Kump - Ep. 263 Trump Sells Wall Street Direct Access

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

https://www.patreon.com/raykump Support the show + get bonus episodes every week.Ray talks about Trump Media selling Wall Street firms faster access to Truth Social posts, the Cyclospora outbreak linked to Taco Bell lettuce, nationwide protests against AI data centers, and new betting markets for clinical trials and FDA decisions.

Congratulations to Spain. The World Cup is finally over, and the world is not far behind. President Trump, in between getting soldiers killed in history's dumbest war, has found a new way to monetize the end of history. His company, Truth Media, has announced Truth API, a high-priced, high-speed pipeline that will pump horseshit directly from Truth Social into the mouths of Wall Street traders because, God forbid,

they have to stop kicking poor children in debt for five seconds and check their iPhones to learn about some new tariff on Outback Steakhouse that'll get revoked in three hours anyway. Now that information can be funneled directly into Bloomberg terminals so the White House can manipulate markets in real time,

all for the low, low price of 100 grand a month. Much like the American Indians, Trump believes in defiling the entire buffalo. This is where I normally tell you to just give up and eat six or seven crunch raf Supremes. But apparently, it's Christmas in July, and Santa Claus is serving up explosive diarrhea parasites in a bed of shredded lettuce at Taco Bells across five states.

Do you have any idea how bad you have to be shitting that you don't just chuck it up to eating Taco Bell and actually go to a doctor? On top of all that, I burn myself again trying to open a bag of microwave vegetables. This is what it feels like to stand forsaken by God

in the country of your birth. But maybe there's a silver lining. Maybe Trump can monetize this parasite too, create some kind of economic human centipede and work out of deal with the farmers of America to fertilize their genetically engineered corn syrup or whatever. they'll have to pay to play, of course, but what else is new.

Welcome to the second agricultural revolution. Welcome to Kump. Fraising corruption. Critics denounced Trump media plan to sell priority access to true social posts. There is President Trump. He's pitching this. I mean, look, is it unprecedented

to have a president, have a make a few bucks in the old? Yeah, I mean, technically. But I like it. I like the Hutzpah. Move would allow Wall Street trading firms and other institutions to potentially profit from seeking president post first. I know what you're thinking.

A lot of people are thinking, well, these posts all seem like nonsense. They're just like, you know, weird lies or propaganda or just, you know, just like stream of conscience, not, you know, idiocy. And that may be true, but the markets respond to them. That's the thing. You can be trading in your little. makeshift, you know, date trading set up and your Wall Street bets, whatever, your Reddit post, and you're accessing information, and you go, hey, the president just said that, you know,

we're going to invade Greenland again. He's just, you know, in some true social post, and then, you know, you, and you might buy stock. I don't know, I'm not a stock market guy. I don't know what you do to short the invasion of Greenland or whatever. I don't know what stocks you. Do you buy more herring? Do you buy jars of herring on the, on the, on, on, on the, the commodities market? Is that even a thing? Is there a commodities trade to buy jars of pickled herring? They even eat that in Greenland?

I don't know and I don't care. It's a luxury of being a fat idiot. It doesn't make money. You know, you guys can worry about the arbitrage of pickled herring. My point is, now you can't even do that. There used to be a country where

if you put your mind to it, you could out smart the markets. You could, you could learn information is relatively, you know, look, no one's expecting you to know all the subsets of data. You know, like, we, that movie Wall Street, Charlie Sheens on his motorcycle, following people. You know, that's one way to get information. But, you know, the president's announcements didn't used to be behind, you know, a $100,000 a month paywall, which is what this is. A hundred thousand a month to learn the ramblings of, so you can react to the ramblings of Donald Trump.

It just seems like a bit cynical even for him. I thought he was the people's president. I didn't realize he was the white. I thought he was like, you know, I know he's like, we all like the stock market, but I thought he's a little bit of the, you know,

no, I mean, he never was, but what happened to that? What happened to the rallies? Or the people at the rallies, giving 100 grand to watch him helicopter in and talk about how he's going to, I don't know, like execute the president of Venezuela? Whatever's going on.

I mean, also, this wasn't, it's not, he didn't literally say, by the way, access to him. Like, that's the implication by, of course. But it's like, oh, do you know, high level true social accounts or whatever the wording is. But like, so is, is it cat turd included? Are the markets responding to cat turd? Is he part of that? He's still just on X.com. Who actually trans, you know, located over to true social?

I don't even know. We should really do a deep dive on this. Who's over there? Who, if I pay $100 grand a month, who am I getting besides Trump? Eric Trump? Tiffany Trump? Do I get the My Pello guy? Could I hear the My Pello guy, you know, called LeVar Burton racist names?

That would be, I might, you know, maybe if we can pool together our money, we can get, you know, a little bit of an investment group going. I don't know how that benefits us, though. I guess we can, I guess you can bet on anything on Calci. The move announced on Thursday with allowed Wall Street trading firms and other institutions to get news first from top social contributors

so they could profit off subsequent moves and stocks, bonds, and interest rates called truth PSI. The news, oh, it's PSI. Not API. What are you going to do? Fake news. A compass, fake news.

