Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #151 Tah and Kole Whitty

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

Tah and Kole Whitty are two amazing people who are supporting the new wave of human evolution for optimization and wellness obsessed entrepreneurs for global change. We dive into the human psyche and discuss some topics very current to the times we're living in today.    Connect with TahKole: Website | https://www.tahkole.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/tahkole/?hl=en Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/TahKole/   Check out the Mentor in the Mirror podcast | https://apple.co/2XrZ4df   Help support the podcast by visiting our sponsors: Ancestralsupplements - Grass-Fed Colostrum  https://ancestralsupplements.com Use codeword VISIT  for 10% off / Only Valid through Shopify Option   OneFarm Formally (Waayb CBD) www.onefarm.com/kyle (Get 15% off everything using code word KYLE at checkout)   Check out the Fit For Service Fellowship | https://bit.ly/2K0IyJ7    Connect with Kyle Kingsbury on: Instagram | https://bit.ly/3asW9Vm   Subscribe to the Kyle Kingsbury Podcast Itunes | https://apple.co/2P0GEJu Stitcher | https://bit.ly/2DzUSyp Spotify | https://spoti.fi/2ybfVTY IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/2Ib3HCg Google Play Music | https://bit.ly/2HPdhKY    

Hello, friends. Today's episode is with a couple of fantastic people that I just met. Let's see, where did I meet them? Keith Norris introduced me to him from Paleo FX. They've spoken there. They recently spoke at a conference for Aperion with Dr. Michael Hamilton, who is fantastic, somebody that I've been learning a lot from, who will be a guest on the show in the future. Todd and Cole Witte are two really awesome people that have done quite a bit of work on themselves through plant medicines and various activities to really grow and understand themselves better.

A lot of self-work, a lot of diving into the human psyche, and just fantastic people to be around. They have a glow about them, and they're an incredible couple. So really thrilled that I got to have them on the show today. We talk about all sorts of stuff, current to the times. You know, I moved them up the ladder and wanted to get this show out as quickly as possible. So we'll jump right in. Remember, click subscribe. That way you don't miss an episode. Leave us a five-star rating. That way more people can see it with one or two ways that the show has helped you out in life. And of course, check out our sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Grass-Fed Liver and Bone Marrow by Ancestral Supplements. Ancestral Supplements makes New Zealand

source nose-to-tail organ meats, liver, and bone marrow in simple, convenient gelatin capsules. Beef liver and bone marrow are the most effective foods to support health and wellness. These traditional foods were and still are fundamental to our biology. It's incredibly insightful to see how animals in the wild instinctively go for the liver and bone marrow first, leaving the muscle meats for the birds. Even then, birds will be caught taking marrow bones high into the sky and dropping them onto the rocks in order to gain access to the inside. Liver and bone marrow provided concentrated amounts of vitamin A, choline, folate, B12, copper, heme iron, and fat-soluble activators that are now absent from the modern diet. This nourishment is known to support methylation and fundamental health.

Visit AncestralSupplements.com to see what they can do for you. Ancestral Supplements, putting back in what the modern world has left out. And you guys can get 10% off everything in the store using code word KING10 at checkout. This show is also brought to you by One Farm. And as I've mentioned, these guys have been the longest running supporter of the show. They have a single origin USDA certified organic hemp farm up in Colorado that is producing some of the very best CBD products on the planet. My wife, my son, and I have been consuming them for over a year now, and they are the best in the business. When I worked at Onnit, we used to get cases of different CBD companies sending stuff out and nothing really did the trick. There's a lot of so-so products in that industry. But once I got a hold of One Farm, formerly known as WAIB, I was blown away by how powerful their product is. They use full spectrum. That means you get all the cannabinoids and all the terpenes found. Terpenes have been shown to boost immunity like D-limonene and a number of other ones that they're still researching now show positive results in humans like us. So consume your best CBD by visiting onefarm.com slash Kyle, and you'll get 15% off everything in the store. That's onefarm.com slash Kyle for 15% off everything in the store.

And we're also brought to you today by Fit for Service. Fit for Service is Aubrey Marcus's mastermind group. You may have seen me post on my social media since I'm back and or you may have seen it on Aubrey's, but it is basically we're in our second year and we're doing trimesters this year. And we have just reopened this for trimester two. And it is the ultimate way to build community, a community of like-minded individuals that are all doing the work on themselves. Everyone in there trying to learn. Everyone in there is teaching as well. There's a lot of coaches. So what's cool is not only do you get to learn and grow, but you get to share your medicine with the group as well. And we have some amazing events. We went down to Tulum, Mexico

for the first trimester. Obviously with everything going on in the world right now, we have moved our second trimester back for the Tahoe Summit, but we will be visiting each other and meeting up so everyone can give each other hugs and love and get to know one another out in Tahoe in August. And all of the coaches from Aubrey Marcus to myself, to Eric Godsey, who's been a guest on the show, to Caitlin Howe, and many others on the outskirts that come in for these events, like Dr. Craig Conover, Dr. Dan Engel, both of which have been guests on the outskirts that come in for these events, like Dr. Craig Conover, Dr. Dan Engel, both of which have been guests on the show, to some really amazing musicians like East Forest and Porangi and many other great people that we have added to that list. I think when Dr. Wednesday

Martin was a guest speaker at the last event. So we really do pull in people from all different walks of life to teach what they know. And it's a great way to learn, a great way to connect to others, and a great way to find your tribe. You can enroll now at aubreymarcus.com and just look up Fit for Service. You fill out the application and we are accepting enrollment for, I think, the next month. So check that out. Also, let us know what you think of today's show at living with the

Kingsbury's on Instagram is my wife and myself. If you haven't heard me talk about this yet, I'm back on Instagram about a month after the fact just due to the fact that that's the easiest way to communicate with one another. And the fact that we're on lockdown for who knows how long, I wanted to make sure I kept up with the people. So hit us up there. Let us know what you think. Thank you guys. I love you all and check this one there. Let us know what you think. Thank you, guys. I love you all. And check this one out. All right, we're here.

Ta and Cole, we've joined the Cal Kingsbury podcast. I love it. Yeah, we're ready. Psyched to be here, man. Stoked. Well, we got a lot to talk about. I definitely want to get into current events. You know, I record in blocks.

And I've had, I think after my last trip to LA, I've had enough to get me through May. This will launch ahead of the curve of a lot of them because we've got some interesting times right now. And other than like five minutes I spent on the intro talking about it, haven't really covered a lot of the current events lately. So I definitely want to dive into that. I want to dive into a lot of your medicine as well, because I think it's quite appropriate that we start to look through the lens of archetypes and start to think about the world a little bit differently than just black and white and what we've been taught through scientific materialism. I mean, you pretty much said all of our favorite things. So,

you know, we're for it. It has been a crazy time, no doubt, right? So we're entering this kind of second phase of quarantine for a lot of people. And what that's bringing is, you know, entrepreneurs and thought leaders have been flocking down to Peru to work with ayahuasca and plant medicines. And to be honest, we're in a psychedelic experience right now that if you haven't been taking a look at yourself, you're probably seeing it now. Yeah. Yeah. Ultimate time for reflection here. Yeah, man. Definitely a time of reflection, a time to get into all the aspects of the organism, the human organism, you know, the spiritual part, the mental part, and definitely the physical part. And that physical part includes the microbiome,

you know, really bringing all these things into the highest of esteem so that they can interweave together and not be fractured is something that I see us having with what's going on in the current contraction of the situation on our planet where we're being told to isolate and kind of be in closed quarters. So this, this, we've been spreading out and we've been doing all this expansive stuff, but, you know, bringing it in so that we can contract and actually integrate is, is what I see a possibility of happening right now. Yeah. And it's forced, you know, so it's like, whether you're ready for it or not, here we are. And I think for a lot of people, it's a hard thing to wrap your head around, especially if you have not been doing any self-work or any yin practices, you know, any going within where you huddle up and return home and find your quiet center. I think it'd be really challenging even for people who have been doing the work, you know, especially if you have

kids and now the kids aren't in school and you find that your space and your time for yourself is diminished. And there's so much to cover here, but I just think that there's a lot unfolding. And I think if we can broaden our awareness to see what that looks like and then find some best practices, breast practices for ourselves. I'll take two of those. Or four, you know, we have time. Yeah, if we can find, if we can carve out space for ourselves and enough space to get clear, I think the processing can begin where we really start to evaluate what are some of the broken systems within the world?

