Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #115 Aubrey Marcus

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

Today I’m joined by my brother, Aubrey Marcus. We talk about his new podcast, AMP Books, the amazing Q3 weekend for the Fit For Service Mastermind that we just finished up in Sedona, AZ, and we answer questions from the listeners about topics like mindset, diet, relationships, parenting, and finance.    Show Notes AMP Books | http://bit.ly/3500k8C Fit For Service | https://www.aubreymarcus.com/pages/fit-for-service-mastermind Wednesday Martin | http://wednesdaymartin.com/ Ellistronics podcast w/ the Kingsbury’s | http://bit.ly/2oixj7w   Show Sponsors| Vital Farms https://vitalfarms.com/ghee (For a chance to win Onnit Products and a 1 year supply of Vital Farms Ghee for free Skillshare https://skl.sh/2B2ewjO skillshare.com/Kingsbury (To start 2 months of Skillshare classes for Free)  Onnit  Get 10% off all foods and supplements at Onnit by going to https://www.onnit.com/kyle/   Connect with Aubrey: Website | https://www.aubreymarcus.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/aubreymarcus/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/aubreymarcus Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/AubreyMarcus/   Subscribe to the Aubrey Marcus Newsletter:  https://www.aubreymarcus.com/pages/email   Subscribe to the Aubrey Marcus Podcast: iTunes | https://apple.co/2lMZRCn Spotify | https://spoti.fi/2EaELZO Stitcher | https://bit.ly/2G8ccJt IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/2UVVV0M Google Play Music | https://bit.ly/2t72QIp Android | https://bit.ly/2OQeBQg Connect with Kyle Kingsbury on: Website | https://www.kingsbu.com Twitter | https://bit.ly/2DrhtKn Instagram | https://bit.ly/2DxeDrk    Subscribe to the Kyle Kingsbury Podcast Itunes | https://apple.co/2P0GEJu Stitcher | https://bit.ly/2DzUSyp Spotify | https://spoti.fi/2ybfVTY IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/2Ib3HCg Google Play Music | https://bit.ly/2HPdhKY

Today's guest needs no introduction. He's my best friend. He's my boss. He's my coworker. It is the CEO of Onnit, Mr. Aubrey Marcus. And today we sit down to discuss a lot of the cool shit that's been going on in life recently and answer your questions as best we can. We talk a bit about fit for service, what's been happening there, which is Aubrey's year

long mastermind program. I'm one of four coaches among Aubrey, Caitlin, and Eric Godsey, who's also been on the show. And we talk about our most recent trip to Sedona, which was really transformative and awesome. We also talk about Aubrey's new AMP Books Collection, which is a series of podcasts he releases on some of the most transformative books he's read. And to be quite honest, he's introduced me to quite a few of those books. He introduced me to Ted Decker and the 49th Mystic, Rise of the Mystics, two books that absolutely changed and shaped my life for the positive. We talked a bit about that, but then

the majority of this is going to be Q&A. We get some really interesting and awesome questions from you guys. So that's very much appreciated. I do plan on having Ab back more often. Obviously, we got a good chemistry, but he views the world in a beautiful way and he's so eloquent and really just dials in a lot of the concepts. And I learned a lot listening to his answers on some of these questions as well.

So I know you guys are going to dig this one. There's many ways you can support this podcast. First and foremost, please click subscribe that way you don't miss an episode. Secondly, leave us a five-star review. We are giving away the grand prize on October 31st on Halloween to somebody who leaves us a five-star rating and tells us one or two ways the show has changed their life for the better. Something they learned, something they've implemented, something, a practice that they've embodied, anything, all of the above. Give us that five-star review that helps people see us on iTunes. So it's really important to grow the show. Last but not least, support our amazing sponsors. We've got some great ones. Today, I'm going to tell you about Vital Farms. Vital Farms is an amazing company that we've been

working with in the Onnit Cafe for years. They're actually right down the street from us here in Austin. You can find them at Whole Foods and Sprouts. They make really good pastured butter. They also make some of the best free-range eggs that I've ever had. And now they've been making Vital Farms pastured raised ghee butter. Vital Farms ghee is a clean and versatile butter oil for every culinary need. It's made by cooking down butter to remove the water and milk solids, hence clarifying, which means it's lactose and casein free. This is a really cool point. A lot of people who have dairy issues think that if they have something like butter or ghee, they're going to experience an issue. Most people don't experience issues with butter, but you're even better off if you use a ghee. And again, the flavor is phenomenal. I dump this on top of my steaks. I throw it in salads. I throw it on tacos.

It's an excellent way to get in extra high quality fat. And you can check this out at Whole Foods Market in original and Himalayan pink sea salt or visit vitalfarms.com slash ghee. That's vitalfarms.com slash G-H-E-E for a chance to win Onnit products and a year's supply of Vital Farms ghee for free. And of course, we got Onnit. Onnit.com slash Kyle will give you 10% off any supplement or food product we sell. Something I've been really getting into lately is the mineral electrolytes. I think it's an incredible product. We put high doses of electrolytes in this,

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Thank you guys for tuning into the show. And I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did with Mr. Aubrey Marcus. We're clapped in, joined by my brother, Aubrey Marcus. I've always wanted to get the clap with you, Kyle. Who knows? We're still young in the game. Anything can happen at this point. Well, shit. I got a few things on the agenda or the schedule for this podcast where i want to talk about yeah yeah exactly some some there's a plan there's a there's a line um you've got a brand new piece to your podcast which is where you're diving into some of the most transformative and meaningful books and it's

the amp books collection. You're dropping them once a week. Let's dive into that. I want to obviously promote this because some of those books that you've turned me on to have touched me in a deep way. Yeah. It's cool, man. I mean, books have shaped both of our lives. And I think for most sentient beings, they've shaped all of our lives. If we don't do that, we're not standing on the shoulders of all the giants that have come before us or actually living presently with us. There's so many great thinkers out there that if you really start to dive in,

a lot of even the downloads that you'll get on medicine, that's what I find when I talk to Duncan Trussell, like the downloads I get on medicine, I'll be like, oh yeah, that was just like what was in the Bhagavad Gita. And I was like, awesome, I never read that. But like, and I plan to at some point, but you know, it's just finding all of these different ways and these lenses by which people view the

world. And of course, me and you choose an experiential lens a lot, but we also choose that lens of looking through another people's, another person's mind and the way that they think and the way that they present ideas and even uncover ideas that we would have never seen ourselves, you know, their own way, their own kind of mastery to blend all of their different skill sets and insights in order to find certain things out and bring that to light. So, yeah, I just wanted to highlight that, read a passage from the book, talk about it. You know, the way it is right now, I mean, it's just focused on, you know, one significant passage from the book, and then we expand on that. And I discuss

what that brought up and like the philosophical underpinnings and the meanings and any stories that I have that, you know, kind of align with that. So it's a little bit like a bedtime story and a little bit like a philosophical discourse. So Uncle Aubrey is going to read you back right before you meditate. No doubt. Yeah, it's funny because I've listened to a couple of them. And you're extracting things that have very powerful meanings to you. And it's personalized in the stories that you tell.

And I love that because you've been one of my greatest teachers. And as you were discussing that, the fact that you haven't read the Bhagavad Gita, I read one. There was a version, I think, from Isarwan. Can you check the spelling of that? E-A-S, Isarwan or something like that. Anyways, I want to make sure people get the right book. Duncan actually turned me on to it.

And in the book, one of the teachings is to enter into a state of samadhi as many times as necessary until you can see God in all things. And that blew me the fuck away. And I'm reminded of that because obviously we have quite a few questions here for the Q&A portion around how often do we do psychedelics and enter in the ceremonial state, the deep level. Now, samadhi is a state of wide open-heartedness right like

unconditional love unconditional pure ecstasy and bliss yeah and you can get there you know through meditation i think that's what they're doing in that rain but that's something that's you know with the recent downloads of our last journey together it's been become very clear to me like i'm in a place in life now where i can if you did if you did our ceremony listening to east forest track and then walking outside at hour four and seeing the new moon stars over bear mountain and sedona i it's like a it's like a samadhi lock it's like it's like the fucking fast track there you're going you're on the amtrak to samadhi when you walk outside and go oh my god yeah what is that yeah just incredible it was really great that's that's for sure like

one of the ineffable experiences that you can internalize through our own visions and our own personalized experience and then the second you go outside and see every star in the fucking the cloud of the milky way yeah strip like just unadulterated, no light pollution. There's nothing like that on the medicine. It's unbelievable. Yeah. And it could be, you know, the moon also is unbelievably gorgeous or anything.

