Kump - Ep. 240 The Epstein Movie

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

We cast the Epstein Biopic Film.🎧 Subscribe on Patreon for bonus episodes every week:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/raykump

Hello, and welcome to Kump. Hello. It is the last week of the year. It seems very clear to me that the government's not going to release anything about this case. this Epstein case that we don't already know. They're holding it all in. We're just going to get blacked out file after blacked out file. They found a million more files in New York somewhere, probably in a sewer.

And they're going to spend a few weeks looking through those blacking them out. So that's just what we're going to get. So in light of that, I feel like maybe there's one thing we can get that we have been denied for years now, which is an Epstein movie. I don't know how we don't have an Epstein movie. We had a Waco movie, like, before the thing even burned down. There was a movie with a guy from Wings. You remember Wings on NBC?

Yeah. There was a Waco movie they made after the ATF raid. There was two raids on Waco. Oh, wow. So before all the children burned, before all the carnage. They greenlit a TV movie with the guy from Wings. And he wasn't bad. And they had a little title card at the end and said, you know, subsequently,

burned out you know sorry we didn't include that in the movie so I'm just saying why is there not been a major motion picture about this Jeffrey Epstein case I think that I think that we're owed that maybe more

we're owed more but we're not going to get more so I just want I would like to kind of work with you lose the maybe it's kind of pitch you know about writing things and pitching things how you know whether we that's not casting for

Yeah, let's talk casting. We're here to make an Epstein film, and we get to the plot later. We can get to the elevated stakes and the, you know, the hero's journey later. We can map all that out. Right. Jeffrey. All right, so who are we thinking of for Jeffrey Epstein? Epstein is the hardest one.

He's the number. He's the main muchado. I think we have a couple of options. you can go over the Tim Robbins That's a good pick Tim Robbins He can you know He's such a great man

You know he him and Susan Sarandon His old wife They just do all the good in the world Right and there's an eerieness about him There's a you know It's like he I feel like he usually plays You know a sort of a hero Well in Mystic River he killed the girl

Oh okay right yeah And I'm pretty sure in Shawshank Redemption he also killed his wife. I don't buy that. I don't buy that he was innocent the whole time. I'm not sure what the contrivance of Shorchang is. I think it's all in his head. And the reality is he brutally shot his wife.

And he would never actually like separated at the time. I forget. Is it supposed to be ambiguous at all? Or is it just like, or is it just supposed to be no he was falsely convicted? I think he, I think most of the way through he claims he's innocent. and everyone's like, yeah, everyone's in here. And then later on, that guy who they shot

said he talked to a friend again, the cellmate in a different prison. And he, and he's like, oh, he admitted to the murder. Why he admitted on some banker, remember? And there seemed like a weird detail. I feel like he made that up. I feel like he shot his wife in cold blood. I mean, he's a cold blood if you find her cheating?

I don't know. They were separated, though, in my version of events. Whatever. He's a bad, he can play a bad guy. Tim Robbins is a good pick. I have an idea, too. Yeah. It's a little bit of a counterintuitive casting.

Sure. But what about, what have Paul Rudd played? Paul Rudd. That's a, I mean, you're doing him a little bit of a favor, Jeffrey Epstein. For sure. Some people find him attractive. Yeah. I've seen women say, you know, ooh, what an attractive man when they see him.

And I thought it was really inappropriate. and you're really underplaying the whole the scope of the child trafficking and whatnot. But I digress. Yeah. But, you know, there's always ladies like that. Yeah. You want to talk about how much, how much they love the guy who heard a bunch of women. Yeah.

Oh, I don't care what he did. Well, wait a second and find out. I don't care if he stole bread, wasn't it? A little salt and pepper, Paul Rudd. Yes. Yeah, I feel like he would capture the kind of, um, the aspect of Epstein that was, you know, the party guy everybody liked. Right. Right.

Like, do you think he was a party guy? He seemed like a weird, a slightly weirder party guy. I don't think he was the guy. I feel like the guy, whatever set he was in, you know, uh, party, you know, New York's social scene. I don't, I mean, I get he, he would show up at events, but I always got the impression of him and Jelaine. were like, oh, those two oddballs who have a lot of money and, you know, they're connected and a lot of dirt on me.

Yeah, right, right. But, like, I didn't get the impression that they were like, rock on tours. They were like, oh, yeah, she's always grabbing his feet on the plane. That's weird. I mean, look, no, I could be wrong. I mean, they, you're right.

They do seem to be a lot of pictures with Jeline with a big cans out, you know, arms around some, you know, with a male debutante. Bill Clinton. Trump, whatever. Look, I don't personally think it's side-splitting that, like, Epstein made a little cartoon

of a naked woman or naked girl, whatever, whatever it was. Or Trump, oh, Trump was a woman. No, Trump's the artist. Okay. Yeah. Don't forget that. Oh. Trump's the gym. Who's the guy made Garfield?

You know, I completely mixed that out. I thought it was something like Epstein drew for Trump or something. You think he was like, he was hired by Trump's writing a comic book? But, uh, Either way. Who did it, Paul Rudd? No, Paul Rudd could do it. I mean, does Paul Rudd ever play any kind of dark evil?

Not really. He's so light. But that's why he's due. He's due for something like that. I guess happy to see that a little bit of darkness of him, but not much. What about a Ben Stiller? Now, that's good. I feel like Ben Stiller could be a little creepy, could be a little, you know,

or just getting older kind of weird He can play a rageful basket case Right and kind of like a A slightly like Because Epstein's not like a great looking guy He's a good guy, he's not an ugly guy per se But he's got like in the same way

Ben Stiller's not like a you know I guess Ben Still was probably more traditionally attractive Maybe But I'd say they have a similar kind of vibe Like a strange head Right You know Uh

rectangular head rectangular head um i hope i hope it's only have in common who would know right i don't hang out in holly weird um one more he's done something like this i feel like he wasted his chance on the guy no one cared about this guy i'm going to mention beloved guy uh he could probably anchor i don't know what we want him because maybe he brings too much like you know like you know the traditional logic would say you want some someone that the audience can, you know, root for even though he's evil. I don't know if we want that in this case. Right. Perhaps why they haven't made the movie yet. Steve Carell. Steve Carell. He did Foxcatcher at No, DuPont, Jim DuPont or whatever guy's name was.

