Kump - Ep. 210 Men Fight Gorilla

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

Could 100 men defeat a gorilla—barehanded? Ray and Lucie dive into the internet’s wildest debate, then spiral into Times Square chaos, bodega panic buttons, and a NASA fraud scandal.Full meltdown, full comedy. It’s KUMP.Support the show → patreon.com/raykump🎧 EP210: 100 Men vs Gorilla

Welcome to Kump. We're discussing the 100 men versus a gorilla. Lucy, how many guerrillas could you take in a fight? Oh, in a fight. No holds barred, yes. You know, I think I could probably dispose of, are they babies? No, they're full-grown men gorillas. Men-garis.

Masculine gorillas, the tension of, the muscle tension of very strong shorts and I don't think I would do very well in that situation I mean I don't think less than one none okay well that's fair it's a fair assessment I'm taking 11 I'm gonna try 11 guerrillas 11 guerrillas yeah where does this debate

even come from who started the guerrilla debate I don't know it's some internet thing this just happens this is where we live we used to discuss like you know culture and arts in this country and now one random person on Reddit asked about whether you could We could fight, you know, fight a, you know, a bunch of orangutans, and that's, that's, that's, that's the agenda. I like it.

It's, uh, it's democratic. So. Having people probably, like, fought guerrillas in, in the past and in a time when, you know, early humans and stuff? Well, this brings up interesting questions. Like, do you get weapons? I mean, because, you know, we have this whole thing nowadays in, you know, our modern culture of men and very strong, uh, masculine podcasters. Mr. Joe Rogan, Mr. Andrew Tate. Not saying they're together, but, you know, just strong,

Jordan Peterson, I bet he gets to, you know, fight a few gorillas. Like, you know, and I feel like they would say, I want to fight the gorilla bare-handed. That gorilla is in incredible pain. The gorilla's your father. Fight your father. On a maddenable pain. Slated dragon!

But, uh, it does seem like people in the old days would have fought gorillas with weapons, rocks they were they were less hung up on that they didn't feel like they were cheating I feel like men now because they're stuck in jobs that aren't you know hunting all day that they feel like they'd be cheating if they brought like a if they just dropped a boulder on a on a gorilla which is what they probably did back in the day they just knew where the gorillas hung out yeah and they uh they would just you know kind of edge a boulder up to the top of it and then drop it that would be my thing I would go if I went back in time I would say that and they go well the gorillas don't hang out under the rock cliff and they go well i got

nothing else that's all i had you have any paella or something i mean i i heard the food back back in this time was great no no chemicals no forever chemicals yeah no dies they were all eating paleo no red 40 and yellow 5 just pure rocks and sand none of those harmful dies yeah exactly hysterical mothers are always talking about right exactly uh so i mean here's some facts about I mean, I love, I love eating dyes. I mean, shut up, mom. I love eating dyes. I'm not going to lie.

I mean, they were talking about dyes for like 20 years. Like, Yellow 5 was a thing since I was in high school, at least. And I didn't go out of my way to not eat it. And, you know, I think I'm fine. I think everyone would agree I'm fine. Well, it turned great. Everything splendid. The gorilla's strength.

The civil back gorilla can weigh up to 500 pounds and exhibit strength for the 10 times greater than that. have an average human. They possess a bite force of approximately 13,000 PSI and can lift weights. What's PSI? It's when you fill your tire up, the air is PSI. It's like that's a rate. I don't know how you figure that. Well, I know, I only know tires.

You know, I think a tire you want between 30 and 40 PSI a lot of the time. Yeah. Maybe more. How strong you want a bite to be. Yeah. I want 20 Michelin's or 20 Michelin bite. I think that it does hurt to get bitten by a gorilla. I don't know if you didn't feel it.

Do you think you'd feel a gorilla biting your arm? I feel like you would just be like, you would just see it and you, I mean, you would kind of like leave your body in a way. Yeah, it would be more just like your flesh is being rendered. Right. It's not like, it's not really like you're feeling it

the way you would feel a human's bite or a cat's bite. Right. Well, I mean, the cat can be pretty nasty. Don't undersell the cat. excuse me but the um i used to i used to have this a friend of mine used to have this cat like a hoarder house cat what you say like every child had one like every oh you know everyone growing up knew a hoarder house cat what i want to explain like our cat's a street cat yeah you know like and she had certain habits of a street cat yeah hoarder cats are

fucking crazy though right like they were they're just like uh you You know, and I remember it would be, even when I was sleeping over at my friend's house. Yeah. On the couch. It would crawl under the sheets and just start scratching it at me. Oh, wow. That's cute. Yeah.

That can be nice. And this cat came from a hoarder, like a legit hoarder house you're saying? Legit hoarder house cat, yeah. Oh, wow. And it would just scratch you and you would let it scratch at you. Even though you don't know where it's been eaten. Well, it's like, I'd be like waking up from it going like, you know. I wouldn't fully understand what was happening

But someone would let it in Yeah Yeah This is not good If you told me this I would have We would have dealt with this earlier I'm not happy about

Risper relation So you've just been like Getting stabbed by like hoarder cats For like your whole life Yeah Explains But anyway But that's different than a gorilla

A gorilla would be much worse If there was a gorilla under the sheets with me Yeah It would be horrible No you figure I'd be very bad Yeah I would take that as a personal affront

if I found you in bed with a gorilla. Tell you that much. I'm not putting up with that. You know, I need self-respecting a man would. Right, yeah. That's not going to be, if that's what you wanted, that's marriage, you can pack up. The gorilla's just like, the gorilla's just biting me.

You're standing over and going like, look, lady, I'm a one woman man. The gorilla's saying that? You're saying that. That's the gorilla's biting me. Yeah, hey, hey, you thought this was open? Your hands about to be open. Psychological factors.

The success of humans with heavily depends on their ability to remain coordinated and overcome fear. So here's a scenario. I mean, I guess the people, they're somehow arguing that we, because that's the thing, how many could,

oh, I get it now. they're really asking could 100 men do it together is the point I took it as how many men would you need I'm like no I'm good or reverse the ratio

but they're saying could 99 men take it like a gorilla of course they could what kind of like how do you have to be not to I guess it must be that you're not allowed to have weapons right it must be that it's just you

like you have to use the strength of a hundred men oh that's the only way it would make sense I mean with rocks I guess I mean this video does this video have anything about it That's saying. That has a lot to say.

