Kump - Ep. 204 March Sadness

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Ray and Lucie talk about the newly declassified JFK documents, March Madness, the Secret Service, Harvard's cheap tuition, and much more.https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week!Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykumpKump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to comp. Hello. Hello, Lucy. How are you today? I've been up all night going over these JFK documents. I am just, I, you know me, I'm a, I'm a big, what they call that? Like a JFK bug. A big grassy knoll buff.

I'm a grassy knoll, I'm a cricket in the grassy knoll. You know, I just, I just love, I don't even care that much about it. I'm not particularly patriotic. But it just, it seems also just kind of like a big ball. I mean, we watch JFK the movie. like a big like extravagant ball. Like you're like you're like a, like a, you're like a, like a, like a swery and all these different characters.

There's the mob. There's the, uh, there's the, uh, you know, guys, uh, who work for the oh and I. Yeah. I don't know what that means. But then when you watch JFK, it's like once and I always owe and I. It's like, what? There's some kind of gay orgy in the middle of it too, right? Yeah.

There's multiple gay orgies. I mean, that movie, uh, I based most of my life on that movie one way or another. so this is a big day for me um do not forget your fallen king do not forget them i so yeah i mean this is uh we're going to get to that in just a second remember while we know while we're here you know why like and subscribe it didn't think anything jf k would have done it it is nothing to you you know like somebody nickels falling through your hands Is that how the expression goes? Like so many nickels that I spit out my mouth

and you forsake me. But no, you like, subscribe, the notification bell. That's how democracy manifests. You know, just notify yourself about all the podcasts, including me. Also, we have Patreon. Patreon.com slash Raycump in extra episode every week.

So there's that. And that's out of the way. There's no time to waste. The JFK, this is something that Trump has been talking about for eight years. Yeah, he's been teasing it. He's been teasing it. He said he was going to do it last term, right? That's right, yeah, along with the UFO stuff.

Right. And also, uh, leprone. He's a great declassifier. Leprecons. What about leprechauns? We just had St. Patty's Day. Can we get a little leprechaun action? I'm not saying that they walk around in green suits and, you know, with pots of gold.

But, you know, they might be chewing through wires. My internet's always shoddy. Maybe we're over a leprechaun in the sewer. Just chewing through a wire, just a small Irishman. Yeah? He's from, where are those, Ted? Kerry? He's from Kerry, the small Irishman who bites through my wires.

I wonder if we have any docs on the Chupacabra. I want to know if the Chupacabra's real. It's not like a Mexican rat It's a like a Mexican rat monster Yeah I like I mean that's my kind of country It makes a rat into a character You know we don't really have

What will we have like Uncle Sam Yeah Uncle Sam Is that their uncle Sam Probably not right Rosie the Rosie de Riveter she was fake too I mean is Trooper Like their patriotic symbol

Or is that just something Do they have it on the flag I don't want to I'm not- I don't think that Mexico has the Chupacabra on the track now. I'm not trying to take a shot at the Chupacabra. I just, I'm just very ignorant. I mean, no, I'm in Mexico. The Chupacabra is their president.

That would be, I mean, honestly, if I, if I, if I believe in the Chupacabra. I don't mean because she's Jewish, Mexico's that weird country that has the Jewish woman as the president randomly. Okay. Jewish people are all over the place. They're thriving. I guess, good for them. Now, what you grew up in the shadow of the JFK mythos, what, you know, we've all, we've all,

we all have different levels of deep dives that we've done. This was, like, for some people, this, back then, they're 9-11, or their, uh, standing rock. Yeah, everybody says they can remember where they were when it happened. Right. them are liars. Do you think the Kanye and Taylor Swift thing counts? Yeah, I remember where I was when that happened. I don't remember where I was when JFK got clipped.

So I guess Kanye wins that round. What is your, like what, if you had to kind of summarize your view of the, there's so many different theories, so many magic bullets and, uh, et cetera, but, you know, where, where are you coming on this? I mean, I, I, I kind of. have been convinced that it was a, that it was a mob job. A mob job.

They made him, said that they made him take a little fish nap with a bullet. Fish nap? You made him take a fish nap with a bullet? Interesting. That's interesting. They gave him cement shoes in the form of a bullet in the head.

I'm going to make some cement shoes straight to a bullet. That's a great. I'm going to. give you cement shoes and the shoes will be inside you that's actually great so what do you what do you think they uh what was what was their motive um well well didn't they kind of didn't they help uh bobby kennedy get elected to or help the get both get or help uh help jfk get elected yeah well the chicago outfit i guess uh sam gene kana got uh basically got you know the rumor i guess you'd call it is

that he handed Kennedy, Chicago. Right. With a bunch of dead people on the voting rolls. That's how they do. I'm getting this. I'm getting all of this from the movie The Irishman, and I don't remember it very well. Yeah.

I mean, at one point, like, Oswald's kicking Kennedy in the head, but he seems like he's old. He's, like, 85. And, like, and his daughter hates him because he just keeps, he just keeps freaking hitting grocery clerks. Every time they yell at her, it's just very... yeah yeah go go see the irishman on netflix and the whole time you're just wondering why didn't they just cast a younger actor

to play the younger robert de Niro what i love about that is scorsese oh yeah and just early and just put his head on at least you just you know photoshop his head on to just and just do it in photoshop i don't care that was atrocious but the thing if you haven't seen the irishman uh it's got a lot it's a mob movie but it's got a lot more jfk assassination material than you think it's three and a half hours or whatever. And they show Howard Hunt, you know, the infamous guy who was involved in that and Mortgagegate.

