Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #159 Aleks Rybchinskiy and Sara Gustafson

Episode Date: June 10, 2020

Check out https://primalfusionhealth.com/e3/kyle/ for a free gift and more information on Aleks and Sara's coaching!    Help support the podcast by visiting our sponsors: Check out the best pre during and post workout |  drinkhydrant.com/kyle and enter the promo code KYLE      Check out Dry Farm Wines and get a bottle for a penny | DryFarmWines.com/Kyle   Ancestral Supplements - Grass-Fed Colostrum  https://ancestralsupplements.com Use codeword KING10  for 10% off / Only Valid through Shopify Option   OneFarm Formally (Waayb CBD) www.onefarm.com/kyle (Get 15% off everything using code word KYLE at checkout)   Get $100 off the Chek Institute’s Holistic Lifestyle Coach Level 1 online course by using KKP100 at checkout |  https://chekinstitute.com/hlc1online/   Connect with Kyle Kingsbury on: Instagram | https://bit.ly/3asW9Vm   Subscribe to the Kyle Kingsbury Podcast Itunes | https://apple.co/2P0GEJu Stitcher | https://bit.ly/2DzUSyp Spotify | https://spoti.fi/2ybfVTY IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/2Ib3HCg Google Play Music | https://bit.ly/2HPdhKY  

Welcome to today's show. We've got two of my good friends, Alex Rubchinski and Sarah Gustafson, who are soon to be married. Very exciting. They were going to actually be married and then quarantine. Well, it fucked up a lot of things, but it definitely fucked up their wedding plans. So that got pushed back a bit. I first met Alex right when I got to Austin and started working on it. There was a lot of people that were introducing me to, and I think some word got back to him. They're like, hey, there's a big fan of Paul Cech's in the building. You should meet him. He's working here now. He used to fight in the UFC, that kind of shit. That's what Alex had heard. And then I had heard that there was a C Czech practitioner in the building. And I was like, no shit. I got to get some work done. And we ended

up hooking up and working with each other. Alex is doing jujitsu as well at 10th Planet and lots of cool synchronicities. And we've become really close friends after the last three years. Sarah, his partner, has been an amazing teacher and amazing friend to myself and my wife, Natasha. They've got a beautiful family and we've just learned so much from them. I was like, hey, you guys are rocking and rolling. You got your online business going. Let's get you on the podcast. Let's discuss a wealth of your knowledge and share it.

So lots of cool stuff going on. Stay tuned at the end. I'll be talking about what they're doing online right now. So if you're interested in working with them as coaches, they have some great offerings for people as most people have transitioned to online communities. These guys have a lot of wisdom. They've taken many of Czech's courses through the Czech Institute and have leveled up and continue to expand upon those, including everything we talk about today and more. But we take a deeper dive into archetypes today, which is really cool, especially in response to relationships. I've had various experts on the

show when it comes to relationships. Some talked about polyamory or different forms of relationship, different forms of communication. But I think it's a really cool way to look at relationships through the lens of archetypes and through the lens of how we grow from boyhood to manhood, from girlhood to womanhood and step into our wild selves. So lots of interesting stuff today here on the show. Once again, stay tuned at the end. They're doing a discount for all the listeners over at primalfusionhealth.com slash Kyle. I'll link to that in the show notes and talk a bit more about it at the end. But here we go. Check out these sponsors because they really do make this show possible.

This episode is brought to you by Grass-Fed Intestines with Tripe by Ancestral Supplements. Ancestral Supp makes New Zealand source nose, the tail organ meats, bone marrow, and intestines in simple, convenient gelatin capsules. According to the great John fire, lame deer,

by the way, I'm, this is a fucking rad synchronicity. I'm reading the book, lame deer seeker visions right now. And if you're into this kind of stuff, I cannot recommend this book enough. It is absolutely phenomenal. One of the best books I've ever read on Native American wisdom.

So according to the great John Fire Lame Deer, the eating of guts evolved into a contest. Quote, in the old days, we used to eat the guts of the buffalo making a contest of it. Two fellows getting a hold of a long piece of intestine from opposite ends started chewing towards the middle, seeing who can get there first. That's eating. Those buffalo guts full of half fermented, half digested grass and herbs. You didn't need any pills and vitamins when you swallowed those. End quote. Intestines, stomach, tripe, and other gelatinous parts of the animal provided concentrated amounts of connective tissue, undenatured collagen, probiotics, and other gut specific proteins that are now absent from the modern diet.

Visit AncestralSupplements.com and see what they can do for you. And if you punch in code word KING10 at checkout, you're going to get 10% off everything in the store. Ancestral Supplements putting back in what the modern world has left out. We are also brought to you today by Hydrant. Top performance in business and sports often attribute their success to their morning routine, whether it's waking up early, setting their goals for the day, exercise, meditation, fill in the blank, but not everyone has the time to do it all.

With Hydrant, you can jumpstart your mornings. Did you know that 75% of us are walking around everyday life chronically dehydrated? We are suffering needlessly from frequent headaches, energy slumps, and poor focus, and it doesn't have to be that way. These guys are phenomenal. They've got rapid hydration mixes that has four essential electrolytes that your body needs, sodium, potassium, magnesium, and zinc. The precise blend of electrolytes found in their mix, helps your body hydrate quickly and stay hydrated all day. And it's backed by research. This formula was developed by an Oxford scientist

to provide perfectly balanced, efficient hydration. There's no synthetic colors, stevia, or artificial sweeteners. The formula is vegan, and you can choose between three different flavor packs or a variety pack. Hydrate starts at just a buck a packet for a 30-day supply, and you save even more with a monthly subscription. And for 25% off your first order, go to drinkhydrant.com slash Kyle, or enter promo word KYLE in all caps at checkout. That's drinkhydrant.com slash Kyle, and enter promo code Kyle, all caps for 25% off your first order.

These guys are phenomenal. One of the ways I've transitioned off of coffee is by using their product. And I don't use it daily, but certainly it's one of my absolute favorite pre-workouts. These guys do a lot. So we've had some questions. Why does Hydrant contain a little bit of sugar in it? Function first, taste second. Sugar activates the sodium glucose co-transport mechanism within your body,

essentially working as a molecular pump in your gut. When the pump is activated, aka when sugar is present, your cell's absorption rate of electrolytes and water is sped up by helping you hydrate faster. Products without sugar are unable to take advantage of this effect. So how much sugar is good and how much is bad? I think it's about four grams or six grams per packet, which according to the keto gains guy who Rob Wolf has had on, anything under 10 grams is fine. And actually, if you are on a ketogenic diet and you go to lift weights, having about 10 grams is actually the perfect number to get you to still have glycolytic output.

So high intensity intervals, if you're ketogenic or if you're carnivore, it's definitely the way to go. And it's not going to kick you out of ketosis. So lots of good stuff there. Be sure to check out our family wines at dryfarmwines.com. If you want to get a penny off. And as always, remember, One Farm. One Farm is the very best in CBD. It's one of the best hemp products on the planet. They are USDA certified organic. We know how important that

is for the planet at this time, but it's so important for us as well. It heals the soil, and as above, so below, that helps our microbiome. They are full spectrum, absolutely essential when it comes to CBD and any other hemp products that we get it just the way nature intended with every single alkaloid, every single cannabinoid, and every single terpene that we could possibly get in there. All of that's there with nothing else. They use 100% CO2 extraction, and the flavoring of their tinctures is phenomenal. They use an MCT oil base. Cinnamon's my favorite. Bear absolutely loves it.

The lemon's good. They have an unflavored and they've got a phenomenal selection of night creams and facial serums for the misses or for any other ladies that are in your life that you want to really be able to help them look and feel their best and stay young. Check it all out at onefarm.com slash Kyle and you'll get 15% off your entire order. That's one farm dot com slash Kyle, and that's 15% off everything there. Very cool. So happy to have Alex and Sarah on the show. Let me know what you think on the gram over at living with the Kingsbury's. My little my little brunch snack here, which we might see on video here. No, no, no worries about it for the YouTubers.

Alex and Sarah, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you guys. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. It's awesome to be here. Well, we are, I think I met Alex first here at Onnit two and a half, maybe three years ago. And you were the first person that I really i was like i was like fuck yeah i gotta work with that guy because obviously i'd been it's but this is this predates getting to meet paul check who's you know been on the show more than anyone else and will likely continue to be that person until the day he dies and um somebody was telling me like oh we actually

have like a check practitioner here and i was like wait wait in the house that on it and somebody was telling me like, oh, we actually have like a Czech practitioner here. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, in-house? That on it? And I was like, hell yeah, this is awesome. And so we had done some work together. We worked on inch crawls and some of the different mechanics of early childhood development. And we can dive into that and why that's important.

