Kump - Ep. 262 WHO KILLED LINDSEY GRAHAM?

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/raykump Support the show + get bonus episodes every week.Trump threatens to destroy Iran if he’s assassinated, Lindsey Graham dies after touring a Ukrainian drone factory, and Mitch McConnell finally provides proof of life. Ray also talks about the war restarting in Hormuz, America’s dwindling supply of political talent, and Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey.

The United States and Iran are back at war, and President Trump has instructed his generals that if he is assassinated, they should destroy Iran more than usual. And if you think that's ironic, since he was the one who had Iran's supreme leader killed, that I suggest you watch the new season of Love Island and stop being a communist. The age of reason is long gone, but we're also done with the concept of reasons. There are none. This reality is all about fields, like jazz. Sure, we could talk about some ships getting blown up in Hormuz,

but really, Trump is just riffing. Summer's here, we're all hot, he could feel our interests start in the dip. You may not realize it, but you were a couple of days away from asking, whatever happens, there was Epstein docks. Lindsay Graham died, hours after inspecting a weapons factory in Ukraine. They'll tell you he died from some sudden problem, it's his a order. Whatever the fuck that means. But you know how it feels.

He got killed in a Russian drone attack. You want evidence? So is Tyler Robertson's defense attorney. Get in line. Mitch McConnell conveniently showed up in a picture with his wife, after weeks of people speculating that he was already dead, and she was a Chinese spy who fled back home. Does that mean he wanted to be seen?

seen is out of commission so it wouldn't be suspected in Lindsey Graham's death? Sounds good to me. Who cares? Life is what you make of it. And so is death. All I know is that Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey comes out this week. And if it's not an accurate depiction of life inside of an ancient Greek myth that I'm going to run for the Senate and God up us all if we win. Welcome to the age of fuzzy logic. Welcome to Kump. A thousand missiles are locked and loaded and aimed at the Islamic Republic of Iran, with thousands of more to immediately follow.

Should the Iranian government act on its threat, pronouncing many corners of the globe, to assassinate or attempt to assassinate the sitting president of the United States? In this case, me, glad you clarified that. Orders have already been given, and the U.S. military is ready, willing, and for one year period of time, subject to extension, to completely decimate and destroy all areas of Iran. Praise me to Allah, President Donald J. Trump.

I feel like he's stealing out of my playbook here. I have always threatened to self-harm in any kind of case where I feel threatened, but also, which is not quite what this is, but I also, I walk around with a packet of incriminating fake evidence. So if I'm ever murdered, my father will be the key suspect. And you ask why? Well, I just feel, it feels good to know that, you know, in case he does. That's the thing. It's, you know, a lot of people would want to have me killed. Probably more than Trump. You know, Trump's beloved. No one really beloved. I mean, I'm beloved by, you know, pockets of people on the internet. I mean, I'm not even sure if you use that word. But, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

You can't play around with your own life. Now, is this legally, is it legally dubious? Sure. Is it actually, are you allowed to, as the president of the United States, create a dead man switch, as it were, and say, you know, if I'm killed, do X, Y, and Z. Are they beholden to you? My gut says no.

My gut, everything I know about the U.S. government says he, you know, you stop having power once you die. uh, that presidents can't just create, you know, uh, last will and testament of, of, of, uh, genocide. Uh, but, you know, it would be interesting to see in, you know, if, if this holds, God forbid, and he happens, uh, you know, other people are asking this question. Trump suggests a standing order attack I ran if it assassinations him, but Vance would make the call. I mean, that's what you think.

You think that J.D. Vance as a vice president would assume the role. Again, God forbid. But that's, you know, like you have to stress test these ideas. You know, what did Franklin always say, you know, you have a republic if you can keep it, right? And also, I'm, you know, I'll be in France, just, you know, just housing muff, you know, so don't bother me. President Trump is suggesting that he has left standing orders for the military destroy Iran. But the U.S. government has no way to create an automatic preauthorized. quote dead man switch that would prompt immediate retaliation i mean does they make one you know like

you know i didn't japan destroy our fleet in pearl harbor we we don't have the means to attack japan some build it big the dead men you know like just just put it in and see what the generals do now in reality you know going in a war dropping a bomb uh is probably not like worth the, you know, most generals in power are not going to like, well, I just, you know, I feel bad. I mean, in Vietnam they were, though, it feels like in Vietnam, if, if all of a sudden Kennedy had, we all know all the, all the weird logic of Vietnam and Kennedy being killed, the Kennedy assassination.

And if all of a sudden some docs came out and said, like, you know, Kennedy was like, hey, if I'm killed, go after Cuba. You know, Max Taylor, I think he was the joint chairman of the joint chiefs famously, you know, by the heads of Kennedy. I think he would have been like, yeah, let's do it. You know, it was, it's really just a matter of like, you know, Caesar crossed the Rubicon because he felt like it.