I think Ed Harris played him in the Oliver Stone Nixon movie. And the way, what was the great about Scorsese is the one contribution he has to the whole JFK thing is like, Howard Hunt had big ears. He's kept fixing on the ears. I guess this is what the guy told him or whatever, the weird guy who said he took half out. I didn't like his ears, right, but what else? he's also

Dumba Hey Dumbo I'm a field agent I'm doing things What so you think the mob So you think he helped him out And then what Like just they betrayed him

Because Bobby Because they went after them They ended up going after them Yeah Bob As a trainee in general He decided to bite the hand That feeds him That seems plausible to me

Like in the past I've basically been I bite the hand that wipes me When people say that like That it was That I mean the other theory The other big theory is basically

That Alan Dulles planned the whole thing Right That's yeah The CIA You know But Alan Dulles specifically was fired Before the assassination Well after the Bay of Pigs

Right Because that was a big There's so much to this What are we? What are we? History boys But yeah The Bay of Pigs was a

failed re-invasion or counter-counter coup against Castro and then we let Kenny left them out to dry because the CIA tried to like you know just basically force his hand on it right usually that works you have been reading the Robert Moses book the power broker right you know but uh a lot of his stuff one thing you can learn in life is just just do stuff just try to jam it through and once you start that don't very few people are going to stop you Kennedy was one of the few guys like, hey, wait, oh, hold up. You got guys in the beach in Cuba. What is?

Don, nah, nah, nah, stop it. Well, we already paid for it, boss? Like, no. You're fine. Have you ever seen any legitimacy to that theory? Have you ever Oh, 100%. I think he was involved.

I think both of them. I mean, that's the most likely thing. I do think that, you know, probably some other, like, you know, like politicians at the time Johnson was probably involved George H.W. Bush was involved. I think Carter might have been involved.

And I don't, I've never read that anywhere, but I like the, I just, I just, I think maybe Carter was like a, like a deep cover agent, Jimmy Carter. Really? Yeah, because everyone hated him, so he must have screwed up something real bad. No one just hates a peanut farmer. But he couldn't get nothing done.

I'm telling you, he probably was involved in that whole, he was probably The whole Maryland-in-Roe thing. You think he was there? I think he was filming. When Jack, you know, everyone knows what I think about what those two dumb brothers did to Maryland. I think Jimmy Carter was playing with his peanuts the whole time. Oh, God, that would be so dirty.

It's filthy. I mean, considering that, like, this guy is famously pious, right? Yeah. Like, the biggest scandal, the biggest sex scandal he ever faced was that in Playboy, he admitted to looking at women with lust in his heart. But imagine if he was there filming while this drug adult Marilyn Monroe is getting plowed by the Kennedy brothers.

That would be so scandalous. I'm going to give you some advice, ladies. I'm going to give you some advice. If you're at the club and a man comes up to you and says, hey, lady, nice rack. That's one thing. And you either like it or not like it, whatever. if a man comes up to you and says well well look at you i feel lust in my heart you're going into

a mass grave there ain't no coming back i mean you that's your mind is text what you want on your tombstone to your mom and that's dark but i mean that jimmy carter is going to get his tonight but uh yeah so i mean but i just don't i mean you can't tell me that maryland row is not involved Right. I mean, what are these documents? Let's see what they actually gave us. Because I got a feeling that, you know, we're about to get a hosed. But let's see.

Let's read some of this. The National Archives on Tuesday released thousands of pages of declassified records related to the assassination of JFK in 1963. The records were posted to the National Archives website. Most of what the government released tonight is not new. In fact, much of it has attracted attention on social media and news reports has long been in the public domain. But what do we mean not new? The whole point was it was new.

I guess this bones is the whole idea that was out breathing them. I lied about that. I didn't read any of these things. I tried reading them. I'm getting older. I can't. They're all squiggly. These documents that they're all like squiggly scribbled.

Oh, yeah. They're all like an awful handwriting. I need like, I need someone to put this on a Kindle for me. I need someone. I can't be like, you know, scrapbooking who took who took a shot of my fallen king you know I can't be like you know using like I'm what am I a calligrapher in reverse no uh yeah this is why like transparency is overrated yeah because it's just like they'll just dump a bunch of shit on you and be like

go ahead sort through it yeah this is your life now more questions as several of the newly released pages detail how the CIA went about tapping telephones in Mexico city. And tapping that ass. Between December 1962 and January 1963 to monitor the communications

of the Soviets and Cubans at their diplomatic facilities, which Kennedy assassin Lee Harvey Oswald visited in the months before the assassination. Okay.

What about what about Maryland? The previously redacted pages spell out specific instructions for CIA operatives on how to wiretap, including the use of

certain chemicals to create markings on telephone devices that could be only that could only be seen by other spies under UV light if I were to learn spy tricks I'll watch Ben Afflex Argo okay I don't need this I need to know who took the Irish without well also is that imagine all the messages are spelled out and they're come they're just dropping ropes read my rope bitch For decades, the CIA has urged the continued secrecy of these details out of fear that they would reveal the methods of the agency's spycraft.

You guys, I mean, this is like, we had the whole Watergate, Churchill, what church hearings or whatever they were after Watergate, where like, they're holding up trank guns and like, admitting to MK Ultra, like, you had your thing. Oh, we don't want people to know that we like that, we like, that fucking, let me, let me, who's that guy? Who's that for a guy? You know, who's a famous foreign actor? Um, like the Rosenbergs or whatever.

