Kyle Kingsbury Podcast - #222 Charles Clay
Episode Date: October 14, 2021Charles Clay is a newer brother, but a brother nonetheless. He is also a coach, a bodyworker, and so much more. He brings a lot out and up for me in this ep. There is a special light around him that b...rings the world around him up in vibration. Love this dude and love sharing this convo with y’all! Enjoy fam! Connect with Charles: Website: https://charlesclay.coach Instagram: @charlesclay.coach Facebook: Charles Clay Show Notes: Infinite Mind - Valerie Hunt Mary Margraves: Soul Attunements soul-attunements.com Sponsors: BiOptimizers is back with the best holiday helper out! Blood Sugar Breakthrough is here to help maintain healthy bloodsugar levels even when you cheat a little on your diet. Head to bloodsugarbreakthrough.health/kingsbu and use “KINGSBU10” at checkout for baller discounts! Lucy Go to lucy.co and use codeword “KKP” at Checkout to get 20% off the best nicotine gum in the game, or check out their lozenge. BLUblox head over to www.blublox.com for the best blue light blocking glasses in the game! Use code “KKP” and get 15% off any and everything there! Super Speciosa is the absolute best Kratom I’ve worked with head over to getsuperleaf.com/kkp for 20% off everything in store! Connect with Kyle: Fit For Service Academy App: Fit For Service Academy Instagram: @livingwiththekingsburys Youtube: Kyle Kingbury Podcast Kyles website: www.kingsbu.com Zion Node: https://getzion.com/ > Enter PubKey >PubKey: 03adf6062a67b4e2b5c7c7d28aa9e13b6c4afb4d5b8991ef823c934cf42b1ae8ac Like and subscribe to the podcast anywhere you can find podcasts. Leave a 5-star review and let me know what resonates or doesn’t.
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And we're back.
We're back.
Guess who's back with a brand new invention.
Is that what he says?
Brand new invention?
I don't know.
On a brand new mission.
On a brand new mission.
Ice is back on a brand new mission.
Ice is not back on a brand new mission.
I know that whole song by heart and I sing it with bear so for the fact that I'm drawing a blank here
it's not good for the intro and ad reads but I'm gonna let it rip um Charles Clay is on the podcast
he is somebody I've met probably in the last six months to a year I met him I believe at Colin and
Christie's uh two people who I definitely
need to have on this podcast from, uh, the amazing race and much more than that. They are
family and awesome people that have dropped in with on the ceremony side of things. And, um,
you know, starting last year when we were all supposed to be fucking locked away in our
apartments and not seeing anybody and watching the fake news,
these guys started having little get-togethers. And the little get-togethers in their backyard included yoga, breathwork, ice plunge, sauna, all the good shit. And it was really cool to
see community re-emerge. So much, much love and gratitude to Colin and Christy.
One of the people that I've met there was a guy named Charles Clay. And over the
course of me getting to know him better and witness his medicine, I was like, yeah, let's
fucking get you on the podcast. He's done some body work on me and different things where I had
the firsthand experience of what he brings to the table and really unpacking the mental, emotional
side to the physical, which is very important we can't miss
those pieces otherwise we just we heal the whack-a-mole with the body we heal one injury
and another one pops up and i have experienced that throughout the uh the madness of lockdowns
in the last year no question but i feel right as rain right now. This is the first podcast that I've cried on in probably, well, on one of my podcasts.
I know it seems like I cry on Aubrey's every fucking time I go on.
But this is one of the first podcasts I cry on in probably three years.
He tells a deeply, deeply touching story.
And really, you know, just one of my favorite podcasts that I've done this year.
Charles is a beautiful soul and brings a lot of joy and light everywhere he goes.
I forget the exact words I'm paraphrasing, but someone had commented to him about one of his qualities is that he's never cynical.
He's never, and I do this myself.
That's one of the reasons why I appreciated this about this witnessing of Charles is somebody had said, like, you always see the positive.
You always find that. And it's, you know, you've,
you've created yourself in a way where you're always vibrating at that
frequency. It never drops into sarcasm.
It never drops.
And I love sarcasm, but it is a negative.
Let's be perfectly honest.
Yeah, it's funny and all that, but it is negative.
Even JP Sears' comedy is phenomenal,
and he's poking fun at the people that need to be poked fun at.
But it's a different frequency. And you'll understand that when you
listen to this podcast with Charles. He is brilliant and just a beautiful human being.
So super pumped that I get to release this to you guys now. Remember to support this podcast
by purchasing stuff from our sponsors. It has a direct impact on me, the livelihood of this podcast. And please be aware that there are, it's pretty hard to keep shows like this afloat.
I mean, it's pretty hard to keep shows like this on air in the current climate of censorship.
So check me out over at the Fit for Service Academy that is available on iTunes and Google Play.
I post all the shit that I can post
there. I cannot put the stuff that I can't post on Instagram and can't post on YouTube. You'll get
it all in the fit for service Academy app. And when the time is right, of course I will send
people over to Zion. Not quite ready for that yet, but, um, I'm going to drop these ads real
quick and then we'll get into Charlesles we are brought to you today by
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the promo code KKP at checkout for 20% off your entire order. And without further ado, my man,
Charles Clay. Charles, it's taken some navigating of the schedules to get us here but we are face to
face finally and uh i forget how we met did we meet nansenitas were you out there in nansenitas
back in the day at blitzos you know we've had a lot of uh you know crossollination with friends, but I think the first time we really met was here.
I just moved here at Soul Land Sunday.
Colin and Christie's.
Yep, Colin and Christie's.
I've had Barton Scott's been on the show.
We've had some other people from there.
Yeah, and I was like, you're hard to miss.
So I saw you from halfway away.
I was like, man, is that Randy Couture over there?
Like I was like, looked familiar, but couldn't place it.
And then I was like, nah, dude's way younger and bigger than Randy Couture.
And what I loved is that you obviously have the warrior and the, you know, God-like physique.