That's just what the history is. You know, you can talk about all the checks and balances. But, I mean, that's the thing. It's the, you know, there's two that there's debates. and, you know, people have, like, these long-standing debates, the great man theory of history versus, like, you know, does, you know, history aside by great men or is aside by circumstances and they seem like both. You know, I remember sort of the, why, I mean, the distinction, the difference. It's like, yeah, shit goes along. You have the people are poor, people are hungry, you know,

franzi, the revolution. Before the, you know, before the revolution, you have people, you know, famine, right? Or people... I think there's a famine. There's a drought or something. And then we're also spending a lot money on Iran. I mean, on the U.S. Revolution, right?

American Revolution. And then, you know, it's just... It takes a spark to do something. You know, a guy like Robespierre wasn't there with someone else doing. Yeah, but might not work. You know, who would do Trump if not Trump? It doesn't mean to stop, you know.

It's sometimes one, sometimes it's the other. I think that's what dialectics is I was in a class in college and the professor basically poised this question I said well I'm saying yeah it's like both he depends on the situation give and take

it's the dialectics is right he's like no he's very dismissive of me and he was a famous Marxist apparently who the rest of the Occupy Wall Street so whatever I failed that class where he stopped going but you know it's it's an

interesting question to know like will uh this you it's really easy to dismiss is my point that you know we can't oh this won't fly well yeah i mean in theory in theory it won't fly uh under such a scenario vance we could do exactly what trump called for there's also a chance he could decide not to file with his predecessor's orders or offer a direct response in a different way yeah i mean this is the post and they're just saying yeah he'll be the president that's all this means you won't be the president anymore You won't be in charge. This is like the least controversial idea ever,

but Trump is just like that guy. He's just like, you know, I might even say, and for better or worse, a lot of it, mostly worse, you know, but it's just,

you can't just dismiss it. Because you just think Vance is very kind of like, you know, like Trump's laid the gauntlet now. So he knows that his people, they like Vance is very iffy. It's very, like, you know, tenuous, or maybe it'll be Rubio. Maybe Marco Rubio will be in charge.

I know he likes to play them against each other. Either way, they'll be playing through a MAGA, whatever, you know, if they win. Maga. Well, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm thinking about election, but this is this will be Vance. He knows who these people are, you know, that he's, you know, playing to. And he's already laid the gauntlet. Like, you better destroy Iran or else you're a cuck, is what you're saying.

And that'll be a chance for Rubio. like if I'm Rubio, I'm like, that's the weapon I'd use. Speaking of that, you know, marker of Rubio in like, you know, in the next primary, I'm like, you know, President Trump did say to destroy Iran and you just sat there and, you know, made some, you know, and you just killed like, you know, a few million people. You didn't destroy the whole country. Because this is a big thing. You have to destroy the whole country.

I don't know how many people have died in this war. Too many. of course but you know what you want me to do but stop the war please stop the war I've done what I can

the U.S. strikes Iran after Iran fires on ship in the Strait of Hormuz Iran's attack on a container ship comes hours after a meeting between the foreign ministers of Iran and Oman about opening the straight to traffic so this is you know this is what we're meant to you know

it's unrelated though it's unrelated to the whole assassination thing I guess we didn't cover. I mean, they've been, there's been chatter about them, you know, assassinating him. They say death to America all the time, death to Trump. Why would that be? I mean, maybe because we, again, we just, we killed their leader and start of the war against them with dubious. Whatever.

I mean, you shouldn't say it, though. It's not nice to say. So, you know, are they related? These, you know, well, why would, you know, don't they attack this shipping the strait-form moves? Yeah, but why was that ship doing what it was doing? You'll get to this in a second. And, you know, the cover of the Iranian Navy that has fired after several ships attempted to travel along an unapproved route and ignored directions to transit through Iran's territorial waters. It warned that it would meet any U.S. retaliation to its attack or the force response.

Now, yeah, like, I mean, what do you know about these ships? You go, you're saying they attack the ships. But, yeah, these ships are kind of provoking. I'm not saying, you know, I don't give a shit about, you know, I'm not trying to promote Iran's, you know, domination of three or four moves. But, you know, is it so far-fetched to say that, you know, if you were inclined to kind of, you know, hey, stop,

stop saying you're going to kill me. And then you kind of get these ships to kind of, you know, what you think we could make that happen? We could totally make that happen. It's totally possible. It's totally possible. These ships were open provocation. You know, and like, you know,

this is what like these things are a lot of the time. You basically put your enemy in a situation where he has to attack. It's kind of like we mentioned Pearl Harbor a minute ago. To some extent, Japan was, you know, we did an oil embargo, which I guess technically we were in our rights to. And whatever, again, they were doing some nasty shit, Japan. They were the whole Nanking and all that. It was nasty stuff.