Very good movie, but no, who's hell knew? Like, you know, it's a weird case. He played it very creepy. He could just take that same makeup job, just having to be Epstein. Right. Doesn't matter. Like, honestly, I would take Carrell on a heartbeat. Yeah, I think he would add a lot of.

humanity to it. Do we want that? I don't know. I feel like, I feel like, I mean, there's humanity to, I mean, there's been, humanity has been injected into worse people, arguably, in the movies. Sure. Like, like, who? I mean, I mean, Hitler in downfall has some humanity.

Oh, yeah. I mean, look, well, he was a human being. If what you mean is that he had a dog. Yeah, no, I'm not looking, I'm not looking to make a movie where Jeffrey Epstein is literally like, you know, dressed like Satan and he's got a little pitchfork. No, I think action speak for them. I think, you know, you can have

a dog and still be evil. Right. That's, you know, I mean, people who get to this whole, I've heard that, well, they humanize him. Humanize him because he, you know, he showed he used a bathroom. He had digestive problems. Oh, what a, what a great man. I don't understand people.

Like, what you, who do you think does things? Animals? Weird aliens? We're all, humans. Everyone evil in history has been human. That's true. What he would talk humanize them? We're all human. Humans do terrible things.

Well, yeah, that's true. It is all human beings to do evil things. For some reason, we're dumb and we can't. It's hard for us to relate that. It's hard for us to, it's hard for us to admit to ourselves that that everyone in our government abuses

children. Every single person. It's hard for us to that. Every single person who's ever had power in this entire world is a PDF file. What about the victims? Who should play the victims?

I have an idea for that. I think, but first we should get a very good idea for that. Okay. But first we should get to the the body to with Clyde. Oh, yes, of course. the the the jiggith who is what that makes sense no i know the jaysie anymore uh the jane

who should play jane maxwell i think we're looking at we need we need someone fiery i i who's the one oh i know who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one play tar oh oh uh that's i always forget i always just there's three of them oh kate lanchette knock out of the park perfect give her the part or Tilda Swinton Tilda Swinton is a little weird She could do it

I would take it You need someone who's kind of like attractive but kind of an odd ball Yeah Jolene wasn't a bad woman You know those shots You know it's like it's Little androgynous I would call her antrogynous

What Jeline? Ever so slightly androgynous I don't think she didn't try I mean yeah I'm not saying she's a She's the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model But you know She was an attractive

of enough woman. Maybe I'm confusing and drudeness with just... You think she's not binary? You think she's the they, them? Well, I don't know. I mean, she sleeps upside down like a bat. Who does? Jislane.

Delane sleeps upside. I never heard this. She sleeps like a bat? Yeah. Where you've heard this? She was rumored to sleep upside down like a bat. I didn't know that. For her complexion.

Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, that changes things, I guess. I guess it's supposed to resist gravity or something? Do we, do we factor in some kind of plot point where she talks to bats?

Where she plays with bats. That is supernatural element. Maybe the bats factor into the abuse, I don't know. You know? Right. Maybe she uses, you know, bats to communicate in prison. Maybe this whole thing's told through flashbacks of Jolene in prison.

And she's like bats all around. She's like, oh, my bat friends, hello. You believe, you believe that I'm innocent. and they go, meh-h-no. Oh, my pardon's going terribly. I do think the island should have some kind of supernatural element. The island, look, I don't want to make anyone feel like a certain way about anything, but the island should have a castle, like a dark castle on it.

They go, oh, it's kind of, you're disgracing people. I don't think I am. I think it's fine to change facts. I mean, I'm telling, I'm telling the story. of Jeffrey Epstein, whether or not, you know, like, you know, and whether or not I have to lie a little bit to get, you know, visually to put you in the scene, wait, you want to just be like, you know,

what, like a bunch of tents and a villa? You're like, you're like Nolan. I'm like, I'm like, you're trying to create a myth. Oh, you're not just trying to be accurate. You're trying to create a new American myth. Right. I'm trying to make tenant too. I want to be time travel involved.

I want to have time to. whether it's dream time or it's or maybe maybe it's a thing where when you abuse someone they perceive time differently and you can use because you could use them to time travel well that's a little bit true right like isn't that what it's supposed isn't that YMK ultra molested kids or something well I think that that was more to create Manchurian Canada type things I think called like personality alters where you're like where you'd be like I guess the end it's not because time slows down from your perspective and you get superpowers no I think the idea that they claim is that

we, well, the idea, that we abuse the kids to create a situation, like, where they have a separate personality, that we could trigger, I guess, by abusing them again. And then, like, and then they can go shoot, you know, some, some dictator. Yeah. Or some guy, some labor,

some labor leader, whatever, you know. I do think that that no one actually believed that would work, and it was just an excuse to abuse kids at work. Right. Yeah. Or it was like It was really the acid Making them do that

But it's like You know They were just taking the acid They were supposed to be dosing people with And that's why they're pedophiles Maybe I was saying the acid is what actually made someone Under your control

But it was just like At that at that point They're a perfect Molestation victim Well sure Because their brain is broken by acid Right Yeah I don't know

I mean look It sounds crazy There were guys like sir-hand, sir-hand seems like a weird guy. His whole situation seems very weird. Maybe some other ones. There's probably some other ones, too. Where, like, I'm not saying he was part of this abuse thing.