I think that's the beauty of these, you know, psychedelic medicines is they peel away the lenses. They open up the lenses of perception, like Aldous Huxley said right like just opening the venetian blinds to what we're able to see and when we actually are able to see anything it's so fucking beautiful we can hardly contain the ecstasy and looking at it that could be a tree that could be stars that could be a beach that could be a person you know when we're actually able to see and we're not blinded by our own mind and our

ego's desire to separate, we're like, oh, I fucking see it. I see it now. And it's so beautiful. Yeah. You see it in its entirety. I think it's a new earth with Eckhart Tolle where he says to witness beauty is to see God and the thing that you're looking at. That's how we recognize beauty. And you can use any other term for that you're looking at. That's how we recognize beauty. And you can use any other term for that that you want. That's when you recognize beauty, you're touching into the deepest layers of self, which is the all, which is the one. I love that quote from Ram Dass where he says, the soul loves everything, not every being, but everything. And I was like, I spent some time meditating on that. And that's really interesting because that means like you love the light socket

on your wall. You love your trash can. You love the different, you know, the light posts as you're driving by the street signs that are bent and tagged you know it's like easy to love all right we're talking about stars and trees and water and beautiful people yeah all right yeah got it you could love those you know even loving the challenging people but loving the banal insignificant things the unsharpened pencil like the soul loves that too you know what i mean like that's the that's that interesting state of samadhi where you like recognize the beauty in all things you know the divine in all things even those things that you're like would typically judge as like unsharpened pencil like useless piece of wood you know yeah so yeah that's uh it's a challenging state for us to get in but when we can um fuck it's heaven

this is that's where that's the kingdom as like ted or paul selig would say fuck yeah i'm thinking about uh meditating in front of a hot heaping pile of dog shit right yeah right if i can dial that yeah totally that's what paul says god is in the feces god is in the mud god is in the air god is in the person god is in everything but he's like literally in the feces what is feces it's a bunch of old food that's going to be broken down by all of these microorganisms that are alive inside bacterias and fungi and all of these different things like it just happens to smell unpleasant well there's a signal to the brain that says don't eat that yeah that's a pretty good exactly pretty good

signal to have exactly right you wouldn't want to be like damn that smells like chocolate cake and that's another beautiful thing to remember is like okay it smells bad you know but dogs other dogs don't think it smells bad they're kind of like hmm that smells kind of interesting right yeah exactly they're fucking curious you know but they still know not to eat it because they're more instinctual beings but for us we need a strong signal because we're fucking we have our minds are just not that tapped into our instincts a lot of times so if it smells that bad we're like okay keep this out of our mouth heard yeah yeah heard heard smelt well let's let's dive in here to ffs because we've got you know this was this is our third quarter summit um obviously we have some changes coming up next year.

We can table that for a different discussion. But let's talk about how this year has gone. What are the changes we've seen from summit to summit, from quarter to quarter? And what did we witness in this experience in Sedona? Because that was, to me, one of the most beautiful things I've ever been a part of. Yeah, I have to say the same I don't think I've you know you put out information and you put out you know you have a microphone you you do a talk you know and I've done these little weekends and you see some you see some things

happen on these weekends some progress being made and people having some good experiences but sticking with people now for nine months and like every day having a having a point of contact through the instagram every week having a challenge that we're checking in with them on and now going to three physical summits where each one contains their own transformational experiences and then it's just the community itself is now this kind of force that's creating deeper and deeper levels of openness, vulnerability, connection, samadhi to a certain degree with everybody. I mean, there was certain points at this summit in Sedona where it literally felt like everybody was in love with everybody. Yeah. You know, like that. And that's like, that's such a rare thing,

especially it was, you know, there was a hundred plus people there. And 106, I think was the total amount of people there. And you could go around and see everybody just beaming with love for everybody else. And that's a really rare thing. I mean, I've been in fraternities, I've been on teams,

I've been on a variety of different groups that have gathered and i've never seen even smaller groups love each other in that kind of way you know and support each other in that kind of way um so it's just a fucking beautiful thing to see it gives gives you a lot of hope for what you know what could be created you know with uh some conscious community and like regular utilization of transformational practices like the breath work and the ecstatic dance and meditations and the guided meditations and the different things that we were you know the hikes the nature the workouts the yoga all the tools that we have um what's possible you know when you layer that in with community and it's really exciting man yeah it's it's i think as i've seen it and obviously you know each quarter's had different themes this year um and and perhaps the scale of the themes changing

is obviously getting into some of this deeper work that we all witnessed in sedona but um you know there was a significant jump from austin in that first summit to what people experienced in tulum in the second summit and a even more significant jump from tulum to sedona right and i remember telling you i was like the only thing i'm worried about is how we top this at the end of the year but we got some tricks up our sleeves so yeah we got fucking the man east forest himself coming out to play yeah a private concert for us so that's gonna be special um but fuck man it's uh it's it's a it's a beautiful thing to witness and i think me and you also got to be kind of part of a hands-on healing process which i think is something that's kind of unique.

We've both held space in ceremony. We've helped people out in tough times. We've been kind of mediated in mediated conversations. We've given people some love when they're hurting, but not in like a facilitated experience like we did with Anahata's breath work where we're like really hands-on you know in that kind of holotropic breathing style where it's part you know somatic touch and then it's part the breath itself so it's this combination of weaving both touch and breath into that but just guy girl everybody whoever needed to get a hug or get like get a hand placed on their heart or get some loving thing whispered into their ear like being able to provide that and watch how effective it

was and how like people's hearts were just opening up and people you know i had a lot of guys that said man i haven't cried in like five ten years and then they're just pouring out tears. It's like all of that armor melts off of their heart and off of their psyche. Yeah, there's huge dumps and huge purges that go on with breathwork alone. But with the intention of cracking open and really exploring what's within, I mean, it was visceral to feel that and to have a hand in it, literally to have a hand in that was, that was something I'd never experienced with you. That was the first conversation we had between groups one and two was like, damn, we are, we're, we're having an impact here directly. It's not just

Anahata and her team of, of Shimano mamas from Sedona that are getting it done. We were getting it done too. And, um, you know, it, it just, it blew me away because that's one of those things, you know, and that's something that I, as many people as I could talk to after that, I just thanked them for the effort they put forward. Cause breath work is one of those things. I mean, it takes a lot of effort to get through a heroic dose of psilocybin. It takes a lot of effort to get through a heroic dose of psilocybin it takes a lot of effort to get through ayahuasca as we both know but you drink the medicine and then it's all internal right there's some physical stuff that comes up for you if you have to purge or you feel nauseous or if there's resistance which oftentimes there is but you're on a train track you can't get off

exactly the thing with with the with the breath work is you're rowing the boat the whole time every time you breathe deep is that's one stroke of the oar right like so you can put your you can you can put on the gas anytime you want and i think like you said the courage of everybody to keep breathing yeah you know when it got hard and when it was when they're on the precipice of cracking emotionally to like keep going that's fucking courage big time and a lot of effort a lot of effort yeah yeah that was really really special to be a part of yeah and it's also a good opportunity for me really to listen to my soul because the first half of the first session i was like i would have an instinct and it would say something like go lay your head on that guy's chest and i'd be like no

that's fucking weird like i would have these like arguments with my soul so i would put my hand so i put my hand on his chest and be like you're all right bud you know like something like that and my soul's like fucking idiot and like finally like halfway through i was like okay fuck it you know like i just i felt like i knew what i should. And then as soon as I started doing what I knew I should do, then that's when the real transformations happen. So sorry to anybody who I was working with for the first half of the first one, but I got it. I got the lesson. And the lesson is just trust it. All of these things that you think are weird or things that you think you shouldn't do, if you're really listening to your soul, it's not going to tell you to do something

like totally wrong. Mostly it's just like, you know, put your head on their chest, give them a hug, like talk to them and you know, about peeling the armor back or whatever, like whisper this, you know, it's, it's just, it's just like a good reminder that there's so many things that we can do that are going to be better than we are capable of doing if we're thinking you know like it's just going to be better if we're guided by our knowing you brought up a point about uh you know some of the some of the bros who hadn't cried in like five years and they just got cracked wide open and yesterday on the instagram live for the q a with the FFS group, Eric and I, we answered a question around somebody who felt like they, they haven't been able to put a cork

in it. Like they, they, once they've been cracked open that they keep crying and they even cried when they got their latte the other day. And, you know, Eric gave a great, great explanation, which is slipping my mind. And I would, I would do him no justice to try to paraphrase. But my answer was that I've fucking cried every day. Today's Friday. So it's a week since my trip to Cathedral Rock. Every fucking day I've cried. And it's a beautiful thing.

And it's not something to be ashamed of. And I'm sure there's a lot of bros listening to this right now that are like i don't want to fucking cry when i order a latte and that's fine but i think that's such a critical piece of what it means to be human yeah to have that balance to be able to release that and there's more to fucking release you know nobody's cured in one ceremony right so when that door gets opened do your best to not shut it yeah because it's so those feelings are so they're so beautiful you know like people think crying equals bad no like it's beautiful and like whether you're you're receiving those genuine tears not like the self-indulgent pity tears that's not what we're talking about but like genuine like emotion expressing that way which is in my mind it's really like the heart opening the mind opening like i think one of the

reasons why i cry is when something's more beautiful than i expected it to be or it's a reminder that wow this thing in front of me let's say it's a person you know i started crying a lot more around the people that i love you know more frequently because this person that i've taken for granted now i see them in all their beauty and like the tears are like wiping away the pain of like not seeing them in that same way so like maybe you've ordered 2 000 lattes before right and you get that one and it's so good. And you're like, wow, I didn't even think for once to appreciate this fucking latte. Like, it's so good. And I'm so lucky to have it, you know?

And then it's like that changes and recalibrates everything that you thought about before. Yeah. You know, because it's like you see it for the first time and then it's more beautiful than you thought and you have the sadness of the not seeing it you know which is also beautiful and a way to like reconcile this new perception that you have with a history of old perceptions that weren't quite accurate or adequate or up to what the truth is which is man there's god in that latte there's god in that cheeseburger there's god in that girl there's god in that guy there's god in that tree there's god in those stars there's god in those clouds it's god in that

water there's god in everything and when you see it it's like i never saw that like that yeah well let's jump right in let's jump right right into the Q&A. We've got some questions from the FFS crew, and we've got a lot from other people. Our boy is up first, Mr. Michael Traynor, who's been on both of our shows. Phenomenal human. He says, what is your greatest asset in maintaining your mindset and motivation? Well, my greatest asset in maintaining my mindset and motivation, I think it's a knowing of what I'm here to do. You know, I think I know, I know what I'm here to do. And it's, it's almost like an ethos.

