Coca-Cola. Why didn't I say Team Pepsi? Um, and it's it's not going to, you know, you have to, someone's got to sponsor you. You can't just be out there in the wilderness going, you know, oh, like, protect us. No one wants to. Their house is burned. Yeah, I mean, uh, they could, these are elite areas where these houses are burning down. Sure, well, you could, I can't afford it.

You can't afford it. I feel like that they're, they're, they're zesty. You think I'm going to live next to Steve Grumberg? You think I've accomplished that much in my life? It's never going to happen. I'll never, no matter how good I do, I'll never be living next to Steve Gutenberg. I don't care if we're both homeless.

He's going to have a much nicer dumpster. So you don't value the police academy movies like I do. I love, I love Police Academy. I grew up with Police Academy. All right. Short circuit, the first one, he's in that. He's great. the way you the way you pitched me on short circuit yeah on this one line read you were like

this is going to make you want to cry when it when he looks at when what's his name who was in the movie again fisher stevens yes fisher stevens looks down at the trail of oil left by johnny five and he goes he's bleeding you my racist impression but okay you were you are so could you you were like this is just when you see that it's going to be so moving. Right. And it was not... It was not...

But I think even you admit it. But the point is, it's a nostalgia movie for you. You remember how you felt the first time you saw Johnny Five plating. Look, you have to make art where you can... Like, if you grow up watching, you know, short-circuit on HBO, you make art out of that.

This generation is once everything to be made for them. And what does nature do? It burns it down. So whatever. That's crazy. What's this story? change of pace um

so mom this is a different story we're moving off the matter thing mom is puzzled after smelling poop in your home who would be probably I mean I guess I understand like you smell but you have a kid right right she has a kid so why is she so puzzled

but whatever stupid mother puzzled after smelling poop in her home and then she finds her son asleep with something in his hands. And right off the bat, I'm going to say this is a very strange, I mean, the mother was really got out of her way here to put the kid on blast. Yeah. And that's one thing.

But also, it says exclusive. Like, I guess this is people, it's peoplemagines.com. And they're like, they want you to know, no one else has this story with us. No, we got a scoop here. you know this is like this is like knowing 9-11 happened five minutes before anyone else does stay you know two in the people magazine we got the story about the kids sleeping with his own shit so he's sleeping with shit in his hands uh john jonathan jordan scolafino's video was gone viral i mean they have such a clear they include such a clear photo of this kid too his name i mean

so jordan scrofino was living was in her living room when she smelled something foul in her house. She went to see if her two-year-old son, Gio, had gone to the bathroom in his diaper, but discovered her son sleeping on the floor that a diaper on, she started to panic. So, like, what I find interesting here, you know, first of all, I don't know why he's gets 20 million views. The last thing I want to see. But some, but I'm, I'm, we should be assuming it's all above board, everyone just wants to see his diaperless boy who was shit in his hands for the for for for for for reasons for reasons of normal viral video or is this some kind of scummy thing oh man i was reading an article recently about like instagrams should

family instagrams yeah it's all pedophiles watching that yeah this is pedophile but whatever uh besides the point uh i'm worried more about when this when geo is you know like 18 20 22 and it goes to get a job at whatever factory is still around whatever burning a cauldron of steel is infecting the sky in 20 years and you want to get a job let's see your resume

let's look you up online let's Google you oh you're the boy with the shit in his hand I mean why would you like why would you tell the newspaper about this what kind of scumbag mother is this

Jordan Scarfino is a scumbag but mothers are awful this is like the same This is the same level of mothering as Mother Earth. Yeah. This is what Mother Earth is doing. It's telling him, it's showing everyone your shit pose.

The mom continues. This is, honestly, yeah, the shaming of this. Yes, this is such, this is America. This is what we do now. The mom continued to search for the source of the smell, spending 10 minutes roaming the halls and staircase for any signs, but couldn't find anything. I mean, that's how smell works.

Yeah. You just get, yes. Also, it's like, if you have a baby. Yeah. Right? like and do you smell shit ever right what in your first instinct be like probably my baby shit about well she did say she wanted to see if he poop if he shit his diaper yeah but then she didn't like you know but like as you go in his room or you or you found him

without a diaper didn't you smell it worse than before right smells get more intense this is not this is this is this is this is all this just as he was about to she'd give up she knows to poop in her son's hands this is this is fucking disgusting George George's girlfriend was in her living room when she went, but I keep repeating this. What was going through my mind when I saw my son holding the poop? Do I laugh or cry?

Why does he love his poop so much? What am I doing wrong? I don't know, telling the newspaper. Also, it's like, why are you assuming that this is because he loves poop so much? Yeah. Like, why? Why wouldn't you assume maybe he, like,

he's like, he got food poisoning and just collapsed in some kind of feral state? Right. Or something. You sort of feeling, you know, it's some dumb kids. So it's like, you know, he thought he was, like he starts feeling at himself because there's something there. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. He's just confused. They can't be, they can't be trusted. Look at my two-year-old boy, how much he loves his own shit. Yeah. No boy has ever loved shit as much as my boy. I face-time my mom and said, oh, mom, look, what do I do? Scorfino has, she was laughing so hard and said, oh, my gosh, you have.

have to take a video immediately. So I hung up, recorded the video. My mom said it was too funny not to document. What is wrong with you, creeps? This is where's the where's the poop video? I smell poop. Do you almost have pooped his diaper. I come upstairs.