Maybe they just drugged them. Maybe whatever. I don't know how anything works. It just seems like some people seem to be real-life mentoring candidates, for lack of a better return. Right. And that's fine. That's not fine.

It's horrible, but in my in the movie, I feel like time travel could be a night It'll capture the imagination a little more No, it's good, you know, it's like people gonna like what is this a reboot of Meriturian Canada? No, that was a movie. We're talking about a real You know, we get into that whole situation and we call you hold this Uh, account, you know, compare against that film. Just make it time travel. It's our that's our they're doing like a time Heist maybe like an Avengers. I like that. Yeah, it's still I mean, they're still abusing kids You can still, like, it's, no one's trying to hide what they're doing.

We're just changing the motives around a little bit. It's Hollywood. Hollywood still exists for now, right? Yeah. It's going away. But, you know. I'd say so. But we, you know, these are the rules of Hollywood lives by.

You don't make it 100% accurate. You can just watch the news if you want that. You know, this guy probably taped everything he ever did in his life. Go watch his blackmail tapes if you want to see what really happened. kidding they won't show them to you blacked out so we have we have Ben Stiller Ben Stiller or Steve Correll

or Steve Correll and Cape Blanchett Cape Blanchett and Playing the evil couple And then we have Maybe Philipsymore Hoffman's kid Is just that hanging around As an extra guy I like the idea of him being involved

I mean I'd love to have the real Philip Schumer Hoffman But he's you know passed away Unfortunately and I don't like nepotism, but I mean, I just kind of want, like a Phil C. Seymour-Hoffman-type guy hanging around. I kind of like the idea of his son might actually make a good Matt Greaning. Oh, the Simpsons creator.

Wasn't he on the plane at one point? Look, he was. Who knows what he did? But yeah, why not? Look, I love The Simpsons. I don't want his crimes, whatever they may be, to be some huge part of this. but I think it's good to acknowledge the cultural range

If I was on that plane And I didn't do anything I would be like That's all I would talk about By the way you know I was on that I was on that plane I didn't I didn't go on any island I don't know what's talking about

I was just every time I talked to me Yeah I was on that Bepstein plane And nothing happened It's so weird I mean it was just They could not believe me But I would never show These people like just take quiet

all the time hope it goes away and it seems to be working so i don't feel bad at my point yeah whatever he's also got other stuff doesn't he um accusations i don't care i'm not trying to do a scarlet letter right but i mean yeah you're right put put him there put stephen pinker the guy who he woke up he's like where am i what am i doing all i'm playing oh malcolm gladwell yeah noam shomsky what am i doing on his plan i think noam shamsky should be in the film He should be played by Who's, like, a nerdy guy who he can get? Maybe Niles from Cheers.

David Hyde Pierce plays Domchomsky. Oh, I like that. And his whole thing, he's kind of the, of the heist. He's like the brains of the heist. You know, he's the guy putting, like, Jeffrey Epstein's kind of the Danny Ocean, the George Clooney of it all. But he's more like the guy with a plan, Jeffrey, Domchomsky, the famous linguist in MIT.

I like that. what do you think uh i i feel like a lot of these narratives they work especially well if you have somebody who's kind of a fish out of water yeah somebody who's just getting introduced to this world somebody who's uh right you need like an ingenue i mean in this case that sounds horrible well you know is it is it one of the victims right well i guess yeah i guess it could be uh that seems that seems that seems callous though maybe maybe there is like a um do we do we set it up as if they're part of some secret society of swindlers and child abusers. You know, and some guy, I mean, we have to probably bring someone, if we're going to

bring someone along, the audience is going to care about it. They can't be a real person, like real, they should be a real person, but they can't be a real player. Player on the Epstein situation. It should be, you know, we passed on them for this. Paul Ruther playing himself getting recruited

into the Epstein circle and he's not liking it that's why he would take the part perhaps he might say and his agent might say this is a real career killer this is a horribly

inappropriate film and should never be made he's going to do everything and can not get made maybe but he might like it because he's the moral compass of the whole situation

he's the one who says this is wrong right He's the whistleblower. In reality, I don't think there was a whistleblower. I mean, there was like a victim who could like hold the cops or something. There was no pull-rod type. But that's a little bit. This is like we went.

It would be kind of interesting if there was like a little bit of a, of a, this is the end element to it. Sure. There's a whole cast of people who play themselves. Yeah. Heightened versions of themselves. Who have different levels of involvement in the ring. Right.

Right. Right. Now, the problem with that is a very few people who actually have any involvement in, you know, Jeffrey Epstein will take this part. Also, anyone else might not. But I mean, definitely if you're, if anyone who's on the plane,

I mean, that would be so crazy if they did. I mean, imagine if they, imagine if like Bill Clinton agrees to be in the film. I don't know. Maybe he's just, he's like, oh, man, he'll get me some, you know, some girls. There'll be some girls on the set. There'll be some women.

Young women? I think, sure. maybe, you know, youngish. You know. That also kind of remind, that reminds me that could be like an interesting dynamic in the movie. It's like if, I don't know who we want to have play Bill and Hillary Clinton. Yeah. That's a big casting decision.

Sydney community plays Hillary Clinton immediately 100%. Honestly, it's not that bad. I mean, it's flattering to Hillary, but I mean, it's just, but she is like a bustier. Like, she wasn't that bad looking at her youth. Right. But this doesn't happen. her youth. This isn't happened. This wasn't in the 60s at Harvard or wherever she went

or Yale, what did she go? This happens like, yeah, when she was kind of an annoying, brash woman in the 90s or 2000s. Do we age up Sidney at all or do we just let her be? Well, we're going to be doing a lot of age manipulation. It sounds terrible in this film because I forgot we put a pin in that before. So we might as well just

you know, yeah, age her up. Because what I want to do with the victims, the parts of the film, it sounds terrible. I'd like to use technology that was featured in, like, the Irishman, for instance, de-aging technology, and we de-age known actors to play victims. So no one feels weird, right? Yeah. We get, like, a Kevin Spacey. He's, he needs some money.