Obviously we have a baby on the way. So that's something I definitely want to pay attention to. And then got to meet your amazing fiance, who is also incredibly well-versed. And I, just from our conversations and hanging out as friends, really got to understand you better. But it was a podcast that I'll link to in the show notes that you did recently with Paul that fucking blew my mind. Absolutely blew my mind. And I was like, all right, we're getting them on the podcast. You guys are also doing online coaching amidst the COVID pandemic. We will call it that because that's the way it's labeled. Not necessarily what I believe, but

it is what it's been labeled. So we can call it that. And obviously you guys have, because of that and a lot of people having to shift a lot of their work with clients to online formats, and we're going to dive into all that stuff, what you guys are offering, your knowledge base. But as we do on this show with everyone is we start from the beginning, as far back as you want to go. And we can just take this one at a time and really talk about what led you guys to become the health and wellness professionals that you are today. So Sarah, let's start with you. Let's lead with the divine feminine and get into your backstory

because I think if there's one common trait amongst people who really push themselves to be the best in any industry. There is likely some set of crisis that is the birthplace for a deep desire and yearning to learn and grow. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there are several firewalks that I had to go through to get where I am. And I'm going to be 40 on Sunday. So my life is sort of divided up by these fireworks. And so my life is littered with several births and rebirths, if you could say, and I've got quite a colored past. It would start with, one, I was a very sick kid, and I missed out on my whole childhood. So you could say I was destined to do what I do now, but I ignored that most of my life. I was always trying to keep up with the pack, and I was a people pleaser. I wanted to be the best

and I was the youngest of four. And so I was always too little for this, too dumb for that. And being sick, I was always trying to catch up with everything. And I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't strong enough. And so every time I was bringing my head above water, I was overachieving to get to where as smart as my sister, as strong as my brother, as talented as my other sister, et cetera. all of these different characters in my psyche that led me into being in college for 12 years, going from one major to another to another and one career to another to another. So I started out in government. I worked on Capitol Hill for a few years, and I worked on political campaigns for a while. And then I went into venture capital, and I worked in D.C. for some while. And then I went into venture capital and I worked in DC for some time. And then I got married pretty young and I was a young mommy and that was very stressful. It was

the wrong marriage and moved back to Texas. And that's when I started getting really into social justice and went back to college again and studied criminal justice and psychology. And I was about one step away from getting into the police academy. Well, I was enrolled in the police academy. I was about to join APD. Anytime someone says police academy, I think of the six movies. Yes. Well, I loved those movies.

I loved them. Move it, move it, move it. Yes. Well, I loved those movies. I loved them. Move it, move it, move it. Yes. And that's when I, at the same time, I got my training to become a personal trainer as well. Because, of course, I'm going to be a cop. I got to be as strong as all the other men. And started training and bodybuilding. And by that time, I'd already been diagnosed with celiac disease and fibromyalgia. And the only thing that had reversed fibromyalgia was go to sleep at the same time every night, drink quality water, don't eat like a shithead, and take care of your body. And so I had to keep this regimen. And around the time I started doing the training, I was watching all these videos. I was following Charles Poliquin. And I came across

this video on the bottom of the screen of Paul Cech. And I was like, who's this guy? And I clicked on it. And he started talking about the four doctors. And I was like, well, this is the same shit I've been doing. This is what reversed the fibromyalgia. So I started getting interested in him. And simultaneously, that's when my second child got very ill and was in the hospital. She had vaccine injury and we had to go through so much of a mess with her for a year. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes. My dad had his third heart stint. My aunt was diagnosed with colon cancer. So I felt like I was constantly in and out of doctor's offices with my family and researching nutrition. So then I started studying nutrition and like university, you know, UT, Texas state, all the universities, their, their nutrition curriculum was, was shit. And Paul Czech was the only one that made sense. Like you couldn't argue what he was teaching. So

I started with the Czech Institute and, um, that's when I started learning about circadian rhythms. And when I knew that once I get into the, get into APD, it's two years night shift. You can't get away from that before you can go on to up the chain. So that was a no-no for me, along with some other things, and I won't get into that. But I also knew that I would be a part of the problem in terms of social justice issues. And so, like for profit prison systems. And so I turned on my heels on that and went into

the Czech Institute and didn't look back. And that caused a big problem in my marriage, which soon began to crumble. And then I met that guy over there. Yeah. And I was still married when we met at HLC3. Yeah, that was my story. The whole colored past had so many different careers, so many different passions, but all of those things have served me so well. And what I do now, I mean, working in venture capital and politics, government, the criminal justice system, legal, psychology, all of that has served me in our practice and growing a business and growing a family. So it allows me to continue to do the research that I've done.

And when I started getting into my research about 10 years ago in women's health and putting together that course that I talked about on the podcast with Paul, that's what really kicked it up for me and really lit a fire under my ass. And that's when I knew that I'm now on the right path. I'm, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And I had to go through all of those things. Um, the marriage, the, all of the conflicts, my, my both children who got sick and I lost near lost one of them nearly to liver failure. So our relationship, I'm sure we'll get into that, has been its own firewalk. And that's a huge part of our coaching. As so many people quit when they're faced with the challenge. And rather than seeing the relationship as the path to spiritual enlightenment itself and looking at the challenge as this is your mirror.

And so we are huge advocates of plant medicine, and we feel that the relationship that you can be in. Like love is such a great tool to wake up and to heal yourself and to use that to integrate those things that you, those insights that you gain and to integrate that into your life daily and practice those things daily. It's just so hard when you're in the ego because you see that person and you see that person as the adversary and you see that person as someone who represents their faults and their ticks and the person that's judging you and criticizing you and not seeing you and not seeing the value in you and not seeing all the other things you do. And it just brings up all of that stuff that, you know, that you don't want to see in yourself. And that's where the growth is.

That's where you want to do the work. And that's where a lot of people just take off. Yeah. They think the grass is greener or they'll find somebody who clicks with them better or hears them better or sees them more fully. For a little while. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that's always the case. That's the magic of the hot sauce that our chemistry does for us, right? To bring in that attraction just long enough to create children. And then all the work happens, right? Plenty to dive into there with relationships, and we're certainly going to do that.

Alex, tell us a bit about what got you into all this. Well, I tried college, and I tried – well, I was born in Ukraine. So when we moved here, I didn't speak English. My parents barely spoke English. And so when I was going through school, no one really had, I didn't really have parents to fall onto and be like, Hey, can you help me with literature, history, you know, English writing? And it was like, they can help me with math and art, you know? And so pretty much all the other things I was in a sharp decline. So I'm grateful that in my nature, I learned

through observation and then touching and application. So like doing the show me, let me do it. And then I learn it and then I don't forget it. And so I had to learn a lot that way. And so when I was trying to go through school, my parents were like, always like, Hey, by the way, they're great people. So if I ever talk like harshly about them they are doing their best and it's you know watching them as i grow seeing them for who they are is like you guys do a lot you know but and they're just not given the tools like most people aren't given the tools you know they're just you know came here when they were in the 20s and with a four-year-old not speaking a lick of english

with no money and it's like all right they got to work so as i tried to go through the the school system like middle school you know high school try to do college and it was i barely passed high school tried college and i was like and i would start out with a's and then my just my interest would just decline like this is not what i'm supposed to do. So my mom one day was like, hey, you want to do personal training? I should tell him about getting arrested first. That kind of set the whole thing. I was like, hey, you skipped over that part. Don't leave out the juicy details.

Let's go. So let me back up a little bit. Talk about jail. Yeah. So me not knowing how to fit in because me trying to figure out like what's the right social place to be in and i've always always been if you ask my parents like any anytime they're like he's always a good-natured kid always loves animals always loves people whenever he's at a park he always talked to the the grandmas and grandpas because that's who he's interested in and now it makes

sense because i'm trying to pull elder knowledge out of them, you know. And I attracted someone, my elder, you know, who is older. Yeah. And so I got, you know, trying to fit in, seeing where I fit into different groups. And so going back again, before we moved to Ukraine, I died when I was three in the hospital and they had to revive me. And so life has been confusing up until like years ago until, until I met Paul basically, where he explained to me what I've been going through and why all these things come up for me. And then it's like, okay, this is starting

to make more sense. So now I'm in America. I don't like I'm I by six, I already learned how to speak English, watching TV and listening to people talk. And now I'm middle school, trying to fit in. I'm terrible at school. I don't know how to read very well and absorb and then regurgitate the information that people wanted to hear. So I barely passed high school. And as I'm going through high school, I have friends that are causing trouble. And I'm like, this is fun.