No, an actor. Not famous killer. Oh. Whatever. We, that we were tapping, that we were using freaking Jimmy Seveal as an operative. You think Jimmy's the real,

like, in real life, we always think of at James Bond. The real spy is probably Jimmy Seveal. I mean, the guy in England who hosted like double there or whatever it's called over there. And it wasn't doubled there,

but it was like some other English talk show with kids. And he was, you know, he was having a bountiful feast of, of sin. If you know what I mean, Lisa. The material shed new light on U.S. covert activities in Cuba. Under unredacted text of a June 1961 memo on the CIA, sent to Kennedy by aide, Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. This sucks. Yeah. This, let's scroll.

I can't, I mean, more, is any, you see anything here? As U.S.M.C. in Paris, for example, Sager wrote to the CIA has even sought to monopolize contact with certain French political personnel. This is not juicy. The thing is that nobody is ever, you're never going to find a handwritten note from Alan Dulles saying, I killed it, but I'm glad.

I want a paragraph that says, and then we sent Steve to the grassy knoll and said, if we miss up there in the book, in that book building, then you take them out in the grass. And then we put, then we put, uh,

Jimmy over by the fence. So Jimmy, don't, you, you, you, you, you,

you hold the hoogies, but just in case, maybe you come out with a snub nose to the, you know, to the, to the, to the, to the,

to the, take out Jackie or something. I want juice. Dear diary. Yeah. Can't wait to kill Kennedy today. Right. T.

He, he, he, he, he, A. D. is Anthony Davis RFK I mean is there anything here

like this RFK is killed famously killed at the ambassador hotel but you know so then we then we read a peppa pig books to Sirhan Surhan and that triggered his is that MK Ultra switch is that what it says

I can't read this these glasses are not good these aren't reading glasses An intelligence document from 1968 discusses how RFK's assassination, stoked interest in his brother's assassination. Stoked...

What? You know, I'm picturing watching him, like, you know, get, fucking shot next to a shrimp cocktail in the kitchen. I don't know if they was on TV, but whatever. But, you know, you're standing there watching, you're a dishwasher, and you're seeing that happen, you go,

huh, you know, I never really did read the Warren Commission report. I should, I meant to. I should brush up that this is nonsense this is all a big nothing huh is there anything good this is the end rfk killing the jfk is what i'm worried about whatever this is i haven't been this let down since uh the iraq war when the end of it um what else is i mean this is uh i mean they could have at least had the decency to release the the sex tape yeah the sex film yeah the uh this this Super 8, Spielberg shot, Kubrick shot.

Maybe that's the myth. Everyone's like Kubrick's involved in the Kennedy in the moon landing. Maybe he just took out Kennedy. That's the thing. It's like, oh, it's like, we want you to fake this. No, it's just fake this is a Bruder film. That's how good Kubrick was. Kennedy actually died in Arbys.

I mean, what is, like, what is, where do we go from here? Do we, do we have hearings? Do we try to get Jimmy Carter's, like, a wife to, you know, go to jail? Yeah, I mean, who would even be held responsible for it at this point? Rosalind Kennedy? Rosalind Kennedy? She did when they gave... Is that Rosemary?

I don't know. The one who was touching herself, so they gave her electroshock. Yeah, like, there is, you know, this Kennedy's sister who, like, I think you could actually, like, read her diaries and, like, she's, you know, pretty smart like she's not like like she's kind of sexually active but that seems right he's oh i have a crushing a boy so let's just zap her we don't need this i'm gonna take half your brain out i think she's going after some italian boy like you know i don't this this can't be oh politics how they used to be so simple uh speaking of people taking shots and the president Whatever, Hunter Biden.

His secret service detail is being ended, Trump is ending in. Well, he's the, I don't know. Everyone is so, I didn't know that like the kids kept getting secret service. I don't think I knew that either. And I don't, and people seem to want, he's got like 18 people Hunter Biden. Basically, he was on a trip to, well, let's bring this up, I guess. what's the uh where's the uh where's it say he was um hunter yeah uh south africa he was a south africa trump was very upset that he was in south africa

uh he's 18 people seem to really want a secret service like we this is this is myth i always remember seeing that like when you watch the west wing the kids are always trying to dodge the Secret Service and like people seem kind of annoyed by CJ you know the press secretary gets one because someone threatens her at one point right you know Mark the guy from summer school Mark Harmon and CIS and uh the point and she doesn't like having them around but in real life it tells you something no one ever turns down protection no give me 50 agents we know how the rich people know what's coming they know what's out there they know what they're doing and it's not just because hunter's shady

everyone who's who's who's who's close to the reins of power in this country knows what a raw deal is being put out so there's like it's like you know it's more more important in a bank loan is to have fucking 15 armed guys watching your every move absolutely this is this is this is this this is what you this is what they're telling you and and trump is is basically shutting it off this is a yeah i'd be like well i'd be like i can wash my own balls in south africa but apparently hunter biden really he knows that people are coming at you know it's not also he knows that those guys probably like you know they're they're not going to tell anybody if they see you snorting coke they're snorting it with you yeah like it's like what you mean don't tell them when we did this

or we are bullet that lands in you. People of that level of power know that. There is a theory about Kennedy where basically one of the Secret Service, the Secret Service guys got drunk tonight before and they were all just hung over. Oh shit. And one of the guys like accidentally shot him.

Like I think he basically, like they might, that theory might have Oswald's shooting, but in response to like the guy lifts his gun up and just freaking ax on. There was like some ballistic. I could totally see that. That's probably the most likely thing.