And yet you gave the best hugs like it's like this like loving badass warrior
that also has this just like embracing hug of unconditional love and i really appreciated that
felt that right off the bat when i met you thank you brother yeah yeah yeah that is a compliment
that is always well received i love that yeah that Yeah. That's a big one. Bear gets,
Bear gets a lot of that too. My six year old, he's, he's the only kid in the neighborhood that,
I mean, for a solid year, he does less of it now and I've never corrected him, right? Incorrect.
I've never incorrected him on this. But for a long time, he would just, he would, he'd strike
up random conversation with somebody passing by, tell them about 4th of July or, you know, like,
are you going to buy fire workers?
He called them fire workers, right?
He's like, you're buying fire workers for New Year's?
We won't get to light them off until New Year's,
but we got to wait until New Year's and they're going to go on sale again.
We could light off more fire workers.
And they're like, okay.
They're like, come to our house.
We light a whole bunch off.
He's like, okay.
And then he'd be like, I love you.
You know, and then they would just stick them, right? They'd be like, I don't know you. I don't know your name. Why are you telling
me you love me? You know, like, and some people would get it and be like, oh my God, I love you
too. You know, but a lot of people would just be like frozen. Right. He said he loved me. I don't
know. I don't know what to do with that. All right. See you later. You you know like it was like the awkward you know like i give you i mean i've
i've done it before on accident or not no accident but you're getting off the phone with somebody
that is an acquaintance or somebody like that and you're like all right i love you goodbye
you know like something like that and you're like oh god did i say that oh that's just like
need your reaction you know but But like, I felt that.
And then to see people's reactions on the receiving end of it from a kid who's just
like an awesome little ball of light, you know, it's like, all right, I'm not going
to change that.
And if it fucking weirds people out, it weirds people out.
But people need love, especially right now.
People need it.
Yeah.
And it's, yeah, you get to see who's not ready to receive it at that level and
i've seen him play with fire workers and talk about joy yeah fully expressed man yeah he loves
lighting those things off it was like uh meeting my inner child again getting to witness that for
the fourth of july hanging out with you guys was It was great. Yeah, absolutely. He's a good dude. So let's, I mean, we typically, the trajectory of this is we talk about life growing up. We talk
about your background and how you got into what you're into. So however long you want to stay on
that scope, let's stay on that scope. And then let's just dive into the meat and potatoes of
all the good shit that you're offering now and how the world is piping ready for it. Absolutely, brother. You know,
I grew up in Washington state. And so I remember I've always had this fascination with the greatest
technology on the planet. And it's not these smartphones, it's not computers, it's these human
bodies. And so I've had this like deep fascination of like what's possible in these sensory suits.
And so that inspired me to, I figured that high school was a joke. So I just got the grades I needed to go to any college I wanted.
And that was like the trajectory, right?
But so I ended up going to Washington State for my degree in kinesiology.
Wazoo.
Yeah, yeah.
Pullman.
And even that was like, you know, it's like the first two years, you're just learning a bunch of crap that I don't even,
I'm not even interested in.
And then, and I'm paying for this.
And then finally, like the last two years,
I get to dive in on the meat and potatoes,
the good stuff that I'm there for.
And so I figured, Hey, I'm
paying for this. I'm going to get the full meal deal of this experience. And so I got the full
college experience and the fraternities and the, you know, sex, drugs, rock and roll and the whole
shebang. And, um, and it was awesome. And so graduated from college, moved to San Diego to live the beach life and became a trainer,
helping people upgrade this technology, human bodies, and that evolved into health coaching.
And then I had a huge initiation. I was up in Mammoth Mountain and this is when a couple
buddies and I were up there. and it was one of those days where
like there's no business they closed down the lifts like we are already at the top but I didn't
see anybody else besides us and it was full-on blizzard like there's snow coming in from every
which direction you could barely see like a tree five feet in front of you it was like a blur
and so it was pretty hairy and we were like well let's stay low
and just be ready for anything you know in charge so we went down having fun down the mountain and
my friends were ahead of me and i remember i was so pitch white and all of a sudden i just like
the ground went out from under me like i just took a jump that i didn't know was there
and i remember being in midair and just like everything kind of slowing down
and I'm like, oh shit, like where's the end of it?
Boom, I tightened up impact right on my low back
and smashed my vertebrae.
It was nasty and that was the most physical pain
I'd experienced at that point in my life
and I'm yelling to my friends,
hoping that they can
hear me. Cause they're in front of me. They couldn't hear me. I look at my phone, it's dead.
I'm on this mountain all by myself and like, uh, probably like 11 out of a 10 scale of pain.
And I'm like, how the hell am I going to get down from here? I'm stuck on half this, you know,
halfway down this mountain. And, um, I remember those, those moments like channeling your inner Spartan warrior, you know, it was like,
well, let's click my board off and sit on my board and go down as far as I can. And I'd like keel
over and take some deep breaths into the pain. And, and eventually I made it down and then had
to go see these doctors and, and these doctors are showing me x-rays and telling me how jacked up I am.
And they're like, you know, you're probably never going to move the same again.
And you're going to need surgery, maybe multiple surgeries.
And I'm looking at these guys like, that's not what I want to hear.
Like, even in that fight or flight response, I was able to access my intuition and
be like, this is not my path. Like I'm not giving this power to somebody else to cut into me to
fix this. And so, so glad I made that choice. Had to, could barely crawl to the bathroom.
So I finally had to sit with a lot of the emotions that I was stuffing and hiding from and escaping from and, you know,
shame, not being able to even like get up and be productive and go to work, let alone like stand
up straight. I just crawl into the bathroom. So fear if I was ever going to move the same again.
And, you know, and as I let a lot of those emotions flow through me, I remember sitting in a meditation with the intention of just being open to receive all answers to healing this naturally.
And during that meditation, a friend of mine I hadn't talked to in two years reached out to me and said, I heard your back's pretty jacked up.
Check out neurokinetic therapy.
And this is the work of David Weinstock. And so this
took me down this rabbit hole of like, holy cow, it's connecting so many dots for me,
my understanding of how the body's all interconnected. So I got the intuitive hit,
studied his work, went, got my first session with one of his top students in San Diego. And I was blown away by what I experienced in there.