He'll do, he'll, look, look, here's our, actually, you know what? Our break the glass choice for casting is Kevin Spacey. He'll play apps to you. I mean, it's not the best visually look He's a good actor And he'll do it He needs money I bet he would do an amazing Epstein

Even though he looks nothing like him Well, we'll grate his hair Whatever, yeah It's not the best visual choice He's a great actor We'd be lucky to get him Maybe I mean we can probably make a random movie right now

And get him If we put the money out How much money do you think he would cost? How bad is it for him? 50 grand I know that I know that when he was at the top of his game.

Oh, well, yeah. He did sometimes, like, he would do these, like, short films or something for, like, not, you know. Oh, really? Like, just to support smaller artists. I know he did that. He might not be in that position anymore.

Yeah, I don't. I think he's doing that to support his mortgage. But, uh, yeah, though, he's our break the glass guy. Yeah. But if we do get, uh, if we do, who do we say, Ben Stiller? If we get Ben Stiller, then maybe we'll have,

will have a de-aged Kevin Spacey play a victim, which will be kind of ironic for most people. I mean, that would be really, really bold. It would, because he's been accused of a lot of things. He's been accused of a lot of things himself. He is not female. Oh, right, they're all female. I forgot.

It's all, they're all for your own female, right? But it's so strange. It says a strange idea. I do kind of really want to see it. more than anything else. That's an interesting thing. I mean, what we know about

the Epstein situation. Imagine if he played Epstein and a D.A.H. victim. I mean, honestly, the way things are looking with this script that we're developing,

he might have to play everybody. He's just going to be a one-man play movie. The one man who has nothing to lose, Kevin Spacey. Oh, man. He's the only man

who can speak the truth right now. I mean, here it's a good, you bring up a good point. I know the Epstein thing was always these girls, right? The ideas, though, that they were also catering, you know, catering. I mean, like, you know, supplying victims to powerful people. Right. Was there no young guys? I mean, it probably was, right?

Yeah, we always hear about young girls being a thing. You would think that if he was a career trafficker, he might at some point get into the business of boys. Yeah. But yeah. But I guess he didn't. It probably had, yeah, maybe not. You know, I guess even in child sex trafficking, there's specialization.

You think he got to, you think he priced himself out of the market? So, right. So let's get a pool of people who can play D.A. All right, so it's not, so no, no, because I was going to get, like, a Dame McBride and D.H.M. I was going to get, like, a James Franco and D.HM. All those Appetal guys who don't do that much anymore, you know, Franco's brother. You know, all those guys would be greatness. So you were thinking of only men.

Well, I, you know, that will not recalibrate. I'm sorry. I'm, I'm in a sarcastic, I guess. I wanted to cast Dave Rango as a pregnant victim, the age's victim. um so who do we got we're de-aging so i mean the sky's the limit i don't know if we can get like jame dutty dinch but maybe honestly what if we did get james jame judey dinch to play a victim it would be an interesting cast i mean she's not i i iron the height of irony right i just imagine the victim's tending to be kind of vulnerable yeah young young girl she's not sure she can

play vault you know hey judy play vulnerable please Have us, have less demure. And, uh, Dame Judy Dench, like, she usually plays powerful, kind of matriarch figures. Well, because everyone wants to see a cowering old woman. Right. You know? It's just, yeah. It's gross.

Yeah. Nothing like, nothing I want less is an old woman, Mrs. Doubtfire, trying to, like, get, you know, trying to boss James Bond around, you know. You just feel like, get to fucking out here. I'll kill you. I'm a spy. Uh, no, but yeah. So who are, so what?

That's a good point. There should be more Sands than James Bond. Right. Where she tries to tell him what to do and he's just like, don't talk to me like that, you old bag. I'll break every bone in your face. Yeah, I mean, honestly, James Bond should, there's no reason he would not hit women. This guy.

We've built up as a society. He's just, you know, he was, he, the real of him would just be like, you know, you You can't give a guy a license to kill, and then, like, tell her that boss be as a woman. Yeah. You know, she's going to kill her. Yeah. Who else is elderly? That we, that might be better.

Helen Mirren. She's still alive, right? She's, people like her. She's, she's elderly, and she's pretty attractive. You know, honestly, you could de-h her. She'd be great. She was in Excalibur. you know just get i mean have her be like how she was next caliber maybe younger she's a victim

i mean we're not showing scenes here you know we're not we're not having like awful abuse scenes right yeah we're not going to be graphic i just you know disrespectful but i don't even want like you know actual teenage women or even in the 20s in this movie right i don't want you know i don't give them the satisfaction oh yeah you don't even want the people who did this yeah of impropriety Right. This is not going to be something you get titillated by. You can be watching old women play young girls. So good luck getting titillated by that, you pita bastards.

There's a lot of integrity than that. I like that. Thank you. Robin Wright. See, on the Patreon recently, I got a lot of flack because I just said, you know, in Princess Bride, I thought Robert Wright was perfectly attractive, beautiful. But, like, not the height of, like, you know, she wasn't the end-all be-of-women. You basically called her a mid-pegy.

I don't know, but, you know, but I'm saying Robin Wright, you know, famous for Princess Bride and then have some cards. She's got a prior relationship with the, with Kevin Spacey. That might help. It might hurt. But she would be great. D.H. Sure. Or should we not even de age it?

We just have old women. Is that part of the trope of this film? Right. So old women are playing young girls getting abused. I mean, it's, it's adventurous for sure. I mean, I think they should at least. be old women dressed as young girls. Yes.

