Kump - Kentucky Derby Deaths | College Campus Protests | KUMP Ep. 171

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

Ray and Lucie discus the Kentucky Derby, College protests, and much more. Sign up at https://www.patreon.com/RayKump for an extra episode every week! Follow Kump on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/raykump Kump Hand Merch https://bonfire.com/store/kump/ Follow Ray on Sound Cloud https://on.soundcloud.com/QbP8

Hello and welcome to Com. Hello. Hello, Lucy. Hi. Welcome to the Com podcast, the premiere podcast for comedy, Related to the news, related in topics. And make sure, and now do you hear, make sure you like and subscribe, all right? We tried this last week and it worked.

So you can be part of something that works. Just you got, you got to come, you're here, like it, because it's good. Trust me, it's good, all right? Don't pull this nonsense of like, well, let me see if it's good or not. Just, what's, it's nothing to you, all right? You hear anyway, all right? So just like it. and subscribe, that's not it.

There's a notification bell thing. And I'm going to get a graphic, all right? Because people don't know. Because people have been saying to me where you've been doing this for months and I thought you were gone. I thought you would pass away, that you had gone to Tibet. And now I have all these episodes. And YouTube didn't tell me because the bell, there's a bell in there.

Right? and like you have to it's like the enlightenment right with the so like do that hit that button and here's a deal i haven't seen my daughter in a long time i have a daughter who in previous marriage and my ex-wife's lawyers are very good and i so i don't i never get to see her and but my my lawyer who's not particularly great but he thinks that if I can show a certain, like, you know, increase in subscribers

on our channel, that, like that, we can show that to the judge. And I go, what's that going to show him? Why is he going to care about my YouTube outdoor with him? It just,

it seems to get something going on. It shows you're a competent person and that you, you know, you deserve more than just monitored visitation. Right. Why don't even have that? Um,

I mean, I don't know. I mean, look, I think it's good because I don't want I like my daughter but the grand scheme of things

like I don't I'd rather someone else if she starts choking like you know help her you know so maybe that maybe the monitor can like have first aid because I don't want to be the one

responsible for saving my daughter's life if she like you know eats like a knife or something kids do stupid things right sure you remember the around a kid

and they just like a like a razor? Yeah. And like, yeah, why is you baby proof my house? The house. Well, that won't be my problem if it's a monitor situation. We're in, like, a lawyer's office. And then my lawyer left a razor blade there.

It's bad for a kid's confidence of the person who stops them from choking on a razor blade as their dad. Yeah. So that's really the mother's role. We have people for that. Yeah. The monitors. That's why. I mean, otherwise, why are you there?

You know? Because it's a weird thing. Like, mommy. why is that woman or man have to be there when I'm with daddy when they're just making it like you know they're then to make sure you're okay why wouldn't I be okay he's dad it puts

like the unknown is scary to a child but if like you know she starts biting a razor blade one day and that person like saves her like oh that's why that's not my fault you know I'm I'm at the lawyer's office you understand

you understand so subscribe and like and the notification bell um i think i think things are really you're gonna love my daughter lucy you're gonna really are you okay as as soon as we we get uh rights to her do you mind about we're not going to have rights to her i don't know what you think we're going to do like we're going to sell the film rights to Anna amy well whatever they are as soon as we get we get contact with her do you mind you keep making it seem like like the movie mail on fire or something. As soon as we touch ground, do you... You were supposed to make this better.

That's not why I married you, but I thought, I thought this would put a better spin on things. Look, look, regardless, as soon... You're making this sound like a heist. Regardless, as soon as we're in the daughter's nest, do you mind, would you mind if I start slowly turning her against her mother? I mean, what, what are your tactics going to be? just you know like uh just just you know little acts of favoritism mixed with uh you know just

things acts of favoritism i'll you know i'll mix them with just anecdotes i've heard like you know uh i don't think i can convince her that her mother did anything to me but i could maybe convince her that he that she did something to a mutual friend so you're gonna like just stroll in to this lawyer's office right while i'm well well i'm with my daughter yeah well like a ice cream, for instance. And I'm going, ah, and I Amy got you an ice cream. Didn't get one for you, like to the

monitor and the lawyer, because you're nothing. And Amy gets all the ice cream, and she's just like, thank you. And then you're like, so. Did you ever tell you what your mother, how she made your daddy fat? And I think you're going to,

this is, I don't know if you were trained for this kind of subterfuge. I'll just, you know, kind of chip away at whatever, you know, discipline structure the mother is created. So you want, you want, and then I'll heavily imply she has a mental illness. That's, that's, that's, like, my, like, Anna, Amy? Uh, the child? No, the mother, to Anna, Anna, Anna, Amy. So you want to, so you want to break, like, whatever my, Mike's wife is, like, you know, whatever system she's put in place to make sure that my daughter goes to school and does her homework and, like, eats her vegetables.

Yeah. You want to undo that. Yeah. Okay. Just a little bit. And then gaslight my child into thinking her own mother is mentally unfit? Yeah. That's very traumatic. I mean, it's one thing to turn her against the mom.

But I mean... Look, initially it will be. Yeah. But I think ultimately, the closer relationship she'll end up having with you will more than make up for that trauma. I don't know if I would want... I mean, so what if she ends up being, like, our kid? I don't know if I can deal with that I don't want that

I don't want I don't want I don't want to be you know I don't want to be a deadbeat dad but I don't want to be like you know her dad I'm not saying like we signed a contract or anything but like you know that's I didn't get into you know this relationship thing I'd have that level of responsibility what's the goal here then why why are you trying to bring

you know I'm just trying to get into my just friendly competition I think competition you know It's good, it's good for women to have, you know, healthy competition with each other. I'm going to buy you a plant. I've got to teach you to nurture things. This is, this is not how you win a child's love.

I don't think so. I don't know if I've ever done that, but pretty sure it's not by, so like. Winning her love is the second phase. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So like and subscribe. Patreon.