I walked in looking like Shakira,
like stuck in a mid hip dance move,
like my hips over to the left,
my upper body's over to the right.
And I was in so much pain and she got me on the table,
tested some muscle groups,
found out my glutes weren't firing.
I was like, what do you mean my glutes aren't firing?
I have huge glutes. She's like, yep, all form, no function. So she had me clench
my jaw and then retested the glutes and all of a sudden they were firing again. And so my body
just showed us that my jaw was the neurological traffic jam preventing the signal getting to my
big guns, the glutes to help stabilize and balance my hips. So that along
with a couple other compensation patterns like that, we cleared up and I'm releasing my jaw.
I get off the table and I'm like, what? I'm like 90% better in one session and felt aligned again.
And then just gave her a huge hug. And I was like, this is it. I need to learn this. This is my path.
And so I went and studied all of David Weinstock's courses
and was just blown away like a fire hose
with all this information
and couldn't wait to share it with others.
And so that began my mind-body tune-ups practice
for healing sessions.
And that, while I was training,
was like a huge evolution that set me apart
because, you know, you got clients that are like, oh, my knee hurts today. And normally be like,
okay, we're not going to do legs today. Instead. It's like, well, let's take a look. Oh yeah. Your
popliteus is overfiring for your glutes. So let's show them how to correct that really quick.
Release the popliteus, strengthen the glutes. All of a sudden their knee doesn't hurt anymore because we restored function in the body. And so they're
back in the game and similar to the work you got to experience. And so that was one of those
amazing gifts and medicine that came from one of my biggest challenges. And so it began shifting everything for me as to really looking
back at like, wow, all my like toughest challenges and initiations and hell that I put myself in
actually unlocked these amazing gifts, talents, and passions that, um, so it, it changed that
whole paradigm for me. And, and I wasn't so afraid of challenges or, you know,
it made me like, cool. I'm curious now, like what, man, I'm getting hit with some heavy stuff right
now. Like, how is this happening for me? And so I'd always set that intention. What are the lessons
and blessings to learn in this? And there's a lot of lessons and blessings. I mean, to go back to my early childhood, you know, my first initiation was with my mom, you know,
deep mother wound, you know, when I was four parents divorced, I remember that like super
vivid mom was leaving. I remember the leather coat she wore, the color lipstick, the smell.
And as a four-year-old, that's like the woman you love the most is leaving.
Don't know when I'm going to see her again.
That was pretty brutal and began the abandonment wound
that a lot of people are experiencing or have moved through.
And then at age 10, well, fast forward a year later,
we got to go visit mom.
And she had a new boyfriend.
And that was like the highlight, like such a vivid part of my childhood, like getting to be with mom because dad's a badass.
He's the disciplinarian. He's like, you know, just, you know, he's all about the work hard and learn the value of a dollar and all this stuff. And, and then mom was like,
freedom, enjoy nature. Let's go on adventures to, cause to the ocean every summer. And that was like
my bliss. That was like, my five-year-old had this like imagination and this, all I needed was that
love from my mom to really expand on that. And, started a freaking biker gang at age five in that little neighborhood
and like went across the street and met this guy petting his dog.
And he became one of my best friends, you know, lifelong friends.
And we were the Scorpions.
We built like tree forts and all this stuff.
And so that was a super vivid part of my childhood that was really enriched.
And then at age 10, my mom took her own life.
And she suffered from depression and alcoholism and just went deep down that spiral.
And so that was, you know, my biggest initiation at that point was just like getting hit in the gut over and over with a baseball bat.
It's like a sensation of like, how could, if there is a God, like, how can he take this love from me?
You know, it felt like just a part of me was just lost.
And so that took me into some dark, almost like some really dark years of like hanging out with bad crowds,
older kids.
And we would get into like vandalizing and all kinds of stuff that just
whatever would excite us, you know?
And, and so the,
the good news was my dad always loved living more out in nature.
So we moved to a smaller town from,
we were in Iskwaw at that time, changed schools, moved to a smaller town.
And it was like, I got to recreate myself in eighth grade.
And it was a game changer because now it was like the new kid in this smaller town, the girls liked me.
I was made friends with the cool kids.
And all of a sudden, like I get to recreate myself and and so
that was a huge stepping stone but what I found throughout my life was I would fall in love meet
like you know the love of my life in that chapter and we would have this incredible
you know experience together and see this future. And then they would end up leaving
me. And so this was the pattern that kept showing up. Right. And then I was heartbroken later to
just discover that it was my expectations that were broken, which brought me closer to my heart
and recognizing this pattern finally was like, whoa, I have some work to do because this keeps showing up. And that's when
I developed through the teachers I was called to through these initiations and through my intuition,
I was able to develop a inner peace process that helped me connect the dots as to which parts of me needed the most love support and, and able to give those
to myself. And so that, um, losing my mom and then being like at her funeral, trying not to cry
because I remember sitting next to my brother and it was like this deep ingrained, we're boys, we're men, we're not supposed to cry,
can't show emotion, right? So that over time was just this like tight, you know, pain after,
you know, injury after injury that would just keep showing up as issues in my tissues,
that along with, you know, the loves of my life kept leaving me. So all that shifted when I began doing this inner work
and this inner peace process and realized like,
wow, I hadn't fully processed the anger.
And so that's the same reason that in college,
in high school, I would go to these parties
and be the life of the party, having a blast.
And all of a sudden, like a group of guys
would come up to me and start shit.
And it was like, you know, I had too much pride then. So I'd give the first punch, I'd take the first punch, having a blast and all of a sudden like a group of guys would come up to me and start shit and it
was like you know I had too much pride then so I'd give the first punch I'd take the first punch
give the last nine or ten and get the hell out of dodge for the cops show up and that was the
pattern and so I was noticing all these patterns and realizing like wow this has got to shift and
so that all changed when I began doing this inner work and going into these wounds.
It was just like, man, all the, all the things that I was trying not to feel with sex, drugs,
rock and roll, um, were just stuffing it down.
And it was like, keep getting poked at, right.