Gorillas aren't built for long fights. They're like sprinters. They explode for about a minute, and then they gas out hard. Man, I'm taking that gorilla. Man, do people know how big them silver-backed gorillas are? Surround it, destruct it. Get on it, you know what I mean. How are you going to kill it?

I haven't heard one logical response or explanation because obviously no tools are allowed. If we have 100 men out there who are willing to die, give me the men. versus a silverback gorilla, I want to see 100 men versus a critical thought. What? That's enough. I know that. She's done. That girl's done.

She's cooked. Totally cooked. Over. What is so, okay, so there's no tools, but they gas out quick. What is it about that delivery that just ruins everything? The vocal fry? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

It sounds like someone, you know, giving their last breath, you know, telling their child how they disenfranchise them from the will. I gave it to Jeremy He came and visited So you can't have weapons That's what they made clear just now You can't have weapons You can't

Ben I look what would you do Yeah I don't You would basically have one You would do it the way a prison sort team does I believe You're familiar with a prison sort team They're like the SWAT teams

to go into prisons. Okay. Last I checked. I mean, it's almost a bit of a while since they might have updated their techniques since I was researched prisons. But the idea I believe is that each guy gets like his own body part. Okay.

So like I, you got right leg. I got left leg. You got right leg. This guy's got left arm. And we just barrel through to that, like to that. So you just don't get distracted.

I guess it's the logic. And I would just, you would just have like a ratio of like, you know, sort of like five guys to the left leg, five guys. And yeah, I mean, it's like, you can only do so much. I mean, it's going to be strong. It's going to be like.

But that might be one of the better responses. Like, I've heard about it. Right. Because it's just like, I've heard people say like, oh, you play, you play keep away from it or whatever. But it's like, how long are you doing that? How fast do you think you are? And it's like, and, but you're, but the whole like every, each kind of, you, you divide it up into smaller groups. Right.

Which group gets a different part of the animal. You get the fupa. You get, you get the taint. You know. You just start, you just kick it in the balls. Yeah,

and you bite, you start biting. That would be 100 women versus a gorilla. Right. Yeah. I mean, it would just be, you know,

them, eh, that'd be their kick. It's just going to, eh. Look, I don't know if you, we can't discount the immense force

that, you know, a gorilla, it's not like getting hit by, you know, you know, some boomer dad. Right.

You know, won't let you cook eggs, all right? This is a powerful being. So it's going to throw people away. I mean, there's one guy. It was like, those got a hundred guys going to die. Give me those 100 guys. I'm like, are we just doing this for fun? I assume we had to, like, fight a gorilla.

I don't know what, like, these, these, these, these, these, these, these, like, weird. I don't know what these pros are. These pros are on a different level. Like, they immediately go into, like, this weird, like, Hemingway, like, bro code, romance thing of, like, give me the men who will sacrifice their life. Oh, we get in the test. by a gorilla or not. I don't want to hang out with a bunch of men

who want to fight guerrillas. That's weird. That's not fun. That's a bad hang. I want men who are like, yeah, if a guerrilla attacks us, we'll do something. We're not just going to, like,

you know, suck it. I don't want to be, like, hang about this. Like, I don't think that, I don't think that just because men have homoerotic feelings towards other men, like, necessarily means they're gay.

Right. You know, but, like, but there's definitely a lot of, like, homoeroticism. Right. And then, and this. In the guerrilla fighting community. In the guerrilla fighting community.

Sure. And in this year's internet. Yeah. It's just so much of, because no one's actually got into a fight. No one's actually, you know, filed their tooth down with a metal nail file and inside view of a truck. Yeah. You know, no one's ever worked at a potato bread warehouse in general. So it's like, you know, they just not meant.

They might go to the gym and they might, you know, they might shoot guns. But they're not. They, like, you can't get phased. But, you know, you can't be George Orwell, who I love. But he used to, like, when he's, like, writing about, like, you know, miners, like, you know, coal miners or, like, or, like, or people in the South American, what was that war he wanted to fight? Spanish-American War, Civil War. And he just, like, every, he keeps going aside, here's why this guy is a real hunk. Or whatever.

Like, this is, I don't know how to phrase this, but I had more affection for this band than anyone I met in my life. And, like, all right, and just some random guy drawing a map. So, like, whatever, dude. So you really, this is, this kind of stuff we can't. We need men who are just like, you know, in the moment, present. And if a guerrilla attacks, we go, hey, let's do something. Plan. Let's, like, bullet point to plan.

You know, I need one task guy. I need one secretary. You know, maybe like a small guy who's just really good at writing notes. All right, write down what I say. Groups. Taint spider, that's you. All right. You, uh, and you just do waves of stuff.

I don't know. It just seems to me, we're just really getting away from, like, you know, there's too much poetry in the air there's too much just like it's just so soft this kind of reminds me of another thing I see sometimes where it'll be like it's a lot of like

these men like computer programmers talking about how grateful we should be to the real men who build the power lines and the buildings and stuff like it's just kind of like it's like these men they sacrifice their bodies

they sacrifice their bodies they sacrificed their lives well we paid I mean they got paid right I was literally about to be like that's what the money is for but it's like all kind of like it's always like in the context of being like and women won't even

won't even make sex with them right which they did so those guys were all hung over the entire time the infrastructure of America was built all these guys who died building the Brooklyn Bridge I mean is it because it was that dangerous or is it because like no one thought twice about like tying on nine whiskeys the night before that's probably a lightweight thing just just polishing off a

leader right and then like you know going to work on the Brooklyn bridge I'm sure a few of them died got the bends I'm sorry they didn't know where it was back then yeah but this idea like oh these guys yeah we they were they were plowing at night they were picking up broads birds left and right like at the very least they were picking up a prostitute or something they wouldn't want your gratitude they would look at your gratitude like it's a like worm food but they need your gratitude for you fucking nobody they built the