So I'm not defending it. And, you know, there are conspiracy theories about how they, you know, the FDR, you know, allowed it to happen. that's not what we're talking about right now. The point is that, you know, regardless, were we able to, is this a provocation? And it's possible. It's possible that Trump is sitting there going like, hey, I'm seeing, I'm seeing me

burned an effigy. You know, they had the funeral. I mean, they had the funeral last week for the Supreme Leader, right? The Supreme Leader who was killed, I mean, technically I looked it up. I mean, it seems like, people like to say he was, you know, that was assassination, that was illegal. And technically it's war, I guess. I mean, we need to declare war, but we never do really. We rarely, we rarely declare war.

It's a dubious thing to say. But it was definitely not nice. It was definitely not a diplomatic thing to do. It's not normal. You know, just try, like, you know, when you start war and, hey, like, we want you to stop. Don't know, we're going to kill your leader right away. It just seems like a, it doesn't, you know, in this modern age of like, you know, war, last last uh um what's the word last opportunity no let the last resort you know it doesn't seem like

the smartest move or or the most most prudent move but regardless we did uh and they're having his funeral and i guess it tore his body around the middle east and uh you know the and and and the leader who's in there now has i think he made he's been in public twice since because he was he was wounded, like brutally wounded in that attack. So yeah, they're going to let off some steam. They're going to start, you know, it's funny because like what America does, at least in the age of Trump, it's just, it's also a very American thing. We like to do the things that we admonish other people for talking about.

You know, people like to bluster and we admonish them, but we're the ones doing the actual, you know, we do the assassinations. We do the dirty tricks, you know, CIA. We like to, we like to kind of point the finger. But that being said, it's just, you know, a lot of people, a lot of small guy, young guy, you know, small guy problems, you know, short guy probably, you know, short guys like Pesci and Goodfellas. They're very, they got chip on their shoulder. This is a known thing. You know, anyone's ever, you know, been, you know, been around guys knows that the short guy gets a chip on his shoulder.

yes I'm you know not every short guy but you know remember that long Allen deli guy the bagel guy the tiny the tiny bagel guy and he and he was screaming at a woman because you know she wouldn't serve him before someone else uh it's like that that's that's what this is it's like his country's going like hey you should i can't believe you bombed us oh we're gonna do we're gonna do x y and z i don't want to say it because it'll sound like um i don't know i'm i'm just secret service investigating me but you get the idea and they're gonna be you know it's just it's not the most prudent thing

but you should let it go in my opinion you should let people vent unless you want to use the thing they want to get back into this thing I'm convinced of that they end this war too soon you don't want to end a war in the summer right

because now we're in the doldrums it's hot it's sweaty you know it's like nothing not as much good if you like tennis you can watch Wimbledon. But you know, your shows are all off TV. You can't watch NCIS, North Dakota or whatever, or CIS, CIS, Tiran. Whatever, I haven't kept up with shows are out now. But, you know, the show with the autistic doctor or the show with, you know,

the autistic cop. All these shows, you know, they're taking their summer breaks, right? So it's like, you know, it's not the time to leave people to language. Then there's start going, what's going. You need people, they go, but no, they want to keep people's attention away from this. No, they don't. They love this. They want to keep your attention away from the fact that, you know, that you have the money, that you have no job, that, you know, that someone, you got, you got home invaded,

and someone kidnapped your wife, you know, crimes rampant, or all the different things, right? All the actual problems you have in your life. They want to keep you off that. Hey, where's, you know, where's Mitch McConnell? Oh, Lindsey Graham's dead. McConnell's here now. So it's a sleigh of hand, right? They, they love the idea.

They love the tension, the news cycle. Because you're, you know, if you're looking at this, you're not looking at the fact, you know, he's made $2 billion, you know, in the crypto markets, right? No, I mean, don't ask about that. I mean, look, you go, well, that's not, you're being, no, I mean, if I envy it. If I knew how to make $2 billion in crypto, I mean, you know how to make $2 billion in crypto, I mean, If I was president, I wouldn't know how to pull this off. If I was the president, I wouldn't know how to be corrupt. You know, I actually envy it.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying I definitely would do it. But I envy the fact, I, I don't have the confidence that if I was the president somehow, that I would be able to get away with $2 billion. It's a very, it's a very impressive thing to do. But reality is. But, you know, that's why he's good. Because he wants you not looking at that.