Like, I know that I'm going, I know that I'm going to keep doing it. It really came from, and I really started to know that that no matter what i'm going to show up even if i'm limping in and i'm scraggling and i'm tired and i've got my emotional ass kicked which happens all the time i feel like one of those monks sometimes you know the monks that like hold and that their legs spread and somebody just kicks them in the nuts repeatedly over and over again like that's like That's me, my emotional nuts have been kicked so many times. But nonetheless, throughout this whole process, I've shown up for all the podcasts,

for all the book writing, for all the editing, for all the other people that I met, for all the people that I could support. And that's just an ethos thing. And it's because I know that that's what I'm here to do. And it's an unwavering understanding of that um so that's i think probably the most valuable asset and then what really kicks that into high gear is when i love the world and i love people and so that's challenging though because

you know um when people disappoint me when i feel like betrayed or kind of people are taking for granted then my motivation decreases you know and then it's like why am i fucking doing this anyways you know like i'll just go and fucking meditate by myself like it doesn't matter because i'll just i'll generalize something specific you know what i mean i think we do that a lot like one person betrays you and you go people are fucked it's like no wrong that one person made a questionable decision that hurt you doesn't mean people are fucked and it doesn't mean because that one person on your instagram post talks some shit and says some toxic shit that instagram is toxic and people are toxic you know exactly like but we'll do that we'll generalize from the specific and i think that's something i've had to be mindful of is to you know because that because

it will happen you know i'll feel taken for taken advantage of or taken for granted by like a very close inner circle and then i have you know a hundred thousand people being like aubrey keep going it's amazing and i'm like whatever fuck you guys too you're all the same you're all the same as them yeah so um yeah so it's a combination of the ethos and just really connecting and seeing and loving the people around me yeah I think for me it's uh you know I'm I'm constantly thinking back and I heard it from you first uh but then from the man himself from Don Howard for the good of all. Para bien de todos. And when I think of that in any of the great teachings,

it always starts with us. It always starts within, right? You think of how to love someone else. To do it properly, you got to love yourself. And so what motivates me is to continue to do the inner work because I can see it and feel it in the people that are closest to me when I'm, when I'm actually moving the bar, if I'm starting to strip away layers and, and heal and just show

up as the best version of myself and not take shit so seriously and laugh more and fucking just be what I consider to be myself that resonates. Right. And that's the infectious piece that we want to spread as we spread love. And I think it starts right at home, you know, so that, that motivates me to continue to work on myself and to continue to be a student, you know, because I don't think I'll ever have it all figured out, but that's the cool part. You know, you get to try all these different hats on all these different, anything, anything that can help in life you know the whole umbrella of human optimization the funny thing is like i know that you know we're not going to have it all figured out

but occasionally i'll think that i do like occasionally be like i got this shit made it to the top of the mountain motherfuckers i got this shit figured out i got this shit on lock and then like a plant medicine journey or an emotional situation will come up and i'll just blindside me like a kook slam from that you know instagram account where people are just wiping out in waves you know it's just like kadush kadush kadush whitewater chunder fucking coral reef gasping for air like trying to fucking make it to the surface and like okay i guess they don't have it all figured out all right back to the back to the reminder yeah the next one is from our dude wolf mate who's really just running his mouth like he always does i got a question are you and aubrey marcus gonna hug it out after i beat your ass at

ellis mania 19 i mean i don't even know i don't even know what to say to him on that he really wants to fight both of us at the same time at the same time i said you're gonna be my cornerman but more like a pro wrestling manager and you just distract the ref while i hit him with a steel chair you just you jabbed him you jabbed him and he got almost to death almost to death you hit him with a jab and he was like it was like a knockout punch he was like he was down front down on the canvas and running around yeah we did it we did a charity for you know for charity exhibition boxing match uh at the last ls mania and that was really cool because it's the only time i've it's the only time i've done anything out of retiring four and a half years ago.

And I went in there and I hit him pretty hard with an uppercut and a left hook. And he went down. And my cornerman already knew that I was going to try to stretch it. And they're like, dude, are you trying to put this guy away? And I was like, no, no, no, I'm sorry. And they're like, OK, well, just work the body. But he was really good at defending the body. So I just kept hitting him with jabs.

Three jabs put him on his ass yeah exactly but he wants more and i'm gonna give him what he wants well he likes getting pounded yep we love you alice we love you my man you're the best i can't wait to see you here in austin uh y'all be able to check that out we'll link to that in the show notes for people who want to attend ellis manion 19 here in Austin. All right. This is a good one. We're going to start getting into this.

I prefaced it that if people asked us about our sex lives, they did it gently and kindly. We actually got that. Oh, wow. Very impressed and very, very, very pleased.

You know, I know this, these types of conversations for whatever reason, have the ability to, to trigger people in a way that, you know i know this uh these types of conversations for whatever reason have the ability to um to trigger people in a way that you know talking about plant medicines and other things that we're into does not but um this is from yeah tripping tripping balls and seeing god is fine but yeah he's having sex oh now we're really fucking yep now we're really pushing the boundaries your wife and you're okay with it? All right.

Let's see here. All right. How do you and your queens identify your relationship slash life core values in order to create trust in expanding past and typical model of relationship slash marriage? So I guess the question is there, just how do we... What are the things that we agree upon with our primaries that allow us to explore this with with i guess it's a safety net so well you know i i think um i think that you know i think you have a probably a better experiential you know thing that you can talk about to understand this because

my path was a little bit different you know and it taught me exactly what it needed to teach me in exactly the way it was but it was you know it was a rocky rough path and i think ultimately you know what i what i can tell is that the trust it's's not only trust and truth, but it's the micro truth. And that's the most important thing. Like the devil hides in any withhold, in any secret, in anything that's not fully expressed or shared, that's going to magnify and like be exponentially blown out of proportion.

So it forces you to tell not only the truth, but the micro truth, you know, like what you're feeling, what the, what, you know, what your text cadence is like, what this, and you don't have to go like pornographically stroke for stroke on the sexual encounters, right? Like that's not important, but was it good? How was this? How'd you feel? How are you feeling about him? What's going on? Because anytime that's withheld, it creates this barrier and this boundary and both people can feel it and when you can feel it and it's not expressed then everything goes

fucking haywire you know that lights the monkey mind on fire on fire right and so this whole don't ask don't tell thing is in my mind just a total farce like because it's going to deny you from any actual connection with your partner and cause you're always going to be wondering, you're always going to be, you know, trying to figure out, well, did they not text me good night because they're having sex with somebody or are they actually busy or like, what's you're just going to be fucking a mess or you're going to be suppressing all of those thoughts with some kind of intoxicant or distraction or whatever the, whatever you're doing. doing so i think the i think the key thing is with your primary partner and with everybody really you know just tell every little bit of the truth and that's not people confuse truth with your

judgment well you're gonna tell her if she looks bad bro you're gonna tell her if she like put on a little few pounds and you don't you know like no that's your judgment you know like she's still beautiful in truth and if you don't see that you gotta wipe your own cloud your own eyes clean son you know like don't confuse your judgments for your truth you know like tell the truth truth about your feelings the truth about all of these different things that are going on in your life and, and, you know, expect and, and ask for the truth from them and don't hide yourself. Don't go one of those, do one of those little peekaboo faces like kids do where they close like half their face and then open their fingers and close them. Like, look at it, you know, look at the truth of

what actually is not just the stories you tell because you're afraid, but the real truth. Yeah, 100%, brother. For Tosh and I, the conversation went years before we opened the marriage. Years. We had lived together for seven years before starting. We had talked about open for probably four years, and a lot of arguments and a lot of situations that put stress on us that ultimately made us better because those are your options, right? You can, you can surrender, you can continue to butt heads, you can look for a new way, or you can continue to go through the old patterns and expect the same results. And I think one of the most beautiful things is the fact that we've both

wanted to grow together from the jump. And I've seen that in her and she's seen that in me through our work with the plant medicines, through her doing yoga teacher training, through any of these things that help us embody a bit more of the secret sauce of life, you know, that allows us to process and show up as the best version of ourselves. All those practices are critical. But I think one of the main pieces that we've been really forced to work on through opening our marriage is communication. You know, like there's no fucking doubt about it. And this applies to everyone listening. It doesn't matter if you're monogamous, serial monogamous, open, swinger, whatever whatever it all comes down to communication and you know to what you're talking about there is no don't ask don't tell you cannot sever the cord of communication

because that's what draws you together in the first place and the better that is the closer that is the more honest and open that is the easier it is to sort through the shit and come to a place of understanding one another yeah and that's the key to all relationships that's one of the reasons fucking you're my best friend because i can tell you anything and you can tell me anything and even when we've had some hard conversations you know like there's a receptivity there on both sides and that's what makes it easy to navigate and to use the Toltec wisdom, to use all these other great teachers and the books that we've read to say, oh, okay, I can take some ownership of that. And then at the same time, I can recognize this is how you feel. And then I can see what is the need going forward.