What you call it? Drop the company out there saying truth API is actually truth PSI. This fat idiot. He's going to call me out. This fat, fat slob. Burns his, burns his hand, eating vegetables. Don't believe it.

Probably more cheese. It was vegetables, though. There was a bag of mixed vegetables. I'm trying to do the right thing. And God's saying, it's too late for you. God's like, who are you kidding? You're not getting into heaven on the backs of a few bags of frozen vegetables. Cump.

and he's not wrong cold truth PSI the new service comes amid a flurry of other deals by Trump and his family that critics say are exploiting the presidency for profit it follows similar offers of high paid access on paid access on rival platforms

although one key difference the most popular true social poster is the president himself well that's the thing I mean I don't know what you're getting on X.com none of this makes that I mean if Trump wasn't the president it just would be worthless I mean that's that's the reality it only makes a difference because, like, the markets have to react to him to some extent.

I mean, you wonder at some point, I mean, are they going to, like, I think they've kind of calmed down with it to a certain extent. But, you know, you can price in the fact that he's just kind of a, you know, the whims of a madman. But you have, at the end of the day, like, having a man, you're still priced in the fact that your president's kind of loony. Kind of a loony bin character, right? You know, you can't just ignore it. The markets can't ignore it. It's like built into the idea. It's like, you know what I mean?

so it's kind of it's like the most pure corruption you can think of besides just like you know just just pay pay to like get your husband out of jail you know like if trump was like imprisoning the husbands of hot women and then being like you got to bang me i got to get your husband out jail that would be slightly more corrupt than this maybe but it's kind of I think it's kind of a wash. But we're rendering kind of purity of corruption, which is at least not hypocritical. I mean, they're not quite,

they're still saying it like, they're still couching it. If they come out and said, hey, hey, what are you going to do? This is America. You got paid to play.

You got paid to play my asshole. I don't think the, the people are paying it. You get it, though. I, I bet too much of the Trump or if I can chew. Last year, Trump made more than 100 posts

in a single day as global stockbrook just fell sharply amid fears his economic policies can produce a Trump session in the U.S. The Iran Post in particular are impactful because investors are worried that higher oil prices will continue to stoke inflation. I mean, here's the thing.

It doesn't matter what's in the past either. Like, he's going to start just like withholding information to do this. This is like they're already kind of juke. This whole thing is a juke. Is that what you call you jukeing the market? The whole thing is already set up that way where it's like they're, I was talking about last week.

They're basically just, they're just kind of working like jazz. And they're just kind of manipulating the news cycles with little blurbs and little attacks. I mean, it's like, you know, a true social post here, a cruise missile there, a drone strike there, you know, a soldier's death. Oh, sorry, we'll have a little funeral. It's all, let's see what gets it going in the, it's a combination of the polls and also in the whatever these couchy poll, these,

these, what they call these polymarkets, these, these, these, you know, prediction markets they call them. Um,

and polls. And there's one, yeah, he's trying to, he's trying to see, because we, we aren't really like, it's not like we're all,

uh, above board as people, as voters, as, as whatever we are, consumers. we're just we're all kind of swimming in the notion of of pain trying to find uh you know like some kind of identity group group identity to be part of right yeah whether whether it's pro-trop anti-trump

you know they i'm sitting here you know shit and all this is my i'm not a group you know i've always said like you know i would never be a part of a club that would um you know look at my tax returns because don't look at them they're embarrassing that wasn't great pun pun what I'm talking about anyway Trump launched TMG in 2021 right so this is just

I mean this was the end game plan all together this was kind of uh you know they kicked them off Twitter and this is what this is kind of the the old school economic game too by the way this really is like the biggest example of like a

unintended consequences that's what economics is economics if you want to control everything and why don't we just ban Trump off Twitter and now we have the president United States monetizing access to

his literal his literal dementia so you know you got what you know you don't know what to quote Paul Simon you don't know what you've got

till it's gone you could have had Trump on Twitter for free you probably still would have had Twitter not X.com not forshand

with a bow on it but here we are everyone you know you're going to X.com and everyone's like the I see am I guess

yeah it's fine i saw it's fine it's not we're talking about here i'll talk about on the patreon whatever it's good i liked it but it's like it wasn't great enough you know i'm the only one talking about gyros any given time i love gyros no one else talks about gyros but me i don't understand it's like you know all i want to do is talk about how much i love you know chicken gyros pork gyros lamb gyros and no one seems very rich in greek culture until until the odyssey comes around and it's like how how can we you know how can we get you know griff this it's not important people told not to eat taco bell shredded lettuce in these five states i mean this is this is this is this is like 9-11 kind of i mean where it really hits you close to home everything's abstract

everything's kind of like you know intellectual like oh is this is a corrupt money grab or are you invading greenland uh but this is actually where the where the where the metal hits the road or the pavement, whatever that expression is. As federal and state officials investigated a growing nationwide outbreak of cyclospora infections, which is the explosive diarrhea, right? Taco Bell announced Thursday

that has voluntarily removed potentially impacted lettuce from a supplier in select states. Okay, so you can still go. You've taken care of it. I don't think we should rely on self-regulation for people eating crunch wraps. I'm not judging.