This is great. This is a lot of fun. Like, hey, we can make money going into people's cars I have friends that are causing trouble. And I'm like, this is fun. This is great. This is a lot of fun. You know, like, hey, we can make money doing, you know, going into people's cars and taking stuff out of their cars and we can go sell them. This is great. You know, that's all it is. Not realizing it was a felony, you know? And then so one day I was driving home and I got pulled over and like, hey, what is all this stuff in your car? I don't know. What is this? I don't know. Why is there a name of this on your car uh in this bag is that do you know anyone with uh get out of the car so i got put in jail for the day and you know my i'm like just don't call my parents obviously i was 17 they called my parents and not still not

realizing what i've done i'm just like i'll get out of this well we start getting to court and then i'm like still like whatever we start getting to the verdict and my parents are sitting there and they're like you know oh he got convicted with uh uh there's a class two class b i don't know what it was but it was a felony a burglary charge and then i was like okay. And then I look over and I just see this look of failure on them. And I was like, this is not what I wanted to do. I was just trying to get some attention because my parents are working all the time. They're never around. Like normally I get yelling. I don't get no yelling. That scared the shit out of me. Because in my heart, I'm like, I'm a good-natured person. All I want to do is help people. And I pick up trash off the floor when no one's looking and random stuff like that. I'll put the cart back. Little stuff that people don't really care about. But I'm like, these are my values. I want to make sure that everything's in alignment and Mother Nature is good. And when I saw that look on their face, it scared the shit out of me. And I was like, I think it just fucked up for real. And it changed the whole course of where I, where I was going. I pretty

much cut off all the people that were causing trouble in my life that weren't aligned with that message of, I want to help people, not hurt people. So then I just started working out. And then I went from being, you know, a football player in high school and just started training. And then in, you know, within six months after I got arrested, I was on probation. And what was interesting at the probation, they were, they were, they were interviewing me and they called three other people over to re-interview me. And I'm like, I don't understand why you guys are asking me these questions. I gave you the same answer. I'm not understanding. They're like, well, for your felony charge, there's no one answers these like this. So we're just confused as to why a kid like you would get a felony charge there's no one answers these like this so we're just confused as to why a kid like

you would get a felony charge and i told you i'm like this isn't me this is just i thought this was this i was just having fun i didn't know that this was hurting all these people and like this is social structure of you know a crime and they're like okay so they gave me the most minimal probation sentence and you know uh paid some restitution did some community service and so to get out of trouble i started working out so i'd go to work i'd work at like gnc or valet or i was a bouncer at one point and then playing football after after high school and uh then i started working out my parents were like dude you're not working out what are you doing at from 12 to 3 in the morning i'm like i swear to god i'm working out well six months later they're like all right this kid's working out because i just kept growing and growing and

growing and they're like you should go to school because your family friends are really intelligent and they're going to be anesthesiologists and nurse and nurse practitioners and i was like this isn't for me okay well you're going to come work with me at the shop. I'm like, that's not for me. I like working out. And they're like, well, why don't you go to personal training school? I was like, okay. So that was the first place that I went to school

that I literally absorbed everything without any effort. And I was already coaching inside the school while I was in the school and answering questions while my head was down, paying attention to something else. And they would pick on me like, Hey, do this. What is the answer to this? And I'd be like, you know, biceps and mores. They're like, okay, maybe I shouldn't mess with him because he's clearly absorbing, you know? So I finished personal training school, started working at Lifetime. And they just kind of thought I was just like, you know, badass. I

was like, I knew what I'm doing, helping people grow, helping people change, grounding people. And then one day this guy was doing something that I was like, I'm going to challenge this guy. He doesn't know what he's talking about. And he popped his head in and he like poked his head up and he was like, what did you just say to me? He goes, I'm like, why, you can't be doing that.

You're going to hurt yourself. He goes, why? Like, because you're going to hurt yourself. He yourself he goes but why my spine moves in this direction why can't i do this and he asked me a question that kind of like messed me up because i thought i knew and then i'm like where did you learn that you could do this and he's like well you have two two options that i recommend he goes paul check or charles poliquin so it's funny we have that same charles poliquin thing so i was like, well, tell me about both. And he told me about Charles and told me about Paul. And I was like, you know what? I like what I'm hearing because I was a fat

kid growing up. Then I went into football and wrestling and played volleyball and my whole body transformed. And I was like, all right, people treated me different when I look different. This is so interesting. So then I went through football and then after high school, I was like, okay, I'm going to try to get lean. This is what, this is the whole phase now that I'm backing up to 18. After I got arrested, I'm just working. And I was bulked up. I was like 220 pounds. I was like, let me see if I can just focus on my diet and see what happens. So I have lifting under my belt. I have like just changing my diet under my belt and just transforming my body. I've never seen abs in

my body before. And so until I, well, back when I was six years old, cause I came here, I was like a Ukrainian kid who barely ate, you know? And, and so now I'm like, okay, well exercise and diet. Yeah. And I've already gone through the whole supplement train. I'm like, okay, well exercise and diet. Yeah. And I've already gone through the whole supplement train. I was like, I don't want supplements. So when he showed me Paul, I was like, this seems logical. And so I just bought exercise coach. I spent like $6,000 right out of my pocket. My parents were like, what the hell are you doing? Like, you gotta be saving for rent and money. And so you can get a house and support a family and i'm like i got this you know so i had all that and they're like you're never going to be a good as a personal trainer

you're not going to you're not going to work you're not going to provide for a family as a trainer and they were right i had to become a check practitioner to do that but and be more well versed in a manual therapist all those things um not saying other people can't do it i just that wasn't my path but so that was kind of that rabbit hole. And then the moment I picked up Paul's, it was a scientific back training. I was like, this is what is in my head, but I can't put the words to it and the right steps,

but this makes, and it just blew my mind. And then I just started binging his content. And I think within two years, I was already an HLC2 and a CP2, which is like five whole courses into his thing. I was already done with that. And it took me like an extra two years to get into CP3 and then another three years because I missed his CP4. And then I finally become a master check practitioner like almost three years ago now.

But that's how I got into it. I talked to one guy and he brought up his name and everything in my body just lit up like this is truth I need to go look this way and that's I just never look back and this guy tried to offer me something else he's like hey you can look into this and I was like last time you told me to look into something I completely dove into it for 10 years so I'm I'm gonna pause on that for a second so but um but, um, is there anything I missed? I missed a lot. There's a lot. Obviously, you know, you're 32 years old. Yeah. Yeah. That's phenomenal. And Paula Quinn, who passed away not too long ago was just a brilliant, brilliant dude, you know, and there's one of my favorite pictures is, with uh at the heaven house in san diego with charles poliquin

and paul check with the chicago bulls and it's just like you're in their fucking heyday and you're from chicago alex so it's like to think of that like who's being who are the people that are behind like for every great man there's an even greater woman behind him or whatever not behind him in tandem with them that that's saying you could look at with a positive light or a negative light depends on your approach to it but it's like for every great sports team who are the unsung heroes behind them i mean these guys had paul check and charles poliquin like two of the greatest of all time when it comes to this stuff yeah um so that that's that's fantastic. I think about those, those little moments in life where, you know, the, the synchronicity is so sound that you're just, there's, there's, it's undeniable.

It's like, oh, this is the thing I'm going to do now. And it's, it's, uh, you know, you look back on it in hindsight and you're like, damn, you know, like, where would I be without that moment? You know, but that's right in a way, in a way like we are led there, you know? So that's something that I pray for is like, not like enlightenment or wisdom is, or, you know, be able to jump higher. The one thing I really pray for is being able to see what is in front of me that I need to see

and I need to pay attention to. Because, you know, a lot of people have opportunities come up and they're like, ah, I'm just going to move past this one. Like Sarah was one of those people, you know, she came up and I was like, she's married.

How is this going to work? You know, we live in different States, but something was like, just keep working with her. Just keep working with her. She's being a bitch to you. Yeah.

Yeah. Super rude. Yeah. All sorts of stuff. You know, I, fairly enough, I started off being rude first. Cause yeah yeah super rude yeah all sorts of stuff you know i fairly enough i start off being rude first because yeah funny story to that but weird yeah but it's like something is like it just keeps pulling me back to her and i was like okay okay i this is that thing that i need to pay attention to and just fall into. And then six months later, she's probably two months later,

she's divorced. Four months after that, she's pregnant. And then things line up three months later, I'm moving down here. Yeah. And now, now I've been here almost six years, five years. And they say, you know, if your dream is big enough, I don't know who said this, but you know, if your dream is big enough, you don't need a crisis. And so if you look back on your life and you look at all the crises in your life, you can identify how pretty clear you weren't dreaming big enough. You weren't listening to what you're supposed to be doing. And I look back on my life and I'm like, it's pretty fucking clear. I wasn't listening.

I was listening to everybody else. I was listening to, well, you know, my dad would be so happy if I did this, if I pursued political science, my dad would be really happy if I pursued business, venture capital, that would make him so proud. He'd be able to talk to everybody at church and be like, oh, my daughter, Sarah, you know, like I was listening to that. I was listening to my former husband. I was listening to all of these other voices that were still just shitter chattering of the, you know, that conditioning, the social conditioning, this cultural conditioning, the religious conditioning, the familial conditioning that I had growing up and all of that inner stuff. And like that's still there. It's just also changed too. I'm also starting to see how some of that was my own working, my own doing, because I see my parents as different. I see how much they tried and even my own stubbornness wanted to see things differently and how I programmed myself as a kid. So it continues to change and shift.

And so you don't need a crisis if you're actually dreaming big enough. And I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. I wasn't listening to that voice. I was given the illness that I was given because that was what I was supposed to be doing. That was my firewalk so that I could help others out of that. And now that I've gone through the firewalks that I was supposed to go through, I now understand women. I now understand what women go through and I can help them go through that. And so they can help other women go through that. I now can help men understand women's unique human experience

so that it gives it a voice and they can then work with them and be in relationship with them. And same for Alex. He went through death twice. So now he understands life and he can help people understand how to enjoy life. And so that's, that's why we go through these crises. But if you're going through the same fucking crisis all the time, like you're not listening. Yeah. The pain teacher will whisper in your ear to begin with and eventually knock on the door and eventually the whole fucking house over. Right. Have pain teacher will whisper in your ear to begin with and eventually knock on the door and eventually the whole fucking house over. Right. Have you step on a nail? That's right. We did that the other day. Yeah. Well, let's, let's unpack that. Let's talk relationships here

because you know, I've had, I've only, I've only brought up relationships with a few different people on the podcast, I think, and through different angles. You know, Dr. Wednesday Martin is fantastic. She has a certain viewpoint on it. Obviously, you know, my goal of that conversation, as many feathers that were ruffled by it, was simply to offer A, a different lens, but B, what are the global things that help people in relationship, whether you're polyamorous, monogamous, doesn't matter. What are these foundational pieces that everyone in

relationship, which we all are, even if we're not in romantic relationship, we're still in relationship. You're a son, you're a daughter, you're a brother, you're a sister, you're always in some relationship, you're an employee or a boss, a manager. There's many relationships, many masks and hats that we have to wear. But let's dive into, you know, loving relationships with our partners. And what are some of the key foundational pieces that you guys have come to understand? And I guess this is a loaded question, but, and you can take it, you can start with whatever way you want. Maybe I can, hopefully if my brain works right, I can finish the round out. What key elements should men know about women that will help them better in relationship?