What are some of the broken systems we have within our day-to-day lives and what really matters going forward in trying to rebuild a post-COVID-19 world? And I think you just said it is where we are right now is this is the opportunity to reflect on what was working, what wasn't working. And how many people went to sleep two weeks ago and said, man, I really hate my job. I wish I didn't have to go to work. I wish I didn't have to do this job. And you got what you asked for. Now Now what are you going to do about it? You may not have got it the way that you hoped or imagined. That being said, like you said, here's where we

are. What is the opportunity? What do I want to integrate back in? This is like a life elimination diet. What was not functional? What feels better? Maybe back pains or neck pains or headaches because you're not going to work. On the flip side of that, you may be seeing that the relationship that you're in or the people you've been participating in relationships with is not functional for you, and now you can't escape it. That assessment of what are you doing with your time right now, if you're just watching Netflix, are you still escaping? When are you going to take responsibility to illuminate where am I? Where do I want to be?

And really taking control of what your normal is now, regardless of where this evolves from. We're in the ground level of preparation and building right now for whatever you want to create. So it's like, I know that I'm about it. Let's do it. I'm in for it. I'm all about it, man. And for me, it always goes back to body, man, because that's the place that's been neglected so much. And the things that we've been finding with the clients that we have and our friends that are hitting us up for help and assistance in this time is people are, their jobs that they were distracted by, all the things outside that they were distracted by, they can't escape themselves now. And so all the stuff is coming

up, all of the feelings, all of the things that they've been burying and hiding behind, doing stuff by being busy, by doing, doing, doing, doing. They're now having to be with themselves. And so all of this stuff is coming up and they don't know how to navigate it. And so I think this is a prime time for people to really start to understand the navigational aspects of the human emotional landscape and mindscape and just bringing it all together. It's a great time for people to really move into this space of being with themselves because they have not been being with themselves. They've been being in systems. They've been in religions. They've been in corporations. They've been in

governments. They've been all of these family structures and doing all of this drama. And they haven't been able to really tune into what's going on with them. So now they have these feelings coming up and they don't know how to navigate it. So this is a prime time for people to really be in a space to start to explore. What is my anger? What is it doing? What is my sadness? What is it doing? What is my joy? What is it there for? What does all of this stuff signal? And when you can really see what that stuff signals, man, that's where the magic starts. And that's where we start to have consideration and compassion for each other as human beings on this planet. And I think that's where a huge growing point can happen from all of this, man. I'm very excited about this time right

now. Hell yeah. Well, I think one of the things that I want to really dive into on this podcast is tools for growth. And that goes from body to the mental, emotional, to the spiritual. And you usually spend a good portion of each podcast diving into background but i know you guys have uh a wealth of experience in all these modalities you guys coach people we run with the same groups of people through paleo effects and you know keith norris was just on the show and even though you guys will release ahead of him uh with paleo effects is delay you We're going to promote Paleo FX, but we can hold that off for a little bit. I think it's really important that we do give people tools.

But first, talk about how you guys acquired your tools. Talk about what life was like growing up and what led you here. And we can go as long as we want here. So don't worry about bullet pointing and shortchanging stuff. Just lay it on the line and dive deep. And I'll give you each your own space to do this. So whoever wants to jump in first, go for it. I'll take the side wink that Todd just gave me. Thank you. I mean, I think it's like most people end up in, you know, if they're in passion work or a passion project type of work, it usually comes from personal experience, right? And so for me, a lot of that came from, I was pretty typical at-risk youth. I went to three different high schools and all of that came from childhood trauma, childhood environment situational. And by the time I

reached 17, I ended up in a coma from a drug overdose, GHB. At this point, I had dropped out of high school. I was selling substances full-time. I was surviving. I had an apartment. I had bills. I had things I had to pay for. And so I would use GHB recreationally to come down off of stimulants. And I considered myself a very smart drug user in the sense of it wasn't about the high for me. It was about connection. And this is in retrospect what I understand. It wasn't how much can I do? You know, how messed up can I get? It was when I was in that altered space, I could connect to people. I could be seen, my walls could come down and I could connect on a very deep, intimate level with people and get the support that I needed for stuff that had

happened in my life. My parents were not equipped for that. And we've talked about that since. And they didn't know what to do. You know, they grew up in Utah. I grew up in Utah. And their upbringing did not give them the tools for me. You know, from the moment I was born, my mom's epidural didn't take. So I told her, you know, I came through already just fully expressed as an individual. And after the coma, I knew that I needed to find something to attach to, something to give me. I just needed something to hold on to, to get out of that world. There had been a lot of drug busts at this point, a lot of friends ending up in jail. A lot of overdoses. The night that I ended up in a coma, there was, I think, nine or 11 people ended up in the ER that night.

Ultimately. All from the same party? Off the same substance. Damn, that's some strong G. Yeah. Well, what it was, turns out, was that someone tried to chemically recreate it. They were, you know, chemistry students, something like that. So they tried to chemically recreate it. They were a chemistry student, something like that. So they tried to make it. So we got poisoned is really what happened. And given the situation,

everyone got sent to different hospitals. I was the only one that was driven to an emergency room versus dropped off somewhere in an ambulance called because I wasn't breathing. And the guy where I was staying or where I was at, the guy who owned the condo came home. And he walked into his bathroom to see some 17-year-old girl unconscious. And so for him, it was – had he not walked in then because I was already not responsive, then I don't know how much longer I would have had. And him and another guy carried me out to the car. And every six feet feet or so they had to give me CPR because I wasn't breathing at all. And once I got to the hospital, you know, they had to use the paddles to revive me the whole night. And so the thing was that was not a traumatic experience for me.

I don't remember shit. So maybe on a physiological level, there was trauma. But for me, the real trauma of it was having to abandon the only community that I had ever really known that I felt safe with. And there was a lot of things to it. To latch on to something, I went and did Miss Utah Teen, the pageant, and I competed at Miss Teen USA. I won Miss Utah because their platform was substance abuse education. So I was like, well, if anyone should teach kids about the dangers of love drugs,

I think I got it, right? And I became an advocate for substance abuse education. I was never anti-drug. I understood that there wasn't a safe way in, of my current cosmology. So I became a poster child for Partnership for a Drug-Free America and did the Montel Williams show and like all these big national talk shows, helped the UN establish, um, programs in Kosovo, got to go play shows there because I'm a musician, all this stuff. On paper, everything should have been like, wow, you know, at 20 years old, I'm making

$5,000 an hour to speak. The thing was, by the time I hit 21, 22, I realized I was trying to make up for everything I wasn't. Every time I would speak, it was like I was trying to make up for anything I'd ever done wrong. And I could only see the people I couldn't help. And I was getting 200 plus emails a day from kids and parents. And it was honestly sucking the life out of me. I was only connecting to people in trauma. There was no inspiration and hope in that. The only hope was that, yeah, if you can get strong enough to stay away from it someday.

And the more I got into understanding the 12-step process, understanding Narcotics Anonymous and working with some of these groups, I realized we're doing a massive disservice to people. We're disempowering them. We're telling them once you're an addict, you always are. And as I sat and watched this, yes, there was amazing gifts that came from those groups, but there was a limitation and a huge one. And most people might have stopped using one substance only to direct all of the dysfunctional behaviors to another, whether it was video games, sex, cigarettes, coffee. Shopping. Yep. Anyone that's been to an AA meeting knows everyone smokes a shit ton of cigarettes and

drinks a lot of coffee. And eats all the cookies. Yes. And which isn't functional either, right? So I decided I would step away from speaking at that point after my last government contract, because we have a huge problem with soldiers overseas with opiates. And as I stepped away from it, I said, you know, maybe someday I'll get back out and share my story again, but not right now. And my story was getting manipulated like crazy to fit different narratives or different objectives of different groups. And I would get in writing that they had to be pre-approved before sharing my story. They would do it anyway, because once it's run, there's not really anything I could do at that point. And between different news stations

and articles, I finally was like, you know what? I'm not here as your pawn. This isn't your story and this isn't, you don't get to do what you want with it. So I became a full-time bartender in New York City, as one does. I moved to New York City by myself at 19. I got signed to a management company there. There's a guy named Larry Rudolph who managed Britney Spears. So his assistant signed me. So I thought, oh, my dreams are going to come true.

I'm going to be a big rock star someday. And got to record some awesome stuff. And after a few years in New York and pop crashed as it was. This is the early 2000s. So I ultimately gave up, moved back to Utah, married the guy my parents liked and said, maybe I was wrong. Maybe this whole living your dream thing is not it. And I need to just get serious and get married and settle down at 23 because I'm getting too old or something, 23, 24, whatever it was.