one of them. I try and you know you try to eat less but you know it's like they're just you know what else is going to take your mind over your kids uh you know hating you they say they love you but you know you know you can just tell the dad you can tell the kids just they they respect you but they don't love you uh but taco bell is always there and taco bell is taking immediate action to voluntarily remove the lettuce uh and it's funny because it's just tailor whatever It was fucking lettuces. I don't know who makes lettuce. I don't know what farm you go to to buy lettuce,

tread of lettuce. But I have been making my own wraps with shredded lettuce in them with turt with chicken, whatever. I'm not making crunch wraps, but I'm making my own little wraps. It doesn't matter when I'm trying to do the nice thing.

And I go buy some more lettuce. I'm like, hey, that's the company that they banned. It's funny how you, you know, you take for granted. certain things, not having to know. It's a luxury not having to worry about what brand gives you shredded lettuce.

It's only, it's an interesting thing. It's really only when there's an explosive diarrhea outbreak. Do you actually care what brand your shredded lettuce is done by? I mean, I guess some people just, you know, they can, they're like salmonez or whatever with wine, but for like shredded lettuce

and go, oh, this is from peacock farms or Michigan or horses. I can't do that. You know, to me, shredd-less is shredd-less. It could be wilting. I don't know what the brand offerings is. But now it's coming. It really focuses the mind when you're stuck in a bathroom for six hours.

Wondering what happens to your life. There's a here's straight from the CDC. Investigation updates cyclospora outbreak. Do not eat, recalls. from Taylor Farms de Mexico that might be purchased from retail stores or served in restaurants if you purchase were called lettuce

throw it out or return to the store if you don't know the stores of the lettuce ask the restaurant um they really should I mean if I was a price as I would do a buyback I'm not going to trust like you know I mean Taco Bell sure you're a big

corporation but I'm not going to trust other restaurants to not just serve you know they're not taking a hit they might and like no one wants to be the source of a I'm not relying on that though it's like you know would you just buy a stock up and then you could and then you could just kind of use that as an election thing we bought all the time I saved you from Taco Bell time remember when you got you guys are getting diarrhea for me eating too many crunch wraps that's all you need to do I mean honestly if you if I if

you if you're going to be a corrupt president forget trying to sell direct access to some whatever API script you just planned a few you get a few fast That guy is starving, you know, uncontrollable diarrhea in the middle of a fuck, like actually at Taco Bell, just shit in their pants all over the place, you know, making a mess, make sure someone films it. And you go, this is, this is an outbreak of this, and you make up a disease. I'm not saying they have. I don't, I don't think they're handling it well enough to warrant that.

I'm saying if I was good, I could become, we talked last week about me becoming a senator, right? the senator from North Carolina or South Carolina, whatever it is. I could be the senator. I could ride to office on a stream of diarrhea by just taking action.

And the main action is I would give away hey, hey, hey, hey, two things. One, you can, you can, we're gonna, what would we do? I guess we give away free crunch wraps. That's the thing. Hey, we're buying back the lettuce and we're giving away.

You come to one of my rallies. I'll give you a crunch wrap with clean lettuce. And all the lettuce is clean. I'm buying, he's the thing. I'm working in multiple angles. I have guys buying the lettuce. Because the lettuce stock, I imagine, goes down, right? Again, someone commented in the comments about this.

People who know stocks and trades and all that shit. Comment about the Trump API, how you would benefit from that. Right? And also now comment about this. I'm actually curious about this. Is there is a shredded lettuce stock? It's not like on the open market. Could that be manipulated?

And in my corrupt Senate run, I might try to, you know, buy this lettuce on the cheap. And then use that to kind of help offset the program, giving away crunch wraps, right? Is that a nice idea? And then you give it back to the people. The people just want something to shove in their mouth,

all right? There's not much that can be done. We've kind of broken the whole thing a little too much. It's a little too broken. It's a little too kind of, you know, it's a little too past its, you know, limit. This whole democracy thing. You know, it's like you can bend it, you can't break it.