Brooklyn Bridge they don't need you got you had nothing to say to them all right you why don't you go right a WordPress blog right you donkey but yeah so that's I mean that's my I think we got to the bottom of it and it would take you know so is it

really it's just a hundred men yes the answer is yes and if the answer no then you I don't want to know you what what's the what's the what's the what's the what's the what's the what's the prize for being right if you did end up dying if I came in here and said yeah we couldn't do it and then I had to fight them and I lost

yeah well I get like a little plaque on my grave is that he was right about that he answered correctly when someone asked you could you fight just say yes just say yes there's no downside this is not like some comic book where if you were some genie

if you say yes then you have to fight him in a Pokemon match all right it's never going to happen. Just say yes and then if it had you know if you lose then we can just you know assume that you do the same by gorilla so you know there's that

moving on. Yeah it's it's valuable for the fantasy right of actually doing it successfully of killing the gorilla sure yeah I mean it's just this is what people go around they go around fan. No one's going to do anything because we go around and talk about, oh, we're going to fight guerrillas together. And then like, what really happens is this, which is, I feel bad. I'm not trying

to make fun of the guy, but this is a story about a man who fell, uh, from the stands. Oh, yeah, this is messed up. This is, we don't fight guerrillas. Let's play this. This is a, baseball fans left in shock after a man fell from the bleachers at Pittsburgh's piano. That doesn't even look like falling. It looks like somebody pushed him. Yeah, that's crazy. We should look into that. This morning, baseball fans left in shock after a man fell from the bleachers. I don't know. I'm not even put the video on because we might get, they might, YouTube might get weird about that. But the guy's falling from the, from the stands.

I didn't realize the news would just show you a guy falling. That's murder. That's murder most foul. Well, maybe, or maybe, look, I mean, do you see a guy pushing? I mean, he has, his body has such momentum. Like, it doesn't look like some guy who's, like, you know, losing balance. Well, just describe what you're seeing. I don't think we're going to put this video on the thing because it might trip up the thing. So it's in, like, the kind of, like, second kind of tier stands above the first row of stands. This morning, baseball fans left in shot.

And this guy just kind of like, it's like his body goes up from the seat, like, shoots up from the seat, and then stumbles over. Yeah, very interesting and weird. I can't, I mean, well, let's, there facts here? We shouldn't have facts. The, uh, during the seventh inning of a Pittsburgh Pirates game against the Chicago Cubs, a van fell approximately 21 feet, which is a lot from the right field stands onto the warning, the warning track at PNC Park. The incident occurred shortly after Andrew McCutcheon's two run double.

That's not important. I don't think they need to tell us that guy, you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, it's happened after the. The guy runs in. Don't worry about that. Tell me about the guy. I don't care what the score was.

Emergency personnel over the team medical staff responded swiftly and the man was transported to Allegheny General Hospital in critical condition. So I guess he's in critical condition, but I guess he's all right? I don't know. We'll see. The game is Paul. Hold on this is, go ahead.

Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, you go. I worry about all the time. about falling out of stands. I do, too, actually, yeah. You know, they're always, like, it always seems so fragile up there, especially, we went to a basketball game.

I was freaking out. You didn't realize it at the time. Oh, yeah, yeah. But as we were going into the stands, I was like, I was falling on to people. Well, we were, what's funny, it was so scary to be up there. Yeah, well, it's weird,

because, like, we went to a Nets game at Berkeley Center last year, and, you know, everyone's like, oh, yeah, you can you get, because I'm such a big, whatever, I'm a big clots. But Lucy, I didn't even think you But you're still like when you're trying to like get in To the stent your seat

Yeah Yeah there's like no room anymore I thought it's just me because I'm just a pig But like you know it's no it's like even for a normal small person Like you can't get by And like these things are slanted I feel or at least it feels like they are And yeah you feel like if you tripped

As you were trying to get over someone's legs You would just go tumbling down like I don't know 10 15 rows Like it literally does feel like that these places. I was literally, like, I was almost about to tell you, like, I can't do this. But then I remember, like, I got you the tickets for your birth. Right.

It's like, I can't do. I can't do that. If we die, we die. Yeah, that's me just every day of my life. It's just that if we die, we die. But, yeah. So it's like. But, yeah, they treat us like bugs.

No, we're just mad, yeah, unless you have a private box and you're hanging out with the owners. Like, you're basically treated like an house. animal. Yeah. But what's interesting about this is, if you, this one of these bullet points is, uh, once, where was it, uh, reports, but I just saw it. It was 10. It was Pirates Zone.

Oh, yeah. Game impact. The game was paused for approximately 10 minutes as the fan received medical, so the game was only paused for 10 minutes. Only 10 minutes. You only get 10 minutes for a tragic, uh, fall to the, that's the thing about like, this grinder is, is, is. Oregon grinder that we call America and Earth.

It's not an anti-American screed. It's just what we've built. It's, and like, there's no way to care. Because you go, what are you going to, like,

what we do to stop the game? We all came out here and we've paid money for hot dogs. And then the hot dogs are the waste. I'm not going to eat a hot dog while someone's not playing. But I can't. I've wasted. Like, that hot dog is wasted unless I'm watching a guy,

you know, catch a fly ball. You know, if I, my kids, you look at me and go, Daddy, Daddy, you know, we don't care about this man. Why can't we watch more baseball? I mean, no, we're worried about the guy.

And they're like, why? We don't know him. He's nothing. He's a bug. He's dirt. He's rancid. He's just nothing to us. Humanity is very transient.

Is what my son will tell me. It's just fickle. Life's fickle. Why don't you get in the game, bitch? That's what he's saying to me. I'm like, all right, fair enough. And I'm just like, hey, oh, put the game back on. I don't care about it.

the concussion you know it just seems like a really callous but also what could you do return everyone's money would you have to return everyone's money if you stop the game would all these bums be like give me our money back at the same time are they are they wrong if that happens because like they are billionaires on the other side of the equation I bet you eat this one how about how about the billionaire team owner eats this one if a guy falls off the thing and then the problem is you create perverse incentive then because then you'll have these, like, guys, you know, let's see you get a group of 20 guys, right?

Mm-hmm. Which, those kind of drunk maniacs are always coming groups of 20. It's not like a normal friend group. It's always, like, 20 guys who've known each other since they were five. And they only do is just spit and walk down the street together. Yeah. Chanting. Chanting about, you know, just violence.

Yeah. And whatever. It's fun. So they'll get one guy. And you'll be like, instead of a designated driver, he'll be a designated follower. And he'll just faller. And, like, you know, they'll get him a helmet or something, you know. But that's going to, like, that's what you create.

Because we're all, it's like, oh, rich people are such bastards. If you give the poor an inch, they'll take a mile. They'll do, they'll start setting up. Like, they'll just, like you said, they, he looks like he got thrown. That's your opinion. I don't know. I mean, but it might be. But my point, but that will be the case.