Oh, I'm going to blow up by. if they assassinate me. What, where's, what, what, what, what, what's going into your, into your, uh, Venmo account, Venmo account, whatever, you know, I, it's just, uh, am I crazy here? Am I crazy? It's the tension they want. They want you to be kind of, uh, captivated is all I'm saying. They want you to be kind of, you know, it's all very, and we'll get to, yeah, we're going to

get to Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell in the second. Uh, I will look at, Let's take a brief moment. If you are enjoying Kump, and we all enjoy Kump, I'm Kump. If you like extra episodes of Kump, they are available. Freely, not freely available, but for a nominal price,

Patreon.com slash right Kump. Also on YouTube, members only. Either one, you can join and get extra episodes every week, video episodes. Very nice. People enjoy it. They're great episodes. They're fun, wild, just glorious romps

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Lindsay Graham is U.S. Republican Senator and Trump ally died at 71 from heart ailment. That's what they're saying now. You know, I worked in the morgue. I know I know how autopsies go somewhat. I mean, I don't really, I would see, you know, for instance, when I worked at a morgue,

I would have seen if I was doing his autopsy, and by doing, I mean, photographing, I never, I wasn't a doctor. I would have, you know, I wouldn't have known it was an aorta, whatever the hell. You know, I wouldn't have known those words, but they would have given me some weird tube booking thing. I've seen any order

before. It would have been like a long, tubey thing. They cut in half or whatever. And then I go, what's that? There's a hole in there or something. And they go, that's the A world of this and go, and I would run away. But you know, so I'm not, I'm not a naive guy. Graham dies from heart ailment caused by

hardening of the arteries. So, one, a Republican, one time vocal critic of Trump who became one of the president's staunchest allies. I mean, this guy was a very nasty guy. He did a lot of nasty comments over the past couple of years. Loved war, if I could say so myself. I mean, or loved the, love to, you know, but we'll just say that.

We'll just, you know, I don't want to, like, smirch the guy by saying he loved making, you know, getting, he was a, you know, I'm not going to accuse him over any kind of corruption. Senator Lindsey Graham, one of the great, greatest people and senators I've ever known is dead. This is Trump. He was always working and was a true American patriot. Lise He would be greatly missed. Details and arrangements to follow. Is he going to be, is Trump going to be arranging the funeral?

So sad, President Trump. This is one of the greatest people is dead. I always love it. I mean, it is kind of, his cadence, his whole vibe is very, comforting is the wrong word. What's the opposite of comforting? It's something like that.

But it keeps you on your toes. It's like a spark. It's almost like Hemingway. Reading a Trump truth social post is like reading a Hemingway book. I've always said that. Now, there are rumors, but no, I believe he had a very short term illness. He had a heart attack, Trump said. He was a friend of mine.

A great friend of. So what are these rumors? I didn't realize Trump said, so Trump is basically acknowledging that some people didn't think it was an aortic dissection. and that perhaps he was bombing, you know, he was killed in an attack in Ukraine. He just literally came from Ukraine like hours earlier

or the day before, whatever, you know, a matter of hours. And he was inspecting a factory in Ukraine, a defense factory for a company called Skyfall, which is just odd. That's just, you know, what's the matter? The goldfinger

factory wasn't the you know, the living, let die. I mean, they named their company after a James Bond movie. It's just very interesting. No, it makes it, like, I guess over there, maybe it's like, no, we just, the sky is falling because we, we cause death as drones. And like, oh, okay, we don't know this James Bond.

Fair enough. Just what history is happy accidents. But he was, you know, expecting it. No, I don't know. What's he expecting it for? What the hell is a fucking, what does Lindsay Graham know about, defense factories besides the fact that you spend a little time in them, I guess.

Because the U.S. like, what is this? What are these guys do something in America? All they do is like they go overseas and they're inspecting the factory. Why don't you build a fact? Why don't you get to build it over here? If we're going to be involved in all these wars, why don't we build the drones or whatever?

His death robs Trump of a dependable Senate vote as the president seeks to push his agenda in Congress with the ongoing absence of another Republican. lawmaker McConnell. We'll get that in a minute. Effectively narrows the party's Senate majority to a minimal 51 votes until a replacement can be found. I mean, it's all very, the Senate is a big week for the Senate.

To get Graham Platner, basically suspended his campaign. Now, he was a Democrat, and he was basically that's the main seat. I guess that's contentious, right? So that's just, you know, that probably helps the Republicans, right? Lindsey Graham's dead, so I mean, Graham's, he's not really in question. I'm not saying, you know, it's just strange as old as stuff

is happening with senators this week. And McConnell comes back. Now McConnell, people were saying was basically been dead for weeks. That's wife was some kind of spy. I don't know. This is the kind of stuff I read on X. I don't know of any reputable sources called.

Let me see if I could find. If I just type, Mitch McConnell's wife spy But yeah, there's that thing I'm not gonna just cover it Mitch McConnell Wickeye wife spy Mr. McConnell's wife

cornered on a bizarre tour of China And this was from Like yesterday basically Elaine Shetwell and stolen questions about a recent visit of China While her send her husband was hospitalized McConnell's wife

Is refusing Questions on her visit of China and her decision not to rush back to the U.S. after her 84-year-old husband was hospitalized. Elaine Scha was overseas when the Kennedy Senator was found unconscious and rushed to the hospital on June 14th.