It's just that some guy, some clots, some me, some not fat me. He's just running around sweaty. Oh, no. If I have to go to the bathroom, and then you hear a noise and you just go, oh, and you just take the top of his head off. Like, oh, no, no. You imagine the sinking feeling you have, knowing that it's a secret service guy, you just took a shot of your client.

That's amazing You saw a real bad Oh man That's totally So is it wrong that I kind of hope That's what to happen now No I'm nothing No one's bringing them back

So you know yeah I do I hope that's what happens Somebody needs to make like an Oliver Stone style movie That's just a klutz Just have that guy from That Paul Hauser guy from who played Richard Jewel It's happened

And I'm not getting in shape at all and just play a Secret Service agent. I'll be still fat. Oh, so, yeah. So, yeah, I don't know. So what's interesting about this story, what was he, where's this quote? Do you see it here about South Africa and stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's current, this is from Trump.

He is currently vacationing in of all places, South Africa, where the human rights of people has been strenuously questioned. He's currently vacationing, of all places, South Africa, where the human rights, people have been strenuously have questioned. Because of this, South Africa. I mean, look, some days I haven't, some days I don't. I think it's bigger, maybe. These glasses of because of this, South Africa has been taking off our list.

I mean, you can't tell me it's not more entertaining than some guy doing Trump properly. So I don't know. I mean, I watch his essence now. Yeah, the guy's talented, but like, what is the, you know, this is got to be. I have character here. Anyway, what does he say?

He's in South Africa. He's been taking off our list of countries, receiving economic and financial assistance, referring to executive order he signed last month. Oh, just because he's mad because they're taking the land back or taking land from white people in south africa which i don't believe in like reverse what you reverse racism whatever like you know it's like yeah you shouldn't we don't need to be clung land from people that being said well south africa's i mean these south africans

what are they what were they do these just the guys who has maybe they're not maybe they're fighting against apartheid the whole time and fighting against slavery but i just assume these are just Like the, instead of like the Civil War, which is what happened here, too. Everyone just stayed where they were. You would have assumed after apartheid, they were gone home. But they still owned the cornfields, I guess. It makes for bad blood. I'm not going to.

It does seem as the only people he cares about besides Americans, the South Africans and Israelis. Yeah, totally. but also like I don't know what kind of loser would try to assassinate Hunter Biden oh it just seems like a it just seems like you're not really you don't need the A squad being ambitious well I don't think we should encourage anyone to

I don't think you are but yeah I don't I don't want to lay a gauntlet down for anyone I think you'll these people I just don't see what what change could you possibly usher in by killing the crack-addicted son of the demented last president. You're thinking, like, this is their, like, there's some, like, valedictorian at, like, at Yale. You know, I need, I don't have enough, like,

extracurriculars or whatever to, like, you know, I need more clubs and more, more things to, you know, round out my resume, like, you know, maybe if I did this. No, it's more, it's more like, why would the guy go on Jerry Springer and, like, say that, you know, his mother was a baby, is a hooker. It's like, why would, why would I, this is not, we're not getting like some guy,

there's not Leon from the professional. Not John Renault. It would be like a slob. Yeah, I guess so. Why were the world's best assassin? I'm like, not what this is. Also, also, I didn't even realize that Biden had a daughter. I didn't, I've never heard of Ashley Biden before this.

Wait, isn't that just, Hunter's wife Is it? Oh, is it? Oh, no, you're right. It's a daughter. Or is that, is that Bo's wife who Hunter also

filleted or whatever. Oh, that's right. Yeah, this is the this could be the daughter-in-law. No, no, it says his children. Maybe she's a cousin from California. I don't care. Well, maybe they had sex to. So, yeah, I don't know.

I mean, Do you think that the secret service protection should be weaponized as a president? Like, if you're going to do all those other stuff, do you think this, do you think this is like par for the course now or is this off limits? Well, I don't think that if you're weaponized in what sense, like I don't think you should be allowed to use the Secret Service to murder a political enemy. No, no, I've been more like, you know, he's cutting their protection theoretically early. I get me out. They're out of office. I don't know how long.

I mean, this is the movie Garden Tess? Look, I'll honestly. Of all the things that he's done, this is probably one of the ones that I'm less outraged about just because I do think the Biden family can afford security. Stay in Delaware. How about this? How about you stay in Delaware? I mean, why does the presidency work anymore?

It's like there's no sense of service in this country. There's no sense of duty. It's like, I'm the president, but I still want to go to like, you know, Thailand every year. Yeah. And I think maybe maybe save the taxpayers a few. few bits right you know maybe don't maybe only go the to sri lanka three times a year i don't i think it's just you know doesn't delaware have like a nice uh davin busters oh yeah i'm sure they do and i'm sure they have some refreshments yeah we don't need we don't need we don't need to

put an umbrella in your drink i think there should be one guy for the president because all you need you see one guy to jump in there and i don't mean just jump on them but i mean just grab them like Jack Bauer from 24 you're telling me he Trump wouldn't be better off just having that guy instead of that fat Melissa McCarthy who like fell on him when he got shot like actually have like you know like a real top of line guy who's just ready to roam to the ground

and like and like and start shooting and like you know and oh my god he just he's killed six people no he shot one woman six times she wasn't involved it doesn't matter though but it's still deterrent yeah we just don't point to camera in that direction We don't see who he hits But someone, you know

With a little, I could do the job Oh, but yeah, but yeah This is the one time Yeah, who's getting a bullet through me? I just could show the biggest freaking cannon Of a bully you've seen A whole size of Ohio in my chest But no, yeah, whatever.