That is a loaded, that's a very loaded question. Oh my God. Well, so I, one, I think really getting to understand the archetypes is very important. Um, but understanding how the feminine and the masculine works. Um, and so understanding the masculine archetypes is very important to understand the woman. Understanding yourself is important because I feel as though, and Alex is working on this too with his courses with the masculine archetypes, is if you haven't healed the child in lover masculine archetype for instance the child is always going to want the woman to be his mommy and then that will shove the woman into almost a masculine role and so the four main archetypes for women universal um are going to be the maiden and the wild woman and the nurturer, which is like

the mother, the creator, and the crone or the wise woman. We carry those because this is like a developmental archetypal sequence for the woman. And we have these innately in us all the time, and we can pull them. They're like our counsel. And if we are not connected to these, so socioculturally women tend to be pushed into a masculine role, and I'm very masculine. I'm very much in my animus,

and it can be very difficult because as the CEO, I have to transition, and a lot of women are like this. A lot of women are going through this, and it's very difficult. And so if the man in the relationship, if it's heterosexual relationship or even homosexual relationship or same partner, and there is one masculine and one's more feminine, there needs to be some sort of a balance of the feminine and the masculine. And if you're pushing one partner to be too much of one, it's going to be without a balance and one's more of a child.

It's just not sexy. It's just not sexy to be that, to be always needed, to always be expected of something, to always to be, you know, not heard, not seen. So it's like a codependent relationship, right? In a certain sense. Yeah. So the woman needs to feel at some point that if she's expressing a feeling, a need or a desire that she is being heard, not seen as the mother giving a, you know, you didn't clean your room, like a job performance to the son. And the son is then reacting like, well, what about this? Or what about that? And getting really defensive because that causes the woman to then retract. She doesn't trust him anymore because when she takes a feeling, a need, or a desire to her man,

it's because she trusts him. She sees him as the warrior. She sees him as the king, and she trusts him with her vulnerability. And if he reacts as the boyish child to the mother, then she starts to lose trust, and she hardens. And so that's a huge thing that I see so often and it's so common and it's been in our relationship. And it's something that's had to be healed in our relationship. And it's also me being eight years older too. So then what happens in me is the crone, the shadow of my crone then comes out as judgmental and impatient and intolerant and so that will then

pull on the shadows of the woman and you're gonna see two shadows fighting each other and so that's where the difficulty comes but also the opportunity to grow in a relationship when you see two shadows fighting each other that's where you can look at each other and go like, here's my shadow and here's your shadow. Let's look at those. You just have to provide those space. The other thing, if you want to look at foundational things about women, key differences is that it's not that we can just make babies. There's four phases of our cycle. If you're looking at the, you know, a fertile woman and throughout these phases of our cycle, we go through lots of shifts, lots of different shifts. And so, you know, the first phase of our cycle, like our, our, we, all of our hormones are down and then they start to rise, which makes us more free-flowing and energetic.

And then mid-cycle, that's when you see us at our most horny, more playful, more competitive, more aggressive. And then they start to fall and dip again, and that's where we are very in tuned with our emotions. That's when we're calling you on your bullshit. That's when your shadow is going to come out. She's pointing the finger at me while she says this. That's a perfect reenactment. Yeah. So this is where the crone will come out. We are very in tuned with our intuition and our inner wisdom because as those hormones begin to fall, the immune system dips and we are super in tuned with our, our higher self and, and the, the higher chakras and we can sense everything. And I, you know, for lack of better words, bullshit, we smell it and

sense it. And that's a good time to, you know, create space with your woman. So that would be in the fourth phase of the cycle. That's premenstrual. And that's why I hate that they call it a syndrome, premenstrual syndrome, where women are erratic and emotional. No, it's because we are so tuned in to all of our emotions, everybody else's emotions. And it makes us crazy. No, we are just so tuned in. And so that's a good time to sit down and counsel with her and do reflect on, say, the month past. And to a cellular level, women are different. Our immune systems are different. And for the times now, like we can fight viruses off. The estrogen compounds in men cannot stop the replication of viruses. The estrogen compounds in women can. That's why you're seeing double the amount of men falling from this current virus

right now. And they just had that study come out just a couple of years ago, which is crazy to me. And so women are phenomenal. And we can get into that later. Or you could just link the podcast with Paul, because that's what my course is all about. It's the only course, which still blows my mind, that is out today, as of now, that details all of the variations of how women are different from each system of the body down to the cellular level and why why we are still programming them different why we are still assessing them differently why are we why aren't we doing this why aren't we studying them why is the science still looping them into the average male, 165 pound human? One size fits all, as with everything else, from diet to you name it.

Tossing out all this information and diagnosing them the same and prescribing the same amount of medications, vaccinating them the same know, even phones, keyboards, instruments, equipment, everything is based on male measurements. When clearly women have vast different measurements and sizes and everything. It's all male measurements, the average, you know, 5 foot 10, 160 pound male. And so, you know, through all of my research, that is what women are trying to compensate for. And we wonder why the third and fourth wave feminist movements were brought out with outrage. And so that's the energy that you're seeing is just outrage and now masculine women. And now the, what is the response to that? Feminine, you know, men, men who are, you know,

now scared, they're scared to like even make a move. And, um, I have lots of, lots of feelings about that because, you know, men can be dominant and they can be scary and they can, you know, but portraying them as criminal because we have it up here. We are just as manipulative and criminal psychologically as we can use both sides of the brain. That's another thing. I guess I could give that one away. Should I give that one away? Yeah, we can use both sides of the brain at the same time. Men are one side focused.

That's why they were good hunters. You have to just be focused on one thing. Women are peripheral. So we can use all of our senses at the same time and we can use both sides of the brain at the same time. That's why we're good talkers. That's why I'm talking so much. And there's 30% more synapses between the left and the right hemisphere

than men do. So we can think and talk. That's why we're good at multitasking. We can draw, create, imagine, fantasize while we are analyzing, organizing, strategizing. So that makes us very good manipulators. So we are emotional while strategizing on how to use those emotions on you. And so that's, and that can be a very unconscious thing. And so we, we can be just as on the, on the attack side with that. It's just psychological. Men, it's physical. So we,

we need to find that common ground. And women, we need to be aware of that and accountable for that. Men, yes, they're big and physical and scary. And we can be a victim of that. But men are victims of us too. They're victims of our psychological warfare and our psychological manipulations. And we need to be accountable for that. We need to step into that and say, yes, we do that. And we need to come into an awareness of that. We need to be conscious of that because it is a gift we have. But we need to use it for our good and for the good of our men.

And we need to use it to uplift them, just like men need to use their strength and their power to protect us. So right now, there's a lot of both being used for not good. Yeah. We see unconscious masculine, unconscious feminine on all sides of the coin. And we see those in that role reversal. This reminds me of a story that Anahata told me when her daughter, she has twins, boy and a girl, her daughter went to the Women's March when Trump was going to be elected. And immediately she was like,

oh, she got that little, well, this isn't going to be what you think it is. But in her daughter being old enough and a young adult, she wanted to not only give permission, but just like, let me see if I can see a place to observe this. So she just said, hey, I want you to pay attention to one thing. When you march with the women, see if they're marching in love for women, or see if they're marching in anger and blame and resentment and judgment.

And she came back and she was like, mom, you were right. There was only like five people there that were talking about the love for women and everyone else was, you know, hate speech and nasty signs and yelling and screaming and chanting. And, and it was just really hard to be around, you know, like it was not in love. It was, it was an unconscious masculine archetype that all the women were drawn to. And this is important. I mean, we talk about these things.