And this stuff just keeps coming up until we go to the source of it.
And so, um, that was this beautiful medicine that I gave to myself.
And through that process, I was able to heal that abandonment wound.
And then literally got super clear on what it is I want.
And the queen I wanted to call in and use some sex magic to, you know, send her some pleasure.
And before I even met her
physically, and then it was like, boom, boom, boom. She showed up. We just like hit it off,
like, you know, fireworks coming together. And then all these dreams just came true,
like boom, boom, boom, right after one, after the other in such a short time after doing this
inner work. And so it was like, wow, I'm onto
something like this is, this is what I need to share. And so that coupled with the, the body
work and the NKT mind body tune-ups, um, it's been, it's been a lot of fun to see how that's
shifted other people's lives, especially the, you know, the one-on-one work is like super
experiential. Cause I get a lot of people that come to me with low back pain.
And by the time they're done with that session, they're ready to get in the ring again.
And then those that feel called to the inner peace process all of a sudden recognize that, wow, I actually shouldn't be in this relationship that's not serving me well.
Or they realized that they weren't showing up for a relationship fully and they were able to reach new depths of intimacy by finding that internal i've had a bunch of um you know like real
estate agents that have worked with me and they were struggling financially and they're you know
getting enough deals going and stuff and pulling out these subconscious blocks through the inner
peace process discovering where they needed the love support and safety within themselves
unlocks this like new levels of
abundance in their life. And they're all of a sudden they're like top, you know, um, real estate
agent in their area and the youngest. And, um, so it's just really beautiful to get to witness
the shifts that occur in people's lives when we realize that we're our own greatest healers.
And so when we pay attention, when our
intuition calls us to someone that can share something with us that helps activate those
codes within us and that level of freedom, magic happens. Dreams come true really fast.
Yep. You got to listen to them though, right? No doubt, dude. Yeah. As you're talking,
you're giving a couple of great examples of how life will continue
to serve you the same lesson until you get it.
You know?
Absolutely.
One of the most painful fucking things.
And I can't imagine what that would be like.
Even just like my parents got divorced when I was 13.
And I was ready for it.
My sister wasn't as a 12-year-old.
But four, there's no way a four-year year old can understand that. Yeah. You know?
And then yeah,
my wife's father committed suicide when she was one. So, you know,
I've, I've spent some years picturing that,
like trying to dream into that that space.
So knowing what your mom was to you and, and at any point,
you know, even if you had a poor relationship with your parents,
that's kind of like,
there's no ability then to heal the relationship with them gone. Right.
Right. But 10 still 10 is fucking super young, dude.
And it's, it's, it's a big one to see how we'll recreate those things over and over and over again until we get it, you know, in your own relationships.
I was just, one of the things I've laughed about with Tosh was my mom always used to yell at me and my dad for wrestling.
And I'm thinking of my old man right now because he's staying with us.
He's in town for the weekend.
And she, you know, we'd get going hard and I'd take it too far or something like that. And I'd get hurt or something. And she'd be like, all right, knock it off. No more wrestling, you know, we'd get going hard and I'd take it too far or something like that.
And I'd get hurt or something.
And she'd be like, all right, knock it off.
No more wrestling, you know?
And so I'd be wrestling with Christian
and Tosh would be like, hey, knock it off.
You guys are going too hard on him.
He can't breathe.
Like that kind of thing.
Cause I'd be tickling him too much.
And, and one time I just looked at her
and I was like, knock it off, mom.
And I said that to my wife and I was like, whoa, dude. Oh no. Oh no. I'm sorry. Holy shit. You know, and I had to sit with that for like two weeks. I had to really like dig into that. Where am I attaching mom to you? You know, how is, how is, how are any, is any bit of our relationship clinging to my
relationship with my mother that I haven't dealt with yet? And what do I need to look at in my
relationship with my mother to fully let go of and heal from so that I can have a fresh slate with my
wife? Yeah. You know, fucking trippy though. You know, I was like, whoa, dude.
Freudian slip that like helped major you take a look at major
yeah and only because I've talked to people like you and then right you know taking a deep dive
into books that cover that stuff but um mind-blowing you know even knowing what I know to
brush up against that and be like oh yeah there's still some mom shit with me then I'm leeching onto
you and it has nothing to do with when I was a kid, but here I am making that happen in our relationship. And that's just one of a
thousand examples, right? Absolutely. You talking about those things, it brings up a lot for me
because people always hear like the textbook example of the girl who goes back to like,
it doesn't matter who she dates.
They always hit her or they always mistreat her or they always do this.
And that's how her dad was to her mother or whatever the case is.
But it's like, no one else can see it except her friends.
I mean, she can never see it.
Just the people on the outside and she never listens or whatever the case may be.
Even dudes that do that, you know, it doesn't have to be a female thing, but, um, when we see those loops in another, we don't necessarily see it in ourselves.
Like Bruce Lipton talked about that. He uses the example of Bob, how Bob acts exactly like his dad
when he gets upset, but Bob can never see it. And if you point it out to Bob,
Bob will freak the fuck out. Then he's really acting like his dad, right? Like you can't say, Hey Bob, you're acting like your dad again. Cause he does,
that's the last thing he wants to fucking hear. And he will freak the fuck out if you tell him
that, but everyone else can see it. Like, dude, you're just like your dad when you're angry,
that kind of thing. But we repeat those patterns. We repeat the, the undealt with
programming that we have until we actually get
to the root of that. Yep. And that, that to me is, is, um, it seems almost, uh, a cruel,
sick little spin that consciousness play puts in the game in the matrix. Right. And then at the
same time, it's, it's's if we're here for eternity,
it's like you're going to get this right before you move on.
There's no graduation until you fucking get this right.
And it's like there's these treasure chests at the end of those challenges that we don't want to look at
or those emotions we don't want to feel.