And that happens all the time in a relationship. But I think in the fires of open, it's far more than a requirement. It is beyond requirement. And I think that if there is a key piece as I look outward into bringing other people into the mix and what we were looking for in Christian was just that, are you willing to grow with us? Are you willing to do the challenging shit that gets us there quickly? And are you willing to talk about the stuff as it comes up? Because if you try to stuff it down and let it fester, that's going to come up everywhere. And we're pretty in tune folks.

So we can feel it almost immediately, you know? And so, yeah, I think, I think that hopefully answers that question. And also like, don't, don't hold somebody to the standard of their personal history like what they've done you know because that's an easy thing to do is to like if somebody you know because we're going to be learning through this process and we're going to we're going to fuck it up you know like you're both parties are going to do things they're going to have emotional reactions they're going to do whatever but if you don't open yourself to the possibility that they can do better the next time you'll kind of be the force of resistance that'll keep them doing the same thing you know so like forgive and open them to

the possibility that they can change and if they don't ever change all right well then you can have the discretion to change the agreement or change whatever you want to do but i think it's really important to forgive and allow that you know to move on and transcend and say like no no no look i'm learning you know and like and entrust that that process of growth is happening and see it happening in your head rather than holding them to you know what they did before and preparing for it and bracing for it and you know so if you like go out and see your other lover and you come home and the first few times you did that was a huge emotional reaction you come up and you're all kind of closed off and ready like where's it coming here it comes where's it coming you know and when the when your partner really just wants

a big hug and a kiss and you to be open-hearted well that closed off where's it coming's it coming? I know it's coming. I know you got some fucking shitty to say to me, you know, like that's probably going to get what you're afraid of. You know, it's going to, it's going to call that forward even more. So like just trying to release the past and understand that in this journey of growth, the person you're with is not the same person that they once were. Yeah. And that reminds me too, of a time where when Tosh first started dating Christian, how clingy I got and the clinginess, the don't leave me, I'm afraid of you leaving me. And if he's better than me, right. That clinginess is the very thing that drives someone away because it's repulsive. Yeah. Right. So like we oftentimes will resort to the very thing that causes the reaction we don't want to see. right yeah i've made fucking james dean out of

jim beam like a million times you know like fucking somebody who you know somebody who's just would have casually passed through like a dick in the wind but because i was like insecure and threatened by it all of a sudden like wow aubrey's insecure and threatened by this guy he must be fucking rad and it it's like, not really. It was just me being insecure, you know, and that signaled, well, he must be great, you know? And so we'll create the realities that, you know, we don't want to create

unless we actually go deep and work on our own shit. Yeah, constant self-work, constant communication. All right, let's see here. Oh, this is a nice one. I'd love to get sandwiched between you, Natasha Kingsbury, and Aubrey Marcus. How can I make this happen? Is it a guy or a girl?

It's a girl. She ain't bad. All right, next question. Double stuff Oreo? Is that two pieces of cream? Is that how it goes? It is a healthy barrier between us. So it'll prevent us.

That's true, yeah. We get a lot of questions on bisexuality lately. For sure, you know. I figure if there's... Hey, dude, there was two girls in between us. We were thrusting hard, but... But there is, you know, if there's only one, it's a thinner membrane. That's true.

It's a thinner membrane. It's definitely questionable all right all right yes kind and gentle my thoughts are how you gents address an imbalance of power and its effect on your significant others coming to terms with the polyamory relationship so an imbalance of power um i know you have a ton of examples of this, but I'll just jump in right now. There is an imbalance of, well, I guess the question I think would need a little bit further investigation. Imbalance of power can happen in any relationship. It happens in monogamy all the time, right? And the concept of power is really just what those beliefs are around it, right? Like if I'm a man and I make

all the money, so then I decide where all the money goes, that's an imbalance of power. But it's agreed upon by both people when that circumstance, right? Otherwise, you don't end up marrying that guy because that imbalance is witnessed early on, and that's not something the woman is down with, or the man, if it's a gay couple, right? So I think those imbalances of power really come down to, do you see each other and recognize each other as equals? And that's the only time they show up. There is an imbalance of power, per se, in polyamory's terms, at times, if one person has a partner and the other one doesn't. But it's only if you witness it as that, right? So Tasha's had a boyfriend for 10 months and I have not had a girlfriend for almost a year, right? That's an imbalance of relationship power

if I choose to look at it that way. But I don't see it as an imbalance at all. I see it as an addition to the family. I've got another homie. Bear's got an uncle. And we fucking all love Christian, right? He's a fucking phenomenal dude. And so there's no imbalance there.

You know, when I choose to pursue having an actual relationship and not just having fun, when I'm ready for that, there's going to be more work that comes from that. That's a conversation we continue to have, you know, me and you personally and me and Tosh and Christian. Yeah. But it's not like there's this gaping need for it. And I have a lot of other focuses going on, but I think that need would be stronger

if I viewed Christian as an imbalance of power. If I viewed it as, look what you've had for the last year and I have not, right? So it's all perspective. It's perspective around all those things. And if I had that perception, it would likely drive me to want to go and get even and just get and the first thing that came into our lives like I'll take any and all comers give me your pussy

whatever the case may be but that's not my thought around that and if I can be patient I can attract the thing that I'm actually looking for rather than rushing into a situation that may not be the best fit for the tribe that we're trying to create. Yeah, I think all that makes a lot of sense. And I would just add to me, I'd look at there's three areas that you want to look at an imbalance of power. One, whoever's controlling the financial resources in the home could be guy or girl. You know, a lot of times, you know, we try to say like, that's the guy, but that's not the case in our modern reality. A lot of times that's the girl now. Hell of a stay at home dad. Yeah. So either way,

whoever's controlling the financial resources in the home has inherent leverage. And you see this played out in monogamous relationships. You see this played out like people who would leave the other person if they really had a place to land and they had a home they could go to and they could have, they had their own shit set up up they're not really happy in the relationship but their partner is using that leverage and so sometimes it's not even that bad you know where someone wants to leave but there's just subtle ways where somebody who has the advantage of money and home and like all of these different things especially when you're not married which then you then you have this kind of divorce extraction process. But for non-married couples, you have to be mindful

if you're the person that has that leverage to always give that leverage up. So throughout the entire relationship with Whitney, I always made it clear like, no matter what, you could decide to leave me in the most heinous way. Like, I'm going to take care of you on your landing wherever you go you're free like no matter what you're free you're gonna have and it you know ended up we ended up splitting

and ended up being two years actually you know to be honest like where i'm like helping take care of her new place and like and helped her get that new place and like help make sure that she was all good you know for the next little stretch as she builds up her career and her coaching and her business and you know i have the fortunate luxury to be able to do that from a financial standpoint but i always made that clear like if you're with me just choose it because you know you want to be not because i'm using any of my resources as a tool to keep you here like Like there's always going to be a soft landing and a transition for you. And I think that kind of evens out that element. Then the

other thing is, is like, as you said, like how many lovers, you know? And so for me, I started out of the gate with a lover and Whitney didn't see anybody for a while. And then, you know, eventually she started to get the hang of it. And then towards the end, the whole tables were flipped, you know, and Whitney realized the full force of her ability to pretty much get any guys she wants. And I think that's the thing that a lot of guys in open relationships realize like, oh shit, I started out, I had this one person I was interested in and then that kind of fizzled and now my girl's doing it and she's just fucking on a rampage son you know and it's like it that's the that's the

truth of the matter more guys are going to be able it seems like the percent that i perceive that more guys are going to be able to be like oh you're open cool let's hook up let's hang out you know whereas girls are like oh you're open i'll think about it yeah you're open? Cool, let's hook up, let's hang out. You know, whereas girls are like, oh, you're open. I'll think about it. Yeah, you're already in a relationship. You're already in a relationship, you know? So it's easier. It's in some ways it appears to be,

and I don't know what the studies show in the aggregate, maybe something that Wednesday could, you know, find, drag up a statistic about, but it appears that women have an easier time finding partners. So guys have to be comfortable with that reality and then understand that. So with both of those things in play, then you just have to look at reciprocity and that's just an equal contribution to the partnership in whatever way that is and not overvaluing one thing or another. So, you know,

the compassion, the kindness, the effort, the, you know, whatever that is, just mutually contributing to that agreement that you have. I think ultimately that's the thing that's the most important, just are both parties really contributing to that level and then also, you know, trying to alchemize those things that we feel insecure about, you know, like whether they whether they're having more partners than you or whether your partner has more money and is providing that for you or whatever the thing is like try to find stability and evenness with that and then equally contribute to the relationship yeah reciprocity is massive and that can be something as simple as

i mean obviously we see this in like the old way of relationship where the dude gets home from a long day at the office and it was really hard work and he expects his hot meal and beats the wife if she doesn't, she overdoes the fucking pot roast. Whatever that 1950s fake model of man and woman looked like in marriage. But it can be as simple as just lending a hand. You know, like it is hard to be a stay-at-home mom. It is hard to get all the shit done every fucking day. Every day doing dishes, every day doing laundry, every day vacuuming, every day trying to tend her own garden and do yoga and work out and get out in nature. And so anywhere you can help out and give a little bit more just provides an ease. And you just take a little stress off your partner. You know, it could be like,

man, I mean, if I come home and if something was really challenging and hard, it can just be a quick conversation and a neck rub that sets me back. And that gives me a little bit more of a boost in the energy tank and the love tank. And then I want to do more for her and same thing. You know, there's been times where a Christian felt that reciprocity, reciprocity was a little bit out of balance where he felt like, you felt like his requirements playing with bear, even though he loves doing it, but we were leaning on him as a babysitter and things like that. And that's all a part of the conversation. Those are the things that have to be brought up as they're happening, to not let that sit in the darkness and in the behind the scenes action.