We broke it. It's not coming back together. What do you think? We hear some guy comes in and goes, I'm going to, hey, I know who had like fucking four years of a maniac, four years of a guy of a dementia who's also kind of, you know, smelling people's hair. And sons of crap. head and four more years of the other guy and now he's even worse um Barack Obama was like bombing weddings but you know and you know he meant well he meant well when he was bombing

Pakistani weddings and we did the Iraq war but now we're going to do the right thing I don't see it I mean what was Clinton I mean Clinton was I guess domestically decent when he wasn't you know mouth mout moutobbing his interns or God knows what else is that word about when he wasn't uh pardoning um the uncle Lewinsky's turkey if you know what i mean stupid um yeah i don't know what the last good press it was ever good preck lincoln lincoln lincoln was pretty good uh states rights whatever shut up point is i don't think we're fixing this so at least give the people something nice why don't we just know why don't we you get a certain amount of treats give give you you know a treat allotment this is the thing you can't this is why you

need public health by the way you know it's all well it's all libertarianism was all well and good until taco bell can't be relied upon you start taking you know it's this is every it's a quote the west wing i think it was some kind of quote it's those everyday things that you take for granted you know like it was like it was a i think it was actually a hamburger a mad cow it's go it's those every it's these little things these everyday things you take for granted that's when they go away when they when you can't take that for granted i'm paraphrasing it all goes to shit you just all goes to shit in your mouth like so much ash like alex the end of the great it's the heart i mean taco bell is the heart the heart of america that's the thing it really

is like it's it's it's not that for it's it's more affordable than other things right it's still cheaper than a lot of things but that's hard the idea have taco bell was that was cheap um that it was you know filling and that it was it wasn't pretentious right it was you know what people people when they win the oscars they don't go they go they go in an out burger for their for the every man meal they don't go to taco bell because they're pretentious Hollywood elites john legend and uh tennity shalame and all these Hollywood elites and Matt Damon, if he wins the Oscar for Odysseus, whatever, he's not going to be at a Taco Bell,

you know, eating a grilled stuffed burrito, getting all over his goddamn tuxedo. You know, with fire sauce and guacamole and sour cream all over his mouth and tits. He's going to be fucking sitting there with the internet. I'm a man of the people. Let me buy you're an hamburger. Shut up. You know, man.

You're a man of the elites. But when the people, when the thing for the people becomes, dog you know it's either too expensive as a thing it's one thing to be too expensive it's too expensive it's not as good and now it's covered in disease you need to preserve the bread and circus that's the thing i'm getting out here that's the other thing what what's the last tv show you liked polybulous fucking house of how house of you know house party dragons these shows all stink right the food stinks none of the fast food was all super expensive it isn't even good anymore or you know the all the candy sucks all the show sucks the movies are barely ever good

i mean you know the the honesty was fine but this is not like you know give me gladiator any day the week i love gladiator what happened the gladiator can't make that anymore i don't even know why because no one remembers how to make shit but apropos that that's ancient rome bread and circus That's the whole point, right? If you can't reliably provide people with the very basic, just horseshit that keeps them distracted while you fleece them dry, while you steal from them, while you just, while you steal their children's future and sell it for parts, you can't even bother to fill their gob with some wet slop that tastes halfway decent. doesn't make them shit more i mean within reason no one's expecting not their shit when they need taco bell that's the thing no one's expecting the clean bowel movement but you can he just yeah it's just never enough that's the thing the generations of of wealth i guess you call it like there's

the people of wealth and they live in you know the beverly hills of the world and the whatever the sands point the hamdens right and then like you go is it really worth it to do that like to do the iraq war i remember asking you is it really worth it to live here in these castles, which, you know, like Stan's point where it's a castle. It's really worth to live here. Like, you do the Iraq war to live in some nice house like this. I mean, it's a nice place to live.

Well, this Beverly Hills. Is it worth it to do, to buy and sheet to steal you into a war to get this? It's like, you know, you're still going to live with yourself. That's the thing. This is what it has to be. Because you can say no, and that means you're a person. But there's always going to people who want to become rich.

And it's like, you know, it's, here's how you think about it. The ratio of like merit to wealth is wider and wider. And it's almost necessary because like at a certain point, again, J.D. Rockefeller, uh, yeah, I'm sure he's a little bit of a scumbag on taskmaster and Andrew Carnegie, right, with the steel and the world. But they made stuff, right? They built stuff. They built, you know, U.S. steel and, um, fucking, you know, standard oil. and they built industries they both you know who built was with vanderbill built trains i guess right or she's a

shipping guy big steamships yeah whatever i'm not well my mr history but the point is they bade stuff and they got to live in these castles and they got the trappings of wealth but every generation that goes by it's more and more like well i want to live like that well you know because these people had some things they wouldn't do you know they wouldn't sell direct access to the president whatever you want you know they would there was some kind of yeah they would kill like workers if they tried to unionize don't get me wrong but there's a certain level of decorum but now like in order for people you know there's always people who want to get those trappings of wealth you don't have like character quote unquote and they will jump at the opportunity to sell away

more and more of whatever we would call our like you know culture or or or or birthright I don't know like the things that don't make us not live in dystopia those sell for parts just to get into Beverly Hills just to get into where the fresh prince live

Bella air you know the price keeps going the price the price of money goes up but also the price in your soul goes up so you're being led by more and more crazy corrupt people who have no qualms about doing anything you know I mean like

it's just like that's why Yeah, George Washington was like not, he's a slave owner, right? Whatever he did some bad shit. He probably also did some like, you know, more, more pedestrian bad shit. You know, they didn't need to report. I'm not saying he did beat his wife or, you know, throw crazy sex parties, but they didn't used to report that stuff. Who knows?