There's new depths and understandings of ourselves
that I can say for one, it's
always worth it. Yeah. It sucks sometimes like you get mirrored by everybody and you're getting
triggered by the same things and like, ah, it gets so frustrating. But like when you really
have a process to take it inward and understand how it's happening for you and what those lessons
and blessings are to learn, man,
it's game changer. And it's, it's always worth it. It's like the pot of the gold
at the end of the rainbow, you know, but, um, a lot of people just would rather keep perpetuating
the same. I mean, I did the same with you when you were talking about the sex,
drift and rock and roll of college. I know Wazoo because my boy,
big worm went there.
He went to Washington state,
super smart,
graduated in three years,
I think,
but I took seven years to drop out as a senior at ASU.
So I partied at ASU.
I went fucking hard to the paint.
and,
you know,
I think we were,
we were number one party school in the nation and playboy two years out of the
three that I was there. I was at junior college before that, but it was all ASU, you know, I think we were number one party school in the nation in Playboy two years out of the three that I was there.
I was at junior college before that, but it was all ASU.
You know, I was hanging out with all the guys at ASU.
And I think of that, like the level of numbing.
I forget who said it.
Like it was, this is so vague.
I can't even mention it.
I was about to say it was someone on Rogan's.
That is so fucking vague.
It might've been, God damn it. I can't even mention. I was about to say it was someone on Rogan's. That is so fucking vague. It might've been,
God damn it.
It'll come to me.
Or no,
it was,
it was not,
it was Jordan Peterson with Russell brand and Russell brand was admitting how
cannabis in a way saved his life.
The numbing,
because it was the least,
the,
the,
the,
the lesser of all evils,
you know,
and had he started with heroin
when he was leaning on cannabis as a crutch,
he would have been dead.
Wow.
So, you know, it was the progression
that allowed him to reach that and then reach rock bottom
and then, you know, surrender and go to AA
and do all the things, you know?
But like he had gratitude for cannabis as being a crutch.
And I think of those times in my life
because I smoked weed all the fucking time.
And I use it as a very,
one of the most respected plants.
Like I do not want to go heavy to the paint with that.
I'd rather have 30 grams of mushrooms
than 100 milligrams of cannabis or THC.
And, but when I was in college,
you know, I'd load a four foot bong every day
I'd wake and bake, you know,
and there was a lot of times where I just leaned on that thing. And, and it's funny
because it was, there was a point where in my life, I thought of that as just wasted time,
you know, like, man, I could have been learning. I could have been doing this. I could have been
actually doing the work. And it's like, I would, that's all I was ready for right then. That's what
I could handle. What I could handle was saying, I don't want to fucking deal with this. Right.
Right. What I could handle was give me some euphoria. Give me some of that nectar
from mother nature and let me just fucking cruise through the day. And then I'll deal with this
shit later. And then, and then I get to deal with it later. Yeah. You know, I think, I think
one of the most important pieces in our time right now is the fact that we're coming to
a point, you call it the singularity and call
it whatever you want, but we're coming to a point in our, each as individuals and in a culture,
no matter where you live on the planet and as a whole of humanity, where we can no longer look
away from the problem staring us in the face. Absolutely. We don't get to say, I'm going to numb for a couple more years and wait this out.
Nope.
We got to take a look right now.
Dive in deeper into this inner peace process
because the last year and a half has been a mindfuck,
bare minimum.
I mean, there's people who have been numbing.
We've seen alcohol sales go through the roof.
Domestic violence has gone through the roof.
Suicide's gone through the roof.
Even just saying these numbers, it's like, yeah, yeah, I know that.
You know, like I hear somebody and it's like, yeah, yeah, I know that.
And it's like, no, dude, that's a big fucking deal, dude.
Like that's a really big deal.
It's a really big deal because it's happened so quick.
And we're already acclimating to it.
Right.
Right.
But this is the time where we're not going to get a chance to push pause. We're not going to get a chance to say, I'm just going to cruise through this. You know, I'm just waiting until the weekend so I can grab an eight ball and a couple of drinks and see how, see where the night takes me with the ladies. Like none of that shit. There's people living that way, but I promise you now is the time to look at it. And I think we really need these tools that can help us navigate this
properly.
Yeah.
I couldn't agree more.
And yeah,
you know,
here's one that we'll tie that together is with the same story too,
is,
you know,
my relationship with cannabis,
same thing.
I was like big stoner through college and high school in a period of my
life.
And,
and I enjoyed that numbing out
for a while until it was like, wow, I'm like, it's hard to quit this. I got, I've realized like, wow,
I'm attached to this and now it's unhealthy. And I would try to quit. And then I was out of
integrity and I would just keep doing it again. And so that was like chipping away at my self-trust and my integrity and my confidence.
And so realizing that and getting to use the, you know, the first like rough draft of the inner
peace process, it was like, okay, so smoking, lungs, lungs and Chinese medicine represent grief,
right? If we haven't processed grief, right? So it so it's like oh so I am not finished
processing the grief from losing my mom so sitting with that writing about that and and realizing
that that okay where is this emotion showing up the sadness okay it's in my heart my lungs right
so then connecting that to the dots of when was the first time that I felt this sadness?
Oh, of course.
It was the first time I lost my mom when I was four, when she left.
And so connecting that to that first story, the first time we experienced that emotion,
that energy in motion, that four-year-old didn't know how the hell to deal with that.
And so now as my current self, I have the opportunity to help him out.
And the first time connecting with that part of me again, he was like, you know, arms folded, like give me the cold shoulder. He was like, didn't want anything to do with me.
And I was like, man, I'm here to help. And, and, you know, he's like, I abandoned him.
My mom abandoned him and he was just pissed, you know?
And so this helped me realize like, wow,
this unprocessed anger too.
And so going back and just kept checking in with him,
just kept checking in with him and meditation and journaling.
And then little by little, he's like opening up to me.
And before you know, we're hugging it out and havingaling. And, and then little by little, he's like opening up to me. And before you know,
we're hugging it out and having tears. And then he feels more integrated and safe in my heart again.
And I get to like hold his hand and show him everything we've accomplished up till now.
And then next time I check on him, he's like, come look at this awesome drawing I did on our
art table, you know, that was at that old house.
And so then he's happy.
Then everything starts shifting in my life.
And the first thing I noticed was, wow, I don't have the same magnetism to cannabis.