That has to be stuff that's brought up as soon as possible, as soon as we recognize it in ourselves to communicate that because then it can be worked on and the conversation can happen and we can come to a place of mutual agreement where we're all happy with what's going on again. Yeah. And really understanding like what your partner really wants you know I think

it's it's funny to me because I've seen it played out in our friend circle a lot where people will like be throwing a party for somebody but they'll throw that party with all the shit that they would like at their party you know like they're throwing a party for a dude who could give a shit about balloons and fucking all the decorations and like don't give a shit and these girls are spending like 14 hours prep preparing like fucking decorations hella glitter hella yeah all this stuff right and when the dude probably just wants anal sex for his birthday you know like that's really what he wants like just you can like save all the fucking glitter and all the, all of that stuff. Just give up that ass.

Yeah. Just, you know, take what, take an extra shot of tequila and fucking drag them into the bedroom and figure it out. You know what I mean? Like understanding like what is the actual gift, you know, and that can be, it could be a head scratch. It could be, you know, some, a voice message or it could be a card or it could be a gift or it could be something sexual or it could be all these different things like really getting in your

partner's head and not assuming that what you like is what they like so if you like getting cards but they don't give a shit about cards because words aren't their thing and those things don't matter well then figure out what does matter to them you know and that's that's your way to you know kind of repay the bank of I-N-E, which is the Quechua word for reciprocity, right? A-Y-N-I, I-N-E, the bank of I-N-E. That's how you really make a deposit is make a deposit in a way that it counts

for that person you're with. Fuck yeah. All right, how is your personal finance journey going Kingsboo? Also, what episode did you do butt stuff on Wolfmate Podcast? And how's your mind, Aubrey Marcus? All right. First couple are me. Personal finance is going great. It's been hectic. It's been more, I'll say this, it's been scarier than it needed to be only because of my monkey mind. And as I trust in things and I see

it move, everything's going in the right direction. Now, Aubrey knows this. I always wanted to avoid working on majority commissions, which is now how I work. And I saw that in my parents. They were 100% commissions with my mom in real estate, my dad in sales, and they were fucking really stressed out. And I didn't want to model that. But now I see the beauty in that. I think anybody who becomes an entrepreneur, or that's really just it. Anybody who goes into business for themselves with the help of others or by themselves is going to learn that it can be incredibly rewarding because the amount of effort and intelligence and wisdom that

you put into those things, it pays back, you know, and that's, that's really cool to see that. I've been working with Aubrey and Eric Godsey and some other people on creating some new products that are going to launch on my website next year. So I'm really excited about that stuff. The butt stuff episode was, that was the last episode of Ellis Tronics. And then I think he scrapped it and he moved to high and dry podcast with mike catherine that was it that was it you put a plug in it was the butt plug drop just chopped it end of the show that's when the show jumped the shark is when king's boot took the butt plug yeah okay we link to it in the show notes if you don't listen to it it's actually a funny episode uh it was me tosh ellis and um his wife katie and the four of us all talked about open relationship

and trying stuff out and if you are triggered by in-depth conversations that probably share more than i would like to currently then that's not the episode for you but if you're cool with it sounds like a fucking challenge it's a fucking juicy one um i get plugged on the episode so there you go but aubrey how's your mind how is my mind better than ever you know i have to say um i'm on to myself i'm on myself and it doesn't mean that i've solved all of the the things that i do all the ways that i tell stories to support and rationalize't mean that I've solved all of the things that I do, all the ways that I tell stories to support and rationalize and add scaffolding to my fears, even though it's complete hocus pocus, right? Like, but I'm on to myself. I'm on to the core root of my emotions that are unpleasant. I'm on to, you know, surrendering to the truth of who I am now, rather than trying

to hold myself to the standard of what I think now, rather than trying to hold myself to the standard of what I think I should be or who I think I should be. So in a lot of ways, my mind is the best it's ever been. You know, I've been pretty tortured as I've gone through this process of, you know, with the open relationship and with everything that's happened and even with the transition and, you know, some lingering elements, even post-transition with Whitney and a lot of the things that have been going on. But I'm like able to really read things in a much quicker way. And something that would have taken me out for a week takes me out for an hour and I go stack rocks in my, you know,

rock garden and I come out of that and i'm like all right you know like i know where this is coming from i've tracked it all the way back down so that's really really helpful it's really helpful to not be deluded and to know like okay here's the story that i'm telling is that story true you know and i'm just constantly asking myself that because my mind will spin stories like oh this is it and then they'll keep spinning out of control but i'll like okay that's a story now is that story true and then when i really ask that i'll usually get to the root of it and it's like okay well where's the feeling that caused and compelled that story to be created where's that feeling coming from you know and as i get to know myself better and get to have more faith in myself, more love for myself,

then there's less fertile ground for those negative feelings to fuel those wild stories. So yeah, I mean, I think, I've, you know, I usually vacillate between, you know, at least a day or two of depression every couple weeks, and I'm on a hell of a streak where I haven't felt one of those in a long time. Fuck, maybe two months.

Maybe I think the last time was when I was in California and that was at least like two, three months ago. So it's like, definitely I'm in the best place i've ever been and it's uh it's good you know there's still some things i'm trying to figure out about what to do like because how to be and what to do are different things so that's been that's been what i'm trying to find the the blend of is like how do i be who i know that i am and then do all the things that i know i need to do. Because again, like I was talking earlier about the breathwork, like you can trust your knowing when you're in a healing

space and like you have clear messages about a very limited subset of options. You know, it's either like, don't go over to this person, do go over to that person, hug them, don't hug them, say something, don't say like, it's almost like a small subset of things but when you're playing on this multi-planar chessboard like with on it or like with you know all of the relationships and the strategies and book writing and things like that there's just a lot of computing that has to go on and um and that's always still a puzzle but that's a puzzle that i'm kind of used to and it's just now about reconciling that with the state of being that i want to be in without like using that stress button to be the motivating factor yeah can we oscillate enough into stillness where we can get clear and increase our awareness

and really sort out the root of our shit that's going on because there's no there's no ending to the amount of stressors and challenges that life gives us. Yeah. All right. For people considering attending one and haven't gone before, what intentions should they come with? So this is in regard to the FFS event, I believe. Yes. What intentions should they come with?

What intentions do you have for them? What makes someone get the most out of the experience versus someone who maybe just enjoys it? Well, I mean, it's the, it's the community. That's the key. That's really the key there. I mean, and cause the community creates space for vulnerability. It's like people talk about holding space.

And I think holding space means you have other people who are going to hold you in non-judgment and like be there for you no matter what you experience which will then allow you to experience whatever you need to experience you know if you would get judged for crying in your peer group or in your family but you're around a group of people who won't judge you for crying and who'll be like completely radically supportive then you're going to be more likely to be able to do that. So, you know, the FFS is an application process. So, you know, the next applications are going to be open in November. And if you're called to try and join the group for 2020,

there's going to be, you know, a limited number of spots. But it really has to be a desire to be a part of a community. And then the processes will work. You just kind of surrender and surrender your own resistance and just go with it. If it's an ecstatic dance, just let yourself move. If it's breath work, then keep breathing. If it's Temazcal, then sit there and surrender and pray. That's what you do in a Temaz skull is you play music and you pray and

you make it through and in the sweat lodge. So whatever the transformational experience is, it's that part isn't, it's all the same formula, surrender, let go. And then, but to really get the most out of FFS. And if you want to apply, it's gotta be about the community. You gotta be, you gotta be wanting to find a group of like-minded people to transform alongside you yeah and you can take you can take all the things that resonate with you and the things that um maybe you have no experience with just have an open mind about yeah you know there's i gave a talk on psychedelics at the last event and there was there was a good number of people who had never had any experience, even with microdosing. And they were asking really good questions, you know,

but that's not something that's for everyone, you know, and that's obviously a big part of our conversation and anybody else who's in the space from Rick Doblin to Michael Pollan to Tim Ferris to whoever has a voice in this space, Dennis McKenna, it's not for everyone. And it doesn't have to be. What we do is we try to give people the kitchen sink of every transformative experience we've ever had and to teach it in a way that makes it easy to access for people. And I think that gives you options, right? And that's all it's about is having direct experience with breathwork. Obviously, we're not doing direct experience with plant medicines but you know for all the legal tools we're going to give you a direct experience with that and it's your opportunity to a show up be

surrender to what your expectations may be or what you think you should do right stop shooting on yourself and just experience that and it is different for everyone, but I mean, 98% of the people in Sedona came out of that just ripped wide open and different for that experience, right? And for the couple people who may not have had the same experience, I would just say those things take effort, right? And that's why I commend the people

who push themselves in the breath work, right? There was a couple people who weren't per se, and I don't know what their experience was. Only they do, right? Even if they tell me, oh, you know, I fell asleep or whatever the case may be, they know their experience. And their experience may have been transformative or all that they could handle at that point. You know? So again, it just, in any, in any adventure you start to get the best out of it and to be the best version of yourself, you just start where you're at and do what you can. Simple as that. Surrender to where you are. Yeah. All right. Let's see here for both of y'all at age 24, what did you have? Right.