How we're like a school girl after? We don't know how we do this. We'll put Dame Judy Denshan pigtails or something. Does she have one of those like, you know, like bubble chains? You know, like girls had in the graves back in the day. Right, yeah. I was that raves, you know. The little bubble.

I don't know. Stuff like that. She's a rave girl. Right. She's a rave girl who gets ensnared in Jeffrey Epstein. island claimed by Ben Stiller. Interesting. One more. We need one more woman.

One more elderly, kind of old woman. How about Viola Davis? Yeah, I mean, sure. They're going to want, you know, she is a great actress. They're going to want, not everyone to be white. I wonder if in this case, if they still want that. He still wanted, you know, diversity in this film.

He wants to force diversity on this one? Are you cool? without it. I feel like I feel like I get a pass. Maybe one thing. Paul Dano. He can play a woman. Yeah.

He's a delicate guy. I'm not thinking a shot at him. He's a good actor. You know, it'd be bold. And he's looking for allies probably now. Yeah, because Tarantino's trying to swipe. Tarantino's trying to swipe him.

So, you know, he's on these other. I mean, I think everyone's kind of rallied around Paul Dano. he's having a moment time to cash in paul we're we're team dano we're team dano how about you be team us play one of abstein's victim sign on sign a letter of intent i need to get financing play a victim please that'll be huge if we get james duty dinch james james judey dinch and paul dana was victims and we go this movie to the money people and then we here's our wish list Ben Stiller. Tilda Swinton.

Cooper Hoffman. Not Cooper Hoffman. That's the other one. Oh, yeah, Cooper Hoffman. This is great. What should the plot be? It's something on a time travel thing. I think, well, first of all, who's going to play Bill Clinton?

Right. We need to figure that out. Again, if he says no. If he says no, yeah. Right. I know if he got an opportunity to play against Sidney Sweeney. Oh, yeah. He was a very well made.

Right. So, yeah. Oh, right. We're getting Sidney's playing Jolene? Mm-hmm. Was that what we said? Oh, he's playing Hillary. Hillary.

Right. Well, he's never going to touch her. How, why don't you have played Jolaine? Everybody should rub my feet. Um, yeah, let's see. Let's see. Who's like a chubby-ish kind of, you know, like a guy. who's got

he wasn't like it wasn't a tremendously fat guy he was a little little soft right yeah a little fluffy we still have guys like that anymore not a lot

about Zach Galaphanakis I'll like that yeah right it could work Zach Galaphanakis and Sidney I feel like their love the way their love is tested yeah should be part of the plot right okay so this is this is

really Bill Clinton's movie. Yeah, but No, no, I think it should be part of it. Okay. It should be an ensemble, kind of like, kind of like dead poet society. Kind of like vignettes.

Yeah. Yeah. I was interesting because at the end, you know, I didn't know, I didn't that movie someone was used themselves. Yeah.

Oh, and that was also very unrealistic. Um, okay, so we have, so that Bill Gates should be in the movie, I think.

Bill Gates gets his computer ideas from Epstein, maybe. Maybe, maybe Jeffrey Effey scene comes up with the with Clippy You remember with Clippy for Microsoft

Yes Why don't you have an assistant It's so hard to use these computers Bill Why don't you have an assistant That you know That teaches me how to use it Maybe a paper clip

Like I like that Because Clippy's taking a whole new thing now This is the guy You know that guy Louis Rossman And I watch sometimes He's got a channel Everyone go watch Louis Rossman He's a guy on YouTube

Who does like privacy advocacy see stuff and right to repair. He's got a whole clippy movement going on. So I want to be, you know, just acknowledge him that. What do you mean clippy movement?

He's using that as a, he's telling people to change their profile pictures as a clippy. Do you remember clippy? Oh yeah, of course I remember clipping. Because I forget the exact rationale, but it's a way of protesting something. Okay.

So I'm just, I'm just going to shout out because I wasn't trying to steal his clipy thing, but it's a real thing. So you think Epstein at some point and Vince Clippy in this movie. I think it would be a fun little thing, yeah. Is he, are you imagining him as sort of a Zellig? Like, sort of, sort of a person who, like, he's there.

He's there. For people who have him, Zellig's, like, as Woody Allen's, like, Forrest Gump before Forrest Gump, kind of, right? Yeah. Like, a guy who just kind of, is everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Like, he's just kind of there at the, you know, the inception points of all these.

That would be an interesting way of kind of establishing that, you know, Everyone is involved in this. You know, it's a little metaphorical, it's a little whimsical. It's a little bit, it's one of those things where it's like it's technically untrue, but actually reveal it, it makes it more true. Because in a movie like this, we're not going to have time to put every single person, like what we're going to have like the CEO of Microsoft and CEO of this, like all these different CEOs and plot points that make the, no, but he could be, it'll be a fun scene here where he's been inventes clipy and a fun scene here where he, you know, events the, the mortgage back security. or something. Right. You know?

And just as a way of showing how deeply entrenched into American society on every level this kind of thing is. Yeah. Zellig. I guess Woody Allen

should be in it, right? Yeah, I mean, we could probably get him to direct it. Right. Oh, I thought I was going to direct it. But I guess we'd get a lot Worthy direction.

I don't know. I mean, it would be very problem. I mean, it would be very... I don't know if we're not even going to use, like, child actresses. We probably won't want to be involved then. Right. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm just...

I'm not saying anything. I'm not accusing anyone. I'm just saying he might not like that idea, artistically. You know what I mean? Sure. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Okay.

And... But I... But if we're not even going to use trial that, I mean, we can't. The appearances of having Woody Allen direct it would be crazy. Oh, I thought you were saying he wouldn't want. Oh, you're saying that... He also wouldn't watch it. You were saying it would look bad?