But my point is, uh, it's just, it's all getting worse. And then, and they're, they used to care about how you viewed it, right? even though you didn't control it like they would they would kind of they made a whole PR industry like you know every Bernanis and all these guys to like manipulate public perception but they still wanted you to think you were like

control that you had a stake in it now they don't care and that's evidence by the fact they're letting Taco Bell just have parasites if I was to by damn president I would you know Tama Bell will be my fucking you know my line in the sand that would be my fucking

my twin towers I don't know what the analogy is my Fort Sumter don't don't you know here is you don't come after Taco Bell the government should I mean the moment they try to make fast food too expensive the government should have like started bombing these people

bomb the people who own these companies if they try to like flee because like if that goes then what the the people need to have a stake The only alternative, the only thing that, you know, mitigating fact there is that maybe they just, they want to push people to the edge, so they revolt, so they can put you in AI prisons. Data Center opponent stage 142 protests across the 42 United States. Our data or tax dollars or seized homes or utility. So people, you know, I love these people go, what's that what these data centers?

They're just Luddites. They're taking away, you know, look, I guess some people out there aren't as driven as me. my ilk by Taco Bell lettuce. But they also don't like the fact that their powers being consumed and their utilities and they're being pushed out of their homes so that people can build the, you know, more fucking data centers for AI horseshit. Opponents of the rapid build out of data centers held 142 protests across 42 states in the first nationwide effort to channel anger at the AI infrastructure expansion

that has ramped up over the past year and royal local politics. I wouldn't be surprised. Don't quote me. Don't sue me. I didn't say he did. But I wouldn't be surprised if he, if the same moment was like some of these projects, just throwing my old old have cocktails of these people.

Like he did with his own home allegedly. I guess he claims he would do it to him. Was that the story? Okay, man, maybe he had it mixed up. I thought I remember him throwing the thing, but I guess I could stay through it at his house,

supposedly. I don't know. It'll come out. the protests were coordinated by humans first all right that doesn't this this sounds fake too though co-founded by a former leader of the modern-day tea party she compared wasn't the tea party just like controlled by like the coke brothers this doesn't seem like i don't know just much like the tea party when it first i was skeptical of that too it all it all seems astro turfed she compares growing opposition to data centers to the right-wing populist movement that merges does a

protests rally around what human first calls the unaccountable buildout of data centers and unacceptable infringement on our liberty. I guess. Hopefully, hopefully that's a real opposition. It feels like it's there. These things always seem fake to me. They seem like fake release valves.

You know, I would, I would, if it was a bunch of fat guys, like truckers, right? Fat truckers covered in sour cream and they're stuff.

I'm going, hey, fucking, you know, you're not going to, enough of this AI shit. You're not going to fucking replace us in these trucks, these driverless trucks. Fuck you. And they're shit in their pants. I'm getting the same guy. If I'm a senator, I'm getting the same guys I used for my, uh, my, my, my whole, my whole, like, staged pants shitting thing and Taco Bell. I'm getting these, I'm getting them into trucks, right?

I'm kind of, I'm trying to merge the issues of these truckers, right? and he's uh because that's not you don't hear about as much anymore you don't hear about the driverless truckers as much you heard more about that a few years back but now it's just the data centers it seems like these things are being kind of filtered um it's almost like you you have a controlled opposition like they know like at the end of day they're not they've done such a horrible job PR wise like if they really they want this uh be kind of like almost like a It's almost like you're playing both sides of a thing here because, in my opinion, because you look at the whole history of how they've, like, handled the PR,

these AI companies are like, yeah, we're going to take your fucking jobs. What are you going to do about it? That's kind of a vibe. And it says, calm down recently. But, you know, it's like, it's almost like it's a fucking smoking mirror thing. What you really need is a bunch of guys who can barely speak. Like, the people are kind of inarticulate. That's the thing.

and you'll always have people who kind of rise through the ranks of the box populi to be like the spokesman but you see everything seems too neat nowadays everyone's too prepped by social media you just don't have like go watch a documentary like what's that movie

Harlan County USA about the coal strikes right and first of all the companies are shooting at these guys and these guys are just kind of like you know there's just actually guys who work in coal mines what do you think they know how to fucking you know they took speech college speech college level speech classes no they they were they i assume coal mining is still like you hit a fucking wall all day and fucking coal falls on the floor and you pick it up sounds brutal remember what's his damn fucking orwell wrote a book

the rote the wigan pier uh about these coal miners right and he's just like he's in there like he spent the whole time going these guys have perfect bodies they're covered in ash or whatever the covered in soot look at this perfect body it was a little uncomfortable he supposed to be me look if he's like he wants to be I don't care everyone wants to fuck the guy

I'm just saying like you know you're supposed to be there like you know you're there under under a pretense of being a journalist or whatever don't be just you know just write what happens right just look at this guy's perfect body you think if the guy read his notebook during lunch or whatever he's eating his little roll

his potato like let me read what you're writing he's like those guy's perfect body what is this anyway I'll find a little bit of this I'll find the quote next week or something on the Patreon. But, yeah, I'm just saying, you know, these coal miners,

it's a hard job. Everyone now, it's like, it's because you have, everyone's trying to be an influencer. Because why wouldn't you? Everyone's doing on the scam now. What, you know, who's, who's going to jump into a coal miner? I should become a coal miner.