Like, I don't even care for it.
I don't need it now.
So it was like it lost that need, that crutch.
So that was really powerful and then then um as
i started dealing with the anger and realizing there's really powerful ways to channel that into
something constructive and and um that was really profound because then i like actually really
enjoyed my anger and i was like wow this is fucking fierce energy that I really like.
It's powerful.
Why was I repressing this?
Yeah, Valerie Hunt.
I don't want to cut you off, but Valerie Hunt, she wrote the book Infinite Mind.
And Dr. Wayne Dyer used to talk about that frequently.
So I finally got it.
I read it maybe a decade ago.
It is a fucking brilliant book.
I'll link to it in the show notes.
But she talks about that.
And one of the ladies that I work with, Mary Margrave, you might've heard of her. She's out in Sedona. She's brilliant.
soul-attunements.com. We'll link to her in the show notes as well. There's a three month waiting
list if you want to work with, with her, uh, highly worth it. But, um, anyways, uh, both her,
you know, and I hadn't, I hadn't really touched this until Mary brought it back up, but Mary was
saying like the divine feminine speaks through the emotional body.
It doesn't come through words.
It comes through emotion.
The masculine speaks through words, rational, right?
And you could just look at it as these left and right brains.
How do they operate?
Emotions are inherently good.
The idea that we eliminate fear or we eliminate anger or we eliminate anything is like,
I don't want to live in those things, right? You don't want chronic stress. I don't
want to chronically be angry or enraged. I don't want to chronically live in fear. There's a lot
of that. It's too much of that right now, right? But to say, I'll get rid of that, that's also a
fallacy and it's not a part of the game. We've been gifted these things so we can understand something's off.
Look at it.
Right.
And if I have this,
this sacred anger,
right. There's a fucking reason for that.
Some,
there's a transgression.
Absolutely.
Most likely.
And there's quite likely in,
in addition to that side-by-side coupling,
the transgression from someone else is a transgression that I've made against
myself and allowing it to take place in the first place.
Right.
That's it. That's what I found is that every time I was pointing the finger,
like this person's pissing me off. I always have these other fingers pointing back at me as where's the source of that. So through this process, I'd realize like, wow, I was just pissed at myself
for not creating the boundaries that I needed or communicating well enough, like my needs
in these areas. And so that was just like, wow,
I actually love my anger now and I have constructive ways of channeling it. So that just
opened up so many things in my life. One of which that old pattern of like guys messing with me at
parties and stuff, that was all came clear to me. It of course like i go to parties we're drinking alcohol
that on that repressed anger comes to the surface and then anyone else in the room that also is
experiencing repressed anger it's like law of attraction brings us together and then sparks fly
and so by fully processing that releasing it on the bag you know know, sparring, um, and even like Viking roars and a paintbrush too. Yeah.
It's totally anywhere. Yeah, totally. And I began to love that energy because now I have a way of
transmuting that and alchemizing that into, into beautiful things. And so no one ever messed with
me after that. Like never, it's just like, you know, there's so much more love replacing
that where that buried anger was. And so that helped me realize like, wow, here I have been
trying to like feel better all the time, trying to feel better. And I was always like captain
positivity and like, and that got me so far, but it was still
like hitting this glass ceiling of like the amount of joy that I could experience.
It was like the same joy I had experienced before because I was only willing to go to
the depths of heavy emotions, grief and anger and, and what we consider bad, but they're
not actually, we're the meaning makers of that.
So this was like, it shifted for me when I decided instead of just trying to feel
better, I'm going to allow myself to feel more. And boom, I went to the depths of anger, discovered
all those lessons and blessings, went to the depths of sorrow. And, you know, that was a deep
one with initiation with my dad and, and like, you know, his, my dad passed four years ago and that initiation was like now
I realized like everything that I've learned in life was to prepare me for this initiation
and it was like getting that call from my dad who's's my hero, the badass in my life, the king,
and just tell by his voice, you know, like he was like, I got to tell you something.
I just got diagnosed with stage four cancer, lung cancer, and they gave me two months to live.
And I took a deep breath and I chose my words very wisely.
And I said, dad, do you want to live?
Do you want to beat this?
And he said, you're damn right I do.
And I said, good, then don't listen to a word those doctors said.
Like we're about to get you upgraded on everything that's already curing cancer.
Right?
And so we got him infrared sauna.
I taught him how to do coffee enemas we got like all the
latest and greatest and um biohacking and he just dug it he was into it and like this gave him this
new found you know vigor for life and and um and so sure enough you know we had this huge like
we turned two months into two years and in that, I got to share everything on my heart with my dad.
Because this time I knew, like, at least I had it with my mom.
I was like, that just hit me in the gut, you know, out of nowhere.
This time I was like rolling up my sleeves to come rescue him every time.
I heard he was in the hospital again.
And, you know, my family called me and I'd be like, all right, dad,
let's do a couple of laps around the hospital. Like doc,
what do we need to get him signed off and out of here? And he's like, yeah,
you can do this, that, and the other thing. And a couple of laps,
then he's good to go. And I was like, sweet, let's do it.
And that here I'm coaching my dad. He's on like a, a Walker, you know?
And I'm like, um, that just pulled on
my heartstrings, you know, just like, um, and then getting to take him to the park and like,
get some vitamin D from the sun and like hang out and ground and, and, um, get to play with my
little brothers and like every little smirk, smile and laugh from my dad at that point was like me fully present to anchor in those
moments in vivid HD those memories so that I could always cherish that and and then there was one day
when you know two years later I got the call this is in the hospital again they had him at home now in hospice I flew out there
and I saw him and his body was so frail and he was in so much pain and and I just knew and I was like
man I'm not here to save him this time I rolled down my sleeves and I sat there next to him while a friend of ours played the guitar and this song called let it flow
and I just ugly cried like full-on I can't remember the last time he saw me cry and like
crying for like the sorrow and the grief I didn't you know still had from my mom and all that, just like fully let it go with my hand on his shoulder and getting to be witnessed in that.
And like going to those depths of sorrow was so beautiful.