We have a Patreon. that was all the judge would be very impressed if you signed up for our Patreon it's only $5 a month and you get four extra episodes every week that's real nice that's a that's a that's a real treat for you I think and and supports the show just treat for us it's a win win if you like if you know if you're if you're happy here because there's more of the good stuff that's why I try to tell my kids

you know what's the point of life dad get more of the good stuff right yeah i think that's a great saying yeah that's it's simple it's elegant it's like it sounds like i'm trying to tell them like you know go you go score go score some you know uh

elicit you usually you call pussy good stuff you just knows your word get word good stuff I'm at school like you know cop you know cop some uh some fun some powder oh something something

interesting Yeah. But yeah, sure. You're just not. I don't know if we should involve you with that, Amy. This is a problem. Moving on. So look, what all girls like?

This is just transition. Horses. They do. I assume my child likes horses because why wouldn't she? I don't particularly, they're fine. But women are fascinated by horses. Mm-hmm. Why is that?

Well, I think that's a combination of things. For one thing, they're objectively majestic, beautiful creatures. What does majestic mean to you? Just, you know, like, you imagine, anything that you can imagine frolicing in a meadow is majestic, I think. I think majestic means, like, the king, doesn't it? Like, you think the horse should be a king? I think it should be, but, you know, we don't limit it. in that kind of world.

I think women fans are secretly just want like to pledge loyalty to a horse king which is you know I mean they are strong whatever. Horses are great

and also you know you ride you can ride them anything you can ride. Can you ride them? I've ridden a horse. Sure. I love to have a horse to ride me. I mean

in the future we'll be able to do that. Well some might have attempted that. No I don't mean I mean a very pure. pure way. Yeah. All right. With some kind of strange cybernet, like where they implant things into my body.

Mm. Not, no, not that. Like, you know, like, like drill hydraulics into my body. It's still, it's still evoking. No, it's still evoking. No, drilling hydraulics, I think, has gotten away from the, from the filth. Drilling hydraulic pumps into my body and gears and pullies and levies, a system of weights and measures that will allow

me to support the weight of a full horse. I mean honestly, like you could, you might be able to pull it off of a baby horse a horse right out of the way. A pony? Oh, a fawn. Yeah. Oh, I could, yeah, okay. I don't want to. Look,

anything's covered in placental fluid. Why do we need all these words for baby things? We have the word baby. We can just put it in front of anything. Because baby is a human. There's no other thing. I mean, it's cute to say baby horse. course, but it's a fawn. I don't know, because they eat them.

Like, why is there a word for veal? Because, like, you don't want to put baby cow on the menu. Right? Fair. Veal roll-a-teen. But you don't put calf on the menu either. You eat something. Well, you put.

Right. Okay. You still need layers of euphemism beyond that. Well, grab, I mean, I guess when you're on the farm or the ranch, you go, grab the calf. It's just a nicer way than saying, like, grab the baby cow. right that's words the less words you say in the farm the better yeah because farmers are typically very uh what what's the what's the word for like people who are like you know they judge you for having the vocabulary i don't know what that is but you know they they bully you if you're smart

so you want you want to just say as little as possible like you if you could if you could grunt with pictures it'd be better so even it seems i know you're you're thinking well but you have extra words here But like, yeah, but you're saying less. Fawn. Fawn, you know, it says it's better than, you know, Fawn, bring Fawn, you know, no conjunctions. As opposed to saying, bring me to baby cow. Please bring me to baby cow.

You really don't think much about farmers, do you? I think the guy, look, I think, I think the farmer himself can be very intelligent. You're all in, I mean, whatever. It's just what you choose to focus on, right? I think the people who work. for the farmer or bitter because they're not working their own land. They're working some other guys' land. And they're very quick to like, you know, they're very anti-authoritarian and they confuse

that with me having vocabulary as being like some kind of, you know, elitist cop. Farmers have always been very cruel to me. And what context of farmers been cruel? I've been to farms on Long Island. I've been to farms upstate. And they're always very suspicious whenever I'm around. I visited farms. They treat me like I'm some kind of egghead,

even though, you know, not that smart. I think you're at MIT, but they just act like I'm some kind of, you know, a feat. They've hit me. They've thrown cow, you know, manure at me. I've had bad experience of farmers. But I have friends or friends, friends, families.

They're very smug. I think farmers are great. I'm saying, I don't mean, like, they're bad people, they just hate me. So I resent them. Wow. People resent people who don't like them. Yeah, that's fair. I'm not some city guy judging

farmers. I once sort of had a crush on a farmer. Get out of here. Because I worked on a farm in upstate New York. Yeah. Not really, I wasn't like, you know, really tilling the earth or anything. But, you know, I did, like, there was a farm in a restaurant. Oh, right. People would do tours around the farm. And so. It was not like a

chef's farm though like a farm to a table farm it was a chef's farm that's a different thing that's like the the major d's planting herbs that's not i'm talking about guys who like you know plant man santo seeds for like you know rootabagas some that's shit but there was an attractive guy who kind of like ran the greenhouse like he was the farmer the head farmer of like their greenhouse yeah yeah part in his hair though and uh you know do you have a do they have a mo haircut from three stooges he had kind of like a shaggy yeah That was, you, you fell in love with a fake farmer. But go on.

A burst in your bubble before you even tell the story. But tell me about how, how grand he was. Well, you know, he was always just kind of like in there, like, you know, fiddling, fiddling about with the plants. Fiddling. It was just like an attractive, uh, look. I don't know. Like a guy, you know.

All right. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't friggin' fiddle around with some stupid computer audio equipment he just he just worked the land now like some guy who came and talked to his own daughter i get where you're getting that no i like this more what you have a nice tan um he was pretty tan he had the farmer's tan i'm sorry i'm sorry that you know there's no sun in uh in the studio i'm sorry i got sunburned last week well look i was a child then now i realized that real men you know work with uh cords real men drill hydraulics into their backs and instruments of death.