What did you have wrong? Nothing. for what did you have right what did you have wrong nothing what place of wisdom or advice what piece of wisdom or advice would you give yourself at that time i mean i kind of knew how to work out a little bit you know like i knew how to push myself through some challenging things i'd done a couple plant medicine journeys but um i was still so you know, a slave to my own ego and a slave to my own emotional needs for validation and all of these different things. Like I had such a limited scope of actual free will. I mean, I could kind of choose what was on the menu when I was at a restaurant, but like the actions that I was taking, the people that I was trying to see what I was trying to do and was really so compelled from a need to do things, to love myself that, um, you know, I love the 24 year old version of myself. It was the best he

could do at the time. But I think the game that's interesting is how much agency can you get? How much actual choice can you have and i don't think you can have actual choice until you understand those subterranean subconscious forces that are compelling you like you know we were talking about this earlier if someone someone rejects you and then says oh i love you so much you're the best and then they kind of go away this kind of push-pull strategy. You can get caught up in this seductive web like that. It's the classic form of seduction,

like, oh, you're the best, you're amazing, blah, blah, blah, and then silence for a week. And then come back, oh, hey, so I'm gonna see him, I wanna see you. You can get caught in that, cause you can internalize it and then you'll get caught. And then you don't have the agency to see you, you know, you can get caught in that because you can internalize it and then you'll get caught and then you don't have the agency to be like, oh, let me see what's going on here. I see why I'm so excited about this thing. I didn't understand what I'm doing.

And for me, you know, just it was that relentless nut kicking extravaganza of the open relationship that really cracked open all of the layers that I couldn't see into and all those layers of my ego. So yeah, I mean, I'd say just keep, you know, being aware, like awareness is the game. Just be aware, start tracking your emotions, start to understand the ego, start to understand what's pushing and pulling you what's your what you're afraid of what you're craving what you're greedy for you know and why all of those things are there and i think that's the key yeah that's i'd have nothing to add to that i didn't i didn't uh i mean shit i i really didn't have much that i was doing right at 24. Plenty I was doing wrong. Similarly, I was just burning the candle at both ends. I think the biggest mistake that I made at that age was I was leaning heavily on our culture's permitted drugs to experience altered states of consciousness because I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin.

And I felt like I needed those things to fit in. I felt like I needed those things to actually quiet my monkey mind. And to a degree they worked, but they have consequences, right? And I think, you know, however much time is spent there, again, I love my 24 yearyear-old self just as you love your 24-year-old self. All the time that was spent in a life that didn't necessarily feel right. It felt like there was more, but I couldn't grasp it. I couldn't understand it. My awareness was so limited at that stage of the game. Now that I've had these practices that have opened me up and started to expand and shorten and narrow that blind spot to where I really can sort what's going on inside,

I have gratitude for the contrast. I have gratitude for all the years spent in dismay, all the years spent without hope, all the years spent with confusion. And it's easier for me, in hindsight, to appreciate all that, right? Michael Pollan, in his book, How to Change Your Mind, he talked about having gratitude

for having waited as long as he did until his first psychedelic experience. Because it just put all that, this entire life he had prior to that in perspective. So it's never too late. And that's part of our shows, is giving you the tools, right? So if you can jump in early, that's awesome. Yeah, it's great if you're 24 and you're listening you know we didn't have that

we didn't have that at 24. we didn't have people who were talking about stuff that was expanding our mind on podcasts you know we had books that were written that we could kind of track down but like we didn't have this medium whereas whereas real people talking about real stuff, not philosophically, but like tangibly. And so I think that's a, you know, it's a big advantage. But, you know, there's also challenges in our culture with social media and the different elements that are just forces to be fucking reckoned with right now that we probably didn't have to reckon with then either. So, you know, it's like we have more tools, but maybe more pressure that's put on us. So we need to lean on those tools even more.

100%. How do you anticipate your views on relationships evolving as you move on to later stages in life? Will you be Grandpa Polly? I think something akin to Polly is much more common in elderly communities than most people realize old folks get down. Yeah. So for me, it's been an interesting thing. I knew that, you know, the, I, I didn't have the substrate of, know emotional and mental and spiritual sovereignty to be in a monogamous relationship because one i was i couldn't lie about i couldn't cheat you know i was never a cheater i cheated one time in my whole life so i was never i was never able to do that because the anxiety of it was too

much wasn't because i was like some great noble fucking truth teller i just couldn't i was too too anxious a person to do that so and i needed too much validation to be monogamous so poly was both a desire for me to experience something that i never experienced. Also to, I needed it for my own validation, right? So we entered that journey. I didn't know it was gonna teach me so much about myself. That was a great blessing, challenging, great, but great blessing. Transition out of that with Whitney into a place,

you know, that I've called the no relationship relationship, which is interesting, cause there's no agreements. Nobody's primary, nobody's primary nobody's anything um and it it's it works especially especially like right at the start you know like having no agreements no x but the problem is is like some things creep back in even unspoken things so it's like difficult it's it's a difficult place to stay for too long it's kind of like being single you know but but a very honest single you know where you're like completely honest about everything but you have no expectations and whatever but ultimately that desire to feel special that desire to feel important that desire to feel chosen even though it's not promised you

still want it and so those are attachments that form. So it's kind of taken, whereas like a couple of weeks ago, I might've been like, I think the no relationship relationship is a thing. Now I'm kind of like, you know what? It's just things creep in and it's easier now for me to track them and to kind of like deal with them because they don't have something to stick to and we're not trying to hold up some big flag um so that's been an interesting journey to understand what it's like to be in a completely honest single situation where i can see people and go on dates and tell everybody else that i'm dating that i'm doing because that's a requirement for me if you're not willing to listen to that then we can't't move forward. But I could honestly foresee, I could foresee

either a really strong primary partnership with some, you know, some openings for some physical and, you know, intimacy indulgences, you know, and I think I would always be open to that transforming and shifting, but I probably see a stronger, closer to monogamy level primary partnership. Or if I can't find that person, and that person is, I don't feel like there's a partner like that, then I'm just going straight roomy with it,

where I'm like loving, or Ram Dass, where i'm like loving the trees and the clouds and the grasses and when you hug a tree it's like hugging yourself you know i'm like going i'm gonna just love try to love the world with as oh peeled open a heart as i possibly can and that'll be my great beloved and that'll be my great beloved. And that'll be my primary partnership, which will be with all life. But I'm open to either. But I'm thinking it's going, I'm not going to, I don I think probably, you know, that would get tiring to a certain degree. And, uh, especially, no, not necessarily time. It's just a matter of the pace of how many dates are going on and like what you're doing. I'd probably just spend more time in nature and more time like working on books and doing different things. So yeah,

that's where I see kind of my future going. And it just really depends on whether I, I find that partner or that person who I really feel like, Oh, like, wow, you're the queen, you know, like you're the one, you're the one who's really my equal in life from here. Um, so we'll see. Yeah. That Yeah, that's beautiful, brother. I personally don't have any expectations around that. I mean, I think people always say, like, where do you see yourself in five years? And I just laugh because I have no fucking clue, right? Like five years ago, I was getting ready to retire from fighting. I didn't think I'd be working here, had no intention to podcast or anything like that.

You know, like it was just too far out of reach. And then even in the last two years, there's been a lot of changes. Tosh and I have been living together for eight years. You know, initially, if somebody said, hey, eight years from now, you're going to be in an, you're gonna be married with a kid and you're going to be open. I would, that would be so far away from me. I'd, I'd be like, I don't, how do you even fucking get there? You know, the seven year relationship I was with before Tosh, we didn't have an open relationship, but we swung towards the end of it for the last year and a half. And that was awesome in its own right too.

So I don't, I don't know where I'll be, you know, like when I'm an old man, I have, there's no way to know that until you're there. And the only hope that I have is that I've continued to grow my family and my tribe on any level. And if those agreements shift from loving people physically, you know, like sexually to, I only love Tosh in that way, or I only love one person in that way and it's not Tosh, I don't know. You know, like I have very high hopes

that Tosh and I go all the way to the end and I believe we can, certainly with what we've been through and how we've grown together and how we continue to work on ourselves and with one another. I don't see any reason why that wouldn't be the case but i'm not attached to any one way and that's one of the things that i try to let people know

who get a little triggered around this stuff like this is non-prescriptive get a little triggered get a little triggered i was joking around i was like this halloween instead of saying boo just say non-monogamy to people and that'll really scare the fuck out of them i'll leave your doorstep mad. They'll smash some pumpkins. They'll be terrified. They'll run home and cry. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, and that just goes back to like that idea that if it's non-prescriptive, like just look at it that way. You know, like when I talk about things that I'm doing, it's because, you know, you and I are in large part open books. We want to talk about things that have helped us transform. And if somebody asks us a question, like I went on a podcast where, you know, the guy, the guys mentioned to me like, Hey, we're, this isn't, we really don't want to get into the psychedelic discussion. And I was like, okay, no problem at

all. We can keep it weight training and whatever. And then they asked me a question on how I've become the person I've become today. And it was like, Hmm me to answer that lips bro yeah I want me to give you fucking 10 of that answer you know so I think um you know obviously there are there are multiple angles to approach that for people who are trying to do this you know our friend Chris Ryan he's very private with his personal stuff totally okay Wednesday Martin very private with his personal stuff totally okay wednesday martin very private with their personal stuff and i think as authors on books around this they have you know a reason you know and i think for us um i just see you know for every person out there who gets really triggered and says some hateful shit there's 10 people that are like dude