That lasted a couple of years until my health completely crashed. And I had always looked healthy. I was definitely not healthy, but I wasn't overweight. And by 26, I had endometriosis and ovarian torsion, fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, arthritis in my knee, or what I was told was arthritis, 40 degree scoliosis curve in my back. I'd had 24 broken bones at that point from different accidents, not an MMA fighter. I don had 24 broken bones at that point from different accidents, not an MMA fighter. I don't know anyone else with as many injuries as me that wasn't in some extreme sport or a fighter. And what I realized was one day at Disneyland, I was walking around with my

ex-in-laws and the pain in my body was so severe and the swelling in my body and in my knees was so severe. I just sat down on the ground and cried. And I was like, this can't be what life is for a 26 year old or a 50 year old, you know? And I said in that moment, I'm going to get up or I'm out of this. Like I'm checking out. And so I decided to buy a treadmill so I could walk every day. So depending on where the body pain was, I could at least do something. And then moving the treadmill into place, it fell on my foot, split my big toe in half. Two years of reconstructive surgeries. The clear message was, you have to change your

lifestyle. This isn't an exercise thing. This is a much deeper process. And that's what led me down the path of psychedelics, plant medicine, or as we call it, power plants. And that's really when it started to deconstruct all of the traumas and the stressors and how I had developed through childhood. And in a plant ceremony, I got a clear message. If you don't change the way that you think about yourself, what you believe on a cellular level about yourself, you're going to give yourself leukemia because you hate yourself so deeply. You will kill yourself in the most painful way possible. When I felt the impact of that, I had already known that I was creating my fibromyalgia. A big part of it was inflammation, but a big part of it was self-loathing.

And that was kind of that, all right, are you ready to really dive into this? And to step into working with plants after coming from the once an addict, always an addict world, then I had all of that to deconstruct, which was a lot. It was a lot. And then, am I a traitor? What have I told all these kids, all these tens of thousands of kids? Which team am I on? How do I identify with what I think of myself? Yeah. I'm a fraud because there's kids out there that still believe what I told them. And, you know, fast forward to now, 10 years later, 11, whatever math bit, there's no way I would be where I was, where I am currently, if it also wasn't for the use of plant medicine and psychedelics. Because I had to deconstruct some of these deep stories, not only from myself, but the Mormon religion, the culture of Utah, the shame that I had self-inflicted and had been placed on me from the adults around me, like in my neighborhood

growing up. And had I not done that work, there's no way that I would be pain-free now. There's no way I would have been off medications now for nine years. And I didn't know pain-free was possible. And that's when I decided I was going to go back and start opening or helping to facilitate that door for anyone else that wanted to walk through it. Because when you have a mission, whether it's saving animals or ending sex slave trafficking or whatever, if you're in pain, you can't fulfill your purpose the same. Pain is the biggest distraction from purpose out there. And it became my mission to serve and facilitate as many people

as possible getting pain-free, which meant I became a personal trainer. I got into fitness and that brought one element in understanding diet and nutrition because of how I dismantled my fibromyalgia and thyroid conditions. And to watch people walk through that now and for them to see me, that's what it takes. But there's no greater honor than for someone to come to you and share their deepest, darkest, most terrifying things and to be loved anyway. And to really learn what unconditional love is so that they can even start to pattern that for themselves. Yeah, huge, huge. Yeah, there's a lot there that i did that i want to dive into i'm thinking of a guy who just spoke at uh dr michael hamilton's conference mario martinez yeah we love yeah i read his book the mind body code a while ago

and it just blew my mind the science of that into that, the mental emotional states. Yeah, we just had him on our podcast. That's incredible. He's amazing. His breakdown of cultural conditioning and how it shows up in the physiology, things like if you don't want to go out to dinner with someone, don't say I can't because I have a headache because you're telling your body that pain is the escape from things I don't want to do.

Like you're creating a habitual pattern, a neurological pattern in your body and everything from, yeah. And everyone should read that. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Cech was talking about that with the pain teacher. If you have a dysfunctional relationship and you're always like, that guy's such a pain in the neck, you eventually will have a pain in the neck through interaction with that. Like it will be made manifest through your word. Absolutely. It's that basic, but that complex at the same time the word isn't the word is the thing man i mean it's really that's have you read the four four agreements of course impeccable with your word man the word is everything bro i don't know if people really understand like we we intellectually get that uh but the depth of getting that is a whole other thing.

The physiological situation with how you speak to yourself and how you speak around yourself, your body manifests that and works to manifest that in the now. And when you make it a habit, everything about us physiologically is a habit. So when you speak that stuff into actualization, your body conditions itself and actually creates the body, creates itself around that behavior and that dynamic. So it will create pain if that's what you design it to do. One of my biggest realizations in having as many broken bones and accidents and sick, I was sick all the time. I got bronchitis and walking pneumonia almost every year. It was understanding there was a moment in my childhood when I broke my arm when I was four-ish. And what I realized was, not consciously, but as a child, the greatest gift is time and attention, right? And love from the people that you want to connect with, your parents.

And there was some part of my human organism that was like, man, breaking stuff is great. My parents have to stop everything and they have to take care of me. And there was some part of the animal instinctual intelligence of my organism that said, getting sick gives us attention and love and physical pain will heal. It's worth the trade-off in some way. Because if my deepest desire was to have connection and love, and that's how I learn, I get it, just like other people are high performance. I get connection and love from a parent or a father or whatever for performing on a high level. That's a conditioning, that belief. And it's not a conscious choice. It is an environmental conditioning since you're a child level, that's a conditioning, that belief. And it's not a conscious choice.

It is an environmental conditioning since you're a child. And that's why now we're so attuned to the fact of most of the people we work with are high performance entrepreneurs, typically in the wellness space in some capacity or physicians who come from one of two backgrounds, eight out of 10 of the times, or 80% of our almost thousand people we've surveyed at this point. Either the father was an alcoholic and was emotionally unavailable, or the father was high performance motivated and gave a lot of love or significance for high achievement. Either way, it doesn't make one way worse or better. It's how is the person's resiliency in their processing with what happened and are they consciously aware of where they're

performing from. If you're doing it for fear of losing love, that's hard on your body, on your adrenals, it taxed your system. If you're doing it to avoid pain of collapse, financial health or otherwise, that's taxing on your adrenals. There's no harmony there. There's not ease and freedom and flow to it because it's not the same. It's not freedom. You're doing it out of an avoidance. So that's something that I became so attuned to. Nice, my dog's throwing a toy around. Come here, cupcake. It's something that I, after I became attuned to it,

I started to see it in other people. And that's what became so powerful in our work in particular. She's throwing her lamb chop around. So as I started to work with other people, I started to see those patterns showing up for them as well. And that started to change how we onboarded clients. That started to change who we worked with or who we worked for.

So it's been a really incredible process that after we, when, because we spoke at that Appear On event and Mario, Dr. Mario Martinez was like two hours before us. And when we heard him talk, I was on the verge of just like jumping up and clapping 80% of the talk because everything he was saying was, it's never talked about. Yeah. Yeah. It's new science. I mean, it's been there. I mean, the sages and all the ancient spiritual teachings understand to some degree. You know, I forget the quote from the Bible, but the sins of our fathers, I'm butchering it now. Something about the sins of our fathers being handed down. Generation, we must pay for those.