I mean, I don't, I think we're just spending too much money in general on Secret Service On, on planes. So whatever. I agree. Yeah, they can afford to hire some ex-Missad to watch their house. Yeah. And, you know, I don't think that anyone's going to, I really don't think anyone's going to get to the Bidens at this point.

You think they're bulletproof? I think they're bulletproof. I think that Biden's brain is so decomposed. Interesting. That a bullet can't actually hurt it. Right, it is 100 Bidings. Oh, wait, did they, did he end it? Did he not end it for Joe Biden, too?

No, I don't, I think that would be a bigger story. I mean, he wants to, I'm sure. But, I mean, like, it would be a little bit of a, I think we, I think we, we ever, we can accept the ex-presidents having Secret Service. No one wants to see an old man who used to be the president, you know, just like beating the dead up with sticks. You need to have a few guys. I'm not saying it to the eight team, you know, it might have gotten a few dishonorable discharges in the mix, whatever. They might have a few, you know, uh, you know. the dewey's on their on their jacket but yeah this is this is whatever I mean

these are rich people's problems Hunter Biden's got rich what's what's what's the expression rich kid problems first world problems something like I don't know Coke whatever uh moving on this is an interesting story Harvard is going to make tuition free for more students 200 grand 200 well that's if you make less than 200 grand right or your family makes more less than 20

if your family right so if you you know if you're if you're if you're a trad wife or you're a what's that guy a chud a chad a chad? Yeah if you're a chad of a man your wife just does dishes all day because you just won't stop having little plates of toast and cupcakes

my wife is always having a tea party every three hours I like those mini cupcakes, and my wife knows this. I say, go to Costco, get me trades those mini cupcakes, and I just, I, and I, I'll just kind of call out, like, mini cupcakes while I'm watching, like, Stephen Universe or, or, uh, or, uh, Hill Street Blues. And, and one thing that my wife, get me mini cupcakes. And one thing that I have to do where you get very angry is, is put the mini cupcakes

in the oven and then take them out. Right. As if they're fresh out of the oven. Yeah. Otherwise, the illusion is shattered. Like, it is nice having them warm, right? I'm not like a, I'm not one, like, a cat who, like, you know, when you leave the house, I think you're dead. You know, like, I understand.

It's not, you're not tricking me that much, but it's nice to have it come out and be warm. And, yeah, I do fantasize that they were baked fresh just for me. Is that so wrong? Do I not deserve that? I think you do, yeah. I deserve a lot, and I'll pay for my sins. But the lower income people may not be paying so much for Harvard. How about that?

So, yeah, this is after, I guess, affirmative action was deemed a liar's game by the Supreme Court. They said you're playing a liar's game with this affirmative action, and you got to stop it. And so now they're doing this. So I guess, like, they want more minorities in the mix, and they think they can cast a net with having. cheaper to no tuition so if you make your parents make less than 200 grand a year

they will not have to pay for you and get rejected from Harvard because it's not going to let you in there's like me three people get in for this price right it's no one no one wants more

they want diversity but they don't want this kind of diversity they don't want like they want people who like you know check a bunch of box It doesn't happen to be. They don't want, like me, when I was in college, who just were just sitting in his, you know, car during math class

and just try to fix his, you know, the cut in his thumb. Back when I had this scar, I cut my thumb open at camp one time, and I had this scar for a year. It's healed now, but, like, I would just pick at it because I didn't want to go to class. You think that's why you didn't get into Harvard? I don't know what it has to do with money. But, yeah, I couldn't afford Harvard. And I feel like if it was free, I would have gone.

I feel like if Harvard was free, I would have gone and just tried to, like, do film studies and failed because, like, I didn't, you know, do my homework. What, uh, I mean, the Ivy League is supposed to be, how about this? If they really want diversity, if Harvard really wants diversity, shut down. Just shut down. that's the thing just shut down all the legacy ivy league school yeah what makes us not diverse quote unquote because i mean the people the college doesn't change who's who's who's who's who's bumping who's knocking boots and who's popping out right right doesn't change demographics the diversities who's in the how about we just get rid of the gates of power that the ivy league

creates oh my how about brown brothers haremont has to recruit us suffolk community college for for change how about they got to recruit out of pace you know no more Yale no more skull and bones right you know the CIA has to like go university of Phoenix and make and try to develop an app with them

to recruit people because they can no longer you know go to frigging Hartford Connecticut or whatever the hell New Haven wherever Yale is that's a great point I mean like yeah these these institutions

kind of exist right to favor the elite. To mold you. That's why they, I mean, even if you are kind of like a nerdy kid. Right. There's actually kind of a great book about this called I am Charlotte Simmons, but Tom Wolfe. That's about like the kind of like the two sides of an institution like Harvard where it's like, yeah, you could be like a nerdy kid and do really well in school and be from a poor area and get a scholarship to Harvard. But you'll still never really be part of that club.

Right. It doesn't exist to serve you. It's like the saltburn thing, but instead, but like they don't even let you come to the house and suck on the, on the toilet that he was sitting on. Right? That's what happened in Saltburn. He was, his friend who invited him to stay at the mansion in England, he like, after he went to the bathroom, we sucked on the toilet. Right? Right.

Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Or the shower. Yeah. Do you remember this? Yes, I do remember this. Yeah, he was sucking up all of his bath water. bath water right they don't let you do that's a myth you think you i don't got to be part of the

upper crust but they'll let me suck the bathwater right i just want to do the thing in saltburn where i just suck a rich guy's bathwater out of the drain i don't need to degree or you know at all or maybe i definitely don't need to be like you know at some investment bank just let me suck some uh suck a stream of of uh of jacobelardi right somebody just suck his stream

you know I just realized I liked that movie but was it just calling poor people parasites maybe and like who's to say they aren't I mean

I was poor but I've sucked on that yeah why not you think like look you think for a second you know everything else is nicer right

like the bed's nicer to my bed at home the eggs are nicer you know the the arm war fabulous maybe this kid's bath water is just like it's just top of the line

hydrates you like like when you even drink aloe vera water or whatever the aloe drink yeah it's like that but no it's just it's just scum rich people's pipes are old Oh man But yeah

What do you think Well who's the Is Harvard the worst Perpetrator of this class warfare Yeah Harvard Yale Right

Yeah what What are the other one But I don't know But yeah That whole Ivy League system I think everyone should have to go The Juilliard And like do ballerina shit

I think if you want to get like And then you can go Like everything real Should be in the graduate schools everyone should have to become like a dancer That's my plan How about that for diversity You make everyone dance

And then we get a little dance And not feel weird about it You don't think it You don't think it'd be harder For people to hate each other If you're all like, you know Doing the electric slide At some kind of race riot

You know Imagine Charlottesville But instead of like torches They're just you know They're doing the cha-cha slide I just think I think people would just find ways to connect Yeah I mean I think that if everybody was a ballerina or a dance you're That's a male ballerina I never knew that

Wow so a dance you're yeah what language is that I think French doesn't make any all right Dan what so this you are a ballerina and you are a dance you are you just combine the words dance and you yeah kind of man gets a short change it seems like some combination between the word dance and connoisseur maybe ballerine is a much nicer word yes but you know it definitely communicates more like the image you want right i'd rather communicate uh strength you know moral fortitude but that's just me so i mean i really it seems to me that like you know we put too much stock

you think you're getting a better education at Harvard and you get at the University of Phoenix or you're getting at like you know at some community college next to a dairy queen I don't think so I wanted a community college for years it was fine no I can't compare it to Harvard

but I've listened to the teaching company those great courses and like they're my education was just as good and those are the best people out there you tell me the teaching company and hire people from Harvard you know they do they say they were i was at harvard and they're not that great they're fine they're

just some lady you think you're gonna go there and like learn from obi one canobi you think you're gonna like learn the inner secret it's you're the inner secret you know what like what's the word they always use a forbidden knowledge not forbidden knowledge or hidden knowledge right esoteric esoteric knowledge is their dad's rich right and and you know their dad's dad is rich and you get to study poetry and then sexually blackmail politicians later in life. That's your grail.

Welcome to Harvard. Have you met Gary? He's really into poetry and he wants to talk to you. Hey Gary. Gary works for the Air America. Or whatever those stupid things are. Those stupid CIA fronts that will shut down now, I guess. whatever um have you ever tried to take any of harvard's like uh free courses i've tried to take

people's wallet to harvard um and i paid the price you know those guys are actually you know you think they're all nerds but a lot of them they're not nerds that's the thing you're just rich kids and like some of them are very athletic and they don't take shit they don't they don't view you as a person so they'll hurt you they'll keep hurting you on the ground stomping you it's just you think there's gentle you think it's like it's the archduke or queensberry rules or whatever you know i'm like put your fists up but they'll just jump you wow you got stomped by arford kids six guys wow they're a bit tall they're all tall than me rich people tend to be tall not all of them but i mean a lot of them i mean you know

because they find a tall woman to like to have to make babies with right and they keep doing that right it's like all these weird slub guys a lot you know and then they go well let's get her let's get Maria Schreiber in the mix. Let's get you know, let's get Arnold Schwarzenegger to give us some babies. Right. They had their own TV. They want to breed with stallions. They want to breed with Austrian stallions. That's their

that's what they want. The people who have like, the people and I'm just labeling the Kennedys and Harvard is one thing, which it is, right? Is there anything more indicative of Harvard than JFK? So the Kennedy fell. Look at the Kennedy, Maria Schroft.

They got the Schwarzenegger in the mix you think those same people want to like teach poor people how to read Proust no they want to take this Austrian maniac who I love and they want and they want to they want to turn them to a stud horse to give them you know a viable candidate finally it's been 30 years since they had a viable candidate the candidates are coming back I think the Kennedies might come back on the heels of this if I was a candidate I would I would totally use this not on the harbors on on you know the documents thing right right but whatever anyway maybe they'll do a thing like with the oh shit is a Schwarzenegger is that kind of a Schwarzenegger super baby

gonna be our president in the future i mean he's on white lotus right that Patrick Schwarzenegger kid oh yeah they act they're their their fan what you what did you think was gonna be a baker do these kids are gonna like you know working the sewer do you think you were You know, oh, I'd like a, I'd like a cronaut, please, from the bakery, from this fancy bakery. Oh, you're dad's own Schwarzenegger and you're serving me a cronaut. Never going to happen, all right. He's a pampered television boy, as he should be. You think that Kennedy's paid to have some guy hand you a cronut?