It's been like, this has been like, yeah, about a month. McConnell's wife, more than 30 years has not rushed back. I mean, you keep repeating things. She broke her silence. The former transportation, oh, she was a former transportation secretary. I was right.

Yeah, I don't know. Right, since she was a former transportation secretary. So I don't know if it's like property recused her of being a Chinese spy. But maybe it is. I don't know. Again, I didn't make this up. I'm not saying she is. I'm just saying that there was scullo butt about this.

A brief statement. The spokesperson said the trip was to support her family, philanthropic endeavors. It stated that she met with a number of people, including the U.S. ambassador. There's business to have in China. Yeah, maybe I don't, look, am I trying to besmirch the name of Mitch McConnell? No, he's a great man.

He's done a lot of great things to this country. You know, I hope he gets better so he can go back to, you know, just basically being a kind of, you know, just subverting, just subverting freedom and whatever he does. It's just not, he's a nasty, whatever. he's this guy he's he's all about winning that's the thing he's got graham and mccano you know you live you die that's the thing they they're they're fine with it because these aren't people who like have like you and i have like these things are like oh i want to do the right thing and we don't always do

the right thing we don't always like you know uh live up to our own standards but we have some kind of like moral compass right that's the thing these people don't they're they're fine with it Trump isn't unusual because usually these guys are like fine. Like, you know, whatever happens happens. I'm the president. If someone takes me out, you know, they don't want it. No one wants it. But, you know, there's a certain level of like, you know,

I'm not going to sit around and like, you know, and just worry about it all the time. You know, the most powerful, you know, the most powerful guy in the free world or whatever they used to call him. It still is, right? Maybe more so. But Trump is actually, no, I, I, Trump really doesn't want to die. It's relatable.

A lot of these guys are kind of, like vampires and like they're just ready for it you don't you know you don't you know you only the guy like lindy graham is outspoken he's always talking about we just blow this up and blow that up and kill these people because those people and screw them you know like just but you only a guy like that knows that people you know uh don't like him that he's on you know that he's on some people's shit list you know I'm not saying anything happened but you know but he's fine with it that's the thing you're in mafia you're fine with it doesn't mean you want to get whacked, right?

Did Vito Corleone want to get whacked? No, but he wasn't whining about it all the time. Oh, please. Michael, you know, the worst thing in the world. If I'm ever killed, please just start shooting children, please, Michael.

Is that good Baldwin-Brander impression? It's just, you know, it's, so, you know, you don't feel too bad. These guys are doing what they, they died doing what they loved. But what is the deal with McConnell? He breaks his side. So he breaks his silence today. He says, you know, this is after weeks,

there's no one even knowing what the hell happened. He says a fall led to his hospitalization. It just seems odd to me. It seems like, now I can't imagine why Mitch McConnell would want Lindsey Graham out of the picture. They seem like allies on the surface of it. But that's the thing. You don't know.

Maybe there's a new guy. Maybe there's a new, a new, a new guy. They need some fresh faces in the Senate. They want to groom some guy to get into, become the president in 20 because they know vans and and ruby over kind of like duds they're not great and they want to groom some guy so i would he's the thing i would look at whoever gets lindsay graham's seat this is a trump a comp exclusive speculation look at whoever gets lindsay

that might be the next republican uh candidate for president maybe not if not next time then you know is possible for the next for 2022 or whatever whatever 2032 but i do think they need to start grooming people there's not enough talent on either side you know like i think the democrats are really putting if they don't get like uh what's his name in california over there uh newsome as a viable candidate which you know it seems like the strongest thing they got for president in 2028 uh you it's hard to imagine who they'd run aOC i mean like you're not saying never but like you know like these it's we're in an age where like the people on top are just kind of old and dominant and like no one's no no one wants a like trump doesn't want talent around him right

uh and neither and neither the people in charge of the government you know like Biden like Biden was the best talent they had they they when the year is as demented as he was as riddled with you know, just kind of like mumbling and nonsense and just like, you know, weird smelling of children, uh, aura as he was. He like came into that 2020, um, primary campaign or,

you know, like at the end of it like a, like an, like a descending angel or something, right? Because it was like, who we're going to have Clobuchar? We're going to have like, you know,

or Buddha judge, none of these people seem like they could get anything done. And then Biden came in. And he's 90 years old. So the lack of like viable talent because no one's going into these fields. You know, you're not, you're not getting the best. It's like the best people who have like actual, there's too much money to be made in the private sector. That's a problem.

Or, you know, not their problem, but, you know, it's, but yeah, we're just, you know, why you could start up your shit coin and do better than meeting the president. Now the current president is doing both and, you know, more power to him. But yeah, it's just, you know, you better off being a tech CEO, better if being anything. It's just why go through all the horseshit? You know, you can't get away with anything anymore. Again, that's, you know, Trump has kind of done away with that for himself because he doesn't care if it's away with things, right? There is no getting away when you don't acknowledge the authority of anyone to do anything to you.