We must pay those debts. You know, and that is true on an epigenetic level. Yes. And that's really the key is the epigenetic expression because of what's happened to us can be reversed, but you have to first become consciously aware of where you're operating from, work with those, which is why psychedelics and plant medicine work is so powerful is the heart, the heightened neuroplasticity and the ability to imagine and visualize can quite literally reverse the memory. It doesn't mean you forget what happened. You are no longer governed by the same driver. It's almost like just the engine's not there, or it's not turned on, but it's still there there you're still aware of it and it's one of my favorite topics

yeah i mean the expression of the human organism of every aspect of the human organism is really really important to consider when when looking into this stuff when when and it's one of the reasons why radical self-honesty is really important for us is because when you are expressing your truth, every atom in your body is actually delivering that expression. So when you're holding something back, you're holding back your atoms from expressing in a way that they're relaxed and they're supposed to express all the time. So when you program your body to hold back expression, you program your DNA to hold your genes, to hold back your expression. And that expression of your honesty, not just in the form of telling

the truth, but just being who you are, creating how you create gets thwarted. And that causes a physiological disruption on an atomic level and probably below that, subatomic level. And this is what we're really astute about showing people. That epigenetic expression is important on a macrocosmic level. The people that you interact with, the things that you do, how you navigate your business. If you're on brand all the time and on brand doesn't coincide with your body, if the way you show up with your family doesn't coincide with your body, it's blocking your expression. And that genetic expression gets turned on or off based on how you're holding things back. And that's an energy situation. And when you can get into a psychedelic space or just an altered space of yourself and really start to reprogram your entire

physiology, man, that's where the magic is, bro. And that we've seen some awesome stuff. I've seen some awesome stuff with myself, with my eyesight, you know, I was supposed to be blind eight years ago, you know, I don't wear glasses anymore. So this it's really, you know, that expression, that epigenetic stuff is, is really awesome. I'm glad that people are doing it. That Eperon summit was awesome a couple of weeks ago. And the work that Dan and Mike are doing are awesome. So, yeah. Yeah. Phenomenal stuff.

Yeah. Well, tell us about your background. Jump into growing up. What life was like. The changes you made. Well, I was born in 1912. I was born in 1971 on a cold December night around four o'clock in the afternoon night. Afternoon night.

Evening. Afternoon, man. Anyway, it's dark in New York at four o'clock in uh december december yeah anyway so um yeah man i've had an interesting life uh since i was a kid my life had been driven by uh pleasing my mother and that had been the my greatest shame space was not being good enough for my mom. I remember the earliest thing I remember as far as that's concerned is a conversation I had with my mother. My brother was born 23 months ahead of me. So from December 16th to January 2nd, there's a one-year difference, right?

And then when we get to January 2nd, there's a two-year difference. So I asked my mother, how come sometimes Ralph is two years older than me? How come sometimes he's one year older than me? And she said, well, because you were the surprise baby, we didn't plan for you. And I took that as I was a mistake. I created that. I took that information and determined that I was a mistake and that I was an inconvenience. And a lot of their behaviors kind of pointed towards me being

inconvenient all the time. So I did my best to please my mother all the time. And if there was ever anything that I was afraid would not please my mother, I hid it. So I spent my entire life lying. I spent my entire life being inauthentic to make sure that if my mother found out, she'd take love away from me. This is the whole thing that I created. And this came from one conversation as a five-year-old, I believe. I think I was five or six. And so this drove my entire life, was trying to please my mother. You know, my brother physically used to beat me up all the time. My brother hated me. And he would tell me, wait till mommy leaves, I'm going to kill you.

And he would beat me up, right? He would beat me up pretty bad. And I wouldn't tell my mother because I didn't want my mother to be upset. Because if she was upset and it was because of me, you know what I'm saying? So this is how my life went, my entire childhood. And my mother is a physician. And she was the first black woman in the world to be the type of physician she is she's a perinatologist so she was you know uh when we when she went to

medical school um she she she was me my brother and my little sister and she was like y'all are too noisy so she got a dormitory at the at the hospital so she would go to the hospital from monday through friday and she would come spend the weekends with us. And this went on for four years. And then she went and did her residency and she was never around. So my father worked, was an x-ray technician and he worked two full-time jobs. So he was never around. So this battle, this whole thing with my brother, you know, and all of this stuff went on behind the eyes of my parents. They didn't see what was going on. And I honestly, you know, I love my mother and I love my father. My father passed in 2000.

I don't think that they knew how to be parents. My mother ran away when she was 16. And my father and her father was not exactly around, you know, in the most fatherly of ways. Her mother was very angry and used to beat on her. There was a lot of physical violence in my mother's side of the family. And I didn't really know my father's side of the family. So there was just this consistent question mark. I spent a lot of time around my mother's side of the family. There was a lot of shaming, a lot of anger, a lot of really crazy stuff. I got into some really weird shit. My brother used

to call me a faggot all the time. And so my mother would always tell me, listen to your brother. He's your older brother. You listen to everything that he tells you. And so I asked her one day, what's a faggot? She's like, well, we don't't use that word but that's a word that people use for men who like men and and I was like okay so my brother would say that all the time and so one time the dog came in and started humping on me he's like look even the dog knows that you're a faggot and so I started conjuring these ideas that maybe he was right and so my cousins uh uh came to me one day and they were like hey let's let's do this stuff in the bed. And so my little cousins.

And so we did all of this weird shit and we got into some sexually weird shit. And these are all boys. And so I was like, well, if they know and the dog knows, I guess I must be gay. And so I had some experimentation around that shit. And it caused me to hide even more. Because what if my mother found out? Everything right? Because what if my mother found out, right? Everything was driven by what if my mother found out. So as I did that, I didn't know how to get out of that cycle of interacting in that way.

So it really kind of drove me down into this space of hiding. And so I got a little older. I started to interact with girls and I was like, man, I'm not, there's no way. I love women, right. I started to interact with girls and I was like, man, I'm not, there's no way. I love women. I love girls. And I got into this really bananas sexual relationship with this one girl. When I used to skateboard, I used to compete. I used to do street skating. I was badass at that shit. lot of things in my life and and so that was one of the things i did i met this girl and she i was 16 she told me that she was 15 but she was 13 and the the the sex that me and this girl had like we would her mother would go to work and we would have sex all day long like all day and it was amazing right and the head game was crazy right she was a young pro this chick's oral sex game was crazy and so um so uh i ended up breaking up with her to to deal with this chick who was very abusive to me and my brother wanted to date that girl

and that girl wanted to date me so i dated her and my brother went and found the girl that i had you know that all all that wild sex with and he had sex with her so she called me up one day and she's like come here I want to tell you something so she calls me over and we're standing outside in the front of the building and she's like do you love me I was like I love you so much and she was like do you do you do you love our sex I was like I love our sex right and she was like i fucked your brother and i was like oh okay she's like are you mad i said no and so she went on to tell me all this stuff and she said do you do you like the way i give you head and i was like i love it and she was like did you ever

stop to wonder why a 13 year old girl could suck your dick the way she does and I said no I never thought about it and she said do you want to know why and I said okay and so she's beautiful she's beautiful. She's a beautiful caramel skin girl. Her mother's this dark, dark, dark, beautiful black woman. And her father was this huge pasty white guy. Wore plaid shirts all the time. Very angry. And she told me that her father hated her mother so much that he would send her mother away on the weekends. And he would invite his friends over and have his friends fuck her and make her suck their dicks.

And so this ruptured me in such a deep way that the sexual pleasure that I had derived from that situation was the greatest pleasure of my life. And so I had all this shame around this great sex gift that I had. The thing that I loved the most in the world had been derived from this dysfunctional situation of this guy having people rape his daughter. And it completely tore me apart and so i started to to do my sexual sexual stuff on the down low i wouldn't have any kind of sexual activity with the women i dated and the women that i dated after that were all abusive to me like they were super abusive and i allowed them to be abusive to me and they wouldn't have sex with me and they wouldn't talk to me and it would just they would burn there was this one girl that would just burn me with shit. And this one chick

scratched me up, like all kinds of stuff. And this was the type of relationships that I got into. But the sex that I wanted to have, I was constantly looking for it on the download. So I would go and I would drive around New York City and I would pay prostitutes for head and I would do all of this crazy shit. And that was my space. That was my dysfunctional space was my sex situation. And so I would go to work. So I went to nursing school. And so when I got to – I was in high school and I messed up on purpose because I wanted some

attention from my parents and they were giving all the attention to my brother so I messed up my grades on purpose I thought high school was relatively easy but I got shitty grades because I wanted attention so I didn't get into anything except community college and so I went to community college and I was like I don't want to do liberal arts. What can I do? And so I took nursing. And I went into nursing because I wanted to be around women. So I was around women all the time. And I love nursing. Nursing is awesome. And that's what drove me to get into nursing.

So nursing is a huge part of what I do right now, the way I've learned to assess human beings and their physiologies and stuff anyway. So for years in the background, I would go to work at the hospital and then I would go out and I would pay for sex or pay for blowjobs or whatever. And this shit went on and on and on and on. And so backtrack right before I graduated from nursing school, there was a girl in my neighborhood that I met, well, that I knew for a long time. And we had sex once and she got pregnant and I have a daughter and my daughter is going to be 30 this year. And so that was another space of shame for me because my mother told me, don't bring no kids home if you're not married. Right. So I brought it. And so it so my my she came to my house and rang the doorbell i told my mother that she was pregnant and my mother was like what's going on and you know throughout the entire time my daughter was growing up my mother was constantly

telling me uh that i wasn't doing right by my kid which which wasn't the truth and uh i i used my mother's metrics of how a father should be. Which she didn't really have. Which she didn't really have solid metrics for what a father should be in the first place. So that's why I was talking about that from the beginning. And so there was a lot that happened with that. And I ended up when my daughter was, I didn't see my daughter until she was two and a half. Because her mother told me until she was two and a half. Because her mother told me that she was going to terminate the pregnancy. And then all this other stuff happened.