Yeah. They'll throw a guy to get a free hot dog. You know, it'll work itself out. You know, economics of it. I'm not sure how exactly it works. I wonder, I guess maybe was he trying to catch the ball? Is that what was happening? Yeah, probably.

He's probably trying to read. I mean, is it here anywhere? The community or the incident is prompt. No one here. It's surprising lack of victim blaming in this summary I have. Lucy wants to know if it's his fault. Oh, no. I'm also, you know, it does pique my curiosity.

Well, no, it's just, it's just sad. Oh, wait, here we go. Okay. I'm sorry. So the witnesses reported that the fan appeared to climb onto the railing before losing his balance and falling The railing from which he fell exceeds building code requirements Standing at 36 inches high

So oh okay pirate's owner Bob Nudding Nothing huh nice Express he's doing fine Express deep sorrow over the incident Calling a terrible accent Why don't he give his family $20 million then If you're actually sorry How about that? I don't believe in Rich

person's sorry unless they give up all their money or like a quote about this give 10% of your money every time that should be the rule going if i if i get in charge of america somehow i think it's a fair rule i don't mean for everything but if you do you know like if you if you have a negligent car accident 10% of your money if you have you know if you if someone falls off your deck i mean you whatever we don't include uh just you know but you know i'm saying stuff that's like actually your fault you get to lose 10% of your wealth it goes out of the guy

it's a redistribution but that's what people do to avoid having to apologize they give up their money not that much money it's not 10% 10% for a real rich guys a lot of them I'm talking about like a team owner they typically were billions if it's anything like the NBA I believe it is

I don't think it's any I mean I'm not sure I don't know if the NBA the major league baseball teams are all as like over a billion but you know they're a lot they're very expensive these are very rich people So, you know, I'm just saying They don't pay like $100 million every time I'm saying it's a different mechanism

Forget taxes and all that We just wipe off 10% It's a thing It's like you get a punch card You know, oh, I eat five subs And the fifth ones, you know, after they click the card You know what I'm saying? Yeah Yes

It's like that Yeah, you get a free one With your money Yes You don't like it What's the wrong with it? I like it a lot You should never put my crazy idea

So I just want I just want a patent their way to steal money Whatever moving on So a lighter note Last night I don't know how this works This guy so apparently Some

A teen shot a man in a Times Square A vendor Yes Which is a sacred thing Is it? What is a I mean I'm not No one should be shot

But what is a vendor, per se? Well, look, no one should be shot, but there are some people who really shouldn't be shot. And people who vend tasty hot dogs. I don't know. It's just a little extra fan. But this is Times Square. It's not a baseball game.

Like, where are they? Time Square is like public gum shrimp, isn't it? Let's just look at this story. I remember this mango lady who used to set up her little mango stand on my way to work. Right. And, yeah, I don't know, something happened. She got to pour it or something. Would you do?

But then there were no more mangoes. You called her in because she was, you know, she was caddy to you? I did not call. You asked if she took debit card and she was like, no. And then you called her, you called her ice on her. That's fun. We all have a bad morning. Don't talk to me until I had my coffee.

I just gave her. She was like, it's one. It's just like it's $1.50. I gave her a dollar. It was like, can you round up? Brand up. So it's $150. I was like, what do you mean?

I'm going to call his on you. No, but I'm saying that's actually one of the few things where I could I actually noticed a tangible loss. Right. But there was no mango lady anymore. Sure. And so like that, and that would be your response, you know, if she was gone one day. And so it was, oh, that someone shot her.

But I like those mangoes. We're going to get mangoes now. I don't know. I mean, I mean, what happens? Like some guy brutally put a gun on her mouth. And said, you know, this is your time to, you know, and there's no heaven. Just so you know that. And then you got a shower.

And you go, but where am I going to get mangoes? In the early hours. Oh, God, I'm going to miss those mangoes. Mangoes can be, like, lame. It's not great, but if they're great, they're phenomenal. I'm not, I'm not in between mango guy. So, you know, if she had really good mangoes, I'd be on her side. Yeah.

If they were just whatever, just kind of plaza mangoes. I honestly think that's a big problem with the country is that people just keep deporting mango ladies and they never deport the Sharia City guy. Sure. Get rid of Sharia cities and stop having fruit out of season, right? Yeah. You don't need strawberry. We're guilty to this. I like having fruit and I don't know when the seasons are.

So when they're there, just only give me the option to buy the good stuff. If you're one of those expensive stores, it gets the good strawberries and, like, I don't know, March, whatever. Cool. What are you getting from Bangladesh? Okay. But, you know, I may be paying extra. Because why am I paying the same rate?

You know what I mean? I want good fruit and just sell me what's good. I don't want to have to talk to a fruit merchant and be like, what's, like, is this in season? They always lie to you. Yeah. I don't at me if you're a fruit merchant who's honest. There always are. Actually, why don't you?

Why don't you sound off in the pod? And don't forget to subscribe. Make your best case. While you're subscribing to the show and then you also put the link for the Patreon on the screen, why don't you also comment about how you're, you know, if you're the kind merchant for mangoes. In the early hours of April 30 of 2025, a violent incident unfolded in New York City's Times Square when a 29-year-old food card vendor was shot in the arm. Oh, we shot in the arm.

Is he right then, right? Yeah. You might hear the cat Hello cat The altercation was occurred So he didn't die I thought he was So he's the oldest about the guy

Who got shot in the arm Which is not nothing You could die from that But I mean I thought he's alive Well I don't know Good You want to watch the story about it

Tempted murder yeah Yeah sure It was cute up tonight We're getting a first look At the man accused of pulling the trigger Let's get right out to Foxx Linda Schmidt who is live tonight In Times Square

Linda That's right. And that shooting happening after a brawl with a food vendor right here, right where we're standing, in the heart of Times Square. Now, the charges against the shooter include attempted murder and assault. Go ahead. Take a look at this video here because this was shot just a short time ago. Police identifying the suspect is 21-year-old Emmanuel Charles of Harlem. Now, as he was brought out of the Midtown North Precinct, he said his actions were self-defense. Police say it was. It was. is a much different story. Yeah, I mean, this is a country. I mean, I don't know why people aren't given the benefit of the doubt for, you know, uh, self-defense more. I was assuming he just did it. I mean, yeah, maybe the guy,

maybe the guy was giving them bad mangoes. The NYPD says that he was with a large group of young people. That included some mangoes gray inside. It makes it, it makes me want to defend myself. Some what? Mago's what side? When the mango is kind of gray inside. Oh, yeah.