Anyway. Point is. Why are we talking about farms? I don't know. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. The Veal. The Kentucky Derby.

This is a strange transition. And you're in Kentucky Derby. It's the grandest of all races, I believe. Is that true? It's today. prestigious. As we're recording this, it's probably happening right now. we could be what we're not that kind of show we're not you know i got into horse gambling

uh earlier in the fall last fall this would have been great for me but i burned out very quickly on it there's something you know this is all i mean that's what the horses are for right you don't eat horses anymore no you just keep we just typically keep them to gamble to to do races and honestly when you watch it on one of these apps there's just horse races all over the world like you i the kentucky derby is one of the big what three the big three wait the triple crown yeah you know all about horses you don't know triple crown um yeah it's it's the kentucky derby and then two others it's the belmont it's belmont the belmont stakes then there's a kentucky derby and it's i think there's uh churchill downs maybe the preakness i don't know about this because i

protested. It might be the preakness. I believe horses should be free. And to do what? Do you realize what horses would do if we let them be free? They would trample all over us. They would destroy our lives. Do you think horses would attack us? Yes. We liberated them. Of course what they do. We spent the last 5,000 years just subjugating them making them carry us around as we conquer other people. Yeah. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with them carrying us around if we need to, you know, just get from point A to point B. but um i but in their downtime they can just you know go hang out the bubble gum shrimp yeah i think they should be able to frolic with each other in their downtime really is how much horse dung littered the streets of new york before like the car is started taking over oh right it was like up to out of your waist and horse dung yeah but i blame horse manure i blame

boss tweed for that i think he could i think he i think he could have you know offered a service If he wasn't just like, you know, strong arming people, he could have offered, like, a horse manure cleaning up service. You think he just left it around? I think they probably tried to get rid of it. If you want me, you think you want to go back in time and like, hey, your only idea is like, we should do something about this manure. It's like, what?

What's the idea? Like, get a shovel? A shovel? What are you envisioning? That is the constant, you, you, you, what's your plan um i don't know yeah you just get a lot of shovels a lot of people that shovel the horse manure and or maybe people clean up after their own horses i don't know right you know you could you could you know ship it up you can have composting stations where they could be sent up to

you know feed the earth and and and be used to like you know create farms and stuff oh to grow vegetables you mean to grow it to grow i thought you're going to feed poor people I mean, can you eat manure? They want to, but I don't think most people want it. It's probably good for you, right? Is animal manure bad for you? I don't think it's great for you. Can we Google that?

Just right, is horse manure safe to eat? I think we know the answer, but. No threat to humans. By the way, dogs love to eat fresh manure. Just don't let them kiss you. Why not? It's totally safe, apparently. dog food this is this this website this site is called safety of horse manure

but then how do we control the dogs um let's get you know what you mean it's fine this guy's like this guy's speaking on both sides of his mouth oh like you know it's safe to eat but don't let the dog kiss you like it's covered in delicious horse manure what's the problem here click on click on the link is this some is this just some kind of weird like fetish site make this hi all wait this is this is not actually a website this is just someone's post this is just some poster on like an alternate reddit called house hi all i have an opportunity to pick up some horse manure why it's described as quote in terms of composted my interpretation

uh blah blah blah i took a look at it and it doesn't smell but it also is not broken down you can still clearly see the shavings and the horse quote poop all right so it's manure some kind of like thing where it's like you make a pudding out of it or something where it doesn't seem like i always assume i guess i guess when you see manure it's usually like a sludge so i guess you kind of mix it together and he's saying it's just still kind of clumpy uh and my primary concern is that my kids and dog tend to wander into my flower beds even though they shouldn't is this broken down enough to be safe why don't you control your children right i mean look I would say if your children are prone to eating manure they find, you know, or feces.

Yeah. If they think they're sneaking treats when they go into your flower bed and eat any horse shit. Maybe don't, don't bring it in. Like, you don't seem like a guy who's like, I mean, if you were a farmer, you just, manure would be a part of your life, right? And the kids would have to have already been accustomed to it. So I don't, maybe the hobby of getting a, hey, I got, I got a line on some real big, big, big, huge pile of horse shit.

And I really like to make this happen. Now, my kids, I'm afraid, they're just going to start chomping down because my kids love to eat shit. I have really disgusting children who just, they eat, they just, you know, they'll sometimes, they work in teams. Like my, my daughter will say, Daddy, Daddy, when I'm in the bathroom, and I'll run out and I'll pull my pants up. And it's just, you know, you know, you know, you know, no one wants to do that, but your kids are in trouble. So I pull up my pants even though I'm not, I'm not clean. and I'm wiped and I run and my kid and my boy will jump into the bathroom

and start eating my shit it's horrible they're just human animals my children like velociraptors so I mean but that being still I really don't want to miss this opportunity to get a useless pile of horse shit

so please help me out here on house.com. What is this site? Who, like, who is this? Who's like, look, Reddit's just too, it's just too much going on on Reddit. I got to make my own thing. Come, come over to how's dot com.

I don't know where these things come from. Nothing. Yeah. No, this is a. There is a pat. This guy, this guy, oh, this is, oh, okay. I stand corrected.

This is 18 years ago. this is a real this is a real treat we're looking back into the internet yeah now i get it this before reddit before like all these things got consolidated the internet used to be a fun place before all these sites these like social media sites and like amazon consolidated everything and you had things like how's dot com where you would be at someone ask about you know whether their kids can be horse shit or not uh this guy byron says 18 years ago there was a pathogen that can be pass from horses to humans. But you must either freshly deposited

hot horse bun. Does he mean like, is that a euphemism? Is that a euphemism or is he saying you got to eat the horse's ass? The pathogen does not live once the bun cools. Again, basic prevention, don't eat hot horse shit.