And she disappeared. She went to Sacramento. And so I ended up, when my daughter was three, I saw her when she was two and a half. And when my daughter was three, her mother was like, look, take this kid. I'm done. It's your turn. And so long story short with that, her mother was like, look, take this kid. I'm done. It's your turn. And so long story short with that, her mother called me up and was like, look, I raised my five daughters. Come get your kid. And I didn't know where her mother went.

So I went. I got my daughter. And I raised her for a couple of years until her mother came and took her back. And, you know, there was just all this stuff around being a terrible father, being a terrible person, uh, just shame, shame, everything was shame around my entire existence. And, uh, you know, in the meantime, I'm in the ER saving people's lives every night, every night. And I'm, I'm doing my best to put my back into it, bro. Like, like just giving the care that I would want my family to have,

that I would want myself to have. And I'm a kick-ass nurse, bro. Like, I mean, people would come to the hospital and ask for me by name because I was that good. And I ran an ER in New York. I ran Interfaith Medical Center. I know I would have got hurt more if I would have went to the ER. I ran Interfaith Medical Center, you I would have known you were in here. I ran into Faith Medical Center you know and then my

father got ill and he he died of something called amyloidosis took his just took his heart out and this was this was after a lot of time alone after my mother left the situation with him his heart just just went out the window you know his heart broke and um so i took care of my father uh he died in 2000 and nursing was great and the system is terrible and so i kept just like i gotta get out of here man i gotta get out of here i just kept saying that and so I'm also a musician and do hip-hop music right and so in the sidelines I'm touring around the world uh with with an underground hip-hop music scene I'm doing all these shows and so I'm working three months and I'm touring three months and I'm working three months and I'm

touring three months and I'm working three months and I'm touring three months and I'm working three months and I'm touring three months and I'm working three months and I'm touring three months and I'm doing all this stuff and uh I'm I'm you know it's I'm using touring as an excuse to to get out and meet people and have sex with different women right so and uh you know I had gotten married in the interim the woman that I was with was super abusive to me she was was angry, sweet lady, but very angry. Um, she, she hung herself while I was in the house. Yeah. And so, um, you know, she was like, you know, I don't want to live without you, you know, after being abusive and she hung herself and, uh, I married her after that because I was afraid that she was going to kill herself. And so I stayed in that relationship until she left. She took everything. She took all my shit, man. And like, I've had these, these, these poor self-esteem,

these, these things that would trickle down of poor self-esteem. And so, uh, I finally got into a relationship that was awesome. I sabotaged it. And this was the pattern in my life love myself not at all sabotage everything and so uh things got really to a point they came to a head I was in a relationship for about eight years with this woman and she wanted to have kids and I didn't want to have kids and so she started to leave the relationship and things started falling apart i kept saying i gotta get out of here i gotta get out of here and that's when me and cole connected and uh then i broke my back and cole was like you know you should come to this ceremony you know i you know listen the

way you think and i know you'd be awesome in this plant medicine world. And I was like, what is that? She's like, well, you take these plants and you go into the psychedelic realm and you find yourself. I was like, oh, you want me to do some drugs with some hippie white folks, right? I was like, nah, man, I ain't doing that shit. Nah, sueña. I was like, I'm not doing that shit.

And so it's funny. She had asked me again. She had asked me that before I broke my back. And when I broke my back, she was like, yeah, I think you should come do this ceremony. What do you have to lose, right? I was like, I ain't got shit to lose. And I was doing everything that I possibly could to dodge it. I was like, oh, my friend's album release party is that night.

And then the album release party got raided. And so they got canceled and so i went and i had this incredibly opening experience that connected all the dots for me was this with aya no this was with mdma with sassafras was a yeah that's the lightest dose of mdma that they could possibly give me and i was afraid i was scared off my ass i held cole's ribs the entire night and uh he's like just let go literally so so i was having a terrible experience it was the worst experience i'd ever had in my life on mdma right and he's literally the only person i've ever met in the history of my existence and from someone that used to sell ecstasy that's quite a few people um and this was the first time i saw someone have a

terrible experience it was terrible and uh she was like taba don't you just let go i was like okay and i let go and a whole experience changed and i that was the night i realized that i was a control freak i was trying to control everything in my life and and that's when everything came together around honesty is the amount of energy that my whole physiology was putting into controlling everything around me was taxing my body in the worst way. And to the point where it destroyed my back, like my posture was jacked up because I was posturing all the time to provide everybody with this idea of who I thought they should think I was, right? And so who my mother thought I should be, who everybody else thought I should be. And so I was trying to control everything. And when I let go, my whole body just relaxed.

And I'd never experienced anything like that in my life. And so for the next year, for like 12 months, I went to Journey every month for like a year straight. And I had so many openings in the first six months. It was crazy. So many things, all of the studying and the reading and the things that I had been contemplating, the triaging that I had learned from nursing, all of the social interactions I'd learned from doing music and all the different places, the different countries, the different cities and states that I'd been in the world, all of the people that I had spoken to, everything started to come together and it started to

make so much sense. All of the, you know, I had been a student of the human body, man. I love it. I studied the human body and interactions of psychology and all of this stuff. I even studied phrenology to see what that was like. I don't even, what is phrenology? I don't know what that is. Phrenology is like, is a pseudos was the is the idea that different parts of the brain uh are connected to behavior

situations it's it's it's it's it's kind of hokey you dove into everything i dove into all i dove into all of the ologies man and all of these things started to come together when i started to do the work with power plants and psychedelics and theogens and pathogens. All of these things started to come together, man. And just these waves of these huge realizations of all of these dots connecting. And so I started working in that space and Cole was like, man, you know, I'm so glad you did this. I'm like, I'm so glad you brought me into this. I'm so, I'm so grateful for this woman and my life is ridiculous and so the the people that were were facilitating the the groups were like yo can you come to my group because i was helping people in the groups move through

stuff i was helping them navigate their spaces because i because my triage knowledge you know yeah plus yeah nurse of 28 years if someone thinks they're having a reaction he can sit there and talk to him he'd like he would triage anyone. And then it's really emotional things coming up, not a reaction to a plant. Yeah. And I mean, the way I worked with people in the hospital situation, I believe I was the most patient person with all those people in the world. I would talk to all of the homeless people. And when I was a kid, so to backtrack, when I was in the 80s, crack ravaged New York, right? Crack was horrible. And I would sneak out my house in the middle of the night and I would go hang out at crack houses and talk to crackheads because I wanted to know what was going on with them and why they were doing crack.

I didn't do any substances until that night that I did this with Cole. And I was what? That was seven years ago, right? Seven or eight. Yeah, so he's already in his 40s before he even tried his first. Yeah. So before I even tried any kind of substance. Well, I tried marijuana when I was 36.