Yeah. Why? Because these accused of many of the same activities. Right. No, look, I would feel bad having a set where anyone, you know, even the crew would have to deal with this guy. Mm-hmm. You know? Maybe.

sure but yeah I agree yeah no sure um but what what if he gets the Academy Award because all his movies lately haven't been that good I haven't seen his new ones like if anything he's gonna get us the palm uvra or whatever like he's the Palm Dior the Palm Dior that's big I think yeah he'd get us some European shit he's not gonna get us an ask you know they say about the Palm Dior I can if they if they if you if you if you're in your ovation last less than 10 minutes it's bullshit which that was crazy and how performative are these people

the standing clapping North Korea yeah I thought they're all like weird dilettons like rich kids they all just give 10 minutes standing ovations I can't imagine anybody like in the upper crust in this country

giving anything a 10 minutes standing ovation I can't imagine not being on free in fentanyl you know they're all just on like you know IVs with all that approved it's not part of the culture anymore but I was a kid I remember I remember as a kid people clapping when the plane landed. What? That doesn't happen anymore.

People clap when the plane landed? Yeah. Patronizing. I thought it was the bad clapping at the movie theater. That became a thing. I mean, honestly, that became a thing when we got older. You know, no one did that when I was a kid. And now when people clap at the end of a movie, which is insane. Who you clap for? The scumbag who didn't clean the theater?

Sticky floor. Well, you know, for a particularly good movie. Who's? it's a movie theater who are you clapping to who's hearing this you clap even why do you clap at home then you might go clap at home you know it's like you clap so that the people who who did the work can hear it you've never clapped at home for no what have you I think I have yeah more movie I mean I forget but I feel like I've seen a couple of movies that were just really good and I clapped well that look that's very i i don't have a problem with that i don't i don't want to

like you know squash out your your hope and dreams don't you ever have the desire to just say bravo i mean look i have been moved by films at home very much you know 2001 space honestly year in the first three years ago all sorts of films the greatest films of all time i've seen at home most of them at least it was you know before i was you know of age to watch films I don't think I have a clap right even though Does that make me a dead person inside Maybe a bit Well maybe I should

Or it's hard to impress Look if Stanley Cooper was in my apartment But I'd clap You'd be a great Beautiful lady What? What? What? What are you talking about?

If you were a beautiful lady Like your standoffishness My standoff it It would be very intriguing Well, you're a woman You can just kind of clap at a movie That someone played off of a Kulu And everyone's like, oh, that's cute, she's clapping

If I do that, they'll put me in a freaking home They'll put me in Bellevue There's millions of people out there Who want me in an institution Just know that So the plot of this film they're trying to steal maybe it's like a national treasure kind of thing

they're trying to steal like a heist well they have to steal Statue of Liberty that's too big but something big but who has to steal it Epstein yeah it's crew

maybe they have to steal the ruby slippers and Smithsonian Institute you know that'll be I like that That fucking Wizard of all shit It's very big now Now by the time we get this movie going

I'm not sure if it will still be Popular And who does he have to steal it for For one of his For one of his Yeah I don't want to disparage I'm a gay guy send to like that shit right They're like the whole Wizard of Rot Dorothy thing

Right Yeah or I guess they used to It's a rich gay guy Yeah It's a very rich gay guy Who's this for The wealthiest gay man ever lived and then like maybe maybe later on you reveal he just wanted himself but whatever it's like

you're stealing for yourself like it's like yeah whatever you know it's intrigue you seem it just seems like you're picking a lot of things you're picking plot points that are interesting don't get me wrong right well yeah but they don't seem related to what epstein is really most infamous we can't just have a film where he's just going on island and abusing kids for two hours there's got to be more he's got we have have a skeleton of a plot that we hang that on. Okay. You know? It's sort of like that, you know, the Paul Rudd

character will be like, oh, this is great. And then he goes, you're in the hotel or whatever, some fancy, the posh hotel, and he sees Epstein going into his room with some young girl, ah, I go with the face of black. And he'll go up next day, and it's like, dude, how was your night? Like, oh, it's great. Anyway, now we have to go, this part of the plot

where we have to turn off the power in D.C. You know? You have these moments, right? Yeah. We can't, this is why no one's made the film yet. You can't have two hours of kids. You know, this is just going to be too much. Right.

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Visit unsmoke.ca. I'm saying. This does sound, this sounds crazy. Well, I know you're on board with this. What is your counter argument? What's your counterproposal? I mean, maybe we can, I'm saying maybe we can tell the story.

yeah through the perspective of a of a person who's uh you know like working on the island but like not like they're they're not one of the pro one of the child they're just they're caterer they're they're uh they're serving uh right yeah like somebody had to serve the food right yeah probably probably people don't speak english i imagine i just i mean but yeah some kind of cater maybe maybe they were uh government government people some government don't Or somebody Wasn't there an altar? Was there an altar?

There was some kind of thing there, right? A ball or something. Yeah. Somebody had to prepare that. Yeah. I'm just the guy building the Titanic Temple. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm just the guy who, I'm just the guy who makes the chocolate fountain for the ball, for the, for the satanic altar. You did a chocolate fountain on that thing? I mean, they put gifts. You put gifts on an altar, right? What?

Do you? I mean, in the old days, they put, like, meats and stuff, like animals. Well, there's sacrificed animals to it. Yeah. You sacrifice as a chocolate fountain? They plug it into the chocolate store? I don't know. I mean, so how does that work in your mind?

You, like, usually in the old days, there'd be, like, a temple priest, right? Right. I think you're describing the old temple, the Jewish temple. When they come in and it'd be a priest, and you have to, like, buy animals upstairs, I think. And then you come in, you hand it to him and he'd butcher it or something. I've never been, I didn't, it's famously not there anymore. In your mind, you're going there and you're bringing, I have to plug this in first.