I mean, it's for people who have studied Jung or Czech or, you know, who's well studied, obviously, but and really taking a look at why archetypes are important. And I think if I recall right, you guys might know this, but Chex, um, four podcast series on the pain teacher. He really talks about why the archetypes are important and you can listen to on a podcast without diving into man and his symbols and a lot of these other really hefty books, um, to uncover that, but they're an important lens to look through. And the, the bottom line is if we're, if we don't understand how these affect us, then we don't have language to use on how to find the right way out of it. Right. We simply go through life with blinders on. And, you know, to your point, it's funny because right when you started bringing this up and you were talking about how, if the man has not

healed his inner child, he will look to his partner as the mother and not in a good way. I mean, fucking right when quarantine started and shit hit the fan and I was dealing with a lot and we have a little girl on the way and I've really have been called to practice working with the conscious feminine energy in myself, you know, not just from plant medicines, but just from our little girl being on the way. I started processing a lot of stuff with my mom. And just like you said, Alex, I'm in a great relationship with both my parents now. I love them dearly. And my mom even called it. She's like, as you finish the work with your dad, you might have some shit come up with me. And I was like, yeah, all right, we'll see. And sure enough, I was wrestling with Bear and Christian and Tosh was yelling at us because we

were tickling Christian and not letting him breathe. And my mom always used to tell us to stop wrestling, like if she thought one of us was going to get hurt. And I just, I looked at Tosh and I was like, I go, quit fucking yelling at us. You're acting like my mom. And then like immediately when it came out of my mouth, I was like, oh my God, here I did it. Oh, wow. Wow. And like had to unpack that thankfully with ceremony and with apology and, you know, the tools that I have to be able to see where that comes from. But like that was still buried in from when I was seven years old. Like there's the fun police again. We're not allowed to play. Right. And then it

just fucking slapped that label right onto her rather than seeing it as a maybe she has a point b she's likely in a highly protective state because she's in the third trimester of pregnancy and she's seeing through the lens of care and nurture and not overdoing it and then that really just unpack that but i mean you're everything you're talking about right now like again if you don't if you haven't heard of this stuff, I know it can seem out there and ethereal, but it really does give us very tactical tools and a means to start to explain some of the ways we navigate through life. And they've been, as I've dove into the archetypes and Alex, I definitely want to give you space here to dive into the masculine archetypes. It's just created a whole world of different lenses for me to look through

in life. And I think that they're incredibly valuable and important. So again, if it's your first time, I get it, but stay with us here because this really does make a lot of sense. Archetypes are amazing though, too. I mean, and that's and i mean alex will get into that too but if you even look through history you can see the development of archetypes just in in history and just going back to that you look at the third wave of feminism um vietnam war when when men were forced to go to war a war most of them didn't want to go to, what happened while they were gone? Women were burning bras. They all decided this is my body, whatever, as they had a right to do. And off to college, they were doing all these protests. These men came back from a war they didn't want to go to,

watched the most horrific shit that they went through, lost men, came back with no limbs. It was horrific. And what did they come back to? Women protesting, marching, chanting all these lyrics about how horrible men are. You can't touch me. This is my body. Fuck you. Like what a mind fuck. And it was outrage. Right. It was an outrage against men. Well, guess what? Guess who is now running our Congress? Those men. Those are the men who are now in Congress. That's the time that they are. Like those men who were in Vietnam and in college during that time, those are the men who are now in Congress and in our Senate. So now you wonder why shit is the way it is. So like you can see the effects actually in our society now as a result of those things, as you see those archetypes and how the psyche works and the results that happen and play out. And so that's the shadow. And now years later, decades later, look what happens as the result of those shadows and those archetypes. And so that's why we agree.

Like, archetypes are so important to study. It's important to understand about yourself because there are consequences, long-lasting consequences that happen. And, you know, I'm trying to rein in my 14-year-old because she's, man, her wild woman is developing right now. And I just, I want it to be healthy because she's, you know woman is developing right now and I just I want it to be healthy uh because she's you know she's got a hold of uh social media I don't one social media and she's got a hold of all these friends and influences and I'm just I'm trying to rein that in and develop it in such a healthy way because that's gonna last yeah yeah I'm thinking about that with bear who will be five probably you, he'll be five when this podcast launches in a couple of weeks. And, you know, Jack talked about that in one of his, it might have been the pin teacher. I think it was, you know, how he was, you know, a wild man or young men with an unchanneled wild man will do stupid shit, like drive really fast on freeways, you know, where you're not allowed to drive fast and drink copious amounts of alcohol and get into fistfights and just do a lot of things that may be okay or could lead them to their death at an early age. Right. And I see that in him already. And so it's like a, you know,

just not, you don't want to break that from our children because it's a beautiful gift to have, but you also want to be able to steer it in the right direction. Right, yeah. Well, let's jump right into the masculine since we use bear as a segue here. It's interesting that you said drive cars really fast and try to kill yourself because that was my – after death, that's kind of been like there's an absence of life. And it was like what am I – like there's something beyond this. Kind of like, even with like the, the dangers of, of plant medicine, you can see beyond so far that you're like, wow, this life like doesn't carry past that. And there's nothing, there's nothing that will mimic the amount of love you'll feel

after you die here on earth. And once you feel that without any boundaries, it's like, well, what's the point of being here when there's something way more beautiful on the other side, just like the grass is greener on the other side. But then later I come to realize that the grass is greener where you water it. And so creating heaven on earth is really important. And now at this point in my life, I can put words to that before they were just like feelings like, that makes sense. Like this feeling of nonverbal telepathic understanding. Yes. But how do I articulate that? And so when I was, when I was

younger, yeah, driving my car 130 miles on the highway and then you know great spirit looking after me because no cars or like there's cars weaving in and out and then i get pulled over going like six miles an hour over the speed limit in my neighborhood three days later and i'm like oh but i was just doing that you know and it's like oh because there's there's something looking after me like, hey, stupid, stop this. And jumping off high buildings and riding my bike off of past cliffs and over cliff edges. And Sarah just gave birth to a kid. And I'm like, let me jump out of an airplane. And then she's watching me with Ari in her car in the stroller just like, please fucking put your feet on earth.

And it was like little things like that, that chasing it. But then it was the second time that died that gave me purpose. And I was like, oh, that's what all that behind the veil, that's what I'm trying to develop. So that way I can sustain that because what people don't realize is the love is so strong behind the veil that it pushes you back into a body because it's so intense. I mean, like the most intense love you've ever felt in your life. Like every child of yours being born at the same time of all your sexual orgasms and experiences and love and all your loves and all your first lusts and all your first uh like good feelings all that at the same time time is infinite just sustained

just the whole feeling it's just so overwhelming that it's like all right i'm not ready for that yet i gotta i gotta figure this out first unpack your death real quick i know you've died twice you've mentioned it here. I've heard the stories, but for some people, they're like, is it an ayahuasca death? Is it a real death? Explain those deaths because these are real deaths. They're not ayahuasca deaths.

No, the first death, I was three. I had laryngitis, and I was in the hospital. In Ukraine, the hospitals were not like they are here. Yeah, not so great. Yeah. And so I couldn't breathe. So the nurse came in and gave me sleeping pills. And my mom's like, why is he unconscious?

And she goes, oh, he's sleeping. And she goes, why is he sleeping? He can't breathe. And she goes, oh, we give him sleeping pills so you can get some sleep. And my mom's like, I'm not here to sleep sleep i'm here to make sure my son's okay so i'm sleeping i a couple hours later they found me blue i'm like full-on no heart rate and so in ukraine what they do is they bring you into the and when the moment they cross that that room divider you can't be in the hospital anymore you have to go home and so now my parents went home while i was in the er and then they cut me

i still have a scar i think it's here a scar here that they had to suck all the pus out on the lymph nodes because everything was so blocked up i couldn't breathe they gave me a tracheotomy in my throat um uh they had to none of that worked no resuscitation work so they had to revive me with adrenaline in the heart and then uh like uh pulp fiction straight up damn yeah and the craziest thing is my parents would never would have found out because they don't tell the parents what happened but my grandmother worked in the hospital and she went rifling through files, pulled my file and saw what they did and then told my parents what happened. Because the next thing my parents saw was they came into the hospital and I had a tube in my throat and I talk like a robot.

And they were like, there's this three year old boy and my dad couldn't even be in the room. He was just so distraught. My mom was like, okay, got to hold back my tears and make sure this, he feels normal and bring him coloring books and talk to him. Cause my dad couldn't even like stomach what has happened to me. And they had you leather strapped to the bed. Oh yeah. Yeah.

They had to, yeah. They had strapped me down to the table and they were like, we're going to strap you down. And I said, don't strap me down. And they're like, I'll, I'll be a good boy. And then they did it anyways. And then they did that shit. Yeah. did that shit yeah damn yeah so um that was i still haven't fully experienced that in any ceremony i had an experience like that during tai chi where i saw i saw like six shadows above me and then i felt one in the back of the room and then i was like sarah i was just doing tai chi and i was like coughing and like i couldn't breathe and it was like felt like i had pus coming out of my mouth. Sarah was like, your mom said there were six doctors in the room.

I was like, holy shit. So little things like that where I'm like, I didn't know that because my parents won't tell me things even to this day. They won't tell me. But when they drink a little bit, they tell Sarah everything. I don't know why they tell me, but they won't talk to him about it. They get drunk and just tell me everything. It's so crazy, but it sounds very traumatic.

It's like, imagine if it were Ari or Bear at that age, just fully conscious, just having a big knife in the throat and tube shoved into their lungs, fully awake. Oh, my God. Yeah. I don't know what I do. And it happened to me and I still don't know what I would do, you know?

But, um, so the second time was, um, a more planned one where it was still on a journey. It was with a shaman. Yeah. Sarah was there.