That was the first time. The first time I had alcohol. First time I had alcohol, I was 25 because I was a nurse when I was 20. So, you know, there's so many things that came together, man. And to be able to navigate that space and help people navigate that space when they're in psychedelics and to help people navigate that space outside of psychedelics, man, has been awesome. And so bringing all of this stuff around and seeing how shame affects the physiology, how being dishonest and not authentic with yourself affects your physiology is how I got to this. This is how I got to this point. And every part of my story is so vital and pinnacle. And this is what we've been doing with people too, is helping them to see that everything that they've been through, be it happy stuff or sad stuff,

suffering stuff or easy stuff, it all builds who we are in this moment right now. Now, can you ride the now in a space of awareness? And once all that awareness came together, man, it was awesome. And this is what we help people to do to become aware of themselves, man, on such a deep, deep level, just peeling those layers back to see who you are, what you want, and are you connected to the things that you really want to be connected to, man? And that's where my passion lies. And that's how I got here. I love it. Yeah. It's making me think, I know I've beat this drum already on the podcast quite a few times, but when I did 30 Grams of Penis Envy, one of the things that I came to understand and coming out of that was every single thing that I've done that I picture synchronicity, like the synchronicity as Carl Jung talks about is something that's so it's so obvious

you understand that there is something greater working on your behalf that syncs you up with the right people at the exact right moment the divine timing whatever you want to call it but what I was seeing in the 30 grams was everything was synchronicity whether I was aware of it or not you know it's only the stuff that's so blunt and so in your face that you're like aha oh yeah time yeah okay that makes sense that's a synch so in your face that you're like, aha. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. That's a synchronicity. Let me point at that and say that's a synchronicity, but it's all synchronistic. It's all something that's moving you and guiding you in a way for your own development, whether that's for your highest good or that's the soul's development,

whatever you want to call that and language that. There is a guiding force and it is an orchestra that is this whole thing and it's playing there's there's songs and instruments we don't even hear they're so far away from us but it's all contributing to that orchestra that is our life yeah yeah it's our existence man when i look at every time i look out out this yard out this window and i see how many things are happening at the same time without our awareness. It's all building everything. When we all breathe, we all cause the air to move. It affects the weather. It affects everything. If we were to hang a sheet up in this room and we were to blow on it, each one of us,

it might make a little ripple. But if we had 10 people in this room blowing on that sheet, it would make the sheet move. And when you understand that when we do things together from a space of awareness, that's how we can nudge this planet. We can nudge this universe from a place of awareness. All of the things that are happening outside without our awareness are still contributing to what we are right now. Look at this whole situation with the coronavirus, with the COVID-19. All of this is contributing, whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not, whether we like it or not, on a global scale. And how is that global scale affecting the solar system? And how is the solar system affecting the galaxy? All of this stuff is intertwined and interwoven, whether we

realize it or not. Well, and the imprint of that on all the generations to come. Just like any other world event, whether it was the Holocaust, World War II, those create impressions in the children and even the children that have not been born yet. This is something we've been talking about in great detail is the mindfulness that if we are not consciously aware right now of the impact on kids that are hearing about China, China is becoming the enemy in just like how I developed my beliefs as a child. It wasn't because anyone told me those things. It was what I gathered from my environment. And it's that question, are you sitting down with your kids? What is their understanding of what's going on right now? Otherwise, they're creating their discriminations

and their ways of being and their thought processes. And also the idea that proximity could be dangerous, where it's just, oh, well, no, we have to have social distancing. When we aren't consciously aware of what we're creating, we are subconsciously creating. And then we're going to have to deconstruct all of this again. So I think the difference five years from now of who is in this paradigm shift and enjoying it are the ones that are consciously aware of what they're creating right now. Not staying in the survival energy of I need to get through this

and through the other side and then I'll figure it out. This is the practice of all of the work. This is the practice that Paul Cech would talk about. This is the practice that we talk about, and I'm sure you talk about. By consciously creating in the chaos right now, finding peace in this, you'll carry the rest of your life. All of the other traumas and tragedies have been the practice up until now. With all of this chaos now, I've been very calm. That doesn't mean I haven't still had clients dealing with suicide or psychosis or, you know, like really extreme PTSD impacts as a result. I am not attaching myself to it. And I'm bringing presence to the fact of, like I went out the other day, I came back

with a little bit of a headache because I can feel everyone's thinking. I can feel all of the appraisals and people walking eight feet away from you at the grocery store or whatever. And making sure that my breathing and diet, you know, what I'm putting into my body matters more now than ever for me. And I've worked way too hard to go back into a subconscious place of performance that got me fibromyalgia before, that got me arthritis before. And so, you know, I've got a lot of friends kicking back, throwing back a bottle of wine every day like they're on vacation. And not only does it tax your immune system, that is a subconscious programming of stagnation.

Like I'm just going to sit down and do nothing. Consciously stopping and doing nothing is powerful. The choice of stillness. Difference between numbing and being. Yes. And those are huge fucking differences. Huge differences. Rest and relaxation are not the same. Even all the people that are home right now because they can't work, they might be resting. They're not relaxing. They're still in their head. The anxiety and the what ifs, no one knows what's going to happen. And we've got some

really smart people that have some ideas. The truth is, the more you can bring to the present, where am I? What can I do today for myself, for my physical health, for my mental health, for my spiritual health? And really, this is about designing the blueprint of what you want your life to come from here. Anyone that's hit rock bottom knows that's also where freedom comes when you're no longer attached to anything because you have nothing left to lose. This is an opportunity to get proactive, to get excited, to get this feeling of wonder, this feeling of what's possible if I could play like a kid. Like, wow, let me try this.

I've been thinking about doing this and hey, I don't have any money coming in anyway. So why not see? You know, why not see what could really be possible? And I think that that childlike curiosity is the new paradigm shift. It's that opportunity to play for creation versus the hypervigilance of financial gain. It's actually trusting that through play, you can be

abundant in all energies, which includes financial abundance. I love that. You touched on so many things there. Even talking about what our kids learn with China as the new enemy, and there's always an enemy. Charles Eisenstein, who I mentioned in the last podcast with Duncan Trussell, really illuminates that old model of force, and how there's always an other, and the other is the enemy, and the enemy creates separation and distance, right? And if we always have that, we're never, we're not practicing radical inclusion like they do at Burning Man. We're not thinking through the lens of wholeness, that everyone on this planet is a member of humanity and every being on this planet is conscious. And if you look through the lens of Native Americans and animism, and it's something that I've talked about before, you don't have to

call it gods or gods or any of that. And if you do that's fine too but it's it's all animated from the same substance we are whatever soul i have is in everything it's in the trees it's in ayahuasca it's in all of it right and to understand and look through that lens is not separate but interconnected interbeing interdependent and interdependent yeah yeah and and some key factors that go along with that are how important touch is, how important proximity is, how important gatherings are, you know, like concerts and festivals and things like Burning Man and, you know, and ceremony, you know, where we all share space. I've had some brilliant solo journeys. Brilliant. But if I was to compare them to all the times where I've had really powerful group ceremonies with ayahuasca and things like that, I mean, the group far outweighs the solo, just in terms of really understanding that shared experience. One of the downloads I had, and I don't want to diverge too much, but the second journey I did with ayahuasca, this kid was

right next to me. He was really young. He was like eight years old or something like that. And Tasha always corrects me on his age, but he was fucking young. And he was bawling his eyes out and he only spoke Spanish. He was a little Mexican kid. And I was like, fuck, this kid's going to pull me out of my ceremony. I'm not going to be able to dive deep. I'm not going to have any visions because he's like, I mean, an elbow's distance from me and he's wailing. And I turned to him and immediately I had the intuition of, oh, maybe I can send him some love and he'll calm down. Still focused on myself, like maybe if I send him some love, I'll get this sorted and I can get back to me. And when I did that, I leaned, I turned to my right side on my right shoulder and I just started to breathe for him.

And his breathing started to slow and he was still crying and I immediately knew he didn't have a dad and it just hit me like a wave you know I mean it touched me obviously this was fucking 10 years ago and I can still feel it and um but it brought me to that greater awareness of it's not my ceremony. It's our ceremony. And the ceremony of life is the exact same. All these things parallel from the microcosm of the ceremony in one night to the experience of the whole. And this is our ceremony on this planet. And the planet itself is conscious. And when we're out of alignment with the harmony of

how we live with the earth we're going to see more than one bug we're going to see more than one natural disaster we're going to see more than one event that causes us to pause and reflect and bring us all together so we can start to make change that matters yeah so eloquent man yeah you said it though right it's like how often someone will go to a journey and all i hear them say afterwards is how someone else ruined their journey basically and that's usually where the question comes back to so what made it yours versus theirs you know this right now is the opportunity to practice exactly what you're talking about. When you're at the grocery store and someone is being short or cutting you off or stealing the last roll of

toilet paper or whatever, taking that moment to send them love. They're in a state of panic and fear. They're living in that shit right now. And that's not where I'm at. With all the stuff that I've overcome, I'm grateful that I've been positioned for this with ease quite a few times already. And what this virus brings is there was a shaman in the jungle, an ayahuasquero in Peru that told a friend of mine she went down when she had cancer. And he made a statement that to me rolls into what's going on now. He actually said to her, because she said, if I come down there, is it going to cure my cancer? And her name is Brenda. She shares about it in her book. She's amazing. She had breast cancer.