It's an interesting way of, but no, most people can't pull that off. Like, I'm sitting there, I can't, you know, could I be Trump? It doesn't seem like it. I mean, I like to be, I like to be a confident guy. I say, sure, I could bullshit my way. No, all right? The guy just schmoozes people. Most people know they can't do that.

That's what you have to be. You have to be this fucking crazy, larger than life figure. I'd rather just fucking open the hot dog truck, you know, and I make my money that way. So what I'm saying is there's a lack of talent. They need to start grooming people. Because talent's a perceptive thing, right? It's not bad. I'm not talking about actual, like, you know, play the violin.

in you fucking it's we you know groom people in the public eye and that's what you need so i'm telling you look at look at whoever replaces fucking lindsay graham my doctors have confirmed i didn't break any bones or suffer a concussion uh i didn't have a heart attack or stroke i don't have any tumors or hemorrhages it sounds like you were faking doesn't i'm not saying you were faking but sounds like you were faking mccanell said But I was briefly unconscious and was taken to the hospital. The senator acknowledged questions from constituents about his absence and attributed some of his health challenges to the lingering effects of childhood polio.

Okay. You FDR? Surviving childhood polio meant spending my entire life with mobility challenges, he said. They haven't exactly gotten, I mean, he had to go, why would I be out of commission for two months? and they go because you know he's not the one cooking this up you know this is whoever the deep state or you know whether the deep state is now um you know roger stone a bunch of thugs whoever whoever's cooking things up juliani's behind the scenes whoever's coming up with these

ideas is easily well how well you know just say you have polio ohio yeah it's just a lot left field i you know i polio by the way all right like if you ever used a wheelchair share anything no like but this is but that's why you had a coma for two months it doesn't see i guess he was a fall i know no i fell because i had polio it seems like not even like you don't even need to bring this up like people all people fall he's old this shit like he was already kind of he wasn't he already kind of like out of it last year like he was like you know they was they would catch him on camera he would seem like he was just kind of out like shot like you know this whole thing he's like it's like there's that there's a mafia guy i forget which one he was

but there was a guy who basically walked around pretending to be like crazy he walked around New York pretending to have his you know and and put in the comments if you remember who it was it was a famous one of the mafia dons and for years he pretended to be like

you know mentally disabled or whatever you know dementia or whatever and turned out he was just faking it the whole time that's the thing there's a lot of parallels between this and the mafia like is it even worth it at this point to be one of you guys in power and you got to like pretend to be like you know i got i got you know there's no

dignity any of this but you know it's fun for them they enjoy it they they get they have a good time so uh yeah so he be whatever he why would i fall i polio all right it seems like it's seems like it's a bullshit the update provides the first detailed account of mccanlain's condition after weeks of limited public information i mean these guys they couldn't say that Well, why is where is he? Is his wife in China? Why is she in China? Is she a spot?

Wouldn't it be easier at that point to go? Look, the guy had polio with a kid. So, you know, he fell. All right, you got a little fall. It shit happens, you know? Hey, he's a senator. You can't stop him being a senator. All right.

So what are we going to do? You got polio. Why didn't you say this before? You got wait, wait, why are you only saying this now? Because before, then all that matters is that he only came about, only came to once Lindsay Graham was out of the picture. That's my speculation.

Now, I'm not accusing him of anything. I'm just saying it seems odd. The timing of it seems odd. You know, if I was him, I would actually go, like,

let me wait a day. Lindsay Graham died. Like, I'm going to finally break the silence. Let me wait. Then he showed up with a picture. I believe he showed up with a picture with a, where his wife and a goddamn,

uh, newspaper where is this I had this is a yeah this is a picture of his wife and he's got newspaper there it's almost like he's a hostage or something

it's very it's interesting it's very interesting but I'm glad they seem like a happy couple I mean honestly you know squad goals or whatever right relationship goals you know to be so in love

at the age of whatever 220 or whatever he is very very proud of him so I'm glad I'm glad he's okay because if I if I had if I had to lose Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell the same day all Marone you know as as the mafia would say all Maron it's all such a so many things going on in the world I would love I mean there was another thing too this is an interesting see I ran maybe you're building suspected nuclear facilities We just cannot do anything to frigging, you know, to stop these. These guys are like are so beyond our capability. It's odd.