I didn't know what happened. I just held my breath until everything left. Oh, this is five MEO. Yeah. Sarah was there. I didn't know what happened. I just held my breath until everything left. Oh, this is 5MEO. Yeah. And everything left. And then Sarah watched my eyes roll into the back of my head and for several minutes. So then the shaman had to revive me. And then I came back and I was like, hey, what's going on? He was like, so what was it like? I was like, I can't put it into words. And he goes, all right. So you went there. And then before we started everything, I was like, we're going to go meet God today because you died when you were little. And we're going to go see what all this fuss is about. Cause you

can't remember anything about it. So let's go see what all this fuss is about. So, and I've been practicing the Wim Hof stuff, Wim Hoff technique so i can hold my breath like and it was i've already controlled all that panic so i can hold my breath until my body naturally gasps for air but with this it was just like my breath left my body yeah your soul was out so so it's probably... And I had twice as much as him, and I was straight as a church lady on Easter Sunday. And I've been holding my breath since I was born, I feel like. And I was still just zero focused. But I was truly holding the space for him. Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. I've definitely had some ceremonies where same amount as before, whether we're specifically with 5MEO actually, where I hold my breath just as long and I don't go in a quarter as deep, and then I realize like two minutes into it, oh, I'm here for so-and-so. I'm here on behalf of the collective I'm here to you know I've had my my privilege to be able to go and visit that space yeah when it was for me but now I'm here in the service of others you know yeah and that's a oh god I was just gonna say that's one of the beautiful things about the group space that you learn in ayahuasca is that it's not my ceremony

it's our ceremony and that shared experience is beautiful because if it's through over the course of a few different days you can definitely get to your space where you get the deep inner work and there's other times even within a single night where you realize like i'm in the service of others right now and that's a really beautiful space to be in and we take we take turns like that a lot and i've had ego deaths and you know this was not that you know there's times where i'm like oh i don't know i don't know who i am i don't know where i am i don't know what's going on we've talked about all these things and i'm

like yeah i just i'm like oh i'm back you know but this remind this experience reminded me of the first time where it was just like, I can get into that space with just thought. And I can be like, yep, this is what I remember this feeling, but I don't know how to put words behind it. I don't know what this looks like or feels like, or, but then that, that space, when I got into with the shaman, that's what, that's what I was like, yep, this is, this is my childhood. This is what I saw because people have their own experiences and i remember being able to recreate or you know luckily spirit showed me what that was like and what the afterlife is like and it's just i came back with way more purpose and now because before i was like well fuck it i'm going there and

that feels awesome but now it's like oh there's a lot to do here yeah and there's always time to go there at any point you can go there and you'll never have here again and so um i just have this weird perspective on life where it's like i like the hard stuff you know i i like the lifting heavies i like the hard stuff. You know, I like the lifting heavies. I like the getting deep into something. I like getting, that's why I attracted this woman because there's no one ever triggers me. And if you think you're in a relationship

that it's going to be, you know, I don't know, smooth sailing the whole way and that's the perfect relationship, then you're missing out. Like this woman, not only does she love me the most and i love her the most but she also triggers me the most out of any person and it could be something stupid that i could look over every every person that i would say that that would ever say that to me but she just gets under my skin and that's good you know and the beautiful thing like about relating this to other people and

especially men is after all these death experiences and like knowing what comes after at least in my perspective i've i've seen what happens after my breath my soul leaves my body and doesn't come back for 10-15 minutes what else is there to do except just be better? So when Sarah's over here like triggering me and telling me in her crone phase what's going on with me, and I think I'm this high, mighty person, crone archetype, yeah, window, and I think I'm high and mighty and think I'm the man

and I'm the king, but then what else is there to do? And even if I argue, is she right or is she wrong? Does she have my best interest? That's the first thing I look at. Even though I'm pissed and I can't control what I'm doing, my first thought is she has my best interest. Why would she tell me this to make me worse? Is she doing, is that true? No, it's not true. This woman is only trying to make me the best human being, the most aligned human being, and I trust her for that. No, because I'm fucking smart.

And the best he becomes, the better our family is. And he knows that. And I trust that she's not trying to make me worse. You know. And there are times where I'm like, ah, she's also triggered. And this is coming from, let me just settle this. But still, regardless, she's always trying to make me better. And I can't argue because I'm not my best.

So when I am at my best, now I can put my foot down. So at so many times, because she is ahead of me, she has lived more life. I am trying to catch up on so many different levels. I need to catch up. You know, I need to put my trust into someone that has my child, that we share bank accounts with, that we share a dream with. So all the people that are in relationship, hopefully you can trust your person, you know, that they had your back no matter what. And, um, I don't know if this is the perfect time to get into the archetypes. Let's do it right now, brother. Yeah. I've been, I've been waiting for it.

Okay. Let's start writing in the mail. So, so that's when, that's when, you know, the, the King doesn't want to be controlled. But the king, there are so many different kings throughout our lifetime and that we've seen in history. There's good kings, there's bad kings, there's tyrants, there's benevolent kings, there's all these different ones. And they all have a shadow and they all have a light side to them. And so

what I've been diving into and what I've been really called into is almost taking, because each of the king is the fire, the lovers, the water, they balance each other out. And then you have the warrior who's the earth, who's made out of the earth, who's solid like earth, who takes care of his body, grounds himself in his purpose, and is contained through earthly movements. And then you have, which is balanced by the magician, who creates things out of nothing, right? It's very logical and very mathematical, but also very heady, very like, I'm going to follow this thing and see where it goes. Like a lot of people do, like they're like go mad and they're like, I'm going to go do this thing. Air element. Yeah. The air. Yeah. But what I started to realize is you can't just balance

yourself with the lover or you can't, it's, you know, it's really hard to balance yourself with the good attributes of like, Oh, just, just be that. You know, how many times have people are like, just be better. And you're like, how do you do that? Like, okay, I'm still, I'm okay. So I'm, you know, not sleeping with every woman I'm coming in contact with, but I still have the urge to, and I don't understand why. So it just takes deeper like therapy to go into each one of these things and find out what the child is that's, that's needing to be healed. But also behind that, where do you need to go in the actionable steps? You need to go to be the archetype itself. And these are just only four. There's so many more archetypes that people get called to and

builders and fools and magicians, or magicians is one of them, but shamans and engineers and advocates. There's so many different ones. And if you don't follow at least your path, you're going to be lost and you're going to be in the shadow of all the other ones. But it's easy to use the warrior, king, lover, magician, because most men have that in them that they need to balance. The universal. The universal ones. And so what I've come to realize is each one of those has its own fire, earth, wind, and air element to them to create balance. So this is something that I've been playing with going, okay, well, if the king has a fire that's too hot,

you could go look at the fire element within. Should I just tell them about the tarot? How I popped everything in? You can. That's going to get hefty. Yeah. So I, so here's kind of like what I've been,

my magician has been going crazy. If the listeners don't know much about tarot, like, yeah. So I put many archetypes for the archetypes i put i assigned a tarot card that matches and balances out each of the four archetypes so each archetype has four individual tarot cards that balances out. And each tarot card has a whole list to unpack. So if you're wondering like, oh, my fire of my king is too hot. Well, just being just more like healthy fire doesn't soothe the soul. So you learn from the water of the tarot

that harmonizes with the fire of the tarot so you go this is what i pay attention to and once this balances out i can participate fully and more balanced in the wholeness of the the king card of the king archetype and so without unpacking all that because it's kind of it's a podcast in and of itself. It's a mess. Yeah, sure. Archetypes are can really, really run deep. And that's where like most of our coaching is archetypes. And, you know, I do the same thing with the four universal feminine archetypes. And it's all developmental. So if the maiden, which is one of the first, that's like the gateway to femininity. And that's, you know, between four to 10, four to 12 maybe.

And if that is not developed in a healthy way, you either have a wounded maiden or an unevolved maiden. And if that happens, then, you know, you have the maiden and then the wild woman, the mother, the crone, but they kind of skip. If you have a wounded or unevolved maiden, you're going to have a shadow mother archetype. Same with the wild woman. If the wild woman is wounded or unevolved, you're going to have a shadow crone or wise woman. And so you can't heal the mother archetype in yourself until you go back to the maiden and figure out,

are you unevolved or are you wounded? And then you need to work that out. Then you can heal the mother. And so it's really deep stuff. But once you start working with it, it's so insightful. It's so enlightening. And it becomes very exciting once you start getting into that and learning about yourself through these archetypes because you start seeing your life in a new way. It's almost like we were just talking about that the other day. Like we change our minds all the time. We change our mind about when we're going to go to bed. We change our mind about what we're going to eat. We change our mind about who we're going to vote for. We change our mind. Like we're always changing our minds on a daily basis,

minute to minute, hour to hour, like just looking at the archetypes as through the timelines of our lives, we can change our minds about deeper level things. We can change our consciousness. We can change our perceptions. We can change our beliefs. That's stuff that will blow you out of the water. There are beliefs that are capable of changing that you don't, that you're not even aware of one and that you are, don't think you would ever change. For instance, like there are things happening now because of this pandemic and the quarantine, things are starting to normalize a little bit right now however what's going to happen in the fall um that i've seen and that that we've seen coming up um just through journeys and just through

like looking through um other lenses and just politically culturally globally how things are going to change and the shift in consciousness that's going to happen um we have to be prepared for this uh so many things that people are about to experience just on a conscious level uh belief systems is going to knock them on on their like i don't think people are prepared for this and and they have to start looking at their belief systems. If you start looking at just the news in itself, it's that the media is getting desperate on what they're posting, their headlines, the things that the headlines are saying. Alex and I've started looking at things a whole lot differently.