Byron. Well, Byron doesn't cause, you know, he doesn't mince words, Byron. I like this guy, Byron. I hope he's still alive. 18 years later. I want to try to find this guy Is there a whole community of people Who eat who eat cold

Hors shit? Like it's like that We're that we're not privy to you? I don't want to Accus them of that I just feel like but they're But they're men of the world And you're saying look if you're gonna do it If you're gonna eat that horse

Just don't eat it hot And then you don't worry about it Look do what you want to do Just don't eat it hot That's why there's only advice I'll give you This is a very early internet to sign one's name after writing something like that. Right, right. Byron. Kismer, also 18 years ago, this manure needs to be composited before going into your garden.

If available, I would mix it three parts shredded leaves with one part of this manure and wet it and it should cook quite well. So he doesn't mention anything about eating it. Byron was like, look, just don't eat the hot version. Right. This guy is more just giving you advice on how to make the manure. you know kind of make it like more uniform and manure-esque like so he seems like a less fun guy he probably he probably enjoyed the current version of the internet not byron uh really brian is a man of a different time yeah byron is a true romantic so anyway we were

what were getting at with the horse manure well we were talking about the kandke derby at first well that's why we're so the kentucky derby is today it's a really it's a it's a it's a it's a day of um oh white women like horses oh yeah we were talking about that too yeah um so basically today is the kentucky derby and if you're as you're listening to we're watching this you already know the answer or the winner or you don't care and nor and same for us i'm not going to look up who won um i spent about a week doing a lot of horse gambling on those apps um and it was a lot of fun it was a lot of fun it was a lot of lot of action but you know it just it's addictive yeah and uh i wish i wish i'd pace myself to get to

one of these big races so i could i could wear like a hot toddy or whatever and like you know wear a big hat people like go to the kinnucky derby and wear big hats oh yeah and so it's a big social event you know it's very hat hat centric and suit centric and and they have these cocktails, but apparently a lot of horses can die there, which is surprising. This article in New York Times is claiming that last year, let's scroll down a little bit. I want to make sure I get my facts straight. Kentucky Derby has been run through two world wars, the Great Depression, Civil Rights Unrest.

I mean, that's most recently a life paralyzing pandemic. I mean, they didn't stop the Kentucky. Derby because of the Selma March. I was like, well, it seems like something to brag about. Hey, we kept this going during the race riots. We don't, we didn't give it. It's been runs through two world wars, the Great Depression, that trouble making Martin Luther King Jr.

Yeah. Dred Scott. Who is the Nate Turner? Yeah. John Brown. The John Brown Rebellion, we didn't stop it for nothing. Slave revolts. We didn't give it.

We just kept raising these horses. good for you guys um now on 150th anniversary of america's most famous race the sport of kings uh faces another formidable foe itself oh uh last year be uh beneath churchill down's iconic twin spires seven horses died uh which seems like a lot so yeah i was this during the week of oh during the week of the showpiece event i was about to play devil's advocate But, yeah, seven horses died during the week of the showpiece event. Two of them in races in the hours leading up to the derby. That's the thing.

There's all these races, right? You think the Kentucky Derby is one thing. They race at like 4 p.m. They go, why they're, because there's like hundreds of races that week, probably, I'm assuming. There's races every day and then 10 times a day. They race all the time. There's all these different groups. There's too many, really.

It shouldn't be that fun for the gamblers. Sure. I mean, it is. I mean, it's just so, I can't tell you enough how much I, like, just the rush I got. It was, because it was, it was just like, I knew nothing about them, these horses. Yeah. Their names, a few stats they give you. You know, they give you these stats on the website.

You go, well, I guess that, that looks like a bigger number than that one. This one's three-fifths to win. You know, it's like the one, because the thing, you bet the, you bet the best one, you get a lot less money if they win, right? Right. But also, the winner only wins half the time. The number one horse only wins half the time or something like that. So you can't even be conservative, right? Right.

It's not like betting the stupid, you know, the Patriots when they were good. And like, you know, to win the Super Bowl and they're probably going to win. No. Yeah, I mean, it's not intuitive, but it's like the victory is so much sweeter when it's just random. But I knew guys who would, like, they have all these things they do, these exact your things. You pick these three boxes and these two. when you put two horses here, there's all sorts of a weird math.

All of a sudden, guys who are like, you know, grave diggers are like, you know, are literally like, you know, John Nash,

you know, a beautiful mind. But are they, are there machinations actually helping them? Or is that just like the, or is that just the delusion of addiction? They told me they did.

Yeah. I don't, I didn't see their bank accounts. They said, you know, these were guys who claimed, who I worked with, uh,

in blue collar, you know, jobs who told me how they, they made, they were they were consistently profitable but you know they're working with me so how good i don't know sure i don't know what it seems suspicious it seems like uh but who am i to say i'm i'm i'm i'm a bum um but it's so fun it's the point it's so much it's just so the rush you get because the horses just are running right and you get you you pick this horse and it's like it's

ahead if it's leading in the beginning it's probably not going to win yeah it's so crazy it just swings that happen are insane um you best of horses didn't you i did i think i may have gotten you into it yeah you did why are you v so silent then yeah well yeah i i because i went to this like years ago i went to the saratoga race track and i bet on the the second to win yeah because i like the name of the horse right and it won was the name of the horse uh it was the name of the horse escape from reality and it was the queen song

yeah and uh oh you know what I don't think I even made that connection oh really I know that song but I didn't make that connect I was just like oh it was escape from reality it's his whimsical

oh okay that probably was what it was about it's what he mean rhapsody yeah it's probably the year the movie came out um but yeah so I was like I was like maybe I'll just like get on the app

and bet on a couple of raises just the way I did it last time and just bet on the name. And I think it worked once and then swiftly stopped working. Yeah. No, it's too good. But that's what drives this horse death enterprise.