That was my pot of gold was realizing like, man, that I love this man so much.
And he gets to witness how much I love him by sharing how much, how many tears I have for him leaving this
human form. And so that was really profound and powerful. And then not much longer, you know, we,
we gathered around him and, um, and I knew it was about time. And, and, and this took me back to the
reason, like one of the reasons that I was called to Bufo, you know, 5-MeO and these,
these medicines and ayahuasca that I was like, my ego was so fearful of before I knew much about
them. But I moved through those fears, got the experience of what it's like when we're energy
again, when we're not in human form and it's so beautiful. And so that was,
here I am sitting next to my dad on his deathbed,
holding his hand and he was in just so much pain.
He was just barely holding on for us.
And I told him, dad, we love you so much.
We will always be with you.
And where you're going is super peaceful.
It's so beautiful. And there you're going is super peaceful. It's so beautiful.
And there's no need to fight anymore.
And he literally took his last breath.
And I'll never forget that gift that I got to be with him all the way to the end.
And like you mentioned earlier that like when they're not with us, that we can't do that same healing.
I thought the same thing until I was called to another medicine journey not too long ago.
And, you know, Garen in our, in our men's group, epic soul, man.
He's got so many gifts he shows up at this medicine ceremony and
it's like we're all on our journey um everybody's just going nuts in their musical gifts and uh
garen's just belting out this beautiful song and there's like this circle and playing drums and and i'm
just kind of like tapping my toe and like feeling some some anxiety and some stuff come up inside of
me and and uh and i remember garen stepped away and it was like everybody kind of showed their
gifts things and it was my turn and they were like everybody was looking at me and I just felt like
this little kid like I don't want to you know like I'm not in that right now and um and Garen
came over and said your five-year-old just needs permission to play full out
and and and it like as soon as he said that at first,
I was embarrassed because I was being called out in front of everyone. And I was like, man,
this is, this is so uncomfortable. And then as soon as I like dove into his words,
recognize like all these neural pathways just opened up and helped me remember my five-year-old genius right that that was i had
done so much work around my four-year-old but like here's this five-year-old that was enjoying
these vivid moments with my mom and creating biker gangs and like all this fun stuff at the beach and
he was shunned and repressed and feeling reserved because my dad was six,
five,
and he would express his anger at me as a five-year-old in a pretty intense
way. He wouldn't hit us or anything,
but it was enough to make me reserved, you know?
And so it opened up that channel and I realized like, you're right.
I haven't given him full permission
to play. And, um, fricking just did like the most ridiculous, stupid looking dance and like
flossing and cartwheels and like, whatever my five-year-old wanted to do in that moment to like,
to, to be free. And, uh, it was hilarious. And then later in the night, I'm like still in the
medicine and everybody's about to go to bed. It's probably like 5.00 AM. And I'm like, Garen,
I'd love to have a little slumber party, man. I really appreciate the way you called me out
and the way you see things. Um, just like we talked about when we, our friends can see it,
but we can't, I was like, is there anything else you see?
Because that's why I'm here.
I want to know, you know, is there anything else I'm missing?
And he said, you know, he says, let's go lay down.
And he starts channeling.
And I don't know if you've ever seen his, he's got this gift, man.
And it's, it's kind of wild at first because it's almost like this old man that's like talking like this that comes through, right?
But he channeled my father.
And so I knew it was my dad because he said, as my dad, he said that I couldn't stop it.
I tried so hard to stop it, the anger.
I didn't want it to go to you.
And so I knew it was my dad and I just,
tears started coming and I was like, holy cow,
like he's here and he had a huge message for me he was like I left you something
in the garden and I was like well the garden like my garden at home he's like yeah I left you
something there and it's it's under the red in the garden and you'll know what it is because it
doesn't fit in in the garden and when you find that then you have
full permission to let that five-year-old express what he wanted to to me i was like holy shit
and all this stuff came through and i was just like flood of emotions and and then i couldn't
wait till like the next day go my god and i'm I'm like, what am I going to find? And then part of me was like, is this just crazy?
You know?
And like, so I'm looking and, and, and I remembered that, wait, there is, I get, I get to my garden
and it's like stuff shriveled up.
It's like, you know, there's, everything's pretty much dead, but there was one little
shriveled up red bell pepper left on the vine.
And under that, I'm like sweeping away all these leaves and stuff.
And sure enough, I find this beautiful seashell, this little beautiful seashell.
It's like verbenace sequence, you know, and I'm like, he knows how much I love the beach.
Like what?
This is amazing.
So I literally just let my five-year-old go nuts.
I let him just, I didn't care if my neighbors saw or anything.
It was just like, Hey,
I'm sick of being your anger punching bag and I'm fed up with it.
And I've had enough and it's bullshit and blah, blah, blah.
A little five-year-old cussing and like just letting him go nuts and shaking it
out and, and punching. and punching and and um that not only set me free and allowed me to play full out
but that set my dad free his soul was liberated and I felt it. Man, it just melted. I was like, this is such a gift.
And that's because I asked to go deeper. That's because I had a mirror, Garen, dear friend,
that was willing to show me. And those gifts are all waiting for us. And the more we hide from them, from alcohol, sex, Facebook, all the things,
even working.
There's a lot of doers that are just like, got to be doing all the time
and not taking time to sit and feel what's in the depths of those issues
in their tissues that are showing up as pain.
There's lessons and blessings in there and golden nuggets that they can discover
and understand about themselves.
And then they can go on and share those with others
to help them on their journey.
And that completes that series of the hero's journey
only to begin another one, right?
Yeah, brother.
Yeah.
Again and again.
Yeah, Paul, it's funny.
I've had the experience on medicine of like,
have you seen The Green Knight?
Sir Gowan and The Green Knight?
It's fucking brilliant.
Actually, it didn't stay long in the theaters,
and I want people to watch it, so I'm not going to give it away.
But God damn it.
I'm trying to figure out a word this without giving
it away it is so fucking good it's from uh the myths of king arthur um joseph campbell
took broke it down on the power of myth but anyhow uh fuck that completely derails me without being
able to talk about it i'll watch it i. I trust you. I got the intuitive hit.