You know, this Iran. I mean, it's laughable at this point. It's laughable. I mean, like, they're just, are they going to get developed a nuclear bomb, like, under our noses as we're destroying? That, that's the gift that keeps on given. We've been milking Iran for, like, half a century, no, more than half a century. they're going to didn't we like we blew up the entire facility last year right during the summer right

before the summer that whole thing where we were the whole reason we go we didn't need a war again we don't need to go war we're going to destroy this shit now they might rebuild it okay and we attack them again and then we're building again what's even the point I mean you know we're giving them millions of dollars or billions billions billions in these deals which I guess we stopped just seems like uh how we just let them let him be you know whatever why not just let him let them just fucking have it you we call it we call it truce hey we went after mosez's egg and then you did the whole thing you know and then we brought the shot in he tortured your people and then you did the Iranian revolution and you took some guys hostage for a couple of year or whatever and they

didn't kill them it was that it was not nice that was not nice of you and then there's a bunch of proxy stuff back and forth and the Bay route bombing which technically there was them I think people say that it was connected to her who knows everything goes wrong and at least we blame with Iran some of it's probably true you know just like you know the other half is us

point is we both give we both take you know why can't we why can't we I mean we the cold war with Russia ended why can't we find a way to like just you know we don't need all this shit we're just letting these defense contractors kind of like use them as a uh

scapegoat and you know i'm sure it's a lovely country wouldn't you like to be able to go to iran or russia for that matter why can't you know just stop these wars i'd like to travel i'd like to go to russia i'd like to go to iran again don't don't investigate me not about I'm not, you know, about one of these journalists who like sneaks in. I'd love to see, uh, the airport in Russia. It just seems a shame. Well, you know, we're like, you know, Cuba's a beautiful place. Why can't we go to Cuba?

It's also odd. It's also odd. Yeah, I'd love to, I'd love to think about different, you know, some more, uh, ways to weaponize, uh, my. death if I'm ever killed it'd be a nice thing be a nice thing to kind of you know that's got that's the thing it's it's nice to know speaking you know circling back to trump's uh dead man switch it's just a comforting thing it's probably it's probably good like yeah i mean iran's not gonna mess around if they know it's like you know we should stop saying you might as well just say yeah he's they'll do it stop questioning

it because you know that's the thing is otherwise you if you want to help iran then you should really kind of embrace the idea that they'll be destroyed if he's assassinated you know because that's the thing is if he is i mean you know he's thing if he is of course we're gonna attack them we just attack them anyway no matter who no matter who who no matter what if he died of a heart attack will bomb iran we think of that happen of course we're gonna you know of course it's it doesn't need to be like you know a quote-unquote dead man switch we'll use any excuse for attack anybody but you know but that doesn't help them like you're always better off knowing uh what this what the score is what the deal is um ambiguities what gets people in trouble remember the whole thing of saddam

hussein when rumsfeld when you go i'm gonna i'm gonna go in vain kuwait and he's like ah and we're like oh yeah maybe go ahead oh was that obray or no or the rumsfeld right someone gave him the basically like maybe go whatever and then now again this is this all horsesheds we kind of do we trick them into it sure but the ambiguity is what we used that's what gets people in trouble not knowing where you stand the mafia again i keep you know i keep bringing us back up but the government's base of the mafia and you know if the don's weak and you go after the remember don't call leone he was like oh i don't i don't make money off drugs well it's kind of you know and the palazzo guy or whatever's name was like let's spit this pussy you know uh you know uh you're you're you're

a weak, weak scumbagger, you don't sell cocaine. So I'm going to whack you. Now, if he had just been like, hey, I run drugs in this town, then, you know, again, if I'm remembering the godfather incorrectly, you let me know in the comments. But, you know, I think it's basically how it went. You know, he kind of was like, oh, drugs are bad. I don't want little kids dying drugs. And he's like, we're in the mafia, you stupid bastard.

And he whacked him, you know, he shot him through an arm. He put an orange on his gun. I remember this correctly. did he put an orange onto his pistol the assassin and shoot him like shoot him through an orange like a silencer and if i'm gonna remake the godfather and have that scene he just shoots him through an orange he goes i'm the orange this is the orange i hope i know you i know you like oranges you join him in hell you scumbag welcome welcome to take a by the mafia not bad honestly i don't mind that you know the exciting you know sound off of you can i well i it's hard to tell on twitter everyone's very uh upset

um about these historic you know the historical accuracy of uh the audacity of uh again again look of this stuff is uh why is ellen page playing uh who's she who's she playing athina it is odd or elliott page i'm sorry i'm guilty of it does seem uh but the bad people just seem to care about you know uh historical accuracy just you know it doesn't seem to the gel with me i think people people just like to gripe uh the armor's wrong all right like i mean then they show you it's like you realize how like how inaccurate braveheart was like william wallace barely existed and everyone says acts like this is the greatest film for made and gladiator is amazing i started gladiator four times in the theaters no one thought like that's like any of that shit was real yeah

Marcus the release was like a fucking general you know was a with a guy was it was it with a with a emperor and this common this was all was he was even the marcus release his son maybe but the whole the whole thing is bullshit it didn't matter it was an awesome movie now I get that you you don't want everyone being race while don't race swap me bro I are like like you know just just just just try to enjoy things there's no movies left. Christopher Nolan I think it's a bad rap. I like that Tennant movie.