And she wanted that certainty, you know, because it's scary, the idea of going down to the jungle. And he said, Brenda, not everyone who heals from cancer survives it. That's what I feel is with this virus right now. How do you want to be healed through this process? What presence are you willing to bring to it? It does not negate or downplay any lives lost or impacted by it in the slightest. And our life has been fraught in this world since the beginning of time with loss and destruction and war. Let's consider, okay, with all this isolation, where is our crime and death from war at currently? Because we may still be focused on the numbers of COVID when the numbers from war could be in

the tens of thousands being saved. We don't know. And this is the opportunity to slow down. This is the opportunity to know that if we're in fear, it's because we are seeing a very limited perspective through very specific lens that comes from our past and makes it very difficult to foresee the future. And anytime I catch myself in a strong fear space or anger, it's like, what am I protecting? And if I go deep into what am I protecting that's triggering this and work with that, then I can go back to being of service to help other people to connect to that. That doesn't change whether we should be social distancing or not. This is how we had to respond with the current situation. This was necessary. And there are people I've continued

to see during this isolation because I trust how they take care of their body. I trust they don't have any immunocompromised people in their life. They're not going to the store because they're having it delivered. We also have an ecosystem that we've created of people that even if someone was to get sick, we're not even going to the hospital because we know how to self-treat. Because we've learned about our bodies and the physiology and the medications. And you know what I mean? Like this in a perfect world, this is the way that our systems would be created where we're not reliant on government to save us. We're not reliant for them to mandate or dictate what actions should be taken because we have been through enough to foresee and we have people

that can foresee. And right now, the only means that people are using is shame to get others to adhere to what they believe is the right way to handle it. And shame, as it continues, because it will continue through humanity, but if there was one thing I was going to leave in this pandemic, it would be shame for someone to explore, leaving that behind. Yeah. Shame is, I like to, I've been doing some writing on shame and some programming that we're going to deliver around shame. And it's something that we've worked deeply to help people really just observe in themselves and how deeply embedded it is in every aspect of our societies, all of the societies on this planet. And we work from the notion that shame is the idea or the belief that something is wrong with you or someone else. And it's embedded in everything.

It's embedded in how we speak. If you're not good, you don't go to heaven. So if you're not good, something's wrong with you. If you do this, this happens. If you're this way, this happens. If one leg is shorter than the other, you're broken. So something's wrong with you. The idea that something is wrong with you and it's embedded in everything. It's so insidious and it causes the physiology to hide. And you have shame, you have this idea

that something's wrong with you. And if something's wrong with you, there can be an isolation from the drive, right? And that isolation, you were just saying a few minutes ago that, you know, that connection, that physical proximity is important. So if we get cast out from the tribe, we degrade physically. So we hide and that's dishonesty. And it's not necessarily lying, but we're not showing up fully. And that's what I was talking about earlier, the full expression of the self, that honesty of the self, how you are and how you are accepted without being shut out or shut away. And that is the expression of your genes. That is the expression of your genes on a molecular level. And then it goes down below that to the subatomic level. And from that space of

dishonesty, we hide and then we're lonely lonely and we can be with people and not be authentic and still be lonely because we can't show ourselves this is why people come out of the closet with all kinds of stuff because they're finally like fuck it you know this is me you take me as i am and done and and so you know that that dishonesty leads to to loneliness and loneliness leads to what we call untoward stress which which is stress that's unnecessary for the body, and it's dysfunctional for the body. It leads to stress in all sorts of ways. That stress leads to the physical degradation of the human organism because how long can you hold that posture up? How long can you hold the hiding?

How long can you do all of that stuff? How long can you thwart your full genetic expression of yourself? And this is the cascade of the shame cycle. And it's every single person that we've worked with has fallen into this space. And as we unravel the shame cycle with people, their bodies start to snap right into place. Vitality. Everything changes. So we identify three energies of evolution that a person goes through when they first wake up, we'll say. And so the

world is going through a snake phase. A lot of our mentors, teachers, and just time has been spent in Peru. And so in the Andean cross and anyone that's been to Peru or just South America in general, there's the snake, the puma, and the condor. So for us, snake energy is that first transformational process of shedding the skin, the stories that didn't serve you, the identities, the beliefs. Now, when you're in a snake energy of evolution, it's beautiful and it's really overwhelming because you're looking like, you know, you finally realize that you're in the grass. You finally realize that you're on the ground and your whole life you've been saying you want to fly and now you realize you're farther than ever from flying. It's not linear, the snake energy, you know, it's that back and forth figuring things out.

You can't go that far of distances. You have to kind of stay when you're first going through this transformational process. And this next energy of evolution is the Puma energy. That's when now you're starting to get that confidence, the focus. You know what you want, or at least you know what you're going after, what you want to pursue. When you're in a healthy Puma energy, it's empowering and there's a lot of leadership. But there is a wounded puma energy. And that's

where a lot of CEO high performance people are functioning from because they, the need to hunt is because they know they'll starve otherwise. They have to keep their claws sharpened and they're more reactive if other animals come around or are a threat or they perceive a threat, then they're dangerous. So what we see with everything that's happening currently with the collapse of a lot of industries, if people go back into that wounded puma energy because they are still trying to defend and not let go of some things, it's going to create health crashes. So what we're seeing is people are now fighting to create, right? They are stepping into a battle to create for humanity, but it is still being driven by the old wounds. I have to get this done. I have responsibility

that I'm carrying on my shoulders versus an energy of honor. Like I'm honored that I get to because I can is very different. There's a gratitude to that versus an obligation. Obligation wreaks havoc on the body. And that's something that we see constantly with entrepreneurs. And so what we're inviting, and this has been prophesied anyway, and we started talking about this last year, with Native Americans of the North and the South, they've been saying this is the age of the eagle and the condor. So eagle is North America, the condor is South America. And they've said that we'll reach peace when these two meet again. And so for us, we are the North Americans taking people to Peru to 19,000 feet, 20,000 feet when they fly. Because they're so heavy, they rely on the winds to carry them. They are the only, or some of the

only birds of prey that are high up in the heavens like that and stop and eat on the earth. So they ground. So they're known for bringing the messengers and messages, the messages from heaven to earth. So for us, that's the thought leaders, the innovators, the ones that are getting that high level perspective and no longer have to go through trauma and drama for transformation. They have the foresight and the perspective to be like, nope, I can see that coming. They have that not only belief and experience, but that intuitive sense, which can only come by evolving through all three stages. You need the grounding of the snake and the shedding of the old ideas and beliefs. You need the agility, focus the drive the protection of that puma energy the thing is now we have the opportunity for the condor which is sustainability long distances flexibility

but you're carried by the wind you still have the ramp ups and the landings then you get to coast you get to see you get to view and you don't have to hunt the food will be there you see the opportunity and you're like oh having buffalo today perfect well they don't have buffalo in peru but you get the idea well maybe they get a buffalo farm i don't know it's possible and so this is what i see and this is what excites me with where we are now this is this is the age of the condor all that you know all of us that have been doing the deep self-work the community work the humanity work of now knowing that through collaboration and co-creation we have everything that we need just between who you know and we know there isn't anything that couldn't be done for anything because money is

not the only currency on this planet. You know, like you could call us and, and request anything. If it's within our power, it's done. And the community that we've built is the greatest currency on this planet that will never change with finance. And this is our opportunity to fortify that structure from this base level, creating a foundation to build this new life on. So for anyone listening, what foundation are you pouring right now? Where's the intention? How big do you want to build it? If you don't know what you want to build, and you pour a slab of concrete that's 20 by 20, you can only build so high. This is the opportunity, not a remodel anymore.

This is a teardown so that we can fully create something even more expansive than anyone imagined before. Yeah, and that making space for the new is really important. And, you know, people, the reframe around death is something that we've been working on too. People have to allow people to die. And we have to make room. I mean, right now we are at 7.5 billion people. And we're slated. Well, I'm not sure if it's changed in the past couple of weeks.