Like,
yeah,
it's on,
you can see,
you can watch on voodoo,
which is Fandango's straight to home.
You run it for 20 bucks.
It's fucking brilliant.
Cool.
Um,
there is a part of it where,
uh,
I have experienced this on medicine where I'm in a conversation with God and I'm like,
is there,
is this all there fucking is,
you know? And I
read, listen to Paul talk on his podcast about, um, a similar conversation. And, uh,
and the answer was, what else is there to do, but play these games? What else is there to do?
If you operate outside of space and time for infinity, what else is there to do? If you operate outside of space and time for infinity,
what else is there to do?
Fucking play the games.
Right?
So I think of that like that,
you know,
there's been,
especially as the world is,
is cooking up right now.
And it's been hard to argue with much of what David Icke has proposed.
The more I've studied that,
it's like, is this a place, you know,
controlled by the rulers or the archons or what the narconostics believed?
Or is this, you know,
is this the world of Baal or fucking,
however you want to word that?
Is this the devil's world?
And the more I lean into that,
it's both hand, right?
It's fucking divine. It's the divine matrix as Greg Radin calls it., it's both and, right? It's fucking divine.
It's the divine matrix, as Greg Radin calls it.
And it's the fucking prison.
It's all of it, man.
It's all of it and more.
And there's nothing else to do but be in the game.
And I was telling you before this podcast started about my 16 nights of hell from the initiation with 5MEO.
And Paul Cech was the guy that i called
on christmas eve we spoke and he gave me a closing ceremony and got me out of it and i
dive into that in detail in the solo cast that i did last but uh
that night i had asked for it to come through in my dreams the alchemy in a way that i wouldn't
understand it like my small self make it fucking plain Jane. And it was such a psychedelic dream, but it was my wife as the divine feminine saying like, Hey, I created
this matrix for you. Play the fucking game, play the fucking game. Quit trying to decipher it.
There is no best way. There is no right and wrong. Play it, play the fucking game. And it was said
that I woke up and I was like, oh, all right.
Heard, you know?
Heard.
All right, let's go.
Let's go.
And play it.
What if the game is like, how much can you learn and how much fun can you have here?
In all the ways.
Because as a soul, like when we're energy and we decide to come back into human form and play this game where there's the most
epic learning that I know of, because there's so much contrast here that allows us to understand
ourselves more than what if it's to have the most fun, to experience the most of all the emotions,
the full spectrum.
And in doing that, you unlock more deeper understanding of self.
And then it's like you go back to energy again and just celebrate with everything, you know, as one.
And like, yes, I get to download this to the Akashic Records, you know,
like nailed it.
Yeah.
Do the most.
Yeah, experience the most, like nailed it. Yeah. Do the, do the most. Yeah.
Experience the most. Right. Exactly. Yeah. The, uh, what is, uh,
Ellen Watts say the full plenum of joy, right?
The full plenum of bliss.
And you can't experience that here unless you're willing to go to the depths of the heavy emotions that we're trained to avoid. Yeah.
And that unlocks new glass ceilings and,
and elevates your amount of joy and that natural state of inner peace and
joy.
And I feel like that's needed now more than ever with everything going on in
the world.
It's like to be able to come back to a natural state of inner peace and
observation of it all so that
you can choose wisely how you play the game.
So powerful and important right now,
because it's kind of like that.
You got doomsday preppers and then you got those that just are trying to
hope that everything's normal again,
you know?
And like,
they're both in for quite the ride, right?
Like I'm,
I'm kind of always finding my neutrality of what really resonates with me.
And there's definitely some fast changes coming.
Like we've already noticed this,
the momentum of how things are changing faster.
And so it's like these old systems that aren't working
are struggling to survive and are getting really desperate.
And so that's going to create a ripple effect.
And how people deal with that is going to be really important moving forward.
And I love Bruce Lee.
I love his quotes.
He's like, you know, they're like, Bruce Lee, you know, you're such a great fighter and you're always fighting, but you're all about inner peace. So what is that all about? You know, and he's like, challenges are going to bring more lessons and blessings and gifts, having prepared for that in the best ways, you know, how connecting with those that, you know, are the least likely to die, you know, and having a little protocol in play and to, to make sure, you know, are the least likely to die, you know, and having a little protocol in play and to,
to make sure, you know, things are dialed in and, and taken care of in worst case scenario.
And then that's about all the attention I need to give it. And then I can focus on what I want
to create and what we want to co-create and like what's possible and, and create something better
than what's not working
instead of keep saying oh this sucks and this doesn't work well you keep fueling it yeah you're
putting your attention your greatest asset energy into that and so it's like fuel in the fire whereas
cool see that coming put some things in place and that way I have peace of mind, no matter what happens,
I can keep my calm and cool.
And you've got to do that with kids,
right?
You have kids.
If you're a dad,
especially as a provider and a protector.
Freaking out doesn't help any situation.
But having,
having,
you know,
a little extra in the pantry and,
you know,
having put some thought around what are the bases that need to be covered so
you can sleep at night.
If you do that,
then you can sleep at night and then you can go back into calm,
collected.
All right.
Uh,
I'm not going to watch this video at night before bed.
I'll watch it during the day when I'm on a walk in nature and I can move it,
process that shit,
move it through my body and then let it go.
So when I go to sleep, I actually hit the sheets and I fall asleep easy.
Yeah.
You know, there's definitely navigational points for all that.
But I fucking blown away on this podcast.
We didn't have video, but I had tears streaming down my face for a lot of it.
I love you, brother.
Love you too.
Thank you for coming on.
Where can people find you and check out your work?
Yeah, super easy. Instagram, charlesclay.coach. Website, charlesclay.coach. Keep it simple. I love to connect. Anybody that resonates, wants to go deeper on this work, have the afraid to reach out even if it's me or whoever you intuitively feel called to
like we're all in this together so there's no need to try to play the lone wolf game anymore and um
yeah love to connect and dive deeper into this journey absolutely brother thank you charles Thank you.