Maybe that'd be a good video. Well, merge the thing. You know, maybe, maybe that's a good thing for the comp pocket. Maybe, anyone out there who knows, many people in the coal industry um and i'll get i'll i'll train for it you know we'll make a whole fucking go fund me or like what the kick start the thing where you what you have to do a thing i'll have to get in coal mining shape and i'll go into the mines and i'll make a cool youtube video like this all along my mr beast thing i'd love to i would love to i would love to say like

how great would it be to like fake being a coal miner to like be and pivot into like in influencing the bigger the bigger you can sell out your fan base in this day and age is the more the more because you won't be selling them out they won't they'll never see it that way they'll just love you they'll just love you and consume you or like you know he's like now i'm like people who love mr beast don't just stop like you know whatever i mean no one loves them though it's all this astro-turfs i'm just babbling now the point is i want to meet mr beast let me work with you i don't video where you fucking keep me in a cage for a year and uh just just keep me in a cage and let me shoot in a bucket and give me a million dollars all right that's that that is that i mean cut the

shit i don't need 20 million just give me a million i'll shit in a bucket for a year what's the difference cal she to allow bets on clinical trials FDA decisions the prediction market's platform calcci will start taking bets on the outcomes of clinical trials and FDA regulatory reviews so basically like now we're going to be taking bets on whether or not like a cancer drug gets passed I mean what we how how is this legal but I can't bet I can't play online poker still all I want to do is play like is occasionally play fucking hold them yeah I'm sorry I'm put the other games I'm still stuck in you know two of three or whatever and the poker boom I don't play seven cards stud I'm sorry I'm a hack I'll play a little hold them like like I'm like I'm like

the guy from Rounders, and that's illegal. I mean, I used to do workarounds, like years, 20 years ago, when you buy like a gift card, a certain gift card that was a certain gift card that had a visa thing attached to it and you have to go on a certain site and buy the thing. That's illegal, but you can bet on cancer drugs. You can bet on FDA approval. This just seems insane. You know why you're allowed to do this?

I mean, this makes sense now. why would you be allowed to do this and not play poker? Because how is Trump going to influence your poker hand? How is the government going to do that, right? But true social posts can affect things on those things. Do you see my point? There's no money to be made in poker because you can rigged poker. Sure, anyone can rig anything.

But the government can't, you know, or Trump specifically, can't just make a post and all that. There you go. Like, now you have a straight flush? No. doesn't work that way but you can be like hey I might go to Greenland oh I might I might have his FDA guy well I guess I guess is that you know no he's yeah what the fuck is no Kenney's in charge of the health department as a whole right whatever have the FDA maybe approve of cancer drug maybe not whatever you can manipulate

these things am I accusing the president of being yes whatever so I'm allowed to um contracts available a long include more than a dozen U.S. and food drug administration decisions, including whether it will approve Gilead's experimental cancer drug anti and and it and it so sell. Why didn't name these things nicer? And some of the therapeutic experimental lung cancer drug, Ivonis, um, Ivonis chema. Why just name it, name it lung can't like a clear lung. That'd be nice. Just fucking healthy lungs. Healthy lung. By healthy lung.

Happy lung. Happy breather. Happy breather. My drug is called happy breather. Right? It's not called infoccalcrum. Other bets include an Alzheimer's disease drug. I mean, this is asking for people.

This is just asking for corruption. And it's the thing. I wouldn't care as much if I could play poker. That's kind of what I'm getting out of bread and circus thing. You like, you don't even allow people like, just know, it's not fun a ban on a cancer drug like you're skipping you know it can be kind of fun to do some of this stuff maybe but you're skipping straight to the degenerate gambler part like it's only fun if you're already degenerate gambler like poker at least you can kind of like spend the night you drink a few beers

oh you're going to try to play tight you can try to play loose reality most people aren't good enough to you know control themselves enough to control you still basically gambling because you're not really thing tight enough or whatever using mathematics well enough some people are looking at you can do it I'm just saying me and my ilk plenty of us are out there who are like you know pretend like we you know we will read

some book super system by Donald Brunson and pretend like we're controlling poker but the end of the day as soon as you get a pair of aces you start pissing yourself a little bit and fucking you know and then you lose your mind or you try to play too tight with the aces you don't know how to do it properly

you also don't use enough bankroll management but that's what I'm saying like these things you can do like well you know maybe the problem is that you're actually playing in two high stakes of a game and therefore you should really be playing a lower stakes game and that way you have more you more buy-ins or you get wiped out matter as much right that's kind of stuff you can do as a responsible but there's only nothing you can do in cows you can't use these better you don't cancer cancer drug is past or a dozen where's the fucking romance in this you know how is this how is a person supposed to live.