They pay top dollar, you know, for, for results. So, good job. Honestly, I think that if you, if you became. came when you'd be the best professor at Harvard. I need, I, look, there's that movie. You're literally the kind of personality that the dead poet society was written about, you know? Well, there's that movie more aptly, I feel like, about me. Yeah, you can think about dead poet society, me with a bunch of young men, all these, like,

you know, good looking, I guess, young men who are of, like, prospects, and I'm like, and they're listening to me about life. I'm like, you know, and one time I filed my tooth down in a truck window, a truck mirror, with a metal nail file because it broke off while I was working in the potato bread warehouse. And they're like, interesting. It's very, writing in their little notebooks.

No, they're going to have, I don't, I, but it's more, it's more close to another film with honors, which is a film where Brendan Fraser and Joe Pesci, where Joe Pesci is a homeless man who lives at Harvard. And he basically blackmailed Brendan Fraser by like taking his thesis and and Brendan Fraser's thesis and that is something about

how we should like annihilate homeless people or something yeah he were yeah I mean right he he's the tank I don't know what you call those people but like I mean look he's ahead of his time back then it seemed crazy now it's like well you that's extreme but we did we didn't do something there's too many we got we got help people I don't know his idea was the what like put them into some of the Mexico yeah yeah I forget what he said but it was just something like it is very like stereotypical like why we shouldn't help the poor right why why i'm a why i hate people and uh and joe pesci's a homeless man with a heart of gold that'd be like me except like there'll be no life lessons i'll just be stealing people's like theses and trying to publish them

as myself but i never take a shower wow i'm just steving i'm trying i'm trying to get one big idea that's that's very sleazy that's not a bad idea honestly it is sleazy i agree it's very sleazy of me. But I really do feel like, I mean, because in this movie, he's just trying to get like spaghetti from Brendan Fraser, right? There's like multiple scenes where he hands him and plays spaghetti. And he puts him in a van in like in the winter. Honestly, that might be the most morally strange film I've ever seen.

Right. Because like they set up Brendan Fraser to be this kind of callous young, a young man of privilege. Right. Right. And then the way his mind gets changed and he meets like Joe Pesci and Joe Pashy is a homeless guy who's happy being homeless basically right like it's like which is you know if that's the lesson we want to learn well he doesn't seem to like I guess he takes a few belts now in there but he doesn't

seem like a big drunk or drug addict yeah he's just he's just in for the love of the game right he's just in because he thinks the game's rigged he's more of a drifter than an actual home yeah he's like he's a clobo who's lazy yeah he just stays in the heart the furnace room in the harvard but he still follows the hobo code right me I don't have a hobo code I'll take everything you you. I'll take your whole life. But I love to also be, like, a bad teacher at Harvard, but, like, my, my, like, after class, you know, after hours, I use my position to, like, steal from them. That's actually, that's an interesting movie.

That's what we need. We need teachers. Like, that's the, that's how you get back. I'm not, like, a communist. I really am not. I believe in capitalism and the market and, uh, all that. I do. But I do think that, you know, the people.

got kind of from time to time take a little bad you know you can't be a punk you know you got you you know and you got you you know and you got back and forth so teachers and they're all winding now right teachers are all winding by the Department of Education and how um they don't have jobs and that they don't have health care and that their mom died oh they always complain about stuff these teachers so how about we put them to work stealing from the science of wealth and power stealing ideas yeah imagine publishing a paper that like you know you had john nash maybe with a mind you took his thing i didn't me trying to steal his thing like some mathematician's thing i'm just i just copy it like can you like can you do like whatever

can you factor it i'm like i don't know i barely know what that means i don't know what it means i i've heard the word factor can you i mean like you shouldn't imagine I'm trying to have a trial how quickly that would go if I try to steal an idea. I mean, if you timed it well and then, you know, it was around the time he was going insane. Right. You might be able to get away with it. What's a good? This guy is crazy.

He couldn't have come up with this. What do you think is a valuable idea I could steal from someone else? Like, what would they have? Like the next PayPal? AI. You should steal AI. I just got a baseball bat. and we're going to bring in the class and it's like get up on the get up on your

stand up on your desks that's they didn't in the dead poets society right stand up on your desk throw your books away stand up on your desk and then the first guy uh I hit him in the in the shin with a baseball bat this is how our things are going get me stock tips I want stock tips from your dad I'm not playing I'm not playing around here about that and just seeing the kid after you after you hit his knee with the bat yeah right on the knee just watching him collapse right and the desk follow oh he was flying three feet oh yeah you know the rest you would fall so awkwardly if somebody somebody just turned a baseball bat to your knee while you were standing on a day oh he's screaming it's no one likes getting hit in the knee

with a bat you but hopefully you only got to do it once these kids these kids you know they're not I don't think they're like, you're not rushing kids. I got to take it. It's all he's going to be like, I could take it. No, you hit them one's in the knee. And then we discuss, we discuss yield, bond yield or whatever. I just want to make a little money. What's wrong about that?

You have everything. You have everything. These kids probably drive, you know, Porsches and stuff. Fancy cars. They drink only the finest wine. They have sex with exquisite women. and so about him on the knee a couple of times. Take what's mine.

You know? We just got to take what's yours sometimes. No one looks at the old West and goes, oh, we did something bad there. I mean, like, they tell about the Indian stuff. But that wasn't, that was the only part of it. We're all, you know, everyone's shooting each other and, but no one's ever like, can you believe that in this country, you know, we used to have people shooting women and dusty towns or whatever.

No one ever complains about the old West. It's just acceptable. it people like it right even like liberals and I'm woken no one's ever calling for like cattle boards I mean again it's the Indian thing but yeah I mean bank robbers yeah we love Dillinger so I mean one day they'll be talking about me the mythic professor who who steal I I steal from the rich and and and and get caught like Robin Hood when I say words March Madness What does Lucy think?