You better not be giving Lucy bad, you know, gray mangoes. I'll tell you that much. I ain't going to tell you what she'd do because, you know, the algorithm. But don't be giving my wife bad mangoes. Girls, about quarter of five in the morning this morning, in Times Square, at 47th Street and 7th Avenue. Now, the group got into a brawl with a food cart vendor. This video was recorded by a witness, and we put a white circle around the vendor so that you can see who he. Again, this is just, you know, we don't either.

I don't like to watch someone. attacked in the you know it's getting it's getting bad because it's one thing when you have violence in the capital right January 6 for instance is one thing when you have riots on the streets over what was that what was that black lives matter

stuff back a couple summers ago right five summers ago whatever that was you know I'm saying but like the riot the violence or the war but here's the thing when you can't take your son to the M&M store without worrying about him getting shot in the

armed by a mango vendor or vice versa, that's a problem. That's where I draw the line because there's nothing my son loves more than me taking him to the M&M store and just fill in his dumb mount with luscious M&M's. You know, and they're playing and there's a guy there. There's some convict dresses his M&M. He's like, you know, he might be a guilty of all sorts of assaults. and stalking, but he's dressed as the green, hot Eminem, the girl. Imagine, imagine taking your son there for his birthday and go take it to get as many

Eminems as you want. Hey, look at that pretty Eminem there. Isn't she something to be one day you can, you can smooch her? I don't know. Why don't you go ask her out? Yeah, why don't you go ask her out? And she turns him down and I laugh at him. And then we leave the Eminem store, just having a ball.

And he's shot because. someone you know because some people can't keep their keep their shit together in the middle of time square it's this is a down it's a downtrend for america time square is like it's a canary in the coal mine if you can't have a nice time in times time square is like the is the town is the town square of america that's right it's the crossroads of the world we need the police time square better all right the the is the m&m store like the ultimate symbol of childhood, do you?

No, I didn't have, I never went to, I've never been to it. The Eminem store comes up a lot. It just to me, it just encapsulates like everything about this country. It's just like, it's just like, hey, here's these like dots of chocolate covered in crappy candy. It's just the worst

candy. And let's just turn this into a, into a, but it's not, if you build an amusement park, it'd be one thing. But they treat like it's an attraction. It's just a store like people dressed up in M&M suits and there's candy to buy. It's not like you can go all these roller coasters.

I mean, is there? Is there a theme park inside the M.M. store? I don't believe so. Nothing I remember. That would be amazing. It's not, the Lego store I get. It's probably more comparable to like F.A.O. Schwartz or something.

But F.A. Shores, you can buy toys. There's something about like this country, like, you know, we got past toys. Now it's about, you know, what's your, just some fat kids talking about candy all day. Like, you're like, that shouldn't be part of your identity as a kid what can't like you know yeah it's just you know what's sport oh i mean i like the yankees and like m&ms that can't be the thing it's just it just scree but it's also there's something

so innocent about it there's something like it's just the american the collective psyche of the american people it's their last guess but like any kind of joy it might seem grotesque to you but it's like hey can we can this be nice hey hey hey will you take our job jobs, move a mess out of the country, just flood the country of low, low wage workers will just price me out of anything, turn me into a number that I have to, I have to compete like an animal for every bit of, you know, just existence I have in this country. This is, there's nothing's taken for granted. There's no culture.

There's nothing to bond over. Women don't like me. It's just the ratios are off. The colleges are, you know, just depriving everyone. of a future you borrow 500 grand to get a bachelor's degree but you know

but like just that's all fun but just let me have this one piece of joy and we're taking that out of the way that's the last brick it's the last piece of the puzzle gunshots across the battle it just seems to me

it just seems to me like you know we need to if you don't give people a win they'll make their own win all right You know what I'm getting that? Yeah, I do. You can't just keep stepping on the neck of America.

We have some pride. We're like, America is like that, like, you know, that fat, smelly, smelly guy outside a bar who's just getting beaten and pissed on and just, you know, and people are throwing drinks at them and saying, you're more beasted man. And he finally, like, I've had enough. and he mustered and he gets one he gets one of them by the leg and he pulls his leg and he and he goes down he's got him and the fat man just starts eating his face

that's that's what America is but we haven't even done that we need to at least eat the face on the way down do you know what I'm getting that we have we can only take so much and like I don't understand why the people who run things you know it's chaotic as it may be nowadays, don't put any thought into like, are we giving

people more than they can handle? You know, I don't know if we're psychically capable of dealing with the stresses of modern American living as a people. You know, the crypto bros are fine, and the mercenaries who

you know, fought in Iraq and then sign down with blackwater, they're doing okay. But what about the every man? The plumber, the cabby. They need things. They're not going to get any rare earth minerals from Ukraine. They're not going to do anything out of us. This is the Ukraine deal where they talk about, you know, we signed a deal.

I don't think we put this on the thing, but we signed a deal with the Ukraine to get rare earth minerals or something in exchange for not also bombing them or something. I'm not sure what Trump did. I think he told Yolenski, we'll just attack you too. He just signs this deal. Like, I don't know if it's good for me. And I don't care. And to be fair, I'm for it.

Because we, you know, there's a country we could use those to build a, I don't know, electric tents. Something fun. But the average Joe has no. Massage tents. Yeah. Camping tents that massage you. Right. Exactly.

And the sharper image will have a ball with that. But what's the average Joe going to do with 18 tons of lithium? He doesn't know what to do with it. It's probably poisonous to keep in the garage, all right? He's not getting anything on his Ukraine deal. Oh, he's thinking, oh, well, long term he will. long term he'll be dead right yeah long term he'll have black lung that he got at the mnm store perhaps or any other you know a lovely place in america who who where can a man like that get a fresh breath

i don't know i don't i mean i'm just saying yeah i know this guy we're supposed to feel bad for the guy who got shot in time square and i do i feel for the guy but i also feel you know uh something's a miss in Denmark. Is that Shakespeare? Something's rotten in Denmark. Something sucks in Denmark. Dash-Dash-William Shakespeare. So is that.