And I think people are going to start looking at this on the other side of it, just even in the fall, September, October. You're going to look back at April, March and go, my mind is not the same. And so that's how you look at archetypes and timelines of your life and go, like, I was, I don't even know who that person was. But there's healing that has to go through. You have to go back to that person and you have to work with that person. You have to work with yourself and give yourself forgiveness because there's a lot of judgment. You judge yourself for thinking these things. You judge yourself for being so stupid or making the wrong decisions. Or that still happens on an unconscious level.

And so we work with those archetypes on that level. And so I think also that's why we're doing the online coaching now. We see that there's such a conscious shift happening, and it's going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, and it's going to keep rolling. The people that are here now that are going through this, that are experiencing this, and that have an awareness of things changing and happening right now, those are the people that are going to

be part of that change. People that listen to your show, they're part of that too, because they're on that level. They're on that level of consciousness, and they're aware of it. And those are the people that we work with, because we know that they're capable of that change. And we know that when we work with people one-on-one, we're helping one person be a part of that change. And now that we see what's coming, we know that it's way, way bigger and a part of our purpose in calling to reach more people. Because the more people we reach, even if it's 50, those 50, if they help one person, that's 100. If those 100 people reach one person, that's 200. The wave just keeps going.

We need to reach more than just one-on-one person. And we've never done any sort of, you know, we've always been full one-to-one, one-on-one coaching, but now's the time to start helping people and getting consciousness, you know, on another level. Yeah. We just noticed people don't have a framework. Like, you know, our parents didn't have a framework of how to talk to us, how to educate us, how to guide us. They were just like, Oh, you're here now. Okay. I think this is right. And that's right. Okay. You're being too loud. And so like, you know, there's so like, that's why I was having a hard time unpacking these archetypes because there's so many and everyone's called to different things,

you know, whether you're a healer, sh builder fire fire firefighter or you know hero because firefighters would be a hero someone that you know and that's the other thing when you misappropriate where you are like a lot of doctors you know they're healers and heroes but now they're a lot of businessmen because you're like man i can i can make 500K and all I got to do is go to school for eight years and I'm set. All right, I'll be a businessman. I'm a businessman. I'll be this hero. And then they're the ones that seem to fall apart.

They're not loving their work because they're not in it. Because that's their archetype. They're in the shadow of the archetype because they've chosen the wrong field for them. And they're like, this would be easy. I know how to manipulate this situation. So it's a shadow getting into a shadow and same thing like, Hey, I want to be a firefighter, but really you're a fool. Like you're not going to run into a burning building to save people or you'll die in there, you know, but a hero will run right in there. They're like, I know I have a family. I know they have a family too. They need my help. I'm running in. And so kind of, kind of like pivoting

back to that King warrior, um, magician lover is it's a good framework for people to work with outside of their, outside of whatever their true callings are, you know um it gives people like a good sense of balance going okay where what do i focus on because the potential is hundreds and hundreds of hundreds of things to do in this life thousands millions of things that you could pursue feel experience billions i mean and how do you know what you want to do or how do you know you're rooted in what you are going to be and what your purpose is until you're whole? And so universally there are, you know, in all women and all men, universally there are these archetypes. You know, there's the hero's journey in women and men. And until you're whole

and you're integrated in all aspects of your life and you are aligned with that, how can you fulfill your purpose and use your gifts and give those gifts to the world? You have to become whole. And so that's what we want to help people do. That's what we want people. We want to make them whole so they can give their gifts to the world because that is what the world fucking needs right now. More of that shit. And because it's still coming. We're not done. Like, you know, we're coming out of quarantine.

We're, like, crawling out like, you know, baby spiders of the nest right now. But there's going to be more waves of, of this stuff. And I don't think it's the virus. I think it's political. I think it's going to be the economy. And I think it's going to be all the silly games that all these people are playing. And, and there's, there's still stuff going on behind the scenes and those games aren't over yet. And we need to be prepared for that. We need to prepare ourselves for that, and the people who have something to offer,

and they need to be rooted, and they need to be grounded, because those are the people who are going to inspire others, and they need to be ready for that. They're going to be the ones that are going to inspire others to be rooted and to be grounded and to go for their passions and to give their gifts to the world. That needs to continue to spread, not hide in our homes and be tucked away and worried about taxes and the economy

and where we're going to get food. So we need more of that. More people going after their shit and sharing their gift. Yeah. It doesn't help when, you know, kind of like the same thing with the archetypes I was talking about is when you're in your shadow, it's like just be the light. And it's like, no, address the shadow.

Understand why you have the shadowed knowledge that you are that that if you are mad at hitler well you have the same qualities that hitler is capable of inside of you too so you're mad at that guy because that's the part of yourself that you can't yeah love him love him i mean not love him or hate him i think everybody universally hates hitler but for the most part he was on the wrong path yeah love him or hate him. I think everybody universally hates Hitler, but for the most part, love him or hate him, Jordan B. Peterson, he beautifully states that. If you think, you're like, how could they fucking do that? How could the Holocaust happen? That is less than 100 years ago.

This didn't happen in a time where the human brain evolved since then or that consciousness took leaps and bounds since then. Like everything that's in your fucking body was in their body. Everything that you, that makes you a human being. And still you might argue with that, but the point is like, it is in humanity.

We are not fucking far removed from it to do the most atrocious possible things to other humans and to the earth. And it's the acknowledgement of that that gives us power over it. It's the ability to look at it and say, okay, that does exist, but I don't have to choose it. But you acknowledge it. You don't look away from it and pretend it's not fucking there. Right? And that kind of goes back to that, the buffalo medicine that i've talked about a lot on this podcast you know when the the native american buffalo wisdom is that when the storm comes the buffalo get shoulder to shoulder and go head first into the storm they don't try to

outrun it because that makes the storm last longer they go head first right so like you take that on with any challenge you might have in life knowing knowing this is the quickest way through that, right? And you pony up right next to your kin and go headfirst into it. And I think we always have work to do outside of whatever fucking pays the bills. Like what are the things that really give us joy in this world? It's self-discovery. It's know thyself because that allows us to be better at everything, whatever mask we have as a dad, as a son, as a brother, as a wife, as a mom, whatever that is, as an employee, like that improves all aspects of life dramatically when we begin to know ourselves

better. I mean, just as an easy example, since we using hitler as a topic of discussion here i mean look at look at look at his main shadow qualities a king because he was a leader but he was a shadow king right then you have the magician look what he manifested with his words shadow magician what did this guy need more of he needed to probably work out a little bit keep his mind right and he needed to rest and be get more into his lover. So he abandoned his lover and his warrior, did his bidding like a king, and manifested this atrocity that's now documented in history. But just looking at that obvious example, that could be applied to each one of us individually. Because, you know, it was many years, like I would be looking at inspirational quotes

and some of them are like, yeah, I can work on that. I believe that. And then as I like work on myself, like I'll look at a Gandhi quote, like be the change you want to see in the world. And I'm like, oh, that makes total sense now because now I have full faith that, you know, looking back at my Ukrainian parents

that brought me here, you know, wearing track suit, wearing, you know, boar sheeting, you know brought me here, you know, wearing tracksuit, wearing, you know, boar sheet and, you know, vodka drinking, you know, and well, they quit smoking now, like three years ago. And, but they smoked for 30 years. And then, so I moved out with Sarah and I'm just like, they come here and they feel better every time they quit smoking. They were doing Tai Chi with me. And I didn't say a word, but when I was growing up being the Czech in there, I was like, you got to cut gluten now.

You got to do this. And they were like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm not going to do any of that. And so they're the children that rebelled against me trying to parent them. So I'm like, oh, there's the rebellion back and forth. But then I said, fuck it. You do you. I'm going to do me.

And then by me being me, they're like, wait, I feel better doing what he does. And now they bought Thai fisherman pants. They're taking walks. They're eating. They're shopping at Whole Foods. I mean, they quit smoking. They drink more water. They go to bed on time.

I mean, it's crazy. And the energy of that's different too, you know, because it's not just advice. It's crazy. And the energy of that's different too, you know, because it's not just advice. It's felt. I had that come up in a 5MEO journey where I was thinking of different ways to connect to my mother, you know, and the ways that I could help, you know, and it was just you must know peace before you can teach it. That was the only thing I wrote down from the whole thing.

I was like, holy shit, I must know peace before I can teach it. Simple as that. And to be the embodiment of that thing on an energetic level, like right now, and of course, again, we're talking about a lot of ethereal things and some concepts that people might not be familiar with, but heart math is verified. The heart energy field does exist. They can map it when it's open, the heart chakra, it's eight feet in all directions.

So as we sit at this table right now, all of our heart chakras are interlinked with one another. We can feel into each other's energy. It's one of the reasons I absolutely love doing this podcast face-to-face and I'll take the Zoom calls when I have to. But if it's felt, if we are lifting ourselves up to be a better person for ourselves to begin with, that's also felt with every interaction we have at the grocery store, at work, with our parents

and our family. And that's oftentimes the easiest doorway in if you want to help someone else. It's just them feeling your light and your love and like, hey, what's different? You feel, you're awesome. Like, tell me more. You know what I'm saying? And there's a receptivity in that when it comes, especially when that energy is in balance with the masculine and feminine. Then that is granting permission for the feminine

to come in and ask about it and want to know more and want to receive that. Yeah. I wanted to add something. And there's even shadows in in being good like when you're like oh help someone at the store help help the old lady across the street help pick up trash and then the shadow to that is why isn't anyone helping me and then you start getting down on yourself like maybe i shouldn't just do these nice things because no one doesn't for me and

then i'm entitled to have these nice things. But then it's like now you're getting caught up in the shadow of just being a good person. And then so there's something missing. So then you got to go deeper into that. I mean, this stuff never. Or the shadow of doing it so that you are seen doing it. So that you are doing it to be good. Like, you know, well, that's a shadow.