Where they're going, where they're going, the bullets go back in the gun. I mean, stupid. If you think about it for a second, these things are stupid, right? Like, oh, like, no, time. Like, cause becomes before effect. That's the only way you perceive it. No, because why were the bullet, why were the bullet, in what world would a bullet assemble from the mini, it's trapped into a bullet in my gun?

This doesn't make any sense, right? That's all, but Tenant. But Tenant's a very fun movie, if you watch it without boring about it like if it made sense or not like you know it's just it's the filmmaking gimmick of like things are kind of backwards and it's action movie where goes backwards or something and forwards also it's back and forth it's like it's a fun it's not like oh i'm figuring out the pentagram theorem over here it's just it's a but it's a puzzle in a more loose way um so don't take it's fucking seriously is what i'm saying you can just enjoy things you know like it it you it's If you made, what if I made, you know,

I remade John Wick, but I had Roseanne Barr play the assassin. You know, would you call that DEI? Or you just say, well, that's wild. Why is Roseanne, this old-ass woman, old fat? It's not fat anymore, right? But she's old. And she's cranky.

And she's whining about her dog, and she's shooting everyone. And she doesn't seem like, she's even like, you know, you can't even fake it. Like, you're watching this thing. And you can't even like, you're trying to do with a. cuts in a certain way, make it seem like, you know, and nothing, you can't make a visual sense.

But I'd still watch that movie. Or what if you had, you know, if you had Charlie Sheen play, that's the thing. Why not just have, instead of bitching, just have Charlie Sheen play Barack Obama in the movie. You know? Like, there's no need to pearl clutch. if you want to break the whole idea of like you know oh we we we can't do that because white guys can i i got here you then go the other way have fucking charlie sheen play baroque obama in a movie where baron obama gets AIDS you know have fun with it i'm just like i'm hearing well whining

that's been my film comes film corner for the week why not just have i'm calm but i think obama I'm just saying I'm I don't care if you I'm not one of these guys who cares if uh movie theaters you know stay you know oh we need to save movies I'm not Tom Cruise

no one's ever put you know I'm not part of Hollywood Hollywood's never fuck with me so I'm not sitting here trying to save everyone's job in Hollywood but I like going to movies so it'd be nice if they stuck around but don't go see if you don't want it but just cut this shit with the the pearl clutching yes yes it's a you know

Elliot Page maybe doesn't make a ton of sense but you know as Athena the god of war I don't even know is she is he playing Athena she whatever the fuck I don't even know I hear you it is a little odd but also like just stop whining

you don't have to whine so much just make your own weird shit make a movie about Barack Obama you know and you can't get Charlie Sheen then get um you know get get some get Gary Busey

get some white guy to play a Barack Obama because that's not like you can't even call that historical problem right he's not going to do him blackface you just you just you just you know I'm not saying that you just have him play it that seems fine to me you know that movie Soulman came out in the 80s and everyone liked it no had a problem with it we just we just relax

movies are going to be over in like 10 years anyway oh no obsession made so much money It was fine. I liked it was a good movie. It's a fine movie. It ain't saving Hollywood. Gen Z likes fucking movies again. Look, here's the thing.

Put me in a movie where I play Trump and also a mafia. It's called Trump, Trump and the mafia. Starting Ray Kump. Someone finance this. And I'll just be, you know,

I'll be a mafia Don, but also be Donald Trump. There'll be a real stream of consciousness, fever dream kind of thing. I'll be waving a gun around I'll be threatening You know I'll kill me the president But also in the mafia at the same time That'd be an interesting movie

You never seen a movie where the president Was also in the mafia We see all these other variations Where it's a cop who become you know Try to infiltrate the mob and I don't think it's departed Or whatever and the mob guy tries in for the cops But no one And you see

And Wendy Bulger His brother was in the state senate And Boston's that's kind of But it's different if the you know it's called mafia president put it on fucking you know president president president president don i mean he's called him is donald

the don right don like mafia don someone should make this work this is a fucking home run if i've ever heard it so you know look uh we're back as a country we're back at war and we're going to keep bombing iran until you stop

You're the reason about you know, just keep that in mind. If you don't care, if you didn't care about bombing Iran, it wouldn't matter. And they would stop doing it. It's your kind of attention. It's causing it to happen. It's kind of like a Christopher Nolan movie, right? Like a paradox. Keep that in mind while you're watching The Odyssey, that you're responsible for the Iranian war.

But thanks much for tuning in to Kump. you know, make sure the comments and subscribe, notification bell, you know the drill. Have a great week. And just stay cool. Have a cool summer.