I don't know. What is speaking of, some people are, because this story is kind of similar, actually. They want these bodega, because we're talking about Times Square, right? That's the idea. They don't have bodegas in Times Square, per se.

But bodegas are all around. and they're not all Spanish I guess I don't know why we always use term of this is a deli you know it's not great deli usually they make chop cheese every once in a while you see a legit odega in a sense

that all the products are kind of like yeah in line with like in line with that right but it's like yeah for the most part it's just it's it's just a term we use it's cultural it's just cultural holdover yeah it's just a melting pot yeah we're pot we're pot melting here

and we have odegas And apparently they're also getting attacked. And it's not great. They want a panic button, apparently, is the thing. That's terrible. That's, that's, I, I feel for them. In response to research, yeah, no, no, I mean, some, I mean, the Bodega kid that we met, you know, that guy. As I've said before, you know, I won't tell the story again because I've told it already.

Sure. Go back in the archives. I've been helped by a, by Bodega boys on many occasions. Many occasions. I mean, there was a, I mean, he helped me. All right, he's an exaggeration. help you, or they just never hit on you? No, no, help.

They helped your ego? All I know about, all I know about is this one bodega kid who, like, tried to, like, you know, try to get with you. He was like 12, and you said, no, you shot him down, thankfully. And that's how I knew you were right or die. Yeah, because I didn't have sex with a child. Yes. Yeah. Right.

In response to a surge in violent incidents, including a recent robbery in bedstye, were assaults, Assailants impersonated MIPD officers Ooh, the United Bodegas Wait, the United Bodegas of America Is it tensifying its campaign For the installation of panic buttons In all New York City bodegas All right, I didn't realize there was

A panic fridge that they can run into Just like a, oh, so you just have a, yeah, There's one There's one fridge door that takes you Well, that leads into my thing Because honestly, I didn't realize There was a united bodegas of a, the UBA, the United Modegas of America.

I didn't know that was a thing. And I'm sure that, you know, they all feel very hurt and scared and they would like a panic button. And maybe we can do that. But first, can we get the UBA to, like, make the modegas have, like, their fridges actually work?

Because that's the one day. I mean, not every, about a lot of bodega, I go in to get a diet, Dr. Pepper, and it's, like, lukewarm. Most of them don't work. Yeah, I'm like, I can't care if, That's going to be. If you don't care about my beverage being cold, I'm supposed to, like, set aside money for some, you know, some hamster tunnel under all the bodegas that they can sneak to a special location with some buttons and some Mr. Gadget, you know, traps. No, I'm not supporting this. Get the fridges working and then we can talk about safety. All right? You know, oh, I don't want to be some guy pretending to be a cop. I'll pretend to be a guy who likes warm soda. Maybe that's why

Maybe that's why the attacks are going at Because it What do you mean? It's very frustrating You go You go into a story You go like you're walking around It's a hot summer night

And I just want a nice Refreshing Diet Dr. Pepper It's just quenching my thirst And you go And it's just like It's just kind of It's like 70 degrees or something It's just disgusting

Or 60 I mean I'm not sure How how cold is it How cold does it have to be to be palatable like 35 degrees, 40, get it closer than that. And then we could talk about these fake cops putting guns in your faces, you know? I think it's a reasonable, if I'm the mayor, that's what I'm doing.

I'm going, hey, now you got, now you got something you want. That's how negotiations work. We go, they're attacking us. Well, now you have a want, right? Negotiations can't work if you don't want nothing from me. Like, well, days we're arrogant for a while. We'd be like, hey, can you lower the thing? No, what are you going to do about it?

We're the only ones who have the soda around here because, you know, 7-Eleven ain't on your block in this neighborhood, whatever the hell of the reason is. 7-Eleven always has fantastic temperatures. I once saw a bodega guy kind of get low-key bullied by a drunk man into selling him and his cat. Oh, it's a kitten.

Oh, it's a kitten? Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't mind that. Look, I don't think. any bodega cat wants to be the old daga. So it's possible they're not assertive enough, you know? Yeah. Maybe it's got to show more spine.

Maybe when the guy puts the gun, the fake cop puts a gun in their mouth, they just go, hey, I'm going to, I bet you're faking it. You think when a bodega guy see cops, they should just assume they're fake cops? That, I mean, it's not bad advice. If a guy puts a gun in your face, just assume he's a liar. Yeah. You know, whatever. I mean, it's, look, this.

There's no good answer. There isn't one, right? It's like, yeah, but it's like, hey, if you want, if you, I'm the mayor, you want the goddamn button, pony up, you know, oh, what's the cost? It's an extra $5 grand a month to keep your fridge cold. 10 grand? I don't know.

It might be expensive. Look, we got to figure this out. I, this Zoron guy wants to build public supermarkets, like, like, like, like, NYPD supermarkets. Fix the fridges. How about we get a guy who might win? Yeah. Hey, Cuomo, fix the fridges.

All right? Or Eric Adams. Make that your thing. Zorans, you know, we talk about us with the Patreon, but they come in my house. They want to laugh because I'm broke Erg Adams. Whatever. If Zoran fixes the fridges and the bodegas, I'll convert to Islam. Yeah, I mean, I'll, I'll read the, what's the thing in the Koran?

I'll read the Koran backwards if I can get a cold Dr. Pepper. Jesus. It's not going to be a fun summer. Oh, man. What else is a good one? Where we got? What's this Tesla? So there's this teen charged in Tesla firebombing

is released from federal custody to continue gender affirming care. Now, everyone knows I'm not a fan of a lot of Musk, right? I find the guy irritating. Way before anything political. You know, I've said this role with time. I couldn't say this guy for years. if he would have been attacking his

Tesla's and you know that's never the right thing to do you don't just bomb people's cars so yeah I've never been in support of it in the first place but that we have this so this is kind of this is I don't know what is this a thing

that New York's basically like saying like hey like screw you Elon Musk let's bring this up I guess by letting her get the get her surgery or whatever well it's like I don't know it's like I don't know

that that's like gender affirming care is like something you get out of jail for. What are the details of the story? Real street some of this. We have... A college student accused of firebombing a Tesla dealership has been released from federal custody to continue gender affirming medical care.

Owen McIntyre 19 is facing federal charges for allegedly tossing Molotov cocktails into a Missouri Tesla dealership last month. Well, it's not in New York. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Is there a part here? Can we scroll past this to like a part where like they talk about why they let them out? They're them out. Apparently they're a physics student. Cares. All right. Well, is it built them out.