And I don't want to slander to the Kentucky Derby. But according to the New York Times, a lot of horses that are dying. At least last year. Is it happening this week? Well, no, I guess next year when they publish an article next year.

everything in the york times apparently is a year is a year behind yeah but is there like uh in the days after five more sustained fatal injuries are they saying like did they do they say how like let's let's go well let's go through it let's not accuse them of journalistic malpractice just yet it got uh let's go let's go really even get to that go back up last year but he churchill down there's two of them in races in the hours leading up to the derby and the days after five more sustained you did read this i'm I'm sorry, prompting Churchill officials to move their races to another Kentucky racetrack. So they think the problem was the racetrack? I mean, we forgot we forgot we left a bunch of rat poison on the racetrack.

We got a lot of rats because we got, so we, the locals got really into like, you know, eating, um, eating horse shit. Um, because then there's a web post they found and, uh, whatever, they just kept leaving, They were leaving it around. Rats, you know, rat poison. I don't know. The horses are dead. It got worse. A cult trained by the sports

most recognized and controversial trainer. Bob Baffertrck. It's a strange way to put it. The sports, not the sports greatest or most successful, most recognized. What does that mean exactly? Because often, like,

when you recognize someone that's like with an award, or they just mean like the most notorious. I wonder why he's controversial. He just, he has a thing where he just motivates the horse. Like, if you don't win, I'll kill you. I'm fucking, if you don't win, I'll shoot you in a fucking head. You piece of fucking, you, you think I won't kill a horse?

Bob, I'm Bob Baffert. He died at Pembleau Racecourse. Hours, wait, hold on. A cult trained by the sports most recognized and controversial trainer, Bob Bafford. The horse died. died at Pimlico race course hours before Mr. Baffert saddled the winner of the Preakness stakes the second leg of the Triple Crown. I don't understand that sentence.

Two more horses not trained by Mr. Bafford died in races surrounding the Belmont Stakes, the third leg in June. Wait, hold on. Why are we bringing down Bob Baffer here? A horse trained by Bafford died at Pimilar race course. And then he did good with a horse. And then two more horses not trained. So why are we acting like, I guess they're saying that this guy's a, this is a very confusing

arc. I think, I'm, just for context. I think I got it. Yeah. So basically, I think what they were trying to do is go, hey, look, this guy, it's not just, like, shitty horses. This guy is, like, one of the most recognized guys. And his horse died.

Right. And two other ones that weren't his die, too. But, like, his horse died. But he's also the most controversial. So what does that mean? We don't know why he's controversial. I just looked it up. And the controversy is basically that his horses have been linked to at least 30 failed drug tests in the last four decades.

Right. So he's drugging them up. Okay. I forgot. Look, because we did skim this article before. I just totally forgot. So if you scroll down, they're going to plug their documentary and then say a lot of this is blood doping. Which is interesting.

I didn't know horses could blood dope. Yeah. I wonder how they do. that i guess they just shoot them up with like you know just feed them pills epipens pills what pills you think um adderall you're saying honestly i i i i thought you when you first said when you first said pill i thought i was going to say i thought you meant like they'll give them oxies because it's dope the fact that you went to that's actually very fascinating what would have who just gave horses a bunch of adderol

Is that why it's an Adderall shortage in this country? We're just going to horse feed. We're just giving horses buckets of batterol. Oh, man. That would be interesting. You think, you think Adderall is not usually that good for like things like a, I mean,

it's a quick race, though. It could make, you wouldn't want to give it to like, you know, LeBron James probably during the game. Right. Because it's like, you know, I think you kind of have these falloffs and like,

it probably cramp up. But for a quick race, give it a horse like, you know, maybe 10 tabs of Adderall, just take it from your kid. And like, that's actually, that could be very, maybe we should, we might have to, I always say this, but we might have to remove this episode or this part because I don't want people stealing our idea.

Because we're going to, next we or we might be in the Kentucky Preakness. So let's, let's see, what's going on? At the historic Saratoga race course in New York, 13 horses died while racing, and training at the sport's signature summer meet, including two who seemed poised to win their races before breaking down near the finish line a nationally televised broadcasts. This, I didn't hear about it.

Oh, I hope one of them wasn't escape from reality. Oh, escape from reality, look, no, he's already jerky and glue. Yeah. You think, did he win? Yeah, he won. Okay. What was that, like five years ago? How long?

It was more than that, probably. How long do you think this game goes on for? Do you think, you think, you think, you think, do you think this, horses like no one Ryan like he's like Cal Ripkin Jr. Oh. Playing for 30 years. Yeah, he's been dead for, they shoot them. I'm sorry.

Oh. It's like, I don't know why. I mean, I guess he might be studded. If you, if escape from reality was like a consistent winner. Yeah. They might have, you know, put him on a farm and then bang horses all day for a hundred grand of pop.

Not bad. Not bad life. It's not a bad in life. Yeah. You know, the manure you want. Bang other horses. I wish I was a horse.

Love to be. If I was a horse. I mean, it just seems like a fun. It seems like what you do your job and then you get the reward. Horses are the only thing that makes sense in this world. You don't win. You don't get to go to heaven. That's heaven for them.

They just eat Adderall and bang horses for money. But you got to win first. You got to be a winner. You know, rich kids are the problem. They muddy the waters. Let's roll down a bit. Let's get the bottom of this. Enough speculating, spurious speculation.

Over the past 12 months, New York Times analyzed confidential documents and covert recordings. Maybe I had law enforcement and obtained exclusive interviews as part of an investigation to why so many horses supposedly in pink physical condition we're breaking down so frequently in a documentary the new york times presents broken horses that's treating on hulu the times found that's broken horses go to hell new york times the times found that reckless breeding and dope and practices compromised veterinarians and trainers and decades long resistance to changes that could save horse lives

have been placed a multi-billion-dollar ecosystem in peril and put the social acceptability of one of America's oldest sports at risk. And lost us a fuck ton of money. They did this all documentary because some New York Times journalists lost his life savings at the racetrack. When his horse died at the finish line. I bet I don't know a lot of journalists, but I bet a lot from big horse gamblers. it just seems like, you know,

because they think it's more noble. There's seedy people. Yeah. They think it's not. They think it's, that you get into it because of the hot toddies and the, and the Pim's cups,

you know, all these cocktails and the hats. Right. But then you start betting and you start rubbing, you start giving horse, you know, give that horse on the lateral. I'm an intelligent person.