I know it's a basketball bracket event. It just started the other day. But I don't really have any like March Madness memory. Every year I think I should do something with brackets. And you're probably in a similar boat. You know, some of you might be, you know, I like basketball, but I don't watch. I watched the last couple games.

I know what the deal is. And a lot of you don't know anything about it. You know, that's fine. I can't fill out of a bracket. We, it's too much of a thing, especially nowadays, to have just for basketball. March badness should be for every, and I feel like it is for everyone, right? Because, you know, we'll live, like, you know, whether you watch basketball or not, we're living in the madness. Like this, March madness is, is every day, right?

Like, I'm, I'm, you know, it's homeless. people starting, you know, an insurance company. It's, it's, you know, what else is going on out there? You see the crazy things are happening. I think we should make new brackets. I think there should be a March Madness bracket for the rest of us. That's a great idea. And, you know, and someone, you know, who knows how to do brackets maybe, but we'll make

our own. And, yeah, we're late. But next week we'll start with the bracket. We'll figure out how to make this work. But I want a bracket for like. how I'm going to die who's going to rob me who gets maimed at the Olympics

well there's no Olympics now what's what's something that could happen an event which shock will impoverish us what will make us lose everything yes me like me and you yeah yeah probably just just gambling on horses

horse racing that's just our little piccadillo So, yeah, I mean, I don't know how to make it. I feel like maybe what, like, how would you, if you could be on the basketball court for one play, what would you, what would your move be? Well, look, when you're small, you know, one thing I've seen people try to do when they're smaller it's kind of weave you know around the legs of the bigger players right um but i think that i would just uh i don't know i just bring a gun out there that's fair i would try to like fall in the

way where where you go four feet in the air and you fall on your back i would try to do that next one of the like a very rich player well this is college though right this is exactly what my life would be I would do that at like a Gonzaga game. I would try to do a slip and fall at Gunzano. I mean, Gonzaga's got money. Well, now they can go on those apps. They can make some money on the influencer apps, right? I'm trying to make money.

I'm trying to do a slip and fall here. I'm trying to, maybe that should, maybe March Madden should be us trying to do slip and falls at different arenas. They got, these colleges have endowments, and they're not giving it to you. And no one's paying down your student debt. Maybe you got to take things in your own hands. Maybe you got, you know, get a, quote, unquote, doctor on your side who can, you know, who maybe he bets on the horses and he'll write you some notes.

He'll say, oh, no, he definitely fell due to the negligence and he broke his cossacks. You know, pay this man. Pay this man his money. I'd love to. Really, it's more of March sadness, I guess. This is just March sadness. I wish it was warmer out. Honestly, we might actually, since, since, you know,

we've both been speculating that there might be some kind of crash coming, yeah. Oh, I've been saying that for 10 years. I'll finally be proven right. Maybe we should do a bracket for which, uh, which famous finance guy will for himself off a building first. The famous, I mean, the last guy to do that was about the bedbath and beyond guy. Yeah, maybe the guy,

it's usually more CEOs, I think. CEO. Finance guys, they know how fake it all is. I'll make it back. I built this out of nothing, literally. I built this out of like, you know, currency arbitrage. Whatever.

Take it, yeah, take it. This will be fun. No, like CEOs who are like, no, I just wanted to make a better, a better Oreo by shoving, you know, chemicals that like you know whatever yeah those are the guys you know reports gonna come out and say they did something that you know i pissed in the cookies whatever you know i mean that you know that that uh there's a kebler elves uh you know there's uh there's arsenic uh in you know something

i don't accuse anyone of anything but you know my point is right um i don't know i just feel like we could do something for this country something for america what's your favorite uh spring activity it's still not spring yet i said it last week and it's still not technically spring yet yeah it's a couple of days it always takes so long to get to spring um i'd love to get one of those like sprinklers you know i liked seeing the rose blossoms that was a fun spring activity one year seeing the cherry blossoms and We're in Japan And Washington, D.C.

Oh, you went to D.C.? You went to the swamp And you were, who are you meeting with there? What lobbyists were you meeting with there, Lucy? This was back, I think it actually corresponded with an Iraq war protest. I think that's why I was there. But like, but I also saw that,

but you know, there were also blooms blooming. I mean, cherries, yes. Yeah. Sure. Cherry trees are nice. See, some of those nice blooms. You're talking about those. pink leaves yeah yeah nice i like it uh i like um i like going to the coney island boardwalk

and just buying a bunch of hot dogs everybody let's try to make friends i like i like to go i go to go to coney island and buy like a bucket of hot dogs and just hand them out like you know and then uh you know just try just first to be part of the community and then you know and someone's like why is your leg bleeding and i don't know i just put you a hot dog people just never you know appreciate anything from you you could you could be the you could be the king of harvard and i'll just think you're homeless well regardless thank you so much for tuning in thank you the show um and member we know this is this is going to be the new time and we're and we're all excited for it and just you know come make sure you comment and uh you know ask

Tell us what your March madness activity will be. We got to get better at this. Comment, maybe write me a paragraph about, what am I doing? Just say something controversy. Hey, what do you think? I'm like, well, maybe if, right, tell me your dad's name. And then, no, no, no, why is this so awkward? It should be smoother.

I should be smoother. I should have gotten to Harvard. All right. Thank you very much. remember to like subscribe comment patreon have a great week