Is Bottas off cocktail a physics problem? McIntyre is also on the autism spectrum. Of course. And it has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression. All of which require medications and treatments that excuse him from remaining in prison. His lawyer successfully argued. But you can have ADHD and get out of jail? This can must have some dope lawyers.

Oh, wait, right, I can do whatever I want and just say, hey, I need to get my add to roll. What? What? Hey, I look at this, I look at the little snorts on the way on the come-up. This is crazy. So, you know, rich kid. Yeah, I mean, this is ridiculous. Look, if you wanted to make me get on a Juan Musk's side, which I don't, I never will.

But, I mean, you're, it's crazy how much. society doesn't want like i mean we're in the midst of so much chaos right now so much insanity uh the economy's and the people for like no reason whatever i mean it just seems like no one wants to win like the democrats could i'm not saying this is the democratic i'm not saying heem jeffreys planned this right where you know we're like we release them but it does seem like this tendencies like people just people don't want like fire bombers going free to get you know to to get a sex change operation. Right.

Like that's just that, it's nothing to do about trans. It's just, hey, if you, oh, you can have appendicitis or something. All right.

Like, we have that in jail, right? They can just remove it in jail in the cell, right? Yeah. You're cell making just remove your appendix for you. I think that probably the, the craziest policy I've seen that's like,

you know, technically like, inclusive of trans people. Right. It is like, the fact that you can, that fact that you can change. your gender identity some places

like that you can start doing that after you've been put on trial for murder. Right. After you've been put on trial for rape. Like that's the crazy thing to me. That's just that look exactly. Like once you've committed a crime, like if there's a history of this person identifying as

trans, that to me is whatever. Right. But like if they're clearly, if there's clearly some motivation like to change your gender identity if that's as the, if that's that's what it takes to, like, get you in a less, like, you know, a less troubled prison, for example, like, unless, you're, or just a prison with other victims in it, right?

Like, it's, like, it's, like, it's, uh, like, it's kind of crazy to me that that exception wasn't made immediately. Like, no, of course, look, there's no common sense. There's no, um, there's no kind of like just pausing. Every judge, you know, I'm not like some, you know, uh, crime and punishment, uh, doctor. What? you know like i'm not i'm not mr like throw the book out of necessarily like you know but i think i'm a common sense kind of guy with every judge needs to balance oh we got

balance you know public safety or whatever versus the constitution and rights sure and also but you should incorporate like will just drive society crazy right especially in the in a social media age you can't just do things and not think like well this will obviously get picked up and they should be able to bully people like bullied their way until like not even yeah yeah yeah whatever you're going to say yes the public you know how the public's going to react there's no real reason for this exception like it's just we're we're in a we're in a state I don't think people realize what we're kind of crisis this country's in of confidence people are not like the average joe does not feel like anything's working for him

and it's not and no one's got anything's got stake in the game no one's got you know the prices keep going up the mortgage rates don't go down you know the the jobs don't come back it's a nightmare out there unless you know you're you're part of the you know pretty pretty well-off crew so it's just the but when you really get into trouble is when now they have to start reading about all the exceptions that get made for other people weird people whatever it's just like it's not the adderals more more crazy than the trans thing You know, like, oh, I take Adderall, so you can't put me in jail. It's like, what do you need to focus on?

This can't be justice. Right. Yeah. We're firefobbing a car. How about you focus? How about you take a wide angle view of you with this? Don't focus. Good point.

Yeah. You want to disassociate in your cell. It's fine. Yeah. There's not much to do here. The point is we're containing you. I know it feels inefficient, but that's kind of the point. That's the real punishment.

It's the inefficiency. It's just a waste of time. So, yeah, I just feel like it's just, is this the end of the world? Like, I don't, in and of itself, but it's just, it's, it's almost like they're feeding these things to us in like bits and pieces going, like, hey, I know your son can't get health care, uh, because of, uh, you know, some, because of Aurora Borealis. Like, what? But here's a friggin, here, he read this. you know it's just it's just it's just kind of shoving it into into the weakest people or the the least the meek right the meek who should remember jesus is the megal inherit the earth

yeah all right yeah that was that was good one jesus when when you're when you oh yeah i need let me finish when the earth blows up i mean this is this person is uh you know i've seen videos of people vandalizing teslas or whatever Yeah. But like two Molotov cocktails. That's a lot. That's actually, that's a pretty, like, solid commitment to being, to doing something pretty violent.

Did Molotov cocktails, like, for the younger generation? The Zumers view Milotov cocktails as MBD? Yeah. Right? No big deal. It's all just a Militaph. It's like the way, like, back when we were growing up, people were like, oh, weed's not that bad.

And it's like, oh, it's not, you know, like, like, like, Milotov's got desigmatized at some point. Yeah. Because Gradov was like, you know, a badass thing. Like a kind of like a thing you would, you know, if you were like, you know, raging into the machine throwing a Molotov. It was like a thing you would do if you were like starting a revolution. Not like we don't like this guy's policy.

That's just you can do that. You can do that. But you go to jail then. And that's the price you pay for liberty. If that's how you view liberty. Right. Like you go, oh, you do not, that's not real. That doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter what you think of their liberty. That's how they view it. Like, that's how this works. You're allowed to view liberty how you want. I mean, this country likes to pretend like you're a terrorist, you're not, whatever. Yes, to us, the people are terrorists. But it's, of course, it's inherently a two-sided thing. You're allowed to have your view, but then you go to jail.

And, like, you don't get the bitch about it. Right, yeah. I mean, I will say I would love, like, I remember playing Last of Us. Yeah. And every time, like the Molotov cocktail, you like the Molotov cocktail. Yeah. There is something very satisfying about it. Sure.

Like, I can understand the, I can understand the, allure of a Molotov cocktail I love Molotov cocktails I think they're great but I would never throw one without going to jail I would only throw one to defend a bodega guy if he was being attacked yeah I just don't know if those are fake cops or not

and I'm not gonna go to jail myself you know but they guys have never done much for me I'll be honest they've always they've always gonna be very curt answers like oh you have cat well you go in there and you don't have catch up or like any bait whatever just like there's no like no

Oh, but we should have it Monday. It was a follow-up. It's all just like, you know, oh, like, it's just this, we don't have this, we don't have that. We don't have toilet paper. It's very, very cold. So why am I building a button? You build your own button. Leave me out of it.