I don't want to stop. I mean, you start writing articles, just give horses laterals. Yeah. Give us especially escape from reality. oh man so i don't know uh is there a triple crown in play no i guess they'd be talking about that right i can't think of a way to care about this like that particularly it doesn't seem like

that big a deal it doesn't seem like the highest stakes thing in the world unless you care about horses which you know it seems like you know what's i mean this is is this more or less important than kids being dragged off college campuses for protesting a war I don't know I do like horses right

so everyone we're moving on because I just can't I just realize this horses and I don't care let's look talking so what's going on with these college

these kids we were talking about last week a bit right but you know they're at Columbia they're at USC there's these encampments right

they're protesting and then this week they all went in these New York, these NYPDs, the LAPD, I think, respectively, and they stormed in and they took back these college campuses. What say you? It definitely seems like, look, it definitely seems like I don't think they would have done this if it was a cause that they were just like more ingratiated to.

Right. And for that reason, it seems unfair. Like, it's like, you know, they would have, like... If this was, if this was to stop giving horses at a roll, they would have just let that, these protests go on indefinitely. Possibly. I think that sometimes, if the university can co-sign it somehow, if it can somehow, like, improve their reputation,

like, as, you know, their social justice reputation, then they'll encourage the students and they'll do kind of what they can to cooperate. with them but like but when they're protesting the university itself for its entanglements with a country that's like you know I think I think even generously speaking committing war crimes like it's like you know now it's sure now it's like oh we're gonna crack down on you and also like this and also nonviolent protest methods are violent now and like you know making noise is now like an act of aggression well I think they don't throw it be fair I think some of these kids might have been throwing eggs well I'm making it out of they're throwing eggs I

I don't know if they're throwing eggs. I just said that as a, for instance. Yeah. I think some of them are being, like, you know, bullying sometimes. Right. I think in a group of that thing, here's the thing. I think you should be able to protest, especially war, but anything. And let these kids, you know, you should encourage you with these kids,

even though it's an Ivy League school and they're probably going to be, you know, these are the people who are going to be, you know, selling the weapon systems in a couple of years. Let them protest. It's better that they're on the side of the angels now. that even though they're going to be you know doctor death in a year yeah am I being

prestigious there I don't know you do you do you think I'm being dismissive I don't know I didn't go an Ivy League school I didn't you know go to much of a you know the school I went to was not much you know not great right

and I didn't help the matter so they wouldn't let me go to an Ivy League school but I got it I got I got I kind of feel like these kids are uh that's not the point though the point but you let anything fester for two like you have you have these things have to end at a certain point you don't agree i look i think i think you let any group of young kids 18 year old kids get together i mean we had people coming over our you know our neighbor across the hall last night and just have a house party whatever

and just like dozens of kids keep come i had to go out and scream at them at one point and called them animals. And they were actually conciliatory. So when I saw how young they were, they were, like, 18 or whatever, but I shouldn't, you know, I felt a little, not really that bad, but kind of bad. You shouldn't feel bad. Right.

But it's just, you gave them an invaluable experience. Yeah. Yeah. But that means, they seemed, but then I heard them, like, whispering to each other, like, later in the night. And, like, they learned, because a lot of these things fester. Yeah. And so, like, yeah, can't, I mean, if you just let these kids stay

forever on the college campus. They're going to start drawing things and saying this is my, like, you know, remember the Chaz thing in Portland? I don't know if there's a school or not, but people make these little camps. They make their fortresses, the pillow fortresses.

They go apocalypse now. Right. It's just, you're asking for Trump, Occupy Wall Street. This can't be forever. It just can't be forever. Look, I do think part of protesting is sometimes getting arrested. you know but it's like but you know they should arrest them sooner is your point

but like you know it it does seem a little I'm not sure how like the can't how the colleges now have any credibility and saying they like support their students free speech rights because it's it's you know what did they even say that I think they often say that I've never heard that I've always been kicked out of schools and told them I've been told them the things I'm saying are not allowed. And I never said anything that, you know, I think that I thought was that bad. But they were very clear that they were not having it.

Right. So I must have gone to a different school than you. That being said, yeah, I mean, these schools are. Right, right, out of college? You got kicked out of college? I was treated poorly by the administration of college, I feel like. I was not. I didn't know that.

I thought you just dropped out. Well, I didn't drop that. You were mistreated? I mean, I went to different. oncology at different times and I floated through you know the drifter yeah which is part of the no no one wants to admit it you only you only you know the real story of america is for rainbow first blood because we like to talk about being a frontier country a country of you know go-getters and upstarts and travelers and it's no one likes a uh a transient person though and that's that's the

moral of first blood if you're a transient person there's gonna some some some sheriff or some dean It's just going to, it's going to, you know, put you in your, it's just going to, you know, lock you up, pick you out, treat you like, you know, whatever. Yeah. You're being incredulous here, but, you know. I think, look, you're a, you're a rebel. You're a kind of, the kind of rebel people don't deal with often. Sure. You know, you're very smart.

Wasn't, you're probably, you know, evidence doesn't bore that out. You're probably threatening. Honestly, you're, you're, but. They're probably, I could see you kind of wounding, uh, uh, professor's ego. Oh, they, like, yeah, sure. Yeah. It was more, it was more, it was more just kind of, I'm not trying to paint a whole goodwill hunting thing.