I'm like, all right, like, be quick. You're like sitting it up. I just add the chocolate now and you're pouring chocolate into this fountain to make a chocolate fountain runs. And he would think of what, like cut in half? Look, I was maybe thinking that people were partaking in the chocolate. the fountain, like, while they were gathering around the altar. This idea got away from me, but I...

There's a treat table, what you're saying. Yeah. All right. Sure. You know, it'd be kind of funny if, if the Paul Rudd character was like, I mean, you really, we need a treat table here? I mean, we have treats all day. And he's like, what's what they want.

They want a try of a fountain. Just to acknowledge that it's kind of like it's, you know, you would think. that if all these they have everything they want but even in the satanic temple they have a little treat table with donuts and chocolate yeah what do you think should be the

what should the climax be I mean it should be him him uh him being like you know hung by unknown man yeah just do the hang or kill or it was you know

killing himself, I guess you could say. It should be ambiguous, kind of. Right. Like, it should be like, like there should be the guy, you know. Like Wolfman, kind of. The action happens off screen. I mean, maybe we should go, maybe the whole thing should be so over the top

where it's like just, it's like the Leon, it's a professional, that movie. Where like, the Brooklyn Attention Center or whatever was. The guy's like, you know, shooting guards, loves and right, because in reality, just the camera wasn't even on. You know, it was like, she's on cops. Right. So we make it this really elaborate.

like killing where like a bunch of people who have to get shot to get the kids Epstein you know because the opposite of what happened

that's a dramatic irony that's the plot but that's kind of that's kind of a post you know the problem is what are you saying we're going to do

we're going to tell the story of Epstein where you want to get rid of the heist um no I like the highest so the height should stay so the heish should happen

and should go back. Maybe that's why they finally arrest them. Because we tolerated you when you were just a child of abuser. And now you're trying to steal the ruby slippers from the Smithsonian Institute. You know, the Museum of America. Now we're going down. Now we're

calling in our chits. And then they arrest them. They hang him. Like, Hamon prison for that. I do... Should the person who hangs him be relevant to his life. It should be Donald Trump.

Donald Trump played by Who's gets to match you stand the flame again You know that friend's movie I think he did a good job Or we get Daryl Hammond I don't you know A lot of people do Trump now Shane Gillis might do it

That's the way I don't wait We got Shane Gillis He does a funny Trump He's just Now you're dead I've got the ruby slippers Do we show Yeah

Is this too insensitive Or do we show The Either official cause of death Or the rumored cause of death Of one of the victims Because it's rumored that one of the victims Was maybe

You know What? Killed? Assassinated Yeah no we'll just have that happen I don't care We assume many There's a lot of things you can see me for

Yeah I mean They're going to probably kill me to make If I make this movie Just because it's like weird You know Sure You think they'll let me make this movie

Not real, no No They're gonna, you know I'm gonna be a famous like martyred artist If I make this Like Picasso He was like he was killed Picasso was killed

Wasn't he? He probably was I thought he died of old age I thought he died And he cut his ear off Oh that's Van Go Right, right, right. I didn't confuse us.

There is that anecdote about it. Maybe this might be what you're thinking. There is that anecdote about Picasso. Yeah. Where he painted Guernica. Right. You know, that big kind of like crazy scene of all this death. And then like there's a rumored interaction where some fascist or whatever, Spanish fascist or something was like, you know, did you do this painting or whatever?

And then Picasso was like, no, you did this. Like, you did the, you did the massacre. Wow. No, I went to Peyton. No, yeah, but I met at the panic. Right. It's good, it's good, it's well painted. I did, I did, I did kill some people, you're right.

But, uh, I have to give me a dick about it. I was just going to pay a compliment, but whatever. I was going to say it's got a cool. Yeah. You got it right. it nailed it um what

who should score the film was that important should we get like a popular pop artist to score it the way you have like you know music by like the Riza like the Rizzo right right yes

maybe maybe can we get like a chopper roan who or um or Britney Spears I would kind of like it if Pink Pony Club became, like, the official song. There should be a slow-motion Pink Pony Club, you know, a slow-down-up, and just Epstein's like the Ruby Slippers, and it's just like, I don't know why I decided, it's a ridiculous thing to steal, but I like the image of it.

That would be the poster, him wearing Ruby slippers. Yeah, it's provocative. Right. There's no place like home, but it's the White House or something with a conness. I don't know. Both. Boat. But what bag of Britney Spears maybe?

Yeah, like a... You probably get her. Should I probably do a music video for this. I mean, what should the song... First of all, what's your... I'm trying to figure out what... A pop song, based on this movie, it would be called. Hit me a one more time.

You just wanted her to do. Hit me a little more time. Toxic, it's good, you know. Yeah, no. to me, but you know that I'm toxic. It's just him like, yeah, it's all we got to do. Like, almost like a horror movie version of taxis. He can do it when she can rework the, that's why we want to get hurt.

We don't want to chat. Shop of Rome's like that thing is going on. She's too busy. We get Brittany and she does a candle in the wind, but she rewrites the lyrics. You know? Like, you know, he wrote that, like, Elton John wrote that song about who? Uh, Barrel Monroe. And then Prince Dan and died, he's like, oh, just reworked this song.

Why not use it twice? Use it for her, too. made new lyrics. We'll just do that with toxic. And maybe more time. That's why you don't pay for the best artists, because they won't customize

it for you. Or the most relevant artists. And it's also, she was also probably, you know, in many ways, was abused. Or maybe she's just crazy. I don't know. It doesn't seem like people treat them well. no yeah

what uh what academy awards do you think will win we're getting ahead of ourselves here but I mean if we do this if we do this time manipulation thing yeah I feel like we're shooing for best editing right okay it's gonna be like paul fiction but better or like world memento you know it's gonna be also

three different way it's gonna be told through multiple time periods but also multiple dreams and multiple his dream heisting it's all that shit they're doing a tenant thing they run backwards you know

and shit like that we're gonna do all the tricks all the tricks the story within a story yeah that people love from a princess bride right well Fred Savage

telling the story of Hepstein he's a 50 year old man or 60 year old man it's fine we'll have a you know at the end we'll do like you know tribute to Rob Brynner

yeah No, RIP, Rob, Meathead, we miss you. Do you think it's wrong to call him Meathead? Yeah, I mean, I think people will just assume that, like, that's something you call them because you were close. No, it's, it was on TV for years. You just didn't watch the old in the family. It was his name. He was the Meathead.