thank you so much for talking about that and And even among those 10, there are people who are saying, hey, I'm not going to do it. I have no interest in doing it, but thank you for talking about this, right? And I think that kind of fuels the reason to keep talking about the things that really help us in life. And, and, you know, there are challenges that come to us external that maybe we're not consciously welcoming in. And there's challenges that we sign the fuck up for where we say, Hey, this is going to be really hard, but we're going to do it anyways. You know, and through all those, we find beauty, we find answers and we find growth. And I think that's, that's just it. So as long as I'm able to continue to refine and continue to find new ways to grow and learn and to be a student my entire life, I don't know what that

looks like. I don't know if poly is a part of that, but I know that it has been so far and it's been the most challenging and the most awesome thing that I've done so far. No doubt. No doubt. All right, guys, you just heard me discuss some of the pros and cons, peaks and valleys to poly and open relationship and whether or not that will continue on. But I do want to take a moment here to talk about one of our sponsors. And this podcast is brought to you by Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of amazing classes covering dozens of creative and entrepreneurial skills. You can take classes in everything from photography and creative writing to design productivity and more. So whether you're returning to a longtime passion project, challenging yourself to get outside your

comfort zone, or simply exploring something new, Skillshare has classes for you. So some of the classes that I'm trying to take with this are involved with entrepreneurship. And a lot of that has to do with very simple things like how to grow an Instagram audience, how to market successfully via email, how to build a website. All these things are things that I'm now a bit more interested in because I'm trying to grow my own personal brand and kingsboo.com. So there's a lot there for me to dive into. I think it's so important to be a lifelong learner. And this is exactly what I was just talking about on the podcast. There are experts in the world who have set up classes for you here via Skillshare that you can watch and you're going to gain a lot from it. Join the

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That's skillshare.com slash Kingsbury. All right, guys. And now back to our regularly scheduled program. All right. Aubrey's back from his fantastic dump in record time. And there's a question only for you here. This is a good question. It was a good one, actually.

It was a good one. It came out smooth. Paul Cech would have been proud. Well, yeah, it was really, it was kind of like a soft serve that you left on too long and it just filled above the water on the cone. The iceberg. Call that the water on the iceberg the iceberg yeah i had to flush that one yeah it's not a good one for the room no no no the water suppresses you are proud when it comes out of the water for sure you moved a lot all right is aubrey

ever going to have kids i think it would be epic to hear you two talking as dads that's actually one of the things that attracts me to being a father the most is just to be able to philosophically experientially speak on that experience and know what it really feels like i mean i've caught glimpses of it with my sister shannon's kids seeing like a little bit of me in them and being like oh like i see a little bit of myself in you and but i'm not around them that much you know and i'm not taking the responsibility and they're not my kids um but that's been like the closest feeling i've had to like oh this is my young kid you know and i've had other people who are young that have been kind of like you know i've played the father role with or uncle role with like temporarily energetic yeah exactly um but yeah okay so me am i gonna have

kids that depends on depends on my partner you know like depends on whether i have a partner that i really want to have kids with and whether i can see myself having kids with them and that and that that partnership is really strong and dependable and i can count on it and it like it's something that's that's going to hold up um and not that if that changes you know if it changes it changes you can only make your best efforts but it'd have to be somebody who i really felt like this is my equal this is my queen like we're having kids and i'm stoked about it um if not then I'll just kind of share my love and light with the world at large rather than focusing in on, you know, raising a kid myself. But yeah,

I'd love to be able to have that discussion personally. Yeah. Fuck yeah. And it's such a good answer because just as we mentioned with polyamory and with psychedelics, having kids is not for everyone. And it's not. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a dad now. I'm saying that because I have many friends who thought having a kid would save their relationship. It doesn't fucking work that way. If your relationship is fucked,

adding the ultimate stressor of taking the responsibility of someone else's life into your relationship doesn't fix anything. It just adds more pressure and pressure exposes all the cracks. If there's cracks in the way you communicate with one another, that shows up, you know, and the list goes on and on.

But just saying that, I'm really appreciative of that because it's clear you don't have an attachment to either outcome. And it's clear that your focus is on the kids, right? Whether they're your own biological kids or the world at large as your children. The mission is for the good of all, and it is to leave this place a little bit better than we found it. No doubt.

No doubt, brother. Can you both go over your diet eating lifestyle? Do you intermittent fast? What sources are you putting in your body that you feel is most beneficial for your health? and then carbohydrates last. You know, I'm not super strict. It's not like I won't have a slice or two of pizza or have some pasta or something like that. Especially later in the day, it kind of slows me down if I do it early. So I don't ever do that for breakfast.

Like you almost never see me eating pancakes unless I just want to fucking tank my day. Like right off the start, it's just I'm going to be watching football all day and it doesn't matter if I just doze in and out of a nap. But I haven't like gone really strict into full ketosis and I've done fasts too and other different like spiritual diets and different things like that. But I haven't done like really a strict ketosis since recently in Sedona where I got that keto pen, the K-E-Y-T-O, which is cool. It measures your acetone levels

at the end of your breath. So you can kind of gauge where you're at. And just even before I really started, you know, started that plan, I was at, you know, a three out of eight on the acetone levels, which I was talking to you. I was like, Kyle, what does that mean? And you're like, oh man, you're like fucking right on the cusp. Like you're just about there, which is cool, which means that I've been somewhat fat adapted from all the MCT oil and all the high fat diets that I've had. But when I was able to continue that and with, you know, a little bit of restriction of my calories and the calories that I did intake was either super high fat or some protein. Um, and I was getting those fives and sixes, I just found I had a really inexhaustible source of energy, which is something that has eluded me for a long time,

is like feeling like I had reserves and like a reservoir of energy. So I'm kind of hooked now, actually, because I've always been kind of flirting on the edge of being there in a kind of actual state of ketosis or not. And like I said, I've been on a three, which is like kind of in between a little bit of a dual energy burner, but not quite really there. But I think for me pushing in just with how good I felt, I think I'm to be pushing into a more um regular state of ketosis yeah and it was awesome to see you're like damn dude i've never felt like this i know it's like yeah buddy that's why i fucking beat the drum yeah no question um i haven't been as great with my intermittent fasting lately just with so much travel and a lack of sleep and i'm trying to implement more of those yin practices

like the float tank, getting body work done, doing breath work, making sure I'm taking time for myself because it's been largely unsustainable for me at my personal pace that I've been pushing right now. I get a lot of benefit from doing the 16-8 fasting. We had Dr. Peter Atiyah on. He's a part of the Zero Fasting app, which is a great free app to help you with intermittent fasting and the longer fasts. I've done a couple of five-day water fasts. I spent about two years in ketosis after I retired from fighting. And I think a lot of that helped my brain be better from a lot of the damage that had happened. I think it's great. I think it's something I'll circle back to

for at least two or three months every year until I die. Peter Atiyah does seven days keto, seven day water fast, seven days keto every quarter. That's a bit extreme. But he's also fucking Dr. Peter Atiyah, right? And he encourages people to jump in with him for that. I think those resets that allow us to have less insulin resistance more carb tolerance and just kind of give us the ability

to shift um as a dual pathway for metabolism i think are really important you know and our ancestors would go without carbohydrates for a period of time every fucking year unless your ancestors are all from the equator that's the way it went down. So I think that can be beneficial for people intermittently. And it's not to say one diet's better than another. It's just to say, if you lived closer to the poles, if all your family's from Ireland, odds are you do better going without carbohydrates for a little bit each year. And so it's good to drop into that. Right now, what I've been doing, recently got turned on to Paul Saladino, the carnivore doc, and he'll be on the show in December. And Ben Greenfield's our boy, and I was talking to him,

and he's getting all jacked and tanned minus the tan. And he goes, yeah, I'm like 90% carnivore. I'll still eat some blueberries and avocado, and occasionally I'll have a salad if Jess makes a salad. But he was building strength, and he said, I have a ton of energy and all this. And I know how that dude works out. He's a freak. He's fucking three times a day.

He's grinding. Any one of his three workouts is probably harder than the way I train now. And so I had tried the carnivore strictly for about 17 days and got that big-ass rash. It was headed right for my junk and I pulled the cork and went back to eating a lot of meats, avocado, and some dark leafy greens and the rash went away and I felt good. And then it was kind of adverse to it. But now since Greenfield's done it, for the last month and a half, I've been doing mostly carnivore, much higher protein levels than would be successful in a ketogenic diet. And I'll still eat a salad or two once per week, once or twice per week. And I'll have avocado and

some goat cheese and things like that. And I just feel fucking great. I'm building muscle. I'm losing fat. A lot of people are asking like, dude, you're taking TRT and all this shit. And it's like, oh, my weight hasn't changed at all. I'm just dropping body fat percentage. And I feel good. I've got energy. I shaved fucking six minutes off my 5K. And I'm not at all. I'm just dropping body fat percentage and I feel good. I've got energy. I shaved so fucking six minutes off my 5k and I'm not a runner. I'm 230 pounds, but shaving two minutes off each mile for three miles. That's a good thing. You know, like I can see that and I'm not trying to train for anything specific, but I just feel good. And so you look at any of these super foods like maca and even some of the mushrooms that we love,

you know, and moringa leaves and things like that. They fucking pale in comparison to liver. They absolutely pale, but the liverwurst tastes good. It's pre-cooked. It's already ground. You just squeeze them off in a pan with some ghee and you're good to go. Kyle's also a savage who does not require things to be delicious for him to eat it i would just see him open a pack of grass-fed organic hot dogs and eat the whole pack with no condiments and i'm like how the fuck do you do this is this like a fucking eating competition like what are you doing here man he's like keeps me keeps me focused it's like all right and it gives me full right if i'm using condiments i'm still gonna be hungry i love condiments and i'll have condiments at dinner when i'm gonna eat as much as i can but

if i gotta eat light for lunch so i have energy throughout the day a pack of six organic hot dogs no mustard no nothing not for me all right what tools what tools did you at the ffs mastermind in sedona and what the intention of using them. All right, well, I think there's a couple letters missing. I think we answered that. Yeah, let's see here. This is a good one. This is from one of our girls. I'm seriously experiencing hug withdrawal.