But we're slated to hit 8 billion in the next 20 years. That's 500 million new lives on this planet in 20 years. That's a lot. And so we've got to be able to honor the cycle of life moving through, especially, you know, the cycle of life of people who aren't equipped to maintain and move into the next echelon of existence. When you look at animals, when you look at, well, they die and, you know, there's no fighting death. They allow themselves to die and we move into these new echelons and we've got to see, we've got to see this life and death cycle as, as, as functional. And I believe also, you know, speaking about death,

um, the way we manage our, our, uh, our humans that have passed in, you know, in, from this, from this, this life cycle, we put them in boxes, we embalm them and we bury passed in you know in from this from this this life cycle we put them in boxes we embalm them and we bury them in the ground in ways that they can't be reabsorbed by the planet that's got to stop we are we are we are utilizing resources at an alarming rate and we're not giving it back and so when we see this and we have this consideration for for for humanity moving forward with all of the things that Cole was talking about with the three energies and really evolving as a race of beings who are aware and we consider all of these things we don't have to do it each person doesn't have to consider everything but as a unit we consider all these things man there's nothing that we don't have there's nothing that we need

we have everything that we need right here and right now and that's where this stuff has to shift man we've got to really start seeing that stuff yeah togetherness interconnected interbeing interdependent and it isn't it's an abundant world it's an abundant earth an abundant universe you know there's there's there's a lot that needs fixing but i think um there's a lot of hope as well there's a lot of hope because it you know you look no further. And look, I've listened to fucking doomsday predictors and conspiracy theorists. I listen to all of it.

I love all of it. All of it. I was listening to David Icke on London Real. I don't know if you guys caught that one. He's been a conspiracy theorist and New World Order type guy for 30 plus years. I mean, he mentioned that he's been doing it for 30 years, probably 100 times.

But it's a pretty doom and gloom, hellish, totalitarianistic society that he's seeing come. And it's funny because as I allow my awareness to picture that world, I've noticed that in our neighborhood, which is a brand new community and it's all solar, every fucking light post in the street has a camera on it and i was like oh okay interesting right and then there's a lot of talk around you know government implementing mandatory gps on everyone's phones so they can figure out who's gathering in more than 10 and all this stuff you know and then do they ever roll that back no look at the patriot act you know a lot of these ways that we can focus on what the possibilities are of the negative but the truth is that locks us into fear that locks us into oh

we don't want this right and it's the same thing for our bodies if you say i don't want to be fat all the time what are you going to be yeah fat that's what you focused on right you have to focus on the light and you have to focus on the world we want to create. And I think David does a beautiful job of doing that in the end because all of this fear is driven around death. What is the control mechanism? We want to protect you by not letting you die. And we don't want the elderly to die and we don't want the vulnerable to die. And that's all true. We don't want them to die.

But a lot of people, actually, everybody is going to die. So if we can look at that differently, then we can begin to understand that there shouldn't be fear around that. Yeah, I want to live and I want to live well, but I can't live well if I'm in a state of fear and I can't fully live if I'm in a state of fear around death. I have to embrace that and understand that. And that's one of the beautiful things that the plants can give us or any entheogen is the preemptive death.

It's the death of the body and understanding you are something that lives on past that. And the releasing of the attachment, you know, because just like you were just stating, it's not about focusing on what you don't want, right? We are focused on not wanting people to die versus supporting them living like actually creating a life and creating an environment where viruses can't proliferate and internally and externally and so there is a huge focus of not going to hell versus getting into heaven right and so it's like it's built into every doctrine as man that we have, the avoidance. One of the first things I learned when I first got my motorcycle license, that they teach you in class is don't look at the object in the road you want to avoid.

Look away from it. So if there's an object in the road, don't look at the object. Look where you want the bike to go because the bike will follow your eyes and your shoulders. So point where you want to go. And that was so powerful to me because they were like, if you're on a street and you see a tree, don't look at the tree. That's why you see little kids on a bicycle, right? The first learning to ride, they start looking at that, you know, the curb, the mailbox, what do they do? Nail it. Because that's where the attention goes. That's where the energy flows to. So it's not the avoidance of the fact of it being real. It's not saying

don't look at it. It doesn't exist. But if you focus on, but I don't want to die versus expanding the experience of living, then every moment of that is what you fully get to embody versus the fear of i don't want to die yeah our whole health care industry is driven by the idea that you're going to die and we're going to protect you from death the amount of people that i've taken care of in in hospitals that i've worked at 12 different hospitals in New York City. I also did home health care. I did a lot of shit in nursing. And some of the most disheartening things were when people would come in from the nursing

homes and we would call them gomers, right? Because they're going, man. And they would be twisted up into these pretzels. They'd have tracheostomy. They'd be on a vent or not. And they had bed sores. And they, you know, no quality of life. But we're pumping them full of antibiotics. We're giving them tube feeds through their stomach. And we're just keeping them alive. And the health bills are just ramping up. And this is a lot of people, a lot of people this way.

And they're in nursing homes and it's just like this is keeping people alive. And the family members will come in and they'll be like, I'm not going to let my mother die. We're like, listen, you could do a do not resuscitate and let this person move on or whatever, but they won't let go. People will not let go. And this is dysfunctional, man. If you're not living, then you're just dying. Well, and it lacks compassion. It lacks so many things because it's staying on the selfishness of not wanting to let something go. Yeah. This is something that most people, lay people, do not ever get to see the type of shit that we see in a hospital. And you ask any

nurse that's worked on a med-surg unit, the type of stuff that they've had to deal with, it's frighteningly disturbing. The stuff that we pump into people, the amount of antibiotics we give to people, the amount of medications that we're pumping in through tubes in people's bodies. It's crazy. Our elderly population is being dragged out for financial reasons and it's fucked up. You know, it's one of the reasons I had to get out of nursing, man. I just saw so many things that were just dysfunctional. I gave so many medications to people that it was just like, why are we doing this? You know, and, uh, you know, this, this, these, our ideas around death and illness are dysfunctional we are constantly fighting to stop people from dying and nobody's living man we've got to live

bro and that's what that's why you know cole and i that's why we do what we do man it's because we want to show people how to live and that's why when when people come to us they're like oh you can't be like you are on facebook yep all the time because it doesn't mean we don't have the flux of of emotions it's that we know how to experience and fully embrace emotions and be with them and then shift them you know it's well that's a whole other topic but the truth of where we are now is the opportunity for those to really see what are you struggling to let go of? The nice car that you just finally earned, quote unquote, you finally did enough hard work to deserve or to rationalize paying for? Where are you putting your attention? Where do you want to put your attention?

Where do you want to be two years from now when this part of this has shifted? Because we're still, this isn't going to be one day where it's just over. They're going to be like, all right, guys, great job, great work team, everyone back to your lives, you know. It's never going to go back to the way that it was, any more than it did after 9-11, any more than it did after World War II. It's changed. So what are you going to do about it? I love it. Where can people find you guys? You got a podcast, you're on the gram. All of the aboves. Our podcast is Mentor in the Mirror. And it's really focused on self-empowerment, the questions to ask yourself. We tell people all the time, we're not shaman, we're not gurus. We're here to reflect

what you are giving off from our perception for a person to see. And so the guests that we bring on and the conversations that we have are similar to like we had today. Some of them are the hard truths, you know? And it's still always based around what can you do? What can you explore? What questions can you ask? So mentor on the mirrors on all podcast apps locations. Then Instagram, Tahkole, T-A-H-K-O-L-E. If people are really looking to connect with more like thought leader, innovator, we're

taking it offline. And we're doing, if you text OPTIMIZE to 22999, we're going to be doing conference calls of what's really going on in your industry. How can we support each other? Because with how much on Facebook and through Google, there's so many things taken down that are censored. We need to have more conversation out of. So if you're interested in entering those conversations, then that's the place to do it. Once you enter the text, you can message directly back to us too.

And we're looking to connect. If you feel like you're a victim, if you feel like you are struggling, we're not your people. We can direct you for sure. If you feel like you're a victim, if you feel like you are struggling, we're not your people. We can direct you for sure. We're looking for that condor energy, people that have been in high roles of leadership that are looking now, how do I create with more freedom and flow with how I create this time around while considering all of my priorities instead of tripping, you know, or stumbling all the way into one just to cause a compromise in another one. I love it. Yes. She said it all. I don't need to say that's it. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, man, thank you so much for having us and, uh, taking

the time, uh, to, to bring us on and, us on and to discuss these things that are always ruminating for us that we're looking to connect people with, man. And thank you so much for the amazing work that you do, that you have done on and for yourself and your family and the people around you. And what you've inspired for us, you know, after our breakfast conversation, Taga to go expand some of his lenses and experiences um so we'll come back another time and talk about open relationships a whole other conversation for sure community building well i love you both thank you guys for being on the podcast incredible yeah thank you thank you guys for listening to today's episode with Ta and Cole

Witte I hope you guys enjoyed it let me know what you think at Living With The Kingsburys also visit my website kingsboo.com we are taking open enrollment for Fit For Service there as well as aubreymarcus.com where you can sign up for Fit For Service and of course if you want more dialed in one on one coaching

you can check out my application for the inner circle thank you guys for tuning in and I'll see you in a week