I'm sick of holding water for every other person in this country. But speaking of a, that, this is a fun thing. So the Trump nominee for NASA administrator, I believe, right? What's his guy's name? President Donald Trump's nominee for NASA administrator, Jared Isaacman, has come under scrutiny due to past legal issues involving allegations of financial misconduct. In 2010, Isaacman was arrested on fraud charges relating to bad check,

passing bad checks to casinos in Trump's own Taj Mahal. I mean, do we have This is passing bad checks To a casino is that is that actually like illegal Like it's that's that's fraud Are you asking of writing like purposely writing bad checks It's a crime Okay purposefully

Well yeah I mean Look you yeah I guess you could argue that like You didn't know I yeah I mean it's kind of funny like this guy What did he have like a gambling addiction or something Let's see arrested the Canadian border in February 2010,

which wasn't even that long ago, 15 years, I mean, it's 15 years. Isaac was arrested by U.S. Customs and Border Protection of the Washington State Line on a felony fraud warrant issued by Clark County, Nevada. He was detained briefly and released the next day. I faced civil lawsuits in Jersey, writing bad checks, totaling $2 million to casinos. Yeah, I don't know. Look, yes, that's always going to be a crime.

You can't just write a bad $2 million check or whatever. I mean, if it's not one, two million, one, then there you go, there you go, there's your pattern. Yes, we can assume he was doing some purpose. I don't know how bad you have to be at finance. They're like, oh, I was $2 million off in my estimation of how much I had in my bank account. I only had $3 million, but turns out I have $20,000. My bad. I like this, though.

It makes sense. Do we have a picture, at least, this guy? Here we go. This is the guy. This is Jerich Eisenman. I don't know what is, despite these revelations, the way he has expressed strong support. Yeah, why wouldn't they?

That's why he picked him. Trump picked him because he writes bad. That's who Trump likes. I mean, you know, this guy, like, apparently screwed him out of money. Right. He's like, no, I like the kind of your gym. Right. I like the way you move.

It's just, it's, uh, what, I mean, what, what is the, just because this guy likes to fucking bet on the ponies a little bit. right wait he's he can't he can't look at a star and say oh yeah star i'll name the star is that what nassar does you know you want you want a fake trip to the moon we'll send titty perry to the moon oh not if you not if you've ever you know uh put in a three card monte in a subway you like you should not be barred from government for relevant crimes if you were putting him in charge of like whatever commission like you know mandates a loto or something then yeah all right like you know them, but, you know, maybe HUD, you know, don't want them, I don't know, things that have money

they could take. What's NASCAR has got no money? They have, like, two satellites. What's he going to sell the satellites on eBay to pay for, you know, horse gambling? Maybe. Maybe. What is, what do you, what's, what's the worst crime you would let a cabinet level guy? I mean, is that cabinet level even, you know, whatever.

Maybe I mean shoplifting You'd be okay for shop for like Name shoplifting like more Maybe like normal human crimes Let's assume you couldn't have crimes Let's phrase it this way So shoplifting will become

One of your exceptions Does that apply Are you comfortable with every cabinet position Having that or would you like you know Well the problem is you don't want to go too far with that Because then you get people like that that non-binary guy who was stealing an African

woman's clothing. Sure. But it was, you know, but any, I'm saying, you're cool of any cap, or would you rule out attorney general, is my point? Can the attorney general shoplifted? I'm thinking universally,

all cabinet positions. Every cabin position, it doesn't matter what, you could, you could have stolen a bunch of makeup, put it in your fooper. Yeah. No one knows any different.

You're shoving lipstick inside yourself. Maybe. And you need a little rat pocket. Maybe like, you know, public drunkenness. Sure. You know, for the men, it could be, like, I think of traplifting as more of a girl's crime. Yeah.

Maybe, like, for the men, it's more like, you know, if you're on the sex offender registry because you were caught urinating in public. Right. Okay. Yeah. Come on. I think I'm okay with it.

like murder one murder one not but not like not like a bunch you get you get one but not like a bunch you get one murder doesn't matter the circumstances of the murder um but can't be I don't want I don't want to nominate any school uh guys you guys do schools I'll I'll give a you know a what you call that a morsel to the to the opposition okay No school, you know, guys. But wife killers? Well, I mean, I, look, these are inflammatory terms. Everyone's someone to have someone.

Everyone's someone's son, right? Are family annihilators welcome in the Trump cabinet? No, but you didn't hear me. I said one. Okay. One. All right. If you had one single dad, then maybe.

Maybe I was, maybe our new secretary of state was your family annihilator, but only to you, because there was just one guy, you know? Yeah, I think that's fine. I think everyone's entitled to one. Now, it doesn't mean you, like, it doesn't mean we let people out of jail to become Secretary of State or, you know, or Defense Secretary. But we just, you know, if you served your time or you got off or, you know, or whatever, or if you evaded capture efficiently, yeah, I mean, the good, the, the press, look, this

country used to be a lot smaller. And effectively, we let the president be above the law for a lot of things. I feel like, you know, as the country gets bigger, why not expand that to the cabinet a little bit? Right. Let them come in a couple of murders. What's the big deal? You still got to vote them in. I'm not saying, like, the most depraved guy who don't, like, if you, you know, or what's the cabinet?

I guess you don't. But it looks bad for the president then. If you vote for a president who nominated, you know, a murder who you don't like, if you really have that best of an issue with it, that's what voting's for Right You know But I think they should be a lot I think everyone deserves

A second chance And I think you know We men need to be men Men are just kind of like We've allowed Ben to get watered down And get a little soft Now I'm not saying that It makes you a man to do that

But you know It's just like Let's not rule people out Just because they have to have A couple bodies on them Well one body One body Only one

I mean maybe maybe a certain class Like maybe transportation secretary and like you know that rank in below you have two but the big ones you know state treasury defense one body and i'll stand by that i'll stand by you so i think that's yeah look i think i think i think we got to the bottom of everything i mean we figured out why america is in pain and we figure out how we're going to stop it by just uh just letting just letting killers in the White House. That's a problem.

Or not. God bless. God bless the troops. God bless America. God bless all the troops. All right. You're welcome. As Joe Biden always used to say, God,

I'm trying to be a good for tuning in. We'll see you all next week. Members of subscribe. Thank you. Patreon.com. Have a great day. Thank you.