Validation. Shadow of the mother, the martyr. the martyr yeah yeah that's very common also yeah it's funny for women yeah we have we have our nanny and she's uh she's um always asking like deep questions and she's like but what's after that and we're like this is after that and she's like oh my god okay and then she like grasps a concept and then she's like but now i have this question i go yep that's there now and she's like oh okay i'm gonna go think about this now and then she like it's fun because you know she's young and she like hits a wall and then i remember hitting all these walls and then being like there's more. Just breathe.

You're 20 years old. It's okay. Yeah. It's okay. You know, but she's thinking these things. We think these things. There's people that have never even dove into one of these thoughts. That's now you open up that box of the childlike curiosity and it could, it breaks people sometimes,

you know? So, you know, then you got to worry about who is the healer that's helping them and are they opening that box too quick? Are they shattering realities? Is that right? Should I give them the answer to that? Should I give them time to come up with their own answer? I mean...

No, you always have to ask the spiritual police. Like you can't just show people that, well, that's the important part of the ethics and of coaching is that you can see so much about people and what they're doing wrong and what they're doing right. You can't tell them the answer. You can't tell them this is what you have to do and this is what you did wrong. And here's what you know, you can't tell them. You just have to like guide and give them doors. And because if you do that,

then you're taking away their power. You're making them dependent on you. And then what happens when, you know, another thing comes up, then they're going to need you. And so rather than being able to do it themselves so you that that's where we see a lot of different you know coaching modalities where it goes wrong because they're just and a lot of therapy you go see a therapist a psychologist or a psychiatrist that's literally that's all you do you sit down and you talk you tell them they say this is what's this is your

diagnosis what's wrong with your head, and here's a worksheet. This is how you do it because that's what's wrong with your brain, and here's a prescription. And so that's, I feel like where so much of today's, you know, diseases and diagnoses and pathologies are wrong. Like, there's the book of, the psychology and psychiatry has a book of diagnoses. In 1959, it was, is when it started, there were like 149 clinical, you know-something categories of pathologies. One of them is sexual identity confusion. Another is alcohol drinking. There's just like over 380-something just categories.

We went through them laughing. We're like, we are so messed up. Yeah, but that's also pharmaceutical industry because the pharmaceutical industry wants to be able to, you know, prescribe for anything. Yeah. And, you know, so giving people like the answer is literally taking their power away. Whereas if you can help to just kind of steer and guide a little bit. And it's like having the ship in the sails and you're just kind of a little bit over here and it helps them to be able to say, ah, yes. And they have their own answer. I had a client just a couple of days ago and he's probably going to listen to this and know exactly who I'm talking about. But he came in and he was like,

I'm having this thing and I don't know how to, there's so many different thoughts going on. And, you know, I can already see the outcome. I'm like,, is it this or is it that? And he goes, well, it's kind of like this. And I go, okay, cool. Is it kind of like this and like this? And then as we like strung the one thought out and I go, well, if it can't be this, if it's this, so is it this or that? And then it's just this. And then I called it like this, like you put like four sets of headphones and you wound them up in your pocket and you just shoved them in and they're nicely wound but then you're walking around all day and you wake up the next morning and you pull them out and they're all stuck together and you're like how did i do this now i have to untangle all these thoughts so it's kind of like untangling your headphones until they're like uh-huh this is a coherent line of headphone i can plug this end here and after

the whole conversation he was like you you knew what I needed to say, didn't you? I was like, yep. Then he goes, but you couldn't just tell me. I go, nope. And I go, do you know why? He goes, because I wouldn't have learned anything. I go, yep. And I go, now you know the process that I went through with you. So you can do this yourself next time your thoughts get tangled. because guess what? Do you think this has ever happened to me? Yep. My thoughts get tangled every day.

And then I just practice untangling these little headphone like thoughts. But if I never taught you that in this present moment of how I go through it, you would never know this whole process. And he's like, you know, now that you've done that, it feels so simple of an answer now. And I go, yeah, it's always been simple, but we just make it complicated because it's fun. But we just don't realize it. We're just bored. So we complicate our lives. That's why if you have a dream, you don't need a crisis because you're like, uh-huh, I don't need to complicate my life. This is where I'm going. You know, oh, clearly my warrior's messed up because I'm eating too many sweets. I'm not going to bed on time.

I'm not nourishing myself. Okay, take care of the warrior. But if you haven't experienced the indulgence of the shadow warrior, you know, who is lifting, running, doing things that is hurting their body, you know, protecting the wrong people, you know, eating the wrong things for the body, feeling feeling sick being disempowered until you're like i've had enough of being the disempowered shadow warrior time to kick it up so you've saturated yourself with the shadow experience like that pivot like i had when i got arrested that changed my life i will if you leave a pen here at my house i will make sure i leave it out that you get that

pen back because I never want to disappoint people like that again. I have saturated myself with that experience. I'm done. So it doesn't even roll through my mind. Alcohol doesn't roll through my mind. Gluten doesn't roll through my mind. There's so many things that just don't entice me anymore. That just don't roll through my mind because I've saturated myself with the pain of that experience to no longer desire that experience not from like an abstinent mind but from like a pure i value life affirmative actions moving forward yeah yeah we stretch ourselves in all directions just to find the middle path that's right for us yeah yeah and that that psychology behind the to your point it shifts from the i can't have this to i choose to eat a certain way

i choose to live a certain way i choose to go to bed at a certain time because i know what the opposite of that feels like and i've lived it enough to know the difference and i get to i get to go to bed i get to sleep in a bed i get to go to work there's so many people without work i get to go and kiss my fiancee wife and we've been together so long we just blend it all together but my partner i get to kiss my partner and like i get to hug her and i get to grow better with her and it's like but it's like okay yeah you choose and it's like what what is the other one like uh i uh i forgot what the more devolved ones are um i have to yeah yeah i have to just get better versus i get to be better like you could be dead

you could be worse off but you get to be where you are now by the choices you make but now you can you get to participate in life if you choose to participate in life and how cool of a fucking gift is that considering that how carefully planned we are and how how much of a cosmic fucking mystery it is just to get your soul into the uterus into the egg of your mother's womb to have your soul and conscious development plugged into that and what are the fucking chances of all your ancestors having sex and staying alive long enough for you to be here right now mind-blowing and then you just piss it away for life experience you know of pain which is okay you know as like gluten here and as someone that's been on that other side i'm like i i i'm no longer trying to save the world i'm here

to save the people and show demonstrate the to the people that want to grow and then through my actions creates change not through my flapping of my gums all the time, even though I'm flapping my gums right now. I flap my gums enough for you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's good. Well, we've had some good gum flapping here.

We're an hour and 30 in. We're definitely going to set up a code for people who do want to do coaching with you. And I want to set up a code for what you guys are offering online, as well as through the Check Institute to set up a code for people who do want to do coaching with you. And I want to set up a code for what you guys are offering online, as well as through the Czech Institute with your women's program. But where can people find you online? Where can people find you on the gram or any other places? And I'll have also, I'll have a code for your people who are listening also,

who can have 25% off the women's course. It's also for women and men. It's great. It'll help explain everything different about women and help with relationships with women as well. And they can find us at primalfusionhealth.com. Yeah. And then womenwhorayshell for Sarah, health.performance.engineer for for me and then our combined one is primal underscore fusion and on instagram on instagram yeah and that's phenomenal we'll link to all that in the show notes yeah i love you guys so much i'm so thrilled to find you on the podcast here yeah we love you too kyle awesome and the family thank you guys for tuning in to today's show.

Alex and Sarah have such a wealth of knowledge. These guys are absolutely incredible. They're doing integrative coaching to energize your health and performance, elevate creativity and emotional intelligence, and expand your awareness within all levels of consciousness. We just really scratched the tip of the iceberg with these guys today. So if you have, if it has piqued your interest and you're curious in learning more,

these guys are doing a ton of cool stuff, but they're basically offering their online coaching at a huge discount at 12 hours per month for only $400. And I can assure you, it will help you with everything from your relationships to your connection to the earth, to your connection to your body, to really sorting

through anything that you haven't been able to get through any roadblock. You know, they've worked with so many individuals that seem to have all the answers except this one injury that kept coming back or this relationship they couldn't resolve. The same fear, financial roadblock or obstacle to expressing creativity, power, truth, or following their intuition. They've heard it a thousand times. All of the experience and the knowledge, all of the tools that have been added and are just being used, the books, the courses, medicine journeys, the workouts, training programs, supplements, blah, blah, blah, all of it.

You know, and the quote that they get is, I already know all I need to know about all of that. I just don't know why blank keeps happening or why I just can't blank. They know, they understand it. And these guys are prepared to take you through that, to punch through the other side, to break through the plateaus and become the best version of yourself. Visit primalfusionhealth.com slash Kyle, and you'll receive all sorts of free stuff. And if that tickles you further, then you can continue to work with these guys as I

have in the past and learn so much from them. Thank you guys for tuning in and we'll see you next week. Thank you.