Other bets include a platform will require employment verification for oil traders and prohibit trading by anyone who holds non-material who holds material and non-public information. All right. Yeah. I'll believe when I see it.

Longer 20201, CalShe allows people to bet on events such as sports, ocean outcomes, and weather. I mean, it's the easiest way, you mean, anyone can just find, it's easy enough to find someone to just, you know, pass it off to it, right? hey you get your brother your mother get your wife you know whoever someone can

yeah if they're gonna dig into it they can who's gonna dig into this shit if you piss off the wrong person that's the thing it's all about it's look seven lean years seven clean years

just give the people something that's the thing people don't even need to be good they don't remember what like it was like when they have a vague idea about how the parents were doing the parents generation they just don't want to feel like they're getting powned right they don't want to feel like they're getting banged out for free for cheap you know they want to feel like yeah all right

i'm i'm not complete sucker it's nice right it's nice it's nicer if you can kind of just you know go with the flow a little bit no one no one's really like you know keeping score like oh like what you know are the interest rates up or down they go hey can i get a house maybe a shitty house you know, the people who are trying to keep up with the Joneses aren't what we're talking about. We're talking with the regular average Joe. We'll just, you know, give him a double wide.

If I go live in a double wide, I'd buy a double wide trailer put in the middle of fucking, you know, Brooklyn somewhere. You should have a trailer park in a little Brooklyn. Why not? We're all moving to the woods. I don't care. Just give people a way to do it. Vote for me.

Look, here's a thing. Maybe, maybe this is what we're looking for. We're looking for the comp. promise. I promise this to you. You'll get something. It ain't going to be great. It ain't going to be nice. You're not looking down the road at a wonderful life, a beautiful existence. It's going to be a little rough and it's going to be a little dank. But here's my promise to you. You get something. we're not going to you know no one wants to be the guy who reaches into the grab bag

and all you feel is the backside of your leg right to quote Rocky 5 no one wants to feel like the last sucker at the table and you won't be you'll get a shitty house or a shitty apartment you know you'll you'll get some you'll get you'll be able to have Taco Bell again and it'll be nice it will be good for you but it'll be tasty

we'll bring back the things you're like the cheap things because you're not going to get the nice things we'll bring back the sour cream we'll make stop trying to nickel and dine the goddamn sour cream how much is any given person making on sour cream like I'm not saying how about you make 10% less profit

on some of these condiments like you have to scre this is private equity mentality it's because like here's a thing when everyone owns these everything when you know these these companies are all owned by these private equity with non-tech

that means people own it because it's their fucking fucking four one case shut the fuck the reality is that like all of a sudden these tiny little like you know increments of money by making a slightly shitty shitter your sour cream turns into millions of dollars because you know you control all the talk about I don't know

it's just make it make it smaller subsidize this shit it. If we can build a million prisons, we can build sour cream. Give it to the people a reasonable price. What the prisoners make the sour cream? I promise this to you.

We'll have prisoners make your sour cream from that one. So it'll be affordable and still good. You know, I will have cameras in case they try to do stuff. We'll use AI for good things. Like making sure the prisoners don't violate the sour cream when they're making it. You know? normally that would be very expensive to supervise

we have AI using that now AI is no longer just for you know replacing your job it's also for making sure this the cheap sour cream that prisoners make for you isn't full of things you don't want to eat if you know if you catch my drift okay that's what here's my promise to you you're going to wake up in America you're going to go to sleep in tyranny and wake up in America

it ain't going to be nice Spain wins this world cup not us that's that's what it is right but yeah you get cheap sour cream lettuce it doesn't make you shit more than you know more than the beef does right nice things you know you get a movie or two that makes it feel good about the roman empire oh you know it's not about accuracy he just you know put russell crow into something again that guy was fun You know, like, make a movie. The guy gets his wife killed, his kid killed, and he's, just, that's the thing. You want to move, movies that were great in the past, a gladiator?

The guy gets his wife and kid killed because he wouldn't become the emperor. And now I have to go, you know, and like, now I'm going to get revenge. It was like, and he dies at the end, spoiler alert. And it was a great film. Because it's no, we don't need much. We just didn't know, hey, if someone fucking killed my wife and kids, I'm going to like, you know, maybe I'll kill someone also maybe I'll come I glad you

I'll get a little bit of people clap for me it's all you need it's not justice people aren't looking for justice they're not looking for you know their piece of the pie as it were and they're just looking for a piece of anything

that's a mistake people make it's like you know oh people think people are envious you just want to feel like you're not getting hosed as much as you were. You know, don't fucking deal.

That, like, you know, it's like if you're in prison and someone's sexually assaulting you, and the guard sees it, you don't like the guard to be like, hey, stop that. You know, no one's asking them build a time machine

and make it not happen. But you can someone give a shit? You know, that's the thing. It's like, you know, just don't have the guards not be in on it. That's all we need. Make grass, you know, just astroturf the country again.