He would say, Mehat, shut out, Meathead. What, you don't believe me. You think I'm lying. I mean, I'm lying about that. Just talking. where Amanda was killed. I don't think you would lie on purpose. But I, what do you think it should be called?

It should be called, um, the shape of water. Um, no, it should be called, um, I mean, like, look, we'll make a, some options. I mean, it was just the standard way I just call it Epstein, right? That's one. Um, or Jeffrey. you know uh what about what if it was called jeff app

that's so dumb jeffat uh sometimes like in the movie like people who are really close to him like you try get that go like hey jeffap what up hey hey

and they put the Polaroid character was like oh the guy just called you Jeff App yeah it's kind of something my friends calling me oh can I call you Jeff Ep and like not yet but then it turns out everyone calls him Jeff Ep the child abuser hmm that's it's a metaphor or something

allegory right yeah cram full of this stuff um now so those are all names of the movie we're following around the name but maybe it should be some other ones like um the cost of doing business that's not a bad name that's not a bad name yeah that's actually a good name I mean that's actually too good the cost of doing business that's actually it means a lot but also it's nothing you know it's evocative it's actually

I might call it that the cost of doing business I like it a lot yeah it's kind of reminiscent of like all the money in the world or sure this actually means something but this is actually great this is actually cutting because it actually is behind it's the currency behind the currency the Federal Reserve should be in this film

Ben Bernanke I don't know if he's involved in the case but Ben Bernanke yeah Paul Giamaldi played Ben Bernanke again he played in that HBO movie he was really good just getting we're running back they'll probably say no what if

what if Paul Giamaldi played that obscene he's a great to watch he's a great actor he's a great actor oh shit you know I left out Bishammy well Bichette could be yeah Bisham could be Vince Vaughn

Vince Vaughn could be a good Epstein he could be you gray him up and he's like and you make him likable but like it'll sleep easy?

Yeah. I take him over Ben Stiller. I think we're doing this. You know what? John Favre could play Bill Clinton. That's kind of great. Thank you.

We're doing this. The cost of doing business. It comes out. Let's be conservative. 2030. Yeah. That's true. You know, we did on the Patreon,

you know, the other day, we pitched the idea for Ben Affleck to play more at Luzer King, and that was going to come out in 20th, 30 to just push that, or do you think that's going to out first? I think the world needs this more. Yeah, it's more pertinent.

Yeah. Yeah, okay, so we're pushing back to MLK Ben Affleck movie. People think they want justice. They think that they want people to go to prison for people to face consequences. Right. But really, they just want someone to give voice to their pain in the form of a movie. Yes, and they want the movie to have

No one wants a boring movie Victims aren't going to be happy if your movie sucks They want a hit They want a hit where they're acknowledged They don't want a realistic bomb That's terrible They want sensational movie You know William, you think William Wallace's descendants

Would prefer it if you told a real story of William Wallace Instead of Braveheart They would spit in your face They love Braveheart People glaze them all the time Because they're the Wallace family The real William Wallace is just very different I forget but it's just not like that movie

But they prefer the fiction We get it when they read Academy Award I mean blacklisted from Hollywood Are you ready for your whole world to turn upside down I can't weigh it What All the money Costume business

what are you going to wear the red carpet I'm going to wear I'm going to dress up like can we dress up like a Batman and Robin ooh I was going to say I was going to dress up like some kind of weird king like from the playing cards

but that's you know like an Air Austin Waldenland kind of thing but yeah Batman and Robin is also good will I be Robin or you probably be Batman that I'd be Robin Okay, that's good. I'll do a costume change halfway through the award show and I'll also be the penguin. What?

So do we leave anyone out? There's a lot of people involved with this. There's too many, really, to be in the game, but. Jeff Daniel should be in somewhere. Oh, yeah. He should play, uh, he should play some prosecutor he's always prosecuting people it's about it's a bad justice

I'll show you justice he'll less them he should play a prosecutor with a child wife but it's somehow a legal child wife how is it legal and that's his whole identity it's like he's like I you know it's like I follow the law

I'm sure I don't have a heap of file do but I followed the law this is actually legal and like he went to like some country you did it. Terrible. Wow. Yeah. Just to show that everybody's a little bit seedy.

Everyone's a little bit morally compromised. Everyone's involved. Turn the lens back on the audience. Yeah. Jack Nicholson isn't it for a minute. You're no better than the epithelic, hypocritical prosecutor, are you? Jack Nicholson's like, you can't handle the truth.

We just do AI for that. We get sore to do it. Yeah, you know, like a suit, but I wanted to have, I wanted to have a kind of a space jam too kind of vibe where everyone's in it. Every character is. Oh, man. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah. The cost you in business coming.

Christmas, 2030. No one's, you know. So it's all you're going to get. That's how I'm trying to tell you. It's all we're going to get is this. Like you're not So thanks for You know

I'm sure someone out there works In some part of the film industry Show to your boss I don't need to get paid a lot I mean artists Right Yeah No you want money

All right Give us some money Thanks to tuning in And Supporting the show by watching it We're back You know I was sick for a few weeks

don't worry about it we'll talk about next time uh have a good night and uh patreon dot com for extra episodes have a good day Thank you.