The oxytocin I got from all the deep hugs had me feeling high all weekend. As a single mom with my kids half the time, I often go days without a meaningful touch. I've been fine with it until the summit when I was reminded how beautiful and nourishing it feels to share that kind of energy and physical contact on a regular basis.

Do you have suggestions for things I can do on my own during those stretches of time where I'm more solo? It's funny, it reminds me of caitlin you know like one of the jokes we always had is when we would spend time apart you know because we were in a relationship for six years or so and then we've been apart for eight years and never danced back into an intimate relationship but we would always joke and we still continue to joke that when she's alone you know she'll be like i'm low and it's low on hugs right like hugs is like a food like a food source or like a staple nutrient that she could get and

that's that physical contact and i think it's a reasonable way to look at it like you can get low and oxytocin is the kind of materialist reductionist way to define what a hug is but i think there's a lot more energetically going on than simply the oxytocin because you can get that in a nasal spray if you really want you know and maybe that's not a bad idea but nonetheless like i don't think it's as related to the oxytocin as it is just that human connection and just the heart resonance and the co-mingling of the energy fields when two people are open and receptive the problem i think is is that we have a lack of intimacy among non-sexual partners that is i think a systemic problem where like guys don't feel comfortable touching their other guy friends in a non-sexual just loving way either through hugging or just kind of hanging out

or just like holding hands or whatever yeah Yeah, holding hands is huge. There's like rampant homophobia, right? If you're doing that, oh, it means you're gay. You know, it doesn't mean you're gay. You know, look at any other animal, look at all the chimps grooming each other and stuff like that. Are they gay? No, they're just chimps being chimps

and like recognize that we're human animals. And then that feels good. And then with our female partners as well, like it doesn't every female that you sleep with or cuddle with doesn't mean you're having sex with, you know what I mean? Like I've had people, friends, you know, who I've spent time with that there's no sexual,

there's nothing sexual at all, not kisses, not anything, you know, no random boners that were kind of like shamefully hiding away like i've done that too where you've like cuddled with somebody that you can't have sex with and you're like we won't do it but you're hard the whole night like you gotta touch it to them exactly exactly like i'm not sorry i'm not talking about that i'm talking about like genuinely just friends and just holding them and like cuddling them and going to sleep and i think there's a huge gap in a space for that and i think the ffs with how loving and open everybody was as far as on that level that that is really nourishing and just trying to find ways to cultivate that and bring that home is really important so you

know and as i look out in the future, those type of connections, you know, are a lot, actually a lot more fulfilling than a lot of the kind of empty sexual connections that I've had. You know, like for example, one non, completely non-sexual relationship is with my friend Ellie, who's a great singer. And she stayed at the house and would play music and we'd talk about different stuff and we'd sleep in the same bed and we'd hold each other when we go to bed. Absolutely nothing sexual, you know, but very like, we're just like loving friends. And like, I remember that weekend, that weekend stands out as one of my favorite weekends, you know, just hearing her play the piano and sing in the, in the big room and just us spending time together was great. And that I look at then at some of the other,

date weekends that I've been on that feel just a little emptier. Yeah, there was touch there and then there was some sexual pleasure, but it wasn't that kind of heartfelt, soulful connection. So I think like reprioritizing, like what's the way we wanna spend our time and who are the people that we can find a way to do that with? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you knocked that out of the park. The only thing I would add to it is if you don't have a dog, get a dog. Dogs are fucking incredible. There's the same,

they can measure it scientifically, that same dump of oxytocin. And of course, as you just addressed, it's much more than that. But you know, like when Tosh goes on her date nights with Christian and Bear goes to sleep, I'm just hanging with Guapo and I'll do things that are uplifting, but snuggling him is where the fucking medicine is, you know? And he fucking loves me through and through no matter what I do. Even if I'm an asshole and I yell at him for crossing the street in front of a car. Five seconds later, he fucking loves me. Right. It's that, it's that always present, always in the now love that dogs can bring to the table.

And yeah, there's a degree of responsibility there. And when you're traveling, it's kind of a pain in the ass finding somebody to house sit or whatever, or you got to bring them with you. But it's, uh, I just, they're irreplaceable you know he's my third dog i had two dogs before him and i absolutely love having him around um i've had dogs get me through some really tough parts of my life you know my childhood dog lobo was 150 pound wolf he was always by my side man i'm still cracked open from the weekend. He would stand in between me and my parents

when they were getting into it, every time. You know, he always had my back he always loved me and he was my protector you know it's just immeasurable what you can get out of a relationship like that you know so dogs watch some uplifting shit bill bearers paper tiger you know i watched that with uh tosh and christian but i watched the chapelle comedy special by myself and i laughed my ass off you know and you're not all the noise gets quiet in that situation you know whatever can bring you joy and fill your love meter that's the shit that you do when you're solo yeah yeah it's an interesting discussion on dogs.

I remember the first psychedelic journey I had was that vision quest I did out in the mountains, which was with that shaman who gave me a dose of mushrooms and MDMA as my first experience. And it was the one that really cracked me open. And I've told that story a lot, but I was up all night and I was staying out in the New Mexico mountains and the coyotes were just howling and like swirling around. And they had an old dog at the, at the main house, my house, I was in a year kind of pretty far into the, into nature. Um, and the

old dog always slept in the main house, but the old dog could tell that I was like a little bit vulnerable and it was kind of stormy. And there was the wind was blowing and the coyotes were howling and i'm cracked wide open and i don't feel quite back in my body yet and that dog stayed outside his name was raja the dog stayed outside the door all night in the cold it never did an old dog but he stayed all night in the cold because he knew that that was a sign of comfort for me i could look over at the dog and the dog would like look back at me and then just look out and be like you know like i got you like i'm here watching the door and that was like such a cool experience to to have where you know another animal kind of taps into your soul to a certain degree and like understands

things that you haven't been able to you can't communicate with words and just like lobo did for you yeah loby the dog that i had with whitney was not as supportive whitney whitney would go whitney would go leave to sleep with somebody else and i'd be in bed just wrecked and loby would be waiting at the door for whitney because she has such separation anxiety for her mom i'd be like come here and i was like no i'm waiting for mom too i'm like fuck we're in the same spot aren't we loby you won't even come over here and cuddle me it'd be so much better if we could love each other right now exactly and then whitney enters the house and loby's all over

me licking my neck and he's like okay i got it yeah all right i think we only had time for one more here um let's see how to choose this all right what is the greatest lesson you've learned from your fit for service experience and how could us listeners learn from your shared experiences? Well, I think the greatest lesson is that community is greater than the sum of its parts, right? Like there's something about a community that facilitates growth beyond the individual connections and it becomes a multiplier so you get one you have a good one good connection that's good you have two you have three you have five you have ten you have 20 you have 40 you have 50. you know it just becomes this thing it's i

guess like what comedians talk about like the bigger the room it is the easier it is to make people laugh because as soon as somebody starts laughing they can hear anybody laugh which randomly anybody's going to find something funny then that gives you permission to laugh and then you start laughing but like a small room of 10 people is the hardest room to get roaring with laughter you know because you don't have those initial outliers that are going to be really like cracking up that's going to give everybody else permission to know that it's funny. You know, it's so, and I think that same with community, like the more people you have of like-minded spirit, the easier and more exponential that growth and transformation and vulnerability is going to be. So I think that's been the biggest

lesson is that, you know, the, as your community, I'm sure there's a tipping point to that, but as the community really expands and solidifies, the exponentially better it gets. Yeah, I mean, I have the same answer, but I think to personalize it, I think the lesson I've learned is just more of, it was, I had high expectations and high hopes, but I think seeing the transformation that took place in Sedona and from where it started to where it is now,

like that's what's blowing my mind more than anything is that when you do build something like this and everyone's invested, you can see growth that's unimaginable and, and you can feel it, you know, like, and their growth is our growth. Their joy is our joy. Like it's a shared feeling that we get to be witness to and be a part of. And I'm learning just as much as I'm teaching. And it's so fucking powerful.

It's such a cool thing to be a part of. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I feel very blessed. I'm blessed to serve it with you, brother. Yeah, brother. Well, I fucking love you. I love you too, man. I'm so happy we'll do this again.

I'd love to run this every couple months. Yeah, man, let's do it. Awesome, brother. That's great. Thank you guys for listening to the show today with Aubrey and I. We'll be doing this again, probably every couple of months.

Still planning on having the wife and Mr. Christian Pena on, on a once a month basis for Q&A. But fuck, man, people got cute questions for Aubrey as well. So why not get him on the show more often? And of course, with the amount of work that we're doing,

there's always plenty to discuss. Leave us that rating. You could be the grand prize winner and get a 30 minutes free zoom call. Any and all Q questions, any and all questions answered on the zoom call. You can ask me about anything and I'll tell you all the answers, the shit you don't want to ask in public. I'll be happy to answer in private one-on-one via a Zoom call for 30 minutes. And remember, onnit.com slash Kyle for 10% off all supplements and food products. Thank you guys for tuning in and we'll see you next week.