Gio has no diaper on. He's sleeping on the floor. Oh yeah, you just love. I mean, she loves talking about this. This is like a video. I mean, honestly, this is, this feels like if if TikTok was around during the Holocaust. I'm like it smells like poop I look at the diaper

throw in the trash can no poop in it she's like anyways check out my only fan I'll suck anything anything you put in my mouth it's sucked down hard I'm the poop mom

guys I spent 10 minutes looking for this poop on the stairs and like out in the hallway in the bathroom I go where's her husband he's got a flashlight I'm on my phone my flashlight and they keep flashing where's the poop this is I mean what are they going to make

wait he still has it in his hand you didn't take it out of his hands you fucking what the fuck is this this is someone needs to fucking take this kid away from these people what are they doing this is animal behavior this woman is like worse than the person who kills her own kid I mean that

100% I mean someone needs to take this child away The comp shows we have no leverage probably But we're gonna use whatever we have Someone take this kid away from her She probably put the shit there Where are they for? That's probably her shit This woman, Jordan Scarfino put shit in her own kid's hand

And I made a video out of it She's like a YAA novelist Who is this fucking scumbag mother Oh my god Part two I'll start where I left off Um, by the way, no pink eye. So, I needed to get this poop.

Didn't care if I woke him up, needed to get him clean. Oh, you didn't care if you woke him up, cool. Grab that. Mm-hmm. He clenched up, but I got the poop. Um, and was able to, you know, you know, you know, the toddlers, pried her fingers open. I guarantee you she's going to have like a stupid, you know,

a mother's advice show. If she, if you listen to one thing this bitch says, this bitch says. Poor mother says, I swear to God, your kid's going to end up dead. Your kid will end up dead. This is the worst mother I've heard of me in my life. She should have her kids taken away from her. Immediately.

She should be put in jail. She planted shit in her kid's hands. So anyway, got the poop. And as soon as I started, because he's, like, still asleep at this point. I'm trying to, like, wash his hands, and he's literally asleep. And he's like, where am I? Pooh, where am I poo? Anyway, cleaned him up, waiting

back in bed. She's going to kill you. I guarantee this woman has never, will not teach her child how to read. Oh, God. She's just going to keep planting poop in her kids' hands, hoping to go viral off of it. There's no term for this. This is like some kind of

variance of munchausen by proxy. It's the same it's the same things that motivate it, right? Right. But you used to, you just have to poison your kid to get attention like this. Now you can just plant shit in his hands You know that's a great point Right yeah the bar to entry for like you know making a scene Right using your kids

Yeah is much lower Yeah You could just say like oh my kid did this weird thing You always be like oh my son has leukemia No it's fine now you can just You just take one of his turds and shove in his hand And make him read a script This is bizarre

This is so disgusting I hate that I know that the whole tone of this too Is like you know us mothers the things that we deal with. You deal with nothing. You're a burden on society. You're a plague on humanity. You're a plague on your child.

You should be fucking put in a prison. A prison of a death row prison. I'd be honestly, when I saw that that shit was still in that kid's hand, I was like, oh, no. She should be, the state should execute her. The state should try her, convict her, sentence her to death. I was asleep.

I go to get a diaper. and I come back in his room he's sitting up in his bed picking something up I'm like what there's I was like there's no why is this is the worst storytelling Why is the shit always around him?

Right. Do you do you clear Do you bathe him? Why is he always finding shit? Right. Did you shit in his crib? That's where the dad is. The dad's busy taking a big dump

in this fucking kid's crib. So there's plenty of props. There's more. poop um this is the worst storytelling i've ever seen by the way this is like this is this is tedious i'm like i literally i remember open his hands oh i'm like oh my god thank god but he's still like asleep like sitting up like picking some picking this stuff up i'm like he's not picking anything up i literally like i triple checked i'm like i don't i can't deal of this this is this is 20 million views i'll shit in my hands how about that how about i shit in my hands

is that what you want you fucking animals want you want me to shit in my hands and then you'll give me some views i'll i'll i'll i just want a pool i don't care i'll do it i'll eat my shit what if i eat the shit how much for that what if lucy makes a video about finding me eating shit it's called where's the poop it's it's in my stomach how about that can I get a small pool for that I'll just it'll be a tic-tac it'll just be my husband it'll be like one of those AI voices like my husband loves eating shit and it's just me hiding shit in all of your meals is like is it like you hide you like I'm cooking it into a sauce or you're just hiding turds I'm just hiding turds I'm just hiding I'm hiding

is that you hiding a turd in my sandwich yeah if you opened to up a little bit, you'd see it. I think my wife's feeding me shit. Is it my shit or your shit? It's got to be asking me, but I would never... A, little bit of column A, little bit of column B. Weird question, because I would never let you have my shits. I am, I am, I am a man.

I am fully aware of all times or where my shits are. And they'll never get me in your hands. I'll tell you that much. Do you think she reached into her son's own asshole while he was sleeping? He seems like a heavy sleeper. I was a child. I thought like a child. spoke like a child. I lost track of my own shits like a child.

I became a man. My mother told, I couldn't get a job because my mother would put me on blast for eating my own shit. Yeah. This is, this is cold. This is rough. This is a woman who needs to be penalized, addressed. I mean, we're going to send her to the work camps in Canada. Oh, yeah. This is what the work camps of Canada are made for. This is not going to fly in the United States of America and Canada. and Greenland. All right, that's not, this is not going to fly there. Jesus Christ, all right, well, thank you all for tuning in.

Thank you all for supporting the show. Don't forget, we have, you can like you, subscribe, and that will help us, because I'm about to eat my own shit if you don't. So it's probably, probably bad incentive. if they probably want me to want to see that. If you like it to subscribe, I will eat my own shit. Also, Patreon.com slash Ray Comp. We'll see you all soon.

Enjoy. Have a great week. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.