No, yeah, I didn't, they didn't, I wasn't really wounding anyone's it. It was more like, kind of, you could tell they're just like, now, shut up. We were asking, like, if the, if the, like, if the French, like, some kind of French, like, some kind of French, you know, spies were responsible for the great room. American Revolution I was trying Okay, wait a minute I might need to retract everything I just said

Well I was in a class about American like you know American was like American diplomacy from like 1740 to 1890 or something shit And we were talking about like It just seemed to me Like you kept stressing how like These guys were all lawyers and doctors

They were doing quite well It was very odd that they DART did this revolution It actually went against their like you know material uh interest yeah

and me being a cynical person cynical person I am I I look I don't I feel like I was transmitting the idea like yeah I knew it was a little I didn't have a vocabulary perhaps it was like you know is there any indication anywhere like you know some kind of version of like you know maybe French like I don't know intelligence or whatever like

really maybe kind of getting these guys rabble rouse a little bit like, you know, he's like, none. Like, he's very, he didn't even consider it. No. There's in a way, like, shut up, you idiot. No, of course not. Which I think to this day is like, they probably did. Because it's great for them.

Look, I, it's not that I couldn't imagine it happening, but it's also not the kind of thing that you just get to like, kind of. I'm so disgusted with me. Like, it's just like, it either happened. There's either evidence that it happened or there isn't. But look, I mean, he's, I'm not. a Ph.D. I assume he's reading little parchments here and there when he was younger to get his Ph.D. And maybe there was some weird cable, some weird Morse code, little letter that someone found. We don't quite know, this is not enough to put in the history

books, but this is odd. This is a historical oddity. Maybe, you know, there were, there were spies in the ancient world, right? You know, I mean, there were spies and things. People, people muck raked, you know, you're acting like spies were invented in, like, 19, 60. Yeah. Look, I see where you're coming from. You should like, maybe this could, maybe this could take off. Maybe this channel should become about how the, you know,

American universities are suppressing the truth about French spies before the American Revolution. The point is, I was, you know, I was given no quarter. So I can't relate to these colleges, Ivy League kids who are, you know, like, told that they're going to shape the world. And then they create, like, a gun that, you know, shoots a horse from space or whatever. Yeah. So, I mean, but I still think they should be allowed to protest for a while.

Right. That's my takeaway. And maybe you're right. Maybe the cops should just get them quicker saying, get their little Instagram video. I'm not saying they don't care. They do care probably. But it's just like, it actually hurts. I think it hurts the cause to do it forever.

People, like, if it's just one big day, hey, like 100,000 kids. protested, the cops hit them in the head. You're like, damn, that sounds bad. It's good for the kids. But if it's like weeks and you're watching people eat sushi and like, you know, and dance the macarena, people turn. I see what you're, I see where you're coming from. There is a kind of a thing now with protesting where people want, people want protest to be

this super, this like really like, you know, organic improvisational thing. Right. Yeah. And really like the most effective protests are usually pretty like planned in advance. Right. And they know they're- By French intelligence. And by French intelligence.

And they know they're going to get arrested and they have a plan for how they're going to behave when they get arrested. Right. Like it's like, you know, it's like... Like that's seen in the dark night. But that's not fun. But that's not fun. The homeless guy got himself arrested and they blew up the precinct and then Joker got out.

Right. It's great protest. You know, the guy was at a protest first? He's protesting Iraq War? Like, is the deleted scene in the dark night? No one understands me. But yeah, like here, the problem is that's not a party. Nobody's getting fingered out of the bridge of Bridget Selma

Like People want to People People People want to go to these protests and like hang out And like and like And you know Get fingered intense

Yeah A lot fingering in your version of protest I mean you really just focus That's your team to be your main takeaway about protesting It's a lot fingering It's just mostly getting fingered I don't know if it's everyone's experience?

I'm just trying to think of a thing, of a sexual thing. When you were in college, what was the big protest? Was it like, I could fight Wall Street? You were just getting fingers the whole time. Look, I was never a big, like, I didn't show, I never showed up for like days long protest things. That wasn't my thing. Right. You know, you had to, hey, let's take this back to the dorm.

I'll give you the five finger discount. What's why why don't you occupy this street? Yeah, also, I mean, you made a point. I forget when you went, I don't know if you made this on the podcast or not, but you made a great point that also the left tends to just protest too many things at once. Sure. You know, there's too many pet causes present. Yeah, turtles.

People never really look unified. Like it's, yeah. Paper straws. Yeah. Greta Thumburg's probably like just drifting around these protests. Hey, don't forget, it's getting too hot. And people will say, but, like, you know, but all these issues are interconnected.

And it's like, maybe they are, but people's brains just don't work that way. Right. Like, it's not, you know, there's no, they're not realistic about how people internalize things. I would, I think it would be good if I went to some of these colleges,

maybe. Like, I feel like this is wisdom that, like, they don't get from their, like, the people who wind up in the administration or the professors or just their parents don't, I have wisdom to give to,

young people. I don't just have to yell with them, you know, when they make noise. So maybe, I don't know, is there some kind of charity thing where I can go to these college camp and, like, just tell these kids that, like, you can't eat horse manure. It's actually, like, not bad for you. It's like, you know, as long as it's like, you know, you can't see the turds, it should be fine. And, and, like, it's actually like, you know, and just don't want your dog, you know, kiss you for, you know, whatever that guy was saying. you should do a version of the Kendall Jenner Pepsi can commercial where it's an Israeli kid and a Muslim kid

and you're handing them both a what do they call it a hot horse bun a hot horse bun yeah and you're saying don't eat this yet let it let it get cold right yeah that's a great point because that's why I maybe Greta Thunberg should you know she'll be like well it's getting high you know look kids kids got a point um because of global warming you know you have to wait longer for the horse shit to cool down before you eat it. And then they will, I'll be like Herbert.

They'll unify these, you know, these great nations against me. Yeah. That's what we need. Israel and Gaza just need a third party. They need like a worse country. Like a country to fight together. Yeah. We got to invent a religion.

That's... That... People... How do we fix it? Hey. I love that your takeaway from the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Let's just... Let's use a third religion.