Astrochr's not bad. It's gotten better. Green is a nice color. That way, in the winter, it'll still be kind of all right. Give people, you know,

better ice cream, you know, and fucking, you know, McDonald's. Give me a free hot fudge on their birthday. Tiny little things that don't matter.

You're still stealing like everything from them. Just make them feel, you know, I used to get just like little cards. Or, Or like, let them play bait, you know, give him, uh, well, everything's food and this. You know, give him something nice.

Give him, or a TV show. Give him a nice sitcom about a fucking guy who works with a, work as a bowling alley. And he's trying to, he's trying to bang this fat friend. Woman, I guess, you know, whatever, fat woman friend. He's, he's, he's fat. He's trying to bang his hot girl. And he gets her. You don't, you know, that's not what I'm saying.

Everyone is, in reality, you know, you go on the Dayton website, apparently. and it's just, you know, it's just people trying to, you know, sell you things. And it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm not saying becoming in-sell, but, you know, it's, we're allowed to become bleak for men. We let give people hope. Give him a TV show where it's a fat idiot who, uh, who lost all his money in a scam, but he's got this girl at the bowling alley. And he, and he pays her to be his girlfriend.

And then that's the premise. And it works. But then they fall in love. And it's called, uh, strike three. Cause she has three kids. And he takes care of their kids. She's,

she's, she's the mother of three, but she's banging hot. And he's a fat idiot who, who, who, who, was actually illiterate.

Uh, but he works to pins because it's like, you know, and like, I know, I know, I know reality they, he works the machine that does the pins.

Because, you know, whatever, I don't know, where he owns a bowling alley. He inherited from his dad. And, uh,

and he's got some money. And he pays her, you know, just enough. money that he pays her because she's you know her she's like escaped from a domestic violence situation and her husband was beating her and beating the kids and she ran it like radio fly it's not like radio flyer it's actually real life where she goes to a woman shelter or something and then she you know she's living on the lamb he's like well and i'll pay you you know extra you

work here she works as a waitress in this bowling alley but i'll pay extra if you pretend to be my girlfriend um because he's trying you know he's just trying to impress this fat woman who's actually very nasty and she but she's fat woman here's the thing we'll tie it in this fat woman goes on to the onto these uh dating sites and still cleans up because of you know whatever the insult thing is which is that's still some true to this i guess scarcity the the scarcity of pussy or whatever right so my point is uh but they that the the the hot girl falls in love with him and he takes and he takes care of the kids and it's the whole thing and it ends nicely you give people a show like this stop just giving them

you know give them something to believe in it's all bullshit the reality is yes they might die in Taco Bell or any other family you know don't defend I love Taco Bell I think it's

I think they're doing the right thing I won't make that very clear I'm not shitting on Taco Bell I think it's probably they're not serving the lettuce right so it's fine I'm just saying but like you have to take care of these things you have to protect these things don't take this as be

I want you to go to Taco Bell Taco Bell Corporation I'm on your side make me you know sponsor me give me a Taco Bell hat with a big taco that looks like a fucking like a dead man's pussy or whatever I mean look it ain't gonna look pretty

or you can make I guess a taco can look cute too whatever cute taco cute make make the rate come cute taco put on the menu it's just got like a cute lettuce and tomatoes I don't know I'm just saying give people hope again.

Don't give them anything real, but give them hope. Give them, give them a scam. Let them believe in elves and little tree, trees. Little talking trees and elves, the Lord of the Rings. Make it nice again. Make it, make, you know, oh, make it very great. What do we make great? People are shitting uncontrollably.

Nothing's great. Bring back animals. Like fucking cool. Like make Taco Bell have that Chihuahua again. We everyone liked that. What happened to him? Oh, it was a racist Chihuahua because that Mexican accent. It's honoring the Mexican legacy of tacos.

Yes, it's not authentic. It's still come, you know, you still invented it, though. But the hamburger is still, should Germany be offended if we, if McDonald's, made Ronald McDonald's a German guy? I mean, they should, they should be offended. Why is Ronald a Scottish guy? Well, I mean, the McDonald brothers, I guess, you know, were Scottish. But yeah, German, hamburger's a German.

if they said we're going to make them German to honor Germany for inventing the hamburger or whatever I don't think Germany should be offended so I don't think Mexican people should be offended that the Taco Belcherawa was Mexican is honoring the people who invented the top these aren't authentic so what it's still the people who invented it

not anything has to be authentic just make it nice just fucking just get a piece just get a piece of the American dream and shut up about enjoy yourself both for me for the Senate for Christ's sake and the main I guess right May is probably the best one write me in great comp I got a nice salary right I'll vote I'll do stuff for you

but it'll be nice I mean I'm actually I actually need the money so it'll be good these guys never need the money they're all funded by whatever fandom you know phantom ghosts I'm not funded by anything make me a senator and I'll give you everything or they'll kill me i don't know but yeah we'll do it together thanks much for tuning in appreciate you all uh yeah and just you take it one day at the time and you know be careful with the lettuce and you know we're all gonna just spain good job and you know we're gonna get through this enjoy you have a good night