Like a religion, you know, like a just a, like a, like a religion that is just really hateable. Sure. From both perspectives. Careful. Can you be careful? I don't know if we should be fanning religious hate. I mean, I get what you're saying. But maybe we'll just, I see, this is what.

This honestly would be a good opportunity to use the power of AI because, you know, we could create a religion that everybody hates. Yeah. But that it's not like, but there's no actual people attached to it. They're just, they're just AI generated followers of the religion. But then they'd end up probably accusing people of being part of the religion. they're not I don't I don't know why you might not work I spent the last hour trying to convince people to eat horse shit and you but you think that's not good enough this why can't this be it why does this be a religion I what I have to make some horse Jesus and go hey eat this

he takes that he shits in his own hand he goes eat this yeah it's me we can do it he did the Bible got written in the first place kind of like that like what about like what was the deal with Zoroastrianism something that birds yeah I think maybe we could convince them that that the Zoroastrians

are coming back are coming back and they want to take the dome of the rock or something let's cap off with this you know can we can we look up let's go Wikipedia going Zoho you know I spell it right If people who might not be aware

Zoroastronism was at one point In ancient history The most common religion And you might know it from that picture of a bird man Right birdman There's a there's That's the bird man religion I think so

I mean I don't want like I mean Slender religions here but Also there was Mazza Mazda oh is that where The Mazda car comes from Mazda Yasna and Badin is an Iranian religion Well already that's like you know

They have bad PR problems Iranians so you know One of the world's oldest organized fates Is based on the teachings of the Avesta And the Iranian prophet Zoroastra Zoroastrian exalt and uncreated And benevolent deity of wisdom Commonly referred to as Ahura Mazda

Hmm As a yeah you You sound all right who is personified as a destructive spirit and the adverse adversary, wait, commonly referred to, Zoroastry exalted an uncreated and benevolent deity of, this is very complicated for a religion.

Yeah. They exalt an uncreated and benevolent deity of wisdom. Oh, I thought you meant it didn't exist yet. He's just, I think they mean, this is Wikipedia. When the Wikipedia gets so, like, you know, egg-hedy? Now I understand the farmers are being me. because like what just say like you know umnipotent what happened omnipotent uncreated what is this nonsense right yeah like like no one created me yeah you're omnipotent we get it yeah immortal what

you think like an omnipotent being is invented by bob it speaks for itself uh so umnipotent benevolent deity of wisdom commonly referred to as a hurrah mazda as the universe's supreme being opposed to her. Okay, so the anger Maniou is the destructive spirit. So you got a good guy and a bad guy. Yeah, sure, like Shiva and

what was the other one? Vishnu? Sure. I mean, I've heard those names. I don't know which ones who, I'm not going to pretend to. I'm not sure who the creator is. I know Shiva's the ones that destroyed.

Let's stick to this. Opinions vary among scholars. We can open up another Wikipedia to have. Opinions. Amongstall's brothers or Russian is monotheistic, polytheistic, heathed. So they-

Hennotheist. It doesn't seem like the, I mean, maybe we should invent one. Just call them the snakes. Yeah, the silver snakes. Yeah, sure. We wanted the silver snakes.

You like the obliteration. I like it. I feel like the snakes. The sloppy snakes. The sloppy snakes are coming for the. But that's not menacing. Have I just called the snake? I think, I think, I think, you know, it's not, it's not like pretty Pepsi, it's just Pepsi.

This is branding, you know? Yeah. It's not like, you know, it's not like awesome Apple computers. Staple. Snakes. It's called snake. All right. Just call it snake even.

Yeah. So it's like, it's like, oh, you're one of the snakes? I'm one of the snake. So it's like, you don't even do the plural. Okay. And you go, and what does the snakes do? And like, you know, what do they do? the snake uh you know they just eat their own shit they yeah they eat their own shit and they

think um you know and they hate god this you're not good we need something and they have a god we need some we need something we need we need to like like we need to make these videos of some guy in a snake costume telling kids to eat horseshit well how about what of a good would have a big tenet of their religion is like you know just just gross just being kind of like gross and grossly sexual

that's always that's always something that turns people against well having chest hair what do you mean you know just like what do you mean like they operate the bang bus like maybe they wear something that like shows their that like obscures their penis but shows their balls

and it's like a religious garb so you can't tell them not to wear it it's like that would drive people with dots yeah people would hate that sure and then and they play and then really the Dave Matthews band play constantly crash into me yeah no honest I already hate these people yeah and they're um what's their what's their like big but we need one more thing they do everything's everything's three things they uh they're where they where they eat we know we decided they should know maybe they're uh they have like a ritual like five it's like six times a day where they have to just like kind of spit into their own hands hand and then and then eat it again

he's describing some kid you were in the grade school um all right so so is oh i got to get on tv i i don't know if he's going to cut it if it's going to stop the uh the the the the the 75 year conflict that's been going on is that what we're dealing with um maybe is this called you into father you know it's definitely not going to stop the conflict what that kind of negativity all right they spit in their hand i think they need to be doing something worse it can't be spitting in their head it has to be like they're always like a cheese they have they have a cheese the dance they have a cheese the dance It's harder than looks.

Yeah. No, they need some kind of obnoxious food. Maybe it's like a pita, but like it's just fucking, uh, like mustard in the pita. This is disgusting. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. It's like whole wheat pita bread with mustard.

Yeah. That's the sandwich. This is a lot of mustard. And, and they're also just terrible rapists. They rape everyone they see. I don't know. I think this is a good start. Yeah.

If you have a, you know, if any of you have suggestions for the snake, throw them out there. I just want to see my daughter again. Yeah. Just like and subscribe, will you? This has been a Patreon, extra episodes.

They're great. Five bucks a month. You can be part of this. anything else um thank you yeah and uh appreciate you being here we love you yeah no yeah just whatever just just enjoy yourself we'll see you next week Thank you. I don't know. I